All language subtitles for Corner.Gas.Animated.S01E13_English

[signal bell dings]

Fill 'er up?

What am I, the king of England?

Gimme the usual.

Eight bucks it is.

Scrap wood, rope, cable...

You building a circus?

Where are your elephants?

Laugh it up, chuckles.

I'm using that stuff
for something very--

I'll stop you right there.

I don't wanna know.

Remember what happened
last time I got involved

in one of your projects?

[weeping]

Now we must
say goodbye

to a good man.

All because of
a senseless act

by two immature
hooligans.

[mourners weeping]

Wonder what happened
to that guy?

Yeah, and who are
those hooligans

he's talking about?

Anyway, help me
lift this thing.

[cracking]
Ow, my back!

My bottled water business
would have made a killing

if your back
hadn't gone out.

Yeah, my slipped disc
was the reason

people didn't drink
your dirty creek water.

I'm done riding shotgun
in your crazy schemes.

Count me out.

[chuckling]
Whoa, slow your roll.

"Slow my roll"?

Nobody's counting you in.

Lacey's helping me.

Lacey? Really?

She's been very supportive.

Well... good.

You two have fun.

There we go.

Eight bucks.

Heh, I'm a little strapped.

Uh, how about I trade you

for a flat of Hank's
Prairie Creek Water?

I thought you were
calling it "Prairier."

Geez, you'd think the sludge
would have settled by now.

Oh, hey, little fella.

♪ You think there's not a lot
goin' on ♪

♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪

[♪♪♪]

I've been thinking
about pockets.

[groans]
Of course you have.

Are they just
tiny purses for men?

Or are purses

giant pockets
for ladies?

What the hell is this?

It's called a conversation.

Sorry!

No, this.

What's with
all the junk?

It's not junk.

This is a perfectly
legitimate trading system.

People leave stuff
they no longer want

on Main Street,

and it gets picked up
by others.

It's like those
online trading sites.

Without all the bad grammar
and smut.

And murders.

You can't just
dump your crap

on the side
of the road,

and think some idiot
will want it

because
it says "free."

Cool, free horse lamp!

Here, put this
in your giant lady pocket.

Who said
it was giant?

What's that thing?

One of those
robot vacuums.

Can you believe somebody
left it on the street for free?

Oh, sure,

you're allowed
to bring home garbage.

When I do it,
it's "unsanitary."

A dead raccoon is not garbage.

I'm reminded of that
whenever I check the time.

This is useful.

[beeping robotic warble]

We don't need

no robot cleaner
in the house.

The Jetsons had one,

and look
what happened to them.

What happened
to The Jetsons?

Exactly.

Used to be on Saturday
mornings, 10:00 a.m.,

and then boom,

nobody's seen them in 40 years.

And here I thought

you were going to
say something stupid.

The vacuum stays.

[robotic beeping]

[♪♪♪]

So, what's this big
secret project

you guys
are working on?

Why do you
want to know?

So you can make
fun of me some more?

No.

I mean, it's probably
gonna happen.

Hank has a great idea
for a town attraction,

and I'm helping him realize it.

What is it?

Haunted Corn Maze?

Raw poultry
eating contest?

Senior citizen
cage wrestling?

Ooh, that last one
has potential.

If you're done
making jokes,

some of us
have work to do.

Fine, but don't
come crawling to me

when whatever
he's got you mixed up in

literally blows up
in your face.

Literally.

Kablooey.

Like Daffy Duck's beak
on the side of his head,

kind of literally.

Are you sure you know
what "literally" means?

[humming contentedly]

Do me a favour.

Go see what Hank
and Lacey are up to.

Can't. Busy.

That seems
out of character.

Doing what?

Giving the calculator
a little upgrade.

Now it's
voice-activated.

Calculator, what's two plus two?

[serene female voice]:
Four.

Thank you!

What? The button-pushing
is the funnest part.

"Funnest" isn't a word.

Neither is "boobless,"

but you can write it
on a calculator.

Why don't you put
that big brain of yours

to good use,

like finding out what
Hank and Lacey are up to.

Why do you care
what they're doing?

I don't care.

Could care less.

If you could care less,
that means you do care.

Yeah, well...

You see? Grammar is
is a total brain-waste.

[♪♪♪]

[beeping]

Ah!
Back off, Star Wars!

Human coming through.

[beeping]

[chuckles]

I guess you're kind of cute.

You like crumbs, eh?

[chuckling fondly]

[beeping]

Aw, he's hungry!

Let's see what else
we got around here for you.

[cupboard door squeaks]

You like zoodles?

So, people leave
their stuff,

and it gets picked up
by someone else.

It's a victimless crime.

It's the principle of the thing.

It makes the town look bad.

Whoa...

A cowboy lamp!

Fingers crossed
for a wagon lamp.

Who wants a microwave
without a door?

Just take it to the dump.

Dump fees are expensive.

Plus it's way out of town.

Ugh, I'm getting tired
just talking about it.

What are you doing?

[chuckling]
Playin' fetch.

How is that fetch?

You're just throwing
stuff in its path.

[beeping]

Dusty loves Cheezies.

Hates Smarties, though.

They go through him like
a hot shot of coffee.

Dusty?

Dusty Buster.

That's his name.

This carpet's
dirtier than before.

No wonder he was
left in the street.

Hey, robot!

There's dirt over here.

[beeping]

Aw...

He hates you.

[♪♪♪]

I didn't want
to say this before,

but you really shouldn't be
pallin' around with Lacey.

She's cagey.

Cagey how?

Always pays with exact change.

Uses hand sanitizer
before washing her hands.

You know she puts up
her Christmas decorations

November 1st, right?

That's a window into madness.

Oh. You're just jealous
'cause I got a great idea,

and I'm not
sharing it with you.

I don't want
to be involved.

I just want to know
what it is.

No dice.

And stop paying me
with pond water!

Well...

are you gonna
ring me up,

or stand there
yapping all day?

Geez, who pooped
in your zoodles?

I'm just grumpy
because I found--

uh, spent money

on a perfectly good
robotic vacuum

that's a piece of junk.

I could take
a look at it for you.

I, uh, know a thing or two
about electronics.

Yeah, I've been meaning
to talk to you about that.

What's seven times six?

[serene female voice]:
Fatty-two.

See? "Fatty-two"!

You did that
on purpose.

Don't be
ridiculous.

Really?
What's 13 times two?

Tubby-six...

I didn't
make it do that.

Did you make it do that?

[chuckling]
Yeah, I made it do that.

I love electronics.

Robotics.

Any "ics," really.

I always wanted to compete
on that Robot Wars show.

[saws buzzing,
electric guitars soloing]

Hey, Chrome-hole, come get some!

Turns out they don't
let humans compete.

But I can fix
your vacuum.

This stuff's not junk,
it's all usable.

Really?

Legless chair?

It's a floor seat.

Very Japanese.

Dump it or keep it.

No more Main Street
Free-For-All.

[gasps] Jackpot!

[rings bell]

Time to find out
what you're up to.

Lookie what I found.

Oh, that will work
perfectly!

Pretty cool zip-line,
eh, Hank?

Yeah, it's...
all right.

[Brent]: Are you
kidding me?

I thought it'd be
something insane,

like a cow cannon
or a Hank-apault,

but this?

You kept me in the dark

so you could build

the world's
lamest zip-line?

It's not lame.

Come on,
it's barely ten feet across,

and it's not nearly high enough.

Look at that poor kid.

This does kinda suck.

We're in the middle
of the prairies.

It's not like there's
mountains to zip.

You've lived here
your whole life,

you never noticed
the hundred-foot grain elevator?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, now,
that's not exactly safe.

Aw, man,

I didn't even think
about the elevator!

Brent's right.

We need
to ramp it up.

Go big
or go home!

So you're going home?

No, I'm going big.

But first
I have to go home

and get some stuff.

Then I'm going big!

Ah, don't take it
too hard, Lacey.

This is your first try
at being Hank's pal,

but I know
how his mind works.

I know how his mind
works too.

Which is why

I was purposely

keeping him
away from the elevator,

because I knew
he'd go up there

and kill himself.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, that is how his mind works.

Uh-oh.

[♪♪♪]

Allow me to introduce
the new, the improved,

Suck-Bot 2.0.

Wow...

He looks
totally different.

Like when Emma
got that stupid perm.

You said I looked like
Bernadette Peters!

State-of-the-art
monitoring system,

duel intake suction...

he's even voice-activated.

Suck-Bot,

vacuum the living room.

[robotic male voice]:
My pleasure, Mrs. Leroy.

[laser buzzing]

That is impressive.

And I installed
satellite radio

so you can get the news
while he cleans.

It's being reported

that afternoon TV funny-man
Steve Harvey

got the sleeve of his zoot suit caught in an escalator.

How is that news?

How come he doesn't
"beep-boop" anymore?

Who cares?

Look how he gets
in the corners.

Dusty...

Here, boy!

Ah, he only responds
to "Suck-Bot,"

and you know
you want to say it.

[♪♪♪]

That angle
is way too steep.

Eyes off!

You've already
ruined one zip-line.

You're not getting your
kid gloves on this one.

At least use
a safety cord.

[scoffs] We don't need
a stupid safety cord.

Now, three
loop-de-loops

seems a bit...
pedestrian.

What say we
ramp 'er up to 37?

38.

Odd numbers
are unlucky.

[grunts]

Are you crazy?

Are you trying
to get him killed?

Relax.

Everything
is 100% safe.

How many alligators
you think we can fit

into a six-foot tank?

Four, max.

Where's he gonna
get alligators?

[scraping]

Where you going with that--

Ooh... is that
a Frostenvaas?

Thanks to your partner,

we have to take it...
to the dump.

The dump, huh?

That's a hell of a push.

Looks like a decent
fridge, though.

I know!

All she needs is a door hinge,
a new motor and coolant system,

and she'd be good as new.

Instead,

we have to shell out
20 bucks in dump fees.

[grumbles]

20 bucks, hey?

[chuckling in satisfaction]

Five, ten...

What's this?

I know!

A Frostenvaas.

You know anything about
Dutch coolant systems?

You're turning
the police station

into a garbage dump.

You're the one who shut down
the trading system

on Main Street.

Selfish.

I told people

they could ditch
their stuff here

for half price,

so we get that money,
plus all the goods.

What are we going to do
with a...

Actually, this is
a pretty sweet bean bag chair.

Oh, my god,
Karen...

Wagon lamp!

Emma!

Oh, hello, Sucky.

Still hard
at work, I see.

[robotic male voice]
I aim to clean.

You want a treat, huh?

Ooh, lint. [chuckles]

You like lint, right?

Huh,
still hungry?

Uh, let's see
what--

Ow!

Ow!

What are you-- Ow!

I don't see a problem.

Oh, sure,
he's fine now.

Ten minutes ago, he was
lunchin' on my loafers.

What's going on?

Wanda's robot
tried to kill me.

Okay, but look
how clean the carpet is.

Turn him back the way he was.

Less kill-y.

More... nibble-y.

This version
actually works.

If it randomly
attacks you,

that's a sacrifice
I'm willing to make.

Perhaps I need to
dial 'er back a scootch.

Now, was that
a left turn, or...

pretty sure it was right.

There we go.

Happy happy?

Great.

I see by the nightmare
on the wall...

it's time for me to go.

Enjoy the sucking.

This scale model will show us

exactly how the zip-trip's
gonna go down.

This little guy,

our thrill-seeking hero,

ziplines from the top
of the elevator here,

down to Corner Gas,

buys a bag of chips,
everyone loves him,

best day of his life.

But it gets better.

For a dramatic flair

we could light the cable
on fire, like so...

[yelping]

Okay... [coughing]

Minor hiccup.

[coughing]

Now we know how much kerosene
is too much kerosene.

We should probably
eliminate kerosene

and/or flames
from the equation altogether.

[groans]
Fine! No fire.

Might overshadow
the crocodile pit.

Also a bad idea.

Snake pit?

Just forget the pits.

This is exactly
what happened with Lacey.

I give in and give in,

until I'm left with
the world's lamest zip-line!

It can still be cool.

We just have to
make sure nobody dies

in an angry ball
of snake fire.

That happened
over a minute ago,

and you're still
harping on it?

You know what? I'm out!

I'm done
taming down my genius

to please other people!

To quote Evel Knievel,
"Watch this!"

And to also quote
Evel Knievel,

"Hey, look, I've broken
every bone in my body 20 times!"

[♪♪♪]

Okay, this ends now.

All right,
half day!

No, I mean all this.

How are people supposed to take
our police force seriously

when the office looks like
an episode of Hoarders?

An early episode!

Before it got all Hollywood.

It's not all junk.

These headphones are like new.

The turntable's
not even spinning.

Oh yeah, that's broken.

Take this stuff to the dump
where it belongs.

Except maybe this lava lamp...

and these beer steins.

It was nice
while it lasted, fellas.

This is gonna cost a fortune
in dump fees.

There may be another way...

What charity
are we supporting?

H.A.

Hells Angels need money?

Hoarders Anonymous.

[chuckles]

I used to have
a western lamp set

just like this.

Didn't think it was
worth five bucks.

A lamp set this nice?

Worth 30, easy.

I'll take it.

[rustling]

You hear that?

Is that New Dusty?

Of course not.

He's sound asleep
in his charging thing.

Uh-oh.

[distant whirring]

[robotic voice]:
I aim to clean.

He's hungry.

Give him some lint.

Oh, for cryin' out--

Here.

Now, leave us alone!

[laser buzzing]

[banging on door]

Help me, woman!

[banging stops]

Are you sure--

[whispering]
Quiet!

You be quiet.

Okay, you go that way.

I'm not going that way.
You go that way.

[robotic voice]:
Refuse. Remove.

Source of refuse.

Destroy.

-[screaming]
-Gotcha!

[grunting] Yeah...

What have you got to say
for yourself now, robot?

Tom Cruise was seen
walking his new puppy

outside a Hollywood
yogurt shop.

How is that news?

[♪♪♪]

Have you seen
Hank recently?

I'm worried.

What if he's at the
bottom of some valley

with a broken neck?

Or stranded
50 feet in the air?

Holding a "Yikes" sign?

Look, Hank has
the attention span

of a drunk trout.

I'm sure he's moved on
to whatever's next on his--

Ooh!

What's this?

Hey, people of Earth!

Ta-da!

He built all this
in one afternoon?

It's amazing
what you can accomplish

when you throw safety
out the window.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Hank!

Don't jump!

What?

I can't hear you!

You will die!

I know you love pie!

Stay focussed!

Okay, here I go!

But don't worry.

I took all the precautions.

Even got a safety line.

Whatever you do,
don't jump!

I can't hear you!

I'll just jump down there

so we can have
this conversation in person!

[rings bicycle bell]

Guantanamo!

No!

[screams]

Now I'm caught on
your stupid safety cord!

It looks like
he's caught up

on your stupid safety cord.

He was supposed to
attach it to the wire,

not the building.

I guess you'd better
go help him.

Or I could go.

Are you sure we
have to do this?

He's not the same
appliance he once was.

He's gone viral.

No, he's my vacuum.

I'll do it.

[tearfully]
Goodbye, Dusty.

I hope the floors of heaven
are thick with angel dust.

[sparking]

Hmm, does this TV work?

With some rabbit ears
and a little side-slappin',

you get three
whole channels.

I don't care
about the channels.

I need something for gaming.

How much for the beanbag chair?

How did that
get out here?

Fitzy said we had
to get rid of everything.

Five bucks.

Sold!

What?

No, I'll give you 10.

20.

Well, perhaps Michelle
would like to know

why you really missed
your anniversary.

Remind me,

were you saving
a bus full of orphans?

Or were you locked
in the drunk tank

for picking a fight

with a bus full of orphans?

You can have it.

Stupid orphans.

I'll give you
a hard-knock life.

Gotta get this baby home

before one of these vultures
makes off with it.

Come on...

[grunting]

Get in there!

Oh, hello.

We've got sad news.

Can we come in?

Uh... kind of a bad time.

Why don't you just send
a lengthy text?

[robotic beeping]

What was that?

Nothing.

My dishwasher.

It makes an adorable sound
when it's finished.

Be right there... Sudsy!

Bullhorn!

I'd know that bleep-bloop
anywhere.

[robotic warble]

Dusty!

You're alive!

[crying with joy]

Come here, boy...

Hey!

[laughing]

Hungry as ever.

What are you trying
to pull, Missy?

All right,
you deserve the truth.

The thing is...

you're both
hallucinating right now.

Aliens have abducted you
and planted false memories--

The truth.

All right,
I kept him for myself.

He's just so cute,

I couldn't let him go.

So I built a new one
and passed him off as Dusty.

That monstrosity of yours
tried to kill us!

We had to drown him
in the river.

We're taking Dusty home.

No! Please!
He loves it here.

You can have my kid.

I suppose we could share.

I've had him
for eight years.

I've done all I can.

I meant the vacuum.

Oh.

Just give us
one more night together.

You just spent
two days with him!

I know, but I want
more than two days--

[all arguing
and talking at once]

[beeping warble]

What's going on?

Oh, Brent's just
trying to save Hank

from falling
to his death.

Falling?

I always imagined
Hank would die

by steamroller.

Whoa-kay...

Wow, this is...

Boy, you're really up here.

[chuckles] Yeah,
people look like ants.

And you can't see
the ants at all.

Okay, don't
worry, buddy.

I'll have you
back to safety

in a jiff.

Then I can kill you
for making me do this.

There!

[panting]

I thought
you were a goner.

[chuckles] Yeah,

that safety line
was a stupid idea.

Thanks, buddy.

Here I go!

Whoo!

No!

[crowd gasps] Oh no!

Hank is gonna die!

See if we can
get a selfie

with his point of impact
in the background.

Oh, wait,
there's Karen!

With a beanbag chair
on her roof,

for some incredibly
serendipitous reason.

♪ Bean-bag-a-loo-la

♪ She's my bean bag

♪ Bean-bag-a-loo-la--

What the hell!
[brakes screech]

[beeping warble]

Aw...

Whoo!

[crowd gasps]

Ha!

You all thought
I was gonna die!

But I'm totally fine.

[crowd sighs in disappointment]

Oh, my god,
that was amazing.

Told ya, safety's
my middle name.

Wow, he made it.

Huh, I guess he did
think this through.

[rope snaps]

Or not.

Hey!

[whoosh]

[glass shatters, diners scream]

My middle name
is actually Henry.

Helloo!

Little help up here!

Geez, he really
loves pie.

Actually,
he's saying he's fine,

and he wants us
to go get a drink.

[♪♪♪]

I miss Dusty so much.

Wanda's out looking
for him now.

I wonder
what he's doing.

[♪♪♪]

[bubbling]

[laser buzzing]

[robotic voice]:
Destroy.

Hey, Chrome-hole!

Come get some.

[sparks hiss]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

♪ I don't know

♪ The same things
you don't know ♪

♪ I don't know

♪ I just... don't know

♪ Ooh

♪ It's a great big place

♪ Ooh

♪ Full of nothin' but space

♪ Ooh

♪ And it's my happy place