All language subtitles for Black.Monday.S03E01.TEN.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

upbeat music

Ooh

It's Showtime tonight

Previously on Black Monday...

They're Skants by Pfaffashions.

[Larry] My brother Lenny
survived Black Monday

only to tragically
succumb to injuries.

We're in this
together now, brother.

Newly elected congressman

in scandalous behavior.

[Newell] I urge Governor Putnam
to fill the vacant seat

by appointing Blair Pfaff
the next congressman.

Black Monday
was my fucking idea.

[person] Someone confessed
to Black Monday.

I'm gonna get you
out of this fucking place.

Momo, you still don't get it.

I don't need you at all.

One, two, three.

I don't know, Brucie.

I think that 67's
a little too bright

for the tenor.

Tell you what,
let's switch back to the 47.

I'm kind of missing
that nice mid-forward growl.

Okay.

Don't touch the board, Mo.

Yep.

upbeat music

Motherfucker, fill my order
or your ass is grass,

and I am
the fucking nigga-saurus!

Inmate!
-What?

I got the supplies
you asked for.

Drop it.

Trish, where the fuck
are my earnings?

What the fuck are you doing?

Sue, the job is called runner,
not walker.

Why are you always
fucking walking?

Um, well, I got you.

Think it might be time
to sell that Nintendo stock

you put me in.
It already doubled.

No, no, no, the shit
is gonna triple, all right?

They're coming out with a new
portable video gaming system

called the Game Boy.
It's gonna be huge.

If it's portable,
shouldn't it be small?

What?
Huge as in popular.

Just trust me, okay?

The day I started
handling your money

is the day you started
handling a lot more

top-shelf ass, am I right?

-That's true.
-Am I right?

-That's true.
-All right.

Now, who does a bitch
have to shiv

to get a hot pastrami on rye

from Carnegie's
up in here, okay?

-On it.
-Get on it.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't worry about it.

I actually enjoy sitting here
holding my breath

with my dick in my hand
like Mike Hutchence!

Robert Palmer's
"Simply Irresistible"

How can it be permissible?

She compromised
my principle

Yeah, yeah

She's a craze
you'd endorse

She's a powerful force

You're obliged
to conform

When there's
no other course

She used
to look good to me

But now I find her...

Tiff, do you know where
my Hermès pocket square is?

How the fuck should I know?
Ask Rosa.

Simply irresistible

Forget it.

I cannot be late for the train.
I have a very big day today.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Get right back here.
Now.

Is that a new suit?

-Yes, why?
-That's weird.

I don't recall signing off
on any new purchases.

Well, I'm sorry.

It's just everyone on the hill

is wearing Donna Karan
this session.

I don't care
what they're wearing.

I care what you're making,
which, last I checked,

is an embarrassing 45k a year.

I'm not sure it's appropriate

for you to be just buying
designer duds willy-nilly.

Come on.

Pfaffashions is on pace
to make 11 mil this year.

-The fuck do you care?
-Fine, keep the suit.

I'll just take it out
of next month's allowance.

What?

You bought Giancarlo
six bespoke tracksuits.

And a Kawasaki Ninja.

-Vroom, vroom.
-Mm, mm, mm.

Okay, you know what?
Stay out of it, Giancarlo.

Little late for that,
am I right?

-Yeah.

Whoo!
Oh!

Blair, as long
as I make the money,

I wear the pants--

present circumstance excluded,
'kay?

-Have fun playing politics.
Vroom.

You know what?
For the last time,

it's very noble stuff
that I'm up to, okay?

There's no greater honor
than public service, Giancarlo.

Found your pocket square, bub.

-I'm going.

Ooh, what a coincidence.

I'm coming!

All right, guys,
"What Are You Doing

the Rest of Your Life" take 37.

Guess I'll be doing
this shit the rest of my life.

-Excuse me?

Nah.

Yeah, it's better.
It's better, right, Yaya?

I don't know.
Uh, maybe 86 the 75-309.

What?
There's no mic 7530--

Oh.

867-5309.
Jenny.

You should have gone
with 777 93-11,

but I keep forgetting
you're half white, so...

I am Black and Palestinian,
and I've told you that

every single week
since we've met.

Look, did you
get the thing or not?

Yep.

Great.

So you're really
going all in, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Bought the ring,
closed down the house.

Yeah.

Oh, speaking of which,
do you think that she

would like pile carpets
or Berber carpets better?

I can't decide.
-You know, hos like Berber.

Bruce, do you fucking mind?
I'm gonna marry this ho.

Just turn some knobs
or something.

Homey, the house on its own
is already a giant swing,

and now you're gonna
decorate that motherfucker

-without her input?
-Goddamn right.

Every other guy your age,
they're getting sports cars,

and they're, like,
plowing hookers,

and you're moving
to the suburbs?

It's--sounds like
a cry for help.

Well, listen, I've already
had every toy, okay?

And every hooker
from high-class

-to John Lee.
-What?

Quitting Wall Street
was a blessing.

Well, technically
you were kicked off

for decades of transgressions.

The point is,
I don't want to be

about transgressions anymore.

I want to be
about progressions,

both of the life
and the chord variety.

It's time for me to start
making more than just money.

Damn, that was stupid
and beautiful.

You're right.
I should pick the drapes first.

'Cause they say
they're supposed

to match the carpet,
am I right?

-You doing a pube joke?
Doing a pube joke.

-Pubes.
-Pubes!

-My man.

Frankly, I would kill

to have my company taken public

by the Leighman Brothers.

I don't think
that's the end of the sentence.

-Oh.
-But...

No, he's not finished.

I am much less confident
in the Leighman Brother

and whatever you are.

Okay, well, this one again.

Look, I know there's a lot
of nasty theories out there

that Lenny was the brains
of the operation,

but that couldn't
be further from the truth.

The fact is that he was
a little bit of an imbecile.

He was fucking worthless.

Okay, he had
some redeeming qualities.

Not many.

And then he got
crushed by a car,

and he died right then
and not a moment after.

Yeah, it's not like
he lived for a year

and then was taken out

to the woods
and eaten by wolves.

Don't--nobody said that.

Okay, I was just saying--

You're just putting that
into his head.

That's a hypothetical.

Next thing, he's gonna say,
there's a Frankenstein room

right behind that wall where
we kept him for some time.

-Which there's not.
-But that's not true.

Okay, sure, but look.

Since you took the helm,

you guys have been
repeatedly embarrassed.

-Ah.
-Hm, uh-oh.

-Okay, Jerry.

-May I call you Jerry?
-My name's Harold.

-Yes, but may I call you Jerry?
-It's a term of endearment.

He calls me Jerry.

That's why we got Jerry here.

-He's a fucking genius, okay?
-I am.

Jerry's even more Lenny-er
than Lenny ever was.

My job is to bring

the Leighman Brothers
into the '90s.

I want you to come with us.

Because if it looks
like a Leighman,

and it sounds like
a Leighman...

And it smells
like a Leighman.

All right, I hate that cologne.

Chances are...

Except you don't look
or sound like one.

You are not a Leighman.

You are a--

I'm trying to think of
a less offensive word than...

-Don't say it.
-Jew.

-Oh.
-Said it.

Okay.

I'm sorry, gentlemen.
Thank you for your time.

Wow.
I've heard worse.

-I've said worse.

We'll get 'em next time.

soaring orchestral music

Hey.

Blair Pfaff.

Hey, Congressman,
guess where I am.

I don't know, hell?
Fingers crossed.

No, no, but close.

I'm in your old Honda.

You know, when I took
this thing off you,

I had no intention
of actually driving it.

I was just trying
to big time you.

Life's kind of funny, huh?

Yeah, I remember you said
you didn't want a shitty Honda.

You wanted my shitty Honda
to use as a toilet.

And I meant it.

Say what you want
about the Japanese,

and Lord knows I have--
I mean, I grew up

on the Warner Brothers
cartoons--

but I gotta tell you.

They make one hell
of a reliable automobile.

Okay, is this why you called?
Because I'm very busy.

No, listen.

-Did you get what I asked for?
-That depends.

Did you get what I asked for?

Yeah.
Now come on.

Get this thing done, all right?
You said you got the juice.

The juice?

Please, Mo,
I am a kingmaker, okay?

As well as a king myself.

You know,
that's kingmaker 101 stuff

is you make yourself
a king first.

It's like, you know, wishing

for more wishes
and that kind of thing.

The fuck are you talking about,
Blair?

Did you get it done or not?

Okay, I got a hell of a lot
riding on this.

Oh, oh, I can't hear you.

The walls are so thick in here.

-[Mo] Pfaff, Pfaff, Pfaff.
-Beep.

Jesus Christ.

Yes.

-Good morning, Werner.
-Mm-hmm.

-Any messages?
-Nope.

Governor Putnam didn't return?

Oh, sorry,
I thought you were joking

when you asked me
to call him again.

I told you we're tight.
He's just been very busy.

They tapped him
to be the head of the RNC.

Cool.

-Um, Pastor Swaford did call.
-Nah, nah, nah.

That man is dead to me.

So what is on the schedule
for today?

Um, okay, well, there's a big
House Oversight meeting...

Oh.

That you weren't asked to join.

And then there's
the Ways and Means Committee...

Super fun.

That you also
weren't asked to join.

Okay, why don't we stick to
things that I was asked to join?

Of course, sorry.
Let's see here.

Ooh, ooh.
Columbia House CD Club?

What is it,
ten CDs for ten cents?

You know what?
Do it.

Senator,
what can I do you for?

That was odd.

Why do you think he just...

oh, my God.

Oh, God, what is that smell?

I believe he came in here
to fart, sir,

just like everyone does.

Yeah, I gathered that, Werner.

I can't wait until
my new office is finished

and we can get out of here
and get to work.

The governor said,
"Any day now."

Any day now, sir.

Double D.

Mm, Mo!
Hey!

-Hey, hey, girl.
Hey.

Mmm.

Brought your
favorite sandwiches.

Oh, my goodness, yes.

-For later, I guess.
Thank you.

Shit, didn't know
you already ate.

-Lobster, not bad.
-Yeah, yeah.

Well, we can give this shit
to the guards and gangs,

keep 'em from fucking with you.

I've been missing Carnegie's
since I got in here.

Looks like you're doing
pretty good, huh?

It's funny,
I get way more respect in here

than I ever did on the outside.

-Hm.

But come on, fill me in.

-What's happening in the world?
-Oh.

I heard DeBarge
is trying to cross over

to more white folks by changing
their name to "The Barge"?

-This is true.
-Oh, no!

You know what's really hot
on the street right now?

Interior design.

-For real?
-Everybody's talking about it.

For instance,
what's your opinion

on Berber versus pile carpet?

Uh, isn't the carpet
supposed to match the drapes?

That's what I said!

I've been in here so long,

the carpet is a pile.
You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I do, and if I didn't,
the gestures really helped.

No, you don't have
to keep--yeah.

Oh, something else--
countertops.

Yeah, it's like a gang war
out there, you know?

It's like
Prince versus Michael.

-Mm.
-Granite versus marble.

-Pick a side.
-Yeah, yeah.

No, babe, pick a side.

Oh, um, uh,

granite feels
way more contemporary.

-Are you okay, Mo?
-Yes, yeah.

I'm actually better than okay.

I've never been better
in my life,

and it's all because of you.

These little visits
over the last couple months

have really helped me
to focus my shit.

Really, Mo?

Because that's been
the best part of this

for me too, you know?

I mean, I think
it's the first time

that we've ever really
just talked.

Yeah, and without the pressure
of us working with each other.

Or against each other.

I mean, if the fucking
wasn't fucking up our job,

then our job
was fucking up the fucking.

Exactly.

My only regret is that I didn't
figure it out a lot sooner.

Mm.

Well, I mean,
I got a couple other regrets.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm riddled with regrets.

But, you know,
I've got regrets too.

But it's never too late,
you know, I guess.

I hope.

-Yeah.

Visiting hours are now over.

Visitors,
please exit immediately.

Prisoners,
return to your cell blocks.

Okay, well...

Okay.

Don't you get too comfortable
in here, inmate,

'cause something tells me
that you are gonna be able

to fix any regrets
that you have very soon.

Wait, what?

No, no.
What are you up to?

-Huh?
-I told you.

I don't need your ass
to get me out of here.

-Okay, okay.
-No, I don't need your help.

-Dawn.
-I can take care of myself.

-I'm serious, Mo.
-Dawn!

upbeat music

Go away.
No one's home.

No speak no English,
por favor.

Chinga tu madre.

Mo, what are you doing here?
Wait, is that the thing?

Is this the thing?
Is this your fucking office?

Why isn't your office
where the offices are?

This is just temporary
until my new, phat, rad office

is done being renovated.

It just takes a second for them
to pull sauna permits in D.C.

Yeah, cool,
whatever, I don't care.

Stop blowing me off.
I got what you wanted.

Now give Dawn her pardon.

Did those two ladies
just come in here to fart?

No.

Look, I have decided,
unfortunately,

not to do the pardon for Dawn.

Wait a minute, why?

Mo, do you know
how fishy it would look

if I pardoned
my crooked ex-business partner

right after I took office?

I mean, I'm a very
important congressman.

And if you'll look to my right,
you'll see

one of the most famous
congressional closets

in history dating back
to the early 1900s.

Legend has it that
this very closet was where JFK

and Marilyn Monroe
would sneak off to to fart.

-Boy.

If these walls could smell.

What the Pfaff, fuck?

Listen, we had a deal.

I got the thing.
You give me Dawn's pardon.

I can't.

Blair, you don't understand.
I have huge plans that hinge--

You had plans?
I had plans,

and they all went up in coke
that you planted on me,

so don't talk to me
about plans.

Can I get you an Evian
or a cup of water or any--

Blair, this isn't about us,
all right?

Our relationship
is fucking totaled,

but that doesn't mean
that Dawn deserves

to stay in prison for--

Deserves?

You of all people should know
that's not how the world works.

Christ, you're dumber
than I thought--

-Give me that fucking pardon!
-I can't.

Why not?

Because my office
is a fucking fart closet!

I literally can't, okay?

I have no power here
whatsoever.

Everyone on the Hill hates me
as do all of my constituents

for the same reason--
I was appointed to,

not elected to a seat
that was vacated by a man

I essentially fucked to death!

This whole job blows,
and not in a good way.

Well, at least you didn't
fuck over everybody you know

-in order to get here.
-My whole life is dog shit.

Tiff has me on an allowance,
not because we're on a budget,

just because
she loves humiliating me.

She has
this whole cuckold fetish.

Huh, maybe we should
slide through, huh?

I've worked my ass off
my whole life,

and yet here I am
working for 45k a year,

and she's running

the fastest growing
fashion company on Earth.

Literally, their only problem

is coming up
with enough capital

to keep up with their demand.

People in the industry
are calling her "Jeansus."

Well,
look on the bright side, kid.

This place may not be a sauna,

but at least
you're getting hotboxed.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to burn these clothes

and puke
and then go beg for help

from the last fucking people

I ever wanted
to beg for help from

because it turns out

you're a cuckold
in congress too.

-Peace, bitch.
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I need this.
I need this, Mo.

-Please, I need this.
-Blair, let go.

-Please give it to me.
-Let go!

Please, everyone on the Hill

has one of these
Halliburton briefcases...

-Get off!
-And Tiff won't buy me one!

Move.

Jesus Christ, son of a--

-You have to step--
-I know what I'm doing.

You don't have to tell me how
to get out of a fucking office.

Ah, I don't know, Lar.

Come on, you could be
a goddamn knockout.

This doctor's a genius.
He did Cher.

Not that it matters
who he fucked,

but Cher would never date
a mediocre plastic surgeon.

-I mean, is "the full Face/
-Off"
really necessary?

Keithy, if it's
the Leighman Brothers

the world wants,
it's the Leighman Brothers

they'll get, and besides,

this is just
a minor technicality

so you and I can focus
on our company

getting back on top.

I mean, I guess
I always hated my chin.

Who didn't?
That's the spirit.

Come on, now.
All right.

Now, let's talk
foreskin restoration surgery.

Wait, what?
I'm sorry?

Oh, off-color remark!

What the fuck just happened?

Shit, I don't know.

Jesus Christ, I've done that
a million times before.

-I must have--
-Gotten old?

Oh, fuck you.

Yeah, why don't you
elevate and ice, gramps?

How convenient.
That's a good idea.

Not in the oysters, stop.

No, no, no, no,
don't take off your--oh.

God damn it.

These Malpeques
just landed from PEI.

What the fuck
do you want, Maurice?

Well, for starters,
to know what the brother fuck

is going on
between you two guys,

but we can get into that later.

I need to get Dawn
out of jail ASAP.

I know you own the joint
where she's locked up,

so how much for one of those,
you know,

overcrowding, work release,

you know, sex slave things
that you got for Keith?

Mo, the only pardoning
I'll be doing

is my French when I tell you
to fuck all the way off, okay?

Because I will never
do anything for,

or with you ever again
for the rest of my life.

Yeah, well, I guess I expected
that from you, dirtbag.

Keith, Keith, Earth to Keith.
Are you in there?

-Come on, help a brother out.
-Keith is dead.

I--well, I'm not--hold on.

Not really.
I mean, I'm--

No, no, you're dead.
Keith is dead.

The Keith you know is dead,
but you're a friend,

and I want to help a friend out,
so why don't you

take your lame leg out of
our fucking lunch and limp...

Straight to hell.

Sorry, Dawn, lights out.

Hey, uh, you mind if I just

watch A Different World
to wind down?

You know, calm my mind?

Helps clear my head
before the morning trades.

-Yeah.
-Ah, thanks, Richie.

Hey, Lydia, it's time.

Yeah.

Half skirt, half pants,

total discretion.

The Skants by Pfaffashions.

[Kadeem] If he does,
then he won't graduate.

I needs the help.

I know, but do you think
I can really do the work?

Really?

[Kadeem] It's the only reason
I came to ask you.

You know any good waxers?

I haven't been able
to find anyone

since Stoya got paroled.

Still not much
for conversation, huh?

Not that good.

I mean, look, we've been stuck
in this cell for six months.

The least you could do
is shoot the shit.

I told you my whole life story.

I made you $106,000.

Come on.
I let you go down on me.

You could've shaved.

I'm sorry.
I wasn't showered either.

I didn't expect it, you know?

Look, speaking of sex,
I mean, you gotta be excited.

I'm sure you didn't think
you'd get out so quick

after a sextuple homicide.

Social security fraud.

I'm in here
for social security fraud.

The murders are a rumor.

tense music

I mean, no, totally.

Between us,

you really did
kill all those bums, right?

You sure ask
a lot of questions, Darcy.

No, no, no, no.
I was just making small talk.

I know how
we can get Dawn out.

Yes?

-For Christ's sake.

Ever since Lenny died again,

Larry has been desperate
to make a name for himself.

Best way to do that
is to take a company public

in a big way.

Thing is,
no one's gonna touch us,

not after Black Monday--
Amerisavings,

the TBD Ponzi scheme,
and The List Goes On and On,

which is a real estate
listing company

that we acquired
that went belly-up.

Hm.

Which is why
if you can deliver us

a company that's primed
for an IPO,

and have the Leighman Brothers
underwrite it,

I guarantee you Larry
will make that call for Dawn.

-Olé.
-Oh, hi.

-Tiff.
-Mo.

So I hear you're having
a little cash flow problem.

What would you say
if you could fix it forever

while making more money
than you ever dreamed of

and cuckold Blair by the balls

by working with his most hated
rivals in the process?

I'd say...

Okay.

This could work.

Thank you for doing this
for me, Keith.

Dumb fuck,
this is not about you, okay?

This is about Dawn,
and it's about Larry.

I don't give a shit
what you've realized

or how sorry you are
because I've moved on.

I have a real friend now--
nay, a brother--

Neigh, a horse
he gave me for my birthday

to show me that he cares.

Is that why you're letting him
use you

to play weekend at Lenny's?

Yeah, well, you know what?

This, this is the price
of doing business--

big business.

I'm a partner now at
the biggest bank on the block.

The Leighman Brothers
makes the Jammer Group

look like...the Hammer group.

"Jan Hammer," the composer
of the Miami Vice theme song?

Oh, Jan Hammer.

You're mispronouncing
both of his names,

and I still don't know
what you're saying.

He was a one-hit wonder
just like you.

Oh.

And frankly,
your jealousy's embarrassing.

Keith, Keith, Keith,
wait a minute.

Listen, let's say that
I can find this killer deal.

Larry's gonna think I'm just
trying to fuck him over again.

He's never gonna trust me.

Bring me
a legitimately good deal,

and I'll make him trust you.

How?

Collateral.

Colla--you're barking up
the wrong fucking tree.

I don't own anything.

You don't own anything?

Well, Keithy told me

you had a little
passion project going on,

something that's very rewarding,

something that brings you joy, no?

Yeah, I think you said
you'd do anything

to get Dawny out,
and if you want to make a deal

with the devil,
you gotta sell your soul,

music, and all that jazz.

If Pfaffashions
goes public

without a hitch,
KokoMo Co Records stays yours.

But if it doesn't, well,
then the Leighman Brothers

become owners
of your shitty jazz label.

What do you want
with a shitty jazz label?

No, we don't want
a shitty jazz label.

We want...

Your shitty jazz label.

We're getting good at that.

I mean, it's all right.

What do you say?

Sign, sign, sign.

Eddie Murphy's
"Party All the Time"

Dickhead.

Ah, Jerome, on time
for once in your life.

All right, go ahead.

After all of the things
I've done for you

What the fuck?

Keep playing, keep playing.

And still you hang out
all night

My man.

Darcy, yeah,
she got out yesterday.

Yesterday?

My girl wants
to party all the time

How?

All I know is
my portfolio is fucked.

Good.
Dick.

Jerome, it's over.
We're done.

What happened?

I just did
the fake escape thing

until my scary-ass cellmate
got comfortable enough with me.

She confessed
to 11 hobo murders.

We flirt until he applies
for benefits to a PO box,

and then we disappear his ass.

The checks keep coming,

and nobody even knows
he's dead

'cause he's homeless.

It's a victimless crime.

[Dawn] The cops had me
record the whole thing.

Turns out, she was
the Great Neck Strangler.

Oh,
best serial killer name ever.

Ooh, ooh, ooh

To freedom, motherfuckers.

Ooh, to freedom, motherfuckers!

Hard Rs there.

-Ooh.
-Ooh.

Sad.

Who invited all these losers?

Okay, Congressman,

I got your speech
about our great state's

new small business
zoning initiative.

They're calling it,
"Get in the Zone," cute.

No, Werner,
belly buttons are cute.

Punny names for small business
zoning initiatives

fucking stink
just like this sewage plant

or my office.

Everything about this job
either literally

or figuratively stinks.

You know what?
Fuck this.

It's time I make some
major changes in my life.

I'm sick of it,

and I'm gonna start
with this speech.

I'm gonna speak from the heart.

-I don't follow.
-I'm gonna quit, Werner.

And I'm taking 'em
all down with me.

Fuck Governor Putnam.

Fuck the RNC.
Fuck 'em all!

It's time I give
this sewage plant

some real shit to process.

soft dramatic music

Mo, you came!

Oh, God, you're here?
You're out, you're here.

Yeah, I told you
I didn't need your help.

I really should've listened
to you too.

Wait, you didn't actually
try to help--

No, no, no, no, no, I did not
because you said don't,

and I wouldn't,
I respect you.

Oh, my God,
it is so great to see you.

It's so good to see you.

Dawn, there's something
I've been dying to--

Can it wait?
Mm, mm.

-Can it?
-What?

We've done enough talking.
Get your ass in here.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Congressman Blair Pfaff.

Congressman,
how do you feel about this?

[reporter] Where we join
Congressman Blair Pfaff

at the Briar Ridge Sewage--

Whoa, shit!
Did you see that?

He's been shot!

somber music