All language subtitles for Marvels.M.O.D.O.K.S01E03.WEBRip.x264-ION10.Hi

[pages riffling]

♪

[wind gusting]

♪

MODOK:
What's this?

‐ It's your utopia, MODOK.

♪

[Fin Fang Foom laughing]
MODOK: Woo! Ha ha!

Yeah! Woo‐hoo!

I did it!
I conquered the wor‐‐

[alarm blaring]

[groaning]

Shut up!
‐ Okay, so we don't need to hit me.

MODOK: [gasps] I forgot
it's my first weekend with the kids!

I can't have Jodie seeing
the apartment like this.

I‐‐ I have four hours
to whip this place into shape!

‐ You have not made
a lot of progress.

‐ Why did the killer
who lived here before us

have to be
the "Bloodstain Killer"?

The stain is so juicy.

You should be doing this.

‐ Mm. I don't do floors.

[knocking on door]
[gasps]

MODOK:
Hey, guys!

‐ Dad, this place is incredible.

Such dark hallways.

What an absolute sanctuary
for migraine‐sufferers.

‐ Uh, is this where we wait
for the shuttle

that takes us
to your apartment?

‐ No, this is the apartment.

‐ It's his funky little boho space,
and I love it!

‐ Ugh! It smells like soup here.

‐ Yes, everyone in this building makes
a lot of soup.

No matter what time of day it is.

‐ Oh, is this
original wallpaper? How‐‐

No, it's just
very intricate water damage.

It's beautiful.

‐ You're beautiful,
can I move back in?

‐ You guys, this bed Murphy's?

Wonderful.
Really opens up the room.

‐ Yes, thank you, Lou.

‐ I am loving all
these Murphy elements.

And you can hear every spring
and gear working, which I appreciate.

Okay! Am I seeing this right?

Does the toilet‐‐

Whoa! Okay.

The water just comes
right out of the toilet!

‐ Don't leave me here.
Take me with you.

‐ Sweetheart, I have to promote my book.

Besides it's your father's weekend,

and this is how
it has to work now.

God, that soup smell
is so strong,

it's like I'm in a hot chicken fog.

I have to get out of here.

[door opens, closes]

‐ Uh, just before you got here,
I heard them kill that chicken,

so you know
that soup's gonna be fresh.

Is Dad the best or what?

[gunshots]
[man screaming]

‐ Oh my god!
[siren wailing]

♪ dramatic theme playing ♪

♪

[electricity crackling]

‐ Dinner!

‐ I thought you said you were making
Mom's Enchiladas Rancheras.

‐ That's what this is.

So the itinerary for the weekend
is jam‐packed.

First off, I've always wanted to know
how water treatment facilities work.

I assume you're the same,
so I've arranged for us to have a tour

of a library where we
can read books on the subject.

After that, soup for lunch
at any of my neighbors,

then five hours
of dedicated rat‐catching time.

Heads up: there are a lot of rats,
so these will be hard hours.

[tablet beeps]

‐ Mo‐dawg!
‐ Die, corporate scum!

[rat squeaking]
Dang, it's a hologram!

Lou, track 'em! Watch where they go,
we'll get them later!

‐ Whoa, Modes, you're doing
a poverty‐themed escape room!

Hope you get out,
that place looks like it sucks!

‐ It's my let‐loose‐in‐the‐city
Pied‐à‐terre.

It's got great flow!

‐ Anyway, I'm h‐gramming you to see
why you aren't here at the airport.

‐ Wha‐‐
‐ Come on, brother!

The GRUMBL Leadership Conference.

All the executives from dozens
of GRUMBL‐owned companies

are meeting this weekend
at Boca Caliente,

the world‐famous island resort.

‐ This is the first I'm hearing
of a leadership conference.

‐ I've sent a lot of emails
to your GRUMBL account.

It goes to Outlook.

‐ I don't use Outlook.

Too cool.

‐ We can't have a leadership conference
without the great MODOK!

‐ I have my kids this weekend.

‐ Bring 'em. Come on, MODOK,
you're the guest of honor.

Tonight's the welcome reception,
and there's a keynote address

on leadership.

I cannot wait to hear
what you're going to say.

‐ Guest of honor?

Hmm, maybe that wouldn't be so bad,

for the kids to see
their dad in his element.

But things here are going
pretty great too.

‐ Rat‐Ladies, please!
[Melissa grunting]

There's plenty
of Lou to go around!

[airplane whooshing]

‐ Eh? Pretty nice, right?

‐ Wow.

‐ Melissa, can I get a "wow"
or a "whoa" or a chef's kiss?

‐ [sarcastically]
Wow!

‐ I am here.
‐ So you are!

‐ Check me in.
‐ I'd love to!

‐ He doesn't know
who you are, Dad.

You have to tell him your name.

‐ Nonsense!
He knows who I am!

‐ I am so sorry.

‐ I'm the guest of honor, Melissa.

This man doesn't need me
to tell him I'm MODOK.

MODOK!

It goes without saying!

It goes without spelling!

MODOK! M‐O‐D‐O‐K‐Not‐C!

‐ Ah, yes! Mister MODOK, sir.

‐ Ah, yes, I‐I am MODOK.

You‐you've caught me, yes.

‐ Okay, I have you
in a partial ocean view room.

‐ As requested,

I don't want to be bludgeoned all night
with deafening wave sounds.

‐ Paddle boarding,
couples cliffside massage,

a Bulgari store!

I am doing all of this.

‐ Oh sorry, I only have ones and fives.

[Lou laughing]

LOU: Whoa.

[sighs]

Holy smokes, how plush
and enticingly short are these robes?

‐ Do yourself a favor, Melly,

crane your neck out that window,
look hard right,

and take in that ocean view.

‐ Mm, yeah. I don't want to.

‐ What is your deal?
Do you not want to be here?

‐ Yeah, I don't.

I think I was
pretty clear about that.

I want to be home.
At Mom's house.

‐ This is better than Mom's house!

LOU: I'll say.

There's like three types
of moisturizer here.

I'm going to take
these shower caps now

so the maid
replenishes them tomorrow.

And that's an LLT,
Little Lou Trick.

‐ Time to go
to the welcome reception.

I have had no time to prepare
my speech on leadership,

except that I've been preparing
for it, oh, about my whole life!

‐ Dad, I want nothing more
than to support you right now,

but I need to be here.

Placing calls on the phone
that hangs above the toilet.

I'm so sorry.

‐ Fine! Melissa, let's go.

‐ I'm staying here.

LOU: Time to test these sheets
on my young, naked body.

‐ There's food downstairs, right?

[indiscernible conversations]

Whoa, there's actually some
pretty big players at this thing.

That's Goose Brunton!

He and seven friends
co‐founded Pufugugu,

the app where you take
a picture of your food,

and a filter puts
buzzing flies around it

to make your food look like
a steaming pile of crap.

GRUMBL just bought them
for a hundred billion dollars.

‐ What?
‐ How many billions did AIM go for?

‐ Oh, waiter!
Uh, more mushroom tartlets?

I've already eaten, like, 30 of these.

‐ Yes, I know.

‐ Dad, who are they?

‐ The GRUMBL Board of Directors.
Extremely powerful.

If I'm ever gonna get AIM back,
[eats noisily]

it's imperative that I impress them‐‐

[choking, coughing]

‐ The presentation is about to begin.

We'll have a small word
from a special celebrity guest

then the welcome address to kick off
the leadership conference.

You ready, MODOK?

‐ Completely.
Melissa, take my plate to our table.

Ah‐ah‐ah!
And these short rib sliders.

Oh, this is going to slay.

This is amazing!

ANNOUNCER:
To introduce tonight's speaker,

we have the one and only,
the wickedly talented,

Mister Tony Stark.
[crowd cheering]

‐ Die, Scum Man!

[cheering continues]

Crap, it's a hologram.

‐ While I've accepted
GRUMBL's significant appearance fee,

I do not endorse
your loathsome conglomerate.

Uh, in fact, I send
my hologram as my proxy

because I am,
at this very moment, actively working

to dismantle your whole
disgusting company.

‐ He's talking about us.
That's so cool.

‐ And now,
for our welcome address,

someone we all respect so much
and look up to‐‐

‐ The Dictionary defines "leader" as‐‐
‐ Me!

[crowd cheering]
‐ Wait, what did you say?

‐ I'm giving the leadership address.

[gasps]
Oh, did you think you were giving it?

[crowd laughs]
‐ You‐you‐you said there's a speech.

You said "I can't wait to hear
what you're going to say!"

‐ About my speech.
I love feedback.

[cheering, applauding]

‐ But... I'm the guest of honor.

‐ I see the confusion.

You're not here
to teach leadership, MODOK.

You're here to learn it.

You're the guest of honor, yes,
which means you're the guest

we're most honored
to see improved.

[crowd laughing]

[laughter continues]

[chuckles]
‐ Okay, hugely embarrassing,

but I think I've maintained
some dignity.

‐ Mr. MODOK! I asked but unfortunately
hotel management said

there's no wiggle room
on our policy.

You cannot go in the hot tub

if you've had diarrhea
in the past 14 days.

[crowd laughs]
‐ Why are you doing this now?

‐ I took it as far up the chain
as I could.

I asked everyone.
I used your name.

I said "Mr. MODOK's got diarrhea,"
that's what I said!

‐ I'm gonna blast a hole
to the Earth's core

and raise up a volcano!

Oh, we'll see how hard
everyone's laughing

with their mouths full of lava!

‐ Dad, that's just what
they want you to do.

‐ Of course. These sickos.

They want to be melted into goo.
They get off on it!

‐ No, I mean they're trying
to make you throw a fit and act out.

In front of The Board.

‐ The Board.
I have to impress them.

They're my only chance
of getting rid of Austin.

‐ Actually, I keep thinking about it,

and I think, like, this whole thing
is a setup from Austin.

Using an email account
he knew you wouldn't check,

the misleading phrasing
of his last‐minute invitation.

It's exactly the kind of slick gaslight
I would pull.

It's like when my friend Roxanne
wore purple, my color, forbidden,

so I made her think
she was going insane

by hiring a guy
to dress as Grimace

and stand
in her bedroom window at night.

She hates purple now, by the way.

‐ I see.

These wicked games,
you know them better than I do.

You need to help me!

‐ I already helped you
by telling you not to do a volcano.

‐ More help! Bigger help!

To force these people to like me
and crave my approval!

[sighs]

‐ I'll help you on one condition:

I don't have to spend weekends
at your place anymore.

‐ Sure, sure, sure, anything.

‐ And you have to do
whatever I tell you.

I'm in charge.

‐ Oh yeah, boss.
MELISSA: Okay.

So if we want to undo
what just happened,

we're gonna have to start
by playing nice with people.

‐ You got it, chief. Nice.

‐ Care to join us
for Horse Golf tomorrow, MODOK?

‐ Not in one million years, suit.
Now creep away.

‐ Actually... we'd love to.

‐ You heard her,
we're looking forward to it immensely.

Now walk away,
knowing that your kind invitation

has made you
forever dear to me!

MELISSA:
Alright, Dad.

We'll have these execs eating out
of your hand by the end of this,

but you gotta be friendly,
you gotta be fun.

‐ Today, this mental organism
is designed only for kibitzing.

‐ MODOK! You made it.

Who is this?
‐ My caddy!

Who I've... never seen before in my life?

‐ Mm‐mm, no.
‐ Oh, we're not lying about that.

It‐it's my daughter.
My caddy is my daughter.

‐ Right. Well, let's pick our horses
and get started.

[neighs]

‐ Look at the paws
on that Clydesdale! Dibs!

Don't worry, boy, my legs
are locked in all around you.

I'm not going anywhere.

[neighing]

‐ Uh, before we tee off,

did you have any opening remarks
for us, MODOK?

[laughing]

Oh relax, big guy.
It's a joke.

[neighs]

MAN: Oh, that's a perfect shot.

‐ I don't know how to play
this ridiculous game, Melly.

‐ Don't worry about playing well.
That's not what we're doing today.

‐ Oh.
What are we doing today?

‐ Figuring out their weaknesses,

then using that against them
to make them crave your approval.

Take him:
If you really focus,

he'll tell you
what buttons to push.

Bingo.

He's lost weight,
but he's still self‐conscious about it.

‐ So I should call him fat. Genius.

‐ [chuckles]
No.

Ask the other two how they stay
in such good shape.

‐ [gasps]
That's so mean.

‐ How do you two do it?
You're so trim!

You make guys like us look bad.

[laughing]

MELISSA:
She waxes between her eyebrows.

‐ Hey, I have tweezers
in my chair, by the way.

‐ What, why?

MELISSA: When other people make jokes,
he gets anxious that he's not funny.

‐ Oh, you're salt of the Earth, my friend.

It's nice being around someone
who isn't always on.

[neighs]
[splashes]

‐ His name is Brad,
call him Ben.

Point out how hard she's trying.

Take a low‐angle group photo
of everyone

to make them uneasy.

And stop waving that thing
so close to my face!

God.

You've broken them, Dad.
Now they'll flock to you.

‐ Oh, they were playing
horseless golf.

I mean, are we cavemen?
Am I in the Savage Land right now?

‐ We gotta hang
at the party tonight!

‐ You have to be there or we'll die!

‐ Just relax. I'll be there.

[indiscernible conversations]

‐ Yeah, I have your two cribs
and the trundle bed you ordered.

‐ Bellisima.

Okay. Now is there anything else
that I can get brought to the room

that I might not know about?

‐ We offer complimentary wheelchairs,
I guess.

‐ Oh, Lou wanty.

I'll take as many as you can fit
in Bedworld!

Mom's on TV!

HOST: Jodie!

Let's talk about your book.

Love it,

but as a single father
with two demon baby hands,

I have to say,
I had a hard time holding it.

Any tips out there
for other people like me?

‐ Well, you'll just have
to buy the audiobook.

[laughing]
[demon babies crying]

Oh my god.
[audience boos]

‐ Shut up! It's fine!
It's a demon!

‐ You look lovely, my caddy.
‐ Shut up.

‐ Shall we?
[Melissa giggles]

MAN: Hey, MODOK!

‐ Hey, look at me, MODOK!
‐ Ooh, ooh, MODOK!

‐ I did it.

I played the social game,
and now I won.

Surely they'll demand I perform
my speech from yesterday.

That'll impress
my soon‐to‐be BFFs,

The Board!

What?

This is an outrage.

‐ What are you doing?

You can't just try to blast
all your problems away.

You're playing
the long game now.

‐ I don't want to!

‐ You said you'd listen to me!

We'll get your stupid company back, okay!

[gasps]
Whoa, it's the shrimp toast man!

‐ Hey everybody! What up?
[crowd cheers]

Hey! I love this!

‐ Well, I hate the long game.

I need a fast and splashy plan
to make everyone love me.

Brain time!

GRUMBL doubts my ability to lead.

And I know from a second visit
to the dictionary

that leaders are often found
in times of crisis.

Ergo, if a crisis happened here,

I could rescue everyone
and assert myself

as a leader in record time.

And since I remembered to pack
my portable portal device,

it should be child's play to summon
a nasty alien to the party.

Another successful Brain Time complete.

Lots of dangerous alien worlds,
but which one is right for me?

Too slimy. Too sexy.

Having a big head is my thing.

Ahh, the Brood.

Crazy scary, scary crazy,

and susceptible
to my mind blasts.

This will do nicely.

[creature roaring]

♪ funky club music playing ♪

‐ Where were you?
‐ Where was I?

I was‐‐ Wait, what's happening?

[record scratches]

[all gasp]

It's some kind of portal!

‐ Did you do something?
Are you trying an unapproved plan?

‐ Melly, no!

Some maniac's opened a portal
to the Brood world!

Austin, mindblast them
with your jewel!

What? You can't?
You don't have one?

Don't worry, I'll save us!

[all gasp, woman screams]

‐ Hey, party people!
You like to get down?

'Cause we sure do!
♪ dance music playing ♪

‐ What the [bleep].

That's not the Brood.

I connected to the Brood world,
why did I get... Ciegrimites?

"Snail‐like anthropoids.
Master distillers. Hedonists."

‐ What... what are you?

‐ We're the Ciegrimites, baby!

‐ Ooh, ooh, ooh,
look at me dance!

‐ Tonight is what it means
to be alive!

‐ Are you... dangerous?

‐ Not at all.

And I can prove it.

CIEGRIMITE:
The proof is in the pudding, y'all!

‐ Yes!

♪

Yes! Yes! Yes!

‐ We have to party
with these things right now!

‐ Woo‐hoo!
[all cheering]

[moaning]

‐ These creatures are amazing!

‐ Great news, everyone,
you can have sex with them!

[Ciegrimite grunts affirmatively]

CIEGRIMITE:
Oh yeah!

‐ What a brilliant stroke
of fun‐making leadership.

Austin, did you do this?

‐ It was me!
I brought them here!

I am the one responsible
for this party of the century!

[cheering]

‐ Thanks for ignoring my advice
and lying to me about it.

‐ It was time to be bold, Melly!

You'll understand when you're older,
the long game is for suckers!

[sighs]
I have a party to lead.

How we doing?
Having fun I hope?

Hey, MODOK just wants you
to have a good time,

that's my name,
this is my party,

I brought the aliens.

Should I order pizzas?

Hey, DJ! Play One Headlight

'cause Austin's being
a real wallflower!

But don't actually!
It'll kill the party!

‐ Over here!

‐ Beach ball, yeah!
‐ I want to slap that thing!

CIEGRIMITE: Whee!

CROWD: Aww!
‐ I'll get it!

The party continues!
CIEGRIMITE: Oh yeah!

[groans]

‐ The Brood world.

So I did connect
to the right planet.

Uh, little help.
‐ Listen closely,

the Ciegrimites‐‐
‐ Are great?

‐ They never tire,
they never stop partying.

‐ Oh, the best. So fun.

‐ Until every living thing is dead.

[groaning]

‐ I can't believe she didn't pop it.

These guys killed the Brood?

They just don't seem dangerous.

‐ I... I gotta catch my breath.
‐ Limbo! Limbo!

Lower!
‐ Well, okay, let's go for it!

[bones crack, screams]

‐ You call that low?
‐ Come on!

♪

‐ Well, looks like I got
this beach ball for nothing.

Also, oh shit!

CIEGRIMITE: I want this night
to go on forever!

‐ Oh, my favorite song!

‐ I love this jam!

[laughing]

‐ Uh‐oh.

This party went from total blowout
to total diaper blowout!

Hey, why don't you go up
to your room, bud?

Call it a night?

‐ [crying]
I'm gonna dance forever.

‐ Oh yeah!

P‐p‐p‐p‐party foul!

‐ Oh, and of course
The Board sees all!

Although maybe they like this party
where everyone's dying?

Dang! Okay, it's blasting time.

Hey, Ciegrimites!

You love the nightlife!
You've got to boogie!

On the disco... of death!

‐ Ohhh! That felt amazing!
I'm tingling!

‐ Ciegrimites can't be blasted?

‐ Give me another blast,
I'm so close!

‐ Absolutely not!

‐ This facial is everything.

And that pan flute music... is live.

[cell phone ringing]

MODOK [on phone]:
Hey, girl.

You're my girl.

Uh, but also randomly...
‐ MODOK!

‐ The Ciegrimites are partying
everyone to death.

The Board is watching,
it's a bad scene,

and I don't know what to do.
Help?

‐ Oh totally. No problem.

Since you love taking my advice,
listen really closely, okay, Dad?

I'll tell you exactly what to do.

[bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]

‐ Ahh!
That language!

That's not the sweet Melissa I know.

‐ Ohh! It's 100 percent pure MELISSA:

Mental Entity Living to Induce
Seriously Sinister Anarchy.

‐ That's not what
your name stands for!

You were named after Melissa Etheridge
and you know it!

[line disconnects]
She hung up on me!

‐ Oh yeah!

‐ You're not even listening to me.

[gagging, retching]

Well, if Melissa won't help me,
I'll just use my powerful brain

to create a perfect simulacrum

of her entire consciousness.

[falsetto voice]
Oh, MODOK. I mean, oh, Dad!

You're so great, and I'm sorry
I was so unreasonable.

[normal voice]
That's all I've ever wanted to hear.

[falsetto voice]
Remember my trick from Horse Golf?

[normal voice]
I do! I do remember that trick!

Okay, here we go.

Oh nice,
the background's dropping out.

Things are nice and slow.

Mind, what is the meaning
of these increasingly deep butt drops?

Present findings in text form.

Interesting.
Let's scan another.

Oh, and this time, let's have
the text appear one letter at a time

like it's being typed.

Love that effect.
Easier to read.

They have the same weakness.

They all do.
They need to be the wildest.

They're insecure.

Which makes them... competitive.

That guy right there
is the life of the party.

‐ Oh yeah, yeah, yeah!

‐ This isn't the kind of music
you usually dance to, is it?

‐ Wha‐‐
‐ It's cool you have a shell.

It's great to be safe.
You know, to play it safe.

‐ No!

‐ We're the Ciegrimites, baby!
‐ Me too!

‐ Oh yeah? Well, none is freakier
than I, Bizrumel!

‐ Look only at my body!

‐ It's working! And I think
Bizrumel must be that one's name.

‐ Drink! Drink! Drink!

‐ And now, the solution that
everyone keeps telling me doesn't work,

the one and only, my mind blast!

[Ciegrimites yelping]

Now that's what I call leadership.

[sobbing]

Come on, everybody,
big smiles for The Board.

MAN: Oh my god!

[bell dings]

‐ Oh, Mister MODOK‐‐
‐ Ugh, this guy.

‐ I must loudly apologize.

The hotel was unable
to relax our policy

on viewing pornography
in the business center.

‐ Dear God, stop yelling!

‐ I'm so sorry you weren't able to visit
the following wonderful sites:

"Desperate Elderly‐‐"

‐ Stop! Get me the bill!

Thanks again, Melly.
Your technique worked great.

‐ [sarcastically]:
Oh, congratulations.

You killed a bunch
of horny alien slugs.

‐ I did do that.
Your tone is confusing to me.

‐ Of course it is.

‐ Oh!

Oh.

‐ What?

‐ It‐‐ [sighs]

Nothing. Let's go home.

‐ Oh, amazing trip.

Next time, let's go to Paris.

I can really see myself
never leaving the hotel room there.

Okay. See you in two weeks, Dad!

‐ I know we had a deal.

You don't have to come back
to my apartment if you don't want,

but I won't hold you to it
if you'd rather back out and still come.

I know I had a lot
of fun at Horse Golf.

‐ Yeah.

A deal's a deal though.
I don't have to come, right?

‐ Yeah.
A deal's a deal.

♪

So I guess...

[door closes]
it's the long game then.

[humming]

‐ We obtained another
of MODOK's devices.

A planetary portal.

He suspects nothing.

THE BOARD:
Excellent.

The end of his usefulness

draws near.

♪ dramatic theme playing ♪

♪

♪ choir vocalizing ♪

♪