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Okay. Can you get off? Good boy.
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Oh, Helen? We're hosting book club tonight.
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Do you want to join us?
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Same room, people. Can't hear you unless you're in the same room.
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Can't hear ya, May!
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We are hosting book club tonight. Would you like to join us?
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- We're doing Three Women. - Uh...
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Doing three women!
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Why is that funny?
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- "Doing". - What?
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It's not funny, but what he's saying is, like,
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that you're..."doing" three women.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, but he's saying it as, like...
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"doing" doing,
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not...not doing, but, you know, "doing".
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You know, you're..."doing".
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- Oh! - "Doing".
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Intercourse.
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Mmm.
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Helen? This is Terry Montanello.
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Said he's here to see Roz, but she's not in.
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That's okay. Terry. Come in. Thanks, George.
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I'm Helen. I'm the new Roz. Sit down. Go. Talk.
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What do you need? What can I do for you? Somebody died? What's happened?
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Well, my great-aunt, Maria, she passed away.
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- And I was... - Yep. That's very sad.
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I'm sorry, have you really replaced Roz?
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- Yeah. I'm the new Roz. - Hello, Terry. Sorry I'm late.
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Thank you, Helen. I'll take it from here.
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- Off you pop. - Helen says she's your replacement.
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Oh, God, no. Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
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- No. - Well, that's a relief.
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Is it?
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- N...no offense. Sorry. - Alright. Well, point of order, Terry.
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Just because you say "No offense",
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it doesn't render the offensive thing you just said not offensive.
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Helen, why don't you go and work on bringing in some new business?
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- You're not required here. - That's offensive.
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Now, let's get to know your Aunt Maria. In the will...
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You should know, Terry, that Roz can't work as a solicitor anymore.
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She was struck off. Oh, I'm sorry, suspended.
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- Out! - Just so you know.
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Sorry.
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That's an excellent choice.
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Ray, can I ask a couple of questions about this case you don't want to do?
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Yeah. Make it quick. I got to get to court for the listing.
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- No, it's Monday. - So?
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Well, listings are on Tuesday. What are you, the boss of court?
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- Hurry up. What do you need? - Okay.
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- No time for sitting, buddy. - So I read the file.
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- Uh-huh. - It says the brother gets the farm.
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The sister gets the family Bible. Seriously?
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Yeah, but apparently very nice Bible.
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It's got Jesus and prayers in it.
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There's a burning bush
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and some begetting and begetting, that kind of stuff.
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Wow. You're really selling it.
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But we're representing the brother, who drives a party bus.
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- Is that right? - Yeah. And?
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I don't get it. It says the sister worked the farm her whole life.
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Why was she left out?
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Dad was old-school and believed that...oh...
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property should be handed down the male line,
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which would never stand up in court.
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I propose we get on the front foot and suggest 50/50 split.
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- Okay. Well, that's easy. - Not really.
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Alice Pike is representing the sister,
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and she'll be gunning for a lot more than half.
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So? I'll just tell her, "The deal's 50/50. You take it or leave it".
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I'm loving your confidence, Fisk.
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I almost wish I could stick around and watch the car crash.
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- But I can't. 'Cause I got to go. - To the imaginary listings?
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Yep. Good get from you.
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Let's see how funny you are after half an hour with Alice Pike.
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What does that...Ray, what does that mean?
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- What do you...what...? - Good luck, Fisk!
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- Raymond. - Pike.
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We're supposed to have a meeting!
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I handed that over to my colleague, Helen Tudor.
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George, if you could help out Alice, that'd be wonderful.
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Hello. Can I help you?
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Hello. Alice Pike.
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Yes, 4:00 o'clock on the 15th.
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Send me an iCal invite. Let them know I have a hard stop at 4:20.
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Alice Pike. I was supposed to see Raymond.
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I believe it's now Helen Tudor.
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- Fisk. - What?
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- Uh...uh, Tudor-Fisk. - I'm sorry, do you speak English?
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Hello. Alice Pike.
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- Yes, talk to me. Quickly, please. - Uh...
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And the meeting is taking place where?
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I think it's either, um, Helen's office or the meeting room.
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I'll check. Got it. Text me to confirm.
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Thank you. Okay, no worries.
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- This way? - Yeah, just to the left.
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Did you still want me to text you to confirm or...
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I'll send it to this number on the card.
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Helen Tudor, Alice Pike.
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Hello.
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Hello. Alice Pike. Erm...
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Hello. Helen Tudor-Fisk.
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- Yes. Go ahead. I'm listening. - Right.
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Well, I'm taking over Hopkins vs Hopkins, so...
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Yes, that's right. Thank you. ..I will be...
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- I'm sorry. You're on the phone. - No, I'm done. Helen, is it?
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Look, I've got a hard stop at 3:30, so let's get this done, shall we?
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I propose a 75/25 split. Okay.
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Are we talking 75/25 or 25/75, if you know what I mean?
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I don't.
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Hello. Alice Pike. No, I'll be back in the office this afternoon.
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75/25. Do we have a deal?
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If it's 75/25, yes, we do.
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You're starting to irritate me, Helen.
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Right back at you, "Hello. Alice Pike".
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Listen to me.
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75/25.
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No, you listen to me, because I'm the offerer,
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so I say what the offer is, and I've just decided, oh, guess what,
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it's 90/10, to me, to my client.
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We both know that won't hold up in court.
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- Do we know that? - Do you want to find out?
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I do not, sir. 80/20. Try again.
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70/30. Stop wasting my time.
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Best offer on the table right now or I'll see you in court.
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Okay.
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S...don't you dare say 60/40.
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I wasn't going to. You don't know what I'm gonna say.
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It was gonna be, "So, offer, 50/50". Thank you.
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Now we have a starting point. I'll take that to my client.
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Well...it's not a starting point, it's a finishing point,
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and you can take it or leave it.
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- What's that, now? - Erm, on the phone, please.
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Hello. Alice...uh, it's Helen.
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Go away. I'm busy. Hard stopping.
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Yep. Okay.
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Call them today.
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Hello. Alice Pike.
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Just a moment.
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Well, well. Roz Gruber.
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I'll call you back.
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I'm very surprised to see YOU working here.
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I'm the office manager, nothing more.
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She doesn't work as a solicitor anymore. She's been suspended.
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- Oh, she knows. - Oh, I know.
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George, this is the infamous Alice Pike.
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Alice is the one who persuaded two of my clients
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to make the complaints that got me suspended.
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Hello. Alice Pike.
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Yes. This is she.
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It's fine. I'm not with anyone important.
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Go ahead. I'm listening.
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"This is she". I mean, who says that?
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She's full of it.
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Like, I don't think there's even anyone calling her.
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- You have got to be kidding me. - No, I'm serious. She's faking it.
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Ray?
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Did you know Pike was here?
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Why do you think I went and sat in the car for an hour?
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Apparently she wants to specialize in wills and probate!
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- Come on! That's my thing! - I'm sorry?
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That's your thing. You saw the gap in the market years ago.
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Well done, Roz.
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We need to get more aggressive about new business,
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keep her out of the market.
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Wow. You were right about Alice Pike.
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- Hello, Roz. - Helen!
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How's your client list going?
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We need some more business and lots of it.
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Uh, I took a walk-in yesterday.
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Well done, Helen. Thank you.
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Someone wandered in. I might go sit in the car again.
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That is called passive recruitment. I think that might be my forte.
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You need to be more proactive, Helen. Tout for business.
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So, like, lurk at funeral homes and hand out business cards?
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Excellent idea. Wasn't serious.
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Then get serious! Where's our client base?
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Post office? Old people love the Post office.
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And Michel's Patisserie.
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The movies, specifically talking through the movies.
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Church. You can always find them at church.
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We don't want old people.
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We want middle-aged people squabbling over an inheritance.
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Got it. Squabblers.
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Tout for squabblers. Be a squabbler touter.
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I actually came to see Ray.
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W...where's Ray gone?
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Careful, careful, careful...now, can you put Leslie
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in the chair where she likes it, please?
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This way.
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My mother, you know, well, she grew up, obviously, Second World War.
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So, I mean...Helen!
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Um, everyone, this is Helen. Come in. Come and join us.
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No, I'm good, May. I haven't read the book, so...
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Oh, hang on. Snacks. I'm in. Okay.
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Hi, Helen. Hello.
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As I was saying, this first chapter really reminded me
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of my own mother's story.
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Leslie's mum passed away recently. Oh, I see.
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Mum had an inner strength. Oh, she was a mother and a worker.
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She had a part-time job in a cake shop.
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Ooh. How delicious. She was a wife and a friend.
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She played canasta and tenpin bowls.
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She lived a very full life.
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I'd really love to tell HER story.
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Feel like you ARE.
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The good thing is, I'm taking a creative writing course.
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So...
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Oh, good.
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Uh, anyway, as I was saying...
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- Is there any more wine? - ...when a parent dies...
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Oh, God. I'm sorry, Leslie. You're still talking.
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it puts things in perspective.
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So what if you didn't get the best park at the supermarket?
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You know? So bloody what?
216
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Speaking of car parks, what about the chapter
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where they had sex in the car?
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Not now, Graham.
219
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What's really hard at the moment
220
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is everyone squabbling over Mum's stuff.
221
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Ooh! Squabbling? How are they squabbling there, Leslie?
222
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I don't want to sell her house. Mm-hm.
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- I mean, it's full of memories. - Yes. What does the will say?
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- Are you the executor? - Pardon?
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Well, you might not have to sell the house.
226
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Oh, Helen's a lawyer. Yeah.
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I'm a wills and probate specialist, actually.
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Oh, can I have one of those, Helen?
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Oh, you bet. There you go. One for you.
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Oh, hello. Yep. Bringing in some new business.
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There we go. Good stuff, all of you. Give me a call.
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Alright. If we can just circle back to the sex-in-the-car scenes.
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Weren't they titillating?
234
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But also relevant.
235
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I think we should shampoo the carpet. A dry shampoo.
236
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Yeah. 'Cause you can walk on that reasonably quick.
237
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Mmm. Good morning, Roz.
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What's that? "Did you bring in any new business"?
239
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Ooh, I'm glad you asked.
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Two new clients, and I know where to find a whole lot more.
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Do not say Michel's Patisserie, because they banned me
242
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the last time I was there handing out business cards.
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It's a shame. They do such excellent coffee.
244
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Well, let's hear your idea, Helen. Two words.
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Book club.
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What's the second word?
247
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,740
Book clubs are full of middle-aged people, mostly women,
248
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,220
dead or dying parents,
249
00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:52,980
and they're all squabbling over their inheritance.
250
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,980
That's your business strategy, is it?
251
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,700
Walk up to complete strangers and ask,
252
00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,340
"Can I please come to your book club"?
253
00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:04,540
Well, it sounded less stupid when I said it, but, essentially...
254
00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,020
yes.
255
00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:12,100
- What about the vertical blinds? - Hmm. There's no doubt they're tired.
256
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,070
Oh! Fisk! Pike's in reception.
257
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,540
- You haven't seen me. - What? Who's in reception?
258
00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:36,700
Oh! Hello, Alice Pike. Hello. Alice Pike.
259
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:38,140
I just said that!
260
00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:41,420
Yes, that's all doable, but, obviously, with a hard stop at 3:30.
261
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:44,380
Okay? Alright, circling back to where we left off.
262
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:46,420
The offer was deemed untenable.
263
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,100
Is this your new hardball act, Helen?
264
00:11:51,340 --> 00:11:52,580
Oh, how tedious.
265
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:54,700
Oh, God, sorry. I thought you were still on the phone.
266
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:57,420
It's very hard to know with you. My client will accept 60/40.
267
00:11:57,420 --> 00:11:59,940
And 60 goes to...? To my client.
268
00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:02,180
Well, then, I'm sorry, no deal.
269
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,060
The offer was 50/50 or I see you in court.
270
00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:06,460
Done. Thank you.
271
00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,420
- 50/50? - No. I'll see you in court.
272
00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:10,580
We're not going to court, Fisk.
273
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:13,900
Where...are you in the cupboard?
274
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,420
It's more of a storeroom than a cupboard.
275
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:19,260
So there's a few ways we can go with this.
276
00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:22,740
And, obviously, it's your choice, Terry, but I will say...
277
00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:36,780
You want me to accept 60/40, 60 to them, 40 to us. Why?
278
00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:39,020
Because if we go to court, we might end up with nothing.
279
00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:41,540
Oh, come on! Is Alice Pike really that good?
280
00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:43,660
It's not about Pike. It's about OUR client.
281
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:46,180
Have a look at this bloke. Have a look.
282
00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:48,300
- This one? - Mmm.
283
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,980
Alright, Brandon, uh, we're going to film today's session
284
00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:53,700
so that we can help you work on your presentation, so...
285
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:56,780
You don't...George, you don't need me in this, just Brandon.
286
00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:58,020
- That's Brandon. - Okay.
287
00:12:58,020 --> 00:13:00,540
So, the first thing the judge might ask is,
288
00:13:00,540 --> 00:13:03,140
"Mr.Hopkins, what do you do for a living"?
289
00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:05,140
- Uh-huh. - And you would say?
290
00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:07,260
Hi, Judge. Uh, yep. Okay.
291
00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:11,100
So, uh...I run me own business, which is a party bus,
292
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:14,180
do a lot of hens' nights, a lot of bucks' nights, but...
293
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:15,660
anyone can book it.
294
00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:17,260
Like, say, you and...you and your judge mates,
295
00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:19,540
you want to go to the pub, I can come and pick youse all up,
296
00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:24,900
and the beauty is, you can drink on the way to drinking at the pub.
297
00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,540
- How good is that? - It gets better.
298
00:13:26,780 --> 00:13:28,020
The sound system is next-level.
299
00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:30,100
It's so good, a lot of people don't want to get off.
300
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:34,340
So we just drive around and everyone gets munted, on the bus!
301
00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:38,300
Not me, obviously. I don't drink and drive, anymore.
302
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,540
- Stop. Let's try again. - Mm-hm.
303
00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:43,220
This time, when I ask you what you do for a living,
304
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:45,420
stop talking after "I run me own business".
305
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:48,300
Yeah, but some people might not know what a party bus is.
306
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,580
Which I think's for the best.
307
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,060
George? Hang on.
308
00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:56,180
Mate, put the camera back. We're gonna be here for a while.
309
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:59,060
Are we? 'Ray'?
310
00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:00,780
Yeah, okay. Point made.
311
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:02,540
I...I can show you more if you want to see...
312
00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:04,540
Uh, no need. No need. You had me at 'munted'.
313
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:06,660
'Ray'.
314
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:11,380
Here we go.
315
00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:13,060
One, two, three, four.
316
00:14:16,580 --> 00:14:21,260
* Ooh, I want to find a better place *
Oh.
317
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:24,740
* Ooh, ooh *
318
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:28,540
* I'm searching for a better place *
319
00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,420
* Heaven, Heaven *
320
00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,740
* Must be there *
321
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:35,220
* Well, it's there *
Well, it's just got to be there.
322
00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,460
* I've never, never, ever *
323
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,700
* Ever seen Eden *
324
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:42,100
* But ah, ah, ah *
325
00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:47,340
* I don't want to live in this place *
326
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:49,860
- Excellent. Where's your note? - Here it is.
327
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:52,340
* Mmm, ah *
328
00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:53,780
* There it is, Bobbie, good *
Thank you, Roz.
329
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,260
* Lovely, lovely from you *
330
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,740
* Rozalind, I think the cleaner wants to see you *
331
00:14:57,740 --> 00:15:00,780
The cleaner? What are you talking about? Oh, Helen. Hello! Come on in!
332
00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:02,300
Wow. You're in a good mood.
333
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,900
That is because we're singing. It's the endorphins.
334
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,380
Oh, is that what it is?
335
00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:09,140
Everybody, this is our new associate, Helen Tudor-Fisk.
336
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:09,880
Hello.
337
00:15:09,970 --> 00:15:10,860
* Hello *
338
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:11,710
* Hello *
339
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:12,540
Hello!
340
00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:16,100
* Hello! *
341
00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:21,060
That's Maggie. She's our drone. Don't you love it?
342
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,540
- Very Gregorian. - Thank you.
343
00:15:28,540 --> 00:15:30,300
Extraordinary. Have a drink!
344
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,100
Yeah, sure. What are we celebrating? We're rehearsing for a funeral.
345
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,780
Oh, fun. We also do weddings. Grab a flier.
346
00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:40,500
Roz, don't forget. I'm gonna need a new top for Saturday.
347
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,540
That is noted. I'll get you a maternity skivvy.
348
00:15:43,780 --> 00:15:46,340
Alright, ladies. Let's keep going.
349
00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:48,820
Feel free to join us and watch the show, Helen.
350
00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:50,260
Yeah. Alright.
351
00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:53,740
I'll be, um, in charge of endorphins, shall I?
352
00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:56,660
One, two, three, four.
353
00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:11,660
* Aunty Maria *
354
00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:13,380
* Ah *
355
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:15,780
* Aunty *
356
00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:17,380
* Maria *
Ah.
357
00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:22,580
* Rest in peace *
* Ah...ah *
358
00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:24,380
We'll miss you. God bless.
359
00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:27,260
Oh! Nice!
360
00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:30,700
Do more church ones. Do more church ones. What's the other one?
361
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,220
The...who knows the Our Father? Come on. Everyone knows that one.
362
00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:35,260
I know...I know it. Go, go, go.
363
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:39,060
* Our Father, who art... *
364
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,260
Nah. Bit slow. Bit boring.
365
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:43,860
Do the nun one where she rocks it with a guitar...you know, the...
366
00:16:43,860 --> 00:16:46,075
* Our Father, who art in heaven... *
367
00:16:46,165 --> 00:16:46,900
Alright. Okay, stop.
368
00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:49,340
Stop. I think...now you're making fun.
369
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:50,780
Having fun. Sorry, Maggie, what was that?
370
00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:52,260
Ladies, I hate to break up rehearsal,
371
00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:53,820
but I've got a birthing class to go to.
372
00:16:53,820 --> 00:16:56,020
Oh, great! Yes, and I've got book club.
373
00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:58,060
Ooh! Book club! Can I tag along, Tina?
374
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,980
I'm Bobbie. Can I tag along, Bobbie?
375
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,020
Sure. Have you read Three Women?
376
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,500
Yes.
377
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,980
What about when they have sex in the car?
378
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:07,940
I know! Visceral!
379
00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,380
Going to book club, Roz.
380
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,420
Hey, I won't be home for dinner tonight,
381
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,420
because I am off to Kay's book club.
382
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,900
Who's Kay?
383
00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:20,740
I met her last night at Bobbie's book club.
384
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,260
And then she invited me to her book club.
385
00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:24,260
I've got a few invitations, actually. I've got Anna.
386
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:27,940
She's another friend of Bobbie's. And then I've got Beverley someone.
387
00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:30,500
Hers is the third Thursday of every month. I'll never remember that.
388
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,020
But the thing is, I've told everyone I'm lonely and I've got no friends.
389
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,820
Good on you for admitting it.
390
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:37,580
That's a good first step. Sorry, what am I admitting?
391
00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:40,100
That you're lonely. I'm not lonely, guys.
392
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:43,220
I'm touting for business. I'm squabbler-touting.
393
00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:45,900
Okay. I'm not lonely, guys.
394
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:47,980
Got heaps of...I've got friends.
395
00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:51,660
Got a friend. Shut up. I do.
396
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:56,740
Raymond.
397
00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:59,060
Show me. Show me these photos.
398
00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:02,420
Oh, well, that's rubbish!
399
00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:04,180
Terry's not a Gruber client.
400
00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:06,700
I know that, Roz, but Pike's claiming otherwise,
401
00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:08,580
and the board have asked us for a meeting.
402
00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:10,780
Oh, they can have a meeting. Get them in here.
403
00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:12,620
I've got nothing to hide. Calm down.
404
00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:15,140
I'll give Alex Walker a call. He knows us. He's on the board.
405
00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:17,580
And I'll just...yeah. I would like a meeting.
406
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:21,380
I welcome the opportunity to speak for myself and clear my name.
407
00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:23,700
I really think it would be easier to just sort of...
408
00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:25,180
do what you said.
409
00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:27,140
Mmm. I'll organize a meeting.
410
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,260
That screen needs a wipe.
411
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,740
Just keep it short and sharp and efficient.
412
00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:34,620
Yep. Oh, thank you, George.
413
00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:36,740
Did you want me? Yeah, please.
414
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:38,180
Can you guys sit down for a sec?
415
00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:43,100
So, Alice Pike has made a complaint to the Legal Services Board.
416
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:45,340
Oh, not about me? No, Helen, about me.
417
00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:47,140
Oh, good. For me.
418
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:49,100
Not good for you, obviously. That's bad.
419
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,380
She claims I'm in breach of my suspension
420
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,700
and working as a solicitor.
421
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:55,860
Oh, hardly! You don't do any work. I mean, George and I do it.
422
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,340
What is Alice Pike's problem?
423
00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,140
Oh, this goes way back to when Roz and...
424
00:19:00,380 --> 00:19:02,140
The problem is...
425
00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:04,220
I've always been a better lawyer than Alice Pike.
426
00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:06,340
Back in the day, I gave her what for in that courtroom
427
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:07,820
on more than one occasion.
428
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:11,020
Roz also gave Pike's boyfriend what for at a party once.
429
00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:12,940
That's the real reason.
430
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:14,700
Did you cuckold Alice Pike?
431
00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:16,460
It was over 30 years ago.
432
00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:18,940
He said they'd broken up. Did you just say 'cuckold'?
433
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,540
Yeah, we're doing The Miller's Tale at one of my book clubs.
434
00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:23,180
It's about cuckolding, apparently.
435
00:19:23,420 --> 00:19:25,100
I've not read it. What's cuckolding?
436
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,980
Is that the thing where you put the belt around your neck?
437
00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:29,500
'Cause that's really dangerous, Roz.
438
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,380
No, it is not that.
439
00:19:32,740 --> 00:19:34,980
Item two.
440
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,820
Thank you.
441
00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:54,540
Got a bit of reading there, Helen? What?
442
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:57,460
Oh, no, these are for my book clubs. I don't actually read them.
443
00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:59,820
I just wave it around, yeah, nod a bit,
444
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,780
then, yeah, eat the snacks, drink the wine
445
00:20:02,020 --> 00:20:03,780
and tout for squabblers.
446
00:20:03,780 --> 00:20:06,260
I could do that. Any word from the board, Raymond?
447
00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:08,900
You got your wish, Roz. Alex Walker's coming in this afternoon.
448
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:11,820
Great! I shall prepare my defense.
449
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:14,660
Yeah.
450
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:17,820
The simple answer is no, you cannot freeze a potato.
451
00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:22,420
Maggie. Maggie, I'm telling you, you're not in labor.
452
00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:24,900
It's just Braxton Hicks.
453
00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,260
No. That is definitely false labor.
454
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:31,140
I can hear it. I can hear it. That baby is not coming out today.
455
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:34,860
Oh, come on, Maggie. This is so important to me.
456
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:36,460
This is my chance...
457
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,220
Maggie?
458
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:40,940
Maggie? Hello?
459
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,900
Oh! Shit! Shit, shit!
460
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,140
Shit. Shit!
461
00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:49,020
Helen! Yep.
462
00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:50,820
What are you doing? Nothing. I wasn't.
463
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:52,300
Right.
464
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:55,580
You are my new drone. Don't know what that means.
465
00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:57,300
Listen.
466
00:20:59,060 --> 00:21:00,540
* Maa... *
467
00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:02,420
* Ma-maa? *
468
00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:03,590
* Maa *
469
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,420
Maa.
470
00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:06,180
* Maa... *
* Ah... *
471
00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:08,420
Lower. You're the drone. Lower.
472
00:21:08,420 --> 00:21:09,590
* Oh... *
473
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:10,420
Use your diaphragm.
474
00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:12,190
* Oh... *
475
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,020
That's your pelvis.
476
00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:15,580
* Ah...ah...ah... *
477
00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:18,060
Just...it's the one note. Just hold the one note, Helen.
478
00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:20,540
I'm not a singer, Roz. I'm not asking you to sing.
479
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:23,940
I'm asking you to drone. Come on.
480
00:21:25,740 --> 00:21:27,620
That's it. That's it. You've got it. You've got it.
481
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:28,500
Fisk, what are you doing?
482
00:21:28,410 --> 00:21:30,900
* I'm the drone... *
483
00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:33,140
Maggie's gone into labor, or so she says.
484
00:21:33,140 --> 00:21:35,500
Alex is gonna be here in half an hour, but it's not too late.
485
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,740
I could still give him a call and explain everything.
486
00:21:37,740 --> 00:21:39,500
Yeah, I reckon let's just do what Ray said.
487
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:44,060
Ray, this is about me going on the record and clearing my name.
488
00:21:44,060 --> 00:21:47,180
Feels more about you showing off and doing one of your little concerts.
489
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:50,180
Uh, Roz, two of your black lady Wiggles are in reception.
490
00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:52,700
And put this on.
491
00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:56,700
Think you're a bit flat, Helen.
492
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:59,380
- You think? - Oh, for God's sake, Fisk!
493
00:21:59,380 --> 00:22:02,780
Enough. You sound like a cow with a vuvuzela stuck up its ass.
494
00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:05,300
What time's Pike coming in to sign off on the 60/40 deal?
495
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:06,740
About five. Alright.
496
00:22:10,340 --> 00:22:12,260
That's nice.
497
00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:18,180
That's a true story. I'm not making that up.
498
00:22:18,180 --> 00:22:21,100
Mate, true or made-up, it's still not interesting.
499
00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:25,340
And I requested a quiet ride.
500
00:22:25,340 --> 00:22:26,820
One star.
501
00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:36,020
Ladies and gentlemen,
502
00:22:36,020 --> 00:22:37,500
distinguished guest,
503
00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:42,220
friends beyond the binary and member of the board.
504
00:22:42,220 --> 00:22:43,900
It's a pleas...hurry it up, mate.
505
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:46,620
Thank you. Thank you, George. I'll take it from here.
506
00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:50,620
Good afternoon.
507
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:54,660
May I present to you the Sadrigals, an all-woman madrigal group
508
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:57,660
available for funerals and memorial services.
509
00:22:57,900 --> 00:22:59,940
And this...this is Terry.
510
00:22:59,940 --> 00:23:02,420
Would you please state who you are for the record?
511
00:23:02,420 --> 00:23:04,060
My name is Terry Montanello.
512
00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:05,660
The Sadrigals will be performing
513
00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:10,140
at the funeral of my Great-Aunt Maria this Saturday.
514
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:12,100
- And for the record... - There's no record.
515
00:23:12,340 --> 00:23:14,860
This is an informal...
516
00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:16,540
whatever this is.
517
00:23:16,540 --> 00:23:18,500
My apologies. I'll rephrase.
518
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:20,980
And for those present, would you please state
519
00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:23,460
what you are not, Terry?
520
00:23:23,460 --> 00:23:26,660
I am not a client of Gruber & Associates.
521
00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:28,540
Thank you. Helen?
522
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:32,020
I also am not a client of Gruber...
523
00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:33,660
Pitchpipe, pitchpipe.
524
00:23:33,900 --> 00:23:35,620
Yep. Sorry.
525
00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:39,670
* Bwa *
526
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:40,500
Ah.
527
00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:41,190
* Bwa... *
528
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:42,020
Ah...
529
00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:44,180
* Bwa... *
530
00:23:44,420 --> 00:23:46,660
* Bap-ba-dap *
531
00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:49,620
* Da-da-dap mmm, doo, da-da-dap *
532
00:23:49,860 --> 00:23:51,660
* Mmm, doo, da-da-dap *
533
00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:53,860
* Mmm, doo, da-da, da-da, da-da... *
534
00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:59,460
* Her love shines over my horizon *
535
00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:02,340
* She's a slice of Heaven *
536
00:24:02,340 --> 00:24:06,780
* Warm moonlight over my horizon *
537
00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:09,900
* She's a slice of heaven... *
538
00:24:10,140 --> 00:24:13,540
* Her love shines over my horizon *
539
00:24:13,540 --> 00:24:16,220
* She's a slice of heaven... *
540
00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:17,660
Everyone.
541
00:24:17,660 --> 00:24:21,500
* Warm moonlight over my horizon *
542
00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:25,580
* She's a slice of heaven... *
543
00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:28,580
* Ooh... *
544
00:24:34,620 --> 00:24:38,380
That, sir, is the work I've been doing.
545
00:24:38,620 --> 00:24:40,100
Well, thank you, ladies.
546
00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:42,180
- That was not only unexpected... - Mmm!
547
00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:44,060
but also a complete waste of my time.
548
00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:46,300
Oh. Terry, sorry for your loss.
549
00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:49,820
Ray, you couldn't just call me, explain what happened?
550
00:24:49,820 --> 00:24:51,500
Sorry, mate. You know what she's like.
551
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:54,060
I'm too busy for this sort of shit. I know. I know you are.
552
00:24:54,060 --> 00:24:56,580
Thank you for coming in. I really appreciate it, Terry.
553
00:24:56,580 --> 00:25:00,100
So the Sondheim's definitely in and so's the Jesus Christ...
554
00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:02,020
She forgot to breathe! I can't get any air.
555
00:25:02,020 --> 00:25:05,380
I can't get any air. Here, here. Here.
556
00:25:14,460 --> 00:25:18,140
Alice Pike is here to sign some paperwork.
557
00:25:18,140 --> 00:25:20,220
No, I don't want to see her. Get Ray to do it.
558
00:25:20,220 --> 00:25:22,820
He's not here. Check the...stationery cupboard.
559
00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:24,460
Checked it. He's not there.
560
00:25:24,460 --> 00:25:27,820
Oh. Ooh! Ooh! You know where he would be?
561
00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:33,540
Well, this is sad.
562
00:25:39,020 --> 00:25:40,500
- Hi there. - Hi.
563
00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:42,700
I just wanted to return these books, please. I, um...
564
00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:44,540
Got the receipt there? Yeah.
565
00:25:44,540 --> 00:25:46,780
I bought them by accident. So...
566
00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:49,260
Is that hummus?
567
00:25:49,260 --> 00:25:51,180
Well, I don't think so.
568
00:25:51,180 --> 00:25:53,220
I can't take these back. They're filthy.
569
00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:55,700
Well, I can't read them. They're impenetrable.
570
00:26:00,820 --> 00:26:02,500
So, what did we think?
571
00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:04,740
Did anyone else get the sense that the Shroud
572
00:26:04,740 --> 00:26:08,380
was like a metaphor for the sins of man?
573
00:26:08,380 --> 00:26:09,620
No, mate. I thought it was shit.
574
00:26:09,620 --> 00:26:11,580
Thought we were doing the book about the cuckold.
575
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:12,900
I thought there'd be snacks.
576
00:26:14,260 --> 00:26:15,900
Shall we go to the pub?
577
00:26:16,140 --> 00:26:17,580
- Yep. Yep. Yep? - Leave those.
578
00:26:17,820 --> 00:26:20,100
I'll whack 'em in recycling.44050
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