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www.tvsubtitles.net
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Mmm-- feel the sun on our face;
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00:00:14,506 --> 00:00:15,549
smell the air.
4
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You know--
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if Salmoneus had to
send for us,
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he could have
picked a worse
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place than this to meet.
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Yeah, it's nice.
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It wasn't always like this.
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00:00:26,429 --> 00:00:28,052
See that wreck up
on the rocks?
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It looks like the remains
of a warship.
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One of dozens that attacked
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this beach in a
battle so bloody,
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the sand was soaked red.
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Thanks for sharing.
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00:00:38,566 --> 00:00:39,547
When was it?
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Uh-- it's been almost a year,
now, since the peace was signed.
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Ah-- that's plenty of
time for things
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00:00:45,806 --> 00:00:47,585
to return to being
safe and normal.
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00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:54,018
Are you all right?
21
00:00:54,464 --> 00:00:55,519
Uh, yeah, I think so.
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Where did this come from?
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The same place as that one.
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They're so deep.
25
00:01:02,472 --> 00:01:06,334
Hey, look! Hah!
Clams! Oh, yes.
26
00:01:06,807 --> 00:01:07,955
There's lots of 'em, too.
27
00:01:08,409 --> 00:01:09,448
I know what I'm
having for dinner.
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What do you think
made these ruts?
29
00:01:13,911 --> 00:01:16,058
Only one thing I know
makes tracks that deep
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a fully-armed war wagon.
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A war wagon?
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What would it be doing here?
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I thought you said
it was peaceful.
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Come back, girls!
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How 'bout a little kiss?
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What's your hurry?
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Grab her!
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00:02:04,531 --> 00:02:05,878
Hey, get away
from those girls!
39
00:02:06,111 --> 00:02:07,869
And stay away!
40
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It's ruined!
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00:02:11,816 --> 00:02:12,744
Is everybody OK?
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00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:13,752
Yes.
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00:02:13,956 --> 00:02:14,695
'Cause frankly I was worried.
44
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These costumes were not
designed to take this kind of abuse.
45
00:02:17,364 --> 00:02:18,257
Costumes?
46
00:02:18,598 --> 00:02:20,146
Just wait till I tell my sponsor.
47
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Don't forget to tell him who saved
you a man of surprising courage;
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00:02:23,051 --> 00:02:23,834
deceptive strength;
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and ingenious skill;
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00:02:25,941 --> 00:02:28,036
and is not above accepting
financial remuneration!
51
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Thanks for nothing!
52
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Hm-hmm.
53
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Xena!
54
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I was just talking about you
55
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sort of.
56
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Beauty contest?
57
00:02:38,542 --> 00:02:40,506
You sent urgent
word for us to come
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and see some underdressed,
59
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over-developed bimbos
in a beauty contest?
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00:02:44,417 --> 00:02:44,903
Pageant--
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it's called a pageant.
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Contest, pageant.
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00:02:47,318 --> 00:02:49,807
It's a feeble excuse for men
to exploit and degrade women.
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00:02:51,665 --> 00:02:52,915
Wrong as usual,
Miss Sunshine.
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00:02:53,197 --> 00:02:54,882
Since when do we
ever need an excuse?
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00:02:55,415 --> 00:02:57,383
Besides,it's more like
combat than contest.
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00:02:57,624 --> 00:02:58,682
And it had such potential--
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00:02:58,969 --> 00:03:00,307
when Lord Claron proposed
it as a way to
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00:03:00,307 --> 00:03:01,913
celebrate a year of peace!
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00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,141
Merchandizing,
local franchises,
71
00:03:04,141 --> 00:03:05,063
off-runway betting--
72
00:03:05,063 --> 00:03:07,195
Wake me when you get
to the urgent part.
73
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,243
Hah? Remember
the leaders who,
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00:03:12,243 --> 00:03:13,962
ah, wrote that treaty
here about a year ago?
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00:03:14,852 --> 00:03:15,944
The Doge of Messini,
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00:03:15,944 --> 00:03:17,172
the Regent of Skyros,
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00:03:17,172 --> 00:03:18,343
and the Palatine of Parnassus?
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00:03:18,343 --> 00:03:19,150
Well spoken.
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00:03:19,484 --> 00:03:20,572
See, they each entered their
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00:03:20,572 --> 00:03:21,558
girlfriends in the pageant,
81
00:03:21,558 --> 00:03:23,100
and since then, we've
had nothing but trouble--
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00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:24,575
Wrecked costumes,
ripped props,
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00:03:24,575 --> 00:03:26,139
and now this business
on the beach!
84
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,884
Sounds like someone's trying
to wage a war by proxy.
85
00:03:28,884 --> 00:03:30,756
That would explain all
the war wagon tracks.
86
00:03:31,463 --> 00:03:33,273
And that's why I
sent urgent word.
87
00:03:34,144 --> 00:03:35,250
If you don't help to keep
things on the level,
88
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:37,360
each leader is going blame
the other, and soon,
89
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:38,723
we're all buying headstones.
90
00:03:38,723 --> 00:03:39,829
Yeah, probably from you.
91
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:41,973
Now, why don't you just
cancel the pageant?
92
00:03:43,297 --> 00:03:44,751
Lord Claron's tried that!
93
00:03:45,065 --> 00:03:46,531
Each of these guys is
so invested in winning,
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00:03:46,531 --> 00:03:47,793
nobody wants to quit first!
95
00:03:48,174 --> 00:03:48,751
The way I see
96
00:03:48,981 --> 00:03:49,731
it-- What we need, see--
97
00:03:49,731 --> 00:03:51,515
is a contestant to
keep an eye on
98
00:03:51,515 --> 00:03:53,234
things-- from the inside.
99
00:03:54,043 --> 00:03:55,090
Oh, no, no, no.
100
00:03:55,090 --> 00:03:56,112
Don't even look at me.
101
00:03:56,388 --> 00:03:57,756
Now you know how
I feel about these
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00:03:57,756 --> 00:03:59,767
women being victimized
by meat markets.
103
00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:02,923
She's right.
104
00:04:04,301 --> 00:04:06,071
But war makes everyone a victim
105
00:04:07,564 --> 00:04:11,272
so-- meet Miss Amphipolis.
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00:04:22,031 --> 00:04:24,812
In a time of ancient gods,
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00:04:26,538 --> 00:04:29,063
warlords, and kings,
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00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:32,975
a land in turmoil cried out for a hero.
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00:04:42,204 --> 00:04:43,956
She was Xena,
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00:04:44,782 --> 00:04:46,365
a mighty princess,
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00:04:46,365 --> 00:04:48,664
forged in the heat of battle.
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00:04:52,968 --> 00:04:54,366
the power...
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00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,539
the passion...
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00:05:00,628 --> 00:05:03,922
the danger...
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00:05:07,289 --> 00:05:12,175
Her courage will change the world...
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00:05:32,788 --> 00:05:33,350
Now, remember--
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00:05:33,696 --> 00:05:34,349
if anybody asks,
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00:05:34,349 --> 00:05:35,209
you're Miss Amphipolis,
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00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,286
and you're her sponsor,
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00:05:36,286 --> 00:05:37,318
the Marquesa-- huh!
121
00:05:37,318 --> 00:05:38,027
What?
122
00:05:38,027 --> 00:05:39,178
What about the contest itself?
123
00:05:39,178 --> 00:05:39,897
Here's the deal.
124
00:05:39,897 --> 00:05:41,540
Each girl competes in
three events to win.
125
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:42,740
Miss one event,
whatever the reason,
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00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:43,512
you're out of the pageant.
127
00:05:43,512 --> 00:05:44,288
You can't get back in.
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00:05:44,288 --> 00:05:45,149
One miss, you're gone--
129
00:05:45,149 --> 00:05:46,070
Understand?
130
00:05:57,642 --> 00:05:58,233
Excuse me.
131
00:05:58,470 --> 00:06:01,748
Watch it, clod-- or,
can't you see from up there?
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00:06:09,971 --> 00:06:10,673
Excuse, me.
133
00:06:10,673 --> 00:06:11,799
Miss Messini?
134
00:06:11,799 --> 00:06:12,781
Sorry to interrupt.
135
00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:14,766
I want to introduce you
to our newest contestant,
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00:06:14,766 --> 00:06:17,362
Miss Amphipolis,
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00:06:17,362 --> 00:06:19,287
and her sponsor,
the Marquesa.
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00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,563
Ladies, this is Miss Messini,
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00:06:23,228 --> 00:06:25,187
sponsored by the Doge of Messini.
140
00:06:25,532 --> 00:06:26,373
Hello.
141
00:06:26,373 --> 00:06:27,969
It's good to meet you.
142
00:06:28,793 --> 00:06:31,285
Oh, don't let us keep
you from your--
143
00:06:48,419 --> 00:06:50,036
You saved my life.
144
00:06:50,036 --> 00:06:51,215
Did you see that?
145
00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:52,827
He saved my life.
146
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,686
Yes, yes, I did, yes.
147
00:06:55,686 --> 00:06:56,640
It was nothing.
148
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:57,753
Nothing?
149
00:06:57,753 --> 00:06:59,594
I wouldn't call that
arrow nothing.
150
00:07:00,642 --> 00:07:02,298
And I don't think my
sponsor will either,
151
00:07:02,298 --> 00:07:03,636
once he finds out about it.
152
00:07:12,625 --> 00:07:14,046
Hah! Talk about a close call.
153
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:16,449
If Miss Messini
had been skewered,
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00:07:16,449 --> 00:07:17,879
the Doge would've blamed
the other two.
155
00:07:17,879 --> 00:07:18,801
I would've lost both the peace
156
00:07:18,801 --> 00:07:20,282
and my shirt in
one fell swoop.
157
00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:21,981
Your concern is so touching.
158
00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:23,934
Look-- as long as we can keep
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00:07:23,934 --> 00:07:24,903
the contest fair,
160
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,194
while we find out
who's doing this,
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00:07:26,194 --> 00:07:27,091
we'll be fine.
162
00:07:27,091 --> 00:07:27,732
OK-- Salmoneus,
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00:07:28,003 --> 00:07:29,111
you find me a disguise,
164
00:07:29,111 --> 00:07:30,983
while you get to know
the other sponsors.
165
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:31,810
Got it.
166
00:07:31,810 --> 00:07:33,521
We'll meet back here
after the first event.
167
00:07:42,439 --> 00:07:44,513
Matron of the
pageant, coming in.
168
00:07:45,816 --> 00:07:47,568
Oh, there's no
time for modesty.
169
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,544
I've got ten more of you
wannabes to see before--
170
00:07:51,483 --> 00:07:52,756
Here, what's this?
171
00:07:52,756 --> 00:07:53,920
What?
172
00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:55,234
Aren't you?
173
00:07:55,453 --> 00:07:56,945
Yes, I'm sure you are.
174
00:07:58,550 --> 00:07:59,389
What?
175
00:07:59,737 --> 00:08:02,022
You're wearing
the robe inside-out.
176
00:08:03,384 --> 00:08:04,393
Oh.
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00:08:05,029 --> 00:08:07,689
Oh, why the gods waste
beauty on girls like you,
178
00:08:07,689 --> 00:08:08,801
I'll never know.
179
00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:12,082
If I had half your looks,
I'd rule the world.
180
00:08:12,516 --> 00:08:13,796
Look, I'm sorry about the robe--
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00:08:13,796 --> 00:08:14,834
I was just so totally
182
00:08:14,834 --> 00:08:15,939
thrilled to be here, that--
183
00:08:15,939 --> 00:08:16,939
Oh, save it for the judges--
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00:08:16,939 --> 00:08:18,265
I'm on a schedule.
185
00:08:22,448 --> 00:08:25,153
That arrow nearly
killed her! And why?
186
00:08:25,949 --> 00:08:27,933
'Cause one of you wants to
stop me from winning,
187
00:08:27,933 --> 00:08:30,311
that's why. It's an insult!
188
00:08:30,559 --> 00:08:31,043
Please--
189
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:32,259
We don't know for a fact that anything--
190
00:08:32,259 --> 00:08:33,038
What about me?!
191
00:08:33,610 --> 00:08:34,806
My girl was assaulted on the beach
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00:08:34,806 --> 00:08:37,235
by thugs one of you hired to
try and stop me from winning!
193
00:08:37,235 --> 00:08:38,682
It's a slur on my honor.
194
00:08:39,007 --> 00:08:41,540
As I said, nothing's been
proven about anyone. So I--
195
00:08:41,540 --> 00:08:42,437
Will you listen to yourselves?
196
00:08:43,788 --> 00:08:44,946
Hissing and moaning,
197
00:08:45,385 --> 00:08:46,007
when it's clear--
198
00:08:46,372 --> 00:08:47,933
my girl is gonna win this one.
199
00:08:53,048 --> 00:08:54,699
Is this a private bash,
200
00:08:54,699 --> 00:08:57,090
or can-- any sponsor join?
201
00:08:57,683 --> 00:08:58,453
You're a sponsor?
202
00:08:58,453 --> 00:08:59,276
That's right.
203
00:08:59,698 --> 00:09:01,920
I am called-- the Marquesa.
204
00:09:02,213 --> 00:09:03,636
And from what I just hear,
205
00:09:03,636 --> 00:09:06,715
I am a lot better sponsor
than any of you.
206
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:10,097
Your contestant
is nearly killed,
207
00:09:10,097 --> 00:09:12,094
and it's you who's insulted.
208
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,419
Get a life!
209
00:09:14,042 --> 00:09:16,812
And yours is attacked,
but it's your disgrace?
210
00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:18,619
Give me a break.
211
00:09:19,581 --> 00:09:21,544
And I suppose
if yours gets hurt,
212
00:09:21,544 --> 00:09:23,034
it'd be about you, too.
213
00:09:23,418 --> 00:09:27,401
Well, all I can say to
you three is-- Hmmm!
214
00:09:29,353 --> 00:09:30,743
Clear the runway,
215
00:09:30,743 --> 00:09:32,479
'cause my contestant is going to
216
00:09:32,479 --> 00:09:35,642
wipe_ the floor with all of you.
217
00:09:36,249 --> 00:09:37,652
And just who is your contestant?
218
00:09:38,455 --> 00:09:40,236
Her name's Miss Amphipolis.
219
00:09:40,515 --> 00:09:42,534
Oh, her being sponsored
by a woman.
220
00:09:43,251 --> 00:09:43,938
I'll say.
221
00:09:43,938 --> 00:09:46,160
You wouldn't think a woman
would put you through all this,
222
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,562
just to win some silly contest.
223
00:09:47,782 --> 00:09:49,530
I just keep focused
on the extra food
224
00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:51,045
my village will get if I win.
225
00:09:51,706 --> 00:09:52,881
The Palatine promised.
226
00:09:53,108 --> 00:09:56,024
Well-- nobody twisted
my arm to be here.
227
00:09:56,797 --> 00:10:00,013
I'm gonna use this thing to get
as far away from here as possible.
228
00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:01,501
And all I can say is,
229
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,968
Miss Amphipolis better
not get in my way.
230
00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:05,375
Thanks for the warning.
231
00:10:06,202 --> 00:10:07,649
I'll have to keep that in mind.
232
00:10:09,532 --> 00:10:10,421
Do that.
233
00:10:10,936 --> 00:10:12,505
I gotta go.
234
00:10:12,725 --> 00:10:14,330
Too much steam might
turn all pruney.
235
00:10:15,174 --> 00:10:15,989
Yeah, me too.
236
00:10:15,989 --> 00:10:17,954
Besides, it's nearly time
for the first event.
237
00:10:23,944 --> 00:10:26,197
Sounds like this pageant
means a lot to you, huh?
238
00:10:26,197 --> 00:10:29,010
No-- but winning it does.
239
00:10:29,364 --> 00:10:32,291
And you can bet--
I'll do whatever it takes.
240
00:10:41,403 --> 00:10:43,639
Was it something I said? Hmm.
241
00:11:15,271 --> 00:11:17,732
Xena. It's about time,
keeping us all waiting!
242
00:11:19,654 --> 00:11:20,215
Where is she?
243
00:11:20,215 --> 00:11:20,937
She's not back?
244
00:11:20,937 --> 00:11:21,624
No!
245
00:11:21,624 --> 00:11:22,561
Ha-ha. You know--
246
00:11:22,764 --> 00:11:23,528
if she misses this,
247
00:11:23,528 --> 00:11:24,265
she's out of the pageant--
248
00:11:24,265 --> 00:11:25,549
No ifs, ands, or buts.
249
00:11:25,795 --> 00:11:28,659
Gone, finito out!
250
00:11:28,659 --> 00:11:29,716
I know that.
251
00:11:30,550 --> 00:11:31,362
So do those warlords.
252
00:11:32,113 --> 00:11:33,268
You should've seen the
253
00:11:33,268 --> 00:11:34,334
way they acted-- like,
254
00:11:34,334 --> 00:11:35,890
this-- this contest was
all about them and
255
00:11:35,890 --> 00:11:36,860
how great they are.
256
00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:38,326
And I'm telling you,
257
00:11:38,326 --> 00:11:39,704
they'll do anything to win.
258
00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:41,194
That's unusually
perceptive of you.
259
00:11:41,194 --> 00:11:41,811
The question is,
260
00:11:41,811 --> 00:11:42,639
which one is it?
261
00:11:42,639 --> 00:11:43,529
I wish I knew.
262
00:11:43,529 --> 00:11:44,613
I wish I could stay.
263
00:11:44,877 --> 00:11:45,812
But I've got a show to emcee.
264
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:46,891
If Xena gets back,
265
00:11:46,891 --> 00:11:48,413
get her dressed
and down to the stage fast.
266
00:11:48,413 --> 00:11:51,140
If she doesn't stay in to
keep this thing on the level,
267
00:11:51,140 --> 00:11:53,139
we're allgoners-- bye-bye!
268
00:12:06,764 --> 00:12:07,745
Come on everybody!
269
00:12:08,243 --> 00:12:10,135
Give it up for
Miss Artifice, huh?
270
00:12:13,339 --> 00:12:15,134
Come on, a big hand
for Miss Artifice--
271
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:16,167
come on!
272
00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:24,782
Let's hear it for all
our contestants!
273
00:12:31,189 --> 00:12:33,048
Yes! And now, it gives me great
274
00:12:33,048 --> 00:12:36,577
pleasure to present to
you our last contestant,
275
00:12:37,065 --> 00:12:38,850
Miss Amphipolis!
276
00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:50,021
Xena? Is that really you?
Brilliant disguise.
277
00:13:50,968 --> 00:13:51,679
Sorry--
278
00:13:52,474 --> 00:13:54,053
What happened?
You were almost disqualified.
279
00:13:55,381 --> 00:13:56,939
Which is exactly what
somebody wanted.
280
00:13:57,313 --> 00:13:59,283
Did she tell you that she was
locked in the steam room?
281
00:13:59,613 --> 00:14:00,892
Someone tried to saute' you?
282
00:14:01,635 --> 00:14:04,835
Yes-- and I think I know who.
283
00:14:12,256 --> 00:14:14,282
Looking for this?
284
00:14:18,834 --> 00:14:20,381
Now, I want some
straight answers.
285
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,708
Have you got
the wrong girl!
286
00:14:22,704 --> 00:14:24,385
OK, OK, I was just kidding.
287
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:25,548
Where's your
sense of humor?
288
00:14:25,786 --> 00:14:27,442
Gee, I guess I must have sweated it out.
289
00:14:27,694 --> 00:14:28,976
Is that your
idea of funny, too?
290
00:14:29,254 --> 00:14:30,727
I was just trying
to scare you.
291
00:14:31,195 --> 00:14:32,226
Why'd you want to scare me?
292
00:14:32,627 --> 00:14:33,987
Because I knew you knew.
293
00:14:34,349 --> 00:14:35,350
You know, about me.
294
00:14:35,970 --> 00:14:37,227
And I didn't want
you to tell anyone.
295
00:14:37,227 --> 00:14:38,254
But when I came
back to unlock
296
00:14:38,254 --> 00:14:39,446
the door, you had
already gone.
297
00:14:40,415 --> 00:14:41,885
What made you
think I'd tell?
298
00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:43,931
You really don't get it, do you?
299
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:45,785
I guess being born a
300
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,237
woman, you wouldn't.
301
00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:49,541
This is a chance to use
a part of me most
302
00:14:49,541 --> 00:14:52,336
people usually laugh at--
or worse.
303
00:14:53,568 --> 00:14:54,676
The part I usually
have to hide--
304
00:14:55,604 --> 00:14:58,367
only here that part
works for me-- you see?
305
00:14:59,958 --> 00:15:00,955
I think so.
306
00:15:01,410 --> 00:15:02,711
Look-- I don't expect
you to understand.
307
00:15:03,394 --> 00:15:05,166
And I'm sorry
I got you steamed.
308
00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:06,910
I just hope you let me
quit the pageant in
309
00:15:06,910 --> 00:15:08,924
private instead of
going public with it.
310
00:15:08,924 --> 00:15:13,834
No way.
May the best person win.
311
00:15:16,636 --> 00:15:18,115
What else can I do?
312
00:15:18,337 --> 00:15:19,584
We've always been neutral, even
313
00:15:19,584 --> 00:15:20,457
during the war.
314
00:15:20,457 --> 00:15:22,104
That's why there's
no army to call out--
315
00:15:22,474 --> 00:15:23,151
Just some reserves,
316
00:15:23,151 --> 00:15:24,336
and I'm using all I've got.
317
00:15:24,596 --> 00:15:26,223
Then you'd better draft more,
318
00:15:26,521 --> 00:15:28,347
or I'll be forced to
bring in my own men.
319
00:15:28,568 --> 00:15:30,493
If he brings in his men, so do I.
320
00:15:30,493 --> 00:15:31,210
And I.
321
00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:33,711
Will you listen to yourselves.
322
00:15:34,677 --> 00:15:38,989
Now, how do you think the
contestants feel under all this pressure?
323
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:40,414
Who cares?
324
00:15:40,895 --> 00:15:41,935
As long as mine wins.
325
00:15:41,935 --> 00:15:44,367
I told mine, I don't care if she wins--
326
00:15:45,269 --> 00:15:46,696
I just don't want her to lose.
327
00:15:47,025 --> 00:15:48,195
Very understanding.
328
00:15:48,855 --> 00:15:49,975
Why, what'd you tell yours?
329
00:15:51,427 --> 00:15:53,459
I do not tell her anything.
330
00:15:54,069 --> 00:15:57,837
We are a team. I ask.
331
00:15:59,396 --> 00:16:02,697
Yeah, right! One more incident--
332
00:16:02,697 --> 00:16:04,817
I'm bringing in my troops.
333
00:16:06,492 --> 00:16:07,682
That makes two of us.
334
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,521
I'll send out a call for
more volunteers--
335
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:14,973
Marquesa.
336
00:16:15,573 --> 00:16:16,270
Yes?
337
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:19,190
That asking stuff--
that works for you?
338
00:16:19,505 --> 00:16:21,052
Every time.
339
00:16:24,646 --> 00:16:26,445
Hmm.
340
00:16:29,201 --> 00:16:31,754
Remember--
a beauty pageant is like a war.
341
00:16:32,112 --> 00:16:35,345
To win, you've gotta be fired
with the heat of competition!
342
00:16:35,766 --> 00:16:38,532
The power!
The passion!
343
00:16:39,925 --> 00:16:41,691
The desire to win.
344
00:16:42,219 --> 00:16:43,985
Gabrielle, we're not here to win.
345
00:16:44,411 --> 00:16:45,586
We're here to stop a war.
346
00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:47,300
Yeah sure--
347
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:48,671
but there's no harm in winning--
348
00:16:48,671 --> 00:16:49,647
right?
349
00:16:49,647 --> 00:16:51,954
Follow your moves,
keep it warm,
350
00:16:52,705 --> 00:16:55,596
and whatever happens,
try to stay upright.
351
00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:59,875
OK, let's hit it!
A-one, two, three.
352
00:17:05,445 --> 00:17:10,066
'Like soft gentle winds that
will blow through your hair;
353
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:14,817
Like fire that warms you
when no one else cares;
354
00:17:15,036 --> 00:17:19,292
Like flowers that bloom from
the Earth in the spring;
355
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:24,440
A woman's a natural thing.
356
00:17:26,159 --> 00:17:26,947
Ow! Watch it!
357
00:17:26,947 --> 00:17:30,959
'Like flora and fauna
that brighten your day;
358
00:17:31,287 --> 00:17:36,223
Like water we drink, and
the sea where we play;
359
00:17:36,584 --> 00:17:41,903
Like dragonflies riding
the air on their wings;
360
00:17:42,676 --> 00:17:44,873
A woman's a natural thing.
361
00:17:44,873 --> 00:17:46,254
'So give thanks and give praise
362
00:17:46,254 --> 00:17:47,732
To the gods for their bounty.
363
00:17:47,732 --> 00:17:49,068
And thanks to Athena
364
00:17:49,381 --> 00:17:50,772
From city and county.
365
00:17:50,772 --> 00:17:53,910
But most of all honor
the goddess, Demeter,
366
00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:57,664
With flowers and songs and
with crops that will feed her.
367
00:17:58,589 --> 00:18:03,928
To her we will lift up our
cups as we say-ay--
368
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:06,566
A woman's a natural thing-- yeah!'
369
00:18:17,711 --> 00:18:21,318
OK, take five. I'll work with
you slowly in small groups.
370
00:18:27,072 --> 00:18:28,310
You move very well.
371
00:18:29,154 --> 00:18:29,757
Thanks.
372
00:18:30,038 --> 00:18:30,809
You look familiar.
373
00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:31,967
Have we met before?
374
00:18:32,259 --> 00:18:33,795
I'm sure I would've remembered.
375
00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:36,012
Well, then, allow me
to introduce myself.
376
00:18:36,012 --> 00:18:38,102
I'm the Palatine of Parnassus.
377
00:18:38,977 --> 00:18:40,290
Miss Amphipolis.
378
00:18:47,538 --> 00:18:49,365
You keep your greasy
lips off my arm--
379
00:18:50,983 --> 00:18:51,946
and apologize.
380
00:18:52,761 --> 00:18:53,687
I'm sorry.
381
00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:57,646
Not to me-- to her.
382
00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:07,680
We're not done,
you and me--
383
00:19:08,256 --> 00:19:09,649
not by a long shot.
384
00:19:18,212 --> 00:19:20,352
Next, we have Miss Skyros.
385
00:19:20,684 --> 00:19:22,093
As cool as the marble her
386
00:19:22,093 --> 00:19:23,218
country is known for,
387
00:19:23,218 --> 00:19:25,102
Miss Skyros' hobbies
include music,
388
00:19:25,548 --> 00:19:29,030
exotic dancing,
and sacrificing to the gods.
389
00:19:29,030 --> 00:19:30,201
Her favorite deity--
390
00:19:30,415 --> 00:19:31,931
Aphrodite!
391
00:19:31,931 --> 00:19:34,801
Let's hear it for
Miss Skyros,everybody.
392
00:19:41,121 --> 00:19:41,857
Next up,
393
00:19:41,857 --> 00:19:44,060
we have Miss Amphipolis.
394
00:19:44,886 --> 00:19:46,463
A country girl at heart,
395
00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:48,561
she enjoys the
simple things in life--
396
00:19:49,173 --> 00:19:51,434
weaving tapestries,
making candles,
397
00:19:51,809 --> 00:19:52,984
and doing volunteer work
398
00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:55,105
with her local Hestian virgins.
399
00:19:56,464 --> 00:19:59,717
Put 'em together for the
phenomenal Miss Amphipolis.
400
00:20:05,792 --> 00:20:07,111
Wait! That woman!
401
00:20:07,842 --> 00:20:08,792
She's not a contestant!
402
00:20:08,792 --> 00:20:10,625
That's Xena, Warrior Princess!
403
00:20:18,564 --> 00:20:19,933
She's a hired mercenary!
404
00:20:20,479 --> 00:20:21,433
It's a breech of the peace!
405
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,764
This means war! Arrest her!
406
00:20:24,122 --> 00:20:25,280
Arrest the Warrior Princess!
407
00:20:25,533 --> 00:20:26,894
Right. Take her away.
408
00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:33,445
Honey, I'm no princess--
I'm a Queen.
409
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:43,485
Actually, folks, this lanky
beauty is our last contestant,
410
00:20:43,485 --> 00:20:45,054
Miss Artifice,
411
00:20:45,376 --> 00:20:48,165
whose hobbies include
archery, horse-breeding,
412
00:20:48,165 --> 00:20:49,770
and knowing
the complete score
413
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,344
to every musical ever written.
414
00:20:51,735 --> 00:20:54,504
Put 'em together for
Miss Artifice, everybody.
415
00:21:06,984 --> 00:21:08,204
Thank you.
416
00:21:09,299 --> 00:21:11,252
People, people--
Please, please.
417
00:21:11,755 --> 00:21:14,146
I have the preliminary
decision right here.
418
00:21:16,705 --> 00:21:19,306
Ladies, when I read
out your names,
419
00:21:19,306 --> 00:21:21,711
will you please step forward.
420
00:21:21,711 --> 00:21:22,850
Here they are.
421
00:21:23,380 --> 00:21:25,459
The five semi-finalists
for the crown
422
00:21:25,459 --> 00:21:31,115
of Miss Known World: Miss Messini.
423
00:21:44,464 --> 00:21:47,276
Miss Skyros.
424
00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:01,762
Miss Parnassus.
425
00:22:12,405 --> 00:22:14,840
Miss Artifice.
426
00:22:23,567 --> 00:22:25,655
And last, but not least--
427
00:22:28,467 --> 00:22:31,046
Miss Amphipolis.
428
00:22:36,809 --> 00:22:39,330
Yes! Brilliant! You go girl!
429
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:41,528
Miss A all the way!
430
00:22:42,982 --> 00:22:44,188
There they are--
431
00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:47,230
the five semifinalists
for the title of
432
00:22:47,230 --> 00:22:50,062
Miss Known World!
433
00:22:50,062 --> 00:22:54,251
Yes! Yes, come on, yes!
434
00:23:00,202 --> 00:23:01,394
I'm happy for you.
435
00:23:07,936 --> 00:23:11,190
How did you-- Why?
436
00:23:11,859 --> 00:23:13,448
I guess we both
got our secrets.
437
00:23:14,295 --> 00:23:15,560
Thanks for keeping mine.
438
00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,235
Now, don't forget to come
back for our final round--
439
00:23:21,235 --> 00:23:23,084
the talent competition.
440
00:23:27,485 --> 00:23:29,327
I don't understand
why you won't sing.
441
00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:31,732
You would be a
shoe-in if you did.
442
00:23:31,732 --> 00:23:33,485
Gabrielle, I've told you before--
443
00:23:33,485 --> 00:23:34,544
I sing when I'm moved--
444
00:23:34,544 --> 00:23:35,686
when there's something behind it.
445
00:23:35,686 --> 00:23:37,108
It's not about performance.
446
00:23:37,652 --> 00:23:40,703
As a bard and a fellow creative
artist, I can understand that.
447
00:23:40,980 --> 00:23:42,784
Which, just leaves us one question--
448
00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:45,093
What _can_ you do?
449
00:23:46,173 --> 00:23:47,309
I don't know.
450
00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:50,656
Finding out who's sabotaging
things would be a great start.
451
00:23:51,110 --> 00:23:52,018
Next time they strike,
452
00:23:52,018 --> 00:23:53,110
someone could get killed.
453
00:23:53,110 --> 00:23:53,985
Yeah-- you.
454
00:23:53,985 --> 00:23:56,413
Whoever is doing this
wants to get to those
455
00:23:56,413 --> 00:23:57,598
warlord beauties.
456
00:23:57,598 --> 00:23:58,683
And how better to do it,
457
00:23:58,683 --> 00:24:00,059
than to just, you know, you!
458
00:24:02,060 --> 00:24:03,750
You just gave me a great idea.
459
00:24:03,750 --> 00:24:05,396
About how to catch
whoever's doing this?
460
00:24:05,396 --> 00:24:08,216
No-- about what
to do for my talent.
461
00:24:13,467 --> 00:24:15,016
What are you doing here?
462
00:24:15,794 --> 00:24:17,047
That is, I thought you'd be
463
00:24:17,047 --> 00:24:18,766
rehearsing for the talent event.
464
00:24:20,029 --> 00:24:22,127
And aren't you supposed
to be at the meeting?
465
00:24:24,531 --> 00:24:25,693
What meeting?
466
00:24:26,169 --> 00:24:28,327
I was made to look like a fool!
467
00:24:29,390 --> 00:24:31,000
A fairly simple task.
468
00:24:31,205 --> 00:24:32,282
Oho! You should talk.
469
00:24:34,721 --> 00:24:36,170
Gentlemen, gentlemen,
470
00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:38,943
please-- This is not
solving the problem.
471
00:24:38,943 --> 00:24:40,096
He is right--
472
00:24:40,817 --> 00:24:43,483
this stunt Miss Artifice
pulled only show
473
00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:45,267
how on edge things are.
474
00:24:45,614 --> 00:24:47,358
It was a joke, for Zeus' sake.
475
00:24:47,833 --> 00:24:50,536
It is nothing to call the troops in for.
476
00:24:50,536 --> 00:24:52,156
Maybe not-- but,
477
00:24:52,156 --> 00:24:54,221
what about everything else
our girls have been through?
478
00:24:55,271 --> 00:24:57,656
At least, most of our girls.
479
00:24:58,609 --> 00:25:00,050
Can I help it if mine's lucky.
480
00:25:00,546 --> 00:25:02,287
I'm beginning to think
maybe you can.
481
00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:10,094
Yeah-- funny how nothing's
happened to your contestant--yet.
482
00:25:11,381 --> 00:25:12,968
She gets so much as a hang-nail--
483
00:25:13,564 --> 00:25:15,191
I won't wait for the judges.
484
00:25:15,423 --> 00:25:16,881
I'll make my own declaration--
485
00:25:17,376 --> 00:25:18,281
and it'll be war.
486
00:25:19,642 --> 00:25:21,188
Well, that goes double for me.
487
00:25:24,321 --> 00:25:26,047
I'm gonna go and
beef up stage security.
488
00:25:27,938 --> 00:25:29,093
Look what you do!
489
00:25:29,332 --> 00:25:30,032
Me?
490
00:25:30,032 --> 00:25:32,395
Yes-- frightening
Miss Skyros like this.
491
00:25:32,807 --> 00:25:33,907
What is it with you three?
492
00:25:33,907 --> 00:25:35,389
Always threats, ultimatums.
493
00:25:36,172 --> 00:25:39,669
You are here to celebrate
the peace and work together.
494
00:25:40,075 --> 00:25:42,059
Now, just shut up and do it!
495
00:25:44,872 --> 00:25:46,220
This is sabotage!
496
00:25:46,888 --> 00:25:48,771
Gabrielle, it's just a bad dress.
497
00:25:48,771 --> 00:25:49,830
Bad dress-- Xena,
498
00:25:49,830 --> 00:25:50,894
chiffon is bad,
499
00:25:50,894 --> 00:25:53,237
chartreuse is bad,
but this is a disaster.
500
00:25:53,237 --> 00:25:55,529
You will be eliminated
halfway down the catwalk.
501
00:25:55,529 --> 00:25:56,435
Calm down!
502
00:25:57,309 --> 00:26:00,953
Look-- if it really bothers you, I'll fix it.
503
00:26:10,095 --> 00:26:11,347
It's-- getting better.
504
00:26:14,508 --> 00:26:15,942
You're pretty good with a knife--
505
00:26:19,953 --> 00:26:21,864
for a contestant, that is.
506
00:26:22,875 --> 00:26:25,637
Well-- I have many skills.
507
00:26:45,436 --> 00:26:49,617
Well-- it's not Sophocles,
but it'll have to do.
508
00:26:54,472 --> 00:26:59,172
Miss Messini?
What happened?
509
00:27:00,225 --> 00:27:01,031
Nothing, I'm fine.
510
00:27:02,111 --> 00:27:03,707
Really, just a little
something in my eye.
511
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:05,907
That's all.
512
00:27:05,907 --> 00:27:07,689
Oh-- I guess we're all kind
of keyed up, you know?
513
00:27:07,689 --> 00:27:09,846
Wondering about who's gonna
win the pageant and all, huh?
514
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:14,908
No-- I think it's a crock.
515
00:27:15,792 --> 00:27:16,612
You do?
516
00:27:18,651 --> 00:27:21,172
We all do-- except for you.
517
00:27:21,996 --> 00:27:23,480
But then, you're not
from around here.
518
00:27:23,902 --> 00:27:27,113
You can't know how stupid
something like this seems,
519
00:27:27,113 --> 00:27:30,221
when you've been through a war
where it was a fight just to survive.
520
00:27:30,634 --> 00:27:33,183
Well, if that's how you all feel,
then why are you here?
521
00:27:34,905 --> 00:27:36,362
Different reasons--
522
00:27:39,335 --> 00:27:40,820
Miss Parnassus made a deal.
523
00:27:42,700 --> 00:27:44,224
If she wins, the Palatine will give
524
00:27:44,224 --> 00:27:46,847
her village extra food
for this coming winter.
525
00:27:47,301 --> 00:27:48,752
Or Miss Skyros--
526
00:27:49,135 --> 00:27:50,673
the war was so terrible--
527
00:27:52,426 --> 00:27:53,598
and the memories.
528
00:27:56,834 --> 00:27:59,286
She wants to get away, so
she's using this pageant to do it.
529
00:28:00,255 --> 00:28:02,267
And you?
Why'd you enter?
530
00:28:03,175 --> 00:28:04,133
I didn't.
531
00:28:05,555 --> 00:28:08,723
My boyf--
my sponsor entered me.
532
00:28:10,211 --> 00:28:11,948
I guess I could've said no--
533
00:28:14,538 --> 00:28:16,191
but it just seemed to
mean so much to him that
534
00:28:16,191 --> 00:28:17,802
I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
535
00:28:18,149 --> 00:28:19,707
What about your feelings--
536
00:28:20,442 --> 00:28:21,647
Don't they count?
537
00:28:22,943 --> 00:28:24,112
They never have before.
538
00:28:28,491 --> 00:28:29,602
I mean, he loves me--
539
00:28:31,130 --> 00:28:31,465
but he's so
540
00:28:31,724 --> 00:28:33,617
hung up on the way I look,
you know?
541
00:28:34,786 --> 00:28:38,013
That it's hard for him to see
past that to the person underneath.
542
00:28:41,804 --> 00:28:44,071
But, then I guess a lot of
people make that mistake--
543
00:28:45,523 --> 00:28:47,005
don't you?
544
00:28:48,882 --> 00:28:50,493
I know they do--
545
00:28:51,581 --> 00:28:53,492
but you can change that.
546
00:28:53,711 --> 00:28:54,651
Tell him how you feel.
547
00:28:54,651 --> 00:28:56,005
You're entitled.
548
00:28:59,552 --> 00:29:00,916
You think so?
549
00:29:01,732 --> 00:29:06,069
I know so-- So should you.
550
00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:53,018
What am I doing in there?
551
00:29:53,018 --> 00:29:54,654
Don't know. I can't see any--
552
00:30:02,156 --> 00:30:04,230
Well-- good luck.
553
00:30:04,503 --> 00:30:05,877
I make my own luck.
554
00:30:06,701 --> 00:30:09,444
Then you don't need a pageant
to change it, do you?
555
00:30:13,528 --> 00:30:14,421
There you are.
556
00:30:14,785 --> 00:30:16,092
They've pushed up
the talent event.
557
00:30:16,092 --> 00:30:16,887
It's already started.
558
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:18,376
Come on.
559
00:30:26,111 --> 00:30:27,111
Yes!
560
00:30:33,362 --> 00:30:34,842
Thank you, Miss Messini,
561
00:30:34,842 --> 00:30:36,654
for that lovely rendition of--
562
00:30:38,064 --> 00:30:40,222
whatever that song
you just played was.
563
00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:43,544
Miss Messini, everybody!
564
00:30:47,845 --> 00:30:50,516
And now, Miss Artifice!
565
00:31:03,453 --> 00:31:04,535
Any trouble so far?
566
00:31:04,535 --> 00:31:05,788
Nothing a hook wouldn't solve.
567
00:31:05,788 --> 00:31:06,938
If you mean danger, not yet.
568
00:31:07,750 --> 00:31:08,671
Maybe we scared
off the people
569
00:31:08,671 --> 00:31:09,860
who were trying
to get the girls.
570
00:31:10,267 --> 00:31:11,219
Maybe
571
00:31:11,219 --> 00:31:11,938
but my fear is,
572
00:31:11,938 --> 00:31:13,474
they'll switch to
targeting warlords.
573
00:31:13,474 --> 00:31:14,724
Wait!
574
00:31:25,429 --> 00:31:26,227
Now!
575
00:31:26,227 --> 00:31:28,731
We have an act that's
sure to be a real charmer
576
00:31:29,247 --> 00:31:31,489
Miss Skyros!
577
00:31:53,116 --> 00:31:54,374
Why the rush on this event?
578
00:31:54,374 --> 00:31:55,807
Don't ask me-- Ask him.
579
00:31:55,807 --> 00:31:57,354
He's the one who ordered it.
580
00:32:42,462 --> 00:32:43,762
Thank you. Ta-da! Ta-da!
581
00:33:04,092 --> 00:33:05,464
What does she think
she's doing, huh?
582
00:33:05,464 --> 00:33:07,637
She certainly picked a fine time
583
00:33:07,637 --> 00:33:08,997
to go touring
around the castle.
584
00:33:08,997 --> 00:33:10,451
Doesn't she know it's
dangerous out there?
585
00:33:10,451 --> 00:33:11,161
She'll be fine.
586
00:33:22,844 --> 00:33:25,250
Now, the good news is that
she's a cinch to win, and then
587
00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:26,921
this is over, and
we're home free.
588
00:33:26,921 --> 00:33:28,705
Yeah-- unless something
happens to her.
589
00:33:28,705 --> 00:33:30,130
Then we're not so home free.
590
00:33:32,952 --> 00:33:34,153
No one else knows
she's at the castle
591
00:33:34,153 --> 00:33:35,404
it's perfectly safe.
592
00:33:35,404 --> 00:33:37,162
Now, just don't worry.
593
00:33:51,116 --> 00:33:52,546
Miss Amphipolis.
594
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,063
I'm Lord Claron.
595
00:33:54,539 --> 00:33:55,367
Oh.
596
00:33:55,579 --> 00:33:56,598
Congratulations.
597
00:33:57,082 --> 00:33:58,500
I'd stake my life that
the judges will
598
00:33:58,500 --> 00:33:59,846
choose you as the winner.
599
00:34:00,879 --> 00:34:02,377
Well, that's very
kind of you to say.
600
00:34:02,377 --> 00:34:03,222
Not at all.
601
00:34:03,571 --> 00:34:05,862
In fact-- kindness has
nothying to do with it.
602
00:34:07,050 --> 00:34:08,769
I said that I'd stake
my life, where in fact
603
00:34:09,708 --> 00:34:10,405
I'm staking yours.
604
00:34:10,812 --> 00:34:11,758
What are you doing?
605
00:34:12,545 --> 00:34:13,627
You wouldn't understand.
606
00:34:13,940 --> 00:34:14,951
You weren't here for the war,
607
00:34:14,951 --> 00:34:17,085
when our neutrality
made this country rich.
608
00:34:17,305 --> 00:34:19,335
You made a profit out of
death and suffering?
609
00:34:19,721 --> 00:34:21,250
Let's just say we filled a need.
610
00:34:21,692 --> 00:34:22,594
And then the peace came
611
00:34:22,594 --> 00:34:23,865
and the good times were gone.
612
00:34:24,070 --> 00:34:25,250
That's why we need another war
613
00:34:26,256 --> 00:34:27,828
to bring back the prosperity.
614
00:34:29,192 --> 00:34:30,930
And that's why you have to die.
615
00:34:32,587 --> 00:34:33,081
So you're the one
616
00:34:33,081 --> 00:34:34,551
who's sabotaging
this pageant?
617
00:34:35,724 --> 00:34:36,472
Can you think of a better
618
00:34:36,472 --> 00:34:37,506
way to get these fools to
619
00:34:37,506 --> 00:34:39,726
fight again without
arousing suspicion?
620
00:34:41,074 --> 00:34:42,331
As a matter of fact, I can't.
621
00:34:43,833 --> 00:34:45,550
But, why don't we ask
the fools themselves?
622
00:34:51,284 --> 00:34:52,644
But, how did you--?
623
00:34:53,192 --> 00:34:54,418
-- know it was you?
624
00:34:54,770 --> 00:34:56,426
Only the guy who rigged it could
625
00:34:56,426 --> 00:34:57,746
have looked up at that beam.
626
00:34:57,746 --> 00:34:58,957
And as for the security
you were adding
627
00:34:59,701 --> 00:35:01,973
well, there wasn't
a guard in sight.
628
00:35:03,711 --> 00:35:07,107
You surprise me
I had no idea that a
629
00:35:07,835 --> 00:35:09,165
beauty contestant could be
630
00:35:09,766 --> 00:35:13,431
more than the sum of her
well-assembled parts.
631
00:35:14,555 --> 00:35:15,822
Neither did I.
632
00:35:17,116 --> 00:35:18,400
Hmm. Now, be smart
633
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:19,743
and maybe I won't have to--
634
00:35:20,492 --> 00:35:22,434
disassemble you, hmm?
635
00:35:23,509 --> 00:35:24,528
Trust me
636
00:35:25,242 --> 00:35:26,994
you don't wanna make me angry.
637
00:35:27,344 --> 00:35:28,929
Oh-- on the contrary
638
00:35:30,334 --> 00:35:31,901
I'm looking forward to it.
639
00:35:32,756 --> 00:35:33,652
OK.
640
00:35:37,465 --> 00:35:38,963
Are we having fun yet?
641
00:35:43,699 --> 00:35:45,199
Oops!
642
00:35:54,873 --> 00:35:56,496
Don't hate me 'cause
I'm beautiful.
643
00:36:02,927 --> 00:36:03,562
Xena!
644
00:36:04,670 --> 00:36:06,239
Xena!Xena!Xena!
645
00:36:07,755 --> 00:36:09,799
Uh,I mean Miss Amphipolis.
646
00:36:10,802 --> 00:36:11,866
It's all right,Gabrielle
647
00:36:12,743 --> 00:36:14,596
I think we all know
who's who now.
648
00:36:14,882 --> 00:36:15,642
Not quite
649
00:36:15,894 --> 00:36:17,037
the judges have voted
650
00:36:17,701 --> 00:36:19,639
and they're ready to
crown a winner.
651
00:36:28,940 --> 00:36:31,146
I have here the final results of
652
00:36:31,146 --> 00:36:34,195
the first Miss Known World Pageant.
653
00:36:34,428 --> 00:36:35,283
Now, if for any reason,
654
00:36:35,283 --> 00:36:37,210
the winner is unable
to perform her duties
655
00:36:37,769 --> 00:36:39,105
like, she isn't here!
656
00:36:39,971 --> 00:36:40,723
Then the crown will
657
00:36:40,723 --> 00:36:42,005
go to the first runner-up,
658
00:36:42,459 --> 00:36:43,708
and so on down the line.
659
00:36:44,595 --> 00:36:45,722
Is that understood?
660
00:36:46,190 --> 00:36:47,099
Perfectly.
661
00:36:48,197 --> 00:36:49,006
Xena!
662
00:36:49,581 --> 00:36:51,009
What have you done
with Miss Amphipolis?!
663
00:36:51,524 --> 00:36:53,710
She's withdrawn from the pageant.
664
00:36:54,959 --> 00:36:55,307
What?
665
00:36:55,526 --> 00:36:56,335
She told me to say
666
00:36:56,335 --> 00:36:57,601
that she's learned
a lot from all of you
667
00:36:58,474 --> 00:36:59,853
but it's time that she moved on.
668
00:37:00,537 --> 00:37:01,065
B-b-b-but--
669
00:37:01,065 --> 00:37:01,800
she can't!
670
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:02,989
I have the ballot right here!
671
00:37:03,864 --> 00:37:04,957
And, uh-- uh-oh!
672
00:37:04,957 --> 00:37:06,255
She won! See?!
673
00:37:06,255 --> 00:37:07,151
She can't quit now.
674
00:37:07,151 --> 00:37:08,143
She just did.
675
00:37:09,100 --> 00:37:09,818
Right.
676
00:37:11,002 --> 00:37:14,005
That means the winner
will be our first runner-up,
677
00:37:14,005 --> 00:37:15,101
and that is--
678
00:37:15,101 --> 00:37:18,789
Wait! I quit, too.
679
00:37:19,382 --> 00:37:20,551
What?!
680
00:37:21,005 --> 00:37:21,846
That's right.
681
00:37:22,425 --> 00:37:23,862
I thought I needed
this crown to get away
682
00:37:23,862 --> 00:37:25,645
from a lot of bad luck.
683
00:37:27,527 --> 00:37:28,460
It turns out all I need
684
00:37:29,131 --> 00:37:30,317
is myself
685
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,038
and, maybe someone
to remind me of that
686
00:37:34,629 --> 00:37:35,683
once in a while.
687
00:37:41,427 --> 00:37:43,556
OK, moving on down the line.
688
00:37:44,063 --> 00:37:46,590
Ah! I see that our winner is--
689
00:37:46,590 --> 00:37:52,220
Wait! Me too-- I quit, too.
690
00:37:52,539 --> 00:37:53,561
What is this, catching?
691
00:37:54,261 --> 00:37:55,103
You heard her
692
00:37:55,306 --> 00:37:56,038
she wants to quit.
693
00:37:56,038 --> 00:37:57,461
You got a problem with that?
694
00:37:57,461 --> 00:37:59,187
No, sir-- uh-uh!
695
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:00,538
Especially because,
696
00:38:00,869 --> 00:38:03,967
I think we have a
winner right here.
697
00:38:04,198 --> 00:38:05,945
Then think again.
698
00:38:07,039 --> 00:38:07,917
We had a deal!
699
00:38:08,950 --> 00:38:10,071
You put yourself before your family,
700
00:38:10,071 --> 00:38:11,525
your village?
You'll let them starve?
701
00:38:11,821 --> 00:38:13,166
No, I won't let them starve.
702
00:38:13,996 --> 00:38:15,200
I'll help them plant, and--
703
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:16,509
and plow, and harvest,
704
00:38:16,509 --> 00:38:17,400
with all my strength,
705
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:18,212
year after year,
706
00:38:18,212 --> 00:38:19,293
until we get through this.
707
00:38:19,750 --> 00:38:20,993
But to give away my pride
708
00:38:21,579 --> 00:38:24,373
and my dignity,
for one winter's food?
709
00:38:25,418 --> 00:38:26,496
Where's the good in that?
710
00:38:28,044 --> 00:38:28,763
She has a point
711
00:38:29,121 --> 00:38:29,793
which means
712
00:38:30,186 --> 00:38:31,361
that our winner is
713
00:38:34,298 --> 00:38:36,305
Miss Artifice!
714
00:38:39,665 --> 00:38:40,510
Thank you.
715
00:38:40,950 --> 00:38:42,184
You really saved my assets.
716
00:38:44,369 --> 00:38:45,405
You are something else.
717
00:38:45,862 --> 00:38:46,980
You have no idea.
718
00:38:49,558 --> 00:38:50,463
Ladies and gentlemen,
719
00:38:51,043 --> 00:38:51,956
may I present to you,
720
00:38:51,956 --> 00:38:53,809
on her inaugural
walk down our runway,
721
00:38:54,138 --> 00:38:56,549
your Miss Known World
722
00:39:00,527 --> 00:39:03,010
'Stand back,
and let her through.
723
00:39:03,265 --> 00:39:06,642
She's the one girl who'll do.
724
00:39:06,891 --> 00:39:08,315
A beauty so mythic,
725
00:39:08,315 --> 00:39:11,110
Her figure's terrific.
726
00:39:11,339 --> 00:39:15,590
She's Miss Known World.
727
00:39:15,590 --> 00:39:19,833
With a face and a
form so sublime,
728
00:39:20,214 --> 00:39:24,013
She's a legend within
her own time.
729
00:39:24,231 --> 00:39:26,550
So stand back, make way,
730
00:39:26,764 --> 00:39:30,029
Let her smile make your day.
731
00:39:30,807 --> 00:39:31,957
She's Miss Known World.
732
00:40:13,698 --> 00:40:15,441
So, Miss Known World is a man?
733
00:40:15,441 --> 00:40:16,254
Yep.
734
00:40:16,862 --> 00:40:17,738
It's kind of funny, huh?
735
00:40:17,943 --> 00:40:19,538
Why? Beauty is beauty.
736
00:40:20,037 --> 00:40:21,070
And peace is peace.
737
00:40:21,559 --> 00:40:22,959
Are you going to
write about this?
738
00:40:22,959 --> 00:40:25,727
Oh, yes. I was thinking
about calling it,
739
00:40:26,181 --> 00:40:27,496
- 'Queen for a--'
- Gabrielle!
740
00:40:27,737 --> 00:40:28,513
What a drag!
741
00:40:28,513 --> 00:40:29,350
Gabrielle!
742
00:40:29,556 --> 00:40:31,138
OK, OK.
743
00:40:31,138 --> 00:40:31,895
OK, OK.
744
00:40:31,895 --> 00:40:32,855
Captioned by Grantman Brown
50217
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