All language subtitles for Sex.Life.S01E06.Sugar.High.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_Subtitles01.ENG

♪♪♪

♪ Don't care what
you think about it ♪

♪ Ain't here
to please nobody ♪

♪ I'm a-running undercover

♪ Here comes trouble now

♪♪♪

♪ Me and my wicked ways

♪ I'll get you
into trouble now ♪

♪ It's just
so hard to behave ♪

♪ Got you
seeing double now ♪

♪♪♪

♪ I'm the one
your mama told you ♪

♪ Oh, boy,
the world is torture ♪

♪ A risk you can't afford

♪ And here comes trouble now

♪ Turning it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Turning it up all night

♪ Got you feeling high

♪ Get you into trouble now

♪♪♪

- Currently, I am in
a polyamorous relationship.

There is a variety

[ laughing ]
of ways to have sex.

- We just became sexual
about two months ago.

- We went out for dinner,
and you were like,

"I'm dating four guys.
Would you like to be the fifth?"

And I was like, "What?"
- And I said,

"I think you're hot as hell.

"If you're down for these
guidelines, let's try it."

- So right now I'm dating,
like, this married couple

and we had, um,
this really cool threesome.

I guess that's adventurous
to me because they were older.

Like, I've never been
with older people like that.

I was like, "Oh, wow," like,

"This is what
older penis looks like."

[ laughs ]

- You learn
to really love someone

without being possessive,

and I think
that's very important.

- It seems to complicate
the situation.

It's not something
I would want to do,

I have a lot of friends
that have open relationships.

I was actually in
a polyamorous relationship.

In polyamorous relationships,
there's a lot of

emotional work
that needs to be done

with jealousy and insecurity

and time and scheduling,
and I want to be the queen bee.

I've been with multiple girls
at one time.

I've never been
with multiple men.

I would love to do a gang bang.

I've never had a gang bang.
And I like dick, so--

you know, the more dicks,
the merrier.

- I'm Ashley.
- And I'm Timothy.

- I'm Meg.
- Adam.

- Sydney.
- Marvin.

- And this--
- This--

- This--
- And this--

- This is my wild sex life.

Whatever you like to do,
as long as

you're not harming someone,
go ahead and do it.

♪♪♪

- One of the reasons a lot of
people are alone in the world

is 'cause they're waiting
for the perfect person.

What if instead people were
sharing their partners,

their husbands, their wives?

There'd be less lonely people
in the world.

[ moaning ]

For me, polyamory
was about creating

a more connected world
and a world

there was
just more love going around.

- Oh, harder. Fuck me--

- We wanted to create
a community that makes

all of this safe and supportive.

- I'm hoping to inspire people
to reach for something

outside of their comfort zones

to really increase community.

♪♪♪

I was born in Alabama.

I mean, I grew up
a hippie kid in communes

and we had this utopian idea
about the world.

And it's just something
I think I took on

way more than
the rest of my siblings.

Growing up in a sexually
permissive and open family,

I just came by it naturally,
and began to explore.

I'm definitely someone
who's changed a lot

from being solo polyamorous and
a single woman dating couples

or being in a pretty
significant relationship

and having two or three other
significant relationships,

to now being mostly with John.

[ cork pops ]

♪♪♪

- To the last day.

- We've been together
for three and a half years

and we just got married
this past December.

- We do have
an open relationship

in comparison to people who

live strictly monogamously.

We look like any relationship
between two people

who love each other very much

and are monogamous,
except that we aren't.

- Cold!

- When Gabriella and I met,
I was still involved with

one or two other people,
and Gabriella was involved

with a number of people, too,
and we didn't want

to just leave
those people hanging

in our excitement
for each other.

- And for me,
it always felt like

I couldn't have just one person.

I wanted to let my partner also

have other connections
that would be meaningful.

We do have way more sex
probably than a lot of people

in the general population.

♪♪♪

For John and I,
we want to keep growing

as a couple.

[ gasping ]

We want to keep deeply connected

and deeply serving each other.

[ moaning ]

The definition of good sex--

is the sex--
the amount of sex you want,

when you want
with who you want.

Our sex life will continue
to be a source

of intimacy,
a source of excitement,

a source of play,
a source of personal growth

that sometimes is challenging,
but those things come out

of a number of aspects
of our relationship.

But one of the funnest
is sex.

[ moaning quietly ]

♪♪♪

There's gonna be a party
at the house tonight.

- That's right.
- As we know,

and let go of it.
- Mm-hmm.

- Some people we don't know
at all.

- And some people
we know really well.

Some people we kind of know,

and some people we know
really well.

- What are your expectations?

What are you interested
in doing?

- For tonight?
- Yeah.

- Sometimes they're just dinner,

and sometimes they're, like,
orgy in the lounge.

- I don't know who's
gonna be there.

I don't know
what it's gonna be like,

what type of connections people
already have with each other.

I'm actually feeling
really superb

in my body right now.
- Okay.

- Better than last weekend.
- Any insecurities

or anything like that
we should talk about?

I would love to actually
spend most of the night

in a onesie.
[ laughs ]

- Are you feeling insecure
about your body?

- A little bit.
- You're so sexy.

- I'm not.

We're lifestyle,
and "lifestyle" means

we have sex with people
who are our friends

and we maintain
those friendships.

So lifestyle versus poly--
polyamory is,

we have multiple
loving relationships.

I love you, you love me,
she loves me...

which is way too much for me.

It feels like
it would be too easy

just to run away
from the hard things

to another relationship.

- Mm-hmm.
- Then the lifestyle

is a happy medium in between

where we like to have sex
with other people

but we like them
to be people we know,

and we may even love them,
but we're not responsible

for their emotional wellbeing
as a whole.

[ saw buzzing ]

We're looking to meet people
who we really like a lot,

and we hang out with them.

- And we sleep with them.
- And we sleep with them, yeah.

♪♪♪

[ indistinct greetings ]

- This evening we're having
a group of friends over,

and we know everyone
who's coming over.

- Most of the people
that we've invited

are lovers with us
and/or each other.

- Hey, guys!

- Hey.
- Hey! Hoo hoo!

[ laughs ]
Oh, my gosh.

- Emily, who we dated but
haven't been with for a while,

she's bringing someone
that we haven't met yet.

So we'll see what happens there.
- His name is Eli.

- I'm Eli.

I've been poly forever,

very happily so, and it seems
to suit me well.

- And I'm Emily.
I'm bisexual,

and I've been connecting with
John and Gabriella as a couple.

However, it kind of
petered out a little bit.

You guys, we were thinking
maybe some massages later.

- We were thinking
the same thing.

- I was just doing that.
- Yeah.

- It's a little hard
to not touch you, so...

- I know, I know, I know.
- [ laughs ]

- We have wanted to continue
the lover-ship,

but just, I live in the Bay,
they live in Oregon.

It's been a little bit
challenging.

And so, I kind of
was uncertain about like,

okay, how do they want to
connect and relate with me now?

How is it gonna be
with bringing Eli in?

And there's just--we didn't
have communication,

so there's a lot
of uncertainty.

- Remember the, uh,
sensual cooking class?

- Mm-hmm.
- That was really fun, and--

- Was that the one where you
mixed up the vegetables

on my back?
- Yeah. [ laughs ]

- Gus and Marianne
are gonna be here tonight,

the couple that we've been
dating for

several months now.

- So there's a strong,
warm affection with them

that's playful
and sometimes erotic.

Some of the people
that are coming

we're not in relationship
with anymore, but we were.

[ indistinct chatter ]

For instance,
Natesh and I were lovers,

but we're
still really good friends,

and he's got a partner
who I'm not lovers with.

But they're lovers,
or have been lovers,

with some of the people
who are coming.

- That's beautiful, love.
- Look at that.

- Gorgeous.

Getting together the way we do,

and connecting as friends,
as future lovers,

as current lovers,
I love bringing people together

because it's just
such a good way

to build a stronger community.

So we have two, four,
six, eight...

...nine?

All right, let's do this.

- Hello.
- Eli.

- Hi, Eli. I'm Amelia.

- Hi, Amelia.
- Nice to meet you.

- Yeah, you too.

You guys remember Emily,
right?

- Natesh.
- Natesh?

- You guys, should we
hold hands?

[ laughter ]
I want to hold hands.

I want to hold hands.

I just want to take a moment
and thank Gabriella and John

for just bringing
this tribe together,

and for all of you
that contributed to this meal

and blessings,
and thank you so much.

♪♪♪

- So are you guys living
in a bus, then? Is that what--

- We recently purchased a bus

that we are converting
into our home.

- Awesome.
- Just over there by that shed.

- Very cool.
I feel like there's some energy

between Emily and Eli and us,

we're kind of excited to see
where that's gonna go.

It feels like there's
a possibility.

- Emily and both her and Eli
kept my gaze,

and I was like, "Wow, I can't
look away from you.

I can't look away."

Blessings on
your grand adventure,

wherever it leads you.
- Thanks.

- That's one thing I enjoy
about those evenings,

just, like, watching the
connections other people make

and getting
to bear witness to that

and sometimes I just, like,
sit there,

maybe from a distance
and look at the goings-on

and just think,
"Wow, this is beautiful."

♪♪♪

- How about if you help me move
this back about eight inches?

Just so we can get the--

It takes a lot of skill
and grace to get people

to start to connect
with each other

in a way where
they feel comfortable

and also build comfort,

but don't feel coerced.

That's what Gabriella does
really well.

- Well, like, what we usually
do, like, just go around

and just kind of say
how we're feeling right now

and then--
- A place for boundaries

or limits, too.
- Yeah.

- What our work will be
is to get people talking

and communicating about
what they'd like to have happen

and what they wouldn't
want to have happen,

and then for us to get creative
from there.

- I mean, I'm open
to a lot of things if we feel--

if the connection is there.

The most important thing to me

is Gabriella and I's connection

bubbles over to others.

- Yeah, people could just
brush my hair

and rub my head
and braid it really tight.

- Touch. Just have touching
and connection.

- I wanna get in the tub,
fo' sho'.

- I'm kinda interested
in kissing someone.

- Mm-hmm.
- If there's someone you're

interested in and they express
what they're looking for

in the evening, maybe that
gives you an idea

of how you can approach
that person.

- I'm looking forward
to having some fun.

- I am probably on the side
of more, like, wanting

to receive than give.

- If I engage in any kind
of sexual behavior,

it'd probably be oral sex.

- You must tolerate nothing.

Everything should come
from a place of desire,

and if you do move into,
like, a sexual space,

make sure that it's within
the agreements

of your relationship.

- Rowr.
- Yeah.

- Let's do it.
- Something's happening.

♪♪♪

Can I sit, like, kind of
in between your legs?

Like--and lean back?

- Is it okay if I touch you?
- Yes, thank you for asking.

- Mm-hmm.

- You want one of these?

- Um, probably not.
- What is that?

- Boner pill.
- [ laughs ] Oh, okay.

- [ chuckles ]

- Fuck...

- You guys should keep going.
That sounds amazing.

Yeah.
[ plays bongo ]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

- It's fun to watch people
open and just connect

and experience themselves
in a way that they don't get to

in life in general.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

- I--I'm definitely
heterosexual,

but I'm open to sensual touch
with men.

There's like, this beautiful,
like, brotherly

kindred spirit of
being able to just, like,

you know, touch and connect
and massage and so,

I love that, like,
it ended up turning into

this five-men massage chain,

massaging
each other's shoulders.

♪♪♪

- The men just
spontaneously started

connecting with each other.

It feels so much safer
for the women.

They just know that they've
got each other.

They're not gonna be putting
as much pressure on us

to meet their touch needs

or to meet their needs
for affection or intimacy.

♪♪♪

- I got to look over and see
you and Gabriella and John

all having that beautiful
three-way kiss...

- Oh.
- ...between you two?

That was just so hot
to watch that.

- And I love to know
that you were watching.

♪♪♪

- I enjoyed the way Emily
showed up

and was so playful.

♪♪♪

- Wow. That's hot.

- I really loved watching the
way they connected with John.

- That--that was kind of hot.

I thought that
was really beautiful.

♪♪♪

- It's always just
a microscopic bit edgy

for me to kiss another guy.
- Of course.

- Like, I haven't done that.

- See, I get so turned on
by that. I'm like, "Yes!"

- I love watching John
be with other people,

being validated in his--
in his masculinity

and his attractiveness.

- Our love and our excitement

works so well for us
and it's really fun for us

when other people--
- And it's really fun

for them, too,
when we're together. [ laughs ]

'Cause we just sort of--
we work really well together.

- All right, let's go--
let's, uh--

Should we head up
to the snuggle space?

- We're gonna start
moving upstairs, guys.

♪♪♪

- We'll run the evening with--

facilitating it
and guiding people.

So we--we should climb
into the bed here.

- Mmm.
- Find a place,

and just--and we'll
just start snuggling.

The way we do the snuggles is,
you know,

everyone starts together.
We do, like, a big spoon,

so everyone is connected.

Normally I would say we should
all start by asking

"What kind of touch
do you want?"

But we're past that.
[ laughter ]

- Gabriella does this, like,
beautiful job

of guiding us all through this,
like, wonderful way to connect.

- And we kind of shuffle
throughout the evening

so that people get to
experience different people.

Okay, so, I recommend
that two people

get out, just randomly,
and move to the ends.

And the nice thing about that
is you--you might have

some ideas in your mind
about, like,

whether I'm gonna be attracted
to this person

or have good energy
with that person.

Then you get really surprised.

Okay, so now we're gonna
turn over.

- All right.

♪♪♪

- [ moaning ]
Oh, yeah. Oh, God!

♪♪♪

- I think at one point
it was you between Emily and I

and then Eli
was in front of us

and you're like,
"Whose hand is this?

Whose leg is that?"

♪♪♪

- I want to say that when I tell
my mom some of these things

she's like, "Oh, my God, babe,
we were doing that in the '60s."

[ laughs ]
So it's nothing new.

♪♪♪

I think orgies
are more common, maybe,

in our world than in
some other people's worlds.

♪♪♪

People have a really negative
connotation about orgies.

When I say "orgy,"
I'm really talking about

an environment or situation
where everything's possible,

nothing is expected.

♪♪♪

- Eli and Emily,
with the two of them,

it was feeling very right.

And we decided maybe
the four of us should go

connect with each other without
all these other distractions.

We took them to our room.

- Good, good. I was thinking
it'd be good for us

to just have, like,
the STD talk?

- Yes.
- Talk.

- I was last completely tested
last July,

and I'm clean.

- I think that a lot of people

don't like to talk
about STIs,

and there's a lot of fear.

- We are without STIs.

Every time we have a connection
with somebody we don't know,

we have that conversation.

- Um, I was tested
eight weeks ago.

- It doesn't take away
from the energy

'cause we can still be
having that conversation

and cuddling and touching.

- I've had a vasectomy.

Um, I've got, um,
two partners currently active.

- I don't think
it ruins the mood.

I think it is actually
a super sexy thing

to be safe and to talk about.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

- It's exciting to play
with somebody new or different.

- [ laughs, moans ]
Yes.

- Oh, baby! You're back!

I really felt Amelia
like super open to me,

and I was like, "Okay,
this is feeling really good."

♪♪♪

- [ gasps ] Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God!

Feeling you right next to me,

and feeling Eli
next to me as well

while I receiving the pleasure
she was giving me was--

I just felt so loved.
I felt all, all of the support.

[ moaning ]
Ah, yes.

[ moaning ]

- The way Emily uses her voice
and interacts with me

made me feel really safe
and it gave me the ability

to release and experience
the orgasm that I had.

[ screaming ]
Oh, yes!

[ screaming continues ]

Oh, yeah,
I was squirting, baby!

- [ laughs ] Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

- That was incredible.
An amazing, amazing experience.

- All of a sudden, just
gush, gush, gush, gush, gush.

Gush, gush, gush, ♪ gush!
All over.

- [ laughs ]

- You fucking squirted
all over me!

- Oh, it was so good.

- That was so--
that was such a gift.

- That was such a gift to me.
- That was so good.

That was such a gift.

- I am really concerned about

a world where we're moving
further and further away from

connecting
on the physical level.

♪♪♪

- We're primates, you know.
We're meant to connect.

We're meant to share.
We're meant to bond.

What we want to do
in an open relationship

is just share with others what's
really working well for us.

And when they're
attracted to that

and we're attracted to them,
it feels like more.

Once you've, like, made love
in front of people

or watched them make love,
there's trust that comes.

These little gatherings are kind
of like food for the soul.

But it's also about
how do you bring

more love into the world?
How do you have more,

deeper, loving connections
with people?

I think that's
what I'm here to do.

I really feel like I'm here
to change the world.

♪♪♪

How do you feel about

getting naked
and sitting on a cake?

- Getting naked
and sitting on a cake.

- It's a thing
to sit on a cake naked?

- Getting--I've--
Ooh, that sounds--

- Sploshing.
I'm into it.

- Sitting on a cake?
Oh, we should try that.

- I've never heard of that
before, actually.

- That's--that's good.

That's good.
I want to do that.

Hmm. Hold on, wait.

That sounds sexy.
- How do I feel about

getting naked
and sitting on a cake?

- A cake?

If I sat on a cake naked?

- I would probably eat
the cake after we had sex,

but I would not sit on
a cake naked.

- We like both things.
- We do.

- Man, that was weird.
Who asked that question?

- [ laughs ] No!

I would to sit on
a cake naked.

- [ inhales, exhales ]
That wouldn't do a thing for me.

A cake?

- Cake's pretty greasy, right?

It's good moisturizer.
- Yeah.

That too. You know, the--
- I would probably be, like,

digging myself into
the cake as much as possible.

- My ex and I used
to joke around

about having sex with cakes.

We would always talk about it
and like, go to cake shops

and be like,
"Ooh, let's fuck that cake."

I would still do that.

- Sponge cake?
Depends on how to sit on it.

[ laughter ]

- Can't say I wouldn't try it,
but...

- Yeah.
- I'd say...

I would do it right now.
That would be inappropriate.

- I hate frosting in my mouth,

and I would not want it
in my asshole.

[ laughs ]

- Agreed. On all the counts.

- Yeah, I don't know that
I'm opposed to it.

That sounds really sexy.

Sounds like it would feel
really good.

I would love to sit
on a cake naked.

I would--do you have a cake?

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

I was nine years old.
I was in the bathtub shaving.

Got a little too much
shaving cream on me,

and I was like, "Okay.

There needs to be
more on me."

It was just like, wow.

Why do I just like lathering?

Or just feeling myself?

♪ It's loud and clear

- That orgasm
through sploshing

was my first orgasm.

♪♪♪

- Start getting
all the food in place.

Bill and I will get
the lights ready.

- Oh, there's so many cakes,
I love it.

- Let's see if we can
get this scene lit.

- I think one of the most
appealing sights

is a line of cakes
at the bakery,

all freshly decorated,
very beautifully done.

It looks like all the bakers
took their sweet time

on each single one of them.

And what runs through my head
whenever I see that is

"I wanna smush 'em."

Sploshing is erotic food play...

...with certain textures.

Frostings,

cakes, pies.

That sensation...

having that covering,
you're losing yourself

into the texture.

♪♪♪

- Put this over this one
real fast.

What draws a lot of people
into the sploshing interest

is everybody's taught
don't play with your food,

use your silverware correctly,
you're not supposed to be messy.

What we do is
the antithesis of that.

Down a little bitty bit more.

Okay, let me have you hop back
in the pool, pretty please.

♪ So much confidence

♪ Let me show you
my present tense ♪

♪ Baby, there is
no consequence ♪

♪ Feel me...

- Give me a big ol' bite
of marshmallows.

♪ Who's this new girl?

♪ Who's this new skin?

♪ What's this new life

♪ She been fighting?

- Gonna have you extend
this guy out at me

so we get that 3-D punch.

- [ giggles ]

I got sent to etiquette
school when I was younger.

- Right there, perfect.

- My mom was like,
"Stop touching your food.

Stop playing with you food."

'Cause I would always get
ice creams,

then have it slipping
all over my mouth.

♪ I've been hiding so much
of myself ♪

♪ I don't know where to start

♪ This new girl

♪ Who's this new skin?

- This is insane.
Sploshing with a view?

Whaa!

♪ She been fighting

[ camera shutter clicking ]

♪♪♪

- Fucking thick, I love it.

I knew Clix as a really
cool photographer.

Let's see what we can stick
onto the butt.

[ camera shutter clicks ]

And I was going on Instagram,

and I came across
MessyHot's page.

I started really looking at it.

I was like, "Wait a minute."

These girls are in cakes.

These girls are covered
in icing.

I was like, "This is exactly
what I'm doing

at home by myself."

♪ Who this new girl?

♪ What's the new plan?

- She messaged me a while back
and said,

"Hey, I like what you do.
I'd like to give this a shot."

And she had bright blue hair,
and I was like, "Ah,

this is right up my alley.
I'll do the thing."

So came out to California,
and we did our first shoot

on a beach in Malibu.

♪♪♪

Basically we just
went on the beach,

made a huge mess.

And she had this constant
look of joy on her face.

So we wrapped our shoot
and I put it online,

and then all of a sudden I was
just getting all these messages.

"Hey, we really like
this new model."

Lum has become one
of the faces of MessyHot.

♪♪♪

- When I'm in the zone
and I'm sploshing,

I'm just letting go.

It's honestly made me
such a happier person,

because it's my release.

It's my freedom, my safe space.

One, two, three!

Oh!

[ gasping, giggling ]
Oh, my God, that feels so good!

And there you have it.

There's a lot of people who have

a very specific
response trigger

to the feeling of being sticky
or the feeling of being messy.

A lot of people that I shoot
with love the sensation

of sprinkles just
pouring over their face.

- [ gasps ]
- and you can feel each

little individual ball
bouncing off your face.

♪♪♪

The feeling of slipping
on the frosting...

♪♪♪

Sometimes it's the sound
of the crunching

from stepping on
the crunchy stuff.

- Ooh!
- It just gives

a really powerful emotional
and neurological response.

There's just something
that pushes people's buttons

and for a lot of people, that's
wired to a sexual response.

♪♪♪

- Gorgeous!

♪♪♪

- Is it cupcake o'clock?
- Mm-hmm.

[ gasps, laughs ]

- Ooh, what's wrong
with my aim today?

♪♪♪

[ cheering ]

All right, let's make
that whipped cream

explode real quick.
- Yes!

- All right, give me a three.

- Three, two, one.

[ exclaims ]

I got it right in my face!

- Beautifully well-executed.

♪♪♪

Oh, my God.
Here we are, um,

shopping for the first time
with my cutie,

and this is the first time
we're gonna do this,

and get really messy together.

I'm really excited to see what
kind of cake options they have,

so... [ laughs ]

Mwah.

Let's see how messy we can get.

The most consistent question
I would get--

"How do I get into this?"

Look at how excited she is.

"Where do I even start?"

- [ laughs ]

- Oh, my God, that one's
really cute, though.

You go to the grocery store,

picking out
your favorite colors,

what kind of icings,

what kind of sprinkles
that you want to use--

just incorporating
your specific thing.

I want to get frosting
on me already.

- That cake is bigger than you.

Get the full experience
of picking out your groceries

and getting really personalized.
It builds up.

It builds up
the sensual connection.

This is so exciting.
[ laughs ]

♪♪♪

- I don't think I've ever seen
a cake that big before.

Especially not my own cake.

- It's our cake, oh, my God.

- We got a cheesecake.
We got, like, confetti cake.

We got the sheet cake.
Oh, my God.

- Do you think we have too much?

- Mmm, I don't think so.
- [ laughs ]

- I think it's
just the right amount.

- I met Lum Through Clix.

He needed a little help
doing a photo shoot.

So I helped take some pictures,

and it just kind of
sparked something in me.

I was like,
"That looks really fun."

♪ Pie!

"Maybe I could try
getting messy myself."

- I'm, like, eyeballing
this jelly so hard.

I'm...[ laughs ]

One...two...

Three!

Four.

Five.

Six.
- Six whipped cream.

- Seven! Let's say seven.

- I have to work in a very
professional environment

where I can't truly
be myself.

How may corn syrups
do we have?

I don't like having to pretend
I'm somebody else

or hide certain aspects
of myself.

I think everyone should be
able to be who they are.

- Yum!

Yes, okay. I think it's time
I take these clothes off.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Much better.

- You look so cute.
- Youlook so cute!

- Okay, so we need to add
more whipped cream.

Lum definitely is
an inspiration to me

to be myself
and to not be afraid

to take chances and experiment.

- All right, one, two, three.

- Oof!
[ laughter ]

Oh...

♪♪♪

- It's being able
to just fully let go

and be in a moment, and
wherever that moment takes you.

[ laughter ]

However messy you get.

However wet you get.

Whatever texture,
whatever liquid,

whatever the sensation of
you're messing yourself up with,

you are having that kind
of mental freedom.

How do you feel,
being all messy?

- Amazing.
- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm. So soft and squishy.

Show me your butt.

Oh, my God! [ laughs ]

- This is intense.

This is
a really nice sensation.

Or having another person here,

being able to feel
textures with.

- Aww.

- I've been very lucky to be

around people
and meeting partners

that have been very willing
and very open.

It's not weird, it's not wrong
to understand what you like

and know what you like
specifically.

♪ Can't control

I like to tell people,
"Start lightly.

"Start slow.
Know what you want to do,

and play around
and just be openminded."

♪ Roll, let it roll

Even if it's really just
straight down to just

lathering yourself up
in a tub.

♪ 'Cause you can't control

♪ When the thunder
meets the lightning ♪

♪ Let it roll

- A lot of people,
for some reason,

imagine that participating
in this sort of thing

would be degrading.

- [ laughter ]

- With MessyHot,
it's a celebration.

It's a celebration of beauty.

It's a celebration
of sensuality.

♪ Let it roll

- It's sparked
this beautiful journey

that I'm apparently on of
just understanding my sexuality

and understanding who I am.

♪ You can't control

♪ When the thunder meets
the lightning ♪

Sploshing really...

It really opened me up
to be just me, 24/7.

♪♪♪

- Unlikeliest person I've
ever fantasized about?

Is that someone who's like
not traditionally hot?

I don't think
this is that weird,

but I have, like, massive
crushes on Will Ferrell

and Jason Seagal.
They're like my--my dream men.

- I do have a hard-on
for Anthony Hopkins.

I have to admit.
It's just something

that I really find
myself drawn to as opposed

to say, you know, Brad Pitt,
where it's like,

"Yeah, aesthetically,
you're really hot,

but I don't really think I'd
keep you in the bed very long."

I'd probably just be like,
"Okay, we're done. Get out."

- The unlikeliest person
I've ever fantasized about was

my law professor.

He was like...
had to have been 70.

He's passed away now,
that's how old he is.

But I totally thought
he was a dirty boy,

so I really fantasized
about him all the time.

And he gave me a good grade.

- Theo Von.
He's a comedian.

I'm a comedian,
but I can't ever fuck him

because I'm not
as famous as him.

So then I'd just be known as
like the chick who fucked

a famous comedian.

- I think Carrot Top's
really hot.

I know it's odd.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I have
a thing for redheads,

Covered in freckles, redhead,
I'll lie in bed

and like, play connect the dots.

- The unlikeliest person
I've fantasized about

is the Hound
from "Game of Thrones."

His, like, whole face
is burned,

and he's got, like,
this, like, greasy wig,

but he's like 6'6"
and super hairy

and I'm just so into him.

My friends make fun of me
all the time for it.

- You know what, I've been
fantasizing a lot

about older women.
For whatever reason,

now that I've got older,

I have a crazy fetish,
sometimes,

depending on my mood
when I wake up,

for older ladies.

Sometimes it can be GILF porn.

If a grandma looks nice
and it's crazy,

and it's spontaneous,
and it's spun the right way,

it'll fucking get me off.

- Fidel Castro is probably
the unlikeliest person

I've had a sexual fantasy about.

I was going through
a dark phase in my time

and a dictator
just seemed sexy to me.

I've grown out
of that phase now.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

- A successful model,
she knows how to talk

and she's a real person.

And that's how she grabs you.

Before I started camming,
I was working

for a pharmaceutical company.

So I went from doing, like,
a modest job

to something that's more,
like, on the edge.

- You are in Hollywood
and you come into an office,

like everybody else,
but what you're doing

is not what they're doing.

- Well, hello there.

Studio 20, they pretty much
groomed me

to be a successful model.

♪♪♪

- So it starts in free chat,

where you have lots
of members,

and you're meeting everybody.

But the moment they press
the "private" button

is when you start making money.

How are you doing today?

[ chuckles ]
That's good.

What's your name, baby?

Oh, Cowboy.

Where you from?

Texas.
Of course you're from Texas,

Cowboy. So I heard everything
is bigger in Texas.

Is that true?

It's not a myth? Really?

[ chuckles ]

♪♪♪

Ooh, I can be your cowgirl?

I've been camming for about
a year and three months.

I like to describe myself
as an onion.

I have lots of different layers
of different people

when I'm in mistress mode,
when I'm in teacher mode,

when I'm being seductive.

The thing I really like
about camming

and when we're online
is like, I'm in control.

These guys know
a lot about your life,

but we can text them on an app

so we can get,
like, FaceTime calls,

text messages,
so they really feel like

they're your friends, like
they're a part of your life.

You're their therapist,
you're their fantasy,

you're their everything.

You like me like that,
don't you?

♪♪♪

- Yeah? Okay.

Hi there, Katie.

- I'm Andra. I'm the P.R.
and marketing manager

for Studio 20.

- The problem that we have

is that you don't
look into the camera.

- I have a law degree.

I worked in marketing
and social media before,

so when this job opened up,
I was very curious about it.

- You're looking at the TV,
but the camera's here, you know?

So let's look at how--
let's move the camera a bit,

and let's look
at how it looks afterwards.

A lot of people have
this preconceived idea

that webcamming is
just about sex,

but it's more about
creating the connection

with our members.
That is actually how you get

to become a good webcam model.

♪♪♪

Studio 20 is the biggest
livecam network in the world.

We provide facilitation
for the girls

that want to work
as webcam models.

A webcam model
is a performer

that broadcasts from our studio

onto a cam site platform.

So it's basically like
broadcasting live

on a social media platform,

just that for this one,
you get paid for it.

For a model that has
been working for a year,

she should expect around
6,000, even 8,000,

after two weeks.

It's also a safe environment
for them,

because we provide the rooms,
the training,

the cameras, the lighting,

the bedsheets, everything
for the performers

to come and do their work.

Okay, awesome, Katie.

You look gorgeous, by the way.
- Thank you.

We're trying to help every
girl that domes into the studio

explore her full potential.

♪♪♪

- Camming is an occupation
like any other.

It's a career,
not just a job.

So we invest a lot more
time into it,

and enjoy our work.

- You know, she's gorgeous.
I love her.

There's powder in her room.

- Oh, yeah. She never--
- Okay? Always.

All the time.
- We bought her some.

- The staff cares about us
a lot.

They get really excited for us,

and they're not faking it,
either.

They're, like, really happy
when we do well.

- Like, real close. Real close.

The role of the trainers is
to help the girls,

so we're giving constant
feedback and support

to every performer that we have,

and seeing them grow
and seeing them develop

and learning about themselves.

We're actually building them up
for success.

Now, awesome.

- You like it better?
- Yeah. What do you think?

- She's still not looking
at the camera.

- She's not looking
at the camera, but it's...

because she's
not looking at the camera.

Camming is about
being empowered,

and being free to explore
who you are.

Oh, okay, there we go.
- Okay, much better.

- There we go, see?

Awesome.
- Okay.

- Awesomeness. And you
see her beautiful face.

This is the empowerment,
and this is why we do it.

- When I first got
to Studio 20,

I had no idea what to expect,

but people were friendly.
It didn't seem like

a cam studio.
I was very, very comfortable.

There's all women here,

so the team really is
supportive.

It's not like you're in a room
by yourself

and they're just sticking you
in a camera

and you're just gonna
masturbate all day.

Like, no, it's nothing
like that.

So, Mr. Cowboy, are you single?

Are you married?

You are--ooh.
Naughty, naughty boy.

Where's your wife?

You want to keep them talking,
that's the thing.

That's where you're gonna make

the majority of your money
is from the conversation.

My trainer told me, you know,
the first private I had.

As soon as I go in there,
I'm like, taking my clothes off.

My trainer was like,
"Whoa, like, slow down."

I'm gonna introduce you
to Coco and Chanel.

Mmm, they're my new twins,
Cowboy.

Mm-hmm, Cowboy.

Just let him tell you
what he wants,

'cause not everybody
wants you to get naked.

Some tight shorts?
Really naughty.

But I think when you're online,

it kinda gives the guy
an opportunity

to get to know you better,

because they can't actually
touch you

so if I can't touch you
I have to figure out

another way to get to you,
so that's through your mind.

That's through the conversation.

There's different guys that want
different things in a private.

You can be asleep.
Some guys want to watch you

do your makeup.
So it's not all sexual

and this is what people
misunderstand about camming.

It's whatever you want it to be,
whatever your fantasy is,

is just on the camera.

You have your own will.

That's the thing I really like
about camming is

you're in control
of what you do.

If you don't feel comfortable
in doing anything,

you don't have to do it.

They tell me all the time,

like, I can be myself here.

I love girls and guys.

I'm greedy. I like both.

[ chuckles ]

Hello, hello, ladies.

- Hello.
- Hey, how's your day going?

- All right.

"We succeed together"

is the motto of Studio 20.

It means that we cannot do
anything without each other.

We need people in our lives,

and we need each other
to help each other grow.

- This environment is kinda
like a family here.

You know, it's really like
a family setting.

Just being in a studio is great,
'cause there's lots of girls

who come through
that have been cam models

and cammed from home and it's
a totally different experience.

- I was.
- Camming from home

than being here
and having the support

and having--yeah.
- It's a lot better.

- I always knew sexuality
was something that I need to

find a job with.
- Right.

- And then I found this place
and I was like, "Oh."

- Yeah, it's like you can
get into it,

and it's a professional setting.

- The studio holds us
accountable to our goals.

- Exactly.

- Regardless of
all the sexuality,

the staple of what we do
is about the intimacy,

and in the day-to-day
check-ins.

- As soon as you have this type
of conversation with them

in private and they find out,
you know,

more about your personal life
and you start to let them in,

then they realize
that you're a real person

and these are just fantasies
that we all have.

Once you start sharing things
with them, they're like,

"Oh, my god,
I feel the same way."

And it's like they just didn't
have anybody to talk to

that's just open 'cause they
didn't want to seem weird

to anybody or seem like
you were too sexual.

- I know I've talked to you
many times about it

and you really--you involve your
own sexuality a lot.

- Mm-hmm.
- And you like--you like

hearing their voice,
remember we said, right?

- Like when they're coming or
while they're wanking,

you can hear their voice quiver.
They're like, "Oh, baby."

It's hot.
[ laughter ]

Like, I love that part.
It's like, I want to hear you.

And then, like, I'll tell them,

"I want to hear
out of your mouth--

tell me how you feel. Tell me
what you want to do to me."

And it's just like--
I think it makes them, like,

have a better orgasm because
they're actually saying it.

They're confessing it
with their mouth.

So it's like,
I want to push them to do

stuff that they normally
wouldn't do, you know.

So it is a power thing.

♪♪♪

But I'm not gonna stop
until it's throbbing, baby.

Until it's leaking come.

For me to go back
to a 9-to-5,

I would never want to.
Like, I feel like

you're successful
when you get paid

doing the things
that you love to do.

Now I want you to brush it
across my lips.

Women that judge me
and other cam models,

they're actually doing
the same thing that we're doing

with the sexting and sending
nudes and all that stuff.

Hey, you can send nudes.
I send 'em, too,

but the difference is I get paid
for it and you don't.

We can do this
whenever you want.

Did you add me
to your favorites?

We're here for us
not to be judged

and for us to do the things
that we like to do.

It was nice meeting you.
Mwah.

Bye, shy Cowboy.
[ chuckles ]

Talk to you soon, babe.

Bye.

♪♪♪

♪ Ain't it crazy

♪ How you love someone

♪ Ain't it crazy

♪ Whoo-hoo

♪ Ain't it crazy

♪ When you can't get enough

♪ Ain't it crazy

♪ Whoo-hoo