All language subtitles for Sadistic.Intentions.2018.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG

- Hey there, Kevin.

You're over awfully early today.

What?

Kevin.

Kevin, what have you
done to my child?

What have you done?

- Yo.

- You're still
down to jam, right?

- Yeah, I'm still
fucking down, man,

but I've been sitting
in a parking lot

for 45 fucking minutes.

Just tell me where I'm going.

- Just know
that it was all for you.

Every last drop.

- I have no idea
what that means.

Kevin?

I need the fucking address!

Fuck.

- Hello?

- Chloe, what
are you up to tonight?

- I'm sorry, who's this?

- Of course, sorry,

it's Kevin, you
know, with the goods.

- Oh!

Oh, my God, I'm sorry,

I thought I had your
number saved for sure.

- It's all right.

I mean, 'tis the life
of a dealer, I suppose.

- I didn't mean it like that.

- I'm kidding,
I'm kidding, really.

But in all seriousness, kinda
actually why I'm calling.

You see I'm friends with
this guy that lives out west

who happens to be visiting
some family in town.

Point is, he shipped an
ounce of OG haze here

to try and flip
while he's around.

Didn't work out so well for him

and now he needs to get rid
of it before his flight out

in the morning and he's
looking to me to cover it

but I told him I could probably
do only like half the weight

so I thought I'd hit you
up, see if you could cover

the other half it's
like 350 all together.

Pretty good deal, right?

- Yeah, it sounds like a
great deal, but I don't know,

I can't just lay down all
that money at one time

and I work tomorrow and it's
already getting kinda late.

- It's never
too late for a deal.

- Maybe like in a week I could
hit you up for a gram or two?

- Look,
just hear me out.

So you're spending
350 on three quarters,

now that breaks down
into six eighths,

which you could easily
flip for like 50,

maybe 55 bucks a pop if
you find a couple suckers.

Yeah, actually
I'll tell you what,

I'll go ahead and
cover another eighth

so that way you're
only paying like 315.

- Don't you have friends
for this sort of thing

that do this?

- You're saying
we're not friends?

- No, that's not
what I'm saying.

I'm saying like friends

that do this sort
of thing more often.

- Look, you buy weed
often from me often enough,

so I thought maybe you'd like
to get in on a little deal.

This guy is trying to move fast

and I need someone I can trust.

- How do we do this?

- Is my place all right?

I mean, West Coast
homie is nearby,

no chit chat, in
and out, I promise.

- Okay, well, then
will you text me your address?

- Absolutely.

Yeah, I'll see you soon.

- National weather
service in Northern Indiana

has issued a tornado warning

for northern Adams
County, Indiana--

Feel like I'm here,

not just like I'm observing,

but I'm actually
here and I'm better.

Kinda want to--

- Blah blah blah blah.

Shut the fuck up.

- Did you even
consider being a satanist?

Well, I try to be,

this is what's ridiculous.

As a child as a 13, 14-year-old

I said the Lord's Prayer
back with black candles

but at that point I was--

Official level of
what was essentially

a major ration of Christianity

and I looked deeper and
further into what other options

there were and I discovered
Wicca and Paganism

because in the Northern
European sense of the word

it was like Wicca and
paganism is pre-Christian.

- And once you
quit whining long enough

for me to get a word in edge
wise, I said, listen up.

Your hubby was over
100 pounds overweight.

He smoked three packs
of cigarettes a day.

God did the killing,
he killed himself.

- Oh, my God,
who put you on the air?

What the fuck is this shit?

Every night, the same shit.

Nonsense.

Fucking garbage.

- Quit whining
about the will of God.

It wasn't God's
will, it was his.

- Your destination
is ahead on the left.

- Jesus Christ.

What the fuck?

Hello?

Jesus fucking Christ.

Anybody here, here, here, here?

Pretty good cheese,
cheese, cheese, cheese.

Fuck!

- Oh, shit!

- The fuck?

- I am so sorry.

No one was answering the
door so I came around.

- Fuck.

Hang on.

Fuck, just...

Hey.
- Hey.

I'm so sorry about that.

I'm Chloe, I'm Kevin's friend.

- Stu, also Kevin's friend.

- Nice to meet you.

Shoot, let me get that.

I hear you live out west.

- What?

- Well, Kevin said you were
visiting family or something?

Ah, found it.

Yeah, I only went out there
once on a family vacation,

big whoop, but I spent
every day at the beach.

I was obsessed, I
couldn't get enough of it,

it was heaven on earth.

- Wait, where's Kevin?

- He isn't here?

- No.

- You are the guy
selling us weed, right?

- What?

- I'm sorry, I thought I
was supposed to meet Kevin

and this guy here.

I thought.

- No, I'm just here
for band practice.

Fuck.

Hey, Kevin.

I'm here with, what's
your name again?

- Chloe.

- Chloe, right.

And we're just wondering
where the hell you're at, man.

So, look, just
give me a call back

and let me know what's
going on, all right?

All right.

I'm just gonna
give him a minute.

He'll probably call right back.

- So you guys are
in a band together?

- Mm-hmm.

- And this is here you jam?

- Yeah.

Yeah, this is where we jam.

- Is Kevin rich?

- What?

Fuck no.

Oh.

Right.

Yeah, his parents are well off.

- What do they do?

- I don't know.

- Well, I'm gonna get going.

I don't know what's
going on, so.

Hello, I said I'm leaving.

- Look I'm sure he's
gonna be here any minute,

but if you wanna go.

- Will you let him
know I stopped by.

- Yeah, okay, sure.

Just, yeah, all right.

- It was nice meeting you.

- Nice, pleasure.

- Is this guy serious?

Hey, where are you?

- I am so sorry.

Just heard Stu's voicemail,

totally forgot he was
stopping by tonight.

But, listen, West Coast
homie is still on his way

and I promise to be
there in 15 minutes.

Just had to hit up another
spot on my way through town

and then of course I'm stuck
on a train, and this fog.

- Hey, hey!

Where the fuck are you, man?

- I'm running
a little behind, okay?

I just needed to take
care of a few logistics.

Give me another 20 minutes.

- 20 minutes?

Kev, that chick, Chloe,

she's already come and gone,
so what do you wanna do now?

- Chloe
knows how to hang,

she'll stick around, trust me.

- No, but I don't want her
to fucking stick around, Kev,

if you're not here,
that's the whole...

This isn't what we
fucking talked about, man.

- Listen, I left
her a fat stack in a dish

by the china cabinet, hand that
off, grab a beer, and relax.

- I already grabbed a beer.

I'm fucking relaxed, man.

- Then kick back
and let the good times roll.

Here we go.

- What?

- Hey.

- Fuck!

- I'm sorry, that's
the last time.

Was that him on the phone?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
he told me 20 minutes.

- Interesting, because
he told me 15 minutes.

- So half an hour?

- Dealer time.

- So are you gonna
stick around then?

- Well, I'm already
here, aren't I?

- He said he left something
for you in the china cabinet.

Ah, I bet, you know what?

- Oh.

- Ta-da.

- Kevin, he shouldn't have.

He shouldn't have, Jesus.

- It's that good, huh?
- It's that bad.

- You know what, actually
it might be ashes,

this could be like
some kind of urn.

So, yeah, have fun with that
and so there's a lot of cheese.

- I saw the cheese, yeah.

- And crackers.

I'm gonna have a cigarette.
- Yeah.

Can I join you?

- Sure, yeah.

- Kinda spooky out here.

- Yeah.

It's atmospheric.

- Do you live around here?

- No.

- Hey, listen, you
look uncomfortable.

I can go wait somewhere
else, that's fine.

- No, no, I'm...

It's fine, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

- Okay.

Do you smoke?

- No.

No, that shit makes me anxious.

I used to smoke.

Used to smoke a lot.

It started to turn on
me one day, you know?

I feel like if you're a happy
person, an optimistic person,

then it tends to make you
happier and more optimistic,

but if you got a lot of dark
shit floating around up there,

well, it makes it
a little darker.

- So you don't want this?

- No, fuck, God, no, thank you.

Thank you, though.

- So tell me about your band.

- I write the lyrics
and record the vocals

and then I do some
of the cover art,

and Kevin, he plays guitar
and he does samples,

and then he programs the drums.

- He programs the drums?

- Yeah, on the computer.

- So there's no drummer?

- No, no, no, no drummer.

Just one more person
to fucking flake out.

- And what's the
name of this band?

- Morbid Annihilator.

- Morbid Annihilator?

- It was a compromise.

- So given that
name, is it metal,

is it thrash metal,
or death metal?

Like the high-pitched screaming

or the like low
Cookie Monster growl?

- What is it with the fucking
Cookie Monster thing anyway?

You're not the first
person to say that.

Of all the sounds that you
could compare a metal scream to,

everybody fucking says
this dumb kids' character.

I don't get it.

- I like Cookie
Monster, I was just...

So what is that anyways,
is it your diary?

- No, it's not.

No, it's not a diary.

- Well, then what is it?

- It's drawings, lyrics.

- Can I hear a song?

- You know, we're still
working on some new stuff so.

- So show
me something old.

- Shit.

- That was interesting.

- You hate it.

- I definitely don't
hate it, it's just--

- It's okay if you hate
it, most people hate it.

- It's unique.

- Good save.

- So what's the goal, do
you wanna be a professional?

Is there a professional?

- Yeah, kinda.

I guess, I don't
know, it's stupid.

- Just tell me.

- Look, the only thing
that you need to know

about the underground metal
scene is that it is full

of a bunch of
pseudo-subversive crust punks

who don't have a speck of
dirt under their fingernails

or an original thought in their
stupid fucking skin heads,

and they sit around on
the Internet all day

trying to get somebody to
say something about them

'cause they have nothing
to say about themselves.

- Yeah, I know the type.

- It's just exhausting trying
to keep up with that shit

because it has nothing
to do with music.

It's like nothing
is sacred anymore.

You know?

It's like there's
no real freaks.

Sure, there are guys
who'll stand up on stage

and wring out a dead
kitten like a dish rag.

But there used to be guys
who would do that when nobody

was watching, just to see
what comes out what end.

I just mean that metal
used to be intimidating.

Used to be dangerous.

Now it's just easy.

But it's not like we're helping.

We're not pushing the
boundaries of the genre,

we're just adding to the noise.

- Well, to be fair.

- Very funny, look, I just mean
I wanna feel something real.

Fucking real, like real.

Something new, something
different, something dangerous.

I want it to feel like the
music is standing over you

'cause it just knocked
you on the fucking floor.

- I get what you're saying.

- I don't know.

- I wanna accomplish
things, as well.

I want to go out into the world.

I don't wanna be stuck
here living and dying

on minimum wage, and I want to
be a part of something huge.

I wanna be a part of it, I
want to smell different places

and see different things and--

I want to get out there,
there's so much and...

I want to study the ocean.

- Come check it out.

- Okay, that's kinda groovy.

But something I can tap my
foot to, what about that?

- Oh, you can tap your
foot to a blast beat,

you just gotta do it
really fucking fast.

- I mean something
I can dance to,

something I can dance, you know?

Do you not dance?

- No, I'd rather die in
a fucking house fire.

- That's dramatic.

Dancing is therapeutic,
it's awesome.

Get out there and move
your body, just not care.

- You should try
a mosh pit then.

- I've been in a mosh
pit before, okay.

Does this thing have Wi-Fi?

- Yeah, of course it has WiFi.
- Okay.

- It's a computer.
- Well, I don't know.

- But, but, don't--

- I'm not gonna, I'm not
gonna, come on now, okay.

♪ I told you

♪ I told you

♪ I told you

♪ I told you

♪ I told you, I told you

Sorry, I don't know why I
thought you would like that.

Sorry.

- Does that make you mad?

Does it make you mad that
I won't dance with you?

- What are we doing?

- I'm gonna make you scream.

- Oh?

- Not like that.

Not in a bad way, I'm talking
about like a real primal,

metal scream, like
a deep-throaty howl.

- Okay, so wait, let
me get this straight.

You absolutely refuse
to dance with me,

would rather die, and I'm
supposed to follow your lead?

- Well, you did, didn't you?

You're out here.

Look, you talk
about therapy, okay?

This is therapeutic, all right?

- Okay, so screaming
into the trees is therapeutic?

- Right, yeah, exactly.

I genuinely believe
people should scream more.

You want me to show
you how it is, okay,

first off cigarette.

- Okay.

- Key element--
- Yes.

- To the metal scream
you probably should do it

for about 10 or 15
years but that's okay.

- Well, I got time, okay.

- Second is the stance.

You gotta get a
power stance like so.

- Okay.
- All right?

- All right.
- You ready?

- Yes.

- What the fuck?

No, hold on, that doesn't
count, you totally fucked me up.

- I'm sorry, it's really funny.

- Listen, all right.
- Okay, okay, okay, serious.

- Do this for real.
- Serious, no laughing.

- For real this time.
- Okay, go.

- Here we go.
- Ready.

- I think I heard a
crack in that one.

- All right, you know there's
like reverb and distortion,

it's a huge part of the process.

- It's very complicated.

- You think you can do
better, I'd like to hear it.

Jesus Christ, another one?

- Shut it, Dad, I'm
getting into my metal zone.

Duh.

Okay, so smoke.

- Smoke.
- Smoke.

- Yup.
- Stance.

- Right.

- Well, Christ,
you gotta commit.

If you're not gonna
take it seriously

I don't know what the
fuck we're doing out here.

- Sorry, it tickles
my throat, okay.

- Oh, okay.

- Okay, okay, how
do I do it then,

other than stance and smoke?
- You really wanna know?

- Yes, yes.
- All right, listen.

First.

I know it seems gross, but you
gotta clear out that mucus.

All right, and then
big deep breath,

you're good, big deep
breath through your nose.

And then you're just gonna
push all of that air out

from the back of your throat

right out through
your lips, okay?

- Okay.
- Focus up.

Let's hear.

- Okay.
- Shit.

That wasn't half bad.

- Really?

- Yeah, not too bad at all.

Not too bad.

- May I?

Cigarette.

- Yeah?

Do you want me to throw you
through a fucking window?

- Okay, okay, I know,
I know, but one hit

and one dance, and
then we're even.

- And a dance?

- I screamed for you twice, I
think that's worth one dance.

Come on.

- All right, we'll
start with the hit.

- Okay.
- See where it goes.

- Aw.

Okay, okay.

Sh, sh, sh, sh.

- What?
- Sh.

I'm kidding, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry.

- That's not fucking
cool, don't do that.

- I couldn't help myself.
- Take this fucking thing.

- Okay, okay, here
trade, cigarette?

How about I'll go get you a beer

and then maybe

I'll have a beer too, maybe.

Who knows?

- Yeah, okay.

- Okay.

- Oh God.

Jesus fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

- Cheers.

- Yeah.

Cheers.

That was shitty weed, huh?

- You're high.

- Jesus Christ.

Oh, huh.

Ooh.

- You okay?

- I don't, have you seen my...

My pencil...

My pencil and my
fucking notebook?

I just had the fucking things.

Fuck, fuck, fuck it.

Fuck!

Kevin?

- I need
you to understand.

It just happened so fast.

Every single one of them.

It's not what you think.

It's what you need.

- Kevin, when are you
gonna get here, man?

I'm freaking out, okay, I don't
wanna do this shit anymore.

I gotta get the fuck outta here.

- Baptized in chlorine.

The removal of old blood.

A family afloat.

- What are you talking about?

You in the pool?

- Stu.

I'm drowning.

- Oh, fuck, what the...

What the?

- What are you doing?

- Oh, Jesus!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, shit.

Oh my God, he's fucking lost it.

He's fucking lost it.

I didn't do it.

Chloe, I didn't do this.

- Trapped and burned four
heads and severed family.

- Hold on, hold on.

- The perfect family.

Perfect stage, their blood shall
satisfy this white hot rage

and take pleasure in knowing
the shapes of their bodies.

- He's coming.

Get me up.

- Flesh drudged
across a rain of dust.

Cracking under pressure,
annihilation is a must.

They say lightning never
strikes the same place twice,

but tonight it struck four.

A thunderous roar across
the fields urging,

begging that I kill more.

Who will be the first to go?

Father soon to disguised.

Mother cooking
sweets and treats,

time to kill another.

I have to call someone.

- No, Chloe, Chloe, no, wait.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay.

But listen, listen, listen,

you gotta think
for a second, okay?

We can't call anybody

because this doesn't
look good for any of us.

- Stu.

Chloe.

See you've already met
the heads of the house.

- You stupid fuck!

- It wasn't easy.

But now it's dangerous.

- You mother fucker!

This is dangerous.

- Fucking...

- You don't think this
makes her your first?

- Fuck.

Jacket pocket.

Getting the fuck out of here.

Oh, fuck that.

Hey, please.

Please help me.

Oh, fuck.

- Chloe, please.

Just get in the car.

- Get the fuck away
from me, holy shit.

- No, no, look, listen,
okay, that wasn't me.

And I can explain but
you just gotta trust me.

- Trust you?

You lied to me, you lied to me!

And that wasn't his house,
you killed those people.

- No, no, look, look,

it wasn't supposed
to go down like that.

- And you wrote a song about it?

- This is just a big
misunderstanding,
all right, but...

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Look, Chloe, that's
him, all right?

And if he gets us, he's
gonna fucking kill us both.

You just gotta get in the car.

- Help!

- He's gonna kill us
both, Chloe, come on!

You gotta get in this car now!

Come on!

Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on.

I'm sorry.

I'm fucking sorry.

- Banished from
the warm soft place.

Introduced to surgical steel.

Frail, impressionable.

He showed me to my master,
commander and captor

a mother glowing
for the first time

Yet my eyes, they
knew true love

blades so perfectly sharpened
upon the table

Shaped by a wonderful light.

Manufactured

Designed with integrity

Was it wrong to be aroused
at such a young age?

Those shining instruments
that bore me

cut me, and calling my
name, Cesarean, Cesarean.

A section in time.

His latex grip made
quite an impression

one that inspired me
for years to come.

An artist aware of their true
form has the most to give.

A unique energy, a presence.

Vibrant and violent.

As old as water and stone

Yet they give names
to their creations,

disguise them as objects,

displayed in corners where
dust dwells

heir intentions are to conceal.

Bind the human spirit
to the common thread.

However, I take no solace
in disguises

No statements, no meanings.

A point of view oh
so sharp

it's sure to cut
through time and space.

Open now, your eyes and heart,

my experience
destroys the human race.

- We're Morbid Annihilator.

And you're not making
it out of here alive

- This, Kevin, what
the fuck is this, man?

- This is something real.

And it's ours.

- No, listen to me, okay?

We gotta go down there
and we've gotta untie her

and we gotta talk this shit
out, okay, the three of us.

Right now.

- Oh, Stu.

I think we might be past
the point of conversation.

- Look at what
you've done, Kevin.

You've lost it.

You're completely gone.

- And you're in love.

- What, what the
fuck does that mean?

- I've been watching you two.

- You've been what, you've
been fucking watching us?

Kevin, you killed an
entire fucking family, man.

- Just as you described.

- No.

No, you talk about words,
words on a fucking page, man.

You told me that you knew
these fucking people, man.

You said this place
was gonna be empty.

- Listen.

We are exploring new
boundaries tonight, dude,

and I just took what
we had planned here

and I tweaked
things a little bit.

- Kevin, I thought the plan was
to invite a girl over and...

- Yes?

And then what?

What did you think we
were gonna do, Stu?

- I don't know.

- That right there.

Your fucking inability to
solidify an idea blows my mind.

Blind ambition.

- I thought we were gonna
fuck with her head, man.

I thought we were gonna
freak her out a little bit

with the music, maybe get laid.

I don't know, something a
little bit more fucking casual.

- Fuck casual.

- I feel like I'm gonna
be sick.

- How about a brain storm.

We'll just take one
of your ideas here

and snowball it into something.

She left her shoes at the door--

- Give me that.

- But her spirit followed after.

- Kevin, give me that.

- It's simple, that's for sure.

But you know simple can be good.

It gives us some fucking
breathing room to dig in there.

We are gonna make
this work, Stu.

We're gonna make this work.

So she left her shoes at the
front door, but her guts trail.

- Of all
the fucking people

who could have answered
that ad, it had to be you!

- She left her shoes
at the front door

but her head, her head
hung in desperate despair.

- Fuck you, man!

- She left her shoes at the
front door, but her feet,

her fucking feet
at the front door.

Stu.

You know what this means, right?

We have to cut off her feet.

We have to cut her feet off.

We're gonna cut off her feet.

- No.

- I thought we we're all
having such a good time.

I do have some
great news, though.

Stu and I have been talking

and we've finally come
to a mutual decision

about your involvement
with the band.

You see, sometimes there
are conflicts of interests.

Creative differences, forces
at odds with one another.

For example, naturally I know

that you would like
to keep your feet.

But the thing is,

we need your feet.

Your contribution to the
arts will not go unnoticed.

- No, wait, wait,
wait, Kevin, Kevin.

Kevin, let me do it.

- What?

- I wanna do it.

- I don't know, man.

Seems like you're
fucking with me.

- No, no, no, I'm not.

Look, you're not even gonna
be able to get through

her ankle bone with your
skinny fucking arms,

look, let me do
it, I wanna do it,

I need this, okay, I need this.

Give me the knife, man.

- Well, then I guess you're
gonna have to get down here

and put your fucking
knee in her back.

- All right, go upstairs, man.

- What?

- Fucking go upstairs, Kevin.

I need you to go upstairs,
find an iron, okay?

And heat it up, get it real hot

'cause we're gonna have
cauterize the wound

or she's gonna fucking bleed out

before we even start
on the other foot.

And also get me, find
a roll of tinfoil

and some mouthwash, and
some dental floss, too,

if you can find it.

- What do you need
all that for, Stu?

- Because, Kevin, we're getting
fucking weird tonight, man.

- Yes.

Yes, that is how you advance
a creative partnership.

Fucking teamwork.

- Sh, sh, sh, it's okay,
it's okay, it's okay

it's okay, it's all right,
listen to me, listen.

I am so sorry.

This is not how the night
was supposed to go down.

Oh, fuck.

Hey, listen, I just
wanted you to know

those words that
you read earlier,

that's not who I am, okay,
this is not who I am.

They're just words,
stupid words, silly words,

they don't mean anything.

You know, I had a really
good time with you tonight.

I really did.

I don't know, you
made me feel good.

Really good, most of the time
my mind is going like this

all the fucking time, I can't
even shut it up, but you,

you made it quiet.

You slowed me down
and it was really nice

and I just wanted
to tell you that.

Before you write me
off as a bad person.

'Cause I'm not a bad person.

And I'm sorry that I lied
to you in the car earlier,

but fucking, Kevin, you know?

He just, he's always,
and he set me up,

he fucking set me
up, you saw this.

I think what we have to do is,

I'll go get Kevin and
then we'll all sit down

and we'll hash this
shit out, okay?

And we'll make it right.

Okay, and then when that's
over, we'll be done,

we'll be free, we
can start fresh.

And then maybe we can, sorry,

and maybe we can
have a real date.

You know, a cup of
coffee, you can tell me,

I don't know, whatever
it is you're into.

What do you say?

What?

What?

Is that not good enough for you?

'Cause I'm running out
of fucking ideas here!

No.

No.

Do you think?

Actually.

No, that actually would.

Hey Kevin, so about that...

Hey, Kev, can I...

Yeah, I could, you know what?

Oh, hey, hey, if
I were to do that,

do you think you could find it
in your heart to forgive me?

Shh.

- So check this out, I couldn't
get everything you wanted,

but I think I found some
pretty cool toys definitely.

No!

Stu!

Fucking do this to me.

Don't you fucking do this to me.

Stu!

Stu.

Help.

Help me!

- No.

- Stu.

Thank you.

- Hey.

It's okay.

It's gonna be okay now.

Oh, it's okay, it's okay,
hold on, let me get this.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, not yet, okay?

Just have a seat.

We're safe now.

I did it.

We did it.

And I know what you're thinking.

Oh, I know.

I owe you.

Just for a second,
I have a surprise.

♪ No, you will never learn

♪ No, you will never learn

♪ No, you will never learn
- May I?

♪ Never learn, never learn

- Look, I know

that you may never look at
me the same after tonight.

And that's okay.

That's okay.

Because we have time.

And I hope...

I hope you can find it in
your heart to forgive me.

Give us a chance.

'Cause I'd be good to you.

And I can be kind.

And I'll listen.

I'll listen.

I will.

And I think, I know
this sounds crazy,

but I think that I love-

- You wanna know what I think?

You haven't listened to a single
thing I've said all night.

You lied to me.

I could never be with
someone like you.

You're exhausting.