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1
00:00:01,053 --> 00:00:04,963
Whitney is taped in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,129 --> 00:00:07,582
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
3
00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:10,218
Uh, can... can we squeeze in here?
4
00:00:10,384 --> 00:00:11,511
Oh.
Oh, perfect.
5
00:00:11,677 --> 00:00:13,087
Thanks.
6
00:00:13,212 --> 00:00:14,348
Do you realize this is the first time
7
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,740
all three of us have been
in a relationship
8
00:00:15,865 --> 00:00:16,767
at the same time?
9
00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:17,775
Yeah, they're gonna need
10
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:19,043
to get a bigger couch in here.
11
00:00:19,168 --> 00:00:21,563
Or maybe you can just get
a smaller ex-husband.
12
00:00:21,729 --> 00:00:23,815
Hey, who's that girl
mark's talking to at the bar?
13
00:00:23,981 --> 00:00:25,299
Her name's Katie.
14
00:00:25,424 --> 00:00:26,623
They've been together non-stop
for the past couple days.
15
00:00:26,748 --> 00:00:29,988
- He's really into her.
- Aww. Mark thinks he's people.
16
00:00:30,154 --> 00:00:32,157
The last two days have been fun.
17
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:33,575
I know. So fun.
18
00:00:33,741 --> 00:00:34,660
I really like you.
19
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,954
Me too.
20
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,206
I wish I liked you
just a little more.
21
00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:40,374
Excuse me?
22
00:00:40,540 --> 00:00:42,334
I know.
I'm so bummed.
23
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,044
Well, maybe I should go.
24
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:45,837
You should definitely go.
25
00:00:48,756 --> 00:00:49,991
Well, at least we can always
count on mark
26
00:00:50,116 --> 00:00:51,093
to be single.
27
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,220
Dude, what happened?
28
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,979
You know what they say.
29
00:00:55,104 --> 00:00:56,347
If you're not sure in 48 hours,
30
00:00:56,472 --> 00:00:58,482
you gotta pull the rip cord.
31
00:00:58,607 --> 00:01:01,285
Is "they" you, Pauly D,
and the situation,
32
00:01:01,410 --> 00:01:02,312
by any chance?
33
00:01:02,478 --> 00:01:04,221
No.
34
00:01:04,346 --> 00:01:07,234
You ever heard
of mastersofpsychology.net?
35
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,026
Nope.
36
00:01:08,192 --> 00:01:09,584
Because a guy who's written for them
37
00:01:09,709 --> 00:01:13,156
coined the term
"48 hour rule" on his vlog.
38
00:01:13,322 --> 00:01:15,433
He says you know in 48 hours
39
00:01:15,558 --> 00:01:17,411
if someone is right for you,
and if you don't,
40
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,353
you're just talking yourself into it
41
00:01:19,478 --> 00:01:20,438
for the hot monkey sex.
42
00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:21,748
And those are his words, not mine.
43
00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,834
The 48 hour rule was true
with me and Whitney.
44
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,493
Oh. No.
45
00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,170
It took me way longer.
46
00:01:27,336 --> 00:01:29,297
No way. It was, like,
exactly 48 hours.
47
00:01:29,463 --> 00:01:30,507
You're remembering it wrong.
48
00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:32,300
How do you know?
You were bombed.
49
00:01:32,466 --> 00:01:35,303
I was not bombed, okay?
She was bombed.
50
00:01:35,469 --> 00:01:37,305
Oh, no, I was more high than bombed.
51
00:01:37,471 --> 00:01:38,306
I was sober.
52
00:01:38,472 --> 00:01:39,725
I was drunk.
53
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:41,935
I hadn't met you guys yet,
54
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:43,353
but I know what night
you're talking about.
55
00:01:43,519 --> 00:01:45,003
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
56
00:01:47,556 --> 00:01:48,400
Hmm.
57
00:01:52,628 --> 00:01:55,741
Wake up!
All right. Ahh.
58
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,942
Okay. Oh, I'm plowed.
59
00:01:58,067 --> 00:02:00,287
You know, this may be
the beer goggles talking,
60
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:01,895
but I think we are
the cutest chicks in here.
61
00:02:02,020 --> 00:02:03,481
Mm-hmm.
62
00:02:03,606 --> 00:02:05,049
I mean, we are
the only chicks in here.
63
00:02:05,174 --> 00:02:06,384
Yeah.
64
00:02:06,509 --> 00:02:09,212
This makes me feel like
we're missing a sale.
65
00:02:09,378 --> 00:02:11,722
Hey. There is nothing to worry about.
66
00:02:11,847 --> 00:02:14,325
We are single ladies in 2008,
67
00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:16,803
and we don't need a thing.
68
00:02:18,137 --> 00:02:20,047
I need some Tequila.
I'm shaking.
69
00:02:20,172 --> 00:02:21,183
Okay.
70
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,366
Oh, Roxanne's coming over here.
71
00:02:22,491 --> 00:02:24,019
Be nice.
72
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,202
What? I like Roxanne.
73
00:02:25,327 --> 00:02:26,604
We just don't have
that much in common.
74
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,506
It's like, she doesn't really drink.
75
00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:30,441
She's always all over Lance.
76
00:02:30,566 --> 00:02:31,892
I just don't know how
to deal with girls
77
00:02:32,017 --> 00:02:33,987
who are defined
by their relationship, you know?
78
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,312
Mm.
79
00:02:35,437 --> 00:02:38,482
Shoot me if I'm ever like that, okay?
80
00:02:38,607 --> 00:02:40,451
- Hey, you guys.
- Hi.
81
00:02:40,576 --> 00:02:42,329
Thank you so much for coming.
82
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,164
Hi, Roxanne.
Happy Birthday, Lance.
83
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,190
Oh, thanks, but isn't
every day we don't die
84
00:02:46,315 --> 00:02:50,921
a happy new birth day?
85
00:02:52,421 --> 00:02:53,631
Oh.
86
00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:55,566
Man, it's been forever
since I've seen you guys.
87
00:02:55,691 --> 00:02:57,234
But I'll have more free time now,
88
00:02:57,359 --> 00:02:58,602
since Hillary lost the nomination
89
00:02:58,727 --> 00:03:00,037
and our phone bank closed.
90
00:03:00,162 --> 00:03:01,097
Oh.
91
00:03:01,263 --> 00:03:02,406
I can't believe our next president
92
00:03:02,531 --> 00:03:03,767
could be the only black guy
in Chicago
93
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,603
lily hasn't slept with.
94
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:08,522
Still got five months.
95
00:03:13,876 --> 00:03:15,469
Oh, no.
96
00:03:15,594 --> 00:03:19,940
Well, we found where Chicago
keeps all its dudes.
97
00:03:20,065 --> 00:03:21,192
Yeah, really.
98
00:03:21,317 --> 00:03:24,261
The prettiest girl in here
is that Asian guy.
99
00:03:24,386 --> 00:03:25,596
All right, well,
let's go get a drink,
100
00:03:25,721 --> 00:03:26,597
and then we'll head out.
101
00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:27,982
Just text that girl Karen.
102
00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:29,251
She has some cute friends.
103
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:30,317
No, I don't want to text Karen.
104
00:03:30,442 --> 00:03:31,402
She's so boring.
105
00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:32,603
She doesn't have any opinions,
106
00:03:32,728 --> 00:03:33,804
and she never has anything to say.
107
00:03:33,929 --> 00:03:35,257
Oh.
108
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:38,468
Yeah, definitely don't text
the perfect woman.
109
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:45,616
Uh...
110
00:03:45,741 --> 00:03:47,310
Seriously?
You're not gonna let me in?
111
00:03:47,476 --> 00:03:48,812
Not without I.D.
112
00:03:50,779 --> 00:03:53,390
Uh, I left it at my office,
113
00:03:53,515 --> 00:03:57,028
where I work,
'cause I'm 30 years old.
114
00:03:57,194 --> 00:04:01,665
But why do you still dress
like a nine-year-old?
115
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,620
Wake up! Okay.
All right.
116
00:04:05,786 --> 00:04:07,321
- I'm up.
- I'm up.
117
00:04:07,446 --> 00:04:08,439
Think I'll have that cigarette.
118
00:04:08,564 --> 00:04:09,740
Okay.
119
00:04:09,865 --> 00:04:12,377
Be so much easier if you could
just snort cigarettes.
120
00:04:16,438 --> 00:04:17,481
Ugh.
121
00:04:17,606 --> 00:04:20,135
Hey, check it out.
There's a girl.
122
00:04:22,511 --> 00:04:25,623
I think we've struck bronze.
123
00:04:25,748 --> 00:04:27,017
Yeah, well, there's one of her,
124
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:29,560
and there's two of us,
so how should we play this?
125
00:04:29,685 --> 00:04:31,762
I don't know.
126
00:04:31,887 --> 00:04:36,651
She should probably be in the middle.
127
00:04:36,817 --> 00:04:38,803
Okay, well, first of all,
128
00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:41,572
"probably"?
129
00:04:41,697 --> 00:04:43,240
Second of all,
130
00:04:43,365 --> 00:04:45,577
I'm talking about we should
rock, paper, scissors for her.
131
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:47,704
Oh.
132
00:04:50,139 --> 00:04:53,293
Guess I'm gonna go find
that Asian guy.
133
00:05:00,115 --> 00:05:01,092
Hi.
134
00:05:01,258 --> 00:05:03,527
Okay, here we go.
135
00:05:03,652 --> 00:05:05,597
Listen, I never do this, but...
136
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,299
Oh, God, please stop.
137
00:05:08,424 --> 00:05:10,367
Every time a guy says,
"I never do this,"
138
00:05:10,492 --> 00:05:12,479
he always does this.
139
00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,537
- Really?
- Yes.
140
00:05:13,662 --> 00:05:14,772
Because what I was gonna say is, uh,
141
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,273
I never do this, but I could
tell all the way
142
00:05:16,398 --> 00:05:18,902
from the other end of the bar
that your personality sucks.
143
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,489
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
144
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:23,747
Someone read the game.
145
00:05:23,872 --> 00:05:25,749
Oh, yeah, no, I read the game,
146
00:05:25,874 --> 00:05:27,418
but you're only supposed
to use those moves
147
00:05:27,543 --> 00:05:29,162
for girls that you're
actually attracted to.
148
00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:30,154
- Ah!
- Yeah.
149
00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:31,164
Wow.
150
00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:32,874
No, you're supposed to have
a comeback for that.
151
00:05:33,115 --> 00:05:34,625
Okay, why don't you come back
152
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,795
as someone I'd be interested in?
153
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:41,498
That answers my question
on what you're doing alone
154
00:05:41,623 --> 00:05:43,176
in a bar full of guys.
155
00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:44,427
You know what?
I'm just gonna...
156
00:05:50,966 --> 00:05:54,354
Hey, are you bipolar?
157
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,023
Are you bisexual?
158
00:05:57,189 --> 00:05:59,609
Well, I am attracted to you.
159
00:05:59,775 --> 00:06:01,194
Okay, I'm leaving.
160
00:06:05,881 --> 00:06:08,492
Are you coming?
161
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,870
Ooh, she's playing hard to get.
162
00:06:14,456 --> 00:06:17,401
You know, we're not even
choosing to talk
163
00:06:17,526 --> 00:06:18,502
to each other right now.
164
00:06:18,627 --> 00:06:21,205
Our bodies chose for us.
165
00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:22,806
It's millions of years of evolution.
166
00:06:22,931 --> 00:06:26,343
Are you familiar with pheromones?
167
00:06:26,468 --> 00:06:29,236
White guys, man.
168
00:06:32,808 --> 00:06:33,651
Ahem.
169
00:06:33,776 --> 00:06:36,053
'Scuse me.
170
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,355
Sorry.
171
00:06:37,521 --> 00:06:39,399
Weirdo.
172
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,466
Okay, uh...
173
00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:46,990
This is a copy
of my birth certificate.
174
00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:48,324
Hm.
175
00:06:48,490 --> 00:06:49,701
Can I please go in now?
176
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:51,669
No.
177
00:06:51,794 --> 00:06:53,163
Now you just want it too much.
178
00:07:00,769 --> 00:07:02,997
Oh.
179
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:04,090
That guy.
180
00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:11,629
Morning, Whitney.
181
00:07:13,163 --> 00:07:14,758
Morning...
182
00:07:15,459 --> 00:07:16,460
You.
183
00:07:21,761 --> 00:07:23,580
{pub}You know what?
I really have to get to work.
184
00:07:23,705 --> 00:07:25,682
The boss is kind of a stickler, so...
185
00:07:25,807 --> 00:07:29,783
Uh, you're a freelance
photographer, Whitney.
186
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:31,387
You showed me a billboard
you did last night.
187
00:07:31,512 --> 00:07:33,022
It was right after you got
into an argument
188
00:07:33,147 --> 00:07:35,080
with a parking meter.
189
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:39,209
Look, um, I never do this, so...
190
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:40,864
First of all, when a girl says
she never does this,
191
00:07:40,989 --> 00:07:43,500
she always does this.
192
00:07:43,625 --> 00:07:44,868
Second of all, I actually don't have
193
00:07:44,993 --> 00:07:46,508
many one-night stands either.
194
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,905
Oh, no, no, no, one-night
stands are, like, my jam.
195
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:50,957
I normally, um, never sleep over.
196
00:07:51,082 --> 00:07:52,514
So I'm just gonna...
197
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,891
Oh, well, great.
Go.
198
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:57,413
Um...
199
00:07:57,538 --> 00:07:58,937
Okay. Ahem.
200
00:07:59,103 --> 00:08:01,314
What, now you have dignity?
201
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:03,520
Look, dude.
202
00:08:03,645 --> 00:08:04,988
Here's the thing.
I just, um...
203
00:08:05,113 --> 00:08:07,112
Dude?
204
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,906
You don't even know my name, do you?
205
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,278
Okay, I'm sorry.
I forgot.
206
00:08:12,403 --> 00:08:15,286
I'm sure you said it, like,
ten times last night, but...
207
00:08:15,452 --> 00:08:17,872
Yeah, you know, you said it
a few times, too.
208
00:08:19,127 --> 00:08:20,750
Your name is slow down?
209
00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:22,877
Okay, look, I'm sorry.
210
00:08:23,043 --> 00:08:24,838
It's just that, um, ahem,
211
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,442
I just got out of something,
212
00:08:26,567 --> 00:08:29,217
and I really need to work
on myself right now.
213
00:08:31,039 --> 00:08:32,554
Okay.
214
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:33,633
I'm serious.
215
00:08:33,758 --> 00:08:35,018
I just, um, ahem,
216
00:08:35,143 --> 00:08:36,850
I could really see myself...
217
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,187
Falling for me?
218
00:08:38,312 --> 00:08:39,686
And you don't want to take
things too seriously?
219
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,479
You know what? It's okay.
You don't have to do this.
220
00:08:41,645 --> 00:08:44,107
You don't ever have to justify
casual sex to a dude.
221
00:08:44,273 --> 00:08:45,461
Great! Okay.
222
00:08:45,586 --> 00:08:46,896
Okay, great. Perfect.
223
00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:48,898
We don't have to pretend
this is more than it is.
224
00:08:49,023 --> 00:08:51,364
You know, I mean,
sometimes sex is just sex.
225
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,450
Totally.
So what do I owe you?
226
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,174
I'm so glad we're hanging out.
227
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,106
We never get to have
one-on-one girl time.
228
00:09:06,231 --> 00:09:08,172
I mean, without Whitney.
229
00:09:08,338 --> 00:09:11,383
I usually only see you
when you're out... partying.
230
00:09:11,549 --> 00:09:12,524
Oh, right.
231
00:09:12,649 --> 00:09:15,349
What else do you like to do?
232
00:09:15,474 --> 00:09:17,348
Uh, mushrooms.
233
00:09:17,514 --> 00:09:21,121
Yeah, I love to do mushrooms and...
234
00:09:21,246 --> 00:09:23,123
Oh. Oh, oh. Okay.
235
00:09:23,248 --> 00:09:24,892
See, I was, um, I was thinking
more along the lines
236
00:09:25,017 --> 00:09:26,690
of rock climbing.
237
00:09:26,856 --> 00:09:28,295
Oh, no, rock climbing on mushrooms
238
00:09:28,420 --> 00:09:30,444
would be super-dangerous.
239
00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:32,399
What do you like to do?
240
00:09:32,524 --> 00:09:34,184
She likes making jewelry, meditating,
241
00:09:34,309 --> 00:09:35,652
and dancing in my dreams.
242
00:09:35,777 --> 00:09:36,659
Hey!
243
00:09:36,825 --> 00:09:38,939
Didn't know Lance was coming.
244
00:09:39,064 --> 00:09:40,204
For a girls' night.
245
00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:41,163
Just pretend I'm not here.
246
00:09:41,558 --> 00:09:42,581
Yeah, you know what?
247
00:09:42,747 --> 00:09:45,195
Lance is basically
one of the girls anyway.
248
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,747
So tell me about this idea you had
249
00:09:46,872 --> 00:09:48,462
for a food blog.
250
00:09:48,628 --> 00:09:51,485
Oh, well, I have
a very sophisticated palate,
251
00:09:51,610 --> 00:09:55,010
and I failed out of college, so...
252
00:09:55,176 --> 00:09:57,930
Uh, can I get a shot?
253
00:09:58,096 --> 00:10:01,619
And a shotgun.
254
00:10:03,977 --> 00:10:06,266
Alex, do you remember
when you were like,
255
00:10:06,391 --> 00:10:09,069
"I'll have a small
strawberry banana smoothie,"
256
00:10:09,194 --> 00:10:10,170
and I was like,
257
00:10:10,295 --> 00:10:12,673
"do you want
a free boost with that...
258
00:10:12,798 --> 00:10:14,530
Like my phone number?"
259
00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:16,490
You remember that?
260
00:10:16,656 --> 00:10:18,011
Uh, yeah.
261
00:10:18,136 --> 00:10:20,786
Well, it was two days ago
at Jamba Juice.
262
00:10:20,952 --> 00:10:23,717
Are you mad at me?
263
00:10:23,842 --> 00:10:26,041
No. Why would I be mad at you?
264
00:10:26,207 --> 00:10:28,122
I'm just... I'm just being weird
265
00:10:28,247 --> 00:10:32,506
because you didn't notice
my new haircut.
266
00:10:32,672 --> 00:10:34,128
Well, that's because
we only met once,
267
00:10:34,253 --> 00:10:36,885
and you were wearing a visor.
268
00:10:37,051 --> 00:10:38,132
Excuse me.
269
00:10:38,257 --> 00:10:40,639
These drinks are compliments
of the lady over there.
270
00:10:43,892 --> 00:10:46,440
Okay.
271
00:10:46,565 --> 00:10:48,230
A beer for you.
272
00:10:48,396 --> 00:10:50,774
And a Shirley temple for the lady.
273
00:10:50,940 --> 00:10:53,485
She wasn't sure that your friend
was of legal drinking age.
274
00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:57,156
Unbelievable.
275
00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:58,407
Who is he?
276
00:10:58,573 --> 00:10:59,586
Is he in a band?
277
00:10:59,711 --> 00:11:01,855
Are they better than my band?
278
00:11:01,980 --> 00:11:03,162
Does he have any weed?
279
00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:06,540
Honestly, I don't even know his name.
280
00:11:06,706 --> 00:11:09,129
This basket of bread is compliments
281
00:11:09,254 --> 00:11:12,421
of the gentleman over there.
282
00:11:15,673 --> 00:11:17,271
He said he was worried
you may have traded
283
00:11:17,396 --> 00:11:18,844
all your food for heroine.
284
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:23,850
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
285
00:11:27,923 --> 00:11:28,966
Hey, hey, hey.
286
00:11:29,091 --> 00:11:30,584
Uh, that was really cute
what you did back there
287
00:11:30,709 --> 00:11:31,565
with the drinks.
288
00:11:31,731 --> 00:11:33,108
Thanks for the fight.
289
00:11:33,274 --> 00:11:34,254
I'm sorry.
290
00:11:34,379 --> 00:11:35,322
I didn't mean to cause a rift
291
00:11:35,447 --> 00:11:38,113
between you and your daughter.
292
00:11:38,279 --> 00:11:40,240
Do you have her
for the whole weekend?
293
00:11:40,406 --> 00:11:41,408
I met her two days ago.
294
00:11:41,574 --> 00:11:43,368
At build-a-bear?
295
00:11:43,534 --> 00:11:45,078
Come on, she's 26.
296
00:11:45,244 --> 00:11:46,934
Okay, I'm 26.
297
00:11:47,059 --> 00:11:49,041
She looks ten years younger than me.
298
00:11:49,207 --> 00:11:51,205
You know, I'm not quite sure
who you're insulting.
299
00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:53,657
So I'm more clear:
300
00:11:53,782 --> 00:11:54,975
You need to get some product
for that hair,
301
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:57,549
because you look like Courtney Cox.
302
00:11:57,715 --> 00:11:59,313
No, no, no.
Clean hair, fresh shave.
303
00:11:59,438 --> 00:12:00,677
That's, like, my thing.
304
00:12:00,843 --> 00:12:02,616
Oh.
305
00:12:02,741 --> 00:12:04,218
Well, you should probably
get back to your date.
306
00:12:04,343 --> 00:12:05,974
She probably needs you
to cut up her hot dog.
307
00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:07,721
Well, you should probably
get back to your date.
308
00:12:07,846 --> 00:12:10,140
He's dead.
309
00:12:10,265 --> 00:12:11,271
Your date is terrible.
310
00:12:11,437 --> 00:12:13,844
Your date is the worst.
311
00:12:13,969 --> 00:12:16,096
- Hey, what the hell?
- Mm. Mm.
312
00:12:16,221 --> 00:12:17,364
Oh, you know what?
I-I can't.
313
00:12:17,489 --> 00:12:19,557
- Hey, my name is Alex.
- Okay, great.
314
00:12:25,868 --> 00:12:26,745
{pub}Hello?
315
00:12:26,911 --> 00:12:27,955
Hey.
316
00:12:28,121 --> 00:12:29,079
I just got your message.
317
00:12:29,204 --> 00:12:31,166
You had sex in the bathroom?
318
00:12:31,332 --> 00:12:32,668
Yeah.
319
00:12:32,834 --> 00:12:33,752
When are you gonna see her again?
320
00:12:33,877 --> 00:12:35,045
I don't know.
I haven't called her.
321
00:12:35,211 --> 00:12:36,588
You don't call her,
I'm gonna call her.
322
00:12:36,754 --> 00:12:38,173
No... no, I don't have her number.
323
00:12:38,339 --> 00:12:39,842
Oh, well, did you get a last name?
324
00:12:40,008 --> 00:12:41,408
No.
325
00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:42,576
I mean, she said it was cummings,
326
00:12:42,701 --> 00:12:44,680
but that's obviously a joke.
327
00:12:46,139 --> 00:12:49,309
You had sex in the men's bathroom?
328
00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:53,480
Thank God your feet
never touched the ground.
329
00:12:53,646 --> 00:12:55,155
Oh, my gosh.
330
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:56,650
This is so exciting.
331
00:12:56,816 --> 00:12:57,991
You know what?
332
00:12:58,116 --> 00:12:59,777
I'm gonna have a second drink.
333
00:13:03,455 --> 00:13:05,325
Oh, my God.
He texted me.
334
00:13:05,491 --> 00:13:07,411
How did he even get my number?
335
00:13:07,577 --> 00:13:09,203
What's it say?
336
00:13:09,328 --> 00:13:11,338
"I miss you."
337
00:13:11,463 --> 00:13:13,640
This guy does not get me.
338
00:13:15,434 --> 00:13:19,131
"My penis wrote that."
339
00:13:19,297 --> 00:13:21,383
He totally gets you.
340
00:13:21,549 --> 00:13:24,094
- Text him back.
- No, no.
341
00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:25,719
Come... admit it.
342
00:13:25,844 --> 00:13:27,389
You like this guy.
343
00:13:27,555 --> 00:13:29,173
Okay, fine.
344
00:13:29,298 --> 00:13:30,958
I like him, okay?
345
00:13:31,083 --> 00:13:34,495
He's really funny and super smart
346
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:36,730
and totally calls me out on my crap.
347
00:13:36,855 --> 00:13:38,899
But I am not dumb enough
to think that I could have
348
00:13:39,024 --> 00:13:40,300
something real with him, okay?
349
00:13:40,425 --> 00:13:41,635
I mean, what kind of person
leaves their date
350
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,170
in a restaurant
to go have sex with someone
351
00:13:43,295 --> 00:13:45,449
in a bathroom?
352
00:13:45,615 --> 00:13:46,950
You.
353
00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:48,041
Okay.
354
00:13:48,166 --> 00:13:50,978
Yeah, and I'm a terrible person.
355
00:13:51,103 --> 00:13:51,979
Okay?
356
00:13:52,104 --> 00:13:53,814
I mean, he's a random hookup,
357
00:13:53,939 --> 00:13:55,208
and he's obviously a player.
358
00:13:55,374 --> 00:13:57,985
But he tracked you down.
359
00:13:58,110 --> 00:14:01,131
I mean, this guy could be
your soul mate.
360
00:14:01,297 --> 00:14:02,990
Come on.
Don't you believe in fate?
361
00:14:03,115 --> 00:14:04,384
Or destiny?
362
00:14:04,550 --> 00:14:06,993
Hey, I do not believe
in fate or destiny, okay?
363
00:14:07,118 --> 00:14:09,179
Fate and destiny
are names of strippers
364
00:14:09,304 --> 00:14:12,499
who wind up being identified
by their dental records.
365
00:14:12,624 --> 00:14:14,568
Okay, our waitress clearly quit.
366
00:14:14,693 --> 00:14:16,837
I'm gonna go get us drinks.
367
00:14:16,962 --> 00:14:17,981
Classic Whitney.
368
00:14:18,147 --> 00:14:19,473
Every time she likes a guy,
369
00:14:19,598 --> 00:14:20,607
she pushes him away.
370
00:14:20,732 --> 00:14:22,194
I knew she wouldn't text him back.
371
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,394
Oh, she's texting him back.
372
00:14:24,519 --> 00:14:26,180
Okay, but if you want
to sound like her,
373
00:14:26,305 --> 00:14:27,616
it has to be something sexual.
374
00:14:27,782 --> 00:14:29,283
Okay, uh...
375
00:14:30,692 --> 00:14:33,288
I feel like I'm cheating on Lance.
376
00:14:33,454 --> 00:14:35,589
For God's sakes, give it to me.
377
00:14:35,714 --> 00:14:38,251
"Da da da-da da, from behind."
Send.
378
00:14:38,417 --> 00:14:41,962
Oh!
379
00:14:42,087 --> 00:14:43,297
Okay, you guys, seriously, let's go.
380
00:14:43,422 --> 00:14:45,008
This place is dead.
381
00:14:45,174 --> 00:14:46,416
No! Dead?
Are... are you kidding?
382
00:14:46,541 --> 00:14:48,135
I mean, did you even notice?
383
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:50,722
Look, there's word jumbles
on the napkins.
384
00:14:50,888 --> 00:14:51,839
Yeah, plus,
385
00:14:51,964 --> 00:14:54,476
I'm so drunk I can't even move.
386
00:14:54,642 --> 00:14:55,709
I just need to sit...
387
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:56,944
Okay, we can go.
388
00:14:57,069 --> 00:14:58,313
Oh.
389
00:15:02,074 --> 00:15:02,985
Hey.
390
00:15:03,151 --> 00:15:04,585
Hi.
391
00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:05,779
What are you doing here?
392
00:15:05,945 --> 00:15:08,115
Well, I-I got your text.
393
00:15:08,281 --> 00:15:10,117
- My text?
- Yeah.
394
00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:12,025
Okay, I'm gonna kill them.
395
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:13,727
I did not text you.
396
00:15:13,852 --> 00:15:15,414
They texted you.
397
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:17,998
- Ah.
- So, ahem.
398
00:15:18,123 --> 00:15:20,267
Well, uh...
399
00:15:20,392 --> 00:15:22,462
I'm here now.
Do you wanna go hang out?
400
00:15:22,628 --> 00:15:24,171
Okay, you think you can just
say the word,
401
00:15:24,296 --> 00:15:26,640
and I'm gonna
have sex with you again?
402
00:15:26,765 --> 00:15:29,042
Well, no.
403
00:15:29,167 --> 00:15:32,112
I mean, yeah,
that would probably work, but...
404
00:15:32,237 --> 00:15:33,914
And your friends made
some pretty big promises
405
00:15:34,039 --> 00:15:35,517
on that text, but...
406
00:15:37,310 --> 00:15:39,586
I-I'm saying that we could go
somewhere else
407
00:15:39,711 --> 00:15:41,398
and... and just hang out.
408
00:15:41,564 --> 00:15:42,890
Okay, Alex.
409
00:15:43,015 --> 00:15:45,277
You seem like a very nice guy, Alex.
410
00:15:45,443 --> 00:15:46,894
Alex. I...
Look, I know you know my name.
411
00:15:47,019 --> 00:15:48,996
But you... you're being an idiot.
412
00:15:49,121 --> 00:15:50,741
There's obviously something here.
413
00:15:50,907 --> 00:15:51,783
Like what?
414
00:15:51,949 --> 00:15:53,534
Most girls I date are boring.
415
00:15:53,659 --> 00:15:55,569
And, you know, you surprise me.
416
00:15:55,694 --> 00:15:57,337
Mostly it's the bad kind
of surprise, yeah, sure.
417
00:15:57,462 --> 00:15:59,573
Of course.
418
00:15:59,698 --> 00:16:00,874
But it's still a surprise.
419
00:16:00,999 --> 00:16:02,342
And you know what?
420
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:03,962
I don't know how this ends.
421
00:16:05,504 --> 00:16:08,649
I'm sorry, but I just don't
want a relationship.
422
00:16:08,774 --> 00:16:10,651
Okay?
I am on my own.
423
00:16:10,776 --> 00:16:12,721
And I like it that way.
424
00:16:12,887 --> 00:16:13,990
So, ahem.
425
00:16:14,115 --> 00:16:15,155
All right, tough guy.
426
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,348
You think you're tough
'cause you got sneakers.
427
00:16:19,351 --> 00:16:20,694
What are you doing?
Are you... are you choking?
428
00:16:20,819 --> 00:16:22,162
Oh, hey.
Everybody give us some room.
429
00:16:22,287 --> 00:16:23,497
Give us some room.
Here, here we go.
430
00:16:23,622 --> 00:16:24,631
- Okay, I'm okay.
- One, two, three.
431
00:16:24,756 --> 00:16:25,666
Okay, I'm...
432
00:16:25,791 --> 00:16:27,444
Come on, shut up.
Breathe!
433
00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:28,468
Agh!
434
00:16:28,593 --> 00:16:30,304
It's... I'm fine!
435
00:16:30,429 --> 00:16:31,939
It was an ice cube.
It melted.
436
00:16:32,064 --> 00:16:33,190
I'm fine.
437
00:16:33,315 --> 00:16:34,708
Okay.
438
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:36,536
Thank you.
439
00:16:36,702 --> 00:16:39,613
Yeah, you're welcome.
440
00:16:39,738 --> 00:16:42,549
You just tried to save me.
That's... pfft.
441
00:16:42,674 --> 00:16:46,129
No guy I've ever dated
would've done that.
442
00:16:46,295 --> 00:16:48,465
What kind of guys
have you been dating?
443
00:16:53,552 --> 00:16:56,681
I told Lance
he was not allowed to come.
444
00:16:56,847 --> 00:16:59,032
Just us girls.
445
00:16:59,157 --> 00:17:01,561
Am I drunk?
'Cause if I am, I like it.
446
00:17:01,727 --> 00:17:03,303
You've had two drinks.
447
00:17:03,428 --> 00:17:04,438
It gets way better.
448
00:17:04,563 --> 00:17:06,907
Oh, we should order Jagerbombs.
449
00:17:07,032 --> 00:17:08,875
You know, 'cause we still
haven't seen each other naked.
450
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,894
Wha... oh, okay.
451
00:17:13,531 --> 00:17:16,034
Oh, hang on.
That's Lance.
452
00:17:17,702 --> 00:17:18,652
You know what?
453
00:17:18,777 --> 00:17:19,955
I'll just let it go to voicemail.
454
00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:21,989
Hey, I'm sorry,
455
00:17:22,114 --> 00:17:24,791
you know, that I get annoyed
you're always with Lance.
456
00:17:24,916 --> 00:17:26,586
I-I think maybe I'm just jealous.
457
00:17:26,752 --> 00:17:28,046
You guys seem like
the perfect couple,
458
00:17:28,212 --> 00:17:32,175
and sometimes I just wish
I could meet the right guy.
459
00:17:35,011 --> 00:17:36,888
Uh, Lance and I
are not the perfect couple.
460
00:17:37,054 --> 00:17:38,105
We fight a lot.
461
00:17:38,230 --> 00:17:40,434
I know it seems
like we don't, but... we do.
462
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:41,808
Yeah, but that... that's okay.
463
00:17:41,933 --> 00:17:43,478
I mean, everyone fights.
Just makes you normal.
464
00:17:43,644 --> 00:17:45,095
Yeah, no, yeah.
Pfft. You're right.
465
00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:47,732
I mean, we're probably just
going through a tough time.
466
00:17:47,898 --> 00:17:48,932
You see, this is good.
467
00:17:49,057 --> 00:17:50,183
This is why we have girl time.
468
00:17:50,308 --> 00:17:51,570
So we can open up.
469
00:17:51,736 --> 00:17:53,520
Yeah, we thought that having
a baby might solve it,
470
00:17:53,645 --> 00:17:55,489
but we just have not been able
to get pregnant, you know.
471
00:17:55,614 --> 00:17:57,909
The doctor thinks I might have
a tipped uterus, so.
472
00:17:58,075 --> 00:18:01,121
Wow, okay.
Throwing it wide open.
473
00:18:04,422 --> 00:18:06,585
You know, I'm kind of
disappointed in you.
474
00:18:06,751 --> 00:18:08,335
It's predictable
and not surprising at all
475
00:18:08,460 --> 00:18:10,547
to sleep with a guy
that saved your life.
476
00:18:10,713 --> 00:18:11,605
Okay, you did not save my life,
477
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:12,789
and I'm not gonna sleep.
478
00:18:12,914 --> 00:18:13,884
Whoa, hold on.
479
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:15,177
You're not gonna spend the night?
480
00:18:15,343 --> 00:18:16,636
No. That's not my thing.
481
00:18:16,802 --> 00:18:18,345
It's not your thing.
Got it.
482
00:18:18,470 --> 00:18:20,380
Look, uh, hey.
483
00:18:20,505 --> 00:18:22,105
I think you should go.
484
00:18:23,141 --> 00:18:24,311
Excuse me?
485
00:18:24,477 --> 00:18:25,602
Yeah, if you're not
gonna spend the night,
486
00:18:25,727 --> 00:18:28,755
then I think you should go.
487
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,066
Okay.
488
00:18:30,232 --> 00:18:32,950
You're not gonna sleep with me?
489
00:18:34,236 --> 00:18:35,228
Nuh-uh.
490
00:18:35,353 --> 00:18:37,616
Bye-bye.
491
00:18:37,782 --> 00:18:39,332
Okay, what game is this?
492
00:18:39,457 --> 00:18:40,784
'Cause I will play, and I will win.
493
00:18:40,909 --> 00:18:43,288
I just need to know the rules.
494
00:18:43,454 --> 00:18:44,371
Look, it's not a game.
495
00:18:44,496 --> 00:18:45,539
I don't want to play a game with you.
496
00:18:45,664 --> 00:18:46,707
I like you, okay?
497
00:18:46,832 --> 00:18:47,874
The whole thing where we hook up
498
00:18:47,999 --> 00:18:49,443
and then you leave, I do that too.
499
00:18:49,568 --> 00:18:51,144
But I don't want
to do that with you, all right?
500
00:18:51,269 --> 00:18:54,081
Trust me, I can get a much less
exhausting version of that
501
00:18:54,206 --> 00:18:56,843
with other girls.
502
00:18:57,009 --> 00:18:59,804
Okay, well,
so I'm just gonna sleep here?
503
00:18:59,970 --> 00:19:02,322
No, you're gonna sleep
here, all right?
504
00:19:02,447 --> 00:19:04,100
'Cause I sleep here.
505
00:19:04,266 --> 00:19:06,009
And if you're still here
in the morning,
506
00:19:06,134 --> 00:19:07,938
then this is happening, okay?
507
00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:11,131
So good night.
508
00:19:11,256 --> 00:19:13,693
And hopefully,
you're here in the morning.
509
00:19:13,859 --> 00:19:16,279
Okay, I know what this game is.
510
00:19:16,445 --> 00:19:19,324
It's not a game.
Shut up. Go to sleep.
511
00:19:55,443 --> 00:19:58,294
Ha, ha.
You're my girlfriend.
512
00:20:07,168 --> 00:20:08,790
{pub}Three years later,
and we're still here.
513
00:20:08,956 --> 00:20:09,846
I guess you have to admit
514
00:20:09,971 --> 00:20:12,002
mark's 48 hour rule is true.
515
00:20:12,168 --> 00:20:13,383
Okay, I liked you,
516
00:20:13,508 --> 00:20:15,218
but it wasn't
until 3:00 in the morning,
517
00:20:15,343 --> 00:20:18,675
so technically, that's 53 hours.
518
00:20:18,841 --> 00:20:20,256
Oh, I guess we should just
call it, then.
519
00:20:20,381 --> 00:20:21,761
You know, it's probably for the best.
520
00:20:21,927 --> 00:20:25,261
It's been a long time
since you surprised me.
521
00:20:28,934 --> 00:20:30,099
That was a surprise.
522
00:20:30,224 --> 00:20:31,634
You know what would surprise me
523
00:20:31,759 --> 00:20:32,902
would be if you cleaned it up.
524
00:20:34,962 --> 00:20:36,406
Okay, fine.
I'll give you a real one.
525
00:20:36,531 --> 00:20:37,907
Something I've never told you before
526
00:20:38,032 --> 00:20:40,109
is the morning after I saw you
at the restaurant,
527
00:20:40,234 --> 00:20:41,310
I looked you up.
528
00:20:41,435 --> 00:20:42,345
I knew it.
529
00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:44,013
You were into me from day two.
530
00:20:44,138 --> 00:20:45,081
You insulted me,
531
00:20:45,206 --> 00:20:46,382
you had sex with me in a bathroom,
532
00:20:46,507 --> 00:20:47,650
and you told me to leave.
533
00:20:47,775 --> 00:20:49,952
I mean, I'm only human.
534
00:20:52,253 --> 00:20:55,462
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
535
00:20:55,512 --> 00:21:00,062
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36426
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