All language subtitles for Whitney s01e14 Mind Games.eng

Hi.

Hi, babe.

Hey, we went ahead
and ate without you.

Oh, sorry, after work
I got dinner with Craig

and they had karaoke,
so I did a couple songs.

I went hard at lady antebellum

and bombed.

Oh, that's weird.
Oh, that's Craig.

- Weren't you just with Craig?
- Yeah, he's such an idiot.

What?

Okay, why do you want to know
my shoe size, you psycho?

I'm a 10.

Okay, that myth is not true,

because I actually
have a very small penis.

Good-bye.
Pfft.

What? Craig was buying me insoles.

This Craig guy's buying you insoles?

Yeah, my feet are killing me.

High heels are evil.
Whoever invented these things

were trying to
make women easier to catch

and drag back to their caves.

He said he was in the drugstore
and he thought of me.

Okay, you don't think
about a girl at the drugstore

unless you're sleeping with her

or you have an unfortunate
souvenir from sleeping with her.

This guy knows
you have a boyfriend, right?

One that looks,
and may possibly be, tough.

What are you guys implying?

That Craig's interest in you
doesn't stop at your feet.

It travels due north from there.

And then it goes slightly South.

And then it goes back up north.

And then it goes east-west,
east-west, east-west.

- Okay, we get it.
- Mark.

Sorry.

Craig and I just work together.

Yeah, but you don't
just work together, you know.

He gets you stuff,
he calls you after work,

you guys do karaoke.

It seems like if it were switched,

I'd be in a lot of trouble.

Okay, you're being insane.

Craig and I are just friends.

Yeah, what's this friend look like?

I will show you.

And you will see that
Craig is just Craig.

You have a picture
of this guy in your phone?

Okay, he was wearing
a boat-neck sweater,

what was I,
not going to take a picture?

Glasses. Smart guy.
They're the worst.

They can't get in your pants,
so they get in your brain

and they work their way South.

And then they go back up north.

And then they go
east and west and east and west.

Mark.

This is ridiculous.
There is nothing going on.

Craig has a girlfriend named Marcine

who he's been with forever.

"Marcine"?

Yes.

I mean, that's obviously
a name you make up

when you're lying.

Alex, seriously?

Seriously.

The weirdest part is you and Craig

would totally love each other.

You know what?
Let's do a dinner,

you, me, Craig, and Marcine.

No, I do not want to do a dinner.

It'll get you out of
game night with Lily and Neal.

Okay, I'll do a dinner.

Whitney is taped

in front of a live
studio audience, so...

What is it about couples
after they've

been together for a year?

Their need to host game nights
becomes all-consuming.

Don't chat me up.
We're not on the same team.

Well, how do you know?

Because we're going to play
holes versus poles.

I want to win,
and I cannot win with a woman.

Well, that might have more to do with

your use of phrases, like,
"holes versus poles."

Think about it.

Have you ever seen
a woman win jeopardy!?

Yes, I have.

I'm not saying that women are dumb.

I'm saying they're too smart.

They overthink everything.
Largest animal?

"Um, that depends.
Are we talking land or water?

Height or weight?"

Eeeh!

Time's up.
Blue whale... boom.

Okay, Neal and I
are engaged, we're a team.

No.

Mark, you are comfortably
in your '30s.

Skooch, skooch.

Just don't slow me down
with your Slovaries.

- And go.
- Candy.

- Uh, cane.
- Yes.

- March.
- Madness.

Yes.
Pig.

- Skin.
- Got it.

- Spike.
- TV.

Yeah!
That's how it's done.

Our work's cut out for us, partner.

Yeah. I'm not
worried at all, partner.

- Nope.
- All right.

Go.

Oak.

Tree.

Nope.
Uh, place.

Forest.

Baseball.

Bat.

No.

Come on, Neal.
You're all over the map, here.

Okay, let's not panic.

Central.

Cent... well, now you're
just sayings words.

That's what this game is.

- And that's time.
- Ah.

On her yogurt!

How many times are you going
write your name on yogurt?

I know!

So, uh, it's so weird that
you guys have never met before,

because you guys both
come here all the time.

Oh, Marcine and I love this place.

Oh, and by the way, I'm so sorry
that she couldn't make it.

Yeah, me too, you know, and then

when you showed up and you
said she was sick,

I was like, "no."

You know, you guys
both created websites.

Before Craig was at the magazine,

he had a website too,
so tell him about yours.

Oh, yeah. I have
a video sharing website.

Oh, that's so cool.

Oh, I just built one for Obama,
because he's a friend.

Brendan Fraser slept
with my ex-girlfriend.

Um, you guys both also play guitar.

Don't you play guitar?

Oh, yeah, that...
That was years ago in school.

Well, I was just self-taught.

Oh, that... that sounds fun.

Because Juilliard was a real grind.

Oh, by the way,
how is your dad feeling?

Oh, he's so much better, thank you.

Whoa, what happened with your dad?

Oh, he had to go
to the emergency room,

but it turns out
it was just heartburn.

When?
Why didn't you tell me?

I told you, it was yesterday.
Didn't I tell you?

No, you didn't tell me.

Oh, it's just that my dad's
been feeling sick too.

Oh.

My mom's going through menopause.

So, we're just kind of
taking it day by day.

Got the seafood tower for two...

And the personal pizza.

Thanks.

- That looks good.
- Yeah.

I never get to order this.

Marcine hates shellfish.

Uh, so does Alex.

Uh, Whitney can I give you crabs?

Too late!

Ha ha ha ha.
Awesome, wow.

An std joke about my girlfriend.

Alex is jealous of Craig?

Are you talking about Craig from work

or Daniel Craig?

It's so weird.
And Alex is never jealous.

I'm the jealous one.

I mean, now I know
how annoying it is to date me.

This must be about something else.

My advice, get ahead of this,

because it will only get worse.

You're going to need to
dig deep and do the hard work.

Ugh...
Sex in the morning?

No, I was talking
about couples therapy.

My friends went to this guy,
saved the relationship.

He was totally on her side.

Good, because
I'm not going to therapy

unless I know I can win.

Hey, partner.
Nice win last night.

Now do you see how
idiotic your theory is

about women playing games?

It can't possibly be
as idiotic as his theory

about how women can't be
lactose intolerant

because they produce breast milk.

What? You can dish it out,
but you can't take it?

And it's more than
a theory, ladypants.

It's precisely why we won.

Because Roxanne may
look like all woman,

but she thinks like a dude.

What?
Excuse me?

I said Jedi, you said knight.

I said rose, you said bowl.

- You're like 90% dude.
- I am not.

You're drinking straight vodka.

You eat ribs like a Wolverine.

I mean, look at how you're sitting.

Okay, in her defense,

she's trying not to squish her balls.

I... sorry.

So, we are practicing
for a game night rematch?

Yes, that was embarrassing.
God.

Roxanne and mark
are more in sync than we are,

and we're the ones getting married.

It's just a game.
Who cares?

Uh, no. It shows that
we're on the same wavelength.

And why wouldn't we be
on the same wavelength

since we're spending the rest
of our lives together?

Okay, ready?

I feel a weird pressure about this.

Good. Ready?
First clue.

Ah.

Relief.

No, it's museum.

How is that museum?
What is, "ah"?

Appreciating the art.

Okay, nobody
appreciates art that way.

I would just nod.
Hmm.

Okay, well if I heard,
"hmm," I'd think "judge,"

so that's not a good clue.

No, it's not.
They're both bad clues.

Louvre is a clue for museum.

Okay, shh.

Peek-a-boo.

- Baby.
- Not even close.

So, the dinner clearly didn't help.

So, my friend Roxanne
told me that, well,

that we should come here
and talk to you

and get to the bottom of this,
so here we are.

Well, you've been talking
with me for 27 minutes,

which tells me volumes more

than the actual words
that you've spoken.

So, Alex. When she
talks to you, do you listen?

Yeah.
Yes.

Well, what was
the last thing she said?

"There's a parking spot."

Alex, what... what do you
feel the problem is?

Uh, Whitney's suddenly
interested in this douchebag.

Mm-hmm, well, what I'm
hearing is that as I dig

through the salad of words
for the crouton of truth

that your emotional needs
are being met

by this fellow, Craig,
instead of by Alex.

In fact, you're, pretty simply,
having an emotional affair.

Emotional.
What a waste of an affair.

I'm going to give you
some exercises to do at home

and when you're
doing these exercises,

they will restore your
intimacy and your communication.

The only thing is, please,
while you're doing them,

um, nothing sexual, because
that would spoil the intimacy.

So, just start and begin
the first exercise, all right?

It's designed to find out

how comfortable you are
with each other's silences.

So I'm just going to ask
you now, please,

to embrace for one minute.

And, uh, no talking.
Whitney.

Embrace.

Good.

Just experience each other.

Now, can you feel yourself
coming together?

Oh, that almost never happens.

So... this is weird.

Okay, so this is supposed
to make you feel vulnerable

so you can receive my intimacy. Ugh.

Why don't you just get in the tub

- so you can receive my intimacy?
- Gross.

We're not allowed to have sex anyway.

It is one of the rules.

No sex, no cell phones,
no TV, no computers.

All right, well, whatever
it is, let's just do it.

And we're going to need rope.

Do you always shed this much?

Okay, so you have to wear

these noise-canceling headphones

to figure out how I'm feeling

based on my body language.

Okay.
You ready?

I can't hear you.

Can we keep these forever?

Ooh, you're feeling angry.

Okay, um, okay, I got it.

I'm glad that the dry cleaner

got a stain out of my favorite shirt.

Uh-oh, somebody pissed you off.

Okay, no, it's... it's
a good thing. It's... I'm glad.

You feel that fashion magazines

set unrealistic
expectations for women.

No, I like it.
I... I love it.

Oh, you're livid.
You're livid. What?

Damn it, I'm happy, I'm happy.

Oh, you're happy.

Lil, do you think I'm like a man?

What?
Where is this coming from?

Mark says I'm like a dude.

Well, you know, it depends.

You are a beautiful female.

Although, you do possess
what some might call,

"a wonderfully
masculine strength," and...

Oh, for God sakes,
Lily, don't overthink it.

Just, do I act like a man?

I like to have you near me
when I'm in crowds.

All right, eye of the tiger.

Let's do this, man.

And go.

Ringmaster.

Hm, okay.
Well, you know what?

I guess that depends, because are you

talking about a guy who's
a master at making rings?

- Or a guy who introduces clowns?
- Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to go with Elijah wood.

No.

- And time.
- Ah!

It was circus.

Okay, are you ready,
focused, connected to me?

I'm on your wavelength, hon.

Go.

- Ding.
- Elevator.

- Yes. Harp.
- Massage.

Oh, my God.
Reluctant.

- Warrior.
- Thunderstorm.

- Candle.
- You get me!

Oh!

They're really good at this, huh?

Babe, come on.
The whole thing here

is you got to trust me.

So, just listen to my voice
as I guide you across

the obstacle course
I made you, all right?

Take five steps straight forward.

All right, either you don't trust me

or you want this to last forever.

All right, take a small step
to your right.

Okay, we have bigger problems.

You don't know
your left from your right.

Okay, I thought you meant your right.

You don't even know where I am.

Whoa, who trained you,
and who is your target?

It's Dr. Grant,

but we're not supposed
to answer the phone.

Which means you shouldn't,
which means you're probably going to.

Hello.

Hello, this is Dr. Grant.

If you're listening
to this automatic message,

then you are not committing
to the exercises

and you need to go back
and start from the beginning.

And remember, no sex.

Why did you have to pick it up?

I do not want to be
washed like a dog again.

Well, then maybe you should
stop jumping out of the tub.

Okay, score recap.

Team Marxanne, 8.

Team wedding bells, 34.
What?

What are you doing?
Why are you throwing this game?

What? I'm not.

I'm just trying to tap into
my feminine side.

If I'm throwing this game,
I'm throwing it like a girl.

Oh, come on.

I didn't say you look like a dude,

you just kind of act like one.

Which is good.
Guys find that very sexy.

- Oh. Oh, really?
- Yeah.

It actually makes you
more attractive, not less.

I meant it as a compliment.

Doesn't that make you feel better?

Kind of.
I mean,

it would mean more
if a man told me that.

What's that supposed to mean?

I just think you have a lot

of feminine qualities, mark.

You know, you journal, you self-tan.

And I'm going to
go out on a limb here...

I'm guessing you wash the gray out.

It's called, "just for men."

Good day, sir.

All right, holes versus poles.

Oh, um, mark.
Not to be all p.C. Here,

but could you not call me a "hole."

Oh, no.
We're the holes.

I do see how that
could be confusing, though.

Okay.

Team meeting.
I need you to bring it.

I cannot and I will not
lose to Roxanne.

You got nothing to worry about.

I memorized all the cards.

What?
You're cheating?

No, I am surviving.

If we lose, I got to hear
all about our connection

and how we don't
understand each other.

Oh, yeah.
That is the worst.

Hey, do you feel like I have
a lot of feminine qualities?

Okay, this is a good one.
No props.

Tell your lover a story that
you've never told them before

to see each other in a new light.

Your turn to go first.

Okay, I got one.

Uh, when I was in high school, uh,

our bus broke down
and we got stuck in...

You hooked up with that bald chick.

She had peach fuzz, but anyway, um...

Okay, um, I got another one.

In my sophomore year in college,

I actually got arrested,
and what happened was...

You stole the Bob
off the Bob's big boy,

and you threw it off the library.

Damn it.

It's okay, it's fine.
Okay, just do another one.

Okay. Oh, I got a good one.

Did I tell you about
the time I met Lou Reed?

You met Lou Reed?

Oh, my God.
That's crazy, what happened?

You know what?
You're mocking me, all right?

What... what are you doing?
This is pointless.

This whole thing is pointless.

I guess I ran out of stories.

Okay, Alex, it's not a big deal.

This doesn't mean anything.

No, this whole thing
is stupid, all right?

Why don't we just
move on to the next one

and cover our naked bodies
in hot fudge.

Okay, okay, no.
Just put your shirt on,

let's just talk about this, okay?

What are you so upset about?

I'm not upset.
I'm just thinking that fudge

will make one thing
about me interesting to you.

Alex.

Look, a long time ago,
when we first started dating,

you said that if we ever got bored

to just put a bullet in
the relationship and move on.

Well, you know what?
I'm worried.

I'm worried that you've gotten bored.

Oh, my God.

I'm not bored.

Really?

Because for the first time
in three years,

I feel like somebody's
more interesting than I am.

I mean, I never made
a website for any president

or anything like that.

I mean, I totally could,
I'm smart enough.

Look, I did say that,
but that was three years ago.

I had never been in
a real relationship before.

I didn't know
what I was talking about.

Three years ago I wore
cut-off Jean shorts

with tights underneath.

Man, never has such an easy girl

been so hard to have sex with.

Look, I'm not jealous
of Craig, all right?

I mean, I wish him well.

Him and his imaginary girlfriend.

Look, from now on, I will share

everything with you, okay?

Even if I'm at work.
Everything.

All right.
Well, that backfired.

You know, we kind of
got through our exercises,

so, uh, want to go
celebrate with some tub sex?

That sounds cold.

And like there would be
a lot of apologizing.

Yeah, you're probably right.

You know what would be even hotter?

I think I do.

Uh, you thinking what I'm thinking?

Boring sex in our boring bed.

Do I get to keep my shirt on?

I'm going to go pee.

So... we all of the exercises,

and we are all good now,
thanks to you, so thank you.

Good.
Well, what I'm hearing,

as I dig through the salad
of words in search of

the crouton of truth,

is that you would benefit

from a series of exercises
from my best-selling book,

refresh your love.

But doc, you already assigned
us the exercises... we did them.

We're, uh... our love is refreshed.

Well, don't worry,
because we can fix that.

No, we don't need fixing.

So, moving on to the second
series of exercises

outlined in my book,
refresh your love...

No, look, Whit,
I think you and the doctor

are having a communication breakdown.

What?

You're right.

And I know exactly
how to deal with this.

Alex, time us.
60-second embrace.

No talking.
Bring it in, come on.

Okay.
Ahh.

Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0