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1
00:00:02,719 --> 00:00:10,358
?
2
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:13,311
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
3
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,230
Is it legit or is it a scam?
4
00:00:15,322 --> 00:00:16,438
Hey, Charlie,
5
00:00:16,526 --> 00:00:18,410
how come you come to a
nice restaurant like this
6
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,033
and you order cereal like you're a kid?
7
00:00:20,122 --> 00:00:22,372
I save a lot of money
eating cereal, man.
8
00:00:22,464 --> 00:00:23,496
It's real good for you.
9
00:00:23,602 --> 00:00:25,185
Sometime, I eat cereal
three times a day.
10
00:00:25,308 --> 00:00:29,143
Man, sugar is just another
method the government use
11
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,957
to keep our children addicted.
12
00:00:32,049 --> 00:00:33,699
You're just confusing cereal with crack.
13
00:00:33,805 --> 00:00:34,888
[LAUGHS]
14
00:00:35,010 --> 00:00:36,810
Nah, nah, it's a sweet crack.
15
00:00:36,900 --> 00:00:38,349
I hate to interrupt, but Ced,
16
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:39,939
I just got an email confirmation.
17
00:00:40,028 --> 00:00:41,578
Your package is arriving here today.
18
00:00:41,702 --> 00:00:44,419
Is that the package of those
DVDs of "The Honeymooners"?
19
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,262
The Blu-ray with the
director's commentary?
20
00:00:47,388 --> 00:00:49,471
Actually, it's individual signed copies
21
00:00:49,563 --> 00:00:51,279
of "Beverly Hills Chihuahua."
22
00:00:51,403 --> 00:00:53,870
[LAUGHTER AND GROANING]
23
00:00:53,963 --> 00:00:56,797
Actually, man, it is something
I did get for you, though.
24
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,806
Oh, wow. What's the occasion?
25
00:00:58,931 --> 00:01:00,730
I just wanted to do something special
26
00:01:00,820 --> 00:01:03,470
for getting us all together
and doing this tour, man.
27
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:04,579
That's all, bro.
28
00:01:04,667 --> 00:01:06,700
- Thanks, Ced.
- Man, you my brother, man.
29
00:01:06,792 --> 00:01:08,658
Oh, man. Which way...
30
00:01:08,749 --> 00:01:10,265
- It goes...
- All right.
31
00:01:10,355 --> 00:01:12,606
- Think they're gonna kiss?
- We're in North Carolina.
32
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:14,146
They better not do that in the bathroom.
33
00:01:14,236 --> 00:01:15,285
Y'all got jokes.
34
00:01:15,373 --> 00:01:16,990
Okay, let's save all
this hilarious banter
35
00:01:17,079 --> 00:01:19,079
for your live TV interview later.
36
00:01:19,169 --> 00:01:21,036
- What interview?
- What live TV interview?
37
00:01:21,144 --> 00:01:22,477
"Hollywood All Access"?
38
00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:25,567
Charlotte's number one
entertainment news show?
39
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,577
I guess I shouldn't
really call it "All Access"
40
00:01:27,701 --> 00:01:29,551
since they don't have
the access to Hollywood,
41
00:01:29,658 --> 00:01:31,491
unless it comes to visit Charlotte.
42
00:01:31,598 --> 00:01:34,099
But anyway, y'all are
doing it at 5:00 today.
43
00:01:34,225 --> 00:01:36,893
This show could really
help us sell out tomorrow.
44
00:01:36,985 --> 00:01:38,267
Enjoy the rest of breakfast,
45
00:01:38,373 --> 00:01:40,873
which I assume you'll
be doing until lunch.
46
00:01:40,966 --> 00:01:42,549
Please be at the studio at 4:00.
47
00:01:42,573 --> 00:01:43,557
Touch�.
48
00:01:43,592 --> 00:01:45,425
- Man.
- WHITE TERRY: Hey, guys.
49
00:01:45,516 --> 00:01:46,648
There he is.
50
00:01:46,771 --> 00:01:48,237
Hey, man. What's up, White Terry?
51
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:49,641
Is there room for me?
52
00:01:49,748 --> 00:01:52,815
Look, you can sit down if you
can name 10 black comedians
53
00:01:52,926 --> 00:01:54,325
that are not sitting at this table.
54
00:01:54,431 --> 00:01:55,513
Uh-oh.
55
00:01:55,636 --> 00:01:58,887
And George is an honorary
black comedian, 4%.
56
00:01:58,982 --> 00:02:00,181
4% of my life matters.
57
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,485
[CHUCKLING]
58
00:02:01,574 --> 00:02:02,873
Um, that's easy.
59
00:02:02,996 --> 00:02:05,496
Tyler Perry. Come on, man.
60
00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:07,005
Madea. "Good afternoont"?
61
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,760
What the hell are
you... That's not real.
62
00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:11,217
They are the same person, man.
63
00:02:11,326 --> 00:02:13,193
Um, Don Cheadle?
64
00:02:13,283 --> 00:02:15,583
Now you're just naming black people.
65
00:02:15,709 --> 00:02:17,542
I'll just sit over here.
66
00:02:17,633 --> 00:02:18,882
You know what?
67
00:02:18,971 --> 00:02:22,139
For that, you're gonna
take care of the tip.
68
00:02:22,233 --> 00:02:23,265
Okay.
69
00:02:23,369 --> 00:02:24,952
Leave a big tip. That's our reputation.
70
00:02:25,076 --> 00:02:26,375
Just write "good afternoont"
71
00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:27,779
right there on top of the ticket.
72
00:02:27,887 --> 00:02:28,886
[THEME SONG]
73
00:02:28,973 --> 00:02:35,522
?
74
00:02:35,651 --> 00:02:39,877
- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com
75
00:02:40,037 --> 00:02:43,490
The Comedy Get Down 1x06
"Unsuitable " Nov 16, 2017
76
00:02:45,483 --> 00:02:46,699
Hey, Mr. Griffin, Mr. Murphy.
77
00:02:46,822 --> 00:02:48,155
I just wanted to let you know
78
00:02:48,243 --> 00:02:50,360
I got the Escalade ready outside.
79
00:02:50,468 --> 00:02:51,884
Charlotte is your oyster.
80
00:02:52,007 --> 00:02:53,706
Good, 'cause I could
[BLEEP] 10 oysters up.
81
00:02:53,814 --> 00:02:54,980
What's your name again? Keith.
82
00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:57,769
- Keith, do you eat cereal?
- Love it.
83
00:02:57,861 --> 00:02:59,727
Stay here and have some
cereal with us, man.
84
00:02:59,835 --> 00:03:02,535
Or have some leftovers.
There's kids starvin' in Africa.
85
00:03:02,630 --> 00:03:06,048
So this "Hollywood All Access"
show," people actually watch it?
86
00:03:06,141 --> 00:03:07,524
Oh, yeah, yeah.
87
00:03:07,613 --> 00:03:10,981
They probably got one of them
hot female hosts that would like
88
00:03:11,076 --> 00:03:12,792
some Hollywood access their self.
89
00:03:12,917 --> 00:03:13,799
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
90
00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,720
I think we should go on on down there
91
00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:18,794
and see which one of
us gonna get the access.
92
00:03:18,905 --> 00:03:20,187
[LAUGHTER]
93
00:03:20,277 --> 00:03:22,494
CHARLIE: I'm gonna get cleaned
up real good for this one.
94
00:03:22,617 --> 00:03:25,201
- We got to represent.
- Haircut, shave.
95
00:03:25,295 --> 00:03:27,828
I don't let nobody come to
my neck with a straight razor.
96
00:03:27,938 --> 00:03:29,270
I seen "The Color Purple."
97
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,944
Don't worry about this, guys.
I'll just consult my Yelp app.
98
00:03:32,035 --> 00:03:33,318
Y'all want a great local joint?
99
00:03:33,407 --> 00:03:35,040
Sam's Barbershop on 3rd.
100
00:03:35,164 --> 00:03:37,498
You mention my name and
they will hook you up.
101
00:03:38,643 --> 00:03:41,177
Actually, why don't I take you, hm?
102
00:03:41,269 --> 00:03:42,435
EDDIE: Let's roll, Keith.
103
00:03:42,524 --> 00:03:43,656
There's also The Cut.
104
00:03:43,744 --> 00:03:45,494
It's got a one $ sign.
105
00:03:45,585 --> 00:03:47,501
Mark P. Gave it four stars,
106
00:03:47,592 --> 00:03:49,542
and he's been a Yelper since 2010,
107
00:03:49,633 --> 00:03:51,049
so you know you can trust him.
108
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:00,785
Seriously?
109
00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:03,841
Hey, Smurfette is way
finer than Betty Boop.
110
00:04:03,934 --> 00:04:05,367
Jessica Rabbit, though.
111
00:04:05,474 --> 00:04:06,540
Oh, you're right. She's finer.
112
00:04:06,645 --> 00:04:07,944
- Yeah, she is.
- [DOOR KNOCKS]
113
00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:08,998
Come in.
114
00:04:09,789 --> 00:04:11,989
Hey, hey. Ced's package arrived.
115
00:04:12,098 --> 00:04:13,547
Ooh, a suit. Nice.
116
00:04:13,637 --> 00:04:14,969
Hey, man. This is Yohji.
117
00:04:15,059 --> 00:04:16,558
This ain't cheap.
118
00:04:17,484 --> 00:04:18,650
Wow, check this out.
119
00:04:18,738 --> 00:04:20,688
"A great man deserves a great suit.
120
00:04:20,796 --> 00:04:24,581
"Can't wait to see you wear
this on 'Hollywood All Access.'
121
00:04:24,677 --> 00:04:27,010
"With love and friendship, Ced."
122
00:04:27,118 --> 00:04:28,484
What?
123
00:04:28,575 --> 00:04:30,891
That's just touching. That's nice.
124
00:04:30,999 --> 00:04:32,064
Mm-mm. I'm not sticking around,
125
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:33,337
watching you get all emotional again.
126
00:04:33,425 --> 00:04:34,557
Hey, in his defense,
127
00:04:34,663 --> 00:04:36,246
everybody cried after
watching "The Notebook."
128
00:04:36,353 --> 00:04:37,802
That's true. I'mma try it on.
129
00:04:37,891 --> 00:04:40,025
Oh, man, Yohji is very expensive.
130
00:04:40,116 --> 00:04:41,766
Steve Harvey don't even shop there,
131
00:04:41,872 --> 00:04:43,405
and he got more shows than you.
132
00:04:43,494 --> 00:04:44,910
He got the radio show.
133
00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:46,250
He got the talk show.
134
00:04:46,339 --> 00:04:47,672
He got the gameshow.
135
00:04:47,761 --> 00:04:50,311
I'm hearing that they're even
gonna do a "CSI: Steve Harvey."
136
00:04:51,441 --> 00:04:53,007
GEORGE: Oh, man, what the...
137
00:04:53,113 --> 00:04:55,013
DL! [SPEAKS SPANISH]
138
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,686
Come and look at this! Uhuh, man.
139
00:04:56,793 --> 00:04:59,326
First the wine. Now you
want me in the bathroom.
140
00:04:59,437 --> 00:05:00,853
What do I look like, a altar boy?
141
00:05:00,974 --> 00:05:02,474
GEORGE: Man, get in here!
142
00:05:02,581 --> 00:05:03,697
Damn.
143
00:05:06,327 --> 00:05:07,143
Crazy.
144
00:05:07,248 --> 00:05:09,047
[BLEEP] damn!
145
00:05:09,171 --> 00:05:10,053
Woo!
146
00:05:10,175 --> 00:05:11,091
[LAUGHS]
147
00:05:11,179 --> 00:05:12,712
Hey, you know what that looks like?
148
00:05:12,818 --> 00:05:15,402
What Liberace would wear if
he were a Mexican dictator.
149
00:05:15,528 --> 00:05:16,777
GEORGE: What the hell is it?
150
00:05:16,866 --> 00:05:18,782
We don't even paint our cars this color!
151
00:05:18,874 --> 00:05:20,757
What is this?
152
00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:22,079
I can't wear that out!
153
00:05:22,185 --> 00:05:23,301
Uh-uh, uh-uh,
you have to.
154
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,856
You know how sensitive Ced is, man.
155
00:05:24,945 --> 00:05:26,144
Remember when you forgot his birthday?
156
00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:27,649
He didn't talk to us for a week.
157
00:05:27,739 --> 00:05:29,939
No tellin' what he'll do
if you don't wear that suit.
158
00:05:30,047 --> 00:05:31,947
It could mess up the
harmony of this tour,
159
00:05:32,054 --> 00:05:34,638
and nobody [BLEEP] up the harmony.
160
00:05:34,765 --> 00:05:37,349
Oh man, come on. Would
you wear that anywhere?
161
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,973
Hell no!
162
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,580
If I dreamt I wore that shit,
163
00:05:40,669 --> 00:05:42,485
I'd wake up and beat
the hell out of myself.
164
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,843
But he didn't give it
to me. He gave it to you.
165
00:05:46,724 --> 00:05:49,976
All right, fine, I'll wear it. Oh, man.
166
00:05:51,241 --> 00:05:52,540
What?
167
00:05:52,663 --> 00:05:54,579
It's just hard being an amazing friend.
168
00:05:56,711 --> 00:06:06,452
?
169
00:06:06,579 --> 00:06:08,079
And he'd be partying back here
170
00:06:08,169 --> 00:06:10,503
with his drummer and six hot chicks,
171
00:06:10,628 --> 00:06:14,213
except he'd be in, like,
women's makeup and a dress.
172
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:16,475
And they'd party while
I drove them around town.
173
00:06:16,565 --> 00:06:19,950
And then he would take off
the makeup and the dress.
174
00:06:20,045 --> 00:06:23,580
And then he'd put his rock star
clothes on and go do his show.
175
00:06:23,676 --> 00:06:26,143
And no one ever knew.
176
00:06:26,234 --> 00:06:28,601
Dude, them rock stars
are crazy mother [BLEEP].
177
00:06:29,663 --> 00:06:30,913
That story was messed up.
178
00:06:31,035 --> 00:06:32,118
Mm-hmm.
179
00:06:32,205 --> 00:06:34,289
Wait, I missed the end.
Can you tell it again?
180
00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:36,246
I couldn't hear 'cause I'm
the driver, for some reason.
181
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,937
Hey, could you just mind your business,
182
00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:42,196
keep your focus on the road,
get us to the barbershop safely?
183
00:06:42,293 --> 00:06:44,777
Hey, White Terry, you want
me to take back the wheel?
184
00:06:44,885 --> 00:06:47,636
Yes, and the name is Jeff.
185
00:06:47,762 --> 00:06:50,179
White Terry, Keith is talking.
186
00:06:52,614 --> 00:06:54,113
Now, Keith, back to you.
187
00:06:54,202 --> 00:06:57,587
Finish telling us about when
you was driving Bobby Brown.
188
00:06:57,682 --> 00:07:00,766
Oh my god, it was crazy.
189
00:07:00,860 --> 00:07:02,726
Now, was this before Whitney or after?
190
00:07:02,817 --> 00:07:05,367
Before, during, and after.
191
00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:06,876
Come on, tell the story! [BLEEP]!
192
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:11,542
- What's up, DL?
- Hey, Ced.
193
00:07:11,649 --> 00:07:13,015
Hey, George.
194
00:07:13,104 --> 00:07:16,355
I just came by to see
if, um, my gift came.
195
00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:19,050
Yeah, it did, Ced. It came, man.
196
00:07:19,159 --> 00:07:22,210
It damn sure did. It
came, it saw, it conquered.
197
00:07:22,304 --> 00:07:24,270
Well played, Cedric. Beautiful.
198
00:07:24,395 --> 00:07:27,396
You know I try, man.
So you love it, right?
199
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,822
I love it. I do.
200
00:07:28,912 --> 00:07:30,778
And you know what, man?
Listen, it means a lot
201
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:32,752
that would you go to
all that trouble for me.
202
00:07:32,842 --> 00:07:35,626
I mean, there was trouble,
don't get me wrong, man.
203
00:07:35,737 --> 00:07:37,737
But, uh, it's gonna be all worth it
204
00:07:37,827 --> 00:07:40,778
to see you just rockin' that on live TV.
205
00:07:40,871 --> 00:07:42,888
Live TV, wearin' it.
206
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:47,515
Yeah, here's, uh... here's
what I'm thinking, okay?
207
00:07:47,647 --> 00:07:52,734
I think that the suit is
too nice for that show.
208
00:07:52,832 --> 00:07:55,249
Too nice? I'm not following.
209
00:07:55,357 --> 00:08:00,127
I mean... I mean, do I... do
I want to waste that suit on...
210
00:08:00,242 --> 00:08:01,908
On Charlotte TV at 5 o'clock?
211
00:08:02,032 --> 00:08:06,367
I mean, that suit is more New
Orleans or Mardi Gras, Europe,
212
00:08:06,464 --> 00:08:08,848
deep India, you know?
213
00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:10,022
Yeah.
214
00:08:10,111 --> 00:08:11,610
Yeah, you know what? Maybe you're right.
215
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:13,483
Ah, pshaw.
216
00:08:13,574 --> 00:08:16,158
Listen, Charlotte
deserves our very best.
217
00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:18,250
And him in that suit? Mwah!
218
00:08:18,341 --> 00:08:19,456
Yes, yes.
219
00:08:19,562 --> 00:08:21,345
You know what? You're right, DL.
220
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:24,103
George is in Charlotte, man.
You gotta kill it in Charlotte.
221
00:08:24,195 --> 00:08:25,411
Yeah, okay.
222
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,484
Well, you know, to be honest, I mean,
223
00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:30,208
I don't wanna make the
other guys look bad.
224
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,184
Those fools can't
rock a suit like I can.
225
00:08:32,309 --> 00:08:34,759
- You mean Eddie and Charlie?
- Obviously.
226
00:08:34,867 --> 00:08:36,600
I mean, don't worry about that, man.
227
00:08:36,707 --> 00:08:38,457
I mean, you know, I'm gonna look nice.
228
00:08:38,547 --> 00:08:40,581
And then DL, of course, you're gonna...
229
00:08:40,671 --> 00:08:42,171
I always look nice.
230
00:08:42,261 --> 00:08:43,644
George, you gotta think about it.
231
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:46,183
You are the reason
why we're all together.
232
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,525
It's you that put this thing on,
233
00:08:48,618 --> 00:08:51,619
and so you should be a cut
above everyone, you know?
234
00:08:51,712 --> 00:08:54,763
That little bit of extra accoutrements
235
00:08:54,890 --> 00:08:56,940
that makes it nicer, you know?
236
00:08:57,065 --> 00:08:58,231
We orbit around you.
237
00:08:58,319 --> 00:09:00,286
You're the disco ball
that we revolve around.
238
00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:02,460
? You make... ? That's you.
239
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,551
That's a great way of putting it.
240
00:09:04,642 --> 00:09:06,843
I love that one. Great analogy.
241
00:09:06,951 --> 00:09:11,170
And, uh, you know, guys, I get
emotional with stuff like this
242
00:09:11,283 --> 00:09:12,699
and I don't mean to, you know?
243
00:09:12,788 --> 00:09:15,622
Emote, emote. Come on, Cupcake.
244
00:09:15,716 --> 00:09:16,765
[SNIFFLES]
245
00:09:16,853 --> 00:09:19,137
But, you know, George, the thing is,
246
00:09:19,228 --> 00:09:21,595
is that this means a
lot to me, you know?
247
00:09:21,704 --> 00:09:23,488
I mean, to have you guys as brothers
248
00:09:23,578 --> 00:09:25,545
and to be out on this tour, you know?
249
00:09:25,668 --> 00:09:27,068
I didn't grow up with brothers.
250
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:30,209
I grew up in a single-parent household.
251
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:33,604
It was my mom and it was my sister.
252
00:09:33,697 --> 00:09:36,415
I mean, I had one cousin, Big Tina.
253
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,075
But, you know, she was a
girl, but she was a boy.
254
00:09:39,185 --> 00:09:41,652
And, you know, I spent one
summer in chamber choir,
255
00:09:41,727 --> 00:09:43,978
but that's not the same, you know?
256
00:09:44,101 --> 00:09:45,835
We had two dogs. We had a girl dog.
257
00:09:45,909 --> 00:09:47,325
We had fish. They were girls.
258
00:09:47,414 --> 00:09:50,748
And, uh, you know, to be able
to have brothers, you know,
259
00:09:50,844 --> 00:09:52,060
to have you guys here...
260
00:09:52,147 --> 00:09:57,067
Especially you, my special
Latino brother, mi hermano.
261
00:09:57,166 --> 00:09:59,033
Mi hermano. That's you, George.
262
00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:01,507
I know what "hermano"
mean. Thanks for your help.
263
00:10:01,633 --> 00:10:03,549
CEDRIC: I can't do it
anymore. Come on, George.
264
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,807
Give me a hug, bruh. Yes, yeah!
265
00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:08,450
You bring it in here too, DL.
266
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,324
Let me squeeze you by your throat.
267
00:10:10,414 --> 00:10:12,881
I'm feeling all the love
I can from right here.
268
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,347
All right.
269
00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:18,236
Well, I guess I'll see you guys later.
270
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,477
You know, with that suit on the set.
271
00:10:20,585 --> 00:10:22,451
Only if you really want to wear it.
272
00:10:22,542 --> 00:10:23,674
You know I do.
273
00:10:23,763 --> 00:10:24,845
I want to. I do, Ced.
274
00:10:24,933 --> 00:10:26,383
- CEDRIC: Of course.
- GEORGE: I do.
275
00:10:26,472 --> 00:10:28,889
- Lovely.
- I do.
276
00:10:30,153 --> 00:10:34,217
- He says he loves it.
- How can he not, man?
277
00:10:40,902 --> 00:10:42,625
Look out.
278
00:10:42,715 --> 00:10:45,299
All right, I'm gonna go talk
to my friend Sam, the owner.
279
00:10:45,391 --> 00:10:48,059
Make sure you two are taken care of.
280
00:10:54,591 --> 00:10:57,175
You know, Keith is really great.
281
00:10:57,268 --> 00:11:00,319
- The best, man.
- Absolutely, absolutely.
282
00:11:00,446 --> 00:11:04,582
But if you think about it, all
he really does is drive a limo.
283
00:11:04,678 --> 00:11:06,962
I mean, I can drive
the shit out of a limo,
284
00:11:07,053 --> 00:11:11,272
but I can also do a lot of other things.
285
00:11:15,082 --> 00:11:16,632
I'm really good at carrying bags.
286
00:11:16,722 --> 00:11:19,039
I mean, duffle bags,
gym bags, grocery bags...
287
00:11:19,147 --> 00:11:21,981
Anything with a handle, or even without.
288
00:11:22,075 --> 00:11:24,358
Yeah, man. Bags we got.
289
00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:26,866
I also know what kind
of food you like to eat.
290
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,742
I'm really good at keeping
the unattractive female fans
291
00:11:29,853 --> 00:11:32,053
away from you so you can...
You know what, White Terry?
292
00:11:32,144 --> 00:11:33,861
Man, you really need
to learn how to chill.
293
00:11:33,951 --> 00:11:35,617
Me? Chill? I'm totally chill.
294
00:11:35,741 --> 00:11:37,040
I'm one of the most chill guys
295
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:38,545
you'll ever meet in your entire life.
296
00:11:38,634 --> 00:11:39,616
I'm a very chill guy.
297
00:11:39,722 --> 00:11:42,706
It's not like it's a competition, man.
298
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:45,437
Good.
299
00:11:45,526 --> 00:11:49,578
But if it was, you'd be White
Terry livin' in a trailer park.
300
00:11:49,674 --> 00:11:51,657
Cool Keith would be in
a penthouse somewhere.
301
00:11:51,766 --> 00:11:53,465
Cool Keith.
302
00:11:53,555 --> 00:11:55,939
His name is Keith. The dude is cool.
303
00:11:56,031 --> 00:11:57,998
You are white. Your name is Terry.
304
00:11:58,105 --> 00:11:59,371
White Terry.
305
00:11:59,493 --> 00:12:01,460
- My name is Jeff.
- I didn't know that.
306
00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:03,001
Yeah, Jeff, Jeffrey.
307
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:05,089
It's a family name. It's a strong name.
308
00:12:05,197 --> 00:12:06,530
Whatever your name is, you know,
309
00:12:06,636 --> 00:12:08,486
a brother's tryin' to get a manicure.
310
00:12:08,576 --> 00:12:12,161
Why don't you get out of the way
and give me some space in here?
311
00:12:12,256 --> 00:12:13,255
WHITE TERRY: Totally, totally.
312
00:12:13,377 --> 00:12:14,793
- It's too tight.
- All right.
313
00:12:15,719 --> 00:12:17,636
Cool Keith?
314
00:12:17,726 --> 00:12:19,426
[BLEEP] not very cool if you ask me.
315
00:12:19,532 --> 00:12:21,282
Sir? Seats are for customers only.
316
00:12:21,406 --> 00:12:22,738
Of course. I am very sorry.
317
00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:23,960
Jesus!
318
00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:32,306
?
319
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:34,246
The white boy knew
where to take us, man.
320
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,320
DL: Woo-wee!
321
00:12:36,427 --> 00:12:38,928
You cats look sharp. What
the hell happened to y'all?
322
00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:41,471
Keith took us to this barbershop.
323
00:12:41,563 --> 00:12:42,695
Got us dusted off.
324
00:12:42,817 --> 00:12:44,016
DL: I see.
325
00:12:44,123 --> 00:12:45,655
That's pretty cool of Keith.
326
00:12:45,745 --> 00:12:47,995
Matter of fact, Ced, I gave
him the nickname Cool Keith.
327
00:12:48,086 --> 00:12:49,085
[LAUGHTER]
328
00:12:49,174 --> 00:12:51,307
It's got a nice ring to it. I like it.
329
00:12:51,399 --> 00:12:53,516
I think we ought have the boy full time.
330
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,407
Okay, okay, let's just pump the brakes.
331
00:12:56,535 --> 00:12:58,067
He found one barbershop.
332
00:12:58,173 --> 00:13:01,073
That place I found, The
Cut, seemed pretty dope too.
333
00:13:01,184 --> 00:13:03,083
Don't say dope. You don't say dope.
334
00:13:03,192 --> 00:13:05,358
Man, if Cool Keith wanna
go on the road with us,
335
00:13:05,450 --> 00:13:07,149
I think we'd be lucky to have him to.
336
00:13:07,239 --> 00:13:08,989
Man, he got some great stories, y'all.
337
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,996
Hey, hey! All right, are we ready?
338
00:13:11,087 --> 00:13:12,336
You're on in a few.
339
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,174
- All right, all right.
- Wait, where's George?
340
00:13:14,264 --> 00:13:18,099
I am sure that he is working
on getting that new suit right.
341
00:13:18,195 --> 00:13:20,446
With a suit like that, you
gotta treat that like a woman,
342
00:13:20,537 --> 00:13:21,786
you know what I mean?
343
00:13:21,876 --> 00:13:25,177
You gotta step into it
and you let that suit know.
344
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,673
You gotta go in slow and take your time.
345
00:13:28,784 --> 00:13:31,618
And you gotta let it
know that you're ready,
346
00:13:31,712 --> 00:13:33,962
and that nobody's gonna get hurt.
347
00:13:34,053 --> 00:13:35,753
So you give it a safe word.
348
00:13:35,843 --> 00:13:38,627
I don't know about that,
but now I'm horny as hell.
349
00:13:38,737 --> 00:13:40,052
That's what's important about suits.
350
00:13:40,159 --> 00:13:41,241
I gotta be honest, Ced.
351
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:43,113
That whole speech sounded
a little serial killer-y.
352
00:13:43,203 --> 00:13:44,369
Yeah, you know what?
353
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,874
My analogies have been
off this week a little bit.
354
00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:48,800
MALE MANAGER: All right,
three minutes, then we're on.
355
00:13:48,890 --> 00:13:50,640
Three minutes!
356
00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:55,073
I'm, uh, sorry I'm late.
357
00:13:55,163 --> 00:13:57,830
What the [BLEEP] is that, George?
358
00:13:57,922 --> 00:14:00,006
- Man, you look fly.
- Don't say fly, but thanks.
359
00:14:00,097 --> 00:14:01,296
You guys are just jealous
360
00:14:01,403 --> 00:14:03,603
'cause Ced didn't get you
guys one of these suits.
361
00:14:03,694 --> 00:14:05,194
You love it, man?
362
00:14:05,283 --> 00:14:07,750
Aw, come on, man. I mean,
what's not to love, huh?
363
00:14:07,843 --> 00:14:09,542
You look good. I'm telling you.
364
00:14:09,632 --> 00:14:10,997
I feel good.
365
00:14:11,105 --> 00:14:15,107
Hey, guys, we're gonna go
live in a few min... oh!
366
00:14:15,203 --> 00:14:16,686
Nice suit, right? You know what?
367
00:14:16,791 --> 00:14:19,459
This is real yak from
a yak named Gerald.
368
00:14:19,551 --> 00:14:20,800
[LAUGHTER]
369
00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:22,639
It's interesting, George.
370
00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:23,979
Hey, man.
371
00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:26,935
So, uh, yeah, man,
you look good, George.
372
00:14:27,028 --> 00:14:28,077
You're killin' it.
373
00:14:28,199 --> 00:14:29,532
You look like a Mexican drumline.
374
00:14:29,621 --> 00:14:31,037
[LAUGHTER]
375
00:14:31,127 --> 00:14:33,744
You'd need to take that suit
to the cleaners and a car wash.
376
00:14:33,854 --> 00:14:35,020
[LAUGHTER]
377
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:37,191
Hey, George, don't let
'em get to you, man.
378
00:14:37,282 --> 00:14:39,649
They just mad that I didn't
get them a prank suit...
379
00:14:39,742 --> 00:14:42,910
That you're the only one
that got a prank suit from me.
380
00:14:43,003 --> 00:14:44,002
What?
381
00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:45,289
[LAUGHTER]
382
00:14:45,396 --> 00:14:48,296
I didn't think you was
gonna wear the damn thing.
383
00:14:48,407 --> 00:14:49,773
I'm sorry. Let me get this straight.
384
00:14:49,861 --> 00:14:52,161
You spent 8 grand on a prank suit?
385
00:14:52,287 --> 00:14:53,336
You get it.
386
00:14:53,458 --> 00:14:55,291
You see what I'm sayin'?
It makes sense, right?
387
00:14:55,382 --> 00:14:57,298
You should've seen his
face when he tried this...
388
00:14:57,389 --> 00:14:59,772
And actually, you can,
'cause I took pictures.
389
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:02,866
CEDRIC: Aw, that's
nice. That's killing it.
390
00:15:02,993 --> 00:15:04,459
You knew this was a joke?
391
00:15:04,548 --> 00:15:06,882
And you didn't? Look at it, man.
392
00:15:07,008 --> 00:15:09,341
Come on, now. Come on, man.
393
00:15:09,433 --> 00:15:12,216
So what's all that talk about
brotherhood and all that?
394
00:15:12,327 --> 00:15:13,693
That's just bullshit?
395
00:15:13,781 --> 00:15:15,031
That's what brothers do, George.
396
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,703
That's what we do with each other, man.
397
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:18,509
Ain't no biggie, you
know what I'm sayin'?
398
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,433
You get me, I get
you. That's what we do.
399
00:15:20,557 --> 00:15:22,190
I'd never do anything to you like that.
400
00:15:22,279 --> 00:15:23,479
I'll just tell you right now.
401
00:15:23,567 --> 00:15:25,751
I know you just didn't let
that come out your mouth.
402
00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:29,912
Sending a whole bouquet of
flowers with a little teddy bear
403
00:15:30,008 --> 00:15:31,958
to Andy Dick from me?
404
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:36,017
And the dude, like, still
texts me late night, "U up?"
405
00:15:36,114 --> 00:15:37,813
Eew.
406
00:15:37,919 --> 00:15:39,318
All right, all right.
407
00:15:39,424 --> 00:15:41,991
That was a dickish move,
but that doesn't equal this.
408
00:15:42,101 --> 00:15:44,135
Andy Dick was a half dick.
409
00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:46,810
No, no, no. Andy Dick
was a full dick move.
410
00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:49,285
If you're gonna do a full
dick, I'm doing a full dick.
411
00:15:49,377 --> 00:15:50,710
This is half. This is half.
412
00:15:50,832 --> 00:15:52,131
Okay, great news.
413
00:15:52,221 --> 00:15:55,305
You can continue discussing
who's giving who a fuller dick
414
00:15:55,399 --> 00:15:57,233
on the show because it's time right now.
415
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:58,656
Oh, that's right, man. [BLEEP] that.
416
00:15:58,745 --> 00:15:59,944
I'm gonna take this shit off.
417
00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:01,166
Sit your ass down.
418
00:16:01,254 --> 00:16:04,238
MANAGER: Just fade. In three, two...
419
00:16:04,348 --> 00:16:07,299
Live at 5:00, it's
"Hollywood All Access"
420
00:16:07,392 --> 00:16:09,226
from beautiful downtown Charlotte,
421
00:16:09,317 --> 00:16:12,535
where The Comedy Get Down tour
is making a long-awaited stop.
422
00:16:13,549 --> 00:16:14,631
[CHUCKLES]
423
00:16:17,145 --> 00:16:19,011
CEDRIC: Yeah, man, you gotta do it.
424
00:16:19,102 --> 00:16:20,401
Yeah, how 'bout it. Cool Keith.
425
00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:22,857
Get a little freshening up there, buddy.
426
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:25,032
Yeah, I'll take a little bit in there.
427
00:16:25,124 --> 00:16:27,174
Very cool, Keith. Very cool.
428
00:16:27,299 --> 00:16:28,848
Hey, guys, this is awesome.
429
00:16:28,972 --> 00:16:30,521
Ticket sales are already growing.
430
00:16:30,644 --> 00:16:32,177
George, that suit was a hit.
431
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:33,482
[LAUGHS]
432
00:16:33,571 --> 00:16:35,537
Who knew the people of
Charlotte loved a good prank?
433
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,912
Hey, Ceddie Bear, this isn't over, man.
434
00:16:38,004 --> 00:16:39,703
When you least expect it, expect it.
435
00:16:39,811 --> 00:16:41,010
[LAUGHTER]
436
00:16:41,098 --> 00:16:42,481
George, that was a payback.
437
00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:45,322
You can't pay a payback
with another payback.
438
00:16:45,415 --> 00:16:46,364
It's done, man.
439
00:16:46,451 --> 00:16:47,867
Not where he come from, bro.
440
00:16:47,956 --> 00:16:49,673
- Hey, Cool Keith?
- Yeah?
441
00:16:49,763 --> 00:16:51,746
Why don't you run over
there and do a cannonball
442
00:16:51,855 --> 00:16:53,388
right next to White Terry?
443
00:16:53,477 --> 00:16:55,727
[LAUGHTER]
444
00:16:55,835 --> 00:16:58,786
Nah, nah, I'm cool being
up here with you guys.
445
00:16:58,913 --> 00:17:00,112
Come on!
446
00:17:00,217 --> 00:17:02,418
ALL: [CHANTING] Cool Keith! Cool Keith!
447
00:17:02,509 --> 00:17:05,226
All right. All right! Here I go!
448
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:08,659
That's what I love about white boys.
449
00:17:08,782 --> 00:17:10,782
You chant their name,
they do anything you want.
450
00:17:10,873 --> 00:17:12,789
[LAUGHTER]
451
00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:14,964
Here I go. Y'all ready?
452
00:17:15,054 --> 00:17:16,337
Make it count!
453
00:17:16,443 --> 00:17:17,726
Yeah!
454
00:17:17,815 --> 00:17:19,482
What the [BLEEP]? What
the mother [BLEEP]?
455
00:17:21,679 --> 00:17:28,350
?
456
00:17:28,454 --> 00:17:29,503
Cannonball!
457
00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:31,591
- Hey, man!
- What the [BLEEP]?
458
00:17:31,698 --> 00:17:33,515
Whoa, dawg.
459
00:17:34,475 --> 00:17:35,524
What's...
460
00:17:35,646 --> 00:17:36,995
What is that?
461
00:17:37,102 --> 00:17:38,851
What is it? It's the Confederate flag.
462
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,274
Hey!
463
00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:41,829
Oh, White Terry.
464
00:17:41,919 --> 00:17:43,585
NINA: Keith, what the [BLEEP]?
465
00:17:43,676 --> 00:17:45,142
Get the [BLEEP] out of the water.
466
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,315
He went from Cool Keith
to Ku Klux Klan Keith.
467
00:17:47,406 --> 00:17:49,072
No, no, no. It's not what you think.
468
00:17:49,195 --> 00:17:52,280
You tryin' to tell us
our eyes don't work?
469
00:17:52,374 --> 00:17:54,457
Ain't that a mother
[BLEEP] Confederate flag
470
00:17:54,548 --> 00:17:56,298
on your mother [BLEEP] redneck back?
471
00:17:56,388 --> 00:17:58,521
Represent hangin'
[BLEEP] and shit, bitch!
472
00:17:58,613 --> 00:18:01,647
It's a symbol of racism, you
ignorant [BLEEP] piece of shit.
473
00:18:01,741 --> 00:18:03,791
If I just didn't run
out of cocoa butter,
474
00:18:03,915 --> 00:18:05,882
I'd jump in that damn water now, fool.
475
00:18:05,973 --> 00:18:08,640
Maybe we oughta call you Racist Keith.
476
00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:10,984
Oh, no, no, I'm not racist.
477
00:18:11,108 --> 00:18:14,193
I was a teenager. I was
drunk with my stepdad.
478
00:18:14,286 --> 00:18:17,320
He's dead now, so
that's good, all right?
479
00:18:17,432 --> 00:18:19,498
I didn't know what I was doin'.
480
00:18:19,606 --> 00:18:21,139
You gotta believe me. I'm not racist.
481
00:18:21,228 --> 00:18:22,694
I'm just from the South.
482
00:18:22,818 --> 00:18:23,850
Ugh, god.
483
00:18:23,955 --> 00:18:25,571
All right? It means nothin' to me!
484
00:18:25,661 --> 00:18:27,694
I'm ashamed of it.
485
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:28,885
Prove it.
486
00:18:33,339 --> 00:18:35,473
You are a disgrace to white people.
487
00:18:35,580 --> 00:18:36,779
Ridiculous tattoo.
488
00:18:36,885 --> 00:18:38,902
And that's comin' straight
from the mouth of a man
489
00:18:39,009 --> 00:18:42,410
with a ridiculous Chinese
tattoo on his ankle.
490
00:18:42,523 --> 00:18:43,688
It means love or life.
491
00:18:43,777 --> 00:18:45,193
My sister and I got them together.
492
00:18:45,282 --> 00:18:46,648
It's special.
493
00:18:46,738 --> 00:18:49,288
So this... this cover-up tattoo
makes it all good again, right?
494
00:18:49,397 --> 00:18:52,949
I mean, a lion isn't offensive, is it?
495
00:18:53,061 --> 00:18:56,179
Nah. I [BLEEP] like lions.
496
00:18:56,306 --> 00:18:59,774
Due to affirmative action, I
don't know if we can fit you.
497
00:18:59,868 --> 00:19:01,418
We've already got our quota covered.
498
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,657
But I will call you when
we need another driver.
499
00:19:03,765 --> 00:19:05,765
That is a nice tattoo
you got there, bruh.
500
00:19:05,857 --> 00:19:07,974
That's real nice, I'm tellin' you.
501
00:19:09,068 --> 00:19:10,568
Honestly, the lion tattoo?
502
00:19:10,658 --> 00:19:13,158
So good. So good.
503
00:19:15,425 --> 00:19:17,191
King of the jungle. [GRUNTS]
504
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,729
Hey, are you ready for this next city?
505
00:19:22,835 --> 00:19:25,336
Oh!
506
00:19:25,427 --> 00:19:28,512
CEDRIC: Superfly T! Oh!
507
00:19:28,606 --> 00:19:29,722
Come on.
508
00:19:30,864 --> 00:19:32,314
Lookin' real fly.
509
00:19:32,403 --> 00:19:34,820
You look like a Mexican clown.
510
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:37,746
[LAUGHTER]
511
00:19:37,839 --> 00:19:41,191
I love being part of the family, guys.
512
00:19:41,268 --> 00:19:43,102
Well, you know, we... oh! Oh, okay.
513
00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:45,909
Let go of me before I
put you up for adoption.
514
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:47,336
[CHUCKLING]
515
00:19:47,457 --> 00:19:48,857
You know what, White Terry?
516
00:19:48,964 --> 00:19:51,348
I apologize. You were right, man.
517
00:19:51,472 --> 00:19:53,305
You're real good with them duffle bags.
518
00:19:53,396 --> 00:19:54,812
Thank you.
519
00:19:54,918 --> 00:19:56,201
You've got glitter all over you.
520
00:19:56,323 --> 00:19:58,891
Noriega called. He wants his suit back.
521
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,100
I don't know what that
means, but it sounds good.
522
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:05,700
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