Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,307 --> 00:00:06,753
There's a moment
I've noticed in the OR...
2
00:00:08,412 --> 00:00:10,190
...especially when a patient
is going south.
3
00:00:13,584 --> 00:00:16,696
You're working so hard,
you lose yourself.
4
00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:21,501
All of your problems.
5
00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:23,737
Your relationships.
6
00:00:25,829 --> 00:00:27,841
Career goals.
7
00:00:28,933 --> 00:00:30,043
Your fears.
8
00:00:32,703 --> 00:00:35,582
They all just fade away.
9
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,625
It's not even you and your patient.
10
00:00:48,118 --> 00:00:49,963
It's you and yourself.
11
00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,008
Your hands.
12
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,336
Your skill.
13
00:01:01,532 --> 00:01:04,778
You might call it muscle memory...
14
00:01:04,802 --> 00:01:06,046
or being in the zone.
15
00:01:10,608 --> 00:01:12,514
But whatever you call it,
16
00:01:13,243 --> 00:01:14,454
it's rare...
17
00:01:15,779 --> 00:01:18,224
...and you never want it to end.
18
00:01:19,717 --> 00:01:27,082
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
19
00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:35,342
- Hey.
- Hey.
20
00:01:35,366 --> 00:01:36,610
Are the, uh... Are the kids okay?
21
00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:37,744
Yeah, they're great.
22
00:01:37,768 --> 00:01:39,079
It took a little longer
to get through the park
23
00:01:39,103 --> 00:01:42,315
'cause of the protests,
but Mom had French toast ready.
24
00:01:42,339 --> 00:01:44,463
How was, uh, therapy?
25
00:01:45,242 --> 00:01:46,720
- Virtual.
- Yeah.
26
00:01:46,744 --> 00:01:47,821
Is that why you're out here?
27
00:01:47,845 --> 00:01:48,888
Making sure that I did it?
28
00:01:48,912 --> 00:01:50,190
No. I'm here to make sure
29
00:01:50,214 --> 00:01:52,492
that you're done, 'cause
I have something to show you.
30
00:01:53,717 --> 00:01:54,731
Come on.
31
00:01:57,388 --> 00:01:58,865
- Hey.
- Hey.
32
00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:00,567
Didn't your shift end a while ago?
33
00:02:00,591 --> 00:02:02,502
Yeah, I went to check on Mer.
34
00:02:02,526 --> 00:02:03,870
Still no change.
35
00:02:03,894 --> 00:02:04,938
She'll get better.
36
00:02:04,962 --> 00:02:06,527
Just like Jennilyn did.
37
00:02:07,631 --> 00:02:08,908
You didn't even know Jennilyn.
38
00:02:08,932 --> 00:02:10,697
She's my favorite ICU nurse.
39
00:02:11,368 --> 00:02:13,046
It might be my first official day here,
40
00:02:13,070 --> 00:02:15,482
but she and I... We go way back.
41
00:02:15,506 --> 00:02:17,817
I'm just glad I didn't miss
42
00:02:17,841 --> 00:02:19,886
her big post-COVID sendoff.
43
00:02:19,910 --> 00:02:20,987
She is one of us.
44
00:02:21,011 --> 00:02:22,255
Here she comes!
45
00:02:22,279 --> 00:02:25,258
Ladies and gentlemen,
Jennilyn's going home!
46
00:02:25,282 --> 00:02:27,193
Whoo!
47
00:02:27,217 --> 00:02:29,829
- Whoo!
- Alright!
48
00:02:29,853 --> 00:02:30,897
Whoo!
49
00:02:34,625 --> 00:02:35,802
Hey, excuse me.
50
00:02:35,826 --> 00:02:36,770
Hey, did we miss it?
51
00:02:36,794 --> 00:02:37,804
No, you're just in time.
52
00:02:37,828 --> 00:02:39,439
Ah.
53
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,207
Six weeks in the hospital.
54
00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:43,977
Our tenth official discharge this week.
55
00:02:44,001 --> 00:02:45,912
Ah, I remember the day I hired her.
56
00:02:45,936 --> 00:02:48,402
I will never get sick of this.
57
00:02:51,074 --> 00:02:52,218
You okay?
58
00:02:54,278 --> 00:02:55,883
That should be Meredith.
59
00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:09,836
I hate ER days.
60
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:11,604
Everything's so urgent.
61
00:03:11,628 --> 00:03:13,802
What are we watching tonight?
62
00:03:14,503 --> 00:03:16,870
Whatever you want. I'll be with Nico.
63
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,712
Movie nights are sacred, Levi.
64
00:03:18,736 --> 00:03:20,447
Movie nights are new
65
00:03:20,471 --> 00:03:22,315
since your sex friend disappeared.
66
00:03:22,339 --> 00:03:23,717
Don't deprive me of mine.
67
00:03:23,741 --> 00:03:25,685
I have to talk to Bailey about OB today,
68
00:03:25,709 --> 00:03:27,821
and I know that Webber told me
everything I need to say,
69
00:03:27,845 --> 00:03:29,856
but still... Bailey.
70
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,825
You have to talk to Bailey every day.
71
00:03:31,849 --> 00:03:33,626
I'll cancel my plans
when you actually do it.
72
00:03:33,650 --> 00:03:35,628
Hey. Uh, you forgot this.
73
00:03:35,652 --> 00:03:37,754
Oh, well, uh, could've just
gotten it later.
74
00:03:37,778 --> 00:03:39,956
Oh, it was kind of in the way.
75
00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:42,325
Well, it wouldn't be if you
gave me a drawer or something.
76
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:47,898
Is the sex still good?
77
00:03:47,922 --> 00:03:49,699
It's amazing.
78
00:03:49,723 --> 00:03:51,535
See how supportive I was of you
just now?
79
00:03:51,559 --> 00:03:53,191
Bye!
80
00:03:54,260 --> 00:03:56,740
Okay, Felix, and how's
your range of motion been?
81
00:03:56,764 --> 00:03:58,041
It's still stiff when I throw.
82
00:03:58,065 --> 00:03:59,676
I thought I'd be back to pitch
this fall.
83
00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:01,011
Hey. Teddy hasn't returned my calls.
84
00:04:01,035 --> 00:04:02,512
Have you talked to anyone
from the hospital?
85
00:04:02,536 --> 00:04:03,680
'Cause I...
86
00:04:03,704 --> 00:04:05,515
Sorry. It's just,
I had a dream about Mer.
87
00:04:05,539 --> 00:04:07,484
I'm going.
88
00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:08,752
Sorry, Felix.
89
00:04:08,776 --> 00:04:10,687
Um, you know, it's still early days,
90
00:04:10,711 --> 00:04:12,722
you're only four months post surgery,
91
00:04:12,746 --> 00:04:14,891
and it was a decent-sized tear.
92
00:04:14,915 --> 00:04:16,960
This is the last season
to get scouted by a D-1 school.
93
00:04:16,984 --> 00:04:18,395
Huh.
94
00:04:18,419 --> 00:04:19,930
Why are you still here?
95
00:04:19,954 --> 00:04:21,828
Right. I'm gone.
96
00:04:22,256 --> 00:04:25,235
Uh... yeah, Felix, it's gonna
take a little bit more patience.
97
00:04:25,259 --> 00:04:26,136
It's... It's gonna be...
98
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,070
I'm so sorry.
99
00:04:27,094 --> 00:04:28,138
Felix, is it?
100
00:04:28,162 --> 00:04:29,706
Um, a-are you right-handed?
101
00:04:29,730 --> 00:04:31,505
- Yeah.
- Amelia.
102
00:04:32,066 --> 00:04:34,444
I know this is weird.
I'm... I'm a surgeon, too,
103
00:04:34,468 --> 00:04:37,314
and I just, uh, wanted
to check one thing with you.
104
00:04:37,338 --> 00:04:39,816
H-Have you noticed that your left arm
105
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,685
feels stronger
than your right arm recently?
106
00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:43,286
I guess so. Kinda?
107
00:04:43,310 --> 00:04:45,060
- Why?
- What the hell?
108
00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:47,857
If this is a neurological issue,
109
00:04:47,881 --> 00:04:49,326
it could end more than just his career
110
00:04:49,350 --> 00:04:50,927
if it goes untreated, so I'm...
111
00:04:50,951 --> 00:04:54,297
Hey. I just want to to over a
couple maneuvers with you, okay?
112
00:04:54,321 --> 00:04:55,599
Okay.
113
00:04:55,623 --> 00:04:57,534
Meredith's vitals
have been stable for days.
114
00:04:57,558 --> 00:05:00,637
Her X-rays have shown
a remarkable improvement,
115
00:05:00,661 --> 00:05:03,707
and her oxygen requirements
have gone down.
116
00:05:03,731 --> 00:05:05,308
Which is why she should be awake
117
00:05:05,332 --> 00:05:07,644
for more than two minutes at a time.
118
00:05:08,902 --> 00:05:10,413
Why isn't she?
119
00:05:10,437 --> 00:05:12,003
What is it?
120
00:05:12,373 --> 00:05:15,051
Her labs this morning showed
elevated liver enzymes.
121
00:05:15,075 --> 00:05:17,854
It might just be a side
effect from the medications,
122
00:05:17,878 --> 00:05:20,490
but we do want to order some new tests.
123
00:05:20,514 --> 00:05:23,393
And we'd also like to get CTs,
both chest and abdomen.
124
00:05:23,417 --> 00:05:25,228
It might seem extensive, but...
125
00:05:25,252 --> 00:05:26,830
Well, let's do it.
126
00:05:26,854 --> 00:05:30,467
We're seeing more and more
patients in the same position.
127
00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:32,435
It seems like they're finally
out of the woods,
128
00:05:32,459 --> 00:05:34,771
and then some new problem arises
129
00:05:34,795 --> 00:05:36,361
and they just...
130
00:05:37,197 --> 00:05:38,808
they just crash.
131
00:05:43,237 --> 00:05:45,448
We can't let this happen to Meredith.
132
00:05:54,148 --> 00:05:55,964
Were you in pain?
133
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:57,727
You know, the worst part was knowing
134
00:05:57,751 --> 00:05:58,884
they were getting it wrong.
135
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:02,304
I didn't want to leave you,
136
00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:05,290
but I knew, you know,
at a certain point...
137
00:06:08,728 --> 00:06:10,774
I came to the hospital.
138
00:06:10,798 --> 00:06:12,230
I know.
139
00:06:12,866 --> 00:06:14,344
You could hear?
140
00:06:17,838 --> 00:06:19,182
Not through my ears.
141
00:06:20,874 --> 00:06:22,952
Dying is exhausting.
142
00:06:24,445 --> 00:06:26,953
You know that point as a surgeon...
143
00:06:27,347 --> 00:06:29,459
you've done everything for your patient.
144
00:06:29,483 --> 00:06:32,696
I could try and will them to fight,
145
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,230
will them to live,
146
00:06:34,254 --> 00:06:37,456
but I never understood
the level of exhaustion.
147
00:06:39,392 --> 00:06:41,384
There comes a point
148
00:06:42,162 --> 00:06:47,110
where the desire to rest
overrides the desire to live.
149
00:06:49,336 --> 00:06:50,936
You got that.
150
00:06:51,538 --> 00:06:53,772
You gave me permission to go.
151
00:06:54,475 --> 00:06:55,885
You told me it was okay.
152
00:06:58,011 --> 00:06:59,569
You got me.
153
00:07:00,114 --> 00:07:04,594
You gave me everything I needed
until my last breath.
154
00:07:17,768 --> 00:07:20,598
Do you need more time to think about it?
155
00:07:20,622 --> 00:07:21,883
No.
156
00:07:22,857 --> 00:07:24,635
Okay.
157
00:07:24,659 --> 00:07:27,171
And your answer is...
158
00:07:27,195 --> 00:07:29,015
I just told you. No.
159
00:07:29,631 --> 00:07:30,975
Bailey...
160
00:07:30,999 --> 00:07:33,210
I didn't come to this decision lightly,
161
00:07:33,234 --> 00:07:34,878
and without your recommendation,
162
00:07:34,902 --> 00:07:38,349
I may have to redo
my entire intern year.
163
00:07:38,373 --> 00:07:40,017
Only if you were changing specialities,
164
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,518
which you are not doing.
165
00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:43,053
That is not your decision to make.
166
00:07:43,077 --> 00:07:45,055
It's not. No. It's yours,
167
00:07:45,079 --> 00:07:47,491
and you made it
when you signed a contract
168
00:07:47,515 --> 00:07:49,093
as a general surgery attending.
169
00:07:49,117 --> 00:07:51,028
It's got a few more years on it,
last time I checked.
170
00:07:51,052 --> 00:07:52,563
Bailey, you can't...
171
00:07:52,587 --> 00:07:54,365
I-I need this.
172
00:07:54,389 --> 00:07:57,234
And I need surgeons, Wilson.
173
00:07:57,258 --> 00:08:00,638
I'm losing them
to, uh, sickness, exhaustion,
174
00:08:00,662 --> 00:08:02,973
hell, murder, or in Avery's case,
175
00:08:02,997 --> 00:08:05,209
just suddenly taking a leave of absence.
176
00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:06,910
Y-You need to think about the hospital.
177
00:08:06,934 --> 00:08:09,013
I can't afford to lose you right now,
178
00:08:09,037 --> 00:08:11,515
especially when Meredith...
179
00:08:15,877 --> 00:08:19,456
Look, we can, um, revisit this topic
180
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,592
after this thing is over,
181
00:08:21,616 --> 00:08:24,216
but for right now, my answer is no.
182
00:08:27,722 --> 00:08:29,433
Okay. Felix is headed in.
183
00:08:29,457 --> 00:08:31,201
Mm. Great.
184
00:08:31,225 --> 00:08:34,004
Uh... Is he set up for his MRI
in case he beats us there?
185
00:08:34,028 --> 00:08:35,706
Yes. You know, I would have caught
186
00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:37,574
- that right-sided deficit.
- Yeah, I know you would have.
187
00:08:37,598 --> 00:08:39,076
We had just started.
I was focused on the shoulder.
188
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:40,210
Yeah, I know you were.
189
00:08:40,234 --> 00:08:41,612
Not to mention
I kept getting distracted.
190
00:08:41,636 --> 00:08:42,913
All my fault. I got it.
191
00:08:42,937 --> 00:08:44,048
I'm ready.
192
00:08:44,072 --> 00:08:45,149
No, we... We can't leave.
193
00:08:45,173 --> 00:08:46,183
Maggie's not here yet.
194
00:08:46,207 --> 00:08:47,518
Oh, well, that means you can't,
195
00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:48,986
but I can, and I should.
196
00:08:49,010 --> 00:08:50,754
Or, you know, I could call Koracick
197
00:08:50,778 --> 00:08:52,022
and you could stay here.
198
00:08:52,046 --> 00:08:53,257
Well, this was my find.
199
00:08:53,281 --> 00:08:55,159
Oh, I'm sorry. You wouldn't
want somebody waltzing in
200
00:08:55,183 --> 00:08:56,627
- and stealing your patient?
- W...
201
00:08:56,651 --> 00:08:57,695
Please don't take this from me.
202
00:08:57,719 --> 00:08:59,496
I have not operated in over a month.
203
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,031
Oh, and this sudden need
to operate has nothing to do
204
00:09:01,055 --> 00:09:02,766
with your sister
still being unconscious?
205
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,301
Nope.
206
00:09:04,325 --> 00:09:05,369
I just really miss cutting.
207
00:09:05,393 --> 00:09:06,437
Got it.
208
00:09:06,461 --> 00:09:08,472
- Okay.
- I-I'm still coming.
209
00:09:08,496 --> 00:09:09,840
Hey. Great to see you, Maggie.
210
00:09:09,864 --> 00:09:10,708
Thanks for all the help.
211
00:09:10,732 --> 00:09:12,765
Um, everybody's eaten.
212
00:09:13,633 --> 00:09:15,468
Hi?
213
00:09:18,705 --> 00:09:21,485
I take it this is a new hobby?
214
00:09:21,509 --> 00:09:23,120
Should have started with the plow stop,
215
00:09:23,144 --> 00:09:25,289
but my kids wanted
to learn the moonwalk.
216
00:09:26,447 --> 00:09:28,192
I was killing it
until I hit that railing.
217
00:09:28,216 --> 00:09:29,626
My mom would never do that.
218
00:09:29,650 --> 00:09:31,962
- She's a total worry...
- Dr. Schmitt, order tib/fib X-rays
219
00:09:31,986 --> 00:09:33,497
and page me when they're done, please.
220
00:09:33,521 --> 00:09:36,734
Okay, Erika, I'd like to
do an abdominal ultrasound.
221
00:09:36,758 --> 00:09:38,001
Oh. Nice.
222
00:09:38,025 --> 00:09:40,237
I've lost 50 pounds in Q-tine.
223
00:09:40,261 --> 00:09:42,005
Check out these abs.
224
00:09:42,029 --> 00:09:43,006
Damn.
225
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:44,808
That railing ate me alive.
226
00:09:44,832 --> 00:09:46,477
- Yep.
- Oh.
227
00:09:46,501 --> 00:09:48,367
Okay, let me know if this hurts at all.
228
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:52,149
50 pounds, huh?
229
00:09:52,173 --> 00:09:56,353
Tech lawyer. Boatloads of money,
but... tech lawyer.
230
00:09:56,377 --> 00:09:59,089
Sedentary job, sedentary life.
231
00:09:59,113 --> 00:10:02,025
Then COVID hit, and I figured,
if the world's ending,
232
00:10:02,049 --> 00:10:04,261
I might as well be happy.
233
00:10:04,285 --> 00:10:06,363
I was so tired of being tired, you know?
234
00:10:06,387 --> 00:10:08,332
So, I quit that job that I hated,
235
00:10:08,356 --> 00:10:09,867
spent time with my kids,
236
00:10:09,891 --> 00:10:11,435
started working out,
237
00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:14,138
then I started my own business
making peanut brittle.
238
00:10:14,162 --> 00:10:16,016
Ooh. Try some.
239
00:10:16,631 --> 00:10:18,342
Ooh.
240
00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:19,977
No eating in the hospital.
241
00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:23,247
Um, so, Erika, it looks like
you have some bleeding
242
00:10:23,271 --> 00:10:24,748
under your abdominal muscle,
243
00:10:24,772 --> 00:10:28,519
so we'll need to do a CT
to evaluate how severe it is.
244
00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:30,743
Alright, page me
when she's ready, Schmitt.
245
00:10:32,512 --> 00:10:34,224
I won't tell if you won't.
246
00:10:38,618 --> 00:10:44,127
And I know we've only
technically met on the phone...
247
00:10:45,293 --> 00:10:47,671
but I'm marrying your sister,
248
00:10:47,695 --> 00:10:48,906
so how about you wake up
249
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:51,341
and give me a "Congratulations"
or something?
250
00:10:52,733 --> 00:10:54,077
I mean, I heard you were tough,
251
00:10:54,101 --> 00:10:56,669
but I didn't think you were cold.
252
00:10:59,407 --> 00:11:01,485
I want you closer.
253
00:11:01,509 --> 00:11:03,387
You're worried about the kids.
254
00:11:03,411 --> 00:11:04,521
If you get closer...
255
00:11:04,545 --> 00:11:05,923
I'll never leave.
256
00:11:05,947 --> 00:11:08,058
I think that's the theory.
257
00:11:08,082 --> 00:11:10,961
Your dad died when you were young.
258
00:11:10,985 --> 00:11:11,929
Yes.
259
00:11:11,953 --> 00:11:13,163
And it almost ruined me.
260
00:11:13,187 --> 00:11:14,657
But it didn't.
261
00:11:15,089 --> 00:11:16,767
Kids survive.
262
00:11:16,791 --> 00:11:19,036
And struggle makes them stronger.
263
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:21,138
Sometimes. Sometimes,
it makes them stronger,
264
00:11:21,162 --> 00:11:23,917
and sometimes, it makes them...
265
00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:26,410
Amelia.
266
00:11:28,736 --> 00:11:30,214
She's doing great, by the way.
267
00:11:30,238 --> 00:11:31,915
- I know.
- And she named her baby...
268
00:11:31,939 --> 00:11:32,983
I know!
269
00:11:35,543 --> 00:11:38,121
Oh.
270
00:11:38,145 --> 00:11:40,045
People love you, Meredith.
271
00:11:42,048 --> 00:11:43,520
People need you.
272
00:11:43,985 --> 00:11:45,729
I'm tired.
273
00:11:45,753 --> 00:11:47,197
Your body's tired.
274
00:11:47,221 --> 00:11:48,565
But your soul...
275
00:11:48,589 --> 00:11:51,111
Your soul won't even let me near you.
276
00:11:51,959 --> 00:11:53,993
You're still fighting.
277
00:11:55,362 --> 00:11:57,575
Have you seen the last...
278
00:11:58,399 --> 00:12:00,266
one or two years?
279
00:12:01,034 --> 00:12:02,880
Yeah.
280
00:12:02,904 --> 00:12:04,666
Was that hard for you?
281
00:12:05,172 --> 00:12:08,619
It's harder watching you be lonely.
282
00:12:14,782 --> 00:12:16,126
I want to say you're beautiful,
283
00:12:16,150 --> 00:12:19,496
but it's... shallow.
284
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,398
Say "pretty on the inside."
285
00:12:21,422 --> 00:12:23,233
That's what I tell Zola to say.
286
00:12:23,257 --> 00:12:25,603
"Be pretty on the inside."
287
00:12:25,993 --> 00:12:28,672
You're pretty on the inside,
Meredith Grey.
288
00:12:37,771 --> 00:12:39,883
- How's Grey?
- Not getting better.
289
00:12:39,907 --> 00:12:43,620
She won't stay awake, and her
liver enzymes are elevated.
290
00:12:43,644 --> 00:12:45,122
Any sign of acute infection?
291
00:12:45,146 --> 00:12:46,490
No, but that doesn't mean anything
292
00:12:46,514 --> 00:12:47,724
because this stupid disease causes
293
00:12:47,748 --> 00:12:49,026
every complication in the book
294
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:50,827
without any consistency whatsoever.
295
00:12:50,851 --> 00:12:52,029
Well, it's still relatively new.
296
00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:53,797
There's information coming out
every day, and...
297
00:12:53,821 --> 00:12:55,032
Yeah, vague information.
298
00:12:55,056 --> 00:12:57,134
We have no idea how this disease
299
00:12:57,158 --> 00:12:58,835
is gonna affect these patients
in the long-term.
300
00:12:58,859 --> 00:13:00,404
I mean, there could be
permanent lung scarring,
301
00:13:00,428 --> 00:13:02,906
vascular damage, neurological issues...
302
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:05,809
Eh, oh, no, please, keep... keep going.
303
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:06,944
Tom, I didn't...
304
00:13:06,968 --> 00:13:08,345
- I'm... I'm sorry.
- That's...
305
00:13:08,369 --> 00:13:09,686
I'm sure that you're fine.
306
00:13:10,938 --> 00:13:12,282
Alright. She's all set.
307
00:13:12,306 --> 00:13:14,373
Okay. Great. Thanks.
308
00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:16,186
Tom, I'm sorry. I...
309
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:17,487
Hey, Doc, you're just stating facts.
310
00:13:17,511 --> 00:13:18,689
Don't be sorry.
311
00:13:20,047 --> 00:13:21,358
Okay.
312
00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:28,765
What happened?
313
00:13:28,789 --> 00:13:30,167
Carolyn Hexton.
314
00:13:30,191 --> 00:13:31,836
Cardiac arrest.
315
00:13:32,827 --> 00:13:34,037
When I talked with her yesterday,
316
00:13:34,061 --> 00:13:35,472
she didn't even need oxygen.
317
00:13:35,496 --> 00:13:38,075
Yeah, and then she started
having arrhythmias,
318
00:13:38,099 --> 00:13:40,444
and then she went into V-fib.
319
00:13:40,468 --> 00:13:41,778
37 years old.
320
00:13:41,802 --> 00:13:43,180
Kindergarten teacher.
321
00:13:43,204 --> 00:13:45,604
She ran 10ks for charity.
322
00:13:47,374 --> 00:13:49,152
I thought she'd be going home this week.
323
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:50,587
Yeah. So did she.
324
00:13:50,611 --> 00:13:51,855
We all did.
325
00:13:53,614 --> 00:13:55,726
I got to call her family.
326
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,446
Hello, Mrs. Hexton. This is Dr. Hunt.
327
00:14:17,972 --> 00:14:19,717
No. No, um...
328
00:14:20,274 --> 00:14:21,385
No. She...
329
00:14:21,409 --> 00:14:22,808
Uh, she's, uh...
330
00:14:25,578 --> 00:14:28,859
Um, there were some complications.
331
00:14:31,118 --> 00:14:32,195
I'm sorry, Mrs. Hexton.
332
00:14:32,219 --> 00:14:34,331
Could you give me one moment, please?
333
00:14:44,268 --> 00:14:47,830
Dr. Seip. Dr. Tracy Seip to Recovery.
334
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,498
Please tell me you're not eating in...
335
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,400
I'm not! I'm not!
I'm just, uh... I'm smelling.
336
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:52,735
I-I miss smelling things.
337
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:56,072
Smell things after work
in the comfort of your own home.
338
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,896
My home smells like unwashed laundry.
339
00:15:02,176 --> 00:15:03,546
It's impressive, huh?
340
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,714
Leaving a successful career,
341
00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,782
getting in shape,
342
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:07,917
being there for your family.
343
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:11,609
She really made lemonade out of, um...
344
00:15:12,061 --> 00:15:14,490
a-a very deadly virus.
345
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,607
Must be nice.
346
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,594
You think she should be doing
something different?
347
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:22,665
I think if I suddenly started
baking snickerdoodles
348
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,834
and going base jumping,
349
00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:27,336
do me a favor
and throw a big net over me.
350
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,026
It's peanut brittle.
351
00:15:29,324 --> 00:15:31,436
It's... It's actually
a-a lot harder to master
352
00:15:31,460 --> 00:15:32,537
than snickerdoodles.
353
00:15:32,561 --> 00:15:33,805
Scans are up.
354
00:15:33,829 --> 00:15:35,840
Mm. Mm.
355
00:15:35,864 --> 00:15:37,842
Okay. Deep breaths, buddy.
356
00:15:37,866 --> 00:15:41,049
She told me to drop everything
I was doing and rush to the ER.
357
00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:43,114
Well, Dr. Shepherd has a tendency...
358
00:15:43,138 --> 00:15:46,718
...to, uh, raise the stakes
of any situation.
359
00:15:46,742 --> 00:15:48,253
MRI results will be back in a second.
360
00:15:48,277 --> 00:15:50,989
You look worried, and he keeps
telling me I'm gonna be fine.
361
00:15:51,013 --> 00:15:53,458
Dr. Shepherd, baseball is Felix's life.
362
00:15:53,482 --> 00:15:54,959
It's what got him into junior college,
363
00:15:54,983 --> 00:15:56,127
and it's his only hope of getting
364
00:15:56,151 --> 00:15:57,228
into a Division I school.
365
00:15:57,252 --> 00:15:58,396
What would you do if suddenly,
366
00:15:58,420 --> 00:15:59,597
you couldn't be a surgeon anymore?
367
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:02,066
You paged Koracick?
368
00:16:02,090 --> 00:16:03,501
No. Radiology did.
369
00:16:03,525 --> 00:16:05,158
Uh. Be right back.
370
00:16:06,794 --> 00:16:08,773
He has a meningioma, C6, 7.
371
00:16:08,797 --> 00:16:10,875
Let me look at it, please.
372
00:16:10,899 --> 00:16:12,544
That is a nasty little tumor.
373
00:16:12,568 --> 00:16:14,979
We'll have to do an intricate
multi-level decompression.
374
00:16:15,003 --> 00:16:16,681
Start with a wide excision,
375
00:16:16,705 --> 00:16:18,516
but that will destabilize
his cervical spine,
376
00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:19,751
so he'll need hardware.
377
00:16:19,775 --> 00:16:21,052
Forget about his pitching arm.
378
00:16:21,076 --> 00:16:22,954
Any slip, and you risk
making him a paraplegic.
379
00:16:22,978 --> 00:16:25,256
I mean, but there's a lot
going on with your sister
380
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,391
and our lives.
381
00:16:26,415 --> 00:16:28,026
It's been a long time since...
382
00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:30,195
I'm not that rusty, thank you.
383
00:16:30,219 --> 00:16:31,396
You can go, Tom.
384
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:32,764
Alright, one millimeter off...
385
00:16:32,788 --> 00:16:34,299
I said you can go, Tom.
386
00:16:34,323 --> 00:16:35,567
And, uh, if you want to help,
387
00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:38,658
you can comfort the patient
while I book an OR.
388
00:16:42,864 --> 00:16:45,009
How we doing today?
389
00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,144
Oh, you know,
390
00:16:46,168 --> 00:16:48,980
just thinking about how selfish it is
391
00:16:49,004 --> 00:16:50,849
to follow my dreams.
392
00:16:50,873 --> 00:16:52,784
I meant Luna, but, uh, good to know.
393
00:16:52,808 --> 00:16:54,752
Luna's trending upwards,
394
00:16:54,776 --> 00:16:59,157
so Luna is a bright spot
in a sea of unfettered misery.
395
00:16:59,181 --> 00:17:00,291
What's all this about dreams?
396
00:17:00,315 --> 00:17:01,593
I want to switch to OB,
397
00:17:01,617 --> 00:17:03,161
but Bailey said it's a bad time.
398
00:17:03,185 --> 00:17:05,196
Ah, she's not wrong there.
399
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:06,965
Thank you.
400
00:17:06,989 --> 00:17:08,600
Listen, everything will sort itself out
401
00:17:08,624 --> 00:17:09,667
once Grey's back on her feet.
402
00:17:09,691 --> 00:17:11,302
If she gets back on her feet.
403
00:17:11,326 --> 00:17:12,932
Well, I thought she was on the mend.
404
00:17:13,428 --> 00:17:14,939
We all did.
405
00:17:14,963 --> 00:17:16,561
Well, how bad is it?
406
00:17:17,366 --> 00:17:20,211
Her liver enzymes
are elevated this morning,
407
00:17:20,235 --> 00:17:21,579
and her creatinine is worse,
408
00:17:21,603 --> 00:17:25,695
so her kidneys could be failing,
and nobody knows why.
409
00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:28,453
God, it's just one thing
after another, isn't it?
410
00:17:28,477 --> 00:17:31,589
This is my way of remembering
that there is more to the world
411
00:17:31,613 --> 00:17:33,953
than just misery and death.
412
00:17:34,516 --> 00:17:36,060
At least, I hope there is.
413
00:17:38,420 --> 00:17:40,498
I'll get out of your way.
414
00:17:46,361 --> 00:17:48,895
Tell me you found something.
415
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,509
Meredith's chest CT was clear.
416
00:17:51,533 --> 00:17:53,978
However, her abdominal CT wasn't.
417
00:17:54,002 --> 00:17:57,148
We found a filling defect
in her IVC and hepatic vein.
418
00:17:57,172 --> 00:17:58,583
And is that clot in her liver?
419
00:17:58,607 --> 00:18:00,518
Yes, which explains
why she can't stay awake.
420
00:18:00,542 --> 00:18:02,287
Her body's fighting a build-up
of ammonia.
421
00:18:02,311 --> 00:18:05,723
It's a small clot, but
if we don't treat it quickly,
422
00:18:05,747 --> 00:18:07,191
then there could be fluid build-up,
423
00:18:07,215 --> 00:18:09,294
which will just wreak havoc
on her liver.
424
00:18:09,318 --> 00:18:12,196
Can you do, uh, an IR shunt
or thrombolytics, or...
425
00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:14,499
A TIPS procedure should be done
in the IR suite, for sure,
426
00:18:14,523 --> 00:18:16,634
but I don't think I should do it.
427
00:18:16,658 --> 00:18:17,869
Why not?
428
00:18:17,893 --> 00:18:19,837
Because Dr. Altman's here,
429
00:18:19,861 --> 00:18:22,740
and because Dr. Grey is Maggie's sister,
430
00:18:22,764 --> 00:18:25,810
- and if anything...
- Dr. Altman...
431
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:28,134
are you sure you're up to this?
432
00:18:29,904 --> 00:18:31,082
It's a simple procedure.
433
00:18:31,106 --> 00:18:33,051
I know what it is.
434
00:18:33,075 --> 00:18:34,385
I'm asking, are you...
435
00:18:34,409 --> 00:18:36,307
I will book an IR suite.
436
00:18:37,212 --> 00:18:38,356
Altman...
437
00:18:40,349 --> 00:18:42,063
...are you sure?
438
00:18:42,784 --> 00:18:45,024
Meredith doesn't have time
for this conversation.
439
00:18:54,036 --> 00:18:55,213
Hey.
440
00:18:55,237 --> 00:18:56,748
Webber send you to check in on me?
441
00:18:56,772 --> 00:18:58,216
No. No, he told me what was going on
442
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,152
and asked me if we thought
you were okay to operate.
443
00:19:00,176 --> 00:19:01,336
- And?
- And I told him
444
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:02,588
you were fine to operate
445
00:19:02,612 --> 00:19:04,323
and there was no one better to do it.
446
00:19:04,347 --> 00:19:05,819
- Thank you.
- And I also told him
447
00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:07,259
that if something goes wrong,
448
00:19:07,283 --> 00:19:08,460
either something within your control
449
00:19:08,484 --> 00:19:09,561
or something outside of it,
450
00:19:09,585 --> 00:19:11,430
I'm not sure that you'll recover.
451
00:19:17,126 --> 00:19:18,770
I lost a kindergarten teacher today.
452
00:19:18,794 --> 00:19:20,839
I had to call her family.
I broke down on the phone.
453
00:19:20,863 --> 00:19:22,474
I don't know if they knew
that I was crying
454
00:19:22,498 --> 00:19:23,709
or if they thought that I was choking,
455
00:19:23,733 --> 00:19:25,523
but I was pretty much doing both.
456
00:19:26,168 --> 00:19:29,348
Never in my career have I... cried
457
00:19:29,372 --> 00:19:31,083
while delivering news to a family.
458
00:19:31,107 --> 00:19:32,084
It is unprofessional,
459
00:19:32,108 --> 00:19:33,919
and honestly, it is embarrassing.
460
00:19:33,943 --> 00:19:36,388
And after all we saw in the war,
all that loss,
461
00:19:36,412 --> 00:19:38,991
and this kindergarten teacher
that I barely knew
462
00:19:39,015 --> 00:19:41,515
just... broke me.
463
00:19:43,318 --> 00:19:44,730
Because, uh...
464
00:19:44,754 --> 00:19:46,198
Because COVID.
465
00:19:46,222 --> 00:19:47,254
Yeah.
466
00:19:48,790 --> 00:19:50,302
You've been through a lot, Teddy,
467
00:19:50,326 --> 00:19:53,509
and you just came back,
and it is Meredith.
468
00:19:54,397 --> 00:19:55,607
If something goes wrong...
469
00:19:55,631 --> 00:19:57,179
I might not recover.
470
00:20:00,902 --> 00:20:03,348
Can you page Dr. Ndugu for me, please?
471
00:20:28,831 --> 00:20:31,843
Dr. Shepherd, I've worked
with a lot of neurosurgeons.
472
00:20:31,867 --> 00:20:33,779
None of them were as good as you.
473
00:20:33,803 --> 00:20:35,414
One millimeter in the wrong direction,
474
00:20:35,438 --> 00:20:37,970
and I end this kid's career.
475
00:20:38,407 --> 00:20:39,384
That's what Tom said.
476
00:20:39,408 --> 00:20:40,419
That is what he said,
477
00:20:40,443 --> 00:20:41,887
and that's what I said.
478
00:20:41,911 --> 00:20:44,611
But you are Amelia Shepherd.
479
00:20:46,481 --> 00:20:48,193
So you got this.
480
00:21:06,135 --> 00:21:07,500
What's she doing?
481
00:21:08,404 --> 00:21:10,649
She's getting ready to crush it.
482
00:21:15,978 --> 00:21:17,426
Did something happen?
483
00:21:17,913 --> 00:21:20,292
- Yeah, you'll be joining me.
- Okay.
484
00:21:20,316 --> 00:21:22,527
She's not just your family or Maggie's.
485
00:21:22,551 --> 00:21:24,629
She's mine. She's everyone's.
486
00:21:24,653 --> 00:21:26,565
So, she's gonna have two of the finest
487
00:21:26,589 --> 00:21:28,633
cardiovascular surgeons in the country,
488
00:21:28,657 --> 00:21:29,835
and we're not gonna think about
489
00:21:29,859 --> 00:21:31,369
what she means to us or to everyone.
490
00:21:31,393 --> 00:21:34,506
We are gonna help each other do
what we know how to do,
491
00:21:34,530 --> 00:21:37,509
and we will watch
each other's every move.
492
00:21:37,533 --> 00:21:40,512
No ego. There's no question
that's too stupid to ask.
493
00:21:40,536 --> 00:21:42,180
It's just about the work,
494
00:21:42,204 --> 00:21:44,816
and we are going to remove this clot.
495
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,051
Deal.
496
00:21:46,075 --> 00:21:47,419
Okay, then.
497
00:21:49,111 --> 00:21:50,188
Here we go.
498
00:21:50,212 --> 00:21:51,990
Ultrasound?
499
00:21:56,652 --> 00:21:58,330
Ellis draws this picture of us.
500
00:21:58,354 --> 00:21:59,564
- I'm in a wedding dress.
- Uh-huh.
501
00:21:59,588 --> 00:22:00,866
And then you're in a suit.
502
00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:03,602
I showed her the Post-it Note,
but she just...
503
00:22:03,626 --> 00:22:05,036
- Hates it.
- Hates it.
504
00:22:05,060 --> 00:22:06,605
She feels robbed.
505
00:22:06,629 --> 00:22:08,073
Well, she gets that from my mother.
506
00:22:13,402 --> 00:22:15,180
Oh.
507
00:22:18,307 --> 00:22:19,718
You hate weddings.
508
00:22:19,742 --> 00:22:22,187
I hate weddings.
509
00:22:22,211 --> 00:22:24,645
But I would give this to her if I could.
510
00:22:26,314 --> 00:22:28,293
What do you want me to promise?
511
00:22:28,317 --> 00:22:30,428
To torture yourself less.
512
00:22:44,967 --> 00:22:47,145
I don't want to leave the kids.
513
00:22:47,169 --> 00:22:49,047
I don't want you to leave the kids.
514
00:23:01,183 --> 00:23:02,656
Hey, Zola.
515
00:23:03,352 --> 00:23:06,827
Your math teacher said you
signed out of class early today.
516
00:23:07,223 --> 00:23:08,400
Are you okay?
517
00:23:13,863 --> 00:23:15,574
What's wrong?
518
00:23:15,598 --> 00:23:16,842
I'm mad.
519
00:23:16,866 --> 00:23:19,110
- At someone at school?
- At everything.
520
00:23:19,134 --> 00:23:20,779
Hm.
521
00:23:22,471 --> 00:23:24,970
Did you see the news,
about the protests?
522
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:27,452
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
523
00:23:27,476 --> 00:23:29,754
When my teachers try to talk about it,
524
00:23:29,778 --> 00:23:32,791
they get really weird
and seem scared to say anything.
525
00:23:32,815 --> 00:23:34,034
That happens.
526
00:23:34,076 --> 00:23:36,065
Do you want to go to a protest?
527
00:23:36,521 --> 00:23:37,665
I could take you.
528
00:23:37,689 --> 00:23:39,900
I don't want to go without my mom.
529
00:23:39,924 --> 00:23:41,936
She'd be mad, too.
530
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,637
But she doesn't even know
what's happening.
531
00:23:43,661 --> 00:23:45,473
She says she works at the best hospital
532
00:23:45,497 --> 00:23:46,640
with the best doctors.
533
00:23:46,664 --> 00:23:47,908
She does. We do.
534
00:23:47,932 --> 00:23:50,133
Then why isn't she home?
535
00:23:51,668 --> 00:23:53,481
You know Dr. Fox?
536
00:23:53,505 --> 00:23:57,184
She told me to try something
537
00:23:57,208 --> 00:23:59,587
when I'm really upset
that really helped.
538
00:23:59,611 --> 00:24:00,923
What?
539
00:24:01,479 --> 00:24:03,224
Screaming.
540
00:24:03,248 --> 00:24:04,558
I'm serious.
541
00:24:04,582 --> 00:24:05,659
It'll wake up the baby.
542
00:24:05,683 --> 00:24:07,762
It's okay.
It's time for his bottle anyway.
543
00:24:07,786 --> 00:24:10,364
Come on. Come on.
544
00:24:10,388 --> 00:24:11,298
Okay.
545
00:24:11,322 --> 00:24:13,434
Come on. Shake it off. Ready?
546
00:24:13,458 --> 00:24:17,338
One, two, three.
547
00:24:33,545 --> 00:24:36,557
Your CT shows what's called
a rectus sheath hematoma.
548
00:24:36,581 --> 00:24:37,691
It's when you have bleeding
549
00:24:37,715 --> 00:24:39,293
under your middle abdominal muscles.
550
00:24:39,317 --> 00:24:40,828
Banged myself up good, didn't I?
551
00:24:40,852 --> 00:24:43,063
And your blood counts are a little low,
552
00:24:43,087 --> 00:24:45,065
so we'll need to watch you overnight
553
00:24:45,089 --> 00:24:47,668
to make sure the bleeding
doesn't get worse.
554
00:24:47,692 --> 00:24:49,637
Well, your tib/fib
fracture should heal nicely
555
00:24:49,661 --> 00:24:51,105
without surgery, but we're gonna need
556
00:24:51,129 --> 00:24:52,807
to put you in a cast
before you're discharged,
557
00:24:52,831 --> 00:24:54,575
which you'll have to be in
for about six weeks.
558
00:24:54,599 --> 00:24:56,377
Mm, I can make brittle from a chair.
559
00:24:58,903 --> 00:25:01,916
Must take a lot of peanuts to
make what you made as a lawyer.
560
00:25:01,940 --> 00:25:03,651
I-I'd need a factory for that.
561
00:25:03,675 --> 00:25:05,838
Yeah.
562
00:25:06,544 --> 00:25:09,223
You think I'm crazy, don't you?
563
00:25:09,247 --> 00:25:10,658
I didn't say anything.
564
00:25:10,682 --> 00:25:13,460
There was this poem I read
in high school.
565
00:25:13,484 --> 00:25:15,296
This lady stood near a cliff,
566
00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,498
afraid to get close to the edge
for a better view
567
00:25:17,522 --> 00:25:20,034
because she thought she might fall.
568
00:25:20,058 --> 00:25:22,203
But then someone pushed her.
569
00:25:22,227 --> 00:25:23,804
Was the poem about murder?
570
00:25:23,828 --> 00:25:26,884
No, because she didn't fall...
571
00:25:27,665 --> 00:25:29,043
She flew.
572
00:25:29,067 --> 00:25:31,111
The cliff was a metaphor...
573
00:25:31,135 --> 00:25:33,247
It's what we're afraid will happen.
574
00:25:33,271 --> 00:25:35,616
There's so much
the world tells us we need
575
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,885
that we don't really need.
576
00:25:37,909 --> 00:25:40,955
Couldn't see it until I took the jump...
577
00:25:40,979 --> 00:25:43,090
Isssh...
578
00:25:43,114 --> 00:25:44,792
beautiful...
579
00:25:44,816 --> 00:25:46,694
Shhhhome...
580
00:25:46,718 --> 00:25:48,262
Uh...
581
00:25:48,286 --> 00:25:50,319
- Oh.
- Pulse is thready.
582
00:25:51,822 --> 00:25:53,167
Hematoma's expanding.
583
00:25:53,191 --> 00:25:54,168
She's actively bleeding.
584
00:25:54,192 --> 00:25:55,269
Let's get her to the OR.
585
00:25:55,293 --> 00:25:57,071
We're coming up to the OR!
586
00:26:04,994 --> 00:26:06,739
Stent looks patent after the procedure.
587
00:26:06,763 --> 00:26:08,441
And liver enzymes? The creatinine?
588
00:26:08,465 --> 00:26:09,375
Already improving.
589
00:26:09,399 --> 00:26:11,244
Then why isn't she waking up?
590
00:26:11,268 --> 00:26:12,812
- It takes time.
- We have given her time.
591
00:26:12,836 --> 00:26:13,980
We have given her time,
592
00:26:14,004 --> 00:26:15,915
and every test and every treatment.
593
00:26:15,939 --> 00:26:18,351
We removed that clot
perfectly... perfectly...
594
00:26:18,375 --> 00:26:19,719
And she's still not waking up,
595
00:26:19,743 --> 00:26:21,855
and she's still not improving,
and she's still not going home.
596
00:26:21,879 --> 00:26:22,889
- Why isn't she?
- Altman, there is...
597
00:26:22,913 --> 00:26:23,890
I'm sorry. I-I can't.
598
00:26:23,914 --> 00:26:25,258
I have to take a walk.
599
00:26:31,288 --> 00:26:32,932
More suction.
600
00:26:34,458 --> 00:26:37,804
Ah, there's the inferior
epigastric artery.
601
00:26:37,828 --> 00:26:39,439
Hemostat.
602
00:26:39,463 --> 00:26:42,842
Yeah, looks like she'll live
to skate another day.
603
00:26:42,866 --> 00:26:44,277
2-0 silk.
604
00:26:44,301 --> 00:26:46,797
You know how a pearl is formed, Schmitt?
605
00:26:47,337 --> 00:26:48,799
Should I?
606
00:26:49,406 --> 00:26:55,188
It all starts with one
very irritating grain of sand.
607
00:26:55,212 --> 00:26:57,123
The oyster doesn't like it,
608
00:26:57,147 --> 00:27:00,126
wants to keep its shell pristine.
609
00:27:00,150 --> 00:27:02,128
So, to get rid of the sand,
610
00:27:02,152 --> 00:27:06,199
the oyster coats it with
the inner layer of its shell.
611
00:27:06,223 --> 00:27:09,369
Then we're gonna tie off the
collateral while we're in there.
612
00:27:09,393 --> 00:27:10,670
Good.
613
00:27:10,694 --> 00:27:12,172
Perfect.
614
00:27:12,196 --> 00:27:14,807
But that just makes the sand bigger.
615
00:27:15,899 --> 00:27:17,644
And even more annoying to the oyster.
616
00:27:17,668 --> 00:27:23,249
So, the oyster just keeps adding
layer after layer,
617
00:27:23,273 --> 00:27:26,386
until... a pearl.
618
00:27:27,511 --> 00:27:28,521
Lap pads.
619
00:27:28,545 --> 00:27:29,889
So, I'm the sand,
620
00:27:29,913 --> 00:27:32,825
and you're trying to transform me?
621
00:27:32,849 --> 00:27:34,460
The story wasn't about you, Schmitt.
622
00:27:34,484 --> 00:27:36,663
The pandemic is the sand,
623
00:27:36,687 --> 00:27:40,066
and it's pushed its way
into all of our homes,
624
00:27:40,090 --> 00:27:43,854
but it doesn't mean
it has to ruin everything.
625
00:27:44,795 --> 00:27:48,408
Maybe it is an opportunity to transform.
626
00:27:48,432 --> 00:27:51,477
Maybe Erika here has the right idea.
627
00:27:51,501 --> 00:27:53,268
I guess that's what
Jo Wilson's doing, right?
628
00:27:54,303 --> 00:27:56,849
Now, why would you bring up
losing one of my best surgeons
629
00:27:56,873 --> 00:27:59,252
when I just got to my happy place?
630
00:28:00,877 --> 00:28:02,355
Goodness.
631
00:28:04,481 --> 00:28:06,335
Goodbye, tumor.
632
00:28:06,984 --> 00:28:09,088
You two really are co-dependent.
633
00:28:10,621 --> 00:28:12,599
She ask you to chaperone?
634
00:28:12,623 --> 00:28:13,700
Nope.
635
00:28:13,724 --> 00:28:16,336
Just living vicariously.
636
00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:17,437
You here to chaperone?
637
00:28:17,461 --> 00:28:18,931
No.
638
00:28:19,463 --> 00:28:20,473
Don't tell her I said this,
639
00:28:20,497 --> 00:28:22,242
but Shepherd's fun to watch in there.
640
00:28:22,266 --> 00:28:24,277
Elegant, focused, confident.
641
00:28:24,301 --> 00:28:26,522
Pippen to my Jordan.
642
00:28:27,104 --> 00:28:28,548
What do you hear about Meredith?
643
00:28:28,572 --> 00:28:29,582
Uh, I don't.
644
00:28:29,606 --> 00:28:32,452
Uh, I... don't.
645
00:28:32,476 --> 00:28:34,887
I largely try to avoid that
entire wing of the hospital
646
00:28:34,911 --> 00:28:37,282
because... God.
647
00:28:38,382 --> 00:28:40,911
When is it just too much, Lincoln?
648
00:28:42,119 --> 00:28:44,264
When do we get to scream at God?
649
00:28:44,288 --> 00:28:45,798
When do we get to open
a bottle of Scotch
650
00:28:45,822 --> 00:28:47,600
and pour him a giant God-sized glass,
651
00:28:47,624 --> 00:28:50,136
push it across the table, and
when he's too drunk to smite us,
652
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,548
just scream...
653
00:28:53,563 --> 00:28:55,830
"What kind of a sick joke is this?"
654
00:28:59,001 --> 00:29:02,103
I don't get how kids still
get cancer during all this.
655
00:29:04,173 --> 00:29:06,341
What kind of a sick joke is this?
656
00:29:09,912 --> 00:29:11,124
Is she awake?
657
00:29:11,148 --> 00:29:12,681
No.
658
00:29:13,649 --> 00:29:15,261
What if we did something wrong?
659
00:29:15,285 --> 00:29:16,296
You didn't.
660
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:17,797
What if we caused the clot to break off
661
00:29:17,821 --> 00:29:19,599
and now she's having a massive stroke?
662
00:29:19,623 --> 00:29:21,868
Teddy, there's nothing that
indicates any of that, okay?
663
00:29:21,892 --> 00:29:23,670
Then why isn't she awake?
664
00:29:25,729 --> 00:29:27,040
Teddy, breathe, okay?
665
00:29:27,064 --> 00:29:28,775
Just... Just breathe.
666
00:29:28,799 --> 00:29:29,909
Listen, hold my hand.
667
00:29:29,933 --> 00:29:31,503
Can you feel my hand?
668
00:29:32,235 --> 00:29:34,213
Okay. Just feel that
and just concentrate on that.
669
00:29:34,237 --> 00:29:36,916
Concentrate on the weight
of my hand on your hand.
670
00:29:38,542 --> 00:29:41,054
Good.
671
00:29:41,078 --> 00:29:42,955
No. No. No.
672
00:29:42,979 --> 00:29:44,329
Owen, please... Teddy, no.
673
00:29:46,249 --> 00:29:47,327
Listen, I'm here.
674
00:29:47,351 --> 00:29:49,262
I am here with you.
675
00:29:49,286 --> 00:29:50,689
Okay?
676
00:29:51,188 --> 00:29:53,025
But you need to feel this, Teddy.
677
00:29:53,824 --> 00:29:55,101
Just feel it.
678
00:30:10,106 --> 00:30:12,685
Dr. Webber, maybe you should go.
679
00:30:12,709 --> 00:30:14,721
- Why?
- Because it's only my first day,
680
00:30:14,745 --> 00:30:18,508
and I want to try something that
could very well get me fired.
681
00:30:19,082 --> 00:30:20,193
Absolutely not.
682
00:30:20,217 --> 00:30:22,128
Well, at least hear the man out.
683
00:30:22,152 --> 00:30:24,063
I've heard.
684
00:30:24,087 --> 00:30:26,232
Zola is already traumatized.
685
00:30:26,256 --> 00:30:28,835
I am not bringing her to the hospital.
686
00:30:28,859 --> 00:30:30,536
We need to do something, Maggie.
687
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,572
Hearing her daughter, feeling her?
688
00:30:32,596 --> 00:30:35,675
- Maybe it could help.
- Winston, if your mother or my mother
689
00:30:35,699 --> 00:30:36,943
could have stayed and lived,
690
00:30:36,967 --> 00:30:38,778
they would have stayed and lived,
691
00:30:38,802 --> 00:30:40,880
but people don't just decide.
692
00:30:40,904 --> 00:30:42,448
It's not a choice.
693
00:30:42,472 --> 00:30:44,450
Our mothers were terminally ill,
694
00:30:44,474 --> 00:30:46,085
but Meredith...
695
00:30:46,109 --> 00:30:48,610
we have fixed the only thing
we found that was wrong.
696
00:30:52,047 --> 00:30:53,526
It's too much to put on a child.
697
00:30:53,550 --> 00:30:55,261
All she'll know is that
she's coming to see her mom,
698
00:30:55,285 --> 00:30:57,964
which she wants to do anyway,
and Meredith's negative now.
699
00:30:57,988 --> 00:31:00,299
- It's safe.
- Maggie, you know good and well
700
00:31:00,323 --> 00:31:03,136
that there is a psychological
component to recovery.
701
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:04,570
I've seen it again and again.
702
00:31:04,594 --> 00:31:05,872
I have, too.
703
00:31:05,896 --> 00:31:07,774
Well, don't you think
it's at least worth trying?
704
00:31:07,798 --> 00:31:09,142
Maggie, whether it works or it doesn't,
705
00:31:09,166 --> 00:31:11,666
at least Zola gets to see her mom again.
706
00:31:14,804 --> 00:31:16,504
Let me call you back.
707
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:19,552
Hey.
708
00:31:19,576 --> 00:31:20,820
I want to go.
709
00:31:20,844 --> 00:31:22,522
I want to see Mommy.
710
00:31:32,159 --> 00:31:33,458
You got it?
711
00:31:34,294 --> 00:31:35,605
All of it?
712
00:31:35,629 --> 00:31:36,920
All of it.
713
00:31:37,864 --> 00:31:39,298
And my arms?
714
00:31:40,167 --> 00:31:41,878
You show us.
715
00:31:45,372 --> 00:31:46,816
Oh.
716
00:31:50,343 --> 00:31:52,288
Alright, you get some rest.
717
00:31:55,415 --> 00:31:57,193
Okay. I need Scout.
718
00:31:57,217 --> 00:31:59,128
I know. We haven't even
been gone that long.
719
00:31:59,152 --> 00:32:01,297
- I miss him, too.
- Ooh, no, my boobs hurt.
720
00:32:01,321 --> 00:32:03,399
I need to nurse or pump.
721
00:32:03,423 --> 00:32:04,233
Or both.
722
00:32:04,257 --> 00:32:06,169
- And let's go.
- Hmm.
723
00:32:06,193 --> 00:32:09,305
Bandage is clean and dry and intact.
724
00:32:09,329 --> 00:32:10,873
No evidence of bleeding.
725
00:32:10,897 --> 00:32:12,008
How's your pain, Erika?
726
00:32:12,032 --> 00:32:13,376
Nothing I can't handle.
727
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:15,077
How long until I can work again?
728
00:32:15,101 --> 00:32:17,168
Well, you'll be back
in brittle business in no time.
729
00:32:19,004 --> 00:32:21,984
I meant work-work, not brittle.
730
00:32:22,008 --> 00:32:23,719
At least, if anyone's hiring.
731
00:32:23,743 --> 00:32:24,987
To the job you hate?
732
00:32:25,011 --> 00:32:27,823
To the job that keeps me alive
and in one piece,
733
00:32:27,847 --> 00:32:29,492
and keeps my kids fed.
734
00:32:29,516 --> 00:32:31,127
Quarantine was a nice vacation,
735
00:32:31,151 --> 00:32:32,995
but I can't live in the clouds.
736
00:32:33,019 --> 00:32:34,830
I need to be realistic.
737
00:32:34,854 --> 00:32:37,099
God, what was I thinking?
738
00:32:37,123 --> 00:32:39,608
That this world had more to offer.
739
00:32:40,594 --> 00:32:42,104
Oh, Erika.
740
00:32:43,930 --> 00:32:45,741
You know, that... That feeling
741
00:32:45,765 --> 00:32:47,877
that you have to keep going
no matter what,
742
00:32:47,901 --> 00:32:50,046
that it's all on your shoulders...
743
00:32:50,070 --> 00:32:54,917
It's something
that we're taught as women,
744
00:32:54,941 --> 00:32:56,619
as Black women.
745
00:32:56,643 --> 00:32:58,921
And I'm guilty of it.
746
00:32:58,945 --> 00:33:00,923
And the pressure
to keep this place running?
747
00:33:02,082 --> 00:33:05,828
I never used to take any breaks.
748
00:33:05,852 --> 00:33:07,129
I never used to let down my guard.
749
00:33:07,153 --> 00:33:09,554
I never... I never took breaks.
750
00:33:10,490 --> 00:33:12,974
And then I had a heart attack in my 40s.
751
00:33:13,893 --> 00:33:16,205
"Rest" is not a dirty word.
752
00:33:16,229 --> 00:33:19,275
Rest is... not laziness,
753
00:33:19,299 --> 00:33:20,343
no matter what you're told
754
00:33:20,367 --> 00:33:22,545
or how many times you're told it.
755
00:33:22,569 --> 00:33:25,348
Rest... Rest is love.
756
00:33:25,372 --> 00:33:27,617
Rest is peace.
757
00:33:29,142 --> 00:33:33,245
Rest is a beautiful model
for your children.
758
00:33:33,947 --> 00:33:35,288
And I was...
759
00:33:35,949 --> 00:33:39,862
forgetting again until I met you.
760
00:33:42,188 --> 00:33:44,500
So, don't be too quick
to give up on your joy.
761
00:33:45,792 --> 00:33:48,471
You can... make it your revolution.
762
00:33:55,935 --> 00:33:57,079
Hey.
763
00:33:57,103 --> 00:33:58,180
It's the smallest one that we have.
764
00:33:58,204 --> 00:33:59,148
Who's it for?
765
00:33:59,172 --> 00:34:00,483
The less you know, the better.
766
00:34:02,295 --> 00:34:03,552
Eh, and don't worry...
767
00:34:03,576 --> 00:34:05,288
I won't tell anyone it's from you.
768
00:34:05,312 --> 00:34:06,722
Fine with me if you do.
769
00:35:01,434 --> 00:35:02,712
Now, go on.
770
00:35:02,736 --> 00:35:04,513
She's waiting for you.
771
00:35:04,537 --> 00:35:07,083
Hey, if you change your mind,
it's alright.
772
00:35:07,107 --> 00:35:08,918
It's okay if you're scared.
773
00:35:12,112 --> 00:35:13,589
Mommy?
774
00:35:16,282 --> 00:35:17,426
It... It's me.
775
00:35:18,485 --> 00:35:19,695
I'm here.
776
00:35:21,321 --> 00:35:22,407
It's Zozo.
777
00:35:26,259 --> 00:35:27,870
I miss you so much.
778
00:35:38,838 --> 00:35:40,738
I got your page.
779
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,019
My answer is no.
780
00:35:44,043 --> 00:35:46,822
Did you forget
that you already told me that?
781
00:35:46,846 --> 00:35:50,626
No. I will not be making you keep a job
782
00:35:50,650 --> 00:35:52,328
that no longer fulfills you.
783
00:35:52,352 --> 00:35:55,398
What about all of the...
The surgeons that you're losing?
784
00:35:55,422 --> 00:35:56,999
Do you want me to change my mind?
785
00:35:57,023 --> 00:35:58,100
No.
786
00:35:58,124 --> 00:36:00,469
Look, all non-emergency surgeries
787
00:36:00,493 --> 00:36:02,171
are non-existent anymore,
788
00:36:02,195 --> 00:36:05,574
and if I have to hire
a new general surgeon,
789
00:36:05,598 --> 00:36:07,777
I will, but that's not your problem.
790
00:36:07,801 --> 00:36:10,279
- That's mine.
- I will help you find anyone to...
791
00:36:10,303 --> 00:36:12,681
Eh...
792
00:36:12,705 --> 00:36:14,483
Thank you. Thank you.
793
00:36:14,507 --> 00:36:16,685
Just love it, Wilson.
794
00:36:16,709 --> 00:36:20,623
Love it with every part of you.
795
00:36:26,820 --> 00:36:27,963
Hey.
796
00:36:27,987 --> 00:36:30,032
How's the, uh,
peanut brittle woman doing?
797
00:36:30,056 --> 00:36:31,734
Heard you had to rush her into surgery.
798
00:36:31,758 --> 00:36:34,937
Nico, I think you're standing
on a cliff and you're scared.
799
00:36:34,961 --> 00:36:38,007
Sounds a little crazy because
you're never scared of anything,
800
00:36:38,031 --> 00:36:41,644
but me having a little space
in your apartment...
801
00:36:41,668 --> 00:36:43,612
It's not the end of the world.
802
00:36:43,636 --> 00:36:45,414
Doesn't mean I'll never leave.
803
00:36:45,438 --> 00:36:48,284
It doesn't mean
that we're getting married.
804
00:36:48,308 --> 00:36:51,220
It just... It means
that you're carving out
805
00:36:51,244 --> 00:36:53,361
a small amount of room for me.
806
00:36:55,048 --> 00:36:56,358
Huh.
807
00:36:56,382 --> 00:36:58,060
Well, move in with me.
808
00:36:59,686 --> 00:37:01,964
You're right. I guard
my own space out of habit
809
00:37:01,988 --> 00:37:05,568
because it makes me feels safe,
but safe from what?
810
00:37:05,592 --> 00:37:07,042
You?
811
00:37:07,694 --> 00:37:10,253
I love you, Levi.
812
00:37:10,897 --> 00:37:12,541
So just...
813
00:37:12,565 --> 00:37:14,007
move in with me.
814
00:37:14,601 --> 00:37:17,680
Oh, I just... I just remembered
I can't come over tonight.
815
00:37:17,704 --> 00:37:20,449
Jo is really sad about Jackson leaving.
816
00:37:20,473 --> 00:37:21,684
She is? What?
817
00:37:21,708 --> 00:37:24,253
Yeah, and I-I promised her
that I'd hang out.
818
00:37:24,277 --> 00:37:26,254
But... great talk.
819
00:37:26,278 --> 00:37:27,289
Levi!
820
00:37:27,313 --> 00:37:28,290
See you tomorrow.
821
00:37:29,916 --> 00:37:30,960
- Hey.
- Hey.
822
00:37:30,984 --> 00:37:33,295
Oh! Oh! Oh! Bailey said yes!
823
00:37:33,319 --> 00:37:34,930
Great. What are we watching?
824
00:37:34,954 --> 00:37:36,432
Wait, what happened to Nico night?
825
00:37:36,456 --> 00:37:38,167
- Oh, he's, uh... he's busy.
- He's standing right over there.
826
00:37:38,191 --> 00:37:40,135
Yeah, yeah.
I said, "What are we watching?"
827
00:37:45,465 --> 00:37:47,543
Whoa! Easy there, kiddos!
828
00:37:47,567 --> 00:37:48,878
Oh, alright.
829
00:37:48,902 --> 00:37:50,880
Yeah. Cool fort.
830
00:37:50,904 --> 00:37:52,281
You got room for one more?
831
00:37:52,305 --> 00:37:53,782
What's the password?
832
00:37:53,806 --> 00:37:55,751
- Uh... Rainbow Donkey?
- Nope!
833
00:37:55,775 --> 00:37:57,019
I'm gonna go check on Scout.
834
00:37:57,043 --> 00:37:58,354
He just ate.
835
00:37:58,378 --> 00:38:00,804
Little thing was out
in about 10 seconds.
836
00:38:02,181 --> 00:38:04,193
I'm sorry, was I supposed to
keep him up?
837
00:38:04,217 --> 00:38:05,861
Uh, Mom? What...
What are you doing here?
838
00:38:05,885 --> 00:38:07,463
Did Zola wake up Mommy?
839
00:38:07,487 --> 00:38:10,521
- What?
- She went to try and wake up Mommy.
840
00:38:11,823 --> 00:38:13,836
Did something happen with Meredith?
841
00:38:27,766 --> 00:38:29,967
No change in her mentation.
842
00:38:30,676 --> 00:38:31,787
Sorry.
843
00:38:31,811 --> 00:38:33,622
Well, it's something.
844
00:38:33,646 --> 00:38:35,591
And no matter what happens,
845
00:38:35,615 --> 00:38:37,026
you did something,
846
00:38:37,050 --> 00:38:38,627
and I'm grateful.
847
00:38:38,651 --> 00:38:40,551
I want her to live.
848
00:38:42,521 --> 00:38:44,139
I haven't met her yet.
849
00:38:44,857 --> 00:38:46,001
And she's...
850
00:38:46,025 --> 00:38:48,593
she's not just Maggie's sister.
851
00:38:49,861 --> 00:38:51,980
She's Dr. Meredith Grey.
852
00:38:52,632 --> 00:38:55,299
So she lives, right?
853
00:38:55,692 --> 00:38:57,580
Please God.
854
00:38:58,905 --> 00:39:00,282
Please God.
855
00:39:00,306 --> 00:39:02,851
Those moments,
when everything fades away,
856
00:39:02,875 --> 00:39:05,054
you're at your best.
857
00:39:07,847 --> 00:39:10,982
But there's a problem with
disappearing into the work...
858
00:39:11,458 --> 00:39:13,329
You can't save every patient.
859
00:39:13,353 --> 00:39:15,531
It was Richard and Winston's idea.
860
00:39:15,555 --> 00:39:16,632
What?
861
00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:22,677
It's a good idea.
862
00:39:23,596 --> 00:39:25,808
And when I was checking Ellis' homework,
863
00:39:25,832 --> 00:39:28,410
she was actually doing pretty well.
864
00:39:28,434 --> 00:39:29,979
I'm scared.
865
00:39:30,003 --> 00:39:31,213
I don't know why.
866
00:39:31,237 --> 00:39:32,548
Me, too.
867
00:39:32,572 --> 00:39:34,917
I need this year to get better.
868
00:39:34,941 --> 00:39:36,952
Me, too.
869
00:39:40,213 --> 00:39:41,457
What happened? Is she okay?
870
00:39:41,481 --> 00:39:43,225
Yes. Yeah, she's the same.
871
00:39:43,249 --> 00:39:44,960
What?
872
00:39:44,984 --> 00:39:46,261
Why... Why'd you bring Zola?
873
00:39:46,285 --> 00:39:48,263
I couldn't think of a better idea.
874
00:39:48,287 --> 00:39:50,532
Oh, my God.
875
00:39:50,556 --> 00:39:51,567
I can't breathe.
876
00:39:54,527 --> 00:39:56,538
I'm so sorry. I-I should've told you.
877
00:39:56,562 --> 00:39:58,004
You were in surgery.
878
00:39:58,598 --> 00:39:59,575
I need her to live.
879
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,611
I need her to live.
880
00:40:06,439 --> 00:40:07,716
Oh, my God.
881
00:40:07,740 --> 00:40:08,917
Please, I need her to live.
882
00:40:08,941 --> 00:40:09,985
What? Did something happen? What?
883
00:40:10,009 --> 00:40:12,121
- Shh.
- Uh...
884
00:40:12,145 --> 00:40:13,622
All of it.
885
00:40:13,646 --> 00:40:15,341
Just all of it just...
886
00:40:16,683 --> 00:40:18,858
All of it happened.
887
00:40:19,552 --> 00:40:21,597
And if surgery is all you have,
888
00:40:21,621 --> 00:40:23,332
no matter how great you are,
889
00:40:23,356 --> 00:40:25,668
eventually,
you're going to disintegrate.
890
00:40:31,898 --> 00:40:33,409
It's not time yet.
891
00:40:35,468 --> 00:40:37,012
There's no pain here.
892
00:40:37,036 --> 00:40:38,347
Mm.
893
00:40:38,371 --> 00:40:40,371
You want to know a secret?
894
00:40:42,974 --> 00:40:45,320
I even miss the pain.
895
00:40:52,952 --> 00:40:54,519
You have to go.
896
00:40:56,756 --> 00:40:59,034
I'm so tired.
897
00:40:59,058 --> 00:41:00,769
It's not your time yet.
898
00:41:03,362 --> 00:41:04,873
Our kids need you.
899
00:41:07,900 --> 00:41:09,478
You have to go.
900
00:41:09,502 --> 00:41:12,347
Mom, Ellis keeps coming
into my bed at night,
901
00:41:12,371 --> 00:41:15,150
the way I would come into yours.
902
00:41:15,174 --> 00:41:17,686
At first, I thought it was annoying,
903
00:41:17,710 --> 00:41:22,024
but now, I tell her she can come
in my bed whenever she wants.
904
00:41:22,048 --> 00:41:25,828
And sometimes,
I let Bailey come in, too.
905
00:41:25,852 --> 00:41:28,764
But he sleeps on pillows on the floor,
906
00:41:28,788 --> 00:41:30,966
but I always cover him with a blanket.
907
00:41:32,692 --> 00:41:35,003
That's so nice of you, Zozo.
908
00:41:35,027 --> 00:41:36,538
Mommy!
909
00:41:39,899 --> 00:41:40,809
Hi.
910
00:41:53,321 --> 00:41:55,847
As nice as it is to lose
all your worries,
911
00:41:56,305 --> 00:41:57,825
you also lose the good.
912
00:41:58,986 --> 00:42:00,986
I love you so much, Mommy.
913
00:42:01,060 --> 00:42:03,060
We love you so much.
914
00:42:03,397 --> 00:42:05,397
We love you so much.
915
00:42:06,078 --> 00:42:08,078
You're awake.
916
00:42:12,705 --> 00:42:15,471
And if you hope to have any
kind of life worth living...
917
00:42:15,495 --> 00:42:18,536
We love you, Zozo.
918
00:42:18,697 --> 00:42:21,314
...you're definitely
going to need the good.
63261
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.