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[woman screaming]
'Arnold!'
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00:00:49,017 --> 00:00:52,019
[man commentating on radio]
5
00:00:57,021 --> 00:01:01,023
'Arnold!'
6
00:01:04,021 --> 00:01:07,009
[saxophone music]
7
00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:14,004
'Arnold!'
8
00:01:16,015 --> 00:01:18,008
'Arnold!'
9
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:21,004
[violin music]
10
00:01:23,010 --> 00:01:25,018
Arnold!
11
00:01:29,004 --> 00:01:30,007
Arnold.
12
00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:37,005
Arnold, lunch is on the table!
13
00:01:38,008 --> 00:01:40,023
Arnold!
14
00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:44,020
Where is that kid?
15
00:01:48,014 --> 00:01:49,013
Aah!
16
00:01:49,015 --> 00:01:51,004
[chuckling]
17
00:01:51,006 --> 00:01:55,003
Oh, Arnold, what are
you doing in..
18
00:02:08,018 --> 00:02:14,000
I think my biggest problem
is being young and beautiful.
19
00:02:15,023 --> 00:02:18,021
It's because I've never
been young and beautiful.
20
00:02:18,023 --> 00:02:21,015
Well, I've been beautiful.
God knows I've been young.
21
00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:23,016
But never the twain have met.
22
00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:25,021
Not so as anyone
would notice anyway.
23
00:02:25,023 --> 00:02:29,013
You know, a shrink acquaintance
of mine believes this
24
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:32,016
to be the root of my attraction
to a class of men
25
00:02:32,018 --> 00:02:35,012
most subtly described
as old and ugly.
26
00:02:35,014 --> 00:02:38,008
I think he's underestimating
my wheedles.
27
00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:42,003
See, a ugly person
28
00:02:42,005 --> 00:02:44,023
who goes after a pretty person
gets nothing, but trouble.
29
00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:48,022
But a pretty person
who goes after a ugly person
30
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,000
gets at least cab fare.
31
00:02:51,002 --> 00:02:53,018
Now, I ain't sayin' I never
fell for a pretty face.
32
00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:57,013
When les jeux sont faitsgive me
a toad with a pot of gold
33
00:02:57,015 --> 00:02:59,014
I'll give you three meals a day
34
00:02:59,016 --> 00:03:02,005
Ain't no toad when
the lights go down.
35
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:04,003
It's either feast or famine.
36
00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:06,017
It's the daylight you got
to watch out for.
37
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,000
Well, face it.
38
00:03:08,002 --> 00:03:11,015
A thing of beauty
is a joy till sunrise.
39
00:03:13,011 --> 00:03:15,014
Mm, mm.
40
00:03:15,016 --> 00:03:18,022
There's another group you gotta
watch your foot stamps around.
41
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,007
The hopeless.
42
00:03:20,009 --> 00:03:23,013
They break down
into three major categories.
43
00:03:23,015 --> 00:03:25,014
Married.
44
00:03:25,016 --> 00:03:27,017
Just in for the weekend.
45
00:03:29,017 --> 00:03:32,004
Terminally straight.
46
00:03:32,006 --> 00:03:35,001
Those affairs are the worst.
47
00:03:35,003 --> 00:03:37,009
You go into them
with your eyes open
48
00:03:37,011 --> 00:03:40,014
knowing all the limitations,
accepting them maturely.
49
00:03:40,016 --> 00:03:43,000
Then wham bam, you're writing
letters to dear Abby
50
00:03:43,002 --> 00:03:45,007
and you're burning black candles
at midnight.
51
00:03:45,009 --> 00:03:48,021
And you ask yourself,
"what happened?"
52
00:03:48,023 --> 00:03:50,023
I'm gonna tell you
what happened.
53
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:52,020
You got just what you wanted.
54
00:03:52,022 --> 00:03:54,019
The person who thinks
they're mature enough
55
00:03:54,021 --> 00:03:57,014
to handle an affair that's
hopeless from the beginning
56
00:03:57,016 --> 00:03:59,020
is the very same person
that keeps the publishers
57
00:03:59,022 --> 00:04:03,019
of gothic romances up to their
tragic endings in mink.
58
00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:09,003
What do you think?
Gorgeous, huh?
59
00:04:09,005 --> 00:04:12,015
Give me a break.
It's still under construction.
60
00:04:12,017 --> 00:04:16,002
For those of youse
what ain't yet guessed.
61
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:19,007
I am an entertainer.
62
00:04:20,023 --> 00:04:22,020
Or what's left of one.
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00:04:22,022 --> 00:04:25,012
I go by the name,
Virginia Hamm.
64
00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:27,013
Ain't that a kick
in the rubber parts?
65
00:04:27,015 --> 00:04:30,017
You should hear some
of my former handles.
66
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,022
Anita Mann.
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00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,000
Fonda Boys.
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00:04:36,002 --> 00:04:39,000
Claire Voyant.
69
00:04:39,002 --> 00:04:41,013
Fay Ways.
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00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:43,022
Bang-bang-la-desh.
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00:04:45,014 --> 00:04:46,022
Yeah.
72
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,017
I'm among the last
of a dying breed.
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00:04:49,019 --> 00:04:53,004
Once the E.R.A. and gay civil
rights bills have been passed
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00:04:53,006 --> 00:04:56,021
me and mine will find ourselves
swept under the carpets.
75
00:04:56,023 --> 00:05:00,002
Like the blacks done
to Amos, Andy, and Aunt Jemima.
76
00:05:00,004 --> 00:05:02,017
But that's alright.
77
00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:06,004
With voice and face like this
I got nothing to worry about.
78
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,022
I can always drive a cab.
79
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,020
There are easier things in this
life than being a drag queen.
80
00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:19,005
Tsk. But I ain't got no choice.
81
00:05:19,007 --> 00:05:21,019
See, umm..
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00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:24,021
Try as I may..
83
00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:26,022
...I just can't walk in flats.
84
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,019
Ha ha ha.
85
00:05:29,021 --> 00:05:33,001
You know, there was
one guy once
86
00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:34,023
his name was Charlie.
87
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:38,015
He was everything you could want
in an affair and more.
88
00:05:38,017 --> 00:05:41,003
Oh, he was tall.
89
00:05:41,005 --> 00:05:43,002
Handsome.
90
00:05:43,004 --> 00:05:44,022
Rich.
91
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,002
Deaf.
92
00:05:47,004 --> 00:05:49,013
The deafness was the more.
93
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:51,014
Well, he had never yelled at me.
94
00:05:51,016 --> 00:05:53,016
Never complained if I snored.
95
00:05:53,018 --> 00:05:56,009
All his friends
was nice and quiet.
96
00:05:56,011 --> 00:05:59,006
I-I even learned some
of that deaf sign language.
97
00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:01,009
Oh, I-I remember some.
98
00:06:05,002 --> 00:06:06,013
It's cockroach.
99
00:06:09,004 --> 00:06:11,018
Means fuck.
100
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:14,003
Oh, this here's
my favorite.
101
00:06:14,005 --> 00:06:16,008
Means I love you.
102
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,017
And I did too.
103
00:06:19,019 --> 00:06:22,000
But um..
104
00:06:22,002 --> 00:06:23,008
Not
105
00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:24,015
enough.
106
00:06:29,008 --> 00:06:33,001
You know...in my life
I've slept with more men
107
00:06:33,003 --> 00:06:35,012
than are named or numbered
in the bible.
108
00:06:35,014 --> 00:06:38,003
Old and new testaments
put together.
109
00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:43,010
But not once has someone said,
"Arnold...I love you."
110
00:06:44,009 --> 00:06:46,019
That I could believe.
111
00:06:46,021 --> 00:06:51,015
And I ask myself,
"do you really care?"
112
00:06:51,017 --> 00:06:54,021
You know, the only honest answer
I can give myself is
113
00:06:54,023 --> 00:06:58,011
"yes...I care"
114
00:07:00,011 --> 00:07:03,001
I care a great deal.
115
00:07:04,013 --> 00:07:05,023
Tsk, but
116
00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:07,016
not
117
00:07:07,018 --> 00:07:09,004
enough.
118
00:07:11,006 --> 00:07:14,000
♪ Who writes the words
and music ♪
119
00:07:14,002 --> 00:07:16,019
♪ For all the girlie shows ♪
120
00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:18,022
♪ No one cares ♪
121
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,004
♪ And no one knows ♪
122
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:24,020
♪ Who is the handsome hero ♪
123
00:07:24,022 --> 00:07:27,000
♪ Some villain always frames ♪
124
00:07:27,002 --> 00:07:30,000
♪ Hey who cares if there's
a plot or not ♪
125
00:07:30,002 --> 00:07:33,016
♪ When they got
a lot of dames ♪
126
00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:36,018
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to our stage
127
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:39,002
Bertha Venation!
Yay!
128
00:07:39,004 --> 00:07:41,020
♪ What do you go for ♪
129
00:07:41,022 --> 00:07:43,020
♪ Go see a show for ♪
130
00:07:43,022 --> 00:07:46,004
♪ Tell the truth
you go to see ♪
131
00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:49,009
♪ The beautiful dames ♪
132
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:52,020
And now, the Queen of
Delicatessen, Virginia Hamm!
133
00:07:52,022 --> 00:07:55,015
♪ You spend your dough for ♪
134
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:57,013
♪ Bouquets that grow for ♪
135
00:07:57,015 --> 00:07:59,009
♪ All the cute
and cunning ♪
136
00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:01,009
♪ Young and beautiful dames ♪
137
00:08:01,011 --> 00:08:03,010
(female #1)
And now, senores
and senoritas
138
00:08:03,012 --> 00:08:06,005
please welcome,
Marina del Rey!
139
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:11,016
♪ Dames are temporary
flames to you ♪
140
00:08:11,018 --> 00:08:15,016
♪ Dames you don't recall
their names ♪
141
00:08:15,018 --> 00:08:17,005
♪ Do you ♪
142
00:08:17,007 --> 00:08:21,016
And now, bigger than Broadway,
Marcia Dimes!
143
00:08:23,008 --> 00:08:25,022
♪ But their caresses ♪
144
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,019
♪ And home addresses ♪
145
00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:29,019
♪ Linger in your memory ♪
146
00:08:29,021 --> 00:08:31,005
♪ Of those beautiful ♪
147
00:08:31,007 --> 00:08:33,019
♪ In your memory
see those beautiful ♪
148
00:08:33,021 --> 00:08:35,005
♪ In your memory ♪
149
00:08:35,007 --> 00:08:38,010
♪ All those
beautiful dames ♪
150
00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:43,002
Ladies and gentlemen
151
00:08:43,004 --> 00:08:45,018
in order to be a real dame
152
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:48,006
you've got to kneel
before a queen.
153
00:08:48,008 --> 00:08:50,007
[audience laughing]
154
00:08:51,007 --> 00:08:54,001
♪ Ah ah ah ah ♪
155
00:08:54,003 --> 00:08:56,018
♪ What do you go for ♪
156
00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:59,014
♪ Go see a show for
tell the truth, honey ♪
157
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:02,021
♪ You know you go to see the
beautiful dames, darling ♪
158
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,011
♪ What else honey ♪
159
00:09:04,013 --> 00:09:06,020
Oh, Miss Dimes,
you're flawless.
160
00:09:06,022 --> 00:09:10,003
But ladies and gentlemen,
wait until you see my act
161
00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:15,002
Bertha Venation and her dance
of the virgin.
162
00:09:15,004 --> 00:09:17,019
Which she does
completely from memory.
163
00:09:17,021 --> 00:09:19,015
[audience laughing
and cheering]
164
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,006
Bitch.
165
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:24,007
Brrr!
166
00:09:24,009 --> 00:09:26,023
♪ You spend
your dough for ♪
167
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,023
♪ Bouquets that grow for ♪
168
00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:32,012
♪ All those cute and cunning
young and beautiful dames ♪
169
00:09:32,014 --> 00:09:34,020
Kiss her quick.
She's Carmen.
170
00:09:34,022 --> 00:09:36,019
♪ Dames, those gorgeous dames ♪
171
00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:40,008
♪ Are temporary flames to you ♪
172
00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:44,010
♪ Dames you don't recall
their names ♪
173
00:09:44,012 --> 00:09:46,000
♪ Do you ♪
174
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:49,020
♪ But their caresses
and home addresses ♪
175
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,020
More!
176
00:09:50,022 --> 00:09:52,016
♪ Linger in your memory ♪
177
00:09:52,018 --> 00:09:54,005
♪ Of those beautiful ♪
178
00:09:54,007 --> 00:09:57,002
♪ In your memory
of those beautiful ♪
179
00:09:57,004 --> 00:09:59,017
♪ In your memories
of those beautiful ♪
180
00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:03,020
♪ Dames, dames
dames, dames ♪
181
00:10:03,022 --> 00:10:06,016
♪ Slender or curvy ♪
182
00:10:06,018 --> 00:10:08,019
♪ Sweet, shy or nervy ♪
183
00:10:08,021 --> 00:10:12,020
♪ There is nothing
as divine and beautiful ♪
184
00:10:12,022 --> 00:10:15,020
♪ No sun can shine
like beautiful ♪
185
00:10:15,022 --> 00:10:20,008
♪ Bring on that line
of beautiful dames ♪
186
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,005
♪ Dames ♪
187
00:10:22,007 --> 00:10:24,020
♪ Give me a line
of beautiful ♪
188
00:10:24,022 --> 00:10:28,008
♪ D-a-m-e ♪
189
00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:30,009
♪ Dames ♪
190
00:10:30,011 --> 00:10:31,013
[audience cheering
and whistling]
191
00:10:31,015 --> 00:10:34,021
♪ I love a line
of beautiful ♪
192
00:10:34,023 --> 00:10:39,004
♪ Dames ♪
193
00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:44,008
- Roz, honey, you need a lift?
- Oh, that'd be great, thanks.
194
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:46,023
- Hey, you going straight home?
- No. Let's get a beer.
195
00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:49,002
- So, what's the dish?
- Men.
196
00:10:49,004 --> 00:10:51,013
My life's work.
What's the gripe?
197
00:10:51,015 --> 00:10:54,003
- I ain't got one.
- Who wants one?
198
00:10:54,005 --> 00:10:56,011
- I've got three.
- 'Find me out.'
199
00:10:56,013 --> 00:10:57,021
Good night, ladies.
200
00:10:57,023 --> 00:11:00,010
- Goodnight.
- Night, night dear.
201
00:11:00,012 --> 00:11:02,019
I swear that queen
gives me gas.
202
00:11:02,021 --> 00:11:05,014
Oh. Ha ha ha.
203
00:11:05,016 --> 00:11:08,018
Come on, let's go to the Stud,
I can use a nightcap.
204
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:11,002
And a quickie with some stranger
in the backroom.
205
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,002
- Count me out.
- It's very relaxing.
206
00:11:13,004 --> 00:11:15,001
You'll find this hard
to comprehend
207
00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:18,003
but I want more out of life
than meeting a pretty face.
208
00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:20,003
- And sitting down on it.
- Graphically put.
209
00:11:20,005 --> 00:11:23,009
Personally, I never enjoy sex
with someone I know.
210
00:11:23,011 --> 00:11:26,018
- A lady of high standards.
- Cab! Night, girls!
211
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,018
- Night, Bertha!
- Night, Bertha!
212
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:31,014
♪ A-a-h, hot pants ♪
213
00:11:31,016 --> 00:11:34,010
♪ Hah ♪
214
00:11:34,012 --> 00:11:36,018
♪ Oh, that's where it's at ♪
215
00:11:36,020 --> 00:11:39,014
♪ That's where it's at ♪
216
00:11:39,016 --> 00:11:41,006
♪ Hot pants ♪
217
00:11:41,008 --> 00:11:43,012
♪ Smokin' ♪
218
00:11:43,014 --> 00:11:45,017
♪ Hot pants ♪
219
00:11:45,019 --> 00:11:48,000
♪ Smokin' ♪
220
00:11:48,002 --> 00:11:50,011
♪ Take your fine self home ♪
221
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:52,015
♪ You look much better
with time ♪
222
00:11:52,017 --> 00:11:54,023
♪ My fever keeps growin' ♪
223
00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:57,015
♪ Girl, you blowin' my mind ♪
224
00:11:57,017 --> 00:12:01,023
♪ If you're thinkin' of losin'
that funky feeling, don't ♪
225
00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:04,007
♪ You got to use
what you got ♪
226
00:12:04,009 --> 00:12:06,009
♪ To get just what you want ♪
227
00:12:06,011 --> 00:12:08,010
♪ Hot pants ♪
228
00:12:08,012 --> 00:12:11,007
♪ Smokin' ♪
229
00:12:11,009 --> 00:12:14,014
[both laughing]
230
00:12:14,016 --> 00:12:17,008
Come with me.
I know what to do.
231
00:12:17,010 --> 00:12:20,023
♪ Make you sure of yourself.. ♪
232
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,013
[screaming]
233
00:12:23,015 --> 00:12:25,023
- Oh, my God!
- Fucking faggots!
234
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:27,012
[women screaming]
235
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:32,005
Piss off!
236
00:12:34,006 --> 00:12:37,016
I'm tired and I want to go home.
237
00:12:37,018 --> 00:12:40,019
- One drink, one look.
- I'm not goin' to the backroom.
238
00:12:40,021 --> 00:12:42,018
Who asked you to?
239
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:44,017
♪ Wake up Maggie ♪
240
00:12:44,019 --> 00:12:50,020
♪ I think I got
somethin' to say to you ♪
241
00:12:50,022 --> 00:12:52,006
♪ It's late September ♪
242
00:12:52,008 --> 00:12:55,020
♪ And I really should
be back in school ♪
243
00:12:55,022 --> 00:12:58,003
I think I feel
the call of the wild.
244
00:12:58,005 --> 00:13:03,006
Oh, don't leave me out here.
Oh, Murray, Murray, Murray!
245
00:13:05,002 --> 00:13:10,014
♪ Oh, Maggie, I couldn't
have tried anymore ♪
246
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:16,002
♪ You ran me away
from home ♪
247
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:19,009
♪ Just to save you
from being alone.. ♪
248
00:13:19,011 --> 00:13:21,000
Thank you.
249
00:13:21,002 --> 00:13:24,013
♪ You stole my heart,
and that's what really hurt ♪
250
00:13:24,015 --> 00:13:27,000
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
Are you okay?
251
00:13:27,002 --> 00:13:28,003
Fine.
252
00:13:28,005 --> 00:13:30,015
No permanent damage,
I hope...to your foot.
253
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:33,005
No. It's fine.
254
00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:34,021
Good.
255
00:14:06,022 --> 00:14:09,015
Excuse me. Do you have a li..
Great.
256
00:14:12,004 --> 00:14:15,008
Look, um, my name is Ed Reese.
257
00:14:15,010 --> 00:14:17,018
My friends call me Ed.
258
00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:20,014
I'm a Sagittarius.
259
00:14:20,016 --> 00:14:21,021
What's so funny?
260
00:14:21,023 --> 00:14:23,022
Some people like
to know that stuff.
261
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,014
I don't believe any
of it myself.
262
00:14:32,006 --> 00:14:35,003
You have a great smile.
What's your name?
263
00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:37,002
- Uh...Arnold.
- Arnold?
264
00:14:37,004 --> 00:14:39,017
What do your friends call you?
Arnie or Arn?
265
00:14:39,019 --> 00:14:40,022
Arnold.
266
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,012
Arnold.
Yeah.
267
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:47,011
Well, nice to meet you, Arnold.
268
00:14:47,013 --> 00:14:48,019
[clears throat]
269
00:14:51,003 --> 00:14:53,005
- Can I buy you a drink?
- I just..
270
00:14:53,007 --> 00:14:54,012
Oh.
271
00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:06,020
- So what are you? Italian?
- Uh, no.
272
00:15:06,022 --> 00:15:07,023
Spanish?
273
00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:09,022
Jewish.
274
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,017
Geez, uh, I mean I never
would have guessed.
275
00:15:13,019 --> 00:15:17,011
No, I mean, not with those
dark, romantic eyes.
276
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,023
- You wearing makeup?
- No.
277
00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:23,015
No, I mean, uh,
no, I didn't think so.
278
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,020
You, um, you here alone?
279
00:15:28,022 --> 00:15:32,007
No. I'm with a friend.
He's in the back.
280
00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:33,016
Oh.
281
00:15:35,022 --> 00:15:37,005
Is he your-your..
282
00:15:37,007 --> 00:15:40,001
Oh, no, no, no, just a friend.
Just a friend.
283
00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:41,019
Oh.
284
00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:46,000
Well..
285
00:15:46,002 --> 00:15:48,004
How lucky for me.
286
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:56,011
Well, I've got a car.
287
00:15:56,013 --> 00:15:59,014
If you're going to laugh
at everything I say
288
00:15:59,016 --> 00:16:02,008
we're never gonna
get to bed.
289
00:16:05,013 --> 00:16:08,002
You really do
have beautiful eyes.
290
00:16:08,004 --> 00:16:11,001
And you've got some routine.
291
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:29,001
Anyone ever tell you
you've got a very sexy voice?
292
00:16:29,003 --> 00:16:31,000
No, really. You do.
293
00:16:31,002 --> 00:16:33,013
Is that natural,
or do you have a cold?
294
00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:53,022
♪ Fate has the will
of a wisp crazy as a loon ♪
295
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,008
(Ed)
'I'd have asked you to my place,
but my roommate is straight
296
00:16:57,010 --> 00:17:00,004
'and he's not all that
comfortable with gays.'
297
00:17:00,006 --> 00:17:02,006
(Arnold)
'So where does that leave you?'
298
00:17:02,008 --> 00:17:05,003
(Ed)
'Oh, well, I date women too.'
299
00:17:05,005 --> 00:17:08,002
'I teach in Brooklyn,
I keep an apartment in the city
300
00:17:08,004 --> 00:17:10,002
'but I-I really live upstate.'
301
00:17:10,004 --> 00:17:13,023
'I've got a farm where I spend
weekends, summers.'
302
00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:16,017
'I grow all my own vegetables.'
303
00:17:16,019 --> 00:17:19,023
'You'd love the house, it's
a classic American saltbox.'
304
00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:22,018
'Lots of wood detail,
Franklin stove.'
305
00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:24,019
'I'm restoring it myself.'
306
00:17:24,021 --> 00:17:26,017
(Arnold)
'Sounds beautiful.'
307
00:17:34,005 --> 00:17:37,008
- So what do you do?
- I'm a female impersonator.
308
00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:38,014
[laughs]
309
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:41,012
No, you know,
I meant for a living.
310
00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:44,004
I'm a female impersonator.
311
00:17:44,006 --> 00:17:47,013
Does that bother you?
312
00:17:47,015 --> 00:17:49,006
Not yet.
313
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:15,021
- Oh, wait. I'll get a light.
- No, just..
314
00:18:18,011 --> 00:18:20,005
You're shaking.
315
00:18:20,007 --> 00:18:23,000
Am I? Sorry.
316
00:18:37,003 --> 00:18:38,011
Better?
317
00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:41,010
Mm-hmm.
318
00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:44,020
We're having an intimate dinner.
He's bringing the wine.
319
00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:47,021
Why didn't you tell me you were
going out? I'd have come.
320
00:18:47,023 --> 00:18:51,002
I better steal steaks from the
kitchen. Who has time to shop?
321
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:54,002
Have you registered
a pattern at Tiffany's?
322
00:18:54,004 --> 00:18:57,003
(female #1)
'Bertha Venetian!'
323
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:59,001
I wonder which
apartment we'll keep.
324
00:18:59,003 --> 00:19:02,014
We hardly need two with all the
time we'd spend at the farm.
325
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,021
The farm?
326
00:19:03,023 --> 00:19:06,002
Well, you can't bring
up children in the city.
327
00:19:06,004 --> 00:19:09,011
(female #1)
'Queen of the Delicatessen,
Virginia Hamm!'
328
00:19:20,009 --> 00:19:21,014
Mm!
329
00:20:03,014 --> 00:20:05,011
[alarm buzzing]
330
00:20:15,017 --> 00:20:18,007
Oh-h!
331
00:20:31,023 --> 00:20:33,009
Mm.
332
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:39,019
Happy two-week anniversary.
333
00:20:39,021 --> 00:20:43,004
Oh, Ed, you remembered!
334
00:20:44,011 --> 00:20:45,017
[both laughing]
335
00:20:45,019 --> 00:20:49,012
♪ You must remember this ♪
336
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:52,000
♪ A kiss is still a kiss ♪
337
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:57,014
♪ A sight is just a sight ♪
338
00:20:57,016 --> 00:21:00,008
♪ The fundamental things.. ♪
339
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:02,012
Thanks, Roz.
340
00:21:02,014 --> 00:21:04,006
♪ ...as time goes by ♪
341
00:21:04,008 --> 00:21:07,012
You oughta slap that girl
for stealing your material.
342
00:21:07,014 --> 00:21:10,007
- You're the torch singer.
- Who cares?
343
00:21:10,009 --> 00:21:13,005
I ain't singing anything bluer
than zip-a-dee-doo-dah.
344
00:21:13,007 --> 00:21:15,014
- When do I get to meet him?
- Soon.
345
00:21:15,016 --> 00:21:18,020
Have you met any of his
friends yet? Are they nice?
346
00:21:18,022 --> 00:21:22,002
We don't get it out much,
if you know what I mean.
347
00:21:22,004 --> 00:21:23,005
Shut up!
348
00:21:23,007 --> 00:21:26,005
♪ No matter what the future.. ♪
349
00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:41,001
♪ Wonderful ♪
350
00:21:41,003 --> 00:21:43,009
♪ Marvelous ♪
351
00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:46,005
Come on. Oh, watch
your head in there.
352
00:21:46,007 --> 00:21:49,013
And this first step
is a little broken.
353
00:21:49,015 --> 00:21:53,010
♪ It's awful nice,
it's paradise ♪
354
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:54,009
[crash]
355
00:21:54,011 --> 00:21:56,009
Um, we got to work on that.
356
00:22:00,016 --> 00:22:04,018
♪ You've made my life
so glamorous ♪
357
00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:06,019
Good morning.
358
00:22:06,021 --> 00:22:12,002
♪ You can't blame me
for feeling amorous ♪
359
00:22:12,004 --> 00:22:14,022
♪ Oh, it's wonderful ♪
360
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:17,023
♪ It's marvelous ♪
361
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,007
Alright. Alright.
362
00:22:19,009 --> 00:22:22,017
♪ That you should
care for me ♪
363
00:22:40,009 --> 00:22:41,020
Argh!
364
00:22:41,022 --> 00:22:43,022
Whoosh!
365
00:23:09,010 --> 00:23:11,009
♪ It's wonderful ♪
366
00:23:11,011 --> 00:23:12,009
[snoring]
367
00:23:12,011 --> 00:23:14,019
♪ It's marvelous ♪
368
00:23:14,021 --> 00:23:20,019
♪ That you should care,
that you should care for me ♪
369
00:23:20,021 --> 00:23:24,004
♪ It's awful nice.. ♪
370
00:23:24,006 --> 00:23:26,003
I'll drop you off at your place.
371
00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:28,004
I'm seeing Tom
and Janet for dinner.
372
00:23:28,006 --> 00:23:30,003
You didn't tell
me they called.
373
00:23:30,005 --> 00:23:32,003
I forgot. Anyway,
I got to see them.
374
00:23:32,005 --> 00:23:34,020
I've given them
every excuse in the book.
375
00:23:34,022 --> 00:23:36,019
And you're seeing Lisa
and Michael tomorrow night?
376
00:23:36,021 --> 00:23:41,001
They wanted to play bridge. Got
a friend in from out of town.
377
00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:43,010
I'll go as your friend
from out of town.
378
00:23:43,012 --> 00:23:46,011
- Arnold.
- Only joking.
379
00:23:46,013 --> 00:23:49,013
So I guess I'm not gonna see
you again until the weekend.
380
00:23:49,015 --> 00:23:52,003
My parents have the farm.
I told you that.
381
00:23:52,005 --> 00:23:54,017
So hide out
at my place.
382
00:23:54,019 --> 00:23:57,004
I've got to see
my folks, Arnold.
383
00:24:01,021 --> 00:24:03,016
[doorbell rings]
384
00:24:06,018 --> 00:24:10,019
Ed, why didn't you call first?
I was worried.
385
00:24:10,021 --> 00:24:12,021
'Oh! Hi, mom.'
386
00:24:12,023 --> 00:24:16,008
(ma)
'Happy Birthday, shayna tateleh.
Happy Birthday, shayna punim'
387
00:24:16,010 --> 00:24:19,016
'I can only stay a minute.
The girls are in the car.'
388
00:24:19,018 --> 00:24:22,001
Charlotte got tickets to some
off-off Broadway theater.
389
00:24:22,003 --> 00:24:24,022
It's experimental.
They keep their clothes on.
390
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,018
Your father will call
after his mason's meeting.
391
00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:30,000
Your brother,
he'll call when he calls.
392
00:24:30,002 --> 00:24:33,013
I ask him a question, he yells.
So I don't ask.
393
00:24:33,015 --> 00:24:35,009
Are you redecorating?
394
00:24:35,011 --> 00:24:37,009
It's easier
than cleaning.
395
00:24:37,011 --> 00:24:40,001
Don't be so funny.
396
00:24:40,003 --> 00:24:41,022
You don't get
much light here.
397
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,002
I get what you call
indirect semi shade.
398
00:24:45,004 --> 00:24:47,005
Yeah, it's good
for the plants.
399
00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:49,014
So is manure.
400
00:24:49,016 --> 00:24:51,019
Don't shake.
It's cookies.
401
00:24:51,021 --> 00:24:54,018
Ooh! Fancy, fancy.
New tablecloth.
402
00:24:54,020 --> 00:24:57,006
I made it myself.
Took a class.
403
00:24:57,008 --> 00:24:58,014
I'm tellin' you.
404
00:24:58,016 --> 00:25:01,007
I'm going to make napkins
to match. You like it?
405
00:25:01,009 --> 00:25:03,023
- Nice.
- It's a pretty pattern.
406
00:25:04,001 --> 00:25:06,016
Very nice.
407
00:25:06,018 --> 00:25:08,002
[horn honks]
408
00:25:08,004 --> 00:25:11,008
- Mama, the ladies!
- Are you making potato soup?
409
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:13,006
Ma, don't.
You'll burn yourself!
410
00:25:13,008 --> 00:25:16,016
But not like the potato soup
I make for your father.
411
00:25:16,018 --> 00:25:19,018
For him, I boil the potato,
throw in salt and pepper.
412
00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:23,008
- That's potato soup.
- Ma, what are you doing?
413
00:25:23,010 --> 00:25:24,022
[horn honking]
414
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,007
I'm coming already!
Why don't you come with us?
415
00:25:28,009 --> 00:25:31,013
Leave a note for your friend.
We'll come back here for cake.
416
00:25:31,015 --> 00:25:36,005
You just go, have a good time.
And give my love to the ladies.
417
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,019
Many happy returns, tateleh.
418
00:25:41,021 --> 00:25:44,015
Thanks, Ma.
419
00:25:44,017 --> 00:25:47,021
While you're redecorating,
how about this wallpaper?
420
00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:29,007
[door bell buzzing]
421
00:26:29,009 --> 00:26:30,020
Yeah, I'll be right there.
422
00:26:30,022 --> 00:26:32,008
♪ Now it seems ♪
423
00:26:32,010 --> 00:26:35,005
♪ This is how the story ends ♪
424
00:26:35,007 --> 00:26:36,012
[doorbell buzzing]
425
00:26:36,014 --> 00:26:42,007
Yeah, one minute.
Just a second, um..
426
00:26:42,009 --> 00:26:45,012
♪ I thought for once,
it couldn't go wrong ♪
427
00:26:45,014 --> 00:26:47,000
Hi!
428
00:26:47,002 --> 00:26:48,023
Oh, hi.
429
00:26:49,001 --> 00:26:51,012
Was that you
on the phone before?
430
00:26:51,014 --> 00:26:53,019
My phone was ringing
and I picked it up
431
00:26:53,021 --> 00:26:56,010
just in time to hear
whoever it was hang up.
432
00:26:56,012 --> 00:26:58,008
So I was gonna call you back.
433
00:26:58,010 --> 00:27:01,011
But I figured why call
when I can come over?
434
00:27:01,013 --> 00:27:03,009
- It wasn't me.
- Oh.
435
00:27:03,011 --> 00:27:06,004
Look Arnold, this isn't
a great time to talk.
436
00:27:06,006 --> 00:27:09,006
I shouldn't count on that wine
being my birthday surprise, huh?
437
00:27:09,008 --> 00:27:11,008
- Your birthday!
- You remembered.
438
00:27:11,010 --> 00:27:13,005
Oh, God! Arnold, I'm sorry.
439
00:27:13,007 --> 00:27:15,016
What's the difference?
We're together now, right?
440
00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:19,012
Well..
441
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,022
I've got somebody
coming over for dinner.
442
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,009
That's alright, I just want
to see you for a minute.
443
00:27:28,011 --> 00:27:32,004
- I understand.
- What do you understand?
444
00:27:32,006 --> 00:27:34,022
You never give me a chance
to make the first move.
445
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,009
Every time I'm about to call
you, there you are calling me.
446
00:27:38,011 --> 00:27:42,001
ESP maybe.
447
00:27:42,003 --> 00:27:45,012
So who you got coming over?
Do I know him?
448
00:27:45,014 --> 00:27:46,021
No.
449
00:27:46,023 --> 00:27:50,014
How do you know? Maybe I do.
I know lots of hims.
450
00:27:50,016 --> 00:27:52,022
Battle Hymn of the republic,
Rock of Ages--
451
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,000
You're impossible,
you know that?
452
00:27:55,002 --> 00:27:56,022
What's wrong with us, Ed?
453
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,022
- Not now, Arnold.
- Yes, now.
454
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,004
You can't expect me
to wait until you call.
455
00:28:01,006 --> 00:28:04,009
I never asked you to, I told you
to meet other people.
456
00:28:04,011 --> 00:28:06,007
I can't. I'm not built that way.
457
00:28:06,009 --> 00:28:08,006
I'm just not ready
to make that commitment.
458
00:28:08,008 --> 00:28:12,001
I'm not asking you to, but if
I've to accept you going out
459
00:28:12,003 --> 00:28:14,011
then you have
to accept that I'm not.
460
00:28:16,002 --> 00:28:18,006
You really are crazy.
461
00:28:20,022 --> 00:28:23,018
I miss you.
462
00:28:23,020 --> 00:28:28,015
I think about you all the time.
I'm so damn horny.
463
00:28:28,017 --> 00:28:30,015
You've no right
to make me feel guilty.
464
00:28:30,017 --> 00:28:33,013
I'm in love with you,
that must give me some rights.
465
00:28:33,015 --> 00:28:36,007
If I can't see you,
I can bitch about it
466
00:28:36,009 --> 00:28:38,015
[doorbell buzzing]
467
00:28:44,021 --> 00:28:46,012
Arnold.
468
00:28:48,005 --> 00:28:50,009
Please.
469
00:28:53,001 --> 00:28:54,004
Hello.
470
00:28:54,006 --> 00:28:56,011
Hi, Laurel.
471
00:28:56,013 --> 00:28:58,006
This is Arnold.
472
00:28:58,008 --> 00:29:02,004
Of course! Ed's talked about
you. Glad to finally meet you.
473
00:29:02,006 --> 00:29:05,019
He's told me all about you too.
I'm sorry, I've got to run now.
474
00:29:05,021 --> 00:29:09,007
Allergies. I-I ought
to have my head examined.
475
00:29:09,009 --> 00:29:10,020
Um, just..
476
00:29:10,022 --> 00:29:13,021
Arnold, Arnold, Arnold.
477
00:29:13,023 --> 00:29:16,015
Don't pretend I never told about
my relationships with women.
478
00:29:16,017 --> 00:29:19,004
I thought you meant like
sisters and aunts and nieces.
479
00:29:19,006 --> 00:29:22,022
- That's not funny.
- I think it's hysterical.
480
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,007
(Ed)
'You're really dragging me
over the coals.'
481
00:29:25,009 --> 00:29:29,003
Why should I be the only one
here with a barbecued ass?
482
00:29:29,005 --> 00:29:30,004
Arnold.
483
00:29:30,006 --> 00:29:33,001
Arnold, look, I'm not like you.
484
00:29:33,003 --> 00:29:35,015
Being gay is what you are,
it's what you like.
485
00:29:35,017 --> 00:29:37,013
It's what you're
comfortable with.
486
00:29:37,015 --> 00:29:41,004
I want more, I can't be happy
living in a ghetto of gay bars.
487
00:29:41,006 --> 00:29:44,008
- We've never done that.
- I need to be proud of who I'm.
488
00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:46,016
How can sleeping
with a woman make you proud
489
00:29:46,018 --> 00:29:48,021
if you know you'd rather
be with a man?
490
00:29:48,023 --> 00:29:51,019
How will you get any respect
if you're not yourself?
491
00:29:51,021 --> 00:29:53,020
'There's no you to respect!'
492
00:29:53,022 --> 00:29:56,011
Where is your self-respect?
I don't see any here.
493
00:29:56,013 --> 00:30:01,000
You want to see my self-respect?
Here, here's my self-respect.
494
00:30:03,004 --> 00:30:06,004
♪ But not for me ♪
495
00:30:06,006 --> 00:30:09,020
♪ The lucky stars above ♪
496
00:30:09,022 --> 00:30:13,002
♪ But not for me ♪
497
00:30:13,004 --> 00:30:14,018
♪ With love
to lead.. ♪
498
00:30:14,020 --> 00:30:16,001
Hi.
499
00:30:18,007 --> 00:30:20,013
Can I buy
you a drink?
500
00:30:20,015 --> 00:30:22,010
Oh, fuck off!
501
00:30:27,011 --> 00:30:30,021
♪ I was a fool to fall ♪
502
00:30:30,023 --> 00:30:33,018
♪ And get that way.. ♪
503
00:30:43,015 --> 00:30:45,002
Oh, I'm sorry.
504
00:30:50,007 --> 00:30:52,011
Excuse Me.
Pardon Me.
505
00:30:52,013 --> 00:30:54,004
Sorry.
506
00:30:58,013 --> 00:31:01,020
Hi, my name's Arnold.
507
00:31:01,022 --> 00:31:04,005
It's my fault,
I'm sure.
508
00:31:14,012 --> 00:31:16,006
Oh, my God.
509
00:31:16,008 --> 00:31:17,019
[unzips zipper]
510
00:31:17,021 --> 00:31:21,022
What am I gonna do
with the beer can?
511
00:31:25,002 --> 00:31:28,003
[rock music]
512
00:31:37,002 --> 00:31:41,013
Well, at least I don't have
to cook him breakfast.
513
00:31:41,015 --> 00:31:44,009
(male #1)
'With all the promotions,
mine can't be far.'
514
00:31:44,011 --> 00:31:47,005
(ma)
'Promotions are fine,
but how about a nice girl?'
515
00:31:47,007 --> 00:31:50,006
Leave the boy alone. He'll find
one when he's ready.
516
00:31:50,008 --> 00:31:52,020
- They don't come every day.
- You tell 'em.
517
00:31:52,022 --> 00:31:56,015
You boys gotta admit, I picked
a beautiful girl as your mother.
518
00:31:56,017 --> 00:31:58,001
You tell 'em.
519
00:31:58,003 --> 00:31:59,015
- You want some rice pudding?
- No.
520
00:31:59,017 --> 00:32:02,000
I made Jell-O, but if you want
nice pudding..
521
00:32:02,002 --> 00:32:03,013
- No, Ma.
- Nothing for me, Ma.
522
00:32:03,015 --> 00:32:05,014
- Piece of cake?
- I'm full.
523
00:32:05,016 --> 00:32:08,004
So what's
with you, Arnold?
524
00:32:08,006 --> 00:32:12,019
Not much. I'm not
seeing Ed anymore.
525
00:32:12,021 --> 00:32:15,016
- I meant work.
- You call that work?
526
00:32:15,018 --> 00:32:17,016
Betty, the boy has
to find himself.
527
00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:20,009
So let him find himself,
I'm not saying anything.
528
00:32:20,011 --> 00:32:23,021
- I'd love some cheesecake.
- Go to Junior's.
529
00:32:23,023 --> 00:32:26,020
So you can use
a couple of bucks, Arnold?
530
00:32:26,022 --> 00:32:28,005
'I'm fine, Dad.'
531
00:32:28,007 --> 00:32:30,016
Take it, a loan.
Until you're on your feet.
532
00:32:30,018 --> 00:32:33,020
- I'm on my feet, Daddy.
- Yeah, in six-inch heels.
533
00:32:33,022 --> 00:32:37,004
- Some big shot.
- Excuse me.
534
00:32:43,004 --> 00:32:45,005
[door opens]
535
00:32:47,011 --> 00:32:50,013
[soft piano music]
536
00:32:54,007 --> 00:32:57,009
They don't mean
anything, you know?
537
00:32:57,011 --> 00:33:00,010
Then, why embarrass me
like that?
538
00:33:00,012 --> 00:33:03,001
I make more
than daddy does.
539
00:33:05,006 --> 00:33:07,019
They have trouble
understanding, that's all.
540
00:33:10,003 --> 00:33:12,023
There isn't anything
they wouldn't do for you.
541
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,002
Don't be mad at them.
542
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,002
I'm not mad.
I'm jealous.
543
00:33:23,014 --> 00:33:26,002
You realize in all the years
that they've been married
544
00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:28,010
the only time they
were ever separated
545
00:33:28,012 --> 00:33:32,006
was when ma went into the
hospital for that operation.
546
00:33:33,007 --> 00:33:35,010
And what did daddy do?
547
00:33:35,012 --> 00:33:38,000
He slept on a chair
in the living room.
548
00:33:38,002 --> 00:33:40,022
He wouldn't even get
into bed without her.
549
00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:46,005
And the way they always
made us feel
550
00:33:46,007 --> 00:33:49,005
like we were the two
most important
551
00:33:49,007 --> 00:33:54,002
smartest, most talented,
handsomest..
552
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,013
And it kills me
to think..
553
00:34:01,022 --> 00:34:06,013
...that they look at me
and wonder what they did wrong.
554
00:34:09,002 --> 00:34:12,004
[music continues]
555
00:34:14,002 --> 00:34:15,004
[exhales]
556
00:34:16,022 --> 00:34:21,004
All I know is in all my born
days and there've been plenty
557
00:34:21,006 --> 00:34:23,004
I never met
a real bisexual.
558
00:34:23,006 --> 00:34:26,013
- Not in front of you-know-who?
- It's alright. Not listening.
559
00:34:26,015 --> 00:34:29,011
Just once I'd like
to see a bisexual that lived
560
00:34:29,013 --> 00:34:32,019
with his boyfriend and then
snuck out to see his girlfriend
561
00:34:32,021 --> 00:34:34,019
on the sly.
562
00:34:34,021 --> 00:34:37,003
[knock on the door]
563
00:34:37,005 --> 00:34:39,010
Is Arnold Beckoff..
564
00:34:44,021 --> 00:34:46,020
You wanna
give 'em room?
565
00:34:46,022 --> 00:34:48,001
[speaking in foreign language]
566
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:51,001
Alright. Come on.
567
00:34:56,022 --> 00:35:00,006
Bet you never thought
you'd see me again, huh?
568
00:35:00,008 --> 00:35:01,020
Hi.
569
00:35:04,014 --> 00:35:07,003
You look terrific.
570
00:35:07,005 --> 00:35:09,014
Really.
571
00:35:09,016 --> 00:35:13,006
You've lost a little weight
I see. I'm sorry.
572
00:35:19,005 --> 00:35:22,019
I guess you're still
pretty angry, huh?
573
00:35:22,021 --> 00:35:26,011
No, I'm not still angry.
This here's brand new.
574
00:35:26,013 --> 00:35:30,000
- What are you doin' here?
- I just wanted to talk.
575
00:35:30,002 --> 00:35:33,005
Five months ago you checked
out on me and the one thing
576
00:35:33,007 --> 00:35:35,017
I can say is that
when you left, you left.
577
00:35:35,019 --> 00:35:37,018
'No matter what I thought
of your reasons--'
578
00:35:37,020 --> 00:35:40,019
I told you that I wanted us
to be friends.
579
00:35:40,021 --> 00:35:42,023
'You mean a lot to me.'
580
00:35:46,006 --> 00:35:48,013
Don't get cute
with me, huh?
581
00:35:54,023 --> 00:35:58,001
Maybe I shouldn't have come,
but as long as the harm's done
582
00:35:58,003 --> 00:36:00,012
can't I just talk
to you for a while?
583
00:36:00,014 --> 00:36:03,018
I mean just, no, just
until you're finished.
584
00:36:05,017 --> 00:36:08,000
'It's important to me.'
585
00:36:12,014 --> 00:36:14,015
Just sit down.
586
00:36:31,017 --> 00:36:34,009
So how's your sex life?
587
00:36:34,011 --> 00:36:37,001
It's great.
588
00:36:37,003 --> 00:36:39,016
As good as with me?
589
00:36:39,018 --> 00:36:44,001
Arnold, I'm, I'm not so sure
that the sex we had was always
590
00:36:44,003 --> 00:36:46,006
as good for me
as it was for you.
591
00:36:46,008 --> 00:36:49,023
Sometimes you got a little wild,
little too out of control.
592
00:36:53,020 --> 00:36:55,010
And that's bad?
593
00:36:55,012 --> 00:36:58,013
Well, it's not what I want.
594
00:36:58,015 --> 00:37:00,013
It's funny.
595
00:37:00,015 --> 00:37:03,005
That's what I pray for.
596
00:37:05,005 --> 00:37:08,007
I thought about you
a lot this summer.
597
00:37:08,009 --> 00:37:10,014
A couple of times,
I almost called you.
598
00:37:10,016 --> 00:37:13,008
I even picked up
the phone once.
599
00:37:13,010 --> 00:37:15,019
Yeah, so
what happened?
600
00:37:16,023 --> 00:37:19,017
Well, I couldn't.
601
00:37:21,004 --> 00:37:23,010
I love her, Arnold.
602
00:37:28,023 --> 00:37:31,003
Oh, um, I had
a dream last night
603
00:37:31,005 --> 00:37:33,018
that I want
to tell you about.
604
00:37:33,020 --> 00:37:37,016
I mean, you like
that sort of stuff.
605
00:37:37,018 --> 00:37:39,010
Anyway, um, I was..
606
00:37:39,012 --> 00:37:41,012
I dreamt I was
at my parent's house
607
00:37:41,014 --> 00:37:46,016
and I got a rag
and I soaked it in turpentine
608
00:37:46,018 --> 00:37:49,000
put it inside
a plastic bag
609
00:37:49,002 --> 00:37:51,011
and put the bag
over my head.
610
00:37:53,011 --> 00:37:54,015
And um..
611
00:37:54,017 --> 00:37:57,005
Anyway, the phone
woke me in the morning.
612
00:37:57,007 --> 00:38:00,003
It was Laurel and I couldn't
understand what she was saying.
613
00:38:00,005 --> 00:38:02,016
You know, half of me's trying
to listen to her.
614
00:38:02,018 --> 00:38:05,019
The other half's trying
to figure out this dream.
615
00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:08,013
I felt dizzy,
so I-I went back to bed
616
00:38:08,015 --> 00:38:11,012
and there on the pillow is..
617
00:38:13,007 --> 00:38:18,001
You know, the-the plastic bag
with the turpentine-soaked rag.
618
00:38:18,003 --> 00:38:19,004
Um..
619
00:38:20,023 --> 00:38:22,020
I couldn't tell any..
620
00:38:22,022 --> 00:38:25,015
You know, anybody about it.
621
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,015
I'm..
622
00:38:30,009 --> 00:38:32,010
...a little scared.
623
00:38:42,010 --> 00:38:46,010
So what, do you got
your car with you?
624
00:38:46,012 --> 00:38:49,008
Yeah, um, do you want me
to drive you home?
625
00:38:49,010 --> 00:38:53,021
Um, why don't you get the car
and I'll meet you out front?
626
00:38:53,023 --> 00:38:54,023
Oh.
627
00:38:59,010 --> 00:39:00,021
[door closes]
628
00:39:13,010 --> 00:39:16,013
So what now, huh?
629
00:39:16,015 --> 00:39:19,015
Look, if I take him back now,
knowing all I do
630
00:39:19,017 --> 00:39:21,014
maybe I can
make it work
631
00:39:21,016 --> 00:39:24,011
With a little
understanding.
632
00:39:24,013 --> 00:39:28,005
Maybe a shrink.
633
00:39:28,007 --> 00:39:30,012
I could just let him
drive me home
634
00:39:30,014 --> 00:39:33,000
And then I could say
something like, uh
635
00:39:33,002 --> 00:39:36,018
"the next time you feel you have
to say I love you to someone"
636
00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:40,016
"say it to yourself
and see if you believe it."
637
00:39:40,018 --> 00:39:43,003
That would go over his head.
638
00:39:43,005 --> 00:39:46,003
I think it went over mine.
639
00:39:47,021 --> 00:39:51,009
I could just sneak out the back,
leave him waitin' in the cold.
640
00:39:51,011 --> 00:39:53,005
'Cause if I start in again
641
00:39:53,007 --> 00:39:57,004
who's to say he's not gonna
keep this shit up, right?
642
00:39:58,012 --> 00:40:00,019
I don't know.
643
00:40:02,015 --> 00:40:06,000
Maybe it's what I want.
644
00:40:06,002 --> 00:40:09,003
Maybe he's treating me
just the way I want him to.
645
00:40:09,005 --> 00:40:13,023
I mean what if it's me
using him to give me that
646
00:40:14,001 --> 00:40:18,009
tragic torch singer status
I admire so in others?
647
00:40:18,011 --> 00:40:21,006
Wouldn't that be a kick
in the rubber parts?
648
00:40:27,019 --> 00:40:29,020
I love him.
649
00:40:31,014 --> 00:40:33,023
What are you gonna do?
650
00:40:35,019 --> 00:40:38,010
But do I love him enough?
651
00:40:43,022 --> 00:40:45,023
What is enough?
652
00:40:51,003 --> 00:40:53,004
This is enough.
653
00:41:00,017 --> 00:41:02,018
Enough.
654
00:41:13,023 --> 00:41:15,006
[indistinct chattering]
655
00:41:22,007 --> 00:41:25,013
♪ D-A-M-E ♪
656
00:41:25,015 --> 00:41:27,011
♪ DAME ♪
657
00:41:27,013 --> 00:41:28,017
[audience cheering]
658
00:41:28,019 --> 00:41:32,001
♪ I love a line of beautiful ♪
659
00:41:32,003 --> 00:41:36,021
♪ Dames ♪
660
00:41:50,001 --> 00:41:52,019
Oh, weren't they
wonderful, boys and girls?
661
00:41:52,021 --> 00:41:54,003
(all)
Yeah!
662
00:41:54,005 --> 00:41:58,014
Especially, the boys.
Ow-w-w!
663
00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:03,002
Ow ow ow, the last time
I saw a basket like that
664
00:42:03,004 --> 00:42:05,014
it was around
Red Riding Hood's arm.
665
00:42:05,016 --> 00:42:07,013
[audience laughing]
666
00:42:07,015 --> 00:42:09,008
One more time.
667
00:42:09,010 --> 00:42:10,016
Oh.
668
00:42:10,018 --> 00:42:14,006
I'll see you around
and I'll see you around.
669
00:42:14,008 --> 00:42:16,020
- And I'll see you around--
- Hey, where's Bette?
670
00:42:16,022 --> 00:42:18,009
- Bette?
- 'Yeah.'
671
00:42:18,011 --> 00:42:20,020
Darling, I don't do Bette
without a c-cigarette.
672
00:42:20,022 --> 00:42:22,009
- 'Over here.'
- Oh.
673
00:42:22,011 --> 00:42:26,006
You mean Bette
as Baby Jane Hudson?
674
00:42:26,008 --> 00:42:28,007
(all)
Yay!
675
00:42:32,004 --> 00:42:34,018
[mimicking Bette Davis]
Blanche.
676
00:42:34,020 --> 00:42:37,015
You didn't eat
your din-din.
677
00:42:37,017 --> 00:42:42,016
So someone else is gonna
eat your Christmas puddin'.
678
00:42:42,018 --> 00:42:45,004
Who's gonna eat
my Christmas balls?
679
00:42:45,006 --> 00:42:46,015
How rude?
680
00:42:46,017 --> 00:42:49,013
You have a high voice
for a lesbian.
681
00:42:49,015 --> 00:42:52,003
'And now ladies and gentlemen,
it gives me great pleasure'
682
00:42:52,005 --> 00:42:55,006
to bring you the favorite
of all of us as I present
683
00:42:55,008 --> 00:42:57,015
the supreme artiste
of the song--
684
00:42:57,017 --> 00:43:00,014
Fuck the artiste!
Bring on the freaks!
685
00:43:00,016 --> 00:43:04,008
Did your mother
have any children that lived?
686
00:43:04,010 --> 00:43:05,020
Thank you, darling.
687
00:43:05,022 --> 00:43:11,005
And now ladies and gentlemen
and nasty little boys
688
00:43:11,007 --> 00:43:14,010
I want to present
the queen of the torch song
689
00:43:14,012 --> 00:43:17,015
our very own
Virginia Hamm.
690
00:43:17,017 --> 00:43:20,016
[audience cheering
and applauding]
691
00:43:26,014 --> 00:43:30,013
♪ When the only sound
on the empty street ♪
692
00:43:30,015 --> 00:43:32,011
♪ Is the heavy tread ♪
693
00:43:32,013 --> 00:43:34,016
♪ Of the heavy feet ♪
694
00:43:34,018 --> 00:43:38,015
♪ That belong
to a lonesome cop ♪
695
00:43:38,017 --> 00:43:41,016
♪ I ♪
696
00:43:42,020 --> 00:43:47,019
♪ Open shop ♪
697
00:43:47,021 --> 00:43:50,001
♪ When the moon ♪
698
00:43:50,003 --> 00:43:51,017
♪ So long ♪
699
00:43:51,019 --> 00:43:54,001
♪ Has been gazing down ♪
700
00:43:54,003 --> 00:43:58,016
♪ On the wayward ways
of this wayward town ♪
701
00:43:58,018 --> 00:44:02,022
♪ That a smile
becomes a smirk ♪
702
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,018
♪ I ♪
703
00:44:05,020 --> 00:44:07,011
[audience applauding]
704
00:44:07,013 --> 00:44:09,015
[speaking indistinctly]
705
00:44:10,011 --> 00:44:13,002
♪ Go to work ♪
706
00:44:14,008 --> 00:44:16,021
♪ Love ♪
707
00:44:16,023 --> 00:44:19,001
♪ For sale ♪
708
00:44:20,009 --> 00:44:26,003
♪ Appetizin' young love
for sale ♪
709
00:44:26,005 --> 00:44:29,005
♪ Love that's fresh
and still unspoiled ♪
710
00:44:29,007 --> 00:44:32,014
♪ Love that's only
slightly soiled ♪
711
00:44:32,016 --> 00:44:38,004
♪ Love for sale
tell me who ♪
712
00:44:38,006 --> 00:44:40,023
These for real, huh?
Huh, baby?
713
00:44:41,001 --> 00:44:43,018
♪ Will buy ♪
714
00:44:43,020 --> 00:44:49,011
♪ Who would like
to sample my supply ♪
715
00:44:49,013 --> 00:44:52,012
♪ Who's prepared
to pay the price ♪
716
00:44:52,014 --> 00:44:56,001
♪ For a trip to paradise ♪
717
00:44:56,003 --> 00:44:59,001
♪ Love for sale ♪
718
00:44:59,003 --> 00:45:00,018
Looks like
a boiled ham to me.
719
00:45:00,020 --> 00:45:02,021
♪ Let the poet's
pipe of love.. ♪
720
00:45:02,023 --> 00:45:04,022
Baby, show us
your dick.
721
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,011
'Come on. Pull it out.'
722
00:45:07,013 --> 00:45:09,018
'Come on. Pull it out.
What's the matter?'
723
00:45:09,020 --> 00:45:13,001
Ain't you got one,
Huh? Huh? Pull it out.
724
00:45:13,003 --> 00:45:15,002
'Come on, whip it out.'
725
00:45:15,004 --> 00:45:17,015
Hey, sit on this.
726
00:45:18,021 --> 00:45:20,004
[audience clamoring]
727
00:45:20,006 --> 00:45:22,017
Won't you boys,
show some respect, huh?
728
00:45:22,019 --> 00:45:25,023
Maybe you'd like me to carve
a reminder on your pretty face.
729
00:45:26,001 --> 00:45:28,007
(Arnold)
'Gregory.'
730
00:45:28,009 --> 00:45:29,014
Please.
731
00:45:37,001 --> 00:45:39,007
I wasn't gonna
hurt him anyway.
732
00:45:39,009 --> 00:45:42,015
Just wanted to teach him
a manner or two.
733
00:45:42,017 --> 00:45:45,000
You alright, kid?
734
00:45:47,010 --> 00:45:48,023
Roz.
735
00:45:49,001 --> 00:45:51,003
Put it in
my dressing room.
736
00:45:51,005 --> 00:45:53,020
Peter, 1, 2..
737
00:45:53,022 --> 00:45:57,013
♪ Love for sale.. ♪
738
00:45:57,015 --> 00:45:59,004
[audience applauding]
739
00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:01,015
- I see you're alright.
- I'm alright.
740
00:46:01,017 --> 00:46:03,016
- Reach the door.
- Okay, careful with him.
741
00:46:03,018 --> 00:46:07,007
- He's a person.
- I used to be a person.
742
00:46:07,009 --> 00:46:10,009
- Alright, straight in the back.
- It figures.
743
00:46:11,020 --> 00:46:13,005
[mumbling]
744
00:46:13,007 --> 00:46:14,018
Come on.
745
00:46:14,020 --> 00:46:16,008
Come on.
746
00:46:16,010 --> 00:46:18,005
God.
747
00:46:19,013 --> 00:46:20,020
- Alright?
- Yeah.
748
00:46:20,022 --> 00:46:23,022
- Okay, you can dump him here.
- Alright.
749
00:46:31,018 --> 00:46:34,011
Here, thanks and close
the door on your way out.
750
00:46:34,013 --> 00:46:35,020
Sure.
751
00:46:43,007 --> 00:46:44,019
[sighs]
752
00:47:06,003 --> 00:47:10,006
If you have an IQ over 30,
then there is no God.
753
00:47:23,008 --> 00:47:25,014
- Hi.
- Hi.
754
00:47:28,015 --> 00:47:31,003
- Who are you?
- I've got a better one for you.
755
00:47:31,005 --> 00:47:33,019
- Who are you?
- My name's Alan.
756
00:47:33,021 --> 00:47:35,011
Arnold.
757
00:47:35,013 --> 00:47:38,002
Do you remember anything
at all about last night?
758
00:47:38,004 --> 00:47:39,016
Not too much.
759
00:47:39,018 --> 00:47:43,013
I don't usually drink, but you
know how it is in the holidays.
760
00:47:43,015 --> 00:47:47,007
So you and I met where?
761
00:47:47,009 --> 00:47:50,006
Why don't you go sit down?
I'll give you breakfast.
762
00:47:50,008 --> 00:47:54,011
We met at the club East 4th.
You seemed to be having trouble.
763
00:47:56,014 --> 00:47:58,011
You were the waiter.
764
00:47:58,013 --> 00:48:01,005
I were the entertainment.
765
00:48:01,007 --> 00:48:03,003
Virginia Hamm.
766
00:48:03,005 --> 00:48:05,014
[gasps]
Oh, you're kidding?
767
00:48:05,016 --> 00:48:08,013
Anyway,
you're in Brooklyn.
768
00:48:08,015 --> 00:48:12,018
The subway's up the block.
Turn right, three blocks.
769
00:48:12,020 --> 00:48:15,019
And you don't have
to worry about anything.
770
00:48:15,021 --> 00:48:18,018
I was a perfect gentleman.
771
00:48:19,017 --> 00:48:21,014
Thanks.
772
00:48:29,017 --> 00:48:33,023
Shit, um, I have a photo shoot
today and I'm late.
773
00:48:34,001 --> 00:48:36,010
Um, hello?
774
00:48:36,012 --> 00:48:40,008
Listen, I've gotta run,
but I'll call you later, okay?
775
00:48:42,001 --> 00:48:44,001
Hello?
776
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,001
[door closes]
777
00:49:01,023 --> 00:49:03,010
[door opens]
778
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:19,012
[piano music]
779
00:49:19,014 --> 00:49:21,016
[audience applauding]
780
00:49:24,007 --> 00:49:26,010
♪ Once upon a time ♪
781
00:49:26,012 --> 00:49:28,009
♪ In olden days ♪
782
00:49:28,011 --> 00:49:33,018
♪ I spent my afternoons
at Dejeuner ♪
783
00:49:33,020 --> 00:49:36,016
♪ Eating all day ♪
784
00:49:36,018 --> 00:49:38,019
♪ Jeuner ♪
785
00:49:41,005 --> 00:49:43,008
♪ I got so large ♪
786
00:49:43,010 --> 00:49:45,014
♪ As large as a truck ♪
787
00:49:45,016 --> 00:49:48,009
♪ That my husband the buck ♪
788
00:49:48,011 --> 00:49:50,007
♪ Took off like a fuck-a-duck ♪
789
00:49:50,009 --> 00:49:52,002
[audience laughing]
790
00:49:52,004 --> 00:49:54,003
♪ And left me all alone ♪
791
00:49:54,005 --> 00:49:56,002
♪ What bad luck ♪
792
00:49:56,004 --> 00:49:59,015
♪ My life suck-sunk ♪
793
00:49:59,017 --> 00:50:01,021
♪ In a funk ♪
794
00:50:01,023 --> 00:50:03,019
♪ Boys ♪
795
00:50:07,017 --> 00:50:11,017
♪ I tried diets
and drills ♪
796
00:50:11,019 --> 00:50:13,014
♪ And I swallowed
some pills ♪
797
00:50:13,016 --> 00:50:17,000
♪ That made me
a maniac ♪
798
00:50:17,002 --> 00:50:19,010
♪ I had grapefruit
and brown rice ♪
799
00:50:19,012 --> 00:50:21,010
♪ And soybeans to boil ♪
800
00:50:21,012 --> 00:50:26,003
♪ I ate seaweed and parsley
and peanuts no oil ♪
801
00:50:26,005 --> 00:50:31,012
♪ I exercised my flabby thighs
and wrapped them in foil ♪
802
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:34,022
♪ I lost some weight ♪
803
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,015
♪ But every single
bloody time ♪
804
00:50:36,017 --> 00:50:40,018
♪ The poundage returned
to the scene of the crime ♪
805
00:50:40,020 --> 00:50:45,008
♪ And then I took it all off as
easily as when you have a cold ♪
806
00:50:45,010 --> 00:50:46,011
♪ You cough ♪
807
00:50:46,013 --> 00:50:48,001
[mimicking coughing]
808
00:50:52,001 --> 00:50:53,013
♪ Where did I begin ♪
809
00:50:53,015 --> 00:50:56,023
♪ How did I attain
the gorgeous shape ♪
810
00:50:57,001 --> 00:51:00,002
♪ That I'm in ♪
811
00:51:07,013 --> 00:51:09,016
♪ I puke ♪
812
00:51:09,018 --> 00:51:14,010
♪ So discreetly
I don't make a sound ♪
813
00:51:14,012 --> 00:51:16,017
♪ I puke ♪
814
00:51:16,019 --> 00:51:20,023
♪ After dinner
I'm never around ♪
815
00:51:21,001 --> 00:51:25,001
♪ It doesn't reek
of politesse ♪
816
00:51:26,018 --> 00:51:30,002
♪ It's not the nicest thing
I guess ♪
817
00:51:30,004 --> 00:51:33,015
♪ But it tightens my belt ♪
818
00:51:33,017 --> 00:51:37,008
♪ And it makes me
feel svelte ♪
819
00:51:38,002 --> 00:51:39,021
Exactly what I needed..
820
00:51:39,023 --> 00:51:42,012
Hi, you-you saw me
in the audience, right?
821
00:51:42,014 --> 00:51:44,018
Every queen in Harlem
saw you in the audience
822
00:51:44,020 --> 00:51:48,015
You were terrific.
A little weird, but different.
823
00:51:48,017 --> 00:51:49,023
Thanks.
824
00:51:50,001 --> 00:51:52,010
Hello? I'm another person
in the world.
825
00:51:52,012 --> 00:51:55,018
Hi. You know, I hope you
don't mind me saying so
826
00:51:55,020 --> 00:51:58,008
but I think that I prefer
you in men's clothes.
827
00:51:58,010 --> 00:52:00,022
- Ooh, child.
- Well, thanks for dropping by.
828
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:04,001
Oh, um, I-I brought
you something.
829
00:52:04,003 --> 00:52:06,014
I couldn't help but notice
that you liked them.
830
00:52:06,016 --> 00:52:08,016
That was really
sweet. Thanks.
831
00:52:08,018 --> 00:52:10,013
Look, can I take
you to dinner?
832
00:52:10,015 --> 00:52:14,003
- To make up for last night?
- Free chow. You got my vote.
833
00:52:14,005 --> 00:52:17,014
Oh, thanks.
Maybe another time, huh?
834
00:52:17,016 --> 00:52:20,005
We've really gotta run.
You know, it's Christmas
835
00:52:20,007 --> 00:52:23,001
and I never did finish
my Christmas shopping.
836
00:52:23,003 --> 00:52:25,019
There's an all-night sale
at the market. Thanks though.
837
00:52:25,021 --> 00:52:28,023
- What is the matter with you?
- What is wrong with you..
838
00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,006
(Murray)
'...you're full
of chicken shit.'
839
00:52:33,008 --> 00:52:39,020
♪ This time the dream's on me ♪
840
00:52:39,022 --> 00:52:42,019
(Alan)
'I came to New York to be gay.'
841
00:52:44,019 --> 00:52:47,006
'I don't have to tell you
the kind of reception'
842
00:52:47,008 --> 00:52:49,022
'a 15-year-old barefoot boy
with cheek of tan'
843
00:52:50,001 --> 00:52:52,014
'gets in the big apple.'
844
00:52:52,016 --> 00:52:55,012
All any guy I met cared
about was my price tag
845
00:52:55,014 --> 00:52:57,006
for the evening.
846
00:52:57,008 --> 00:53:01,005
I figured I needed affection
more than they needed the money
847
00:53:01,007 --> 00:53:03,008
so I took it.
848
00:53:06,009 --> 00:53:09,003
'I'm 21, successful..'
849
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,012
...and still
every guy I meet
850
00:53:14,014 --> 00:53:18,008
takes one look at me
and all he wants is sex.
851
00:53:19,017 --> 00:53:21,023
Every guy I meet
takes one look at me
852
00:53:22,001 --> 00:53:24,007
and all he wants
is conversation.
853
00:53:25,021 --> 00:53:27,023
I wouldn't say all.
854
00:53:36,008 --> 00:53:38,012
- Morning.
- Morning.
855
00:53:40,013 --> 00:53:42,011
Wh-what do you think?
Kate Smith, right?
856
00:53:42,013 --> 00:53:44,023
- Yeah, Judy Canova.
- I don't do her.
857
00:53:45,001 --> 00:53:47,010
- Then, put the dress back.
- Gentlemen, please..
858
00:53:47,012 --> 00:53:49,015
Don't lose your beans, honey.
We got cash.
859
00:53:49,017 --> 00:53:51,016
Yes.
860
00:53:51,018 --> 00:53:54,019
- What do you think?
- Fabulous for Canasta.
861
00:53:54,021 --> 00:53:57,017
Wouldn't you gentlemen feel more
comfortable in another store?
862
00:53:57,019 --> 00:54:00,010
Worry not, my dear. We're simply
slumming until Halston opens.
863
00:54:00,012 --> 00:54:04,008
- I'm gonna try this one out.
- No, no, no, Sir.
864
00:54:07,009 --> 00:54:10,014
Don't look now, but pretty boy
has tracked you down again.
865
00:54:11,010 --> 00:54:14,000
Oh, my God.
866
00:54:14,002 --> 00:54:15,022
- Would you stop?
- 'Tis love. 'Tis love.
867
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:19,020
Him looking at you like a 3 year
old at his first ice cream cake.
868
00:54:19,022 --> 00:54:21,020
And you're running from him
for your life.
869
00:54:21,022 --> 00:54:24,009
Now, honey, my calculus
may not be up to snuff
870
00:54:24,011 --> 00:54:26,020
but I still can put
two and two together.
871
00:54:26,022 --> 00:54:29,018
And what I get is love.
872
00:54:29,020 --> 00:54:31,020
- May I help you, Sir?
- No, thanks.
873
00:54:31,022 --> 00:54:35,012
- Sir. Sir.
- Do you have these in a 16?
874
00:54:37,014 --> 00:54:39,001
Arnold?
875
00:54:39,003 --> 00:54:41,002
Yes?
876
00:54:41,004 --> 00:54:43,012
Sorry.
877
00:54:43,014 --> 00:54:45,019
- Arnold?
- 'Oh, my God.'
878
00:54:45,021 --> 00:54:49,002
I love the way
this drapes on you.
879
00:54:49,004 --> 00:54:53,018
Arnold, I can't think
about anybody else but you.
880
00:54:53,020 --> 00:54:56,017
I don't want to see
anybody else but you.
881
00:54:56,019 --> 00:55:00,014
I don't even want to talk
to anybody else but you.
882
00:55:01,019 --> 00:55:05,016
So...you gonna
come out of there?
883
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:11,013
- Want me to break the door?
- I'm calling the police.
884
00:55:11,015 --> 00:55:15,010
Oh, nonsense. Let me see
that in his size.
885
00:55:18,022 --> 00:55:22,009
There are a couple of things
we better get straight first.
886
00:55:22,011 --> 00:55:25,013
A, I want children.
887
00:55:25,015 --> 00:55:30,022
B, if anyone asks,
I'm the pretty one.
888
00:55:34,004 --> 00:55:36,003
'Alan, where the hell are you?'
889
00:55:36,005 --> 00:55:38,008
I had to make a call.
890
00:55:39,015 --> 00:55:41,023
Okay, I'm listening.
891
00:55:42,001 --> 00:55:45,001
- Alright, number three here--
- Oh, wait. Wait.
892
00:55:46,002 --> 00:55:48,005
[music on radio]
893
00:55:48,007 --> 00:55:51,008
Alright. Let's go.
Come on.
894
00:55:53,008 --> 00:55:55,002
Employment, husband.
Employment, wife.
895
00:55:55,004 --> 00:55:57,007
I knew one day
we'll have to decide.
896
00:55:57,009 --> 00:56:00,014
If we could figure that,
we could have our own kids.
897
00:56:00,016 --> 00:56:04,012
- What should I put for age?
- Write 54. Let them break it.
898
00:56:04,014 --> 00:56:06,008
- What aged child?
- Oh.
899
00:56:06,010 --> 00:56:08,014
Old enough to dust.
That's all I care.
900
00:56:08,016 --> 00:56:12,012
(man on radio)
'You're listening to the station
dedicated to the one you love.'
901
00:56:12,014 --> 00:56:16,008
'So listen up friends, here
is the stuff you really like.'
902
00:56:16,010 --> 00:56:17,021
'A 3-year anniversary.'
903
00:56:17,023 --> 00:56:20,012
'A special song
for a special couple.'
904
00:56:20,014 --> 00:56:25,014
'For Arnold, with all the love
in my soul, from Ellen.'
905
00:56:25,016 --> 00:56:29,001
- Alan, asshole, Alan.
- Was that you?
906
00:56:32,016 --> 00:56:35,007
For God's sake,
don't cry.
907
00:56:35,009 --> 00:56:36,022
[phone ringing]
908
00:56:39,007 --> 00:56:41,011
Hello, home wrecker.
909
00:56:41,013 --> 00:56:43,013
Oh, hi, Ma.
910
00:56:44,009 --> 00:56:45,023
Mama, what's wrong?
911
00:56:46,001 --> 00:56:50,010
Arnold, tateleh,I'm sorry.
It's your father.
912
00:56:50,012 --> 00:56:53,023
♪ This time the dreams.. ♪
913
00:56:54,001 --> 00:56:56,000
I'll be right there, Mama.
914
00:56:56,002 --> 00:56:58,022
[man speaking in Hebrew]
915
00:57:00,020 --> 00:57:02,008
(all)
Amen.
916
00:57:08,002 --> 00:57:10,003
(all)
Amen.
917
00:57:19,004 --> 00:57:21,009
(ma)
Thank you so much, rabbi.
It was beautiful.
918
00:57:21,011 --> 00:57:24,019
Thank you all for coming.
We'll see you back at the house.
919
00:57:24,021 --> 00:57:27,017
Thank you so much
for coming so far.
920
00:57:27,019 --> 00:57:31,000
Thank you. You got off
from school today, didn't you?
921
00:57:31,002 --> 00:57:34,008
Thank you for coming
on such an awful day.
922
00:57:34,010 --> 00:57:37,005
This is where I'll be, between
your father and grandfather.
923
00:57:37,007 --> 00:57:40,007
And Phil, over here's for you
and your wife and your children.
924
00:57:40,009 --> 00:57:43,005
Tateleh,over here's for you
and your wife and your children.
925
00:57:43,007 --> 00:57:46,005
- Oh, Ma.
- You'll meet a girl someday.
926
00:57:46,007 --> 00:57:49,023
Believe me, Ma.
I know.
927
00:57:50,001 --> 00:57:53,000
God doesn't know.
My son knows.
928
00:58:00,014 --> 00:58:02,019
Why are the mirrors covered?
929
00:58:02,021 --> 00:58:06,019
So we don't see
the pain in our faces.
930
00:58:06,021 --> 00:58:09,009
And why are you
sitting on boxes?
931
00:58:09,011 --> 00:58:12,014
To make sure there's pain
in our faces.
932
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,023
You told me
he was Jewish.
933
00:58:29,020 --> 00:58:32,010
Out-of-town Jewish.
934
00:58:37,002 --> 00:58:39,022
So, Mama, what're
you gonna do?
935
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:43,004
Are you gonna
keep the house?
936
00:58:43,006 --> 00:58:47,000
I'll teach out the term,
put the house up for sale..
937
00:58:47,002 --> 00:58:48,013
...and go live
in Florida.
938
00:58:48,015 --> 00:58:51,007
What are you talking? Florida?
Phil and I are here.
939
00:58:51,009 --> 00:58:53,021
That's what we do.
We go to Florida.
940
00:58:53,023 --> 00:58:56,006
When my father died
my mother went to Florida.
941
00:58:56,008 --> 00:58:58,016
And her mother before that.
That's what we do.
942
00:58:58,018 --> 00:59:00,021
We go to Florida.
943
00:59:00,023 --> 00:59:04,006
I don't care what we do.
What do you want to do?
944
00:59:07,005 --> 00:59:09,009
I want to die.
945
00:59:09,011 --> 00:59:12,012
Until then I'll go to Florida.
946
00:59:20,023 --> 00:59:24,000
[phone ringing]
947
00:59:35,006 --> 00:59:36,023
Hello.
948
00:59:37,001 --> 00:59:39,003
(female #2)
'Oh, I woke you?'
949
00:59:39,005 --> 00:59:42,009
Good guess.
950
00:59:42,011 --> 00:59:44,005
[coughing]
951
00:59:44,007 --> 00:59:47,016
- 'Is this Arnold?'
- That's what they tell me.
952
00:59:47,018 --> 00:59:49,019
- Who is that?
- I don't know.
953
00:59:49,021 --> 00:59:53,011
'Oh, come on. Speak up. I'm a
drag queen, not a mind reader.'
954
00:59:53,013 --> 00:59:56,022
Well...I don't know
if you'd remember me.
955
00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:59,015
Uh, we have a mutual friend,
Ed Reese.
956
00:59:59,017 --> 01:00:03,008
'We met at his place once.
My name's Laurel.'
957
01:00:03,010 --> 01:00:05,020
'Uh, Ed and I live together.
We're lovers.'
958
01:00:05,022 --> 01:00:08,010
Anyway, we got to talking
and thought it'd be nice
959
01:00:08,012 --> 01:00:11,004
to have you up to visit
for a few days.
960
01:00:11,006 --> 01:00:13,004
'Hello? Are you with me?'
961
01:00:13,006 --> 01:00:14,016
I'm way ahead of you.
962
01:00:14,018 --> 01:00:17,006
Sorry, I ain't into
none of that kinky stuff.
963
01:00:17,008 --> 01:00:19,009
[laughing nervously]
'Ed said you were funny.'
964
01:00:19,011 --> 01:00:21,012
Yeah, right. Tell me,
whose idea was this?
965
01:00:21,014 --> 01:00:23,012
'We'd both like you to come.'
966
01:00:23,014 --> 01:00:25,013
Yeah, yeah.
Whose idea was it?
967
01:00:25,015 --> 01:00:27,004
What's the difference?
968
01:00:27,006 --> 01:00:29,005
I know how much Ed
values your friendship
969
01:00:29,007 --> 01:00:31,021
and the two of you
don't get to meet anymore..
970
01:00:31,023 --> 01:00:34,012
Look, I don't think
this is such a good idea.
971
01:00:34,014 --> 01:00:36,001
But thanks for the invite.
972
01:00:36,003 --> 01:00:38,010
- I wanna go.
- Are you out of your mind?
973
01:00:38,012 --> 01:00:40,001
- We are going.
- We are not.
974
01:00:40,003 --> 01:00:42,011
Shut up.
We're going.
975
01:00:42,013 --> 01:00:43,022
[engine starts]
976
01:00:45,003 --> 01:00:46,016
Isn't this civilized?
977
01:00:46,018 --> 01:00:49,001
Guests up to our country
home for the weekend.
978
01:00:49,003 --> 01:00:50,021
We've had guests before.
979
01:00:50,023 --> 01:00:53,007
We can hardly compare this
to having your sister
980
01:00:53,009 --> 01:00:55,005
and her kids or
your parents up.
981
01:00:55,007 --> 01:01:00,000
Imagine. Hostess to your lover's
ex and his new boyfriend.
982
01:01:00,002 --> 01:01:02,007
Now, that isn't civilized,
I don't know what is.
983
01:01:02,009 --> 01:01:04,013
- It's down right..
- Would you stop?
984
01:01:07,015 --> 01:01:09,009
[honking]
985
01:01:14,004 --> 01:01:15,022
- This is it.
- Hi.
986
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:20,023
Alright, you finally made it.
How you doing? Look at this.
987
01:01:21,001 --> 01:01:23,000
- Hi.
- Hi.
988
01:01:23,002 --> 01:01:25,003
You look great.
989
01:01:25,005 --> 01:01:27,002
This is Laurel.
990
01:01:27,004 --> 01:01:29,010
- Arnold, Hi.
- You're Alan.
991
01:01:29,012 --> 01:01:30,019
Yeah.
992
01:01:30,021 --> 01:01:33,010
- You need help?
- Oh, Thanks.
993
01:01:33,012 --> 01:01:35,014
You got it? Good.
994
01:01:35,016 --> 01:01:39,021
This is Laurel, and, uh,
come on, let's go on inside.
995
01:01:39,023 --> 01:01:42,004
- Hi, Laurel.
- How are you?
996
01:01:42,006 --> 01:01:43,018
Come on in.
997
01:01:43,020 --> 01:01:45,013
Ha ha ha.
998
01:01:45,015 --> 01:01:47,016
Yeah. Ha ha ha.
999
01:01:58,008 --> 01:02:00,009
[thundering]
1000
01:02:08,015 --> 01:02:12,023
So, Arnold, Ed tells me
you're a transsexual.
1001
01:02:13,001 --> 01:02:15,000
- Transvestite.
- I'm sorry.
1002
01:02:15,002 --> 01:02:18,008
That's alright. Look, actually,
I'm just a drag queen.
1003
01:02:18,010 --> 01:02:21,001
Did I tell you I'm teaching
my classes computers?
1004
01:02:21,003 --> 01:02:22,023
- It's an experimental program.
- Really?
1005
01:02:23,001 --> 01:02:26,005
He's even tried teaching me
a thing or two, but I'm baffled.
1006
01:02:26,007 --> 01:02:28,003
You know, hardware, software
1007
01:02:28,005 --> 01:02:30,013
I can never remember
which is which.
1008
01:02:30,015 --> 01:02:34,012
Easy. Just remember computers
are the opposite of people.
1009
01:02:34,014 --> 01:02:37,004
With computers, the software
goes into the hardware.
1010
01:02:37,006 --> 01:02:38,016
And with people--
1011
01:02:38,018 --> 01:02:41,023
My, my! All this good food
has just done me in.
1012
01:02:42,001 --> 01:02:45,012
What say we hit the hay? Eh?
1013
01:02:48,016 --> 01:02:51,004
Did you see how he fawned
over Alan at dinner?
1014
01:02:51,006 --> 01:02:53,006
He practically cut
his steak for him.
1015
01:02:53,008 --> 01:02:55,008
No more than I
fawned over you.
1016
01:02:55,010 --> 01:02:57,005
I did cut your steak.
1017
01:02:57,007 --> 01:02:59,002
I could have killed
you for that.
1018
01:02:59,004 --> 01:03:00,020
The two of you
were lovers.
1019
01:03:00,022 --> 01:03:03,022
Little games and jealousies
are going to pop up.
1020
01:03:06,017 --> 01:03:08,007
[thundering]
1021
01:03:10,017 --> 01:03:12,021
Did you see how
he made such a point
1022
01:03:12,023 --> 01:03:16,009
of running off to bed early?
Oh, I'm so tired.
1023
01:03:16,011 --> 01:03:19,013
All that good food
has just done me in.
1024
01:03:19,015 --> 01:03:23,005
Hm. If I had someone as pretty
as that to go to bed with
1025
01:03:23,007 --> 01:03:25,006
I wouldn't have stayed
late up either.
1026
01:03:25,008 --> 01:03:27,019
- You think he's pretty?
- Uh-huh.
1027
01:03:27,021 --> 01:03:29,017
Don't you think he's
a little young?
1028
01:03:29,019 --> 01:03:35,017
Uh-uh. You hear the way their
bed springs were squeaking?
1029
01:03:35,019 --> 01:03:41,012
I think that I do pretty well
in the squeaking departments.
1030
01:03:41,014 --> 01:03:43,001
Oh, you do.
1031
01:03:43,003 --> 01:03:46,013
Yeah, making certain allowances
for wear and tear.
1032
01:03:46,015 --> 01:03:50,000
Oh, no. Too early in the race
to make a plea for sympathy.
1033
01:03:50,002 --> 01:03:53,003
Oh, you want to race?
Ok. We'll race.
1034
01:03:53,005 --> 01:03:55,006
May the best man win.
1035
01:03:58,013 --> 01:04:02,009
[thudding]
1036
01:04:04,003 --> 01:04:08,001
Jesus! Do you hear that?
1037
01:04:08,003 --> 01:04:10,003
[thudding continues]
1038
01:04:10,005 --> 01:04:12,004
[giggles]
1039
01:04:12,006 --> 01:04:15,000
Oh, baby, talk dirty to me.
1040
01:04:15,002 --> 01:04:17,019
Well, go outside and
listen at their door.
1041
01:04:17,021 --> 01:04:20,010
Give my best to
the bisexuals.
1042
01:04:20,012 --> 01:04:22,017
Only he's bisexual.
She's straight.
1043
01:04:22,019 --> 01:04:28,004
Too bad mixed marriages
never work.
1044
01:04:28,006 --> 01:04:33,010
- So what do you think?
- About what?
1045
01:04:33,012 --> 01:04:37,002
Seeing Ed again with
me to compare him to.
1046
01:04:37,004 --> 01:04:40,010
Is that what
we're doin' here?
1047
01:04:40,012 --> 01:04:43,013
He ain't so hot.
1048
01:04:43,015 --> 01:04:46,017
Not hot enough to be the great
love of your life anyway.
1049
01:04:46,019 --> 01:04:49,016
I never said he was the
great love of my life.
1050
01:04:49,018 --> 01:04:51,015
He's got his good
points though.
1051
01:04:51,017 --> 01:04:54,011
He's good-natured,
good-looking, good in bed.
1052
01:04:54,013 --> 01:04:55,023
Good and boring.
1053
01:04:56,001 --> 01:04:58,011
He's not good
and boring.
1054
01:04:58,013 --> 01:05:01,001
He's just plain boring.
1055
01:05:01,003 --> 01:05:06,015
- But you loved him, right?
- I guess so.
1056
01:05:06,017 --> 01:05:09,003
He loved you.
1057
01:05:09,005 --> 01:05:12,011
I see the way
he looks at you.
1058
01:05:12,013 --> 01:05:17,013
- Why did you two break up?
- We wanted different things.
1059
01:05:17,015 --> 01:05:18,022
Like what?
1060
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:23,011
I wanted a husband.
He wanted a wife.
1061
01:05:39,015 --> 01:05:41,011
That was delicious, Laurel.
1062
01:05:41,013 --> 01:05:44,000
Isn't she a great cook,
besides being beautiful?
1063
01:05:44,002 --> 01:05:47,010
- Just delicious.
- I bet I gained five pounds.
1064
01:05:47,012 --> 01:05:50,015
Ed, why don't you take Arnold
and Alan out to the barn
1065
01:05:50,017 --> 01:05:52,014
and show them our
new canning machine?
1066
01:05:52,016 --> 01:05:54,017
We can all of our
vegetables, you know.
1067
01:05:54,019 --> 01:05:56,016
Thanks. I've seen the barn.
1068
01:05:56,018 --> 01:05:59,018
Ed, why don't you take
Alan out and show it to him?
1069
01:05:59,020 --> 01:06:02,018
He's the real can connoisseur
in the family.
1070
01:06:02,020 --> 01:06:04,019
I'll stay and help
Laurel with the dishes.
1071
01:06:04,021 --> 01:06:07,021
We're yet to have a moment alone
to compare notes on you.
1072
01:06:07,023 --> 01:06:09,017
Oh, just what she's
been waiting for.
1073
01:06:09,019 --> 01:06:13,012
- Ed!
- Mind if I steal the brandy?
1074
01:06:13,014 --> 01:06:14,020
Come on.
1075
01:06:18,016 --> 01:06:20,020
Stuck with the dishes.
1076
01:06:23,019 --> 01:06:25,021
It's right up there.
1077
01:06:27,019 --> 01:06:30,021
Tell me about you.
That's the reason we're here.
1078
01:06:30,023 --> 01:06:33,013
- Is it?
- Sure is.
1079
01:06:34,022 --> 01:06:36,021
Wasn't going to let
this opportunity
1080
01:06:36,023 --> 01:06:38,020
to meet my
competition go by.
1081
01:06:38,022 --> 01:06:42,017
- I'm no competition.
- I am.
1082
01:06:44,011 --> 01:06:47,012
- So talk.
- Why don't you ask Arnold?
1083
01:06:47,014 --> 01:06:50,002
I'm sure he has lots
to say on the subject.
1084
01:06:50,004 --> 01:06:52,008
He says you're a boring,
self-centered
1085
01:06:52,010 --> 01:06:54,012
insensitive old fool
who wouldn't know love
1086
01:06:54,014 --> 01:06:57,022
if it wore wings, diaper and
shot heart shaped arrows
1087
01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:59,010
at your butt.
1088
01:06:59,012 --> 01:07:02,010
- Anything you'd care to add?
- No. That'll do.
1089
01:07:02,012 --> 01:07:04,008
What do you think?
1090
01:07:04,010 --> 01:07:05,021
I think I'll reserve
my judgment
1091
01:07:05,023 --> 01:07:08,010
until I can make
a closer inspection.
1092
01:07:23,013 --> 01:07:25,016
Close enough?
1093
01:07:25,018 --> 01:07:29,007
You asked me to sit in
the hay, not roll in it.
1094
01:07:34,018 --> 01:07:37,003
I think you're
very beautiful.
1095
01:07:37,005 --> 01:07:40,013
I thought you were reformed.
1096
01:07:40,015 --> 01:07:42,018
You want me to stop..
1097
01:07:46,007 --> 01:07:48,008
...just say so.
1098
01:07:51,006 --> 01:07:52,018
Do you?
1099
01:07:56,017 --> 01:07:59,012
I didn't think so.
1100
01:08:07,020 --> 01:08:09,017
(Alan)
Let's go.
1101
01:08:09,019 --> 01:08:11,016
I'm sorry you couldn't
stay for supper.
1102
01:08:11,018 --> 01:08:14,004
- Yeah, so are we, Arnold.
- Yes. It's a shame.
1103
01:08:14,006 --> 01:08:16,003
Laurel, Listen,
I'll call you.
1104
01:08:16,005 --> 01:08:18,006
- And thanks.
- Drive safe, okay?
1105
01:08:18,008 --> 01:08:20,007
What the hell's
wrong with you?
1106
01:08:20,009 --> 01:08:22,008
- I'm driving.
- Okay, bye.
1107
01:08:22,010 --> 01:08:24,004
Hey, give us a call
anytime.
1108
01:08:24,006 --> 01:08:26,000
Maybe we'll do it
again sometime.
1109
01:08:26,002 --> 01:08:27,023
(Ed)
'Yeah. Sounds good to me.'
1110
01:08:28,001 --> 01:08:30,008
- 'What's wrong with you?'
- 'Take it easy.'
1111
01:08:30,010 --> 01:08:32,014
(Alan)
'Let's just get
out of here.'
1112
01:08:49,017 --> 01:08:51,020
[doorbell rings]
1113
01:09:00,019 --> 01:09:01,019
Oh, I'm sorry.
1114
01:09:01,021 --> 01:09:03,009
I thought you
weren't at home
1115
01:09:03,011 --> 01:09:05,012
and I was working out
some frustration.
1116
01:09:05,014 --> 01:09:08,007
And I thank you for it.
Come on in.
1117
01:09:08,009 --> 01:09:10,006
- Is Alan here?
- No.
1118
01:09:10,008 --> 01:09:12,016
He had some
early appointments.
1119
01:09:16,021 --> 01:09:18,001
Are you alright?
1120
01:09:18,003 --> 01:09:20,006
I could use
some caffeine.
1121
01:09:23,003 --> 01:09:27,013
I can't believe how I misjudged
your relationship with Alan.
1122
01:09:27,015 --> 01:09:30,014
Actually, you're
so perfect together.
1123
01:09:30,016 --> 01:09:32,014
I'm certain you'll
work everything out.
1124
01:09:32,016 --> 01:09:35,002
I wasn't aware of anything
that needed working out.
1125
01:09:35,004 --> 01:09:37,017
- You two didn't have words?
- None we haven't used before.
1126
01:09:37,019 --> 01:09:39,022
You mean what happened
between Ed and Alan
1127
01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:42,021
'doesn't bother
you at all?'
1128
01:09:42,023 --> 01:09:44,006
What?
1129
01:09:44,008 --> 01:09:46,001
You blurted it out
just like that?
1130
01:09:46,003 --> 01:09:48,002
Thought he knew.
It was a friendly remark.
1131
01:09:48,004 --> 01:09:50,005
With friends like her
who needs divorce court!
1132
01:09:50,007 --> 01:09:53,004
- Why'd you think I left him?
- 'Cause of something I said.
1133
01:09:53,006 --> 01:09:55,023
- You gonna tell Laurel?
- What I do is my own business.
1134
01:09:56,001 --> 01:09:58,018
Ed told me about it after
you left. He was crying.
1135
01:09:58,020 --> 01:10:01,021
I was dumbfounded. I didn't know
which one of us to comfort.
1136
01:10:01,023 --> 01:10:04,004
- All you had to do is ask.
- Ask what?
1137
01:10:04,006 --> 01:10:06,006
Not to fool around.
And I wouldn't.
1138
01:10:06,008 --> 01:10:07,014
You never asked me?
1139
01:10:07,016 --> 01:10:09,009
I wanted you to
feel you could.
1140
01:10:09,011 --> 01:10:11,022
You mean you wanted me
to feel that you could.
1141
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:13,023
For once I'd love
to have an affair
1142
01:10:14,001 --> 01:10:16,007
go on the rocks
after the passion wears off?
1143
01:10:16,009 --> 01:10:18,019
Your the one who that wanted
this weekend and wanted..
1144
01:10:18,021 --> 01:10:21,022
Just 'cause I said that's what
I wanted doesn't mean I wanted.
1145
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:24,021
May be, what I wanted. Doesn't
mean I'm ready for it.
1146
01:10:24,023 --> 01:10:26,023
- You want me see other men?
- No.
1147
01:10:27,001 --> 01:10:31,004
- I want you to feel you can.
- I do and I did!
1148
01:10:31,006 --> 01:10:34,007
Just once, I'd like to be
standing on sure ground
1149
01:10:34,009 --> 01:10:36,012
when the blow hits,
instead of crawling around
1150
01:10:36,014 --> 01:10:38,012
on my hands and knees
like a baby.
1151
01:10:38,014 --> 01:10:41,005
There's something
I want to ask you.
1152
01:10:41,007 --> 01:10:42,011
The answer's yes.
1153
01:10:42,013 --> 01:10:44,009
You don't even
know the question.
1154
01:10:44,011 --> 01:10:47,002
I'm too tired to argue anymore,
so whatever it is
1155
01:10:47,004 --> 01:10:48,019
my answer's yes.
1156
01:10:48,021 --> 01:10:50,011
Good.
1157
01:10:50,013 --> 01:10:53,002
'Cause I love you too.
1158
01:10:59,002 --> 01:11:01,000
'That's it, Alan.
Come on, yes.'
1159
01:11:01,002 --> 01:11:03,000
'Now, pour the man
some champagne.'
1160
01:11:03,002 --> 01:11:05,000
'That's it.
Don't give him a bath.'
1161
01:11:05,002 --> 01:11:06,014
Oh, yes, your looking
beautiful. Beautiful.
1162
01:11:06,016 --> 01:11:11,000
Alan, give me a smile.
Wonderful. Yes.
1163
01:11:11,002 --> 01:11:14,008
Hi, Arnold.
Alan, take five.
1164
01:11:14,010 --> 01:11:17,019
Shelley, stay there.
1165
01:11:17,021 --> 01:11:19,017
Can somebody focus
this light here?
1166
01:11:19,019 --> 01:11:22,008
(male #2)
Shelley, come over here.
I wanna do something..
1167
01:11:22,010 --> 01:11:26,012
Yeah. Fix that
little spot over there.
1168
01:11:26,014 --> 01:11:28,015
[indistinct chattering]
1169
01:11:35,010 --> 01:11:37,013
- Bad news?
- What?
1170
01:11:37,015 --> 01:11:39,022
- Who's the letter from?
- Ah, Laurel.
1171
01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:41,021
They're getting married.
1172
01:11:41,023 --> 01:11:43,018
- You're kidding?
- No.
1173
01:11:43,020 --> 01:11:46,014
"And so we figured, two years
after that wonderful weekend
1174
01:11:46,016 --> 01:11:49,005
"ha ha ha, well, if we could
survive that together
1175
01:11:49,007 --> 01:11:51,005
"then we could make it
through anything
1176
01:11:51,007 --> 01:11:52,022
"and so we'll be
tying the knot."
1177
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,016
I think we should take their
example and get married.
1178
01:11:55,018 --> 01:11:56,023
Yeah. Sure.
1179
01:11:57,001 --> 01:11:59,006
Any day now a giant stork
is gonna come
1180
01:11:59,008 --> 01:12:01,018
rapping on our door
with a bundle of joy.
1181
01:12:01,020 --> 01:12:04,020
I think the kid deserves
legitimate parents.
1182
01:12:04,022 --> 01:12:08,022
- What are you talking about?
- The institute called.
1183
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:10,021
- We're going to have a baby.
- You..
1184
01:12:10,023 --> 01:12:14,001
Yeah. We gotta find
an apartment fast.
1185
01:12:14,003 --> 01:12:18,002
They won't give him to us until
he can have a room of his own.
1186
01:12:18,004 --> 01:12:20,006
- Him?
- His name is David.
1187
01:12:20,008 --> 01:12:23,009
He's 15, troubled, abused.
1188
01:12:23,011 --> 01:12:25,020
- He's also gay.
- Oye.
1189
01:12:25,022 --> 01:12:27,019
So will you?
1190
01:12:27,021 --> 01:12:31,000
- What?
- Marry me.
1191
01:12:33,014 --> 01:12:35,015
[barking]
1192
01:12:46,015 --> 01:12:48,004
[car honking]
1193
01:12:55,012 --> 01:12:58,009
Excuse me. Sorry.
1194
01:12:58,011 --> 01:13:00,014
Welcome to the neighborhood.
1195
01:13:06,008 --> 01:13:08,011
Fabulous.
1196
01:13:08,013 --> 01:13:10,021
Really terrific neighborhood
you picked here.
1197
01:13:10,023 --> 01:13:13,002
It's barely dark,
and they're out in numbers.
1198
01:13:13,004 --> 01:13:16,011
Maybe we should get an infrared
telescope for the living room.
1199
01:13:16,013 --> 01:13:19,015
- Great way to bring up a child.
- 'Lift, lift.'
1200
01:13:23,019 --> 01:13:26,023
- Are we going to have a dog?
- Why? What for?
1201
01:13:27,001 --> 01:13:30,007
- For the kid.
- That's a great idea.
1202
01:13:30,009 --> 01:13:32,007
What kind should we get?
1203
01:13:32,009 --> 01:13:34,011
The kind that can
walk in the park.
1204
01:13:34,013 --> 01:13:37,019
You're a funny guy.
Real funny.
1205
01:13:37,021 --> 01:13:40,021
Wait. Okay.
Push. Okay.
1206
01:13:40,023 --> 01:13:43,002
God, I feel so butch.
1207
01:13:45,007 --> 01:13:47,012
Hey, should you be carrying
this in your condition?
1208
01:13:47,014 --> 01:13:50,009
Shouldn't you be lying down
with your feet up or something?
1209
01:13:50,011 --> 01:13:52,018
You're even starting
to look like a mother.
1210
01:13:52,020 --> 01:13:55,010
- Gray hair and all.
- I do not have gray hair.
1211
01:13:55,012 --> 01:13:57,008
I can see it from here.
1212
01:13:57,010 --> 01:13:59,018
Yeah, well you gave me
every one of 'em.
1213
01:13:59,020 --> 01:14:01,007
My old man.
1214
01:14:03,021 --> 01:14:06,006
What if he hates us?
1215
01:14:06,008 --> 01:14:10,000
- I'm hungry. Let's go eat.
- I'm tired. Let's go to bed.
1216
01:14:13,016 --> 01:14:15,002
Where?
1217
01:14:15,004 --> 01:14:16,020
Oops.
1218
01:14:16,022 --> 01:14:18,021
Well, why don't you
go get some take-out?
1219
01:14:18,023 --> 01:14:22,003
And I'll see what I can
do with the bedroom.
1220
01:14:22,005 --> 01:14:24,021
- Dinner in bed.
- By candlelight?
1221
01:14:24,023 --> 01:14:27,010
Buy candles.
1222
01:14:43,001 --> 01:14:44,009
Sorry.
1223
01:14:44,011 --> 01:14:48,004
You fuckin' watch
where you're goin'.
1224
01:14:48,006 --> 01:14:52,000
- Fuckin' faggot.
- Hey, not out here, man.
1225
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:00,010
Alan!
1226
01:15:00,012 --> 01:15:02,002
Bring champagne.
1227
01:15:06,018 --> 01:15:09,007
(female #4)
I can't believe
he said that you.
1228
01:15:13,020 --> 01:15:15,009
[muttering]
1229
01:15:22,007 --> 01:15:24,012
[people shouting]
1230
01:15:24,014 --> 01:15:25,019
What's going on?
1231
01:15:25,021 --> 01:15:27,019
Some punks are swinging
bats at everyone.
1232
01:15:27,021 --> 01:15:30,000
- They got some guy cornered.
- Call the cops.
1233
01:15:30,002 --> 01:15:33,000
They're beatin' on fags!
You think the cops give a shit?
1234
01:15:33,002 --> 01:15:35,004
Call the cops! Now!
1235
01:15:36,021 --> 01:15:38,012
[tires screech]
1236
01:15:41,006 --> 01:15:43,003
Over there.
1237
01:15:47,008 --> 01:15:48,015
Hey!
1238
01:15:49,023 --> 01:15:51,002
Hey!
1239
01:15:51,004 --> 01:15:53,005
Give me the bat.
1240
01:15:57,002 --> 01:15:59,005
(Alan)
'Let him go.'
1241
01:16:02,005 --> 01:16:04,007
Come on. I said,
"let him go."
1242
01:16:05,011 --> 01:16:08,003
Oh, geez.
1243
01:16:18,012 --> 01:16:20,013
[siren blaring]
1244
01:16:35,018 --> 01:16:37,012
[siren blaring continues]
1245
01:17:00,022 --> 01:17:03,002
(male #3)
'Come on. Give it back.'
1246
01:17:13,019 --> 01:17:16,008
Move it back.
1247
01:17:16,010 --> 01:17:19,004
'Hey, you back there,
get back in the car.'
1248
01:17:22,010 --> 01:17:24,007
I don't know
what happened.
1249
01:17:24,009 --> 01:17:27,012
You'll read about it
in the morning. Come on.
1250
01:17:53,004 --> 01:17:55,009
Alright, break it up.
1251
01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:58,001
[siren blaring]
1252
01:18:46,013 --> 01:18:47,015
[kids screaming]
1253
01:18:47,017 --> 01:18:49,017
(female #3)
'Stop it!'
1254
01:18:49,019 --> 01:18:51,020
Stop it!
1255
01:18:51,022 --> 01:18:53,021
Please, stop it!
1256
01:18:57,021 --> 01:18:59,004
Stop!
1257
01:19:00,023 --> 01:19:02,005
Stop!
1258
01:19:05,018 --> 01:19:08,006
I've called your mothers
and I don't want a sound
1259
01:19:08,008 --> 01:19:11,022
out of either one of you
until they get here.
1260
01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:13,006
Your mother?
1261
01:19:15,022 --> 01:19:18,004
Hey, I didn't say
nothing, lady.
1262
01:19:41,006 --> 01:19:43,010
You are going to pay
for this, young man.
1263
01:19:43,012 --> 01:19:47,005
How could you get into
a fight today of all days.
1264
01:19:47,007 --> 01:19:50,003
Believe me young man.
I won't soon forget about this.
1265
01:19:50,005 --> 01:19:53,006
Yeah, you think I'll ever forget
you showin' up in that outfit?
1266
01:19:53,008 --> 01:19:56,002
They called and told me you
were hurt in a fight.
1267
01:19:56,004 --> 01:19:59,004
What did you want me
to do, put on a tux?
1268
01:20:01,007 --> 01:20:02,014
[door closing]
1269
01:20:03,023 --> 01:20:05,018
Looks like he survived.
1270
01:20:05,020 --> 01:20:07,019
What are you doing
home from work?
1271
01:20:07,021 --> 01:20:09,021
Brooklyn Day.
My school's closed.
1272
01:20:09,023 --> 01:20:11,017
What died in here?
1273
01:20:11,019 --> 01:20:13,006
It's breakfast,
I cooked it myself.
1274
01:20:13,008 --> 01:20:15,017
- Toast for me I'm on a diet.
- Since when?
1275
01:20:15,019 --> 01:20:16,022
1961.
1276
01:20:18,022 --> 01:20:21,005
Got a steak
I could put on my eye?
1277
01:20:21,007 --> 01:20:22,009
Use ice cubes.
1278
01:20:22,011 --> 01:20:24,013
When I think of that
kid hittin' you..
1279
01:20:24,015 --> 01:20:26,013
And for that he gets
two days suspension.
1280
01:20:26,015 --> 01:20:28,002
I gotta go see
his principal.
1281
01:20:28,004 --> 01:20:29,023
What did you fight
about anyway?
1282
01:20:30,001 --> 01:20:32,005
He called me a douchebag.
So, I slugged him.
1283
01:20:32,007 --> 01:20:35,008
- How '50s.
- Have a seat. Soup's on.
1284
01:20:37,008 --> 01:20:40,014
Here we go. Hm.
1285
01:20:43,020 --> 01:20:45,018
Okay, dig in.
1286
01:20:45,020 --> 01:20:50,006
- This is a joke, right?
- I cooked. You'll eat.
1287
01:20:56,012 --> 01:20:59,020
I'm going apartment hunting this
afternoon. Care to join me?
1288
01:20:59,022 --> 01:21:04,010
Hey, what's the rush?
I like having you here.
1289
01:21:04,012 --> 01:21:07,005
Can I have the ketchup?
1290
01:21:07,007 --> 01:21:09,020
The couch and I
are not speaking.
1291
01:21:09,022 --> 01:21:12,012
It's only your 4th night.
You'll get used to it.
1292
01:21:12,014 --> 01:21:14,011
Can I have the mustard?
1293
01:21:14,013 --> 01:21:16,011
Is something wrong
with the food?
1294
01:21:16,013 --> 01:21:18,023
Not at all.
Very tasty.
1295
01:21:19,001 --> 01:21:21,001
How about the mayo?
1296
01:21:21,003 --> 01:21:22,011
Hold the mayo.
1297
01:21:24,022 --> 01:21:27,016
Oh, yeah, your wife called
in the middle of the night.
1298
01:21:27,018 --> 01:21:30,014
I tried to wake you,
but you were out of it.
1299
01:21:30,016 --> 01:21:32,011
Oh, I guess I better call her.
1300
01:21:32,013 --> 01:21:35,007
'Help yourself to seconds.
There's plenty.'
1301
01:21:35,009 --> 01:21:37,010
And I was worried.
1302
01:21:38,017 --> 01:21:40,015
David, you finish
cleaning up your room?
1303
01:21:40,017 --> 01:21:42,016
'Oh, what do
I gotta clean for?'
1304
01:21:42,018 --> 01:21:44,009
My mother, tomorrow,
coming here.
1305
01:21:44,011 --> 01:21:46,015
Lock the door and
tell her it's a closet.
1306
01:21:46,017 --> 01:21:49,013
She doesn't know about me,
why let her into my room.
1307
01:21:49,015 --> 01:21:51,015
- Who's on the phone?
- Ed.
1308
01:21:51,017 --> 01:21:54,003
(Ed)
Alright. Alright.
1309
01:21:54,005 --> 01:21:57,013
Yeah, um, yeah.
1:30 at Greenfields. Yep.
1310
01:21:57,015 --> 01:21:59,010
Okay. Bye-bye.
1311
01:21:59,012 --> 01:22:01,020
She give you
a bad time, huh?
1312
01:22:01,022 --> 01:22:03,018
Four days of those calls
1313
01:22:03,020 --> 01:22:05,020
you'd think I'd start
getting used to them.
1314
01:22:05,022 --> 01:22:08,005
I don't know why
she always has to cry.
1315
01:22:08,007 --> 01:22:10,018
I mean, this separation
wasn't all my idea.
1316
01:22:10,020 --> 01:22:13,012
Ed! I don't want to hear
what you have to say.
1317
01:22:13,014 --> 01:22:16,020
'Cause believe me, you don't
want to hear what I have to say.
1318
01:22:16,022 --> 01:22:19,003
Well, I'd love to sit
around chewin' the fat
1319
01:22:19,005 --> 01:22:22,000
with you grown-up types,
but I got a life to live.
1320
01:22:22,002 --> 01:22:24,012
- Take a glass of milk.
- I had milk.
1321
01:22:24,014 --> 01:22:27,019
- Then go brush your teeth.
- Oh, ma!
1322
01:22:27,021 --> 01:22:31,002
Don't you "oh, ma" me. March.
1323
01:22:32,012 --> 01:22:35,022
And don't call me, ma
in front of my mother.
1324
01:22:39,022 --> 01:22:43,000
Having a good time,
Leonora?
1325
01:22:43,002 --> 01:22:44,021
Oh, Ed, two favors.
1326
01:22:44,023 --> 01:22:47,002
My mother wants to go to
the cemetery tomorrow.
1327
01:22:47,004 --> 01:22:50,014
So have you got the number of
that car service that you use?
1328
01:22:50,016 --> 01:22:52,006
- Yeah, sure.
- And uh..
1329
01:22:52,008 --> 01:22:54,018
David's social worker
will be coming on Thursday
1330
01:22:54,020 --> 01:22:57,005
so could you stay
somewhere else?
1331
01:22:57,007 --> 01:23:00,009
Oh, I'm good enough for your
mother, but I'm not good enough
1332
01:23:00,011 --> 01:23:02,008
for David's social worker?
1333
01:23:02,010 --> 01:23:04,014
It has nothing to do
with being good enough.
1334
01:23:04,016 --> 01:23:06,023
It's just that Ms. Schnabel
frowns on casual cohabitation.
1335
01:23:07,001 --> 01:23:09,013
I've got enough to explain
without you on the couch.
1336
01:23:09,015 --> 01:23:11,020
Casual? We've known each
other for nine years.
1337
01:23:11,022 --> 01:23:13,023
Seven of which you spent
with another woman.
1338
01:23:14,001 --> 01:23:16,006
- But I'm sleeping on the couch.
- Ed!
1339
01:23:16,008 --> 01:23:18,013
Okay, maybe I should just
find a hotel room.
1340
01:23:18,015 --> 01:23:20,020
And leave me unprotected
at a time like this?
1341
01:23:20,022 --> 01:23:23,004
You know my mother isn't
exactly going to feature
1342
01:23:23,006 --> 01:23:25,000
the idea of my
becoming a father.
1343
01:23:25,002 --> 01:23:27,012
Your opinion as an American
educator will prove invaluable.
1344
01:23:27,014 --> 01:23:29,007
She'll say I'm prejudiced.
1345
01:23:29,009 --> 01:23:32,008
She'll say a lot a things,
you'll learn not to listen.
1346
01:23:32,010 --> 01:23:34,019
- David, I'm leaving.
- I'll miss you.
1347
01:23:34,021 --> 01:23:37,008
Make sure he calls somebody
for his homework.
1348
01:23:37,010 --> 01:23:41,007
No TV till it's done.
And bedtime 11:00 p.m. sharp.
1349
01:23:41,009 --> 01:23:44,007
- But I got no school tomorrow.
- It's still a school night.
1350
01:23:44,009 --> 01:23:45,016
We'll be fine.
1351
01:23:47,012 --> 01:23:48,021
David!
1352
01:23:49,023 --> 01:23:51,008
Get over here!
1353
01:23:53,020 --> 01:23:56,002
What the hell
is wrong with you?
1354
01:23:56,004 --> 01:24:01,023
I don't get
no kiss goodbye?
1355
01:24:02,001 --> 01:24:06,007
- I love you.
- I love you too...ma!
1356
01:24:12,021 --> 01:24:14,022
So the new career
is a reality.
1357
01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:16,023
Just don't forget who
your friends are.
1358
01:24:17,001 --> 01:24:19,001
You know, when I started,
in this business
1359
01:24:19,003 --> 01:24:21,007
I looked like
a young Joan Crawford.
1360
01:24:21,009 --> 01:24:24,009
Ten years later,
Marjorie Main.
1361
01:24:24,011 --> 01:24:27,011
I swear I'm aging about as well
as a beach party movie.
1362
01:24:27,013 --> 01:24:29,019
Mmm, I'm happy for you.
You've got it all.
1363
01:24:29,021 --> 01:24:32,000
Now, if that idiot Ed
would just settle down..
1364
01:24:32,002 --> 01:24:35,008
You must be dying for a slap.
That's the last thing I need.
1365
01:24:35,010 --> 01:24:38,012
That's precisely my point. Ed
is the very last thing you need.
1366
01:24:38,014 --> 01:24:40,011
You've got the rest.
Nice apartment, good job
1367
01:24:40,013 --> 01:24:43,016
money enough to keep your figure
and someone who depends on you.
1368
01:24:43,018 --> 01:24:46,017
Now what you need is someone
on whom you can depend.
1369
01:24:46,019 --> 01:24:49,020
- Ed? Get real.
- People change.
1370
01:24:49,022 --> 01:24:52,023
Alan died, honey,
not you.
1371
01:24:55,016 --> 01:24:57,000
[Billie Holiday singing"What's New?"]
1372
01:24:57,002 --> 01:25:01,016
♪ But seeing you is grand ♪
1373
01:25:03,009 --> 01:25:09,006
♪ And you were sweet
to offer your hand ♪
1374
01:25:10,014 --> 01:25:13,018
♪ I understand ♪
1375
01:25:13,020 --> 01:25:18,008
♪ I do ♪
1376
01:25:18,010 --> 01:25:23,010
♪ Pardon my asking
what's new ♪
1377
01:25:25,021 --> 01:25:31,003
♪ Of course,
you couldn't know ♪
1378
01:25:33,006 --> 01:25:36,012
♪ I haven't changed ♪
1379
01:25:36,014 --> 01:25:39,020
♪ I still love you so ♪
1380
01:26:03,019 --> 01:26:06,006
How Alice Faye can I get?
1381
01:26:11,016 --> 01:26:14,011
(male on radio)
'It's 7:18 in the Big Apple.'
1382
01:26:14,013 --> 01:26:16,010
'This is High Tide
with a dedication'
1383
01:26:16,012 --> 01:26:19,001
'from Butchie to Judy.'
1384
01:26:22,005 --> 01:26:24,012
Think we should wake him?
What if he oversleeps?
1385
01:26:24,014 --> 01:26:27,008
- I'm not gonna survive!
- He's up.
1386
01:26:27,010 --> 01:26:29,010
David, What are you doing
in that kitchen?
1387
01:26:29,012 --> 01:26:31,009
I cleaned until
5:00 in the morning!
1388
01:26:31,011 --> 01:26:34,011
- Where am I supposed to eat?
- You ever hear of a restaurant.
1389
01:26:34,013 --> 01:26:37,015
They cook and clean for you
and my mother don't go there.
1390
01:26:37,017 --> 01:26:39,017
Well, lemme break
the good news to her.
1391
01:26:39,019 --> 01:26:41,015
The suit should help
soften the blow.
1392
01:26:41,017 --> 01:26:43,021
- It's for David's Principal.
- What, no bunny slippers?
1393
01:26:43,023 --> 01:26:46,014
Ed, the phone number of that
car service you promised?
1394
01:26:46,016 --> 01:26:49,002
- Here. When do you expect her?
- I don't know.
1395
01:26:49,004 --> 01:26:51,015
She said early flight.
I figure around noon.
1396
01:26:51,017 --> 01:26:54,009
David! Get over here.
1397
01:26:54,011 --> 01:26:57,006
Now, listen to me. I want you
to cleanup that kitchen.
1398
01:26:57,008 --> 01:26:58,019
Get your butt
over to Murray's.
1399
01:26:58,021 --> 01:27:01,005
And don't come home
until I call you, huh?
1400
01:27:01,007 --> 01:27:03,011
Yeah, ma.
1401
01:27:06,008 --> 01:27:07,019
What?
1402
01:27:07,021 --> 01:27:10,023
After all this time, why have
you not told her about David?
1403
01:27:11,001 --> 01:27:13,020
I told my mother, but she
assumed he was my roommate.
1404
01:27:13,022 --> 01:27:15,011
I didn't bother
to correct her.
1405
01:27:15,013 --> 01:27:18,011
I was crazy then.
Alan had just died.
1406
01:27:18,013 --> 01:27:20,012
I never told her
how he was killed.
1407
01:27:20,014 --> 01:27:22,007
She assumed it was
a car accident.
1408
01:27:22,009 --> 01:27:23,015
- I didn't correct her.
- Unbelievable.
1409
01:27:23,017 --> 01:27:25,003
What's unbelievable?
1410
01:27:25,005 --> 01:27:27,007
You still haven't told your
parents you're gay.
1411
01:27:27,009 --> 01:27:29,009
Bisexual. Thank you.
1412
01:27:29,011 --> 01:27:31,017
I told my mother
when I was 13.
1413
01:27:31,019 --> 01:27:35,007
- You knew when you were 13?
- At 13, I knew everything.
1414
01:27:35,009 --> 01:27:38,001
Senility set in
sometime after.
1415
01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:39,023
'Hello, Murray? Hi.'
1416
01:27:40,001 --> 01:27:43,014
Listen, I won't be
coming over today, man.
1417
01:27:43,016 --> 01:27:46,008
I got a temperature.
And, um..
1418
01:27:46,010 --> 01:27:48,015
...Arnold told me
to stay here in bed.
1419
01:27:48,017 --> 01:27:52,000
Yeah. Oh, it's terrible.
At least 102.
1420
01:27:52,002 --> 01:27:53,019
[coughs]
1421
01:27:53,021 --> 01:27:57,001
I got to go, Murray.
I'm very weak. Bye.
1422
01:28:13,003 --> 01:28:14,012
- Is this a playground?
- Yeah.
1423
01:28:14,014 --> 01:28:16,000
Thank you.
1424
01:28:16,002 --> 01:28:19,009
Was a pleasure meeting you all.
Not one who gave me a seat.
1425
01:28:19,011 --> 01:28:23,007
Thanks to you, gentlemen,
I now have varicose veins.
1426
01:28:32,003 --> 01:28:33,021
Wait, I got it.
1427
01:28:33,023 --> 01:28:35,007
- Hey!
- What?
1428
01:28:35,009 --> 01:28:37,013
- Help! Mugger!
- What? I'm not a mugger.
1429
01:28:37,015 --> 01:28:38,022
You're a rapist..
1430
01:28:39,000 --> 01:28:41,009
Would a rapist wear
a three-piece suit? Ouch.
1431
01:28:41,011 --> 01:28:43,022
How do I know? Maybe
you got a wedding after.
1432
01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:45,019
No, listen, Arnold
had to go somewhere.
1433
01:28:45,021 --> 01:28:48,017
So I waited for you, incase
you got here before him.
1434
01:28:48,019 --> 01:28:51,000
Oh. I'm sorry
I kicked you.
1435
01:28:51,002 --> 01:28:54,014
This is very, very nice
of you to meet me.
1436
01:28:54,016 --> 01:28:56,001
No sweat.
1437
01:28:56,003 --> 01:28:58,005
I see Arnold
left you his keys.
1438
01:28:58,007 --> 01:29:01,008
- I got my own set.
- Oh, really?
1439
01:29:02,012 --> 01:29:04,010
This is probably
none of my business
1440
01:29:04,012 --> 01:29:06,010
and I hope you don't
mind my asking.
1441
01:29:06,012 --> 01:29:08,018
- Just who the hell are you?
- I'm David.
1442
01:29:08,020 --> 01:29:13,021
- David. The neighbor's kid?
- I live with Arnold.
1443
01:29:16,004 --> 01:29:18,019
- Would you like a drink?
- Maybe later.
1444
01:29:18,021 --> 01:29:21,015
Come on in.
1445
01:29:21,017 --> 01:29:23,021
We've got everything
all worked out for you
1446
01:29:23,023 --> 01:29:25,020
even with Ed staying here.
1447
01:29:25,022 --> 01:29:29,005
- Ed?
- Arnold's friend.
1448
01:29:29,007 --> 01:29:31,017
Friend friend or
euphemism friend?
1449
01:29:31,019 --> 01:29:34,014
He used to be a euphemism.
Now he's just a friend.
1450
01:29:34,016 --> 01:29:36,013
But with you
stayin' here
1451
01:29:36,015 --> 01:29:38,020
they'll both be sleeping
on the couch.
1452
01:29:38,022 --> 01:29:40,010
Who knows?
1453
01:29:43,019 --> 01:29:47,014
- Have they got water here?
- Sure.
1454
01:29:47,016 --> 01:29:50,005
We cleaned all week for you.
What do you think?
1455
01:29:50,007 --> 01:29:53,007
I think we should sit down.
1456
01:29:53,009 --> 01:29:56,010
Eh, David, tell me,
you go to school?
1457
01:29:56,012 --> 01:29:57,015
Yeah.
1458
01:29:57,017 --> 01:29:59,014
Hey, are these oranges
from Florida?
1459
01:29:59,016 --> 01:30:02,016
Cuba. We were hijacked.
But I'm not one to complain.
1460
01:30:02,018 --> 01:30:04,020
- Funny.
- Ha ha. Thanks.
1461
01:30:08,007 --> 01:30:09,021
So..
1462
01:30:09,023 --> 01:30:12,009
- You go to college?
- High school.
1463
01:30:12,011 --> 01:30:15,003
High school, how nice.
1464
01:30:15,005 --> 01:30:18,003
- Senior?
- Freshman.
1465
01:30:18,005 --> 01:30:19,015
[whispers]
Freshman.
1466
01:30:19,017 --> 01:30:21,018
That's very sweet.
1467
01:30:21,020 --> 01:30:25,009
Tell me, David,
just how old are you?
1468
01:30:25,011 --> 01:30:28,004
Sixteen!
1469
01:30:28,006 --> 01:30:29,022
In two months.
1470
01:30:33,002 --> 01:30:35,017
Something wrong?
1471
01:30:35,019 --> 01:30:37,001
Not at all.
1472
01:30:37,003 --> 01:30:39,011
Sixteen in two months.
That's wonderful.
1473
01:30:39,013 --> 01:30:41,021
You've got your life
ahead of you.
1474
01:30:41,023 --> 01:30:44,000
While mine is flashing
before my eyes.
1475
01:30:44,002 --> 01:30:47,015
- More water?
- More water.
1476
01:30:47,017 --> 01:30:49,012
David, darling..
1477
01:30:49,014 --> 01:30:52,009
Your parents, don't they
think you're a little young
1478
01:30:52,011 --> 01:30:54,020
to be out in the world
all alone?
1479
01:30:54,022 --> 01:30:56,016
No.
1480
01:30:56,018 --> 01:30:59,018
But juvenile court did.
So, here I am.
1481
01:31:02,010 --> 01:31:04,022
I need to talk
to Arnold.
1482
01:31:05,000 --> 01:31:08,011
You could call the school, he
had to meet with my principal.
1483
01:31:08,013 --> 01:31:10,017
You mean real people
know you live here?
1484
01:31:10,019 --> 01:31:14,021
Why not? Lots of people
live with their fathers.
1485
01:31:14,023 --> 01:31:19,005
- Live with their what?
- Their fathers.
1486
01:31:19,007 --> 01:31:20,013
Hi, pop!
1487
01:31:25,003 --> 01:31:27,005
'So, mama tell me
all about Florida.'
1488
01:31:27,007 --> 01:31:29,010
Anyone special
in your life?
1489
01:31:29,012 --> 01:31:31,018
Not particularly.
1490
01:31:31,020 --> 01:31:33,013
This Ed, he got married,
didn't he?
1491
01:31:33,015 --> 01:31:36,002
Right. So, how come
you're not seeing anyone?
1492
01:31:36,004 --> 01:31:38,019
Because the last thing
I need is to become nursemaid
1493
01:31:38,021 --> 01:31:40,017
to some alter kocker.
1494
01:31:40,019 --> 01:31:42,018
So how come he's
staying with you?
1495
01:31:42,020 --> 01:31:44,023
He and his wife
are separated.
1496
01:31:45,001 --> 01:31:47,014
- Separated. How come?
- I don't know.
1497
01:31:47,016 --> 01:31:49,014
Arnold, the man is
living with you.
1498
01:31:49,016 --> 01:31:51,019
- He stayed on the couch.
- So are you.
1499
01:31:51,021 --> 01:31:54,018
- 'Cause your in my room.'
- 'You're involved.'
1500
01:31:54,020 --> 01:31:55,022
Ma!
1501
01:31:56,000 --> 01:31:58,001
You must admit it
sounds a little queer.
1502
01:31:58,003 --> 01:32:01,013
A man leaves his wife and
moves in with his old friend.
1503
01:32:01,015 --> 01:32:04,013
I don't think the people who
gave you David would approve.
1504
01:32:04,015 --> 01:32:06,008
You wanna just drive.
1505
01:32:06,010 --> 01:32:08,017
You've taken on a tremendous
responsibility with this boy.
1506
01:32:08,019 --> 01:32:10,018
You have to set him
a good example.
1507
01:32:10,020 --> 01:32:14,002
Giving a friend a place
to stay is a bad example?
1508
01:32:14,004 --> 01:32:16,015
I knew I should have kept
my mouth to myself.
1509
01:32:16,017 --> 01:32:18,018
Anyway, it's only
for a few more weeks.
1510
01:32:18,020 --> 01:32:20,017
What's for
a few more weeks?
1511
01:32:20,019 --> 01:32:23,013
You said he was with you
on a one year basis.
1512
01:32:23,015 --> 01:32:25,013
So, it's already
more than 10 months.
1513
01:32:25,015 --> 01:32:27,012
So, what do you
think happens then?
1514
01:32:27,014 --> 01:32:29,013
- He leaves.
- No, ma. You misunderstood.
1515
01:32:29,015 --> 01:32:32,000
Yes, David's with me on
a one year trial basis
1516
01:32:32,002 --> 01:32:35,005
but after that if we agree and
Bureau Of Child Welfare allows
1517
01:32:35,007 --> 01:32:37,003
I'm going to
legally adopt him.
1518
01:32:37,005 --> 01:32:39,023
Believe me, ma, if I have
anything to say about it.
1519
01:32:40,001 --> 01:32:42,000
- David's not leaving.
- Stop the car.
1520
01:32:42,002 --> 01:32:44,005
Frankly, you've
done crazy things--
1521
01:32:44,007 --> 01:32:45,022
Adopting David is
not a crazy thing.
1522
01:32:46,000 --> 01:32:48,023
It is a wonderful thing.
I happen to be very proud of.
1523
01:32:49,001 --> 01:32:51,023
If your so proud, how come
you're ashamed to tell me.
1524
01:32:52,001 --> 01:32:53,010
Everything else you tell me.
1525
01:32:53,012 --> 01:32:55,012
You shove your sex
life down my throat.
1526
01:32:55,014 --> 01:32:56,018
Every hour on the hour.
1527
01:32:56,020 --> 01:33:00,000
But all this time,
not a word. Why?
1528
01:33:00,002 --> 01:33:02,004
Your not an easy person
to talk to.
1529
01:33:02,006 --> 01:33:04,017
Why? Do I tell you
how to run your life?
1530
01:33:04,019 --> 01:33:07,012
Listen to me, my son,
I realized a long time ago
1531
01:33:07,014 --> 01:33:10,001
that no matter what
I thought or how I felt
1532
01:33:10,003 --> 01:33:12,022
you and your brother were
gonna do exactly as you felt.
1533
01:33:13,000 --> 01:33:15,004
You want to know why
you didn't tell me?
1534
01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:18,006
- Because you knew it was wrong.
- That is not true.
1535
01:33:18,008 --> 01:33:21,005
No? Why?
1536
01:33:21,007 --> 01:33:24,003
I don't know.
1537
01:33:24,005 --> 01:33:25,018
So what else is new?
1538
01:33:49,018 --> 01:33:52,011
[speaking in foreign language]
1539
01:33:56,006 --> 01:33:59,017
That's it. Honestly, I've had it
up to here with you.
1540
01:33:59,019 --> 01:34:03,009
Your father left these plots to
you, this is what you want to do
1541
01:34:03,011 --> 01:34:05,006
with them, fine.
That's your business.
1542
01:34:05,008 --> 01:34:08,017
I will not stand here and watch
you spit on your father's grave!
1543
01:34:08,019 --> 01:34:11,012
- What?
- What you think you're doing?
1544
01:34:11,014 --> 01:34:13,017
- What do you--
- What are you doing?
1545
01:34:13,019 --> 01:34:15,017
I'm doing the same
thing you're doing.
1546
01:34:15,019 --> 01:34:17,019
No! I'm reciting Kaddish
for my husband.
1547
01:34:17,021 --> 01:34:19,017
You're blaspheming
your religion.
1548
01:34:19,019 --> 01:34:22,010
You know who this is?
This is my lover.
1549
01:34:22,012 --> 01:34:25,022
Wait. Wait. Wait.
1550
01:34:26,000 --> 01:34:28,013
You're gonna compare my
marriage to you and Alan?
1551
01:34:28,015 --> 01:34:30,019
Your father and I were
married for 35 years
1552
01:34:30,021 --> 01:34:33,012
we'd two children together, you
dare compare yourself to that?
1553
01:34:33,014 --> 01:34:36,008
- I'm talking about the loss.
- What loss did you have?
1554
01:34:36,010 --> 01:34:38,014
You fooled around
with some boy.
1555
01:34:38,016 --> 01:34:41,021
Where do you come to compare
with a marriage of 35 years?
1556
01:34:41,023 --> 01:34:45,019
Come on, Arnold. This isn't one
of your pals you're talking to.
1557
01:34:45,021 --> 01:34:47,018
I lost someone
I loved very much.
1558
01:34:47,020 --> 01:34:50,013
So you felt bad. Maybe
you even cried a little.
1559
01:34:50,015 --> 01:34:54,005
What would you know what I felt?
35 years I lived with this man.
1560
01:34:54,007 --> 01:34:56,011
He got sick, I took him
to the hospital.
1561
01:34:56,013 --> 01:34:59,014
You know what they gave me back?
I gave them a man.
1562
01:34:59,016 --> 01:35:02,002
They gave me a place
to visit on holy days.
1563
01:35:02,004 --> 01:35:04,002
How could you possibly
know how I felt?
1564
01:35:04,004 --> 01:35:07,007
It took two months before I
could sleep in our bed alone.
1565
01:35:07,009 --> 01:35:09,007
And a year, it took me a year
1566
01:35:09,009 --> 01:35:11,011
before I could say,
I instead of we.
1567
01:35:11,013 --> 01:35:13,016
And you're gonna tell me
you are mourning.
1568
01:35:13,018 --> 01:35:15,011
How dare you!
1569
01:35:15,013 --> 01:35:18,014
You're right, ma.
How dare I?
1570
01:35:18,016 --> 01:35:21,010
I couldn't possibly know how it
feels to take somebody's things
1571
01:35:21,012 --> 01:35:25,015
put it in plastic bags and watch
garbage men take 'em away.
1572
01:35:25,017 --> 01:35:27,011
Or how it feels
when you forget
1573
01:35:27,013 --> 01:35:29,018
and you set him his place
at the table.
1574
01:35:29,020 --> 01:35:32,002
How about the food that rots
in the refrigerator
1575
01:35:32,004 --> 01:35:34,005
'cause you forgot how
to shop for one.
1576
01:35:34,007 --> 01:35:36,003
How dare I, right, ma?
How dare I?
1577
01:35:36,005 --> 01:35:39,016
Believe me, ma, you had it easy.
You had 35 years together, ma.
1578
01:35:39,018 --> 01:35:41,017
You have friends,
you have relatives.
1579
01:35:41,019 --> 01:35:43,019
You know who I had?
I had me.
1580
01:35:43,021 --> 01:35:45,007
You know what
my friend said?
1581
01:35:45,009 --> 01:35:47,010
What the fuck are you
carrying on about?
1582
01:35:47,012 --> 01:35:50,013
At least you had a lover.
That's right. You had it easy.
1583
01:35:50,015 --> 01:35:52,020
You lost your husband in
a nice, clean hospital.
1584
01:35:52,022 --> 01:35:55,007
You know where I lost mine?
On the street.
1585
01:35:55,009 --> 01:35:57,008
That's right. They killed him
on the street.
1586
01:35:57,010 --> 01:35:59,020
Twenty seven years old,
laying dead on the street.
1587
01:35:59,022 --> 01:36:02,008
Killed by a bunch of kids
with baseball bats.
1588
01:36:02,010 --> 01:36:04,008
That's right, ma.
Killed by children.
1589
01:36:04,010 --> 01:36:06,007
Children taught
by people like you
1590
01:36:06,009 --> 01:36:08,021
'cause everybody knows
that queers don't matter.
1591
01:36:08,023 --> 01:36:10,008
Queers don't love!
1592
01:36:10,010 --> 01:36:13,013
And those that do,
deserve what they get.
1593
01:36:50,022 --> 01:36:52,010
Taxi!
1594
01:36:54,004 --> 01:36:56,005
[dramatic music]
1595
01:37:02,023 --> 01:37:04,006
'Action!'
1596
01:37:04,008 --> 01:37:06,010
[knocking on door]
1597
01:37:08,007 --> 01:37:10,008
[knocking continues]
1598
01:37:12,013 --> 01:37:14,005
I'll get it.
1599
01:37:14,007 --> 01:37:16,008
[knocking continues]
1600
01:37:21,016 --> 01:37:23,011
You must be Ed.
1601
01:37:23,013 --> 01:37:26,007
How do you do?
I'm the mother.
1602
01:37:32,005 --> 01:37:34,007
Nice to have met you.
1603
01:37:35,008 --> 01:37:36,014
Whoops.
1604
01:37:38,003 --> 01:37:39,014
Whoops?
1605
01:37:39,016 --> 01:37:43,003
Ed, did you say
"whoops?"
1606
01:37:43,005 --> 01:37:45,000
No, Ed.
1607
01:37:45,002 --> 01:37:49,002
Whoops is when you fall down
an elevator shaft.
1608
01:37:49,004 --> 01:37:54,002
Whoops is when you skinny dip
in a school of piranha.
1609
01:37:54,004 --> 01:38:00,001
Whoops is when you accidentally
douche with Drano.
1610
01:38:01,015 --> 01:38:02,015
'No, Ed.'
1611
01:38:02,017 --> 01:38:05,015
This was no whoops.
1612
01:38:05,017 --> 01:38:08,019
This was an argh.
1613
01:38:08,021 --> 01:38:11,001
Come on, David.
We're dining out.
1614
01:38:11,003 --> 01:38:12,011
Good idea.
1615
01:38:14,014 --> 01:38:15,021
Good Luck.
1616
01:38:27,001 --> 01:38:29,010
Round Two.
1617
01:38:38,008 --> 01:38:40,002
Mama.
1618
01:38:40,004 --> 01:38:43,016
You can come out now. We got
the whole joint to fight in.
1619
01:38:43,018 --> 01:38:47,013
'Enjoy yourself.
I'm going to bed.'
1620
01:38:47,015 --> 01:38:50,012
Ma, I'm sorry
I lost my temper.
1621
01:38:50,014 --> 01:38:53,016
'I'm glad
you're sorry.'
1622
01:38:53,018 --> 01:38:57,005
Mama, we've gotta
talk about this.
1623
01:38:57,007 --> 01:38:59,007
You don't wanna talk,
you want to fight.
1624
01:38:59,009 --> 01:39:01,006
I don't fight
with my children.
1625
01:39:01,008 --> 01:39:03,015
Did you ever hear your
father and me fight?
1626
01:39:03,017 --> 01:39:05,013
No. And you wanna know why?
1627
01:39:05,015 --> 01:39:07,015
Because all my childhood
I listened to fights.
1628
01:39:07,017 --> 01:39:09,002
My father fought
with my mother.
1629
01:39:09,004 --> 01:39:11,008
Mother fought with my brother.
Brother fought with me.
1630
01:39:11,010 --> 01:39:15,004
When I married I said, "Jack,
I will talk, but won't fight."
1631
01:39:15,006 --> 01:39:18,021
Did you ever hear us fight? No!
And now you know why.
1632
01:39:30,010 --> 01:39:31,018
And don't holler.
1633
01:39:31,020 --> 01:39:34,003
People say things they don't
mean when they holler
1634
01:39:34,005 --> 01:39:36,001
and you've said
quite enough.
1635
01:39:36,003 --> 01:39:38,015
I won't holler. You just
hit a wrong nerve before.
1636
01:39:38,017 --> 01:39:41,013
We will not discuss
Alan or daddy.
1637
01:39:41,015 --> 01:39:42,022
Only David.
1638
01:39:43,000 --> 01:39:46,023
Arnold, darling, what do you
know from raising a child?
1639
01:39:47,001 --> 01:39:49,009
What's to know? Whenever
there's a problem
1640
01:39:49,011 --> 01:39:52,011
I simply imagine how
you would solve it.
1641
01:39:52,013 --> 01:39:55,009
And then I do
the opposite.
1642
01:39:55,011 --> 01:39:57,023
That's what you invited
me here for to insult me
1643
01:39:58,001 --> 01:40:00,001
and spit on your
father's grave?
1644
01:40:00,003 --> 01:40:01,006
Oh, ma. God.
1645
01:40:01,008 --> 01:40:03,013
Arnold, you live your life
the way you want.
1646
01:40:03,015 --> 01:40:06,014
I put my fist in my mouth,
I don't say a word.
1647
01:40:06,016 --> 01:40:09,010
But think about the boy.
He sees you living like this.
1648
01:40:09,012 --> 01:40:12,003
'Don't you think it's
bound to affect him?'
1649
01:40:12,005 --> 01:40:15,023
Ma, David is gay.
1650
01:40:17,005 --> 01:40:19,022
He's been here
less than a year.
1651
01:40:20,000 --> 01:40:22,013
He came that way.
1652
01:40:22,015 --> 01:40:25,006
Nobody comes that way.
1653
01:40:25,008 --> 01:40:27,022
What an opening.
1654
01:40:28,000 --> 01:40:29,021
Everything by you
is a joke.
1655
01:40:29,023 --> 01:40:31,022
The world has
gone completely insane
1656
01:40:32,000 --> 01:40:33,018
and I'm heading
south for summer.
1657
01:40:33,020 --> 01:40:36,003
You make it difficult to have
an intelligent conversation.
1658
01:40:36,005 --> 01:40:38,012
You want an intelligent
conversation? Do what I do.
1659
01:40:38,014 --> 01:40:40,009
Talk to yourself.
It's the only way.
1660
01:40:40,011 --> 01:40:42,022
Don't you understand the whole
reason David was placed here
1661
01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:46,014
so that he grows with a positive
attitude of his homosexuality.
1662
01:40:46,016 --> 01:40:48,021
Arnold, gay gives into hate.
I don't care anymore.
1663
01:40:48,023 --> 01:40:51,016
You're not gonna put me in
my grave like your father.
1664
01:40:51,018 --> 01:40:54,000
- Now I killed my father.
- No, of course not.
1665
01:40:54,002 --> 01:40:56,012
He was thrilled to have
a fairy for a son.
1666
01:40:56,014 --> 01:40:59,006
You walk into a room and say
"Hi, dad. I'm queer."
1667
01:40:59,008 --> 01:41:02,015
And that's that? Is that why we
brought you into the world for?
1668
01:41:02,017 --> 01:41:05,011
Believe me, if I had known
I wouldn't have bothered.
1669
01:41:11,003 --> 01:41:13,004
[sobbing]
1670
01:41:26,008 --> 01:41:28,005
God should tear out my tongue
1671
01:41:28,007 --> 01:41:30,013
I should talk to
my child like that.
1672
01:41:31,023 --> 01:41:34,021
Arnold, you're a good person.
1673
01:41:34,023 --> 01:41:37,012
A sensitive person with a heart
kinda like your father.
1674
01:41:37,014 --> 01:41:41,012
I try to love you and forget
this, but you won't let me.
1675
01:41:41,014 --> 01:41:44,023
You haven't spoken one sentence
without the word gay in it.
1676
01:41:45,001 --> 01:41:46,012
'Cause it's what I am.
1677
01:41:46,014 --> 01:41:49,004
If that's all, leave it
in there where it belongs.
1678
01:41:49,006 --> 01:41:50,021
But you're obsessed with it.
1679
01:41:50,023 --> 01:41:54,008
You're not happy unless
everybody's talking about it.
1680
01:41:54,010 --> 01:41:56,014
Try and imagine the world
the other way around.
1681
01:41:56,016 --> 01:41:59,021
Imagine that every book,
every magazine, every TV show
1682
01:41:59,023 --> 01:42:04,007
every movie, was telling you,
you should be homosexual.
1683
01:42:04,009 --> 01:42:06,020
You know you're not.
You know to you this is--
1684
01:42:06,022 --> 01:42:08,021
Stop already.
You're talking crazy.
1685
01:42:08,023 --> 01:42:10,020
You wanna know
what's crazy?
1686
01:42:10,022 --> 01:42:12,022
After all these years,
I'm still sitting here
1687
01:42:13,000 --> 01:42:14,022
trying to justify my life.
This is crazy.
1688
01:42:15,000 --> 01:42:17,006
You call this a life?
This is a sickness.
1689
01:42:17,008 --> 01:42:19,007
But it's what you've
chosen for yourself.
1690
01:42:19,009 --> 01:42:21,007
Ma, look, I'm gay.
I don't know why.
1691
01:42:21,009 --> 01:42:23,017
I don't think anyone does.
That's what I am.
1692
01:42:23,019 --> 01:42:25,012
Far as I can remember
1693
01:42:25,014 --> 01:42:27,019
before I knew it was different
or even wrong--
1694
01:42:27,021 --> 01:42:29,020
You have not heard
one word I've said.
1695
01:42:29,022 --> 01:42:32,003
I know you'd rather
I was straight. I'm not.
1696
01:42:32,005 --> 01:42:34,013
'Would you also rather
I'd lied to you?'
1697
01:42:34,015 --> 01:42:37,004
My friend, Ed would never dream
of telling his parents.
1698
01:42:37,006 --> 01:42:39,010
Instead he cut his parents
out of his life.
1699
01:42:39,012 --> 01:42:42,006
And his parents wonder why.
Why is my child so distant?
1700
01:42:42,008 --> 01:42:44,000
- Is that what you rather?
- No.
1701
01:42:44,002 --> 01:42:46,019
But it doesn't have to be our
every conversation either.
1702
01:42:46,021 --> 01:42:48,019
You wanna be a part of my life
1703
01:42:48,021 --> 01:42:51,001
I'm not editing out
the things you don't like.
1704
01:42:51,003 --> 01:42:52,019
- Can we end this conversation?
- No!
1705
01:42:52,021 --> 01:42:55,004
God..
1706
01:42:55,006 --> 01:42:58,010
There's one more thing you
better understand.
1707
01:42:58,012 --> 01:43:01,000
I've taught myself to sew, cook,
fix plumbing, build furniture
1708
01:43:01,002 --> 01:43:03,014
I can even pat myself
on the back when necessary.
1709
01:43:03,016 --> 01:43:06,004
All so I don't have to ask
anyone for anything.
1710
01:43:06,006 --> 01:43:08,003
There's nothing I need
from anyone
1711
01:43:08,005 --> 01:43:10,003
except for love and respect.
1712
01:43:10,005 --> 01:43:12,012
And anyone who can't give me
those two things
1713
01:43:12,014 --> 01:43:15,013
has no place in my life.
1714
01:43:20,010 --> 01:43:23,007
You're my mother.
1715
01:43:23,009 --> 01:43:25,013
'I love you.'
1716
01:43:25,015 --> 01:43:30,013
I do, but..
1717
01:43:30,015 --> 01:43:34,015
If you can't respect me, you've
got no business being here.
1718
01:43:40,005 --> 01:43:42,022
- You're throwing me out?
- Ma, I'm trying to--
1719
01:43:43,000 --> 01:43:45,013
Throwing me out.
Isn't that nice?
1720
01:43:45,015 --> 01:43:46,021
Listen, mister.
1721
01:43:46,023 --> 01:43:49,022
You get one mother in
this world. Only one.
1722
01:43:50,000 --> 01:43:52,014
Wait. You just wait.
1723
01:44:02,001 --> 01:44:04,014
- 'Yeah, hello.'
- Ed, it's Murray.
1724
01:44:04,016 --> 01:44:06,018
- Is Arnold there?
- Well, isn't he at work?
1725
01:44:06,020 --> 01:44:08,020
'He ran outta here
after the first show'
1726
01:44:08,022 --> 01:44:11,015
'and he never came back.
Where would he go?'
1727
01:44:15,013 --> 01:44:18,015
Where you going, boys?
I just got here.
1728
01:44:28,011 --> 01:44:30,009
Hello, boys.
Line forms to the left.
1729
01:44:30,011 --> 01:44:32,009
- Arnold, come on.
- What?
1730
01:44:32,011 --> 01:44:34,008
Say goodnight
to your friends.
1731
01:44:34,010 --> 01:44:36,023
- Come on, we're going home.
- I had you.
1732
01:44:37,001 --> 01:44:39,018
I don't want to go home.
She's there.
1733
01:44:41,006 --> 01:44:43,001
Spring and Thomson.
1734
01:44:47,000 --> 01:44:48,008
Your mother said
she's leaving.
1735
01:44:48,010 --> 01:44:49,020
[blowing raspberry]
1736
01:44:49,022 --> 01:44:51,014
She didn't want
to stay the night
1737
01:44:51,016 --> 01:44:53,022
but she couldn't get
a flight out till morning.
1738
01:44:54,000 --> 01:44:56,007
She was gonna spend
the night at the airport
1739
01:44:56,009 --> 01:44:58,007
but I got her calmed down.
1740
01:44:58,009 --> 01:45:00,012
She'd stay,
if you asked her.
1741
01:45:02,023 --> 01:45:05,001
Why did you get drunk?
1742
01:45:06,021 --> 01:45:09,008
Hello? Anybody home?
1743
01:45:09,010 --> 01:45:11,014
Sometimes you really
frighten me, Ed.
1744
01:45:14,021 --> 01:45:18,001
You care to talk
about it, huh?
1745
01:45:18,003 --> 01:45:20,007
I am upset.
I am uptight.
1746
01:45:20,009 --> 01:45:23,005
I am up to my nipples
in southern comfort.
1747
01:45:23,007 --> 01:45:27,005
And you're trying to
take advantage of me.
1748
01:45:27,007 --> 01:45:29,009
Fine.
1749
01:45:36,009 --> 01:45:39,005
I want another chance with you.
Arnold, please listen to me.
1750
01:45:39,007 --> 01:45:41,006
Look, Arnold.
I'm 40 years old.
1751
01:45:41,008 --> 01:45:42,022
You know what
that means, Arnold?
1752
01:45:43,000 --> 01:45:46,002
It means it's time for me
to stop jerking around.
1753
01:45:46,004 --> 01:45:48,001
The time I've spent
with you and David
1754
01:45:48,003 --> 01:45:54,003
it's been...the closest thing
to whatever it is I want.
1755
01:45:56,022 --> 01:45:59,000
Are you listening to me?
1756
01:46:04,008 --> 01:46:06,010
(taxi driver)
$2.25
1757
01:46:08,007 --> 01:46:09,011
Thanks.
1758
01:46:09,013 --> 01:46:11,015
Look, I know you're upset
about your mother.
1759
01:46:11,017 --> 01:46:12,022
That's not it.
1760
01:46:13,000 --> 01:46:14,021
Then maybe it's
too soon after Alan.
1761
01:46:14,023 --> 01:46:17,005
- Ed, leave me alone.
- But then what?
1762
01:46:21,004 --> 01:46:24,022
Ed, are you forgetting why we
broke up in the first place?
1763
01:46:25,000 --> 01:46:28,015
You really think that you could
bring your friends here?
1764
01:46:28,017 --> 01:46:31,023
You think that you could
introduce me to your parents
1765
01:46:32,001 --> 01:46:37,016
as your lover,
and David as our son?
1766
01:46:39,003 --> 01:46:40,021
Ed.
1767
01:46:40,023 --> 01:46:46,017
Angel, I just threw my mother,
my mother, out of the house.
1768
01:46:46,019 --> 01:46:50,003
All she wanted was
not talk about it.
1769
01:46:50,005 --> 01:46:54,002
'You really think I'm going
to ask less from you?'
1770
01:47:10,011 --> 01:47:12,020
(male announcer on radio)
'We've got a dedication now'
1771
01:47:12,022 --> 01:47:15,001
'from Beulah to Michael.'
1772
01:47:15,003 --> 01:47:18,013
'Thinking of you.'
1773
01:47:21,023 --> 01:47:23,020
I ever tell you
about the time
1774
01:47:23,022 --> 01:47:26,013
that Alan called in
one of these shows?
1775
01:47:26,015 --> 01:47:28,010
You told me.
1776
01:47:28,012 --> 01:47:31,012
And how they read
the dedication wrong?
1777
01:47:31,014 --> 01:47:33,000
You told me.
1778
01:47:33,002 --> 01:47:35,019
Oh, it was so romantic.
1779
01:47:35,021 --> 01:47:38,011
You told me.
1780
01:47:38,013 --> 01:47:40,011
Come on, champ.
Breakfast's on me.
1781
01:47:40,013 --> 01:47:43,004
Do we ever get to have
a real meal again?
1782
01:47:43,006 --> 01:47:45,004
Oh, let's go.
1783
01:47:45,006 --> 01:47:47,018
Wait up, then. I've got
to do something first.
1784
01:47:54,003 --> 01:47:55,005
Listen, um..
1785
01:47:55,007 --> 01:47:58,003
What we talked
about last night.
1786
01:47:58,005 --> 01:48:01,011
I think it's time
to find out.
1787
01:48:01,013 --> 01:48:03,014
I love you, Arnold.
1788
01:48:11,000 --> 01:48:13,018
Ahem, Um..
David are you coming?
1789
01:48:13,020 --> 01:48:15,022
In a minute!
1790
01:48:16,000 --> 01:48:18,017
It was a pleasure meeting you,
Mrs. Beckoff.
1791
01:48:18,019 --> 01:48:20,015
Pleasure was mine, Ed.
1792
01:48:20,017 --> 01:48:23,003
I hope you and your wife
come to your senses.
1793
01:48:23,005 --> 01:48:25,003
Couples have to learn
to live with conflict.
1794
01:48:25,005 --> 01:48:29,005
After all, a problem is never
as permanent as a solution.
1795
01:48:31,023 --> 01:48:33,009
Thank You.
1796
01:48:33,011 --> 01:48:35,010
David.
1797
01:48:35,012 --> 01:48:39,018
Well, young man,
it's been an experience.
1798
01:48:39,020 --> 01:48:40,022
Same here.
1799
01:48:41,000 --> 01:48:42,023
Sorry, I scared you
yesterday.
1800
01:48:43,001 --> 01:48:46,004
Maybe someday I can
do the same for you.
1801
01:48:53,017 --> 01:48:55,014
I'll be leaving
myself now.
1802
01:48:55,016 --> 01:48:57,020
Ma, you don't have to go.
You can stay.
1803
01:48:57,022 --> 01:49:00,008
What? With your brother?
No. It's better he doesn't know.
1804
01:49:00,010 --> 01:49:03,014
I'll call him from Miami, tell
him I couldn't come this week.
1805
01:49:03,016 --> 01:49:07,005
No, I'll call him and I'm gonna
tell him what happened.
1806
01:49:07,007 --> 01:49:09,004
You want to turn him
against me too?
1807
01:49:09,006 --> 01:49:12,015
What else do you wanna do? You
want me to leave? I'm leaving.
1808
01:49:12,017 --> 01:49:14,015
You want me to fight?
I'm too tired.
1809
01:49:14,017 --> 01:49:17,002
You want me to change?
I'm too old. I can't.
1810
01:49:17,004 --> 01:49:21,017
So, you do what you have to do.
And I'll do what I have to do.
1811
01:49:21,019 --> 01:49:25,006
- And I hope you're satisfied.
- Oh, God.
1812
01:49:25,008 --> 01:49:29,003
If I had opened a mouth to my
mother the way you did to me
1813
01:49:29,005 --> 01:49:31,023
you'd be talking to a woman
with a size six wedgie
1814
01:49:32,001 --> 01:49:33,020
sticking out of her forehead.
1815
01:49:33,022 --> 01:49:35,020
'I didn't raise
my children like that.'
1816
01:49:35,022 --> 01:49:38,019
I wanted my children to respect
me because they wanted to.
1817
01:49:38,021 --> 01:49:40,015
Not because I beat it into them.
1818
01:49:40,017 --> 01:49:42,017
We're going to start this
all over again?
1819
01:49:42,019 --> 01:49:45,018
Yes! Because it's not fair
to put all the blame on me.
1820
01:49:45,020 --> 01:49:49,016
You think I didn't know about
you? Believe me, I knew, I knew.
1821
01:49:49,018 --> 01:49:52,007
But I said, no. I hoped.
1822
01:49:52,009 --> 01:49:54,020
What's the difference?
I knew when I turned my back.
1823
01:49:54,022 --> 01:49:58,004
But I wasn't the only one,
you turned your back on me too.
1824
01:49:58,006 --> 01:50:00,020
You opened a mouth to me
about your friend, Alan.
1825
01:50:00,022 --> 01:50:02,016
How was I supposed to know?
1826
01:50:02,018 --> 01:50:04,016
All of a sudden,
you would have understood?
1827
01:50:04,018 --> 01:50:07,018
Maybe, you don't know. You never
trusted me enough to tell me.
1828
01:50:07,020 --> 01:50:10,016
- You never said a word.
- So you could have said what?
1829
01:50:10,018 --> 01:50:12,015
"Ah, he's better
off dead," right?
1830
01:50:12,017 --> 01:50:16,012
Maybe I could have comforted
you, told you what to expect.
1831
01:50:16,014 --> 01:50:18,012
You cheated me
out of your life
1832
01:50:18,014 --> 01:50:20,022
and then blamed me
for not being there.
1833
01:50:38,020 --> 01:50:40,023
About this Ed..
1834
01:50:46,018 --> 01:50:48,016
...you love him?
1835
01:50:48,018 --> 01:50:50,007
I don't know.
1836
01:50:57,003 --> 01:51:00,015
Yeah, I think so.
1837
01:51:00,017 --> 01:51:02,019
Like you loved Alan?
1838
01:51:06,007 --> 01:51:08,017
No.
1839
01:51:08,019 --> 01:51:12,009
They're very different.
1840
01:51:12,011 --> 01:51:15,022
Anyway, it's easier to love
someone who's dead.
1841
01:51:16,000 --> 01:51:20,012
'They make
so few mistakes.'
1842
01:51:20,014 --> 01:51:23,020
You've got an unusual way of
looking at things, Arnold.
1843
01:51:23,022 --> 01:51:27,000
I think it runs
in the family.
1844
01:51:32,003 --> 01:51:33,009
Ma..
1845
01:51:37,020 --> 01:51:39,009
I miss him.
1846
01:51:48,012 --> 01:51:53,007
Give yourself time, Arnold.
It gets better.
1847
01:51:53,009 --> 01:51:56,005
But, Arnold,
it never goes away.
1848
01:51:56,007 --> 01:51:57,020
You can work longer hours
1849
01:51:57,022 --> 01:52:02,018
adopt a son, fight with me,
whatever. It'll still be there.
1850
01:52:02,020 --> 01:52:05,000
But that's alright,
it becomes a part of you
1851
01:52:05,002 --> 01:52:08,010
like learning to wear a ring
or a pair of eye glasses.
1852
01:52:11,021 --> 01:52:15,018
You get used to it
and it's good.
1853
01:52:15,020 --> 01:52:20,010
It's good because it makes
sure you don't forget.
1854
01:52:20,012 --> 01:52:24,018
You don't want to
forget him, do you?
1855
01:52:24,020 --> 01:52:27,011
No.
1856
01:52:27,013 --> 01:52:31,002
So it's good.
1857
01:52:31,004 --> 01:52:33,013
[telephone rings]
1858
01:52:33,015 --> 01:52:35,010
You'd better get that.
1859
01:52:35,012 --> 01:52:41,007
It might be something
about that son of yours.
1860
01:52:41,009 --> 01:52:43,010
[ringing continues]
1861
01:52:45,013 --> 01:52:46,021
Hello.
1862
01:52:46,023 --> 01:52:48,020
Oh, hi, Dav...what?
1863
01:52:48,022 --> 01:52:52,012
Alright. Yes, I'm turning.
Alright. I'm turning.
1864
01:52:52,014 --> 01:52:53,017
It's David.
1865
01:52:53,019 --> 01:52:55,016
Something about the radio.
1866
01:52:55,018 --> 01:52:57,022
'Turn it on.
Turn it on.'
1867
01:52:58,000 --> 01:53:01,016
(announcer on radio)
'No, I just checked with my
producer who took the call'
1868
01:53:01,018 --> 01:53:04,017
'he has confirmed. For whatever
it's worth, here it is.'
1869
01:53:04,019 --> 01:53:07,020
'A dedication from David to
Arnold. With all his love.'
1870
01:53:07,022 --> 01:53:10,007
[Ella Fitzgerald singing"This Time the Dream's on Me"]
1871
01:53:10,009 --> 01:53:11,016
♪ Somewhere someday ♪
1872
01:53:11,018 --> 01:53:13,012
You hear that, ma?
1873
01:53:13,014 --> 01:53:15,008
Stupid kid.
1874
01:53:15,010 --> 01:53:17,006
Oh, God, mama,
He's such a special..
1875
01:53:17,008 --> 01:53:20,022
♪ We'll be close together,
wait and see ♪
1876
01:53:21,000 --> 01:53:24,000
Ma, You're not
even listening.
1877
01:53:24,002 --> 01:53:29,010
♪ Oh, by the way ♪
1878
01:53:29,012 --> 01:53:33,022
♪ This time the dream's
are on me ♪
1879
01:53:37,017 --> 01:53:41,008
♪ You take my hand ♪
1880
01:53:41,010 --> 01:53:44,020
Mama.
1881
01:53:44,022 --> 01:53:51,001
♪ And you look at me adoringly ♪
1882
01:53:51,023 --> 01:53:57,022
♪ But as things stand ♪
1883
01:53:58,000 --> 01:54:03,014
♪ This time the dream's on me ♪
1884
01:54:05,023 --> 01:54:11,001
♪ It would be fun ♪
1885
01:54:12,022 --> 01:54:18,014
♪ To be certain that
I'm the one ♪
1886
01:54:20,003 --> 01:54:25,007
♪ To know that I at least ♪
1887
01:54:25,009 --> 01:54:31,015
♪ Supply the shoulder
you cry upon ♪
1888
01:54:34,013 --> 01:54:38,012
♪ To see you through ♪
1889
01:54:41,019 --> 01:54:45,002
♪ Till you're everything ♪
1890
01:54:45,004 --> 01:54:49,007
♪ You want to be ♪
1891
01:54:49,009 --> 01:54:53,018
♪ It can't be true ♪
1892
01:54:53,020 --> 01:54:57,009
♪ But this time ♪
1893
01:54:57,011 --> 01:55:02,019
♪ The dreams on me ♪
1894
01:55:02,021 --> 01:55:05,005
[music continues]
132046
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