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1
00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,051
Oh, hey.
What are you watching?
2
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,401
Oh, nothing.
Now that Malcolm's moved out,
3
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:13,187
I'm deleting all his shows
off the DVR.
4
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:16,016
[chuckles]:
60 Minutes,time's up.
5
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:19,019
Documentary
on the rain forest?
6
00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:21,238
Rain, rain, go away.
7
00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:23,110
Friends?
8
00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:26,243
I don't recall seeing
any of ourpeople on that.
9
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,028
Hey, hey!
10
00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,551
Iwas recording that show.
11
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:32,554
You know I love watching
white people invent problems.
12
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:36,906
I just want the DVR
to feel as free as I do.
13
00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:39,604
Like, no more arguments,
no more backtalk.
14
00:00:39,648 --> 00:00:42,390
The memory of Malcolm
living here is fading faster
15
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:45,828
than his butt-print
on that couch.
16
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:48,265
Well, actually,
that is exactly
17
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:50,746
what I wanted to
talk to you about.
18
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:53,357
Now that Malcolm's gone,
we're gonna have
19
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:55,620
a lot more time
where's it's just...
20
00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,100
you and me.
21
00:00:57,144 --> 00:01:00,103
Ooh. I get it.Mm-hmm.
22
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:03,063
So you're saying we could
get freaky wherever we want to.
23
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:05,108
What about...
what about this chair?
24
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:06,762
I mean,
or the kitchen?
25
00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:08,416
Maybe over by the fireplace.
26
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:13,116
I mean, where do you want
to make our first butt-print?
27
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,900
That is not
what I meant.
28
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:17,642
What I mean is, we're
free to focus on us.
29
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:19,557
You know, try new things,
30
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,559
expand our horizons.
31
00:01:21,603 --> 00:01:23,126
Oh.
32
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,824
Yeah, that just sounds
like a fancy way of saying:
33
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:28,392
doing stuff
that I don't like.
34
00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:30,829
Aw, come on, baby.
35
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:33,397
I was looking at community
college classes we could take.
36
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,138
Like here. Look.
37
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,184
An Introduction
to Drawing.
38
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:41,405
[sighs] Babe, look, I got
all the fun I need right here.
39
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,146
I got my chair,
I got my remote,
40
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:46,149
and an empty DVR to fill
with blooper shows.
41
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:48,238
I know that God loves
all His children,
42
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:51,546
but clearly,
He loves me more.
43
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:54,157
Okay, fine.
44
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,028
You could sit at
home and do nothing.
45
00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:59,293
I am going out
and expanding my horizons.
46
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:00,685
[chuckles]
47
00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:03,906
I'm expanding mine, too--
right here in this chair.
48
00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:07,039
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
49
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,302
♪ Welcome to the hood.
50
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,003
This is gonna be
so much fun!
51
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:16,397
[laughs]I can't believe Calvin
would rather sit at home
52
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,789
than come with us.
53
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:20,009
Yeah, his idea of fun
is watching blooper shows
54
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,315
with his buddy Ernie.
55
00:02:21,358 --> 00:02:23,578
I just don't understand
why men go so nuts
56
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:26,624
watching other men
get hit in the nuts.
57
00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:30,280
Well, his loss is my gain.
58
00:02:30,324 --> 00:02:32,282
What could be more fun
than spending an evening
59
00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:33,327
with my best friend,
60
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,198
doing art and drinking wine?
61
00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,243
Oh.
62
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,461
What are you
talking about?
63
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,115
They're not serving wine.I know.
64
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,291
But I am.
65
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:46,383
Just when I thought I knew you,
more ghetto shows up.
66
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:51,562
Okay. Welcome
to Introduction to Drawing.
67
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,869
I'm your instructor,
Deborah.
68
00:02:53,912 --> 00:02:55,958
I apologize
in advance.
69
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,568
We were supposed
to kick off tonight
70
00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,962
sketching a bowl of fruit,
but my boyfriend was too busy
71
00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:03,052
playing video games
to swing by Trader Joe's.
72
00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:06,795
So instead, we're gonna skip
right to figure drawing.
73
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,623
Please welcome our model,
74
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,059
Antonio.
75
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:16,065
Gemma, this guy's
just wearing a robe.
76
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:29,948
Not anymore.
77
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,779
Bishop takes knight.
78
00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,651
Or, as I like to call it,
79
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,087
"bish, please."
80
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:40,698
Well, call it what
you want, but...
81
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,309
checkmate.
82
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:43,919
Ha-ha!
83
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:46,008
Son of a bish!
84
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,879
Guys, you are
never gonna believe
85
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:49,881
what I found in
the basement.
86
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,970
[coughs, groans]
87
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,363
Um, what'd you find?
88
00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:55,235
It's an old manuscript
for a book Walter wrote.
89
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:57,280
He must have forgotten it
when he moved out.
90
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,368
Seriously?
91
00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,240
That cranky old dude
wrote a book?
92
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:01,589
What is it?
93
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,808
Calling People Dummies
For Dummies?
94
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:06,202
Actually, I think
it's a mystery novel.
95
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,552
Check out the title.
[clears throat]
96
00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:11,599
Dead Because of Murder.
97
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:14,515
Ha!
Well, if the murder weapon
98
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:17,822
was a terrible title,
I think we found it.
99
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,389
[chuckles]
Yeah, you know what?
100
00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:20,782
Read a little bit, Marty.
101
00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:22,914
Oh, this is gonna be hilarious.
102
00:04:22,958 --> 00:04:25,395
Okay, here we go.
Chapter one.
103
00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:28,311
"Standing there in the rain,
lightning streaked the sky.
104
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,487
"I stared at the woman
in the red dress
105
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:31,923
"and knew three things--
106
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:34,926
"she was young,
she was gorgeous,
107
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,059
and she was dead."
108
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:40,628
Damn, Walter,
that's pretty good.
109
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:41,846
Are you kidding me?
110
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,108
It's great.
111
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:46,024
That old son of a bish
can write.
112
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:47,809
Yeah, keep reading, Marty.
113
00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,158
Oh, don't worry, man,
there's no way
114
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,464
I'm putting
this down now.
115
00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,642
To us.Out loud,
116
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:56,208
Marty, come on.To us, Marty.
117
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,343
[loud clack on TV]
118
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:01,475
Oh!Ooh!
119
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:03,433
Ooh, a bat
to the crotch.
120
00:05:03,477 --> 00:05:05,783
That is hard to look at.
121
00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,872
Yeah, I know.
Let's watch it again.
122
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:08,786
Yeah.
123
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,048
[loud clack]
124
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,354
Oh!Aah!
125
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:12,790
Oh-ho-ho!Oh...
126
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,488
Hey, babe.
Hi, Ernie.
127
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:15,924
Hey, Tina.
128
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,708
Hi, baby.
How was your art class?
129
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,928
Ugh. It was crazy.
You're not gonna believe this,
130
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,799
but we had a nude model.
131
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,324
Nude? Oh.
How nude are we talking?
132
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:26,674
North of the border,
south of the border,
133
00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,980
or the whole country?
134
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,982
Well, let's just say
I saw everything
135
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,767
from sea to shining sea.
136
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:34,334
ERNIE:
Oh-ho,
137
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:37,598
in that case, allow me
to take a peruse of the map.
138
00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:38,990
Oh. Okay.
139
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,341
There we go.
140
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:42,994
Wait. Hold on.
141
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,996
This ain't no damn model.
142
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,998
It's a naked dude!
143
00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:48,609
What?
144
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:51,176
I know. I mean, I
was surprised, too,
145
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,831
but I did a really good job.
Look, Calvin.
146
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,920
Uh, yeah, almost too good.
147
00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:58,488
Baby, you're not
even looking at it.
148
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,970
Well, I will when you
draw him some pants.
149
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:03,188
Wait. Wait,
wait, wait.
150
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,625
You didn't know
that your wife
151
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:07,367
was gonna be staring
at a naked dude all night?
152
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:10,718
Talk about a bat to the crotch.
153
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,372
It's not like that, Ernie.
154
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,243
There's nothing sexual
about it.
155
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,854
It's just, to an artist,
he's a beautiful specimen
156
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,378
of the human form.
157
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:21,816
Mm-hmm. You can say
it's not sexual all you want,
158
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,383
but all my ex-wives
159
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:25,167
would have left
me for that.
160
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,082
And I just mean the picture.
161
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,477
Hey, are you cool
with this, Calvin?
162
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,347
Well, you know...
163
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,088
Of course he's cool with it.
164
00:06:33,131 --> 00:06:34,872
He's not insecure
like you, Ernie.
165
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,831
He's not threatened by this.
166
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,006
Right, Calvin?
167
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:39,399
Of course not.Yeah.
168
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,271
Huh. Why would I
be threatened by him?
169
00:06:42,314 --> 00:06:44,534
I mean, any man that
works out that much
170
00:06:44,578 --> 00:06:48,233
and is willing to pose nude
in front of strangers, well,
171
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:51,367
he's the one that's insecure.
172
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:54,718
See?
173
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,677
My baby gets it. Mwah!
174
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,940
[chuckles]
175
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:01,595
What?
176
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:05,120
Notice she took the
picture with her.
177
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,001
Oh, man. This is intense.
178
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:18,438
I know.
179
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:21,353
I may need you
to walk me home tonight.
180
00:07:23,138 --> 00:07:24,444
Will you two
be quiet?
181
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:27,011
I'm about to find out
who the killer is.
182
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:31,451
Hold up.
The box is empty.
183
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:32,234
What?
184
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:33,453
The last page is missing!
185
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:35,455
Just like
the chauffeur's left eye!
186
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:37,587
Are you kidding me?
187
00:07:37,631 --> 00:07:40,111
No, man,
the very last line says...
188
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:43,071
uh, "Standing there,
bloody knife in hand,
189
00:07:43,114 --> 00:07:45,203
was none other than..."
190
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,988
And then there's no more!
191
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:50,600
Oh, man, this sucks.
192
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,428
We just spent 12 hours
reading a whodunit,
193
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,996
and we don't get to find out
who done it?
194
00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:56,954
This is so frustrating.
195
00:07:56,998 --> 00:08:01,568
O-Okay, you guys,
it's not that big a deal.
196
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:04,135
I think it's pretty obvious
to all of us that the killer
197
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,310
was the personal chef.
198
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:06,486
What?!What?!
199
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,488
No, man, it was clearly
the pool boy.
200
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:10,185
That's why there were
bloody fingerprints
201
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,622
all over the inflatable swan.
202
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,406
You're both crazy.
203
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:17,714
It was obviously the bastard son
who was cut out of the will,
204
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,716
whose name was Will...
205
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,675
which was kind of
confusing for a while!
206
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:24,199
It was definitely not Will.Of course it was Will!
207
00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,506
[overlapping shouting]An inflatable swan?
208
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,508
Okay, okay.
209
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,163
Clearly,
there is only one person
210
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:34,731
who knows for sure
what the answer is.
211
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,211
And that's Walter.
212
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,169
Yeah, but we have
no idea where he is.
213
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:39,475
Yeah, all we know
214
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,085
is he moved
to a retirement community
215
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:44,219
in Palm Springs, and there's
got to be hundreds of them.
216
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:45,742
Okay, gentlemen, well...
217
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:48,528
sounds like we have a mystery
of our own to solve.
218
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,660
But first lock the door--
they just found
219
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,054
the chauffeur's missing eye,
and I am freakin' out!
220
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:01,541
Oh, hey, babe.
Whatcha doing?
221
00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,586
Working some more on my sketch.
222
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:07,024
Oh. So you're still doing
that thing I'm totally cool with
223
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,549
that doesn't bother me at all?
224
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:14,379
I was looking at it again, and
thought I could do a better job
225
00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,077
of shading
Antonio's muscles out.
226
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,382
Oh.
227
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,210
Antonio?
228
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,735
I'm guessing you didn't get that
off a name tag.
229
00:09:24,694 --> 00:09:27,784
You know, for some reason,
I just can't get this right.
230
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,264
Oh, well, it'll be easier
231
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:31,353
when I see him at class tonight.
232
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,311
Uh, he's gonna be there again?
233
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:35,226
Yeah. For the next couple
of sessions.
234
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,359
Last night was
about basic form.
235
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,100
Tonight
we'll get more into detail.
236
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,624
Well, how much more detail
do you need?
237
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:44,366
I can already tell
the guy's religion.
238
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:50,590
Wait a second, now.
What's going on?
239
00:09:50,633 --> 00:09:53,070
I thought you said you
were cool with this.
240
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:54,289
Well, I was...
241
00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:56,465
until he's got a name
242
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:59,120
and you're doing
all this shading of muscles
243
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,643
and highlighting.
244
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:03,428
You know what, I'm starting
to think Ernie might be right.
245
00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:05,430
[scoffs] What?
Are you serious?
246
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:07,302
You're gonna
listen to Ernie?
247
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,304
That man's been married
five times.
248
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:12,699
He's got more rings
than LeBron James.
249
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,352
Exactly.
250
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:16,137
Which is why he knows the signs.
251
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:19,183
And one of them is when
your wife starts hanging out
252
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:22,186
with a dude that's hanging out.
253
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,189
So what are you saying?
254
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:28,715
I'm saying that you're not
going back to that art class.
255
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,281
Oh. Excuse me?
256
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:31,718
No, I mean it, Tina.
257
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:33,676
I don't want you spending time
with this guy.
258
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,287
And I don't want you telling me
what I can and can't do.
259
00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:38,376
[chuckles]:
Oh, isn't that rich.
260
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,640
You can tell me
261
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:41,858
what I can't do,
262
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:44,513
but I can't tell you
what you can't cannot do
263
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:46,471
if you was trying to
do something and I said, "No,"
264
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:49,257
and you said, "Yes, I can,"
and I said, "No, you can't."
265
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,565
You know what I mean.
266
00:10:57,831 --> 00:11:00,529
No. But what I know is
267
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:03,663
you cannot not stop me
from not doing what I want!
268
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:07,101
Wait, wait a minute.
Are you going or not?
269
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:09,625
'Cause I need to know
if I won this argument.
270
00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:19,635
All right, I'm meeting Gemma for
dinner, then going to art class.
271
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,072
Have fun watching your
stupid blooper shows.
272
00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:25,946
Well, actually, we're not
watching blooper shows tonight.
273
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:28,644
We realize we've
been close-minded,
274
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:33,649
so we've decided to partake
of some art ourselves.
275
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,651
Oh, really? Where?
276
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,610
The Wiggle Palace
on 40th Street.
277
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:43,528
So much classier
than the Jiggle Barn on 12th.
278
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:45,095
[both laugh]
279
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,575
Seriously, Calvin?
280
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,490
You're trying to tell me
that going to a strip club
281
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,753
is the same
as going to art class?
282
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,233
Isn't it?
283
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:54,409
I mean, it's like you said.
284
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,890
They're all
just beautiful specimens
285
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,153
of human form.
286
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,894
Besides, Ernie tells me
there's a girl there
287
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:02,983
by the name of Monet.
288
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:07,727
That's right, that's right.
She, uh, she works in oils.
289
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:08,989
[chuckles]
290
00:12:09,032 --> 00:12:10,860
Fine, do what you want.
291
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:13,515
But you're acting like a child.
292
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:14,690
No, I'm not.
293
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,474
And even if I was,
it wouldn't matter,
294
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:19,782
because the Wiggle Palace
has a day care!
295
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:24,265
All right, buddy,
you ready?
296
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:27,790
Let's go give some "mo-ney"
to Monet.
297
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,531
Forget it, Ernie.
298
00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:32,012
We ain't going to no
damn Wiggle Palace.
299
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:34,405
Wh-What?
300
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:37,887
No, I was just trying
to bluff Tina to make a point.
301
00:12:37,931 --> 00:12:39,671
Now I got to think
of something else.
302
00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:43,284
Trust me, Calvin, just-just
let her do her thing.
303
00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:45,155
She'll get over it.
304
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,331
Or she'll never come home.
305
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:50,073
I've had wives do both.
306
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:55,035
Okay. So, our
missing person
307
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,819
is Walter Brown.
308
00:12:56,863 --> 00:13:00,214
Yes. Last seen driving off
in a moving van
309
00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,782
while giving us all the finger.
310
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,349
We know
311
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:08,004
he moved to one
of 87 retirement communities
312
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:09,266
in Palm Springs,
313
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,660
but that is where
the trail goes cold.
314
00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:13,227
I mean, I don't know
if this gives us anything,
315
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,795
but I'm pretty sure
Walter is left-handed.
316
00:13:15,838 --> 00:13:18,798
Or at least left-fingered.
317
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,060
Wait a second.
318
00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:21,104
That's it.
319
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,802
Oh, what? What's it?
320
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,151
Fingers.
321
00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:26,370
"Don't Lift a Finger
Moving Company."
322
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:27,850
It was written
on the side of the truck.
323
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,156
We should call them.
324
00:13:29,199 --> 00:13:30,461
Yeah, but they're
not gonna give out
325
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:31,854
personal information
to just anyone.
326
00:13:31,898 --> 00:13:34,857
Which is why
I'm not gonna be just anyone.
327
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,294
I'm gonna be Walter.
328
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,906
Oh. So, you telling us
329
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,473
that you're gonna do
Black voice?
330
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:50,830
On second thought,
one of you should do it.
331
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,402
[imitating Walter]:
Yeah, hey. This is Walter Brown.
332
00:13:58,446 --> 00:14:01,275
One of you jackasses
lost my damn ottoman.
333
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:05,279
Well, where the hell
did you deliver it to?
334
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:08,021
Rancho La Vista
Senior Living,
335
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:09,936
unit 31-B.
336
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:13,591
Oh, never mind. Here it is,
right under my feet. Bye.
337
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,900
Boys, looks like we're going
to Palm Springs.
338
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,554
Hell yeah, jackasses!
339
00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:22,383
[regular voice]:
Sorry, I was still in character.
340
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:27,431
Seriously? He thinks
going to a strip club
341
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,564
is the same thing as
going to an art class?
342
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:32,262
I know. It's like
comparing apples to oranges.
343
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:35,526
Or, in the case of Antonio,
bananas.
344
00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,661
Well, don't let Calvin's
negativity ruin your night.
345
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,882
For the next two hours,
don't even think about him.
346
00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:50,628
Which suddenly became
much harder to do.
347
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,939
Calvin, what? What
are you doing here?
348
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,201
Isn't it obvious?
349
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,900
I'm the model
for tonight's class.
350
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,994
What did you do to Antonio?
351
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,430
I bought him off.
352
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:11,780
I gave him 40 bucks
and a free oil change.
353
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,782
Ironically, he was so oiled up,
354
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:15,392
he dropped the coupon.
[chuckles]
355
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:18,134
You are unbelievable.
356
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,180
What's wrong, Tina?
357
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,617
It's like you said.
It's only art.
358
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:27,056
And we both know I'm packing
one hell of an exhibit.
359
00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:30,973
You know what? Maybe I'll
just sketch my shoes tonight.
360
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,541
If you need me, I'll be the one
looking straight down.
361
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,023
Oh, please, Calvin.
362
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,459
We both know there is no way
363
00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:40,896
you're actually gonna
go through with this.
364
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,246
[chuckles]
Oh, really?
365
00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:50,340
Okay. That's it.
366
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:53,039
I want to talk to you
in the hallway now.
367
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:55,911
Okay. Make it quick.
All right, it's cold out there,
368
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,913
and I got to model
in a few minutes.
369
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:02,265
Okay, this is it. 31-B.
370
00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,963
I hope he's home.
371
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,661
It's 8:30.
Where else would he be?Are you kidding me?
372
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:08,576
They have shuffleboard,
aqua aerobics
373
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:09,881
and a puzzle room here.
374
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:12,580
If you over 70,
this place is lit.
375
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:14,930
[laughs]:
Hey!
376
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,323
Walter!
377
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,934
It's us. It is nice to see you.
378
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,588
What the hell
are you doing here?
379
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:22,459
When I moved out,
didn't you see me
380
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:23,895
give you the finger?
381
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,942
Yes, Walter.
But, you know,
382
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,423
we came to tell you
that we found your book
383
00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:30,859
in the basement.MALCOLM:
Yeah.
384
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,383
We all read it,
and it was amazing.
385
00:16:33,427 --> 00:16:34,428
Really?
386
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,082
Yeah. The only problem is
387
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:37,605
when we got to the end,
388
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,259
the last page was missing.DAVE:
Yeah,
389
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,738
which is why we need you
390
00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,610
to tell us who
the killer is.
391
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,307
Well, since you guys went
through all of the trouble
392
00:16:44,351 --> 00:16:46,048
of tracking me down,
the least I can do
393
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,789
is tell you who it is.
394
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:50,270
For all the cash you got
in your wallets.
395
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,446
What?
What?
396
00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:54,448
Yeah, you heard me.
My name ain't Google.
397
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,015
Information ain't free.
398
00:16:57,842 --> 00:17:00,280
All right, fine. Fine. Fine.
399
00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,630
We will give you the money.
400
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:04,284
DAVE:
All right, Walter.
401
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,982
Tell them that the killer
402
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,636
was the chef.
403
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,464
Oh, no, no, no.
He means the pool boy.
404
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:12,466
It was the bastard son, right?
405
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,903
You're all wrong.
406
00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:17,297
The murderer...
407
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:18,907
is the butler.
408
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,692
Who? The butler?[stammers]
409
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,651
Well, there's no
butler in the book.
410
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,000
Oh, well, sure, there is.
In the very first chapter,
411
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,784
he opens the door
for the detective.
412
00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:28,221
But that's the only time
he appears
413
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:29,744
in the entire book.
He doesn't even speak!
414
00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:32,181
Exactly. That's why
he's the very last person
415
00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:34,575
you'd ever suspect.
416
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,011
Pretty good, right?
417
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,492
No, it's not pretty good!
418
00:17:38,535 --> 00:17:40,494
It's a "screw you"
to the reader!
419
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,017
Why can't it be both?
420
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,411
Oh, this is ridiculous.
421
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:45,934
Yeah, any one of us
could've written
422
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,370
a better ending than that.
423
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,719
Yeah, maybe.
424
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:51,461
But would anybody
pay you 200 bucks to hear it?
425
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:55,509
I didn't think so. The end.
426
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,382
[groans]
427
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:01,384
I can't believe we drove
all this way for that.
428
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,473
And we got to drive
all the way back.
429
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:06,128
But you know what we
can do on our way home?
430
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,912
We can write our own ending
to the book.
431
00:18:07,956 --> 00:18:11,133
I was gonna say play "I spy,"
432
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,309
but that is a
way better idea.
433
00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:17,270
What is going on with you?
434
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,185
And why are you
acting so crazy?
435
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:22,449
No, no, what's crazy is my wife
rushing out every night
436
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,885
to look at a naked guy
437
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,626
when she's got
a perfectly good one
438
00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:27,932
sitting at home watching TV.
439
00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:29,630
You are ridiculous.
440
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:30,935
What do you think I'm gonna do,
441
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:32,894
run off
with some model half my age?
442
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:35,462
What do you think I am, a man?
443
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,987
Of course not. I don't think
you're gonna run off with him.
444
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:40,423
I just liked it better
445
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:43,122
when the only man
you were thinking about was me.
446
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,298
[scoffs]
Are you kidding?
447
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:48,257
Baby, you are
the only man I think about.
448
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,085
You know the first thing
that popped in my head
449
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,043
the minute that guy
dropped his robe?
450
00:18:52,087 --> 00:18:55,003
Yeah, I got a good guess.
451
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,093
It wasn't that.
452
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,617
It was that I wish
you were there with me.
453
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:02,010
It was?
454
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:04,317
Yeah. Then I would've seen
the look on your face
455
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,101
and you would've seen
the look on mine,
456
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,148
and we would've laughed
our asses off together.
457
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,976
I mean, 'cause you know
when that guy took off his robe,
458
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,196
I would've said something
really, really hilarious.
459
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,807
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's right.
460
00:19:16,851 --> 00:19:18,374
And then I would've
laughed too loud
461
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,376
and fell out on the floor.I mean, who could blame you?
462
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:23,336
It's my biggest flaw.
I'm just too damn funny.
463
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:24,902
[laughs]
464
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,208
You see, babe?
465
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:27,731
This is what
I'm talking about.
466
00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:30,473
When I said I wanted to go out
and do fun stuff together,
467
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,910
it wasn't about the stuff.
468
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:35,739
The fun part
was doing it with you.
469
00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:37,437
Mm.
470
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,178
I'm sorry, babe.
471
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,528
I should've come with you.
472
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:43,834
The next time you want
to do something together,
473
00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:46,272
I promise, I will.
474
00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:48,404
Thank you.[chuckles]
475
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,322
So, what do you say?
You ready to get out of here?
476
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:56,847
Yeah, but we're leaving
the class without a model.
477
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,066
Don't worry, I got it.
478
00:19:58,109 --> 00:19:59,328
Okay.Yeah.
479
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,591
Hey, Ernie.
480
00:20:01,635 --> 00:20:04,333
You want to make 40 bucks
and get a free oil change?
481
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,560
Oh, damn.
482
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:14,691
Crazy, huh?
483
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,824
Oh, no.Oh, yes.
484
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,739
Get out of town.
485
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,132
We actually had to.
486
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:24,571
Okay, so, what do you think?
487
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:27,269
[chuckles]
I thought it was great.[whispers]: Yes.
488
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,531
Up until the ending.
489
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,272
What?
490
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:34,276
I mean, the personal chef,
the pool boy andthe bastard son
491
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,365
all committed the murders
together?
492
00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:39,586
What idiot
would come up with that?
493
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:42,632
Are you...
494
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,678
Are you kidding?
It was great.
495
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:47,289
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the ending
pulled the whole story together.
496
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,204
Yeah, it's way better
than what Walter had.
497
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,598
Well, the ending's
all wrong.
498
00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:55,297
The killer was obviously
the shady-ass butler.
499
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,038
I knew that
500
00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:58,822
the minute he opened the door.
501
00:21:03,218 --> 00:21:06,961
Captioning sponsored by
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502
00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:08,267
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
503
00:21:08,317 --> 00:21:12,867
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