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1
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:05,073
- COME ON, STUART.
2
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,808
COME ON, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT
YOU NEED RIGHT NOW.
3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,710
- MOVING IN WITH A BUNCH
OF DIVORCED GUYS
4
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,312
WOULD MEAN THAT I'VE
GIVEN UP HOPE.
5
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:12,346
THAT MY MARRIAGE TO LORNA
IS OVER.
6
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:16,384
- STUART, AS YOUR ATTORNEY,
LET ME ASSURE YOU,
7
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,686
YOUR MARRIAGE TO LORNA
IS OVER.
8
00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:21,289
REMEMBER? SHE SIGNED THE PAPERS
A WEEK AGO.
9
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:22,190
- THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
10
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:25,526
- IN THE DARKEST INK
I HAVE EVER SEEN.
11
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:28,496
- WELL, MAYBE SHE WAS--
- SHE SAID, "YAY."
12
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,198
- HOLLY, I'M SORRY.
13
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,632
IT'S JUST--
I MISS BEING MARRIED.
14
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:32,700
I MISS MY WIFE.
I MISS MY HOUSE.
15
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,568
- NO, STUART,
NO MORE MISSING, OKAY?
16
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,170
REMEMBER WHAT WE'VE PRACTICED?
17
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:38,706
"I'M A DIVORCED MAN,
AND I'M READY TO MOVE ON."
18
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:39,607
- I'M A DIVORCED MAN,
19
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,641
AND I'M READY TO MOVE ON.
20
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,210
- DID YOU MEAN IT?
- NOT REALLY.
21
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:43,477
- THAT'S THE SPIRIT.
22
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:44,745
- YOU KNOW, WHAT IF THEY DON'T
WANT A ROOMMATE?
23
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:45,846
I MEAN, ARE YOU SURE?
24
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,215
I MEAN, WHAT IF THEY
DON'T LIKE ME?
25
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,015
WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE THEM?
26
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,150
HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN
DIVORCED?
27
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:53,721
- STUART, I ANSWERED LESS
QUESTIONS TO PASS THE BAR.
28
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,689
NOW, STAY HERE.
- WHY?
29
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:58,292
- BECAUSE I WANNA BE THE ONE
TO GIVE THEM THE GOOD NEWS.
30
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,496
- COME INSKY.
31
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,631
- OH, HEY, HASKELL, IT'S--
32
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,733
- HOLD ONSKY.
33
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,835
I AM SECONDS AWAY
FROM SELLING
34
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:12,673
300 OFFICIAL WORLD CUP
VUVUZELAS.
35
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,508
- THESE LOUD, ANNOYING HORNS?
- YEAH.
36
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:15,643
- HOW MUCH ARE YOU GONNA MAKE?
37
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,645
- WELL, AFTER PROCESSING,
38
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,647
TAXES, SHIPPING AND HANDLING,
39
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,315
I SHOULD CLEAR...
40
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:24,252
NOTHING.
41
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,619
- HEY-HEY.
42
00:01:25,653 --> 00:01:29,257
DID SOMEONE ORDER
SIX FEET OF SEXY?
43
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:33,261
- PHIL, DOES A LINE LIKE THAT
EVER WORK?
44
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,129
APPARENTLY, IT DOES.
45
00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:40,534
- HOLLY, I WANT YOU TO MEET
THE LOVELY...
46
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,770
- ALICIA.
- ALICIA.
47
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,639
ALICIA IS A VERY ACCOMPLISHED...
48
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,740
- WAITRESS.
- WAITRESS!
49
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:47,841
RIGHT, WAITRESS!
50
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:49,210
RIGHT, YEAH.
51
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,644
YEAH, ACTUALLY,
ALICIA WAS LEAVING.
52
00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:52,780
SHE HAS TO GET BACK
TO THE, UM...
53
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,182
- RESTAURANT?
54
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,817
- YES, YES.
55
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,653
- OKAY, GUYS,
I HAVE GREAT NEWS.
56
00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:02,656
I FOUND A ROOMMATE
FOR THAT THIRD BEDROOM.
57
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:03,791
- I DIDN'T KNOW
WE WERE LOOKING.
58
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:04,792
- WELL, THAT IS HOW
59
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:08,729
ALL GREAT ROOMMATE STORIES
BEGIN.
60
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,764
- SO THE MOTHER HEN'S TAKING IN
ANOTHER STRAY.
61
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,666
- WELL, MAY I REMIND YOU,
62
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,202
YOU WERE ONE
OF THOSE STRAYS.
63
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,603
SO WAS HASKELL.
64
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,670
- WHAT'S HE LIKE?
65
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,839
- OH, YOU KNOW, EASY-GOING.
66
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:19,707
REALLY RESPECTS BOUNDARIES.
67
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,275
SUPER-COOL, SUPER-COOL.
68
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:23,711
- YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU LIE,
YOU SAY EVERYTHING TWICE.
69
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,946
- NO, I DON'T.
NO, I DON--
70
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,916
- PICKING A NEW ROOMMATE
IS A DELICATE MATTER.
71
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,918
HE'S GOTTA FIT IN.
TAKE HASKELL AND I.
72
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,620
WE'VE SAID, WHAT,
12 WORDS TO EACH OTHER
73
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:33,754
IN THE LAST MONTH?
74
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:34,755
- IF THAT.
- YEAH.
75
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:37,258
WE GOT A GOOD THING GOING.
76
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,926
- WE DON'T GET INVOLVED
IN EACH OTHER'S LIVES.
77
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,661
- YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU HAD FOR BREAKFAST.
78
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,731
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
YOUR LAST NAME.
79
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,599
- FIST BUMP.
- TOO INTIMATE.
80
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:47,635
- RIGHT.
81
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,774
- ALL RIGHT, WELL,
I'LL TAKE 200 BUCKS OFF
82
00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,809
NEXT MONTH'S RENT
IF YOU GUYS TAKE HIM.
83
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,379
- YOU'RE MARKING THE GUY DOWN?
84
00:02:58,412 --> 00:02:59,713
IT'S NOT A GOOD SIGN.
85
00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,315
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, THE OFFER
EXPIRES IN 30 SECONDS.
86
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:02,350
- HE'S HERE, ISN'T HE?
87
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:06,387
- NO, HE'S NOT.
NO, HE'S NO--
88
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:07,421
- OPEN THE DOOR.
89
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,557
- ALL RIGHT.
90
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,392
STUART--OH, HI.
COME IN.
91
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:12,860
I WANT YOU TO MEET
PHIL CHASE.
92
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:13,794
- HEY, BUDDY,
HOW'S IT GOING?
93
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,863
- GOOD TO MEET YOU.
- THAT'S HASKELL LUTZ.
94
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,498
- HI, WHAT'S UP.
95
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:18,866
- [clears throat]
96
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,901
UH, FIRST OF ALL,
I WANT TO THANK YOU GUYS
97
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:24,838
FOR, UH, LETTING ME LIVE HERE
IN THE MAN CAVE.
98
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,740
AND, UH, JUST SO WE GET OFF
ON THE RIGHT FOOT,
99
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:28,776
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I
AM GONNA DO MY SHARE.
100
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:30,811
WHERE'S, UH--
WHERE'S YOUR CHORE SCHEDULE?
101
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:39,653
- WE DON'T HAVE ONE.
102
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:42,790
- WELL, THEN, I GUESS WE'VE
FOUND OUR FIRST CHORE.
103
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:43,857
- HOLLYYYYY.
104
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,726
- OH, THIS IS SO ADORABLE.
105
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,228
I SMELL BROMANCE
IN THE AIR.
106
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:51,832
[upbeat music]
107
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:53,867
- * DO-DO DO DO
108
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:55,936
* DO-DO DEE DA
109
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:57,838
* DO DO DO DO
110
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,042
- [humming]
111
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,877
- AH, GOOD MORNING, HASKELL.
112
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,914
I MADE MY SPECIAL SCRAMBLE
FOR BREAKFAST
113
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:10,017
TO CELEBRATE OUR FIRST MORNING
OF LIVING TOGETHER.
114
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:13,053
- SO YOU'RE GAY, HUH?
115
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:17,858
- NO, I'M NOT GAY.
116
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,293
- HEY, I COULD CARE LESS.
117
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,694
BUT IF YOU ARE,
I'M NOT GONNA WALK AROUND
118
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,830
IN MY UNDERWEAR.
119
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,865
I DON'T WANT
TO BE A TEASE.
120
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:29,870
- AH, GOOD MORNING, PHIL.
121
00:04:29,903 --> 00:04:31,905
I MADE EGGS.
122
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:32,973
- AWESOME.
123
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:36,009
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WE HAD PANS.
124
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,995
- WHATCHA THINKING?
125
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,997
- I'M THINKING I PAID SOMEONE
HALF MY MONEY
126
00:04:57,030 --> 00:05:00,968
TO NEVER HEAR
THAT QUESTION AGAIN.
127
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,069
- YEAH, YEAH,
YOU KNOW,
128
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:04,472
MARRIAGE--MARRIAGE IS A TRICKY
LITTLE DEVIL, ISN'T IT?
129
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:05,439
I KNOW WITH MINE--
- LOOK, LOOK.
130
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:09,343
STUART, THIS APARTMENT
IS A SHARING-FREE ZONE.
131
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:11,845
JUST THINK OF ME AS THE GUY
AT THE URINAL.
132
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,547
NOD.
SAY NOTHING.
133
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:16,584
KEEP IT MOVING.
134
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:19,920
- WHO IS IT?
135
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:23,090
- YOUR OVERWORKED
AND UNDERPAID ASSISTANT.
136
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,359
HI-HI.
137
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,060
- WOW.
138
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,929
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOT
A NIGHT OF PARTYING
139
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:29,830
AHEAD OF 'EM.
140
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:31,999
OH, BY 6:00 A.M.,
I HOPE TO BE LOOKING
141
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,100
AT THE CLUB STAMPS
ON MY HAND,
142
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,936
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHICH ONE
I LEFT MY PANTIES AT.
143
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:41,909
- IT'S ALWAYS GOOD
TO HAVE GOALS.
144
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,444
- HEY, SO HOW'S IT GOING
WITH STUART?
145
00:05:43,477 --> 00:05:45,546
- OH, YOU KNOW,
IT'S BEEN A COUPLE DAYS,
146
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:48,015
AND I HAVE NOT HEARD A PEEP
FROM THE BOYS ACROSS THE HALL.
147
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,883
I THINK IT'S GOING
REALLY NICELY.
148
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,786
- HOLLY, WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH
ABOUT THESE GUYS?
149
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:56,924
- HUH. I-I THINK IT'S BECAUSE
AS THEIR DIVORCE ATTORNEY,
150
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,126
I SEE THEM AT THEIR LOWEST,
YOU KNOW.
151
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,595
THEY'RE LIKE BROKEN BIRDS,
AND THEY JUST NEED SOMEBODY
152
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:02,896
TO FIX THEIR WINGS.
153
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,131
- MM-HMM. I KNEW IT.
- MM.
154
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,967
- MY MOTHER SAYS YOU IMMERSE
YOURSELF IN THESE GUYS' LIVES
155
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,136
TO DISTRACT YOURSELF
FROM DEALING WITH YOUR INABILITY
156
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:12,005
TO SUSTAIN A MEANINGFUL
RELATIONSHIP OF YOUR OWN.
157
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:17,745
BUT WHAT DOES SHE KNOW?
SHE'S JUST A THERAPIST.
158
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:18,746
[doorbell rings]
159
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:20,781
I'LL GET IT.
160
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:23,884
- HEYYY.
161
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:24,885
- [giggling]
HI.
162
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:28,989
- PHIL, OFF.
163
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:31,659
- SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE THREW
A HOT CHICK
164
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,827
IN THE DRYER.
165
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:37,731
- PHIL, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
166
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:40,133
- OH, HOLLY, HE'S KILLING ME.
167
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,635
STUART IS KILLING ME.
168
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:42,936
YOU HAVE TO TAKE HIM BACK.
169
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,938
- NO, YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
HOW BAD COULD IT BE?
170
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,073
- HOW BAD COULD IT BE?
171
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,675
I'LL SHOW YOU HOW BAD
IT COULD BE.
172
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,677
I CALL THIS,
"HI, PHIL, IT'S ME."
173
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,979
SIT DOWN.
174
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,814
- HI, PHIL, IT'S ME.
175
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,784
JUST WONDERING WHAT TIME
YOU'LL BE HOME FOR DINNER.
176
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,218
HI, PHIL, IT'S ME.
DO ME A FAVOR.
177
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,789
PICK UP SOME ASPARAGUS
TO GO WITH MY ROAST.
178
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,090
HI, PHIL, IT'S ME.
179
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,126
MAKE IT WHITE ASPARAGUS.
IT'S JUST MORE FUN.
180
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,630
HI, PHIL, IT'S ME.
181
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:10,964
I WANNA HAVE
A GUYS' NIGHT OUT,
182
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:11,965
YOU, ME, AND HASKELL.
183
00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:15,469
HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN JERSEY BOYS?
184
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,204
HI, PHIL, IT'S ME.
185
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:20,140
HI, PHIL, IT'S ME.
186
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:22,510
- HI, PHIL, IT'S SANDY.
187
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,011
I MISS YOU.
188
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,879
THAT ADDRESS YOU GAVE ME
MUST'VE BEEN WRONG,
189
00:07:25,913 --> 00:07:27,114
BECAUSE IT'S A VACANT LOT.
190
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,583
[laughs breathlessly]
191
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,719
- CRAZY SANDY'S
A WHOLE 'NOTHER NIGHTMARE.
192
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,220
- ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I--
193
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,489
I KNOW STUART'S
A LITTLE OVEREAGER,
194
00:07:35,523 --> 00:07:37,057
BUT HE'S JUST TRYING
TO FIT IN.
195
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,527
- WELL, TELL HIM TO FIT IN
BACK WITH HIS WIFE.
196
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,728
THAT'S ALL HE TALKS ABOUT,
197
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:41,795
GETTING BACK TOGETHER
WITH HER.
198
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,997
- THERE IS NO GETTING BACK.
199
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,132
STUART DOESN'T KNOW THIS,
200
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,568
BUT SHE'S ALREADY SEEING
SOMEONE ELSE.
201
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,002
I THINK THEY'RE LIVING TOGETHER.
202
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,971
IT JUST WOULD KILL HIM
IF HE FOUND OUT.
203
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,205
- OH.
204
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,674
- [sighs]
205
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:54,742
- THAT'S NOT GOOD.
206
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:55,776
- YEAH.
207
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,177
- OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
208
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,879
I'M GONNA BE LATE
FOR WORK TOMORROW.
209
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:01,982
- HONEY, TOMORROW'S SATURDAY.
210
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,051
- I'M GONNA BE LATE
FOR WORK MONDAY.
211
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,623
- SANDY.
212
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,191
- [laughs breathlessly]
213
00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:13,293
- HEY, H-HOW'D YOU FIND OUT
WHERE I LIVED?
214
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,695
- STUART TOLD ME.
215
00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,597
- GUILTY.
216
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:19,099
YEAH, I WAS IN YOUR ROOM,
FOLDING YOUR SOCKS--
217
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,100
WELL, UH, ROLLING THEM.
218
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,201
WELL, UH, FOLDING.
219
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,269
UH, FOLD-ROLLING THEM.
YOU'LL SEE.
220
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:25,639
AND, UM, PHONE RANG.
IT WAS SANDY.
221
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,174
- IF STUART HADN'T PICKED UP
THAT PHONE,
222
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,142
I WAS NEVER GONNA CALL AGAIN.
223
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,143
BUT HE DID!
224
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:31,144
[laughs breathlessly]
225
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,213
- HUH?
226
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,648
- STUART?
KITCHEN.
227
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,216
- DON'T BE LONG,
PHILLY-WILLY.
228
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:39,186
[laughs breathlessly]
229
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,760
- SO I LIKE SANDY.
SHE'S NICE.
230
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,929
- SHE'S NUTS.
231
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,330
I'VE BEEN AVOIDING HER
FOR A MONTH.
232
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:51,632
- W-WHY ARE YOU AVOIDING HER?
233
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:52,900
SHE SEEMS
TO REALLY LIKE YOU.
234
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,234
SHE TOLD ME ALL ABOUT THAT
GREAT ALASKAN CRUISE
235
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,669
SHE'S PLANNING FOR YOU
AND HER PARENTS.
236
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:56,670
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
237
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:59,239
- WE WENT ON A COFFEE DATE...
238
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,609
ONCE.
239
00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:04,244
AND HER PARENTS DIED
IN 1986.
240
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:09,917
- OH, THAT'S JUST CRAZY.
241
00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:11,685
- LISTEN, STUART.
242
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,320
YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS
GOING IN MY ROOM,
243
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,222
MESSING WITH MY SOCKS,
244
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,323
OR ANSWERING MY PHONE.
245
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:17,958
- OLD REFLEX, YOU KNOW.
246
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:19,259
WHEN YOU'RE MARRIED,
YOU ANSWER EACH OTHER'S PHONES.
247
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,328
- WE'RE NOT MARRIED.
248
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,764
DUDE, I'M NOT YOUR WIFE.
249
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:25,365
BUT I'M STARTING TO SEE
WHY SHE LEFT YOU.
250
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,200
- WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
251
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,736
- NOTHING.
252
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:29,536
- NO, COME ON.
COME ON, PHIL.
253
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,138
YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY?
SAY IT.
254
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,139
- OKAY.
255
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:33,941
FINE.
256
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:37,177
YOU'RE NEEDY.
257
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,278
YOU'RE CLINGY.
258
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,347
YOU'RE STIFLING ME, STUART.
259
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,182
YOU'RE LIKE MY EX-WIFE,
260
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:45,285
BUT WITHOUT
THE EXPENSIVE BREASTS.
261
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,153
- ALL RIGHT,
I MIGHT BE CLINGY
262
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,220
AND A LITTLE NEEDY,
263
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,288
BUT AT LEAST I'M CAPABLE
OF MAKING
264
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,723
A REAL HUMAN CONNECTION.
265
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:50,523
YOU KNOW WHAT, PHIL?
266
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:52,192
I HOPE THAT ONE DAY
YOU REALIZE
267
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,861
YOU NEED PEOPLE, TOO.
268
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,162
- IT'S NOT JUST ME.
HE LIVES HERE, TOO.
269
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:56,196
HASKELL, PLEASE.
270
00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,766
TELL HIM HOW HE'S DRIVING YOU
OUTTA YOUR MIND.
271
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,233
- I'M IN MY ROOM LAST NIGHT.
272
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,670
HE COMES IN, DEMANDS I PUT DOWN
MY COMPUTER
273
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:05,372
AND HAVE A CONVERSATION.
274
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:09,209
THANK YOU FOR A BEAUTIFUL
EVENING.
275
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,744
- ARE YOU HAPPY?
276
00:10:10,778 --> 00:10:12,245
YOU'VE RUINED HASKELL!
277
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,280
YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.
278
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,381
- THAT'S IT.
THAT'S IT!
279
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,083
I DON'T STAY
WHERE I'M NOT WANTED.
280
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,150
I'M GONNA PACK MY BAGS
AND GO.
281
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,151
- EXCELLENT!
282
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:18,986
- BUT BEFORE I GO,
283
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,253
I GOT SOMETHING
I WANNA SAY TO YOU.
284
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,722
- BRING IT ON!
285
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,090
- I WANNA THANK YOU FOR GIVING
ME A PLACE TO LIVE
286
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:26,126
AND TAKING ME IN THESE LAST FEW
DAYS ITMEANTALOTTOME!
287
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:37,204
- PHIL?
288
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,673
- WELL, IF IT ISN'T THE WORLD'S
SEXIEST SPORTSCASTER.
289
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:40,908
- HEY, YOU.
290
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,242
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN TOWN, BREE?
291
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:45,045
- I FLEW IN
TO DO THE KNICKS PRE-GAME.
292
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:48,882
AND THAT NEW GUARD YOU REPRESENT
IS CRUSHING IT, WHAT!
293
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:50,150
- [both laughing]
294
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:51,284
- YOU LOOK AMAZING.
295
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,152
- THANK YOU.
296
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,354
- WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE BLOW THIS PLACE
297
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,956
AND GO SOMEWHERE QUIETER?
298
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,725
- I'D LOVE TO...BUT.
299
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:59,727
- HELLO.
300
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,294
- YOU MUST BE THE BUT.
301
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,996
- PHIL, MEET JILL.
302
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,097
SHE FLEW IN WITH ME.
303
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,365
WE'RE MAKING IT
A GIRLS' NIGHT.
304
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,934
- WHERE SHE GOES, I GO.
305
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:07,935
- [laughs]
306
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,970
WELL, UH, TELL YOU WHAT.
307
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,271
WHY DON'T WE MAKE IT
A DOUBLE DATE?
308
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,239
I'LL GO GET
MY ROOMMATE HASKELL.
309
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:13,206
- THAT GUY FROM THE COUCH
310
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,776
WHO TRIED TO SELL ME
THE REVERSIBLE SHOES?
311
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,010
I DON'T THINK SO.
312
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,478
LET'S MAKE IT ANOTHER NIGHT.
313
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,048
- NO, NO, WAIT.
LOOK.
314
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,282
I HAVE ANOTHER ROOMMATE.
315
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,450
A NEW ONE.
I'LL GO GET HIM.
316
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:24,752
- WELL, WHAT'S HE LIKE?
317
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,386
I WANNA HAVE A GOOD TIME.
IS HE FUN?
318
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:30,023
- IS HE FUN?
IS HE FUN?
319
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:32,025
HE'S SO FUN,
HE KNOCKS MY SOCKS OFF!
320
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:34,261
AND THEN HE FOLDS THEM
AND PUTS THEM IN MY DRAWER.
321
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,029
I'LL BE BACK!
322
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:42,269
- HEY, STUART.
HOW YOU DOING, BUDDY?
323
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,237
- DON'T WORRY, PHIL--I'LL BE OUT
OF YOUR LIFE IN JUST A MINUTE.
324
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,472
- WHAT'S THE RUSH?
325
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,007
[chuckles awkwardly]
326
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,241
LOOK.
327
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:49,276
I KNOW SOME THINGS
WERE SAID BEFORE.
328
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,378
- SOME VERY HURTFUL THINGS.
329
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,747
- LET'S JUST SAY
SOME THINGS WERE SAID.
330
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:56,249
BUT I'M WILLING
TO PUT THAT BEHIND US
331
00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:57,250
AND START OVER.
332
00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,286
- I DON'T GET IT.
WHY THE SUDDEN TURNAROUND?
333
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,520
- THE TRUTH?
334
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:04,291
WELL, YOU KNOW,
I WAS DOWNSTAIRS AT THE BAR,
335
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:07,861
AND I JUST COULDN'T STOP
THINKING ABOUT YOU.
336
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:10,297
MY HEART WAS HURTING.
337
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:13,333
HURTIN' REAL BAD.
338
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,402
DEEP IN MY SOUL.
339
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,337
- WHY DO I THINK
THIS IS ABOUT YOUR SOUL
340
00:12:17,370 --> 00:12:19,306
GETTING INTO
ANOTHER SOUL'S PANTS?
341
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,507
- OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT.
342
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,076
BUT THIS GIRL'S SPECIAL.
HER NAME'S BREE.
343
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,178
AND WE'VE HAD A THING
FOR EACH OTHER FOR YEARS.
344
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:27,380
BUT I NEED YOU TO TAKE
HER FRIEND OFF MY HANDS.
345
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,182
- UH, UH, SORRY, DID--
346
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:30,884
DID YOU JUST SAY
YOU NEED ME?
347
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,285
- WELL, YEAH.
- UH-HUH.
348
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,321
SO--[clears throat]
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS
349
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,823
SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T DO
EVERYTHING ALONE,
350
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:38,125
HENCE YOU NEED MEEEEE.
351
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,427
- FINE, I NEED YOU.
352
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:44,164
- [sing-song]
SAY IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT.
353
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:47,134
- I...NEED...YOU.
354
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:48,135
ARE YOU HAPPY?
355
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,970
- GETTING THERE.
356
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,339
- GREAT.
SO YOU'LL DO IT.
357
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:53,540
- ON ONE CONDITION.
358
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,208
ASK ME TO STAY.
359
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:58,378
- WILL YOU STAY?
360
00:12:58,411 --> 00:12:59,512
STUART!
361
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,014
- SORRY, JUST ENJOYING
THE MOMENT.
362
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:02,015
YEAH, I'LL STAY.
363
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:03,884
- GREAT!
- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
364
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,352
I'LL SEE YOU DOWN THERE
IN A FEW MINUTES.
365
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,454
- YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE TO PULL
THIS OFF, THOUGH, RIGHT?
366
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:09,422
I MEAN, I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT
OF THE GAME FOR A WHILE.
367
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,390
- COME ON, HEY.
TRUST ME.
368
00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:11,825
I'M A PLAYER.
369
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:13,060
UH, A PLAYAH.
370
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:16,897
WOULD--IS--
IS IT "PLAY-ER" OR "PLAY-AH"?
371
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:20,133
- IF YOU HAVE TO ASK,
NEITHER.
372
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,501
- STUART, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE EVEN READY
373
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:22,970
TO GO ON A DATE?
374
00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,071
- NO.
375
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,072
BUT I WANT TO DO IT
FOR PHIL.
376
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,306
AND WE ONLY HAVE
A FEW MINUTES.
377
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,607
- ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
378
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,442
WELL, I'LL GET YOU
THROUGH THIS.
379
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,011
UH, LET'S DO
A LITTLE ROLE-PLAYING.
380
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,345
- ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD.
- HI, I'M HOLLY.
381
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,413
YOU MUST BE STUART.
382
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:35,415
- UH, HI, HOLLY.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
383
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,217
UH, WHAT DO YOU DO
FOR A LIVING?
384
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,218
- I'M AN ATTORNEY.
385
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,519
- OH, THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.
386
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:40,921
- THANK YOU.
- YOU KNOW, MY WIFE, LORNA--
387
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:43,523
- [makes buzzer sound]
388
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:44,524
- WHAT'S WRONG?
389
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:45,525
- YOU'RE ON A DATE,
390
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,860
AND YOU SAID THE WORD WIFE?
391
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,228
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
WEAR A SIGN
392
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,030
THAT SAYS,
"PLEASE RUN FROM ME"?
393
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,131
- [clears throat]
394
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,233
UH, SO, UM,
LET ME TELL YOU
395
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,334
A LITTLE BIT ABOUT MYSELF.
396
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,303
UH, RECENTLY DIVORCED.
BUMMER, RIGHT?
397
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,537
- [laughs]
398
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:00,908
- BUT, UM, MY NEW MOTTO IS
READY, SET, LIFE!
399
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:05,913
- YEAH, LOSE THE MOTTO.
- YEAH.
400
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,347
OKAY, UM, UH,
401
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,448
HOW ABOUT YOU, HOLLY?
402
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,482
EVER BEEN MARRIED?
403
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,184
- NOPE.
I WAS ENGAGED ONCE.
404
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:12,019
- REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED?
405
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,453
- OH, I DON'T WANNA TALK
ABOUT IT.
406
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,422
- HOLLY, COME ON.
407
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,456
REALLY.
408
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:17,490
YOU KNOW EVERYTHING
ABOUT MY LIFE.
409
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,491
I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOURS.
410
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,293
- THAT'S TRUE.
411
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,494
ALL RIGHT.
412
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:23,931
UM, WELL...
413
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:25,598
WHEN I GOT ENGAGED,
I BOUGHT THE APARTMENT
414
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,267
YOU GUYS ARE LIVING IN.
415
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,203
AND A FEW DAYS
BEFORE THE WEDDING,
416
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,906
I WENT TO CHECK AND SEE
IF THE BASEBOARDS
417
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:35,508
WERE BEING INSTALLED PROPERLY,
418
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,012
AND THE ONLY THING BEING NAILED
WAS MY FIANCE.
419
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,452
- WOW, THAT...
420
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,154
THAT, UM...
421
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,588
THAT MUST'VE BEEN TRAUMATIC.
422
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:49,656
NO WONDER YOU BURY YOURSELF
IN YOUR WORK.
423
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,058
- I DO NOT.
424
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,626
I HAVE A DATE.
I HAVE A DATE.
425
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,130
IN FACT, YOU SHOULD GO.
426
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:58,265
HE'LL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
427
00:14:58,298 --> 00:15:00,300
[faint ding]
428
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:06,139
- THAT MUST BE HIM.
429
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:08,508
- OKAY, WE BOTH KNOW
THAT WAS THE MICROWAVE.
430
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:09,576
- ALL RIGHT.
431
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:13,480
YEAH, AND I RESCUED THEM
FROM THE BURNING FLAMES.
432
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,315
PSH, LESSON LEARNED.
433
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,551
NEVER BARBECUE
A THIN PIECE OF FISH.
434
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,154
- HEY, UH, BREE.
435
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,522
YOU WANT A TOUR
OF THE APARTMENT?
436
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,092
- HMM.
I'D LOVE ONE.
437
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,359
- [quietly]
YEAHHH.
438
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,328
I'M PROUD OF YOU, MAN.
439
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,730
[chuckles]
KEEP IT UP!
440
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,333
- SORRY.
- OH, THAT'S OKAY.
441
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,634
- SO, UH,
TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOU.
442
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,636
I, UH, I WANT
TO GET TO KNOW JILL.
443
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:38,605
- UH, WELL, I'M A REALTOR,
444
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,673
ALTHOUGH I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO WRITE CHILDREN'S BOOKS.
445
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,575
- OH.
- BUT MY HUSBAND, LARRY, SAYS--
446
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:46,179
- [makes buzzer sound]
447
00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:47,347
I FIND WHEN DATING,
448
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:50,017
IT'S BEST NOT TO BRING UP
THE EXES.
449
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,284
- OH, I'M SORRY.
450
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,619
I'M JUST A LITTLE NERVOUS.
451
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,454
I'M--I'M KIND OF NEW
TO THIS DATING THING.
452
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,389
- OH, THAT'S COOL.
THAT'S COOL.
453
00:15:56,423 --> 00:16:00,293
I WAS, UH, I WAS ONCE
A ROOKIE, TOO.
454
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,530
- WELL, UM, HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN BACK ON THE SCENE?
455
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,733
- ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF.
456
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:08,435
- WELL, YOU--
YOU DON'T SHOW IT.
457
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,103
I MEAN, YOU SEEM SO
SELF-ASSURED,
458
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:11,271
SO CONFIDENT.
459
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,506
- WELL, YOU KNOW,
IT'S JUST SURVIVAL.
460
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,507
- HMM.
461
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:15,575
- I MEAN, LIFE GOES ON.
462
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,511
AND BEING WITH YOU TONIGHT
463
00:16:18,545 --> 00:16:21,548
AND LOOKING INTO THOSE BIG,
BEAUTIFUL EYES
464
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:24,551
MAKES ME REALIZE HOW MUCH...
465
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:27,354
[sobbing]
I MISS MY WIFE.
466
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:36,729
- YOU REMIND ME
OF MY HUSBAND.
467
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:39,132
[sobbing]
HE WAS A CRIER, TOO.
468
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,803
HE WAS SO SENSITIVE.
469
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,573
HE WAS SO SWEET.
470
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:49,576
- HE SOUNDS LIKE
A GREAT GUY.
471
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,179
- HE WAS.
472
00:16:52,212 --> 00:16:54,447
I SHOULD NEVER HAVE GIVEN UP
SO SOON.
473
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,616
- YEAH, AND THAT'S
WHAT I'M DOING.
474
00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:58,318
IT'S--I'M SORRY.
475
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,752
I'M SORRY, JILL.
I'M--
476
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,121
I'M NOT READY
TO MOVE ON.
477
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,522
I'M--I'M GOING HOME.
478
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:04,624
I'M GONNA CONVINCE MY WIFE
TO TAKE ME BACK.
479
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,460
- WELL, GOOD LUCK.
480
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:08,761
IT WAS REALLY NICE
MEETING YOU.
481
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,631
- NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.
482
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,771
* DO DO DO BEE DO
483
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,807
* DO DO DO
484
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,675
* DO
485
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,810
[chuckles awkwardly]
486
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,812
HEY, HASKELL.
WHERE'S, UH--
487
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,214
WHERE'D STUART AND JILL GO?
488
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,749
- YOU WANT THE LONG
OR THE SHORT VERSION?
489
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:30,650
- SHORT.
490
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:32,585
- WELL,
491
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:36,756
I WAS ONLINE
BUYING STYROFOAM PEANUTS.
492
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,559
FYI, THE BEAUTY IS
THAT WHEN YOU SHIP THEM,
493
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,594
THEY REQUIRE NO PACKING
MATERIALS.
494
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,865
SUDDENLY, I HEAR THIS WOMAN
CRYING HER EYES OUT.
495
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,834
TURNS OUT IT WAS STUART.
496
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,102
- UH, HASKELL.
497
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:50,103
SHORTER.
498
00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,338
- AH.
499
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:52,605
STUART RAN HOME TO TRY
AND CONVINCE HIS WIFE
500
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:53,673
TO TAKE HIM BACK,
501
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:57,677
LEAVING JILL ON THE COUCH,
ALONE AND VULNERABLE.
502
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,812
BUT APPARENTLY
NOT THAT VULNERABLE.
503
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:03,716
- STUART WENT HOME?
504
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,452
HE CAN'T GO HOME.
505
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,520
IF HE SEES HIS EX-WIFE
WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND,
506
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:08,721
IT'S GONNA DESTROY HIM.
507
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:09,722
- WELL, IF YOU LEAVE NOW,
508
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,724
YOU MIGHT JUST CATCH HIM.
509
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,793
- BABY!
510
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:16,829
WHAT'S KEEPING THAT WINE?
511
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:25,172
- I WOULD KILL
FOR THIS DILEMMA.
512
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:29,709
- OKAY, HERE IT IS.
513
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:31,644
OH, THANK GOD.
STUART ISN'T HERE YET.
514
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:32,879
- HOW'D WE BEAT HIM
TO HIS OWN HOUSE?
515
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,381
- WELL, IF HE DRIVES
LIKE HE PACKS,
516
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,683
HE SHOULD GET HERE
SOMETIME TOMORROW.
517
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,218
- WOW, THERE'S STUART.
518
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:39,319
WITH HIS WIFE.
519
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,787
HE MUST'VE DONE
SOME CONVINCING.
520
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,155
- YEAH.
- WAY TO GO, STU.
521
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:43,256
- [laughing]
522
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,324
- HI, GUYS.
523
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:45,492
- OH, STUART.
- STUART.
524
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:46,759
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
525
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,262
- WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
- UM...
526
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:51,164
- WE, UH, CAME TO SEE
YOUR WORLD-FAMOUS LAWN.
527
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:54,334
- [all agreeing
and complimenting]
528
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,403
- OH, NO,
BUT WE DON'T LIKE IT
529
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:57,404
AS MUCH AS THAT.
530
00:18:57,437 --> 00:18:58,771
LOOK AT THAT.
- OH, YEAH.
531
00:18:58,805 --> 00:18:59,872
THAT'S KENTUCKY BLUE SEED.
532
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:00,907
PRICEY.
533
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,875
- [all stammering]
534
00:19:02,909 --> 00:19:04,544
[stammering]
535
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:06,646
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
536
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,291
- I'M SORRY, MAN.
537
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:21,828
- ARE YOU OKAY, STUART?
538
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,696
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
539
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,398
- I AM LOOKING FOR A ROCK
540
00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:26,733
TO THROW
THROUGH THAT WINDOW.
541
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,701
- YOU WERE RIGHT, PHIL.
YOU SAID I NEVER GET MAD.
542
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:29,802
I DON'T EXPRESS MY ANGER.
543
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,304
HUH-HUH, WELL, WATCH THIS.
544
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:32,372
- STUART, AS YOUR ATTORNEY,
545
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:34,641
I'M GOING TO HAVE
TO ADVISE YOU--
546
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,843
IS THAT THE BIGGEST ROCK
YOU CAN FIND?
547
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:37,977
- THERE'S GOTTA BE
A BIGGER ONE.
548
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,312
- BIGGER ROCK.
- COME ON.
549
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,781
- OOH, LOOK AT THAT.
550
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,883
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU THREW THAT ROCK.
551
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:44,884
- YEAH, YEAH.
552
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:47,654
AND IT WAS THE ONE
WITH THE HIDE-A-KEY IN IT.
553
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,322
[chuckles evilly]
554
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,824
SO NEXT TIME MY EX-WIFE
GETS LOCKED OUT,
555
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,861
IT'S GONNA BE
SUPER-INCONVENIENT.
556
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,396
- YOU SAID IT.
557
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:57,664
- WHAT? SAID WHAT?
558
00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,233
- THAT'S THE FIRST TIME
YOU'VE SAID EX-WIFE.
559
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:03,703
- I DID, DIDN'T I?
560
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:04,937
- YOU DID.
561
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,639
- IT DIDN'T FEEL SO BAD.
562
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:07,640
WOW.
563
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:08,608
IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS.
564
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:11,311
- OH, I JUST KNEW
THIS WAS GONNA WORK OUT.
565
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,779
- I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE
566
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:14,247
YOU GAVE UP
A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN FOR ME.
567
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,282
WHY?
568
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,417
- WELL, YOU HAD MY BACK TONIGHT.
569
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,786
AND I KNOW HOW IT FEELS.
570
00:20:19,819 --> 00:20:21,521
YOU KNOW, I COULD'VE, UH,
USED SOME HELP
571
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,590
WHEN I FOUND OUT MY WIFE
WAS CHEATING ON ME.
572
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,461
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I JUST TOLD YOU THAT.
573
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,432
- WELL, I AM GONNA MAKE
FRITTATAS,
574
00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:35,468
AND WE ARE GONNA TALK
ABOUT IT.
575
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:38,971
- YES.
576
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:42,008
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