Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,482 --> 00:00:02,172
Previously on
2
00:00:02,172 --> 00:00:03,282
"Real Husbands of Hollywood"...
3
00:00:03,275 --> 00:00:04,715
Just drop dead, Nick.
4
00:00:04,724 --> 00:00:05,934
Oh! Damn!
5
00:00:05,931 --> 00:00:07,211
Your ill-timed comment has
6
00:00:07,206 --> 00:00:09,166
affected the success of your
7
00:00:09,172 --> 00:00:10,662
movie 'cause people didn't like
8
00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:13,405
seeing you tell somebody to die.
9
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:14,723
Unless we find him a kidney
10
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:16,004
donor, he's gonna die within
11
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:16,970
a week.
12
00:00:16,965 --> 00:00:18,305
So we all gonna get tested.
13
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,660
It's you, you are a match.
14
00:00:20,655 --> 00:00:22,755
[cheering and applause]
15
00:00:22,758 --> 00:00:24,928
♪ This is the life
16
00:00:24,931 --> 00:00:26,761
♪ Look at the life
17
00:00:26,758 --> 00:00:27,998
♪ This is the city where we
18
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,690
♪ Party every night
19
00:00:30,689 --> 00:00:32,139
♪ We do it big
20
00:00:32,137 --> 00:00:34,097
♪ Diamonds and gold
21
00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:38,383
♪ Welcome to Hollywood ♪
22
00:00:38,379 --> 00:00:40,689
♪
23
00:00:40,689 --> 00:00:42,309
How can I be a perfect match?
24
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:43,590
Can you explain that to me?
25
00:00:43,586 --> 00:00:44,476
Didn't you tell me there was
26
00:00:44,482 --> 00:00:45,482
one in a bazillion chance
27
00:00:45,482 --> 00:00:46,022
of that happening?
28
00:00:46,017 --> 00:00:46,927
Actually, that's a made-up
29
00:00:46,931 --> 00:00:48,031
word-- bazillion could be
30
00:00:48,034 --> 00:00:48,724
anything.
31
00:00:48,724 --> 00:00:49,594
It could be two.
32
00:00:49,586 --> 00:00:50,236
What?
33
00:00:50,241 --> 00:00:50,971
What are you talking about?
34
00:00:50,965 --> 00:00:51,615
First of all, bazillion
35
00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:52,410
is a real number.
36
00:00:52,413 --> 00:00:53,483
And it's a real place.
37
00:00:53,482 --> 00:00:54,552
It's right on the coast of
38
00:00:54,551 --> 00:00:55,831
Alaska-- that's exactly where it
39
00:00:55,827 --> 00:00:56,757
is-- 'cause you got Alaska...
40
00:00:56,758 --> 00:00:57,968
You actually think that--
41
00:00:57,965 --> 00:00:58,715
No, it's not--
42
00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:00,004
You ever hear of "Bazill"?
43
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:00,900
I think you're referring to
44
00:01:00,896 --> 00:01:01,686
Brazil.
45
00:01:01,689 --> 00:01:02,479
You think-- no, I'm referring
46
00:01:02,482 --> 00:01:04,622
to-- why are you so stupid?
47
00:01:04,620 --> 00:01:05,380
Why would a number have
48
00:01:05,379 --> 00:01:06,099
anything to do with a place--
49
00:01:06,103 --> 00:01:07,243
That does-- I'm-- this is--
50
00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:07,971
Bazill!
51
00:01:07,965 --> 00:01:08,685
It's not--
52
00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:09,409
Bazillion.
53
00:01:09,413 --> 00:01:10,933
Let's just agree to disagree,
54
00:01:10,931 --> 00:01:11,791
okay?
55
00:01:11,793 --> 00:01:13,483
Let's just disagree!
56
00:01:13,482 --> 00:01:14,282
Now, look, Trina, you need to
57
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,065
fix this.
58
00:01:15,068 --> 00:01:15,998
I ain't giving Nick no damn
59
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:16,600
kidney, I'm serious.
60
00:01:16,603 --> 00:01:17,933
There's nothing to fix.
61
00:01:17,931 --> 00:01:19,071
This is a good thing.
62
00:01:19,068 --> 00:01:20,278
It's not a good thing.
63
00:01:20,275 --> 00:01:21,375
I just got off the phone with
64
00:01:21,379 --> 00:01:22,169
the White House.
65
00:01:22,172 --> 00:01:22,882
All right? Yes, good news.
66
00:01:22,879 --> 00:01:25,169
You are on the short list for
67
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,032
the Medal of Freedom.
68
00:01:26,034 --> 00:01:27,024
Mm-hmm.
69
00:01:27,017 --> 00:01:28,547
Michelle Obama might be sending
70
00:01:28,551 --> 00:01:30,191
a luncheon invite.
71
00:01:30,189 --> 00:01:30,899
Don't nobody care about
72
00:01:30,896 --> 00:01:32,996
Michelle Obama.
73
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:41,430
[announcer] Whoa, whoa, no.
74
00:01:41,431 --> 00:01:42,721
Now, I think if you think
75
00:01:42,724 --> 00:01:44,034
about this, you're gonna realize
76
00:01:44,034 --> 00:01:44,744
that today was a good day.
77
00:01:44,741 --> 00:01:47,451
You're doing a good thing, okay?
78
00:01:47,448 --> 00:01:48,758
And for good reason.
79
00:01:48,758 --> 00:01:50,338
And with that said, good-bye.
80
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,244
That is my receptionist, and she
81
00:01:52,241 --> 00:01:52,971
can take care of you.
82
00:01:52,965 --> 00:01:53,735
Trina, you need to fix this.
83
00:01:53,741 --> 00:01:54,971
Mm-hmm.
84
00:01:54,965 --> 00:01:55,995
Serious stuff.
85
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000
Consider it done.
86
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:57,400
Tr--
87
00:01:57,396 --> 00:01:58,756
Ah, Kevin Hart.
88
00:01:58,758 --> 00:02:00,068
Gotta love him.
89
00:02:00,068 --> 00:02:01,858
But it's so much easier to throw
90
00:02:01,862 --> 00:02:02,932
him off of a building.
91
00:02:02,931 --> 00:02:04,171
You excite me.
92
00:02:04,172 --> 00:02:05,722
I mean, if you had three cars
93
00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:06,434
and I had one, that mean you
94
00:02:06,431 --> 00:02:08,721
doing better than me, baby.
95
00:02:08,724 --> 00:02:09,664
Jackie, bring your dumb,
96
00:02:09,655 --> 00:02:10,155
excited ass on.
97
00:02:10,155 --> 00:02:12,965
[flashbulbs snapping]
98
00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,135
Today, I'm doing press for my
99
00:02:14,137 --> 00:02:14,807
latest mission of mercy,
100
00:02:14,810 --> 00:02:17,450
Raise a Billion, Feed a Billion.
101
00:02:17,448 --> 00:02:18,928
And so far, we have raised
102
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,661
enough to feed...
103
00:02:20,655 --> 00:02:22,445
What the--
104
00:02:22,448 --> 00:02:22,878
79 people.
105
00:02:22,879 --> 00:02:25,899
[cameras clicking]
106
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,616
Hey, look, it's Kevin Hart.
107
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:29,860
[cheering and applause]
108
00:02:29,862 --> 00:02:31,282
My friend, Kevin Hart.
109
00:02:31,275 --> 00:02:32,135
Oh, man, they love me for
110
00:02:32,137 --> 00:02:33,407
this kidney thing, Kev.
111
00:02:33,413 --> 00:02:34,523
Look at 'em.
112
00:02:34,517 --> 00:02:35,897
Shut up.
113
00:02:35,896 --> 00:02:36,966
Thank you.
114
00:02:36,965 --> 00:02:38,205
See all this applause?
115
00:02:38,206 --> 00:02:39,786
'Cause when you do good,
116
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,143
good things happen to you.
117
00:02:41,137 --> 00:02:42,167
It's called karma.
118
00:02:42,172 --> 00:02:42,972
No, Boris, it's not what it's
119
00:02:42,965 --> 00:02:43,585
called.
120
00:02:43,586 --> 00:02:44,306
What is it called?
121
00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,100
It's called being tricked
122
00:02:45,103 --> 00:02:46,003
into giving a kidney to somebody
123
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:46,760
that you don't give a damn
124
00:02:46,758 --> 00:02:47,408
about.
125
00:02:47,413 --> 00:02:48,073
No, it's not.
126
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:48,828
Yes, it is.
127
00:02:48,827 --> 00:02:49,587
Why are you sitting here dressed
128
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,236
like Wolfgang [bleep].
129
00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:51,281
I'm doing press for my event,
130
00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:52,135
which I hope you will attend
131
00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:53,237
because I'm counting on you to
132
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,621
be a celebrity server.
133
00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:55,590
Oh, yeah, yeah, you can count
134
00:02:55,586 --> 00:02:56,236
on me.
135
00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:56,931
Good.
136
00:02:56,931 --> 00:02:57,591
I'm even gonna bring my
137
00:02:57,586 --> 00:02:58,236
specialty.
138
00:02:58,241 --> 00:02:59,031
Which is...
139
00:02:59,034 --> 00:03:00,864
Oh, man, it's a hot, steamy
140
00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:02,312
bowl of kiss my ass.
141
00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:03,590
That's what it is.
142
00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:04,376
And you know what the best
143
00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:05,099
part is?
144
00:03:05,103 --> 00:03:06,413
The center, right there.
145
00:03:06,413 --> 00:03:07,863
And it'll get you full.
146
00:03:07,862 --> 00:03:08,522
[both laughing]
147
00:03:08,517 --> 00:03:10,407
Nice. Okay.
148
00:03:10,413 --> 00:03:11,693
Pose on it.
149
00:03:11,689 --> 00:03:12,929
It'll go great with my kidney
150
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,101
beans.
151
00:03:14,103 --> 00:03:15,343
[chuckling] Funny.
152
00:03:15,344 --> 00:03:16,724
I know you set me up, Boris.
153
00:03:16,724 --> 00:03:17,834
And if you think I'm not gonna
154
00:03:17,827 --> 00:03:18,827
get to the bottom of this, you
155
00:03:18,827 --> 00:03:19,897
got another thing coming.
156
00:03:19,896 --> 00:03:21,096
How about you get your sign
157
00:03:21,103 --> 00:03:21,833
right?
158
00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:25,657
It's a bazillion... stupid.
159
00:03:25,655 --> 00:03:27,515
♪
160
00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:28,897
The hell's all this crap, man?
161
00:03:28,896 --> 00:03:29,786
Well, you got some
162
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,413
chrysanthemums, bougainvilleas.
163
00:03:31,413 --> 00:03:32,903
And peonies!
164
00:03:32,896 --> 00:03:33,546
[sniffing]
165
00:03:33,551 --> 00:03:34,211
That's some real Mitch
166
00:03:34,206 --> 00:03:35,026
[bleep], man.
167
00:03:35,034 --> 00:03:35,534
Hey, Coleman!
168
00:03:35,534 --> 00:03:37,174
Yes?
169
00:03:37,172 --> 00:03:37,952
What's all this crap, man?
170
00:03:37,948 --> 00:03:39,758
Well, sir, ever since you
171
00:03:39,758 --> 00:03:41,208
gave away your kidney to
172
00:03:41,206 --> 00:03:43,336
Mr. Cannon, we've been deluged
173
00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:45,794
with tokens of appreciation.
174
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:46,553
First of all, I don't know
175
00:03:46,551 --> 00:03:47,381
what deluge mean.
176
00:03:47,379 --> 00:03:48,719
So don't come at me like that.
177
00:03:48,724 --> 00:03:49,934
Oh, check this out, Kev.
178
00:03:49,931 --> 00:03:52,481
You got black roses.
179
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,412
The hell bought me black
180
00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:54,383
roses?
181
00:03:54,379 --> 00:03:55,829
There's a note, sir.
182
00:03:55,827 --> 00:03:57,137
Give me note, give me note.
183
00:03:57,137 --> 00:04:00,447
To-- to, uh, to whom...
184
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,028
To-- to whom-- whom-- to--
185
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:04,484
Coleman, read this 'cause I--
186
00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:05,552
I can't pronounce that.
187
00:04:05,551 --> 00:04:06,311
What is that?
188
00:04:06,310 --> 00:04:07,970
"To whom it may concern."
189
00:04:07,965 --> 00:04:09,375
Wait, who the hell is whom?
190
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,619
I believe it's referring to
191
00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,030
you, sir.
192
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:15,004
"Each night, when I go to sleep,
193
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,410
I die, and then, in the morning,
194
00:04:17,413 --> 00:04:19,593
I am reborn."
195
00:04:19,586 --> 00:04:20,826
What the hell does that mean?
196
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,547
It's Gandhi, sir.
197
00:04:22,551 --> 00:04:23,621
Gandhi?
198
00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:25,240
Yes, sir, and there's more.
199
00:04:25,241 --> 00:04:28,031
"Tomorrow, I shall live, and
200
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:30,484
tonight...
201
00:04:30,482 --> 00:04:32,102
you shall die."
202
00:04:32,103 --> 00:04:33,213
Hold on, hold on.
203
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:33,996
What?
204
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,170
And then below it, there's a
205
00:04:35,172 --> 00:04:36,412
stamp of a butterfly.
206
00:04:36,413 --> 00:04:37,903
Stamp of a butterfly.
207
00:04:37,896 --> 00:04:39,026
Butterfly?
208
00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:41,034
Stamp of a butterfly.
209
00:04:41,034 --> 00:04:42,384
That is some scary [bleep].
210
00:04:42,379 --> 00:04:43,379
Butterflies.
211
00:04:43,379 --> 00:04:45,169
Well, I must say, it's very
212
00:04:45,172 --> 00:04:46,522
well thought through.
213
00:04:46,517 --> 00:04:48,687
The quote and the butterfly,
214
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:49,549
they all reinforce...
215
00:04:49,551 --> 00:04:50,211
Stop it.
216
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:51,376
... the overall image of
217
00:04:51,379 --> 00:04:52,339
rebirth, sir.
218
00:04:52,344 --> 00:04:53,284
Coleman, stop.
219
00:04:53,275 --> 00:04:54,065
Yes, sir.
220
00:04:54,068 --> 00:04:54,898
Butterflies.
221
00:04:54,896 --> 00:04:56,686
That's Mariah, man.
222
00:04:56,689 --> 00:04:58,969
Mariah is trying to bribe me to
223
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,065
give a kidney to Nick.
224
00:05:00,068 --> 00:05:01,068
That's what this all about.
225
00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:01,998
♪ Butterflies
226
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,520
Kevin, you sound dumb as
227
00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:04,277
you look.
228
00:05:04,275 --> 00:05:05,135
Are you serious right now?
229
00:05:05,137 --> 00:05:05,997
Mariah wouldn't do no
230
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,210
[bleep] like that, you crazy.
231
00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:08,136
You don't think Mariah's
232
00:05:08,137 --> 00:05:08,897
gangster?
233
00:05:08,896 --> 00:05:09,656
Are you serious?
234
00:05:09,655 --> 00:05:10,475
You think that little
235
00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:11,282
light-skinned woman is just
236
00:05:11,275 --> 00:05:11,965
innocent?
237
00:05:11,965 --> 00:05:12,825
Well, you know what?
238
00:05:12,827 --> 00:05:13,587
That's your problem and you
239
00:05:13,586 --> 00:05:14,476
got to deal with it.
240
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,832
All that gangster [bleep],
241
00:05:15,827 --> 00:05:16,657
I don't care about all that.
242
00:05:16,655 --> 00:05:17,925
I finally broke down Trina's
243
00:05:17,931 --> 00:05:18,791
assistant.
244
00:05:18,793 --> 00:05:19,793
[laughing]
245
00:05:19,793 --> 00:05:20,793
We going out tonight.
246
00:05:20,793 --> 00:05:21,523
Hold on, hold on, I need
247
00:05:21,517 --> 00:05:22,167
somebody to protect me.
248
00:05:22,172 --> 00:05:23,172
Well, I'ma protect you
249
00:05:23,172 --> 00:05:24,002
while I'm gone.
250
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000
I'm gonna call you to check on
251
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:25,690
you.
252
00:05:25,689 --> 00:05:27,169
Take these roses to her because
253
00:05:27,172 --> 00:05:28,242
she might need them, since we
254
00:05:28,241 --> 00:05:29,901
don't know who these go.
255
00:05:29,896 --> 00:05:31,996
And, uh, I'ma holler at you,
256
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:32,660
brother.
257
00:05:32,655 --> 00:05:33,755
Ah! This is gonna help me...
258
00:05:33,758 --> 00:05:34,478
Okay, wait, wait, Coleman,
259
00:05:34,482 --> 00:05:35,342
what about you-- you gonna stay
260
00:05:35,344 --> 00:05:36,484
the night tonight or what?
261
00:05:36,482 --> 00:05:38,212
I'm afraid not, sir.
262
00:05:38,206 --> 00:05:40,856
I have tickets for the Stones
263
00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,522
tonight, sir.
264
00:05:42,517 --> 00:05:44,337
I used to be their roadie back
265
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,384
in the day.
266
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:46,409
Wait, hold on, hold on,
267
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:47,283
The Stones?
268
00:05:47,275 --> 00:05:48,405
So that means that you-- you
269
00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:50,033
used to get stoned?
270
00:05:50,034 --> 00:05:53,864
I still do, sir.
271
00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:56,412
Okay, all right, this--
272
00:05:56,413 --> 00:05:57,863
Very best of luck, sir, in
273
00:05:57,862 --> 00:05:59,452
case I never see you again.
274
00:05:59,448 --> 00:06:00,688
What the hell is that
275
00:06:00,689 --> 00:06:01,929
supposed to mean?
276
00:06:01,931 --> 00:06:03,031
Hey, Coleman, let me tell you
277
00:06:03,034 --> 00:06:04,864
something, I'm still a man.
278
00:06:04,862 --> 00:06:05,972
Coleman, you understand what
279
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:06,965
I'm saying?
280
00:06:06,965 --> 00:06:07,965
It don't much scare me.
281
00:06:07,965 --> 00:06:11,165
I'm gonna fight for mine!
282
00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:16,002
I ain't scared of nothin'!
283
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,760
♪
284
00:06:18,758 --> 00:06:20,138
Mr. Hart?
285
00:06:20,137 --> 00:06:21,547
Mr. Hart, wake up.
286
00:06:21,551 --> 00:06:23,761
No, no.
287
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:26,338
Wha...
288
00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,454
Is that my kidney?
289
00:06:27,448 --> 00:06:28,998
No, sir, this is Mr. Cannon's
290
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:29,930
kidney.
291
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:30,691
You gave it to him.
292
00:06:30,689 --> 00:06:31,929
No, no, I don't remember
293
00:06:31,931 --> 00:06:32,791
that.
294
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,863
[screaming]
295
00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,342
Sir! Sir!
296
00:06:36,344 --> 00:06:37,974
Mr. Hart, sir!
297
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,405
Sir... Sir, it's Coleman, sir.
298
00:06:39,413 --> 00:06:40,243
All is well.
299
00:06:40,241 --> 00:06:41,001
No!
300
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,760
Oh, you were having quite the
301
00:06:43,758 --> 00:06:45,068
nightmare, sir.
302
00:06:45,068 --> 00:06:46,098
Coleman, I don't know what to
303
00:06:46,103 --> 00:06:47,343
do, man.
304
00:06:47,344 --> 00:06:48,454
This whole kidney thing has got
305
00:06:48,448 --> 00:06:49,408
me tripping.
306
00:06:49,413 --> 00:06:50,833
Oh, I understand, sir.
307
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,687
It's quite a lot to deal with.
308
00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:53,619
Coleman, can I ask you a
309
00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:54,340
question?
310
00:06:54,344 --> 00:06:55,384
Certainly, sir.
311
00:06:55,379 --> 00:06:56,099
What would you do if you
312
00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:56,933
were me?
313
00:06:56,931 --> 00:06:58,481
Well, sir, as the saying
314
00:06:58,482 --> 00:07:00,972
goes, it is always better to
315
00:07:00,965 --> 00:07:02,825
give than to receive.
316
00:07:02,827 --> 00:07:04,067
I don't want the bull
317
00:07:04,068 --> 00:07:05,338
[bleep].
318
00:07:05,344 --> 00:07:06,344
Real talk, Coleman.
319
00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:07,694
What would you do?
320
00:07:07,689 --> 00:07:09,999
Well, sir...
321
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,760
if I were to keep it 100,
322
00:07:12,758 --> 00:07:15,068
I would tell Mr. Cannon to go
323
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:16,928
[bleep] himself.
324
00:07:16,931 --> 00:07:18,411
That's what the hell I'm
325
00:07:18,413 --> 00:07:19,593
talking about.
326
00:07:19,586 --> 00:07:20,756
If the white man would do it,
327
00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:21,898
then it's good enough for me.
328
00:07:21,896 --> 00:07:22,856
You know what, Coleman?
329
00:07:22,862 --> 00:07:24,342
Just for that, you can have the
330
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,284
rest of the day off.
331
00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:26,165
Are you serious, sir?
332
00:07:26,172 --> 00:07:27,002
No, I'm not.
333
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,410
'Cause I'm hungry.
334
00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:29,143
I need something to settle my
335
00:07:29,137 --> 00:07:30,027
stomach, so, Coleman, you need
336
00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:31,174
to go make me something fast.
337
00:07:31,172 --> 00:07:32,102
Very good.
338
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,933
♪
339
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,591
Hey, how you doing, Tonto?
340
00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:36,616
To assist me in feeding the
341
00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:38,550
hungry, I called upon my A-list
342
00:07:38,551 --> 00:07:39,721
celebrity friends, but
343
00:07:39,724 --> 00:07:40,694
unfortunately, they're on the
344
00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:41,999
D-list when it comes to giving
345
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000
back.
346
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,860
So I called all of my D-list
347
00:07:44,862 --> 00:07:46,552
celebrity friends because they
348
00:07:46,551 --> 00:07:48,691
ain't got [bleep] to do.
349
00:07:48,689 --> 00:07:49,999
I got a script for you, man.
350
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:50,830
What?
351
00:07:50,827 --> 00:07:51,687
Yeah, it's called
352
00:07:51,689 --> 00:07:52,589
"The Pursuit of Happiness."
353
00:07:52,586 --> 00:07:53,826
And it's about this guy that
354
00:07:53,827 --> 00:07:54,857
sells these bone density
355
00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:56,032
scanners with his son.
356
00:07:56,034 --> 00:07:56,904
I was thinking we'd get
357
00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:58,276
Will Smith to do the lead 'cause
358
00:07:58,275 --> 00:07:59,405
I heard that you and him are
359
00:07:59,413 --> 00:08:00,413
good buddies.
360
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:01,073
You heard that?
361
00:08:01,068 --> 00:08:01,828
Uh-huh.
362
00:08:01,827 --> 00:08:02,517
On the street?
363
00:08:02,517 --> 00:08:03,167
The streets is talking?
364
00:08:03,172 --> 00:08:04,002
Take some of those beans and
365
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,380
some mac and cheese and...
366
00:08:05,379 --> 00:08:06,379
There you go.
367
00:08:06,379 --> 00:08:09,169
A side of St. Louis sausage.
368
00:08:09,172 --> 00:08:10,412
What you say?
369
00:08:10,413 --> 00:08:13,863
You heard me.
370
00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:16,092
It's gettin' hot in "herre."
371
00:08:16,086 --> 00:08:17,276
I'm not really homeless.
372
00:08:17,275 --> 00:08:18,305
I'm a director.
373
00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:19,450
I'm out here doing research for
374
00:08:19,448 --> 00:08:20,158
my next film, "Holly Hood."
375
00:08:20,155 --> 00:08:22,335
That's two words.
376
00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:23,314
It's about a young boy, comes
377
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:24,520
out from Cleveland, Ohio, to be
378
00:08:24,517 --> 00:08:25,687
an actor, but he winds up
379
00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:27,239
dancing on tables for money.
380
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:29,141
Call me, you'd be perfect for
381
00:08:29,137 --> 00:08:29,997
the lead.
382
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,280
But if the play's about a
383
00:08:31,275 --> 00:08:32,375
little boy, then what part would
384
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:33,239
I play?
385
00:08:33,241 --> 00:08:34,101
He gets a sex change
386
00:08:34,103 --> 00:08:35,413
operation.
387
00:08:35,413 --> 00:08:37,833
That little boy is you,
388
00:08:37,827 --> 00:08:40,307
isn't it?
389
00:08:40,310 --> 00:08:41,380
Hey.
390
00:08:41,379 --> 00:08:42,589
Ho! Whoa.
391
00:08:42,586 --> 00:08:43,116
What you doing?
392
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,030
Get your hands off of me.
393
00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:44,834
Kevin.
394
00:08:44,827 --> 00:08:45,427
What are you doing?
395
00:08:45,431 --> 00:08:46,341
Didn't you get my messages?
396
00:08:46,344 --> 00:08:47,484
Bobby, I'm not going to
397
00:08:47,482 --> 00:08:48,342
Dubai, man.
398
00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:49,524
This man has chips.
399
00:08:49,517 --> 00:08:50,547
I'm talking about one.
400
00:08:50,551 --> 00:08:51,451
Bobby, I don't care
401
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,238
what it is.
402
00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:53,521
Man, all you gotta do is
403
00:08:53,517 --> 00:08:55,657
a hot ten minutes.
404
00:08:55,655 --> 00:08:56,965
And I'll take care of the rest.
405
00:08:56,965 --> 00:08:58,515
Okay, Bobby, listen, you can
406
00:08:58,517 --> 00:08:59,997
take care of it all.
407
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,690
Go over there, do it all.
408
00:09:01,689 --> 00:09:02,549
Get all the money.
409
00:09:02,551 --> 00:09:04,141
I'm not gonna do it 'cause I
410
00:09:04,137 --> 00:09:06,207
don't "rock wit'cha" like that.
411
00:09:06,206 --> 00:09:07,546
Okay.
412
00:09:07,551 --> 00:09:09,591
That's funny-ass [bleep].
413
00:09:09,586 --> 00:09:10,856
Pose on it.
414
00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:11,932
[both laughing]
415
00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:13,691
Really?
416
00:09:13,689 --> 00:09:14,859
You better watch yourself,
417
00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:15,932
Kevin Hart.
418
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:17,551
Every little step you take.
419
00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:18,521
Just the Mitches I wanted
420
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:19,337
to see.
421
00:09:19,344 --> 00:09:20,074
Yeah.
422
00:09:20,068 --> 00:09:20,788
What's up, Kev?
423
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:21,483
Hey, man.
424
00:09:21,482 --> 00:09:22,412
I'm on to you, man.
425
00:09:22,413 --> 00:09:23,553
This whole kidney thing was a
426
00:09:23,551 --> 00:09:24,481
setup.
427
00:09:24,482 --> 00:09:25,212
What are you talking about
428
00:09:25,206 --> 00:09:25,856
a setup?
429
00:09:25,862 --> 00:09:26,972
You tell me how in the hell,
430
00:09:26,965 --> 00:09:28,405
out of a bazillion people, that
431
00:09:28,413 --> 00:09:29,663
I'm a perfect match?
432
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:30,755
What, like we made you the
433
00:09:30,758 --> 00:09:32,478
perfect match, Kevin, really?
434
00:09:32,482 --> 00:09:33,412
I don't know how it went
435
00:09:33,413 --> 00:09:35,343
down, but I know it went down.
436
00:09:35,344 --> 00:09:36,074
I don't know what you're
437
00:09:36,068 --> 00:09:36,928
talking about, but I'm glad
438
00:09:36,931 --> 00:09:37,661
you're here.
439
00:09:37,655 --> 00:09:38,405
Why don't you get over here, put
440
00:09:38,413 --> 00:09:39,173
your apron on, and help us serve
441
00:09:39,172 --> 00:09:39,832
these people.
442
00:09:39,827 --> 00:09:40,827
We're gonna get to the bottom
443
00:09:40,827 --> 00:09:41,547
of this.
444
00:09:41,551 --> 00:09:42,211
That's the only reason I'm
445
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:42,896
coming over here.
446
00:09:42,896 --> 00:09:44,236
Help me, help me over.
447
00:09:44,241 --> 00:09:44,931
People trying to eat.
448
00:09:44,931 --> 00:09:46,481
Watch out.
449
00:09:46,482 --> 00:09:47,142
[clatter]
450
00:09:47,137 --> 00:09:47,997
Ohh!
451
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:48,760
What are you doing with your
452
00:09:48,758 --> 00:09:49,378
feet, Kevin?
453
00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:50,339
Don't put your feet up in the--
454
00:09:50,344 --> 00:09:51,244
Are you crazy?
455
00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:52,031
They'll still eat it.
456
00:09:52,034 --> 00:09:53,174
There you go, man.
457
00:09:53,172 --> 00:09:55,102
Good for you-- green beans.
458
00:09:55,103 --> 00:09:55,863
Just put the dirty ones on
459
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:56,482
the bottom.
460
00:09:56,482 --> 00:09:57,052
Well, well, well.
461
00:09:57,051 --> 00:10:00,521
If it isn't Kevin Hart, the
462
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:01,187
biggest Mitch of 'em all.
463
00:10:01,189 --> 00:10:03,789
Hah!
464
00:10:03,793 --> 00:10:04,763
[hissing]
465
00:10:04,758 --> 00:10:06,068
I suggest you back up.
466
00:10:06,068 --> 00:10:07,068
I don't even know why you here.
467
00:10:07,068 --> 00:10:08,278
You ain't even a celebrity, man.
468
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:11,515
Yo, just shut up and give me
469
00:10:11,517 --> 00:10:13,027
some carrots, please.
470
00:10:13,034 --> 00:10:14,554
That's all I need from you, Kev.
471
00:10:14,551 --> 00:10:16,211
Heh, I'm gonna give you--
472
00:10:16,206 --> 00:10:19,476
Wait a-- wait a minute.
473
00:10:19,482 --> 00:10:22,622
You're homeless?
474
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,070
Oliver...
475
00:10:25,068 --> 00:10:27,338
How the mighty, they fall.
476
00:10:27,344 --> 00:10:28,664
Yeah, I had a rough patch
477
00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:30,025
called bad luck.
478
00:10:30,034 --> 00:10:31,074
I'll say.
479
00:10:31,068 --> 00:10:32,138
Guess what, Kevin Hart?
480
00:10:32,137 --> 00:10:33,167
You got bigger ones coming your
481
00:10:33,172 --> 00:10:35,342
way, and it's called revenge.
482
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:36,414
Oh, you wanna talk revenge?
483
00:10:36,413 --> 00:10:37,483
Let's talk revenge.
484
00:10:37,482 --> 00:10:38,412
Jennifer!
485
00:10:38,413 --> 00:10:39,173
Stop.
486
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,032
Jennifer!
487
00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:40,724
Shut up.
488
00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:41,794
Jennifer!
489
00:10:41,793 --> 00:10:42,623
Yes?
490
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:43,760
Hey, can you do me a favor,
491
00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:44,998
sweetie-- can we get this guy
492
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:45,860
some dessert?
493
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:46,592
'Cause he's really
494
00:10:46,586 --> 00:10:48,896
starting to bum me out.
495
00:10:48,896 --> 00:10:49,826
Oliver?
496
00:10:49,827 --> 00:10:50,547
Yeah.
497
00:10:50,551 --> 00:10:51,551
Is that you?
498
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,381
Is that Oliver?
499
00:10:52,379 --> 00:10:54,239
Is it? Uh, yeah, it's me.
500
00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:55,481
Hi, Jen.
501
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:58,452
Uh... you look amazing,
502
00:10:58,448 --> 00:10:59,378
as always.
503
00:10:59,379 --> 00:11:00,169
Hmm.
504
00:11:00,172 --> 00:11:01,242
Well, you don't.
505
00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:02,001
I know, kind of looks
506
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:02,720
bad to me.
507
00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:03,414
And where the hell have
508
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:04,173
you been?
509
00:11:04,172 --> 00:11:05,002
I--
510
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:05,900
And how dare you not return
511
00:11:05,896 --> 00:11:06,616
my phone calls!
512
00:11:06,620 --> 00:11:07,860
He didn't return your calls?
513
00:11:07,862 --> 00:11:09,312
I would never do-- why didn't
514
00:11:09,310 --> 00:11:09,970
you call her?
515
00:11:09,965 --> 00:11:10,855
Hey, hey, hey.
516
00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:11,692
How dare you not return my
517
00:11:11,689 --> 00:11:12,479
phone calls.
518
00:11:12,482 --> 00:11:13,102
Calm down, calm down.
519
00:11:13,103 --> 00:11:13,793
You could've called her
520
00:11:13,793 --> 00:11:14,523
from the shelter.
521
00:11:14,517 --> 00:11:15,237
Listen, listen, listen.
522
00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:16,001
You get those bum hands off
523
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:16,660
of her.
524
00:11:16,655 --> 00:11:17,615
Listen, I was embarrassed to
525
00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:19,100
face you after Kevin fired me.
526
00:11:19,103 --> 00:11:20,453
He blackballed me so no one else
527
00:11:20,448 --> 00:11:21,588
would give me a job.
528
00:11:21,586 --> 00:11:23,336
Next thing I know, I'm alone,
529
00:11:23,344 --> 00:11:24,974
broke, fighting random
530
00:11:24,965 --> 00:11:25,925
celebrities...
531
00:11:25,931 --> 00:11:26,791
Baby.
532
00:11:26,793 --> 00:11:28,003
I'm selling blood on the side
533
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,210
so I can make a little money.
534
00:11:29,206 --> 00:11:31,136
Oh, baby, oh...
535
00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:32,277
I think it's terrible what Kevin
536
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,405
did to Oliver.
537
00:11:33,413 --> 00:11:35,213
I knew that he wouldn't just
538
00:11:35,206 --> 00:11:37,136
leave me like that.
539
00:11:37,137 --> 00:11:38,787
I'll never forgive Kevin
540
00:11:38,793 --> 00:11:39,833
for this.
541
00:11:39,827 --> 00:11:41,587
You are gonna pay for this,
542
00:11:41,586 --> 00:11:42,336
Kevin Hart.
543
00:11:42,344 --> 00:11:43,524
Hah!
544
00:11:43,517 --> 00:11:44,827
Baby, you don't have to be
545
00:11:44,827 --> 00:11:46,517
embarrassed in front of me.
546
00:11:46,517 --> 00:11:48,097
Let Mama take you home, clean
547
00:11:48,103 --> 00:11:50,593
you up, feed you, give you some
548
00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:51,786
good lovin'.
549
00:11:51,793 --> 00:11:52,453
Jen...
550
00:11:52,448 --> 00:11:53,168
Mm-hmm.
551
00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:54,072
Hey, Jen, I'll tell you where
552
00:11:54,068 --> 00:11:55,338
you're not gonna go.
553
00:11:55,344 --> 00:11:56,344
His house.
554
00:11:56,344 --> 00:11:57,074
You know what, Kevin?
555
00:11:57,068 --> 00:11:59,448
Yah! Ahh!
556
00:11:59,448 --> 00:12:00,478
[hissing]
557
00:12:00,482 --> 00:12:01,622
The ass whooping I put on you
558
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:02,550
last time, it was just the
559
00:12:02,551 --> 00:12:03,551
beginning.
560
00:12:03,551 --> 00:12:05,141
This time, you won't see it
561
00:12:05,137 --> 00:12:07,207
coming.
562
00:12:07,206 --> 00:12:08,786
That's [bleep] up, Kev.
563
00:12:08,793 --> 00:12:09,523
I just don't understand the
564
00:12:09,517 --> 00:12:11,027
whole selling blood thing.
565
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:11,794
I didn't even know you could
566
00:12:11,793 --> 00:12:12,453
sell blood.
567
00:12:12,448 --> 00:12:13,278
Course you can sell blood.
568
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,475
People are doing it every day.
569
00:12:14,482 --> 00:12:15,622
And that's when I got the
570
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:16,720
idea of the century.
571
00:12:16,724 --> 00:12:17,724
Let's put it this way.
572
00:12:17,724 --> 00:12:22,144
I hit a "homeless" run.
573
00:12:22,137 --> 00:12:25,337
[chuckling]
574
00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:27,144
♪
575
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,447
Please, guys, don't get no
576
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:29,618
blood on the floor.
577
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:30,660
Kind of be careful.
578
00:12:30,655 --> 00:12:32,095
You got yourself a cookie, good.
579
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:33,003
You know, they say everything
580
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,240
happens for a reason.
581
00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:35,621
See, if I hadn't gone to Boris's
582
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:36,760
Raise a Bazillion, Feed a
583
00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:37,898
Bazillion thing, then I wouldn't
584
00:12:37,896 --> 00:12:38,786
never have been hit by that
585
00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:39,933
lightning bolt of genius.
586
00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:41,001
Why give up my kidney when
587
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,930
I can buy one?
588
00:12:42,931 --> 00:12:44,971
What is going on here, Kevin?
589
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:45,785
Yeah, Kev.
590
00:12:45,793 --> 00:12:46,793
Give everybody a cookie.
591
00:12:46,793 --> 00:12:47,663
We just supposed to be
592
00:12:47,655 --> 00:12:48,755
feeding these mother [bleep],
593
00:12:48,758 --> 00:12:49,688
not letting the move in.
594
00:12:49,689 --> 00:12:50,449
Listen, I'm doing what good
595
00:12:50,448 --> 00:12:51,788
friends do, trying to find
596
00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:52,793
somebody else to give Nick
597
00:12:52,793 --> 00:12:53,623
a damn kidney.
598
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:54,620
Got another one.
599
00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:55,660
Got another one, Kev.
600
00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:56,405
Thank you.
601
00:12:56,413 --> 00:12:57,243
Wait, Jackie, why is this wet
602
00:12:57,241 --> 00:12:58,861
on the outside?
603
00:12:58,862 --> 00:12:59,552
Jack--
604
00:12:59,551 --> 00:13:00,621
Are you serious?
605
00:13:00,620 --> 00:13:01,760
Blood and cookies?
606
00:13:01,758 --> 00:13:02,688
Stupid, Jackie, it's blood.
607
00:13:02,689 --> 00:13:04,139
This is illegal, man.
608
00:13:04,137 --> 00:13:05,277
Contain this for me.
609
00:13:05,275 --> 00:13:06,205
Put this in there.
610
00:13:06,206 --> 00:13:07,276
Go get yourself a cookie.
611
00:13:07,275 --> 00:13:07,965
Thank you.
612
00:13:07,965 --> 00:13:09,095
Oh, my God.
613
00:13:09,103 --> 00:13:09,973
What are you-- listen.
614
00:13:09,965 --> 00:13:11,305
I am trying to help.
615
00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:12,070
Kev, Kev, you're not thinking
616
00:13:12,068 --> 00:13:13,068
about pulling out, are you?
617
00:13:13,068 --> 00:13:13,998
First of all, I'm always
618
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:14,830
thinking about pulling out.
619
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:15,827
I'm the king of pulling out.
620
00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:16,857
You can't do that.
621
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,002
Not at all, man.
622
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,380
Nick is depending on you, man.
623
00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:20,339
You know, that's easy for
624
00:13:20,344 --> 00:13:21,284
y'all to say 'cause y'all not
625
00:13:21,275 --> 00:13:22,095
the one giving up the damn
626
00:13:22,103 --> 00:13:22,763
kidney.
627
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:23,448
Mother[bleep] right.
628
00:13:23,448 --> 00:13:24,168
Yeah, you know what's funny
629
00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:24,902
to me is that when y'all found
630
00:13:24,896 --> 00:13:25,546
out that I was the perfect
631
00:13:25,551 --> 00:13:26,521
match, y'all was somewhere
632
00:13:26,517 --> 00:13:27,997
parading and dancing all around
633
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,240
like a bunch of fools.
634
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:30,311
Jackie told me he saw you.
635
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,900
Jackie, what was they doing when
636
00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:32,826
they found out that they wasn't
637
00:13:32,827 --> 00:13:33,547
the perfect match?
638
00:13:33,551 --> 00:13:35,521
Cabbage patching, all this.
639
00:13:35,517 --> 00:13:36,337
Get out of here.
640
00:13:36,344 --> 00:13:37,214
Celebrating.
641
00:13:37,206 --> 00:13:38,516
Kev, you can't renege, man.
642
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:39,547
What did you just say?
643
00:13:39,551 --> 00:13:40,661
You can't renege.
644
00:13:40,655 --> 00:13:41,475
Don't call me
645
00:13:41,482 --> 00:13:42,142
no reneger, man.
646
00:13:42,137 --> 00:13:43,207
Not in my house.
647
00:13:43,206 --> 00:13:44,476
We don't use the word reneger in
648
00:13:44,482 --> 00:13:45,312
my house.
649
00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:46,030
I have no idea what that
650
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:46,764
means.
651
00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:47,448
You know what it is.
652
00:13:47,448 --> 00:13:48,238
You think I'm a reneger?
653
00:13:48,241 --> 00:13:49,281
Do you think I'm a reneger?
654
00:13:49,275 --> 00:13:50,205
You know what, I'm gonna show
655
00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,306
you some-- Jackie, give it to
656
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:52,520
me, give me the wad.
657
00:13:52,517 --> 00:13:53,337
Give it to me.
658
00:13:53,344 --> 00:13:54,524
The weezie.
659
00:13:54,517 --> 00:13:56,757
$10,000 right now to whoever
660
00:13:56,758 --> 00:13:58,068
is the perfect match, people!
661
00:13:58,068 --> 00:13:59,028
Give me that, what are you--
662
00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:00,794
You can't buy these people.
663
00:14:00,793 --> 00:14:01,933
I'll buy what I wanna buy.
664
00:14:01,931 --> 00:14:02,931
Listen up, everybody.
665
00:14:02,931 --> 00:14:04,241
You don't have to do this,
666
00:14:04,241 --> 00:14:05,101
all right?
667
00:14:05,103 --> 00:14:06,483
You are too good for this.
668
00:14:06,482 --> 00:14:10,902
You need to go right now.
669
00:14:10,896 --> 00:14:11,996
All right, Boris, let me help
670
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:12,830
you out there.
671
00:14:12,827 --> 00:14:14,067
All right, check it out, uh,
672
00:14:14,068 --> 00:14:15,308
everyone, we're serving free
673
00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:16,340
drinks downstairs.
674
00:14:16,344 --> 00:14:17,314
Wait.
675
00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:18,140
Are you serious?
676
00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:19,587
Wait, wait, no, no, hey!
677
00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:20,896
That's what got you in the first
678
00:14:20,896 --> 00:14:21,996
place!
679
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000
Slow down!
680
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000
Look, look, you're gonna go back
681
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:24,860
to skid row.
682
00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:25,832
Listen, guys, I'm trying to give
683
00:14:25,827 --> 00:14:29,137
you free soap, free showers!
684
00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:30,377
[door slamming]
685
00:14:30,379 --> 00:14:32,379
That was my chance.
686
00:14:32,379 --> 00:14:33,449
Kev.
687
00:14:33,448 --> 00:14:34,338
That was my chance.
688
00:14:34,344 --> 00:14:35,284
All right, look.
689
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,515
Just-- that was my chance,
690
00:14:36,517 --> 00:14:37,447
and it walked out.
691
00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:38,588
You're gonna feel so much
692
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,336
better tomorrow after the
693
00:14:39,344 --> 00:14:40,004
procedure.
694
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:40,760
I don't know.
695
00:14:40,758 --> 00:14:41,518
You're gonna look at Nick,
696
00:14:41,517 --> 00:14:42,237
he's gonna be happy.
697
00:14:42,241 --> 00:14:43,071
He's gonna be smiling.
698
00:14:43,068 --> 00:14:43,898
You're his friend.
699
00:14:43,896 --> 00:14:44,996
You're saving his life.
700
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:45,860
You're doing the right thing,
701
00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:46,592
Kevin.
702
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:47,276
Yes.
703
00:14:47,275 --> 00:14:48,025
You guys just gotta
704
00:14:48,034 --> 00:14:49,004
understand that it's just
705
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,140
a little-- it's a little scary,
706
00:14:50,137 --> 00:14:51,067
you know?
707
00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:51,998
[sniffling]
708
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,140
I-I've never even met my kidney,
709
00:14:54,137 --> 00:14:56,337
and now I have to give it away.
710
00:14:56,344 --> 00:14:58,454
I don't wanna give it away.
711
00:14:58,448 --> 00:15:00,338
I'm-- I'm so nervous and--
712
00:15:00,344 --> 00:15:02,144
Thank you, Jackie.
713
00:15:02,137 --> 00:15:03,337
[sniffling] I'm so nervous.
714
00:15:03,344 --> 00:15:04,864
Can you guys sing me a song
715
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,242
that'll put me to sleep, please?
716
00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:07,141
Yeah, sing him a song.
717
00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:08,137
Hey, Nelly, I don't want any
718
00:15:08,137 --> 00:15:09,547
of that St. Louis country
719
00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:10,411
grandma stuff.
720
00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:11,903
Aw, come on, man.
721
00:15:11,896 --> 00:15:13,786
♪
722
00:15:13,793 --> 00:15:14,793
He's not gonna do it,
723
00:15:14,793 --> 00:15:15,523
I'll tell you.
724
00:15:15,517 --> 00:15:16,547
Oh, no, he's gonna do it.
725
00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:17,451
No, it's gotta happen.
726
00:15:17,448 --> 00:15:18,338
We can't leave Nick hanging like
727
00:15:18,344 --> 00:15:19,034
that.
728
00:15:19,034 --> 00:15:19,794
So what are you gonna do,
729
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:20,553
hold him down?
730
00:15:20,551 --> 00:15:21,521
If we have to.
731
00:15:21,517 --> 00:15:22,997
And I'm with Shake, a'ight?
732
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,000
If Kevin's too chicken [bleep]
733
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000
to give up his kidney like he
734
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,030
promised, then we drag his ass
735
00:15:26,034 --> 00:15:27,554
down to the hospital ourself.
736
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:28,481
Well, it's the only way
737
00:15:28,482 --> 00:15:29,342
you're gonna get him down there
738
00:15:29,344 --> 00:15:30,034
tomorrow.
739
00:15:30,034 --> 00:15:30,834
Well, that's why we got
740
00:15:30,827 --> 00:15:32,787
Plan "B."
741
00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:34,623
[both] Jackie Long.
742
00:15:34,620 --> 00:15:35,930
We promised Jackie that if
743
00:15:35,931 --> 00:15:36,761
you get Kevin down to the
744
00:15:36,758 --> 00:15:37,788
hospital, we'd give him the
745
00:15:37,793 --> 00:15:39,173
money that he owes Serena.
746
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:42,072
Mm-hmm, all $92.
747
00:15:42,068 --> 00:15:43,338
And you believe that?
748
00:15:43,344 --> 00:15:44,594
He said he was with it.
749
00:15:44,586 --> 00:15:45,716
Damn right.
750
00:15:45,724 --> 00:15:48,934
For $92, [bleep], Jackie would
751
00:15:48,931 --> 00:15:54,141
cut out his grandmama's kidney.
752
00:15:54,137 --> 00:15:56,237
Hey, man, Nick, I--
753
00:15:56,241 --> 00:15:57,661
Look, I gotta say something,
754
00:15:57,655 --> 00:15:58,715
dude, I don't know about this--
755
00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,384
Kev, Kev, let me go first.
756
00:16:00,379 --> 00:16:01,169
[sighing]
757
00:16:01,172 --> 00:16:03,592
Look, I know in the past, we
758
00:16:03,586 --> 00:16:04,896
haven't been the closest.
759
00:16:04,896 --> 00:16:06,096
That's what I'm saying, dude,
760
00:16:06,103 --> 00:16:06,863
so we don't really need to go
761
00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:07,482
through--
762
00:16:07,482 --> 00:16:10,142
And we've had our issues.
763
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,097
But I wanna say, from this day
764
00:16:12,103 --> 00:16:14,073
forward...
765
00:16:14,068 --> 00:16:16,548
[sighs] we're no longer friends.
766
00:16:16,551 --> 00:16:17,621
Then why the hell am I here,
767
00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:18,280
Nick?
768
00:16:18,275 --> 00:16:19,165
I got other stuff I can do,
769
00:16:19,172 --> 00:16:20,072
dude, I'm not trying--
770
00:16:20,068 --> 00:16:21,998
Kev, let me finish.
771
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,240
We're brothers.
772
00:16:23,241 --> 00:16:24,831
Hell you talking about, we--
773
00:16:24,827 --> 00:16:25,857
Now-- now what were you
774
00:16:25,862 --> 00:16:26,902
gonna say?
775
00:16:26,896 --> 00:16:27,856
Hey, man, what the--
776
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:28,902
Just give it back, brother.
777
00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:29,756
Give it back, I don't wanna do
778
00:16:29,758 --> 00:16:30,718
this if you ain't trying--
779
00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:31,414
Oh, hey.
780
00:16:31,413 --> 00:16:33,593
Whoa... hey, okay...
781
00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:34,996
Oh, whoa, Bert and Ernie,
782
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,100
what the hell? Y'all got--
783
00:16:36,103 --> 00:16:36,863
Get in closer--
784
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:38,862
No, no, no... no.
785
00:16:38,862 --> 00:16:40,002
Never mind that-- here, here.
786
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,030
Pass these cups around right
787
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:41,834
here, man.
788
00:16:41,827 --> 00:16:42,827
No, no, no, nothing to
789
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:43,587
celebrate yet.
790
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:44,336
We have an operation.
791
00:16:44,344 --> 00:16:45,144
We can't drink.
792
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,337
Oh, this ain't for you.
793
00:16:46,344 --> 00:16:47,724
Hey, I'd like to propose a
794
00:16:47,724 --> 00:16:48,624
toast.
795
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:49,760
Propose a toast, Shake!
796
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,688
To the kidney brothers.
797
00:16:50,689 --> 00:16:51,409
We don't really need to
798
00:16:51,413 --> 00:16:52,243
really go through with that.
799
00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:53,621
Okay, gentlemen, okay.
800
00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:54,340
Here's the doctor.
801
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:55,934
Let the doctor through.
802
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,031
It's about that time.
803
00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:58,144
Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
804
00:16:58,137 --> 00:16:59,277
Wait, wait, no, no.
805
00:16:59,275 --> 00:16:59,995
That's right.
806
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,070
We did it, y'all!
807
00:17:01,068 --> 00:17:02,028
It's skee yee!
808
00:17:02,034 --> 00:17:03,244
No, ain't no-- ain't no
809
00:17:03,241 --> 00:17:04,281
skee yeeing!
810
00:17:04,275 --> 00:17:05,205
[overlapping chatter]
811
00:17:05,206 --> 00:17:06,826
Take that with you.
812
00:17:06,827 --> 00:17:08,407
Don't worry about it, okay?
813
00:17:08,413 --> 00:17:09,383
Skee yee!
814
00:17:09,379 --> 00:17:11,479
[crying] Skee yee...
815
00:17:11,482 --> 00:17:12,902
Skee yee...
816
00:17:12,896 --> 00:17:14,066
Mister Incredible!
817
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:14,858
All right.
818
00:17:14,862 --> 00:17:15,522
That's my dog.
819
00:17:15,517 --> 00:17:16,167
That's what I'm talking
820
00:17:16,172 --> 00:17:16,862
about.
821
00:17:16,862 --> 00:17:17,522
Well, we did it, y'all.
822
00:17:17,517 --> 00:17:18,167
We did it.
823
00:17:18,172 --> 00:17:19,032
We got him in there.
824
00:17:19,034 --> 00:17:19,904
That's what I'm talking
825
00:17:19,896 --> 00:17:20,586
about, man.
826
00:17:20,586 --> 00:17:21,756
Right? We did it.
827
00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:22,548
It was like pulling teeth,
828
00:17:22,551 --> 00:17:23,241
though.
829
00:17:23,241 --> 00:17:24,001
No, but you-- you-- what?
830
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:24,760
You made everybody--
831
00:17:24,758 --> 00:17:26,138
[crashing, Kevin screaming]
832
00:17:26,137 --> 00:17:26,967
Whoa.
833
00:17:26,965 --> 00:17:27,825
I'm not doing it!
834
00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:28,717
Ain't nobody getting
835
00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:31,314
my kidneys, man!
836
00:17:31,310 --> 00:17:32,660
Move!
837
00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:33,925
Nobody's getting it!
838
00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:35,621
You're not getting my kidney!
839
00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:36,340
Move!
840
00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:38,144
Coleman, hurry up with my bags.
841
00:17:38,137 --> 00:17:39,027
I gotta get the hell out of
842
00:17:39,034 --> 00:17:39,764
here, man.
843
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:40,788
They're not getting my kidney.
844
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:41,693
Mr. Hart.
845
00:17:41,689 --> 00:17:42,659
Yeah?
846
00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:44,655
Do you require your fins?
847
00:17:44,655 --> 00:17:45,655
Yes.
848
00:17:45,655 --> 00:17:46,925
What kind of question is that?
849
00:17:46,931 --> 00:17:48,381
I'm going to Bazill, Coleman.
850
00:17:48,379 --> 00:17:49,519
"Bazill"?
851
00:17:49,517 --> 00:17:51,337
Yes, Coleman, Bazill.
852
00:17:51,344 --> 00:17:52,554
Sir, I am very sorry, but
853
00:17:52,551 --> 00:17:54,451
there is no such country as
854
00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,448
Bazill.
855
00:17:55,448 --> 00:17:56,688
Coleman, I swear, sometimes
856
00:17:56,689 --> 00:17:57,479
I think you got to be the
857
00:17:57,482 --> 00:17:58,382
dumbest person on the face of
858
00:17:58,379 --> 00:17:59,069
this earth.
859
00:17:59,068 --> 00:18:00,448
Bazill is a country, and it's
860
00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:01,208
a big one.
861
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,026
It's right on the coast of
862
00:18:02,034 --> 00:18:02,974
"Argentuna."
863
00:18:02,965 --> 00:18:03,755
Be sure to send me a
864
00:18:03,758 --> 00:18:04,618
postcard.
865
00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:05,520
I will, I will.
866
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:06,337
Shall I bring the car around,
867
00:18:06,344 --> 00:18:07,034
sir?
868
00:18:07,034 --> 00:18:07,974
Yes, Coleman, please, go make
869
00:18:07,965 --> 00:18:08,825
yourself useful.
870
00:18:08,827 --> 00:18:09,617
Very good, sir.
871
00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:10,900
Thank you, do something.
872
00:18:10,896 --> 00:18:12,476
Ask me about my damn feet.
873
00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:13,522
You seen my feet.
874
00:18:13,517 --> 00:18:14,617
I get in there barefoot,
875
00:18:14,620 --> 00:18:15,660
I scare them fish away.
876
00:18:15,655 --> 00:18:16,515
I need these fins.
877
00:18:16,517 --> 00:18:17,307
[doorbell chiming]
878
00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:18,590
♪ [ominous music]
879
00:18:18,586 --> 00:18:19,926
Coleman, don't you get
880
00:18:19,931 --> 00:18:21,861
that door!
881
00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:24,032
Coleman!
882
00:18:24,034 --> 00:18:27,344
Coleman?
883
00:18:27,344 --> 00:18:29,004
Ohh.
884
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,450
I'll kill you.
885
00:18:30,448 --> 00:18:32,788
Weapons.
886
00:18:46,103 --> 00:18:57,693
Coleman!
887
00:18:57,689 --> 00:19:00,589
What are you doing here?
888
00:19:00,586 --> 00:19:07,686
Uhh!
♪
53451
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.