All language subtitles for B Positive 1x12 - Canine Extraction (English)

There you go, three more reps.
And three, two, one.

- Yeah.
- Hell yeah!

Go ahead, shake it out.

Oh, hey, Dr. Pete. How is Ghana?

Oh, yeah, Cannoli's great.

You've been getting the videos, right?

Hey, that's my work loafer.

Wednesday? Wow. Okay.

Yeah, I'll have him ready for you.

Okay, I will see you then.

Stupid dog bones are everywhere.

Are you okay, Cannoli?

I'm fine, thanks.

Heads up...

you may find a tassel in his poop.

You mean Dr. Pete's gonna
find a tassel in his poop.

Who's Dr. Pete?

Cannoli's owner.

I was watching him while
he was working in Ghana.

Ghana? How do you know this guy?

- Oh, a friend of a friend.
- What friend?

Well, that friend was kind of
a friend of a different friend.

Somewhere in the chain there's a Leslie.

Anyway, he's finished
his volunteer work,

so he's coming back home,
and now he wants his dog back.

How am I gonna give him up?

He's so dumb and cute.

If he was a guy,
I would totally date him.

So, how do you plan on spending
your last few days together?

One special last meal?

My other loafer, perhaps?

Actually, he also hired me to
train Cannoli while he was gone.

So I have three days to finish...

and start.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

Okay, Cannoli... roll over.

Okay, I am establishing... watch me.

I am establishing dominance.

All right. Roll over!

Oh, come on, Cannoli,
you just, you do it like this.

You go roll over!

And roll over!

I don't know about Cannoli,
but you're ready for Westminster.

Dominance established.

Okay, bye. Great training session.

I know it's not his hearing
because he goes crazy

every time I say the word "walk."

It's the reason that I
can't make Chinese food.

So... what are you gonna do?

I don't know. Dr. Pete
comes home tomorrow.

Will you help me, Drew?

No, I can't, because this afternoon

I am taking Maddie to feed
the ducks at the pond.

Wow, duck pond with Dad.

You really know what teenage girls like.

It's our tradition.

It started when she was a baby.

You have never seen someone
so excited to see ducks.

And now we go back every year,
we get ice cream,

we take a photo.

Except for the time that I
was attacked by a rogue swan.

Ironically, Maddie couldn't help,

because she was too busy
playing Angry Birds.

That's actually very sweet.

My mom used to take me to the park

where she would meet her weed dealer.

There weren't any swans, but...

I did see a rat eating a pizza.

Oh, hey, girl.

- Hi.
- Hey, there she is.

You ready for the duck pond?

Oh, sorry, I forgot about that.

My friend Bella's on her way over.

But the ducks are back.

That's cool.
Do we have to be back with them?

Well, yeah, it's our tradition.

Maybe we can start a new tradition.

Like, I hang out with my friends,
and you leave us alone.

We could make that a weekly thing.

You okay?

Yeah.

I'm just gonna go for a walk.

A-Alone.

Alone.

Check this out.

Whoa, that is so much beer.

You're going to be so popular.

Gina brews it. She sells it at 7-Eleven.

Well, behind 7-Eleven.

Are you sure about this?

If I get caught, I'll blame it

on the meds I have to take
because of the divorce.

You're a genius.

How are you getting a "D" in biology?

I'm not getting a "D."
Chloe's getting a "D."

I just copied off of her.

This is awful.

It's a fancy beer.
That's how you know it's good.

Oh, hey, guys.

I didn't know that you were...

Uh...

are you drinking my beer?

We were just trying it. It's so good.

Really? Because this time I put
orange peel in the final stage, but...

Oh, no! That doesn't matter
because you're 13!

Give me those!

You're not gonna tell my dad, right?

Yes, I'm going to tell him.

I think.

I don't know!

Oh, why couldn't I have
gotten into making bread?

The yeast was right next to the hops.

Hey, those are really cute earrings.

- Where'd you get 'em?
- Oh, Bella. I invented that game.

You're trying to play
pickup with LeBron.

Come on, don't tell my dad.

- You're cool, right?
- Obviously I'm cool.

Three out of five Foo Fighters said so.

The Foo who?

Okay, Bella, you go home.

And you, young lady,
you go to your room.

Do you hear what you've turned me into?

An actual grown-up!

What's next,
I start wearing a beige bra?

It was just beer.

I don't see what's so bad,

unless they were drinking
out of a meth straw.

Maddie's only 13.

So tell her to put it in a sippy cup.

Remember what we were doing
when we were 13?

No, I don't.

And that's my point.

So you're gonna narc on her?

I never thought

I'd see the day you
sided with "the man."

I really hate to betray her trust,

especially after she lent
me these really cute boots

that I plan on keeping.

Hey.

- Hi.
- Hey, Drew.

I'll see you later.

Oh, Gabby. You're starting early.

Not as early as some.

She's not leaving because of me, is she?

Oh, no, nothing like that.

She's just uncomfortable around you.

Um...

but also because I kinda
have to tell you something.

Oh, God.

What is it? Will I be upset?

What-what do I need? A chair? A lawyer?

- My eczema cream?
- Ugh,

I hate being caught
in the middle like this.

Ooh, I definitely need my cream.
I'm flaring up.

Okay. I caught Maddie and Bella
drinking beer in the garage.

- What?!
- But I'm pretty sure

I handled it... It's not a big deal.

Not a big deal?

Madeline?

Oh, don't tell her it was me.
Pretend that there's a...

a hidden camera in the garage.

Were you drinking beer with Bella?

Wow. Thanks a lot.

There's a camera in the lawn mower.

You're 13 years old.

I only had a little bit,
and it was nasty.

It's an acquired taste.

I didn't like beer till I was 15.

Not now, Gina.
We're not pitching it to her.

Hey.

I, uh, made some dinner.

And...

Maddie didn't finish this, so...

Too soon?

Um, how'd you leave it with her?

Well, her mom and I grounded her

and took away her phone for two weeks.

Oh, I still don't know if
I should have told you.

No, no, you did the right thing.

You were the adult in the situation.

I just don't want Maddie to
go down the same path as me.

First you start sneaking beers,
and the next thing you know,

you're taking mystery pills
you found on the bathroom floor

at a Nickelback concert.

Oh, you are definitely making
me feel better. Thank you.

I'm sorry.

She's so much smarter
than me at that age.

It used to be so much easier.

I mean, any problem could
be solved with a juice box

or a Hello Kitty Band-Aid.

Now I can't even say hello
without getting an eye roll.

Is that you guys at the duck pond?

Yeah. She was four years old.

She named all the ducks.

Uh, Quackie, Quack,

Dr. Quack... he went
to medical school, I guess...

And Obama.

Oh, look at her looking at you.

That is a kid who loves her dad.

Yeah. Where'd that kid go?

She's gonna be okay.

She's got two parents who
love her and care about her.

It's just... it's hard to believe

that that kid at the duck pond

is the same one that's
drinking beer in my garage.

Ugh. Don't sweat it.

In a few years,
she'll be drinking at the duck pond.

I know that it's hard, but...

she's becoming her own person.

She's growing up.

Oh, Cannoli, oh, you can't be up here.

No...

All right.

Hey.

Dr. Pete's gonna be here in,
like, an hour.

- What's he doing with your loafer?
- Well, he gave me

his squeaky hamburger...
I had to reciprocate.

You like Cannoli.

Okay, I admit, he grows on you.

Plus, he's so warm and cuddly.

I mean, last night I didn't
even have to wear my flannels.

Okay,

I made us this photo album

of Cannoli,
so we will always remember him.

Aw, that's sweet.

It's hard to see someone
you love move on.

So, this is him dressed as
the pope for Halloween.

And here he is on a date
with the neighbor's collie.

Sorry, we didn't think she'd
mind you were neutered.

Aw.

Hey...

do you think we have time

for one last trip to the dog park?

Yeah, sure.

Ooh,
but if the neighbor's collie is there,

we're gonna ice that bitch out.

You were supposed to take a left there.

Oh, we're not going to the dog park.

Why? Where are we going?

This is a jailbreak, baby.

- What?
- Yeah.

We're not letting anybody
take this guy away.

We're dognapping him.

You're serious? We're stealing Cannoli?

Oh, yeah. It's on. He's our dog now.

But-but he's got to go back.

Why? What kind of selfish jerk
abandons his dog for six months?

The kind of selfish jerk
who helps orphans in Ghana

smile again after cleft palate surgery.

Oh, please. I bet he leads with that

at singles bars all over Africa.

Look at him.

He's attached to us.
We're his real family.

Well, so is Dr. Pete.

Oh, come on. Are you telling me
Cannoli would choose Dr. Pete

- over us?
- Of course not.

I read The Very Hungry
Caterpillar to him every nigh,

but I would change it to
The Very Hungry Cannoli.

He can't read.

We have to do what's best

for the dog,
and that is keeping him with us.

- I don't know.
- You're the person who loves him

most in the world;
he should be with you.

Oh, see? And you know that's genuine

because he's very poorly trained.

I do hate the thought of saying goodbye.

Exactly. Okay, look,
we are done playing by the rules.

- Okay.
- Here's the plan.

We disappear, we go off the grid.

We go from town to town,
we mix it up with the locals,

maybe solve some of their problems

along the way, and then we move on.

Granted, I am basing this a
lot on The Incredible Hulk.

Maybe we keep spitballing?

Sure. Yep. No bad ideas.

Uh... Got it.

We find someone to take
Cannoli for a few weeks,

and then we tell
Dr. Pete that he ran away.

We slap up some posters, and then,

when the coast is clear,
we happen to adopt a dog

that looks just like him. Yes!

Ooh, and for the poster,
I can use a picture of Cannoli

from his quincea�era.

I don't have to tell you
it was pirate-themed.

Hey, everybody, keep
your calendars clear for the 29th.

No.

Because I'm playing Abraham Lincoln

in a one-man show at the New Haven VFW.

That's a great venue.
I got married there.

Hope it works out better for you.

You're playing Abraham Lincoln?

Are you gonna free yourself at the end?

It's like Hamilton,
it's a reimagination.

You should get one.

Okay, guys, listen up.

Uh-uh. What are you doing?

You can't bring a dog in here.

A dog? Get that filthy,

slobbering thing... Oh, aren't you cute?

Are you giving out kisses?

Oh, this is kind of an emergency.

Yeah. We-we just need
someone to take Cannoli

for a f-few weeks.

Samantha, what do you think?
Can you take him?

I don't let my mother stay with me,
so what do you think?

Jerry, what about you?

Uh, sorry,
I couldn't do that to my hamsters.

Say no more.

It's just that they're
so sensitive, and I...

She said, "Say no more."

I'd love to take him, but my building

doesn't allow dogs.

You own your own house.

I said what I said.

Come on, you guys. Somebody step up.

We're gonna lose him.

Lose him? What are you talking about?

Well, Cannoli's "owner" wants him back,

and we cannot let that happen.

When you say "owner," do you mean

the person the dog belongs to?

Technically, yes, but we've been

looking after him now and we love him.

I bet his owner doesn't even
know what his favorite song is.

It's "Hotline Bling."

But he's not yours.

This is a bad idea.

Yeah, no one's gonna help you
commit some crazy dognapping.

How do you think his owner feels?

I'm sure he misses his own dog.

Oh, who cares, Jerry?

Everybody settle down!

A dialysis center

divided against itself cannot stand!

Wow. Thanks, George Washington.

Drew, I think they're right.

Just because we love him
doesn't make him ours.

You, too?

I have a dental convention next month.

You could watch my two hamsters...

No more.

I think that we're
doing the right thing,

giving Cannoli back.

I know, I know.

You can call Dr. Pete and tell him

we'll bring him back right now.

Get on up.

It's not gonna be the same

without you, big guy.

I'm gonna miss your cuddles.

And I'll never find another
dog to be the big spoon.

You're one of them.

I'll see you in hell!

Drew!

Cannoli!

Drew, pick up. Where the hell are you?

I can't keep making excuses to Dr. Pete.

Oh, by the way,
I told him that I'm at your funeral,

so if he comes by,

I don't know, play dead?

Still not answering, huh?

Nope.

Okay, that's "conquer."

28 points because the "Q"
landed on a double-letter.

Ugh, I liked Drew a lot better
when he followed the rules.

"Preconquer."

Ooh, it's a double-word score,
so, uh, 44.

Yeah, well, "preconquer" is not a word.

It's what you do before you conquer.

Like the stretches and the knee bends.

And then, boom, you're conquering.

What the hell are you talking about?

Try again.

I don't get it.
Drew's obsessed with keeping Cannoli,

but the dog was such
a pain to him before.

Yeah. Could be one of those situations

where you don't appreciate what
you had till they take it away.

Same thing happened with my car keys.

Before yesterday,
he wouldn't even say Cannoli's name.

He just referred to him as
"the dirty white Wookiee."

Maybe it's not about the dog.

Maybe it's transference.

What are you talking about?

You put your feelings about
one thing onto something else.

Like when you punch a hole in the wall.

You're not mad at the wall,

you're mad because they
took away your car keys.

Yeah, or...

when the bartender
tells me I've had enough,

and then I have sex with the bouncer.

Transference.

"Misconquer."

It's when you go to conquer one village

and you accidentally conquer
the village next door.

It's a misconquer.

Okay, you play that.

I have a wall to punch.

What? Don't look at me like that.

Maybe you shouldn't have
finished yours so quick.

Okay, here.

Enjoy.

Hey.

You found me.

You make a pretty bad fugitive.

If you're gonna go on the
lam with a giant sheepdog,

at least put a hat and glasses on him.

You okay?

The ducks haven't come back.

Well, maybe they're coming
later because of climate change.

Yeah, exactly.

Even the climate's changing.

Can't one frickin'
thing in my life stay the same?

I get it.

Kidney, the divorce, now Maddie.

It's a lot.

See that rock over there?

Maddie used to climb to the top.

She would spend hours
chasing the ducks around.

And I spent hours watching her.

Mm, that's adorable.

Two minutes ago she was this kid

in overalls who needed
me to tie her shoe,

and now she's practically
halfway out the door.

I know it's hard to
lose your little girl, but...

the good part is,
you get to see her change

into this badass young woman
that you helped create.

I want to slow it down.

That's the thing. You can't.

You have to embrace
the moments that you have,

not the ones that are gone.

I'm sorry I dognapped Cannoli.
That was crazy.

No, it was transference.

You know what transference is?

I know some stuff.

Tell Dr. Pete that we'll
bring him home tonight.

By the way, how'd you know I'd be here?

I didn't.

So, are we doing
this stupid picture, or what?

You sure?

I mean, we do it every year, don't we?

There are no ducks.

I didn't come for the ducks.

Plus, Mom said if I took the picture,

she'd give me my phone back.

Hey, boy. It's me, Drew.
You remember me?

Where's Gideon?

Oh, he just stepped out.
He said he could be reached

- at his Gettysburg address.
- Ugh.

Any more of that and I'm gonna
John Wilkes Booth myself.

Oh, hey, boy. Can you hear me?

Oh, over here.

- Oh...
- What are you doing?

Well, uh, Dr. Pete

is letting me FaceTime with Cannoli.

FaceTiming with a dog?

That is the dumbest thing I've ever...

Oh, he's so fluffy.

Where's my fluffy wufferton?

Oh, my God. Who are you?

Hey, I'm-I'm Pete Chakos.
I'm Cannoli's dad.

He just walked off.

Ah, yes, yes, Dr. Pete,
the cleft palate surgeon.

I'm-I'm Samantha Turner,
a friend of Drew's.

I didn't know Drew had
such attractive friends.

I was just thinking the same thing.

Uh, excuse me, that's my property.

Up-bup-bup. So... a doctor.

Do you have a-a practice in the city?

No, I travel around the world
helping children in need.

Oh, that's so wonderful.

Do you work for one of those big,
worldwide organizations?

No, I'm on my own.

One-man band.

Oh.

Well, you must be pretty well-off

to be flying all over the world.

Actually it's a lot of
scrimping and saving

and relying on the goodwill of others.

Okay, I tried.

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com