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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[turn signal]
4
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:35,383
- Mm, crispy.
5
00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:36,775
- When are you gonna leave us
6
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:39,735
and get a real job?
7
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,184
[cartoons on TV]
8
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,752
- This is the third
time this week.
9
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:59,276
Goodnight Mary.
10
00:01:00,756 --> 00:01:03,933
- Goodnight.
11
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:15,771
[sighs]
12
00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:31,439
[doorbell rings]
13
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:34,790
- Mary?
14
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:35,747
- Hi.
15
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,488
- What are you doing here?
16
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:39,795
- I'm dropping off the kids.
17
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:43,668
- Oh my god, are
these your kids?
18
00:01:45,627 --> 00:01:49,196
- They're not my
kids, I'm their nanny.
19
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:51,589
- Oh, cute.
20
00:01:51,633 --> 00:01:54,549
God what a small world, ah!
21
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:56,812
Oh this isn't my house,
this is my sister's,
22
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:59,728
I'm just here visiting
my niece and nephew.
23
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,773
Practicing.
24
00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:05,081
Can you believe it, got married!
25
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,040
Last year in Hawaii, ah!
26
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:10,173
I was like one of
the last ones left,
27
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:12,828
I felt like such a spinster.
28
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,308
Are you married?
29
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:15,526
- No.
30
00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,137
- My mom, she told
me what happened
31
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,139
to your grandmother,
32
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:20,314
so sad.
33
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:22,142
- Thanks.
34
00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:23,752
What time should I pick them up?
35
00:02:23,795 --> 00:02:25,710
- Oh god, I am the
wrong person to ask,
36
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:28,887
cause I am off to the spa,
but Josephine will be here,
37
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:31,151
she's watching the kids,
so I'm sure she doesn't...
38
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:34,066
You know what, let
me walk you out.
39
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,939
You look great.
40
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:43,119
- Oh yeah.
41
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,643
Huh?
42
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:52,563
No, okay.
43
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:53,956
Have you ever seen
a white rabbit
44
00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:56,524
jump out of a top hat?
45
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,003
[snoring]
46
00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:00,963
[laughing]
47
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,227
Uh, but it seems
like you guys are
48
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:07,317
a little more advanced
crowd, which is fine,
49
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,798
totally cool with
that, so looks like
50
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:12,453
Christmas is gonna come
a little early this year.
51
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,150
- What does that even mean?
52
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,673
[shushes]
53
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:18,285
- Can you make Darth Vader
appear out of your top hat?
54
00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,374
- No, we want Anakin.
55
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,724
- [All] Anakin, Anakin--
56
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,595
- Okay, okay, chill
out, chill out.
57
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:29,078
- [All] Anakin, Anakin, Anakin!
58
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,736
[coughs]
59
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,434
- I'm better with the
younger demographic,
60
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:38,696
my boss, he knows this.
61
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:42,874
He told me this was a
four year old's party.
62
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:45,834
I don't think he
had anyone else.
63
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,446
You friends with the family?
64
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:50,621
- I work here.
65
00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:53,276
- What like a nanny?
66
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,277
How long?
67
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:56,845
- Too long.
68
00:03:58,150 --> 00:03:59,587
- You want some?
69
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,980
- No.
70
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:06,333
- To work with that kid,
you're crazy not to.
71
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:15,690
All right, stick in
the mud Mary Poppins.
72
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:20,695
[children screaming]
73
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:22,610
Second thoughts?
74
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:25,003
I won't tell.
75
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,014
[coughs]
76
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:39,322
[laughs]
77
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:43,370
- Can you really pull
a rabbit out of a hat?
78
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,197
- It's a stuffed animal,
three and four year olds
79
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:46,677
don't know the difference.
80
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:51,465
[children screaming]
81
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:56,600
- [Mary] How long have
you been doing this?
82
00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:58,733
- What, making a
fool out of myself?
83
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:01,388
Too long.
84
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,694
How long have you
hated your life?
85
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:06,523
- Uh...
86
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:11,223
Who says I hate it?
87
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:15,184
- [Clown] Look at you.
88
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,795
- Look at you.
89
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,757
- [Clown] Wow, all right.
90
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,411
- You look ridiculous.
91
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:27,414
- [Clown] Yeah,
well you look angry.
92
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:30,025
I'd rather look
ridiculous than angry.
93
00:05:30,068 --> 00:05:32,593
All right, smoke the rest
of my weed, you're welcome.
94
00:05:32,636 --> 00:05:34,725
- Thank you.
95
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:37,859
I should go.
96
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:41,036
There any more?
97
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:45,301
- Hey, uh, Mary, the kids are...
98
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:49,653
What the hell are you doing?
99
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:52,134
- [Mary] It was his.
100
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:55,659
- [Clown] Sorry man.
101
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:58,749
- [Dad] All right, just try
staying away from the kids.
102
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:01,404
- Shit.
103
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:02,013
I'm sorry.
104
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:04,364
- Thanks.
105
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,148
- You consistently arrive
late to pick the kids up
106
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,542
at school, you never pick
up the dog poop in the yard
107
00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:11,893
like I ask you to, Matty uses
one of your birth control
108
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:14,591
sleeves as a fake wallet,
and teachers are complaining.
109
00:06:14,635 --> 00:06:17,202
Most nights, I come home and
you're passed out on the couch
110
00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:21,206
while Ryan's watching
TV, on a school night!
111
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,121
I need you moved out by this
evening, I'll tell the kids
112
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,862
it was an emergency.
113
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,386
- Where am I supposed to go?
114
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:28,431
- I can't have a druggie
taking care of my children.
115
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,998
- I'm not a druggie.
116
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:33,262
- You got high with the
birthday party clown
117
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:35,873
at the birthday party.
118
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:46,275
- Hey, listen, I know
it's probably not your
119
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,973
first choice, but I am
house sitting for the month
120
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:51,715
if you need a place to stay
121
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,761
you can crash with
me for a night.
122
00:06:53,804 --> 00:06:56,590
You know, it's the
least I can do.
123
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:58,809
I mean I get it, I
know you're upset.
124
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:02,465
I can't help but feel
somewhat responsible for that.
125
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:05,903
But, please just
take this and then,
126
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,862
you know, if you need a place
to stay, I'm sure you got
127
00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:09,603
other places to go, but,
128
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,736
please just take this,
it'd make me feel
129
00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:15,173
a lot better.
130
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:23,399
- [Voiceover] You've reached
Christopher, obviously
131
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,923
I'm not available,
leave a message.
132
00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:28,839
[phone beeps]
133
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,976
[doorbell rings]
134
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,243
- Hi.
135
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:43,245
- Hi.
136
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:45,682
- I'm sorry, I must
be in the wrong place.
137
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:48,555
- Honey, who is it?
138
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,732
Mary.
139
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:54,125
- Hi.
140
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,910
- What are you doing here?
141
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:59,000
- I'm sorry, I tried calling.
142
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:01,916
- Uh...
143
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,874
Yeah, well we've
been kinda busy.
144
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:07,182
- Well, I guess I'd try calling.
145
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,576
Something's come up, and I
just need a place to stay,
146
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:12,622
just for the night.
147
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,885
- Mary, it's been two years.
148
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,148
I'd love to but,
149
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:19,586
now is not the time.
150
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,763
- Okay.
151
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:26,941
- Hi.
152
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:29,421
- Hi.
153
00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:31,772
- Well...
154
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:36,124
- You gonna let me in?
155
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,651
- This is uh...
156
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,435
My friend Adam's place,
he's away on location
157
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:47,439
shooting his show, so you
know, respect his space.
158
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:49,659
- Does he like candy
as much as you do?
159
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:52,140
- No.
160
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,709
All right.
161
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,319
Why don't you sleep
upstairs and I'll crash here
162
00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:59,277
on the couch, okay?
163
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,758
Let me grab you a towel.
164
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:07,721
[somber piano]
165
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,974
Morning.
166
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,889
- Hi.
167
00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:47,587
What are these?
168
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:50,372
- They're fliers Adam wants
me to put up around the comedy
169
00:09:50,415 --> 00:09:54,158
community, all the comedy clubs.
170
00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,421
- [Mary] Why?
171
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:59,120
- It's for a comedy
standoff he's doing.
172
00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,295
At least that's
what he calls it,
173
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:01,644
basically he's
looking for new talent
174
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,385
for his show.
175
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,996
- Is he related to
Steven Spielberg?
176
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,912
- No.
177
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,479
He changed his name
when he moved down here,
178
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,655
he thought it would
open some doors for him.
179
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:15,049
- [Mary] Did it?
180
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,530
- It did.
181
00:10:18,879 --> 00:10:20,620
- [Mary] Are you gonna enter?
182
00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:22,883
- No, it's not for me.
183
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:24,101
- You should.
184
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:26,538
Get you the money
you now owe me.
185
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,366
- Yeah, well I used to
like making people laugh
186
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,368
but that was a long time ago.
187
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:33,850
If that hasn't happened by
now, it's not gonna happen.
188
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:36,853
- If it hasn't happened by now,
you have to make it happen.
189
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:40,161
- Thank you Tony Robbins.
190
00:10:43,077 --> 00:10:45,688
How much was last week's pay?
191
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:48,038
- 2,000.
192
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:49,692
- You make two grand a week?
193
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,913
- No, but that's
what I'm charging you
194
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:55,524
for the massive inconvenience
and time it's gonna take
195
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:57,178
to get a new job.
196
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,658
- Okay, I can't afford that.
197
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:01,704
- Well, you should
find a way you can.
198
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:05,882
- Look, if I had
it, I would, okay?
199
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,015
I told you.
200
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:09,625
I feel bad.
201
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:14,282
You're jobless, and I get
it it's partially my fault.
202
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:17,720
I have this place three more
weeks, stay if you want.
203
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,288
- Don't worry, I have
plenty of friends
204
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:24,031
who've offered me other options.
205
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:27,164
- [Clown] Good.
206
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:38,654
- Listen...
207
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,351
I know what you did.
208
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,614
Okay, and I'm
willing to help you.
209
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:45,008
But before I can even
begin this process,
210
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,619
you must present proof that
you're attending therapy.
211
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:48,969
- Excuse me?
212
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,884
- We must be certain that
we are sending our clients
213
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:53,016
emotionally stable candidates.
214
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,670
- You're not s--
215
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,759
- You gotta get your
behavioral issues in check.
216
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:59,936
- Smoking pot isn't
a behavioral issue.
217
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:07,770
[cell phone ringing]
218
00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:16,344
[phone dings]
219
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:25,570
- [Voiceover] Hi, this
message is for Homer Winters,
220
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,748
this is the St. John's billing
department, please call us
221
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:31,576
back as soon as you have
received this message.
222
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,231
[phone beeps]
223
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:42,457
- I hope you don't
mind, the door was open.
224
00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:46,766
I just need to stay
here one more night.
225
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:49,986
- It's fine.
226
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:07,699
- [Voiceover] So
how did you find me?
227
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:08,918
- Craigslist.
228
00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:10,746
I'm here to use the
first visit's free,
229
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,792
if you're still doing
that, which I hope you are,
230
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,533
because that's why I picked you.
231
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,580
- Yeah, so, what
brought you in today?
232
00:13:18,623 --> 00:13:20,887
- The nanny agency
won't send me out on
233
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:23,672
any meetings and
interviews unless I
234
00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:26,675
seek help for my
behavioral issues.
235
00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:28,677
- And what might those be?
236
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,679
- Well, I smoked pot
237
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,202
at a 10 year old's
birthday party with
238
00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:35,553
a clown magician,
he made me do it.
239
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:38,426
And now I'm living with
him while he house sits
240
00:13:38,469 --> 00:13:40,080
for his friend,
241
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:43,997
and he's a total slob.
242
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:45,737
- So that's why you're here,
243
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,174
to rectify your
behavioral problems to
244
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:50,742
land another nanny job?
245
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:57,314
Why do you want to be a nanny?
246
00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:59,969
- Actually I don't.
247
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:02,754
I can't nanny anymore.
248
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,890
I've done it for 10 years,
and I look at those kids
249
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:10,893
and I feel nothing.
250
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:14,679
- Okay.
251
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:22,905
[cell phone rings]
252
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,179
- Hello?
253
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,964
- [Voiceover] Who is this?
- Who is this?
254
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:39,313
- [Voiceover] This
is Homer's boss,
255
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:40,749
former boss actually.
256
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:41,924
I would like to speak with him.
257
00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:43,926
- He's busy at the
moment, what do you want?
258
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,623
- [Voiceover] You can tell
your boyfriend that he owes me
259
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,712
$200 for his performance
last weekend,
260
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,063
he also owes me 500 on
top of that for grievances
261
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:54,241
and embarrassment, and you
can tell him he's fired.
262
00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:55,590
[knocking]
263
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:56,678
- What are you doing in there?
264
00:14:56,721 --> 00:14:57,722
- [Homer] You don't wanna know.
265
00:14:57,766 --> 00:14:58,941
- I have to talk to you.
266
00:14:58,985 --> 00:14:59,986
- [Homer] Well can it wait?
267
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:01,944
- Nope.
268
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:06,775
[toilet flushes]
269
00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:08,168
- What is it?
270
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:09,256
- Your boss called.
271
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:10,474
- Well what did he say?
272
00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:13,956
- You owe him $700,
and you're fired.
273
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,002
And we're both homeless
in three weeks, so can you
274
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:18,047
please finish pooping,
and then we can figure out
275
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:20,006
a way how to make quick cash?
276
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:22,617
Is that a yes?
277
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,577
That was fast.
278
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:27,578
- Yeah, well I thought you
said you had other places
279
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:29,102
to live.
280
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:32,322
- I do, I'd just like the money
you owe me before I leave.
281
00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:37,197
[chewing]
282
00:15:39,199 --> 00:15:41,810
- Garage sale.
283
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,601
- This is going well.
284
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:53,387
- You have to give it time.
285
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:58,218
- What's with the baseball bat?
286
00:15:58,261 --> 00:16:01,221
- It was my dad's, he gave
it to me when I was a kid.
287
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:03,745
- He won't be upset
you're selling it?
288
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:06,269
- Unlikely.
289
00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:18,586
- Does he live here?
290
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,805
- St. John's.
291
00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,068
- That must be nice.
292
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:24,331
- Not that St.
John's, he's sick.
293
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,072
- When's the last
time you saw him?
294
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:27,987
- Six months.
295
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,945
- You should visit him.
296
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,774
- You should mind
your own business.
297
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,256
- Can't avoid him forever.
298
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:39,259
- Who said I was avoiding him?
299
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:45,004
[whistles]
300
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:46,396
These are great.
301
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,920
- They're mostly my mom's.
302
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,184
Mine are at the back.
303
00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:52,707
- Yeah, why would
you sell these?
304
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:55,840
- Cause I need the money.
305
00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:02,325
And because she's dead, so
I don't think she'll care.
306
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:12,292
- [Man] How much
for the drawings?
307
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:15,251
- $50.
308
00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:17,514
[laughs]
309
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,777
- I'll give you eight.
310
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:31,702
Take a little monkey for
my granddaughter too.
311
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:35,750
- [Voiceover] I was on the
internet the other night,
312
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:39,275
and, that's how, you ever
been on the internet?
313
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,885
Like late at night--
314
00:17:40,929 --> 00:17:44,715
- Hey man, big comedy
competition, huge prize.
315
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,065
- Cause I wasn't
even looking at porn,
316
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:47,849
that's how you know
it's over for you.
317
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:50,330
When you're not even
looking at porn anymore,
318
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:51,679
porn bores you.
319
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:52,810
You're just in this
place where you're like,
320
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:54,073
"Well I guess there's
nothing left to do
321
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:56,162
"but look up clips of
break dancers and watch
322
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:58,120
"billiard trick shot videos."
323
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,643
[laughing]
324
00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,950
Cause knowing that the
chicks have personality...
325
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,435
- Hi, is my dad available,
I'd like to say hi.
326
00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:11,481
Thanks.
327
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:15,442
Okay, and you told
him it was me?
328
00:18:15,746 --> 00:18:17,574
No, never mind,
that's fine, thanks.
329
00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:20,708
You know, actually, tell him
if he keeps refusing my call
330
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:24,146
I'm gonna stop calling
one of these days.
331
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:27,236
No, don't say that.
332
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,978
It's fine, thanks.
333
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:42,730
[door slams shut]
334
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:50,868
- I'm so sorry about
that, won't you come in?
335
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,700
[door slams shut]
336
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:57,571
We've been having a
little bit of trouble
337
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,573
finding a good fit for our Em.
338
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:00,487
- [Mary] Why is that?
339
00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:01,966
- It's a difficult age.
340
00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,621
You probably remember
what it was like.
341
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:06,667
Tell me about your last job.
342
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,016
- The kids were great.
343
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:11,280
I loved them, and they loved me.
344
00:19:11,324 --> 00:19:12,890
But they're in Europe now.
345
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:15,850
- Mr. Frick and I do
like our alone time,
346
00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:17,939
so there would be plenty
of opportunity for the
347
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:20,289
nanny to take Emma to
our Palm Springs home.
348
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:23,727
Sort of a girls' weekend,
does that sound like fun?
349
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,817
- Really fun.
350
00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:30,473
- Are you interested in being
considered for this position?
351
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,214
Assuming that your previous
employer can provide
352
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:34,608
a good reference.
353
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:39,003
[chatter on television]
354
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,542
- Betty Sue, honestly,
can I tell you something,
355
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:57,935
you are, if I can be
honest, you are getting me
356
00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:00,547
awfully hot and
bothered Betty Sue.
357
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:02,288
- Oh really?
- Yeah really.
358
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:04,246
- Well then why
don't you cool off?
359
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:08,207
[laughing]
360
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:11,079
- You may have won this one,
361
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,863
but the war is not
over my friend.
362
00:20:12,907 --> 00:20:14,387
- The war will never
be over as long as
363
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,692
you're alive.
364
00:20:15,736 --> 00:20:17,433
[laughing]
365
00:20:17,477 --> 00:20:19,261
- [Man on TV] I don't like
the way you do that, mm hmm.
366
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:20,480
- [Betty Sue] Mm hmm.
367
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,438
- [Man on TV] Yeah,
you want to throw down?
368
00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:25,702
[laughing]
369
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:27,095
- [TV] And then I
says to her, I says,
370
00:20:27,138 --> 00:20:28,531
"Honey it's all right,
we're gonna work this"--
371
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,316
- Is this for real?
372
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,101
This is your friend's show?
373
00:20:33,754 --> 00:20:36,844
- It has its moments.
374
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:38,193
- What moments?
375
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,760
This is awful.
376
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:42,676
- Well his first
show was better.
377
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,766
- What is that?
378
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:49,248
- It's a Snickers
sorbet milkshake.
379
00:20:49,639 --> 00:20:52,816
I added the sorbet
to be healthier.
380
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,298
- I truly don't understand you.
381
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,575
That's a really
great color for you.
382
00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:15,361
- What do you want?
383
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:20,583
- I need you to come to
therapy with me tomorrow.
384
00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:23,194
- You're serious, like,
I'm letting you stay here,
385
00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:25,458
you really want me to go to
therapy with you tomorrow,
386
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:26,807
are you crazy?
387
00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:28,330
- It's the only way they'll
keep sending me out on
388
00:21:28,374 --> 00:21:29,766
job interviews.
389
00:21:29,810 --> 00:21:31,681
- If I go to therapy with you?
390
00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:33,596
- No, but I've already
used my first visit's
391
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,425
free and now we can use yours.
392
00:21:36,469 --> 00:21:39,994
The sooner I get a job,
the sooner I'm gone.
393
00:21:42,997 --> 00:21:46,392
- Admit you have
nowhere else to go.
394
00:21:57,751 --> 00:21:59,013
- You had to wear the shorts.
395
00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:02,843
- When I wear jeans
my butt gets sweaty.
396
00:22:03,626 --> 00:22:05,062
- Where is he?
397
00:22:05,106 --> 00:22:08,370
He was almost a half hour
late the last time I was here,
398
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:10,590
he was in the bathroom.
399
00:22:10,633 --> 00:22:13,680
- Please stop talking.
400
00:22:13,723 --> 00:22:16,378
- [Therapist] Mary, it's
good to see you again.
401
00:22:16,422 --> 00:22:17,814
- Oh, you're wearing glasses.
402
00:22:17,858 --> 00:22:18,554
- [Therapist] I am.
403
00:22:18,598 --> 00:22:19,381
- I like them.
404
00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:20,295
- Thank you.
405
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,645
This must be the clown magician?
406
00:22:22,689 --> 00:22:24,473
- Yes, this is Homer.
407
00:22:24,517 --> 00:22:26,562
The clown magician.
408
00:22:26,606 --> 00:22:30,131
And we are actually here
together as a couple,
409
00:22:30,174 --> 00:22:33,308
so your first time is free,
that would apply for him
410
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,616
too right, cause
he's a new client?
411
00:22:36,659 --> 00:22:40,184
- Yeah, sure, I
don't see why not.
412
00:22:40,228 --> 00:22:41,838
- Excellent honey.
413
00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:43,971
- Good, I thought
we'd have to pay.
414
00:22:44,014 --> 00:22:45,668
- What brought you in today?
415
00:22:45,712 --> 00:22:47,540
- He's shy.
416
00:22:47,583 --> 00:22:51,108
He's shy, so I was thinking
we could start with something
417
00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:54,155
with us and my stuff, and
then he could see how it works
418
00:22:54,198 --> 00:22:55,635
so I was...
419
00:22:55,678 --> 00:22:58,638
I had a plan, I was
actually hoping we could--
420
00:22:58,681 --> 00:23:01,641
- Actually, I'd like to get
to know Homer a little better.
421
00:23:01,684 --> 00:23:04,992
- It's okay, really,
she seems determined.
422
00:23:05,035 --> 00:23:06,559
- [Therapist] And how
does that make you feel?
423
00:23:06,602 --> 00:23:07,690
- Her being determined?
424
00:23:07,734 --> 00:23:09,126
- [Therapist] Mm hmm.
425
00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:10,737
- I don't think-- -
[Therapist] Does it excite you?
426
00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:12,260
Does it inspire you?
427
00:23:12,303 --> 00:23:16,395
Are you a determined
person Homer?
428
00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:19,963
- I don't know, I've
never really seen myself
429
00:23:20,007 --> 00:23:21,443
as determined.
430
00:23:21,487 --> 00:23:22,531
- [Therapist]
What's stopping you?
431
00:23:22,575 --> 00:23:23,793
- What's not?
432
00:23:23,837 --> 00:23:25,447
- [Therapy] Mary,
can we give Homer
433
00:23:25,491 --> 00:23:29,582
some space to
answer the question?
434
00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:31,975
What do you think it
would take for you to
435
00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:34,587
get off the couch, so to speak,
436
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:37,807
and live in this determined
life that's full of drive
437
00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:39,374
and passion.
438
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,768
- It seems like that would
take a lot, and I don't even
439
00:23:41,811 --> 00:23:43,770
know where to start.
440
00:23:43,813 --> 00:23:46,468
- He is correct there.
441
00:23:46,512 --> 00:23:50,167
Take a lot, but you know
what wouldn't take a lot?
442
00:23:50,211 --> 00:23:52,779
Figuring out how I'm
gonna get my next job
443
00:23:52,822 --> 00:23:56,913
so that we can actually
continue our relationship
444
00:23:56,957 --> 00:24:01,657
but from different
places to live.
445
00:24:01,701 --> 00:24:03,920
- You came here for
couple's therapy,
446
00:24:03,964 --> 00:24:07,881
and your goal is to
live in separate homes?
447
00:24:07,924 --> 00:24:09,926
Away from each other?
448
00:24:09,970 --> 00:24:11,362
- [Mary] I wouldn't
use that word.
449
00:24:11,406 --> 00:24:13,800
- [Homer] Yes.
- What word?
450
00:24:13,843 --> 00:24:16,150
Relationships or home?
451
00:24:16,193 --> 00:24:18,108
I'm confused.
452
00:24:18,152 --> 00:24:21,155
You said you were a couple.
453
00:24:21,198 --> 00:24:23,505
- [Homer] I actually feel
a little better, thank you.
454
00:24:23,549 --> 00:24:27,248
- [Mary] I'm so glad, he
seemed to really like you.
455
00:24:27,291 --> 00:24:29,163
At least someone got help today.
456
00:24:29,206 --> 00:24:31,208
- [Homer] I know, I think he
gave some really great advice.
457
00:24:31,252 --> 00:24:32,862
- [Mary] What like
get off your ass?
458
00:24:32,906 --> 00:24:34,124
- [Voiceover] Why do you
want to be an architect?
459
00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:35,604
- My mom was an architect.
460
00:24:35,648 --> 00:24:40,304
Well, she went to school
to become an architect.
461
00:24:40,348 --> 00:24:44,787
And when I was little I
used to love losing myself
462
00:24:44,831 --> 00:24:46,136
in her designs.
463
00:24:46,180 --> 00:24:47,573
- Does she work
here in the city?
464
00:24:47,616 --> 00:24:49,966
What firm is she with?
465
00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:51,577
- She works overseas.
466
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:53,100
- Oh.
467
00:24:53,143 --> 00:24:55,972
- I used to collect all
her old models, and I would
468
00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:58,845
add to them through the years.
469
00:24:59,585 --> 00:25:01,717
When nothing seemed
to be going right,
470
00:25:01,761 --> 00:25:06,635
I would focus on creating
this hypothetical beauty.
471
00:25:07,114 --> 00:25:09,159
I loved it.
472
00:25:09,203 --> 00:25:11,727
[chuckles] It was
our shared passion.
473
00:25:11,771 --> 00:25:13,120
- Sounds like it still is.
474
00:25:13,163 --> 00:25:15,644
- I want a chance to bring
beauty like that to life.
475
00:25:15,688 --> 00:25:17,341
- Do you have some of
your work with you?
476
00:25:17,385 --> 00:25:19,213
- It burned.
477
00:25:19,256 --> 00:25:21,911
In a fire.
478
00:25:21,955 --> 00:25:25,436
- Can't seem to
find your resume.
479
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,700
Where'd you graduate from?
480
00:25:27,743 --> 00:25:29,919
- I didn't graduate.
481
00:25:30,572 --> 00:25:34,794
I had to leave after
the first semester.
482
00:25:48,242 --> 00:25:50,636
- Are you okay?
483
00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:52,725
- I'm fine.
484
00:25:52,768 --> 00:25:53,813
- You don't look fine.
485
00:25:53,856 --> 00:25:57,512
- I'm just having a hard time.
486
00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:59,645
I applied for a small
internship at this
487
00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:02,735
architecture firm, and
they turned me away
488
00:26:02,778 --> 00:26:04,519
because I didn't have a degree.
489
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,347
- Is that what you want
to be, an architect?
490
00:26:06,390 --> 00:26:09,785
- That's what I
went to school for.
491
00:26:11,744 --> 00:26:14,660
But then my
grandmother got sick.
492
00:26:15,356 --> 00:26:18,533
And I had to leave after
the first semester.
493
00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:22,145
That's all I ever wanted to do.
494
00:26:22,189 --> 00:26:25,018
But at this point
it's kind of a joke.
495
00:26:25,061 --> 00:26:26,149
- Why?
496
00:26:26,193 --> 00:26:27,629
- Because it's
never gonna happen.
497
00:26:27,673 --> 00:26:31,633
- I thought you had
to make it happen.
498
00:26:31,677 --> 00:26:33,635
Why don't you go back to school?
499
00:26:33,679 --> 00:26:36,595
- With what money?
500
00:26:45,473 --> 00:26:49,042
[dishes clanging]
501
00:26:49,085 --> 00:26:52,611
[water running]
502
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:36,350
What happened to
your Captain Crunch?
503
00:27:36,393 --> 00:27:38,831
- I'm moving on.
504
00:27:40,484 --> 00:27:42,748
- How'd you get my sketchbook?
505
00:27:42,791 --> 00:27:45,664
- I bought it back from the guy.
506
00:27:45,707 --> 00:27:47,056
I could tell it
meant a lot to you.
507
00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:49,668
- Thanks.
508
00:27:52,627 --> 00:27:55,412
- Um...
509
00:27:55,456 --> 00:27:57,414
I'm gonna enter the
comedy competition,
510
00:27:57,458 --> 00:28:00,243
and if I win, I'm gonna split
the money with you, but,
511
00:28:00,287 --> 00:28:01,897
you need to promise you're
gonna use that money to go
512
00:28:01,941 --> 00:28:02,898
back to school.
513
00:28:02,942 --> 00:28:04,595
- You said it's not for you.
514
00:28:04,639 --> 00:28:06,685
- Changed my mind.
515
00:28:06,728 --> 00:28:09,122
- You're not even
funny, are you?
516
00:28:09,165 --> 00:28:11,733
My nanny kids didn't
seem to think so.
517
00:28:11,777 --> 00:28:13,735
- Well I mean, that's a
different situation, those kids
518
00:28:13,779 --> 00:28:14,954
obviously have issues.
519
00:28:14,997 --> 00:28:16,782
- Have you ever
done this before?
520
00:28:16,825 --> 00:28:18,871
- Help me, and I'll
split the money with you.
521
00:28:18,914 --> 00:28:20,002
- If you win.
522
00:28:20,046 --> 00:28:22,657
- Do we have a deal?
523
00:28:25,660 --> 00:28:27,793
- Fine.
524
00:28:27,836 --> 00:28:30,404
- Shake on it.
525
00:28:33,842 --> 00:28:36,715
You have to promise I won't
make a fool out of myself.
526
00:28:36,758 --> 00:28:39,979
- Actually I think
that's all comedy is.
527
00:28:40,022 --> 00:28:41,589
Just do that.
528
00:28:41,632 --> 00:28:45,288
- [laughs] Maybe you should
get on stage, that's funny.
529
00:28:45,636 --> 00:28:46,899
- [Mary] Right.
530
00:28:46,942 --> 00:28:48,465
- [Comedian] So anyway,
I'm talking to this guy,
531
00:28:48,509 --> 00:28:51,077
and like, you can't even
do your job, you can't
532
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:52,165
even do your freaking job.
533
00:28:52,208 --> 00:28:54,776
Do your job--
- Why am I doing this?
534
00:28:54,820 --> 00:28:55,821
- You have to practice.
535
00:28:55,864 --> 00:28:57,605
- I don't have any
good material yet.
536
00:28:57,648 --> 00:29:00,086
- Just make something up.
537
00:29:00,129 --> 00:29:02,218
Oh, you're up.
538
00:29:02,262 --> 00:29:04,177
Okay, you can do this,
just say something
539
00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:06,657
this was your idea, practice.
540
00:29:06,701 --> 00:29:08,747
Go!
541
00:29:09,791 --> 00:29:12,794
[sparse laughs]
542
00:29:20,715 --> 00:29:23,500
- Hey everybody!
543
00:29:23,544 --> 00:29:26,808
Um...
544
00:29:26,852 --> 00:29:28,418
- Hey you know people
they have these
545
00:29:28,462 --> 00:29:31,030
stupid sayings, like,
546
00:29:31,073 --> 00:29:34,120
"We're gonna party till
the cows come home!"
547
00:29:34,163 --> 00:29:36,165
Really?
548
00:29:36,209 --> 00:29:40,126
You got cows living
at your house?
549
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:44,608
Where do they sleep?
550
00:29:45,174 --> 00:29:46,872
- Okay, um...
551
00:29:46,915 --> 00:29:48,221
Da, da, da, da, da.
552
00:29:48,264 --> 00:29:49,788
- I was hoping that I
would be the only one
553
00:29:49,831 --> 00:29:51,398
wearing a blue shirt, but
uh, fella in the back's
554
00:29:51,441 --> 00:29:53,356
also wearing a blue
shirt, so I guess this
555
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,749
class has the blues.
556
00:29:54,793 --> 00:29:57,534
- Thank you, thank you.
557
00:29:57,578 --> 00:29:58,797
Goodnight.
558
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:00,624
- Don't take ecstasy
before you go to church.
559
00:30:00,668 --> 00:30:02,975
- I like to fart on airplanes.
560
00:30:03,018 --> 00:30:06,674
- I just celebrated
my anniversary
561
00:30:06,717 --> 00:30:09,242
of not having a boyfriend.
562
00:30:09,285 --> 00:30:11,810
That's right, I'm
single, guys calm down.
563
00:30:11,853 --> 00:30:13,333
[sparse claps]
564
00:30:13,376 --> 00:30:15,596
All right, I'll take
numbers after the show.
565
00:30:15,639 --> 00:30:17,728
It's pretty awesome
though being single,
566
00:30:17,772 --> 00:30:19,992
there are advantages,
like I don't have to
567
00:30:20,035 --> 00:30:23,430
take the Domino's Pizza
sign off my car after work.
568
00:30:23,473 --> 00:30:25,780
When I wake up in the
morning, and the bed's wet,
569
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:27,260
I know it's me.
570
00:30:27,303 --> 00:30:32,134
I can help my friend's
husbands, and their kids,
571
00:30:32,395 --> 00:30:37,400
as long as they are 12 and
over, 11 is just creepy.
572
00:30:38,053 --> 00:30:41,187
I went out with a 10 year old,
he didn't pay for anything.
573
00:30:41,230 --> 00:30:44,451
[laughing]
574
00:30:44,494 --> 00:30:47,454
- So I mean then
the joke's like...
575
00:30:47,497 --> 00:30:49,499
I don't know it's kind of
based around how the Koreans
576
00:30:49,543 --> 00:30:51,806
run all the nail salons.
577
00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,808
- [Adam] Honey, I'm home!
578
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:55,201
- Wow, man, I thought
you were coming home
579
00:30:55,244 --> 00:30:57,594
later tonight.
580
00:30:57,638 --> 00:31:00,989
- Well, I was able to
catch an earlier flight,
581
00:31:01,033 --> 00:31:03,035
actually.
582
00:31:03,078 --> 00:31:04,775
Who's this?
583
00:31:04,819 --> 00:31:07,691
- This is Mary.
584
00:31:07,735 --> 00:31:08,649
- Hi.
585
00:31:08,692 --> 00:31:10,259
- Hi Mary.
586
00:31:10,303 --> 00:31:12,653
Little Mary's making herself
quite at home here, huh?
587
00:31:12,696 --> 00:31:15,482
The cereal, and the feet
up on the coffee table?
588
00:31:15,525 --> 00:31:17,353
- Yeah.
589
00:31:17,397 --> 00:31:20,661
Uh, she's actually
my life coach.
590
00:31:20,704 --> 00:31:23,664
- You brought a life coach
to come and live with you?
591
00:31:23,707 --> 00:31:26,232
- Yeah, I mean it was
just temporary man.
592
00:31:26,275 --> 00:31:27,668
I was gonna call you.
593
00:31:27,711 --> 00:31:29,322
- Yeah, you should of, but uh...
594
00:31:29,365 --> 00:31:31,585
- [Homer] I meant to call
you about that earlier.
595
00:31:31,628 --> 00:31:33,152
- Earlier?
596
00:31:33,195 --> 00:31:35,632
How long have you
had a life coach for?
597
00:31:35,676 --> 00:31:36,938
- Not long.
598
00:31:36,982 --> 00:31:39,462
- Okay, well look as long as
599
00:31:39,506 --> 00:31:41,943
there haven't been
any life coach fluids
600
00:31:41,987 --> 00:31:44,337
exchanged between
you two crazy kids
601
00:31:44,380 --> 00:31:47,731
all over my furniture,
then I'm fine with that,
602
00:31:47,775 --> 00:31:48,776
that's cool.
603
00:31:48,819 --> 00:31:50,212
Nice to meet you.
604
00:31:50,256 --> 00:31:52,301
- [Homer] Yeah, no, she's uh...
605
00:31:52,345 --> 00:31:54,695
She's not like that at all.
606
00:31:54,738 --> 00:31:57,263
Um, yeah no she's
a professional.
607
00:31:57,306 --> 00:31:59,395
- Yeah, hey well
look man honestly,
608
00:31:59,439 --> 00:32:00,701
he likes you,
609
00:32:00,744 --> 00:32:02,616
I'm just really happy to
hear that you're taking
610
00:32:02,659 --> 00:32:05,227
proactive steps to kind
of get your life in order,
611
00:32:05,271 --> 00:32:07,316
because you were really
starting to become a strain
612
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:08,709
on everybody around you.
613
00:32:08,752 --> 00:32:12,800
So, I'm glad, where'd you
get this, is this cotton?
614
00:32:12,843 --> 00:32:13,496
- [Homer] Goodwill.
615
00:32:13,540 --> 00:32:14,628
- That's Goodwill?
616
00:32:14,671 --> 00:32:16,108
It's nice man,
actually, I don't know.
617
00:32:16,151 --> 00:32:18,240
Yeah but, whether
it's her or whoever
618
00:32:18,284 --> 00:32:20,503
I'm just happy that you're
back on the horse dude,
619
00:32:20,547 --> 00:32:22,549
so...
620
00:32:22,592 --> 00:32:24,029
Seriously.
621
00:32:24,072 --> 00:32:26,205
But I'm home now, right, the
master's back in the castle,
622
00:32:26,248 --> 00:32:28,468
so you two can split, okay?
623
00:32:28,511 --> 00:32:32,080
So thanks for playing, namaste
Mary, nice to meet you.
624
00:32:32,124 --> 00:32:35,083
Just clean that cereal
bowl up when you're done.
625
00:32:35,127 --> 00:32:37,781
Phew, what is this?
626
00:32:37,825 --> 00:32:40,741
Got this.
627
00:32:41,785 --> 00:32:45,746
- Uh, actually man, we're
really close to finding a place.
628
00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:47,748
- Oh yeah, you and
the life coach?
629
00:32:47,791 --> 00:32:51,099
- Yeah no, her name's
Mary, we just can't
630
00:32:51,143 --> 00:32:53,406
move in till the
end of the month.
631
00:32:53,449 --> 00:32:56,452
- [Adam] I feel like
three's kind of a crowd.
632
00:32:56,496 --> 00:33:00,282
- Or it could be company.
633
00:33:01,022 --> 00:33:04,678
- Huh, sorry that was a joke,
634
00:33:04,721 --> 00:33:05,722
you were joking?
635
00:33:05,766 --> 00:33:07,028
What'd you say?
636
00:33:07,072 --> 00:33:08,464
Doesn't matter, I'm sorry
man, my brain has been
637
00:33:08,508 --> 00:33:11,032
so fried, just cause I've
been working nonstop,
638
00:33:11,076 --> 00:33:13,034
I've just been work, work,
work, work, work, it's been
639
00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:14,296
a hell of a, Bobby,
640
00:33:14,340 --> 00:33:15,602
not on the cou...
641
00:33:15,645 --> 00:33:17,256
Mary we really gotta make
sure he's not on this,
642
00:33:17,299 --> 00:33:19,388
okay, this is a really nice
couch, wouldn't want to ruin it
643
00:33:19,432 --> 00:33:21,608
he's got sort of
an unpredictable
bladder, all right,
644
00:33:21,651 --> 00:33:23,610
look if you guys don't
mind looking after Bob,
645
00:33:23,653 --> 00:33:26,178
and if you guys want to
split the couch or something,
646
00:33:26,221 --> 00:33:29,094
then, yeah you guys can stay,
I can make that arrangement
647
00:33:29,137 --> 00:33:31,487
work, I'm gonna be working
most nights anyway and when
648
00:33:31,531 --> 00:33:33,663
I'm not I'll be over at the
Yoga Center, doing my um--
649
00:33:33,707 --> 00:33:34,882
- Bikram.
650
00:33:34,925 --> 00:33:36,623
- Bikram, which I love,
to sweat that out.
651
00:33:36,666 --> 00:33:40,061
So uh, that's fine,
that's okay with me, yeah?
652
00:33:40,105 --> 00:33:43,064
Good, okay.
653
00:33:43,369 --> 00:33:46,198
- Um, well...
654
00:33:46,241 --> 00:33:47,808
Cool man, thanks.
655
00:33:47,851 --> 00:33:49,636
I uh...
656
00:33:49,679 --> 00:33:50,941
Yeah, you won't even
know we're here.
657
00:33:50,985 --> 00:33:52,639
- [Adam] That'd be perfect.
658
00:33:52,682 --> 00:33:54,423
Hey, would you mind
fixing his uh...
659
00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:56,425
Pulling his hat
down over his eye?
660
00:33:56,469 --> 00:33:58,732
Yeah, my little
Dogtonio Banderas.
661
00:33:58,775 --> 00:34:00,603
[laughs]
662
00:34:00,647 --> 00:34:01,735
- Cute.
663
00:34:01,778 --> 00:34:04,042
Thank you!
664
00:34:11,527 --> 00:34:12,615
- You didn't tell him about me?
665
00:34:12,659 --> 00:34:14,574
- Well I just told
him right now.
666
00:34:14,617 --> 00:34:17,359
- You told him I
was your life coach.
667
00:34:17,403 --> 00:34:18,665
- It's the best I
could do, I bought us
668
00:34:18,708 --> 00:34:19,535
till the end of the month.
669
00:34:19,579 --> 00:34:20,928
- To be his dog walker.
670
00:34:20,971 --> 00:34:22,451
- I know how to handle him.
671
00:34:22,495 --> 00:34:24,410
- Are you gonna tell him you're
entering the competition?
672
00:34:24,453 --> 00:34:27,804
Take him out, and talk to him.
673
00:34:27,848 --> 00:34:28,849
- What?
674
00:34:28,892 --> 00:34:30,329
- You want me to
be your life coach?
675
00:34:30,372 --> 00:34:32,374
Fine, take him out
and talk to him.
676
00:34:32,418 --> 00:34:34,550
Say you need some insider
information on the competition,
677
00:34:34,594 --> 00:34:36,639
you need all the
help you can get.
678
00:34:36,683 --> 00:34:37,771
- Trust me, I can handle this.
679
00:34:37,814 --> 00:34:39,468
- You know what,
I'm gonna go too.
680
00:34:39,512 --> 00:34:40,774
- No, no.
681
00:34:40,817 --> 00:34:42,167
- You won't even know I'm there.
682
00:34:42,210 --> 00:34:43,559
- Okay, chill out James
Bond, we're not doing that.
683
00:34:43,603 --> 00:34:45,387
- I'll figure out if
he has an in for you,
684
00:34:45,431 --> 00:34:47,389
or if you really stand a chance.
685
00:34:47,433 --> 00:34:49,609
- No.
686
00:34:49,652 --> 00:34:52,220
I got this.
687
00:34:52,264 --> 00:34:53,526
Thanks for meeting me
here man, I know it's
688
00:34:53,569 --> 00:34:56,137
your first night back
but, I was really hoping
689
00:34:56,181 --> 00:34:57,660
to get some advice.
690
00:34:57,704 --> 00:34:59,053
- Hey, you know how I
feel about giving advice.
691
00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:01,534
It's like who the hell am
I to offer anybody advice.
692
00:35:01,577 --> 00:35:03,449
I'm just another hard-working
American, just like the rest
693
00:35:03,492 --> 00:35:06,408
of us, doing my thing,
working on my show,
694
00:35:06,452 --> 00:35:09,281
living the dream, you know,
hey how do you like Bobby?
695
00:35:09,324 --> 00:35:11,021
Do you know that I rescued
him from this local
696
00:35:11,065 --> 00:35:12,980
shelter up where
we were shooting?
697
00:35:13,023 --> 00:35:14,503
- Cool.
698
00:35:14,547 --> 00:35:15,896
- I only want to spend my
time with him right now,
699
00:35:15,939 --> 00:35:18,333
it's like my new toy slash
life partner lover thing.
700
00:35:18,377 --> 00:35:19,682
It's like this crazy thing.
701
00:35:19,726 --> 00:35:21,641
But, I'm torn cause,
you know, work takes up
702
00:35:21,684 --> 00:35:23,556
so much of my time, so
much of my mental energy,
703
00:35:23,599 --> 00:35:26,646
it drains me
emotionally in a way,
704
00:35:26,689 --> 00:35:28,387
but they told me that they
were gonna put him down.
705
00:35:28,430 --> 00:35:29,910
And I was like I don't think
I could even live with myself
706
00:35:29,953 --> 00:35:31,564
if I knew that
that was happening,
707
00:35:31,607 --> 00:35:33,827
or that I was in the
proximity of that happening.
708
00:35:33,870 --> 00:35:35,437
- [Homer] The dog is cute.
709
00:35:35,481 --> 00:35:37,787
- I mean, look at that face, how
do you kill a face like that?
710
00:35:37,831 --> 00:35:39,746
You let this thing
die of natural causes.
711
00:35:39,789 --> 00:35:41,748
Little Fred Astaire
bow tie like that?
712
00:35:41,791 --> 00:35:42,749
Cute.
713
00:35:42,792 --> 00:35:43,619
- Yeah he's great.
714
00:35:43,663 --> 00:35:45,621
- Hey, did I tell you that
715
00:35:45,665 --> 00:35:48,798
our show got nominated for
a People's Choice Award?
716
00:35:48,842 --> 00:35:50,887
So that's pretty cool, right?
717
00:35:50,931 --> 00:35:52,802
- No you didn't tell
me that, that's great,
718
00:35:52,846 --> 00:35:53,673
congratulations man.
719
00:35:53,716 --> 00:35:55,196
- Thank you man, thank you.
720
00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:58,199
It's been a long road.
721
00:35:59,766 --> 00:36:01,594
- Not really, you sold
that show within a year
722
00:36:01,637 --> 00:36:03,987
of moving out here.
723
00:36:04,031 --> 00:36:05,902
- No, that was
Who's In My Bedroom?
724
00:36:05,946 --> 00:36:09,079
That's Not My Bra
took some work.
725
00:36:09,776 --> 00:36:12,126
So what did you want to
talk to me about anyway?
726
00:36:12,170 --> 00:36:13,562
- Well actually I was thinking--
727
00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:14,824
- Is it about that
life coach, Melanie?
728
00:36:14,868 --> 00:36:16,435
- Her name is Mary.
729
00:36:16,478 --> 00:36:18,872
- Mary, yeah, she seems all
right, by the way, I like her,
730
00:36:18,915 --> 00:36:22,658
you know, hot little body,
nice head of red hair,
731
00:36:22,702 --> 00:36:23,746
decent teeth.
732
00:36:23,790 --> 00:36:26,619
Yeah, where'd you
find her by the way?
733
00:36:26,662 --> 00:36:30,623
- Uh, I found her
at Whole Foods.
734
00:36:31,014 --> 00:36:32,494
- Whole Foods?
735
00:36:32,538 --> 00:36:34,540
Get out of here, you found
a life coach at Whole Foods?
736
00:36:34,583 --> 00:36:37,107
- Yeah, like on one
of those cork boards,
737
00:36:37,151 --> 00:36:39,458
she had a thing up.
738
00:36:39,501 --> 00:36:40,589
- Okay--
739
00:36:40,633 --> 00:36:41,764
- So, like a poster.
740
00:36:41,808 --> 00:36:43,984
- Okay, and you just
kinda pulled the tab?
741
00:36:44,027 --> 00:36:45,072
- [Homer] Yeah I ripped
her phone number off.
742
00:36:45,115 --> 00:36:46,247
- Ah, you ripped it huh?
743
00:36:46,291 --> 00:36:47,379
Yeah you did.
744
00:36:47,422 --> 00:36:49,076
- She's actually
been really helpful.
745
00:36:49,119 --> 00:36:52,949
She's inspired me to
give comedy another try.
746
00:36:53,602 --> 00:36:55,213
- Like...
747
00:36:55,256 --> 00:36:56,562
Comedy comedy?
748
00:36:56,605 --> 00:36:57,519
- Yeah.
749
00:36:57,563 --> 00:36:59,478
[laughs]
750
00:36:59,521 --> 00:37:00,740
- Mm hmm, mm hmm.
751
00:37:00,783 --> 00:37:03,221
[laughs]
752
00:37:04,004 --> 00:37:06,441
Sorry, I...
753
00:37:07,747 --> 00:37:09,444
I just thought that
we talked about this?
754
00:37:09,488 --> 00:37:11,490
We did it together when
we were kids, and we
755
00:37:11,533 --> 00:37:13,492
kind of joked about
doing it out here,
756
00:37:13,535 --> 00:37:16,277
we moved and I got lucky,
well combination lucky
757
00:37:16,321 --> 00:37:19,106
and extremely hard work,
and life proved that
758
00:37:19,149 --> 00:37:21,804
it had other plans for you.
759
00:37:21,848 --> 00:37:24,111
- You know those fliers
you asked me to put up?
760
00:37:24,154 --> 00:37:25,982
- Yeah, you did that right?
761
00:37:26,026 --> 00:37:27,897
Did you hit the Comedy Barn?
762
00:37:27,941 --> 00:37:30,291
Because they have a lot
of good newcomers there--
763
00:37:30,335 --> 00:37:32,467
- I'm thinking about entering.
764
00:37:32,511 --> 00:37:34,817
- Entering the Comedy Barn,
no you just walk right through
765
00:37:34,861 --> 00:37:36,384
the front door, that's fine.
766
00:37:36,428 --> 00:37:37,690
The manager Tommy, if you
drop my name, if you say that,
767
00:37:37,733 --> 00:37:39,039
"Adam wants me to
flier this place."
768
00:37:39,082 --> 00:37:42,216
- I've been thinking about
entering the contest.
769
00:37:42,260 --> 00:37:44,305
Your contest, I'm thinking
about entering, I want to give
770
00:37:44,349 --> 00:37:45,915
comedy another shot.
771
00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:48,744
- Is this because of that girl
Melissa, or Marnie or whatever?
772
00:37:48,788 --> 00:37:50,050
- Her name is Mary.
773
00:37:50,093 --> 00:37:52,357
- Okay, relax, she's
pulling the strings on this?
774
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:53,749
You know, cause there's
a lot of other ways to
775
00:37:53,793 --> 00:37:54,881
meet women, bro.
776
00:37:54,924 --> 00:37:56,926
You should come to
yoga with me honestly,
777
00:37:56,970 --> 00:37:58,188
want to come to bikram?
778
00:37:58,232 --> 00:37:59,929
- Are you saying I can't
do the competition?
779
00:37:59,973 --> 00:38:02,628
- No, I'm not saying
you can't do it, I just,
780
00:38:02,671 --> 00:38:04,978
I don't want you to get
destroyed, you know,
781
00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:06,458
that's all, I mean this is for
782
00:38:06,501 --> 00:38:09,809
professionals with careers
that are on the rise,
783
00:38:09,852 --> 00:38:13,160
sort of young up and
comers, kind of thing.
784
00:38:13,203 --> 00:38:15,249
I mean didn't you develop like,
785
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,991
crippling stage fright?
786
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,689
You know, I just don't
want this to set you back,
787
00:38:20,733 --> 00:38:22,735
I mean you might end up
more depressed when you
788
00:38:22,778 --> 00:38:24,563
see the kind of talent
that you'd be up against.
789
00:38:24,606 --> 00:38:27,174
Well look man, you know, I'm
not your mom so do whatever
790
00:38:27,217 --> 00:38:29,481
you want, I'm not gonna
stop you, you know,
do whatever you want.
791
00:38:29,524 --> 00:38:30,133
- Cool.
792
00:38:30,177 --> 00:38:30,960
- Yeah.
793
00:38:31,004 --> 00:38:32,353
- Cool.
794
00:38:32,397 --> 00:38:34,355
- All right, you got
to, uh, oh you got this?
795
00:38:34,399 --> 00:38:37,315
Okay, awesome.
796
00:38:37,358 --> 00:38:38,751
Hey, what'd you want
to talk to me about?
797
00:38:38,794 --> 00:38:40,579
That girl Mavis?
798
00:38:40,622 --> 00:38:41,841
What the hell is her name?
799
00:38:41,884 --> 00:38:44,147
I'll just have another
[mumbles] please.
800
00:38:44,191 --> 00:38:46,672
- [Mary] You know
how to handle him?
801
00:38:46,715 --> 00:38:48,500
- Well what the hell,
you threw me off.
802
00:38:48,543 --> 00:38:49,892
- He's an idiot.
803
00:38:49,936 --> 00:38:51,894
- So now what?
804
00:38:51,938 --> 00:38:54,984
- We win that
fucking competition.
805
00:38:56,551 --> 00:38:58,727
Come on.
806
00:38:58,771 --> 00:39:02,775
[calm music]
807
00:39:13,002 --> 00:39:15,178
[growling]
808
00:39:16,615 --> 00:39:17,833
- Boop.
809
00:39:17,877 --> 00:39:20,706
Hey, Homer.
810
00:39:20,749 --> 00:39:21,968
Yo, Homer.
811
00:39:22,011 --> 00:39:24,100
Do you know any like
funny, guy next door types
812
00:39:24,144 --> 00:39:27,060
I might be able to use for
an upcoming part on my show?
813
00:39:27,103 --> 00:39:28,975
It's kind of a major part
so, I'd like to use someone
814
00:39:29,018 --> 00:39:30,368
really funny.
815
00:39:30,411 --> 00:39:31,673
Uh, and I would
do it myself, but
816
00:39:31,717 --> 00:39:33,327
I don't know, it just
feels weird this time.
817
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:34,546
Do you know someone?
818
00:39:34,589 --> 00:39:35,634
- [Mary] Homer can do it.
819
00:39:35,677 --> 00:39:36,809
- Huh?
820
00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:38,376
I'm sorry, what?
821
00:39:38,419 --> 00:39:41,117
- [Mary] Homer can play
the part in your show.
822
00:39:41,161 --> 00:39:42,336
- What part?
823
00:39:42,380 --> 00:39:43,946
- Your friend, he
needs a funny type,
824
00:39:43,990 --> 00:39:44,817
why not you?
825
00:39:44,860 --> 00:39:47,515
- Oh, I'm not an actor.
826
00:39:47,559 --> 00:39:49,561
- Yeah, he's not
really an actor.
827
00:39:49,604 --> 00:39:51,432
You know he's got that
terrible performance anxiety.
828
00:39:51,476 --> 00:39:54,043
And plus this guy
needs to be like funny.
829
00:39:54,087 --> 00:39:55,915
- Well Homer can do
that, I've seen your
830
00:39:55,958 --> 00:39:57,612
stupid show, and he can
do what those people
831
00:39:57,656 --> 00:39:59,788
are doing, probably better.
832
00:39:59,832 --> 00:40:02,965
He's funny, you would know that
if you were paying attention.
833
00:40:03,009 --> 00:40:04,706
Watch some of your
high school videos.
834
00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:06,316
- You guys have been watching
my high school videos?
835
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:07,927
- She doesn't know what
she's talking about.
836
00:40:07,970 --> 00:40:10,712
- I just feel like you
might be overstepping your
837
00:40:10,756 --> 00:40:13,759
life coach boundaries
here, Mary.
838
00:40:14,107 --> 00:40:16,718
- Okay, I'm not a life coach.
839
00:40:16,762 --> 00:40:18,677
I'm somebody he got fired
when he forced me to smoke pot
840
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:21,854
at a 10 year old's
birthday party.
841
00:40:21,897 --> 00:40:23,682
So, that's done.
842
00:40:23,725 --> 00:40:26,206
No life coach.
843
00:40:26,249 --> 00:40:29,644
- Oh boy, oh boy,
I feel betrayed,
844
00:40:29,688 --> 00:40:32,560
stunned, forsaken,
845
00:40:32,604 --> 00:40:35,563
so I've been housing you guys
here under false pretenses,
846
00:40:35,607 --> 00:40:37,217
is that what you're saying?
847
00:40:37,260 --> 00:40:38,827
That I've been exploited, my
hospitality and my kindness
848
00:40:38,871 --> 00:40:42,744
has been exploited by a close
friend and a not life coach?
849
00:40:42,788 --> 00:40:47,227
I've literally opened my door
to you, and my heart to you,
850
00:40:47,270 --> 00:40:51,231
and my soul to you,
and you have squatted,
851
00:40:51,274 --> 00:40:53,799
taken down your pants,
and shat on that.
852
00:40:53,842 --> 00:40:55,670
You have shat on that trust.
853
00:40:55,714 --> 00:40:59,195
The two of you have collectively
taken deep dark shits
854
00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:00,588
all over my trust.
855
00:41:00,632 --> 00:41:02,721
Plus smoking is bad for
the lungs, and honestly,
856
00:41:02,764 --> 00:41:05,506
it causes the munchies, and
do you need to be munching?
857
00:41:05,550 --> 00:41:07,334
Is one thing that you should
probably keep in mind,
858
00:41:07,377 --> 00:41:09,162
before you take a toke.
859
00:41:09,205 --> 00:41:10,729
[breathes deeply]
860
00:41:10,772 --> 00:41:13,688
Okay, listen to me very closely,
here's what we're gonna do,
861
00:41:13,732 --> 00:41:16,691
the two of you assholes are
gonna pack up your shit,
862
00:41:16,735 --> 00:41:19,128
and get the f out of my h.
863
00:41:19,172 --> 00:41:20,956
Get out.
864
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,654
Unbelievable.
865
00:41:22,697 --> 00:41:25,265
But thank you for
watching my show, we need
866
00:41:25,308 --> 00:41:27,136
all the viewers we can get.
867
00:41:27,180 --> 00:41:28,703
Hey, if you guys get
bored, you could just
868
00:41:28,747 --> 00:41:30,444
rummage through some
more of my deeply
869
00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:31,663
personal belongings.
870
00:41:31,706 --> 00:41:33,142
I think my passport
and my god damn
871
00:41:33,186 --> 00:41:36,537
Social Security card
should be here somewhere.
872
00:41:36,581 --> 00:41:39,497
- I'm too in shock to kill you.
873
00:41:42,717 --> 00:41:45,546
I told you, I know
how to handle him.
874
00:41:45,590 --> 00:41:48,070
- You never told me you
had performance anxiety.
875
00:41:48,114 --> 00:41:50,290
- You saw my last gig.
876
00:41:50,333 --> 00:41:51,726
- That was not a gig,
877
00:41:51,770 --> 00:41:54,555
that was an open mic night.
878
00:41:54,599 --> 00:41:56,601
You told me you were
just out of practice,
879
00:41:56,644 --> 00:41:59,560
from your high school days.
880
00:42:01,257 --> 00:42:04,696
- Well, what are we gonna do?
881
00:42:23,366 --> 00:42:27,936
[cell phone ringing]
882
00:42:34,247 --> 00:42:37,119
- Hello?
883
00:42:37,163 --> 00:42:40,340
Hi Steven.
884
00:42:42,429 --> 00:42:45,606
Starting today?
885
00:42:53,788 --> 00:42:55,703
- I thought you said
we were going to lunch?
886
00:42:55,747 --> 00:42:57,705
- There's a flower shop
on the first floor,
887
00:42:57,749 --> 00:42:58,967
bring him some flowers.
888
00:42:59,011 --> 00:43:00,403
- Are you serious?
889
00:43:00,447 --> 00:43:02,580
The man's impossible,
I can't win with him.
890
00:43:02,623 --> 00:43:04,059
He's not a nice guy.
891
00:43:04,103 --> 00:43:05,626
- Tell him if he tries
any bullshit that he can't
892
00:43:05,670 --> 00:43:07,628
hurt you anymore.
893
00:43:07,672 --> 00:43:10,022
Trust me.
894
00:43:10,065 --> 00:43:12,372
You'll be glad you
did when he's dead.
895
00:43:12,415 --> 00:43:15,767
We'll wait here, then
we can get lunch.
896
00:44:02,727 --> 00:44:04,119
That was fast.
897
00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:05,860
- Yep, all good.
898
00:44:05,904 --> 00:44:08,907
- I'm sure he was
happy to see you.
899
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:16,741
[calm piano]
900
00:44:52,777 --> 00:44:56,128
- [Homer] I want to live here.
901
00:45:13,972 --> 00:45:15,974
- Okay, give me another.
902
00:45:16,017 --> 00:45:18,367
- I think shredded
lettuce is funny.
903
00:45:18,411 --> 00:45:19,673
- I don't see it.
904
00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:21,022
- Like you know when you
go to a sandwich shop
905
00:45:21,066 --> 00:45:22,545
and they skip out on all
the ingredients, and then
906
00:45:22,589 --> 00:45:25,157
when it comes time for the
lettuce, they just empty
907
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:28,726
a dump truck full of
it onto your sandwich.
908
00:45:28,769 --> 00:45:30,640
How's that not funny?
909
00:45:30,684 --> 00:45:32,642
- I don't see it,
it's not funny.
910
00:45:32,686 --> 00:45:36,777
- I once yelled at a woman
after I saved her life.
911
00:45:36,821 --> 00:45:37,909
- I don't get it.
912
00:45:37,952 --> 00:45:41,739
- Okay I'll put that
in the maybe column.
913
00:45:42,652 --> 00:45:46,613
I thought it was funny,
I think if I explain it.
914
00:45:46,656 --> 00:45:48,615
- Come on, next.
915
00:45:48,658 --> 00:45:49,877
- Why am I doing this?
916
00:45:49,921 --> 00:45:50,878
He kicked us out.
917
00:45:50,922 --> 00:45:52,793
- Anyone can enter.
918
00:45:52,837 --> 00:45:53,838
There are judges.
919
00:45:53,881 --> 00:45:55,100
- Yeah, and what
about stage fright?
920
00:45:55,143 --> 00:45:57,406
- Take a Xanax.
921
00:45:59,365 --> 00:46:02,672
- All right.
922
00:46:02,934 --> 00:46:05,980
- It's awfully quiet up there.
923
00:46:06,589 --> 00:46:09,070
- Maybe she's in her coffin.
924
00:46:09,114 --> 00:46:12,639
- Will you go tell
her dinner's ready?
925
00:46:13,292 --> 00:46:15,598
- Emma, dinner's ready!
926
00:46:15,642 --> 00:46:17,252
- Okay, will you go
up there and tell her
927
00:46:17,296 --> 00:46:19,733
dinner's ready?
928
00:46:25,521 --> 00:46:26,653
[knocking]
929
00:46:26,696 --> 00:46:29,351
- Hey, it's time for dinner.
930
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:31,049
[knocking]
931
00:46:31,092 --> 00:46:34,269
Emma, it's time to eat,
we're having pasta.
932
00:46:36,663 --> 00:46:40,536
[crickets chirping]
933
00:46:43,191 --> 00:46:44,845
- What do you mean she's gone?
934
00:46:44,889 --> 00:46:46,847
- Vampires have a way
of sneaking around.
935
00:46:46,891 --> 00:46:48,544
- This isn't funny.
936
00:46:48,588 --> 00:46:51,286
- Trust me, she's gonna turn up.
937
00:46:51,330 --> 00:46:54,637
- She's gonna turn up?
938
00:46:55,029 --> 00:46:56,291
She's gonna turn up?
939
00:46:56,335 --> 00:46:59,033
What is she gonna turn
up dead in the pool?
940
00:47:00,469 --> 00:47:03,168
- All right.
941
00:47:04,865 --> 00:47:07,607
- [Mary] I'm fucked.
942
00:47:07,650 --> 00:47:09,696
- Look, I'm sure she
just realized she's not
943
00:47:09,739 --> 00:47:11,480
cool enough to hang out
with us, and decided
944
00:47:11,524 --> 00:47:14,048
to skip town for a bit.
945
00:47:14,092 --> 00:47:15,615
- Skip town?
946
00:47:15,658 --> 00:47:19,271
Where would she skip town
to, we're in the desert.
947
00:47:19,314 --> 00:47:21,055
What'd she hitchhike
to the outlet mall at
948
00:47:21,099 --> 00:47:22,840
nine o'clock at night?
949
00:47:22,883 --> 00:47:25,668
I have to call the police.
950
00:47:28,715 --> 00:47:32,110
Oh my god, I haven't
even worked a full day.
951
00:47:32,675 --> 00:47:34,503
You realize no amount of
therapy is gonna help me
952
00:47:34,547 --> 00:47:36,897
get a nanny gig after this?
953
00:47:37,724 --> 00:47:40,727
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
954
00:47:43,121 --> 00:47:44,426
Just close your eyes.
955
00:47:44,470 --> 00:47:45,645
- I don't have time for this.
956
00:47:45,688 --> 00:47:48,561
- Just do it.
957
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,914
Close your eyes.
958
00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:56,308
Now I want you to
realize something.
959
00:47:56,351 --> 00:47:58,701
You are getting paid.
960
00:47:58,745 --> 00:48:00,051
- I haven't gotten paid yet.
961
00:48:00,094 --> 00:48:02,314
- You are getting paid
to stay in a really cool
962
00:48:02,357 --> 00:48:05,447
house in the desert with
a fully stocked pantry,
963
00:48:05,491 --> 00:48:07,493
and wet bar.
964
00:48:07,536 --> 00:48:10,061
Let the little vampire
girl have her fun.
965
00:48:10,104 --> 00:48:11,801
She's probably just out
hanging out with other
966
00:48:11,845 --> 00:48:13,716
private school vampires
with second homes in the
967
00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:16,676
desert, she'll come back.
968
00:48:20,114 --> 00:48:22,725
Didn't you ever sneak out
when your mom left town?
969
00:48:22,769 --> 00:48:24,553
- No, my mom killed herself,
970
00:48:24,597 --> 00:48:26,773
and I was too young to
know what sneaking off was,
971
00:48:26,816 --> 00:48:29,558
and I liked my
grandmother who raised me,
972
00:48:29,602 --> 00:48:31,430
so I never snuck off.
973
00:48:31,473 --> 00:48:34,694
Unless it was to
my room to read.
974
00:48:35,086 --> 00:48:39,742
I have a long time
how I survived.
975
00:48:45,705 --> 00:48:49,187
[glasses tinging]
976
00:48:51,667 --> 00:48:53,887
What are you doing?
977
00:48:53,931 --> 00:48:56,542
- To dead,
978
00:48:56,585 --> 00:48:58,631
and dying parents.
979
00:48:58,674 --> 00:49:00,938
- That is twisted.
980
00:49:05,986 --> 00:49:09,468
- And to a vampire-free
weekend in the sun.
981
00:49:12,688 --> 00:49:15,169
Come on.
982
00:49:15,213 --> 00:49:17,998
Come on.
983
00:49:18,738 --> 00:49:21,001
- Fuck it.
984
00:49:21,045 --> 00:49:23,743
[glasses ting]
985
00:49:25,832 --> 00:49:28,008
[laughing]
986
00:49:28,052 --> 00:49:32,273
[Back to the Life by Spoon]
987
00:49:41,935 --> 00:49:45,634
♪ Son you must go
back to the life.
988
00:49:45,678 --> 00:49:49,290
♪ Go pack your bags,
take up your scythe.
989
00:49:49,334 --> 00:49:52,902
♪ Cause this world
wasn't meant for us both.
990
00:49:55,775 --> 00:49:59,518
♪ Who made the night,
who made the day?
991
00:49:59,561 --> 00:50:03,000
♪ Who gave you life,
who gave you say?
992
00:50:03,043 --> 00:50:07,439
♪ I said this world
wasn't meant for us both.
993
00:50:08,788 --> 00:50:12,487
[shouts]
994
00:50:30,723 --> 00:50:34,683
[water splashes]
995
00:50:47,653 --> 00:50:49,394
- I'll have a vodka soda.
996
00:50:49,437 --> 00:50:50,656
- Nice.
997
00:50:50,699 --> 00:50:51,787
I'll have a Malibu coke.
998
00:50:51,831 --> 00:50:54,094
- I should probably
check your ID.
999
00:50:54,138 --> 00:50:56,792
- [Homer] Nice.
1000
00:50:56,836 --> 00:50:59,447
- Thank you.
1001
00:51:00,753 --> 00:51:03,712
Hey it's your birthday,
happy birthday!
1002
00:51:03,756 --> 00:51:04,670
- What?
1003
00:51:04,713 --> 00:51:05,584
Are you...
1004
00:51:05,627 --> 00:51:06,933
Give me this.
1005
00:51:06,976 --> 00:51:08,761
Holy shit it's
your 30th birthday.
1006
00:51:08,804 --> 00:51:10,937
- Which is a birthday just
like any other birthday.
1007
00:51:10,980 --> 00:51:12,243
Please, keep it down.
1008
00:51:12,286 --> 00:51:13,635
- No, I will not keep
it down, hey everyone,
1009
00:51:13,679 --> 00:51:15,637
it's her birthday, if
we could just all sing
1010
00:51:15,681 --> 00:51:17,248
in the key of E, ha--
1011
00:51:17,291 --> 00:51:19,119
- All right, okay,
that's enough.
1012
00:51:19,163 --> 00:51:20,686
We're fine, really.
1013
00:51:20,729 --> 00:51:23,602
Okay, thanks, just the drinks.
1014
00:51:23,645 --> 00:51:24,733
No singing.
1015
00:51:24,777 --> 00:51:26,170
- Hey, attention everyone,
1016
00:51:26,213 --> 00:51:28,781
yeah, turn up your hearing
aids here, we have a special
1017
00:51:28,824 --> 00:51:30,913
birthday lady in the house, she
turned 30, - Nope, that's okay.
1018
00:51:30,957 --> 00:51:32,785
- Which is
1019
00:51:32,828 --> 00:51:36,093
as young as some of your
great, great grandchildren.
1020
00:51:36,136 --> 00:51:38,138
[laughs]
- [Mary] It's not funny.
1021
00:51:38,182 --> 00:51:41,707
- It is funny,
they can't hear me.
1022
00:51:45,145 --> 00:51:48,931
Why didn't you tell me
it was your birthday?
1023
00:51:50,716 --> 00:51:53,675
That's ridiculous.
1024
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:56,722
What do you want
for your birthday?
1025
00:52:02,641 --> 00:52:04,512
- Is this thing on?
1026
00:52:04,556 --> 00:52:06,993
All right.
1027
00:52:07,428 --> 00:52:11,128
Ladies and gentlemen,
please give it up
1028
00:52:11,171 --> 00:52:13,869
for the one, the only,
1029
00:52:13,913 --> 00:52:18,918
Homer Seinfeld, that's
it, chug that drink.
1030
00:52:19,701 --> 00:52:21,573
- All right.
1031
00:52:21,616 --> 00:52:22,835
- Hey!
1032
00:52:22,878 --> 00:52:25,664
- All right, well, um,
1033
00:52:25,707 --> 00:52:28,362
this is probably the
worst birthday gift
1034
00:52:28,406 --> 00:52:30,059
that you could ask for.
1035
00:52:30,103 --> 00:52:32,453
Palm Springs!
1036
00:52:32,497 --> 00:52:33,672
Can you hear me or do
you need to turn up
1037
00:52:33,715 --> 00:52:35,543
your hearing aids?
1038
00:52:35,587 --> 00:52:36,892
[laughs]
1039
00:52:36,936 --> 00:52:41,288
Uh, let's see, well
I have narcolepsy,
1040
00:52:41,332 --> 00:52:43,551
but only in one of my legs.
1041
00:52:43,595 --> 00:52:45,466
It's always asleep,
just walking around.
1042
00:52:45,510 --> 00:52:49,644
[snores]
1043
00:52:51,646 --> 00:52:54,649
Why are you making me do this?
1044
00:52:54,693 --> 00:52:56,173
I don't know.
1045
00:52:56,216 --> 00:52:57,913
I don't know.
1046
00:52:57,957 --> 00:52:59,480
Growing up my
parents made me wear
1047
00:52:59,524 --> 00:53:02,657
corduroy huskie pants all
the time, and as a fat kid,
1048
00:53:02,701 --> 00:53:06,487
you know, you walk
around, you just get
this zip, zip, zip, zip.
1049
00:53:06,531 --> 00:53:09,925
So much a lot of friction
down in the leg area,
1050
00:53:09,969 --> 00:53:13,015
like flames were bursting
out of my pants, it's,
1051
00:53:13,059 --> 00:53:14,582
I don't know why my parents
let me do that, I mean
1052
00:53:14,626 --> 00:53:16,584
it's back in the 80's back
when child abuse was expected.
1053
00:53:16,628 --> 00:53:18,499
[cough]
1054
00:53:18,543 --> 00:53:21,198
Well, that was a cough,
not sure that was a laugh,
1055
00:53:21,241 --> 00:53:24,592
I think that was a cough,
I'll take it, thank you.
1056
00:53:24,636 --> 00:53:28,379
[laughing]
1057
00:53:28,422 --> 00:53:29,031
- You did it!
1058
00:53:29,075 --> 00:53:30,598
- I did it!
1059
00:53:30,642 --> 00:53:32,731
I did it at the geriatric
bar of West Palm Springs.
1060
00:53:32,774 --> 00:53:34,472
- Doesn't matter you did it.
1061
00:53:34,515 --> 00:53:35,342
- Yeah I did.
1062
00:53:35,386 --> 00:53:37,126
[screams]
1063
00:53:39,390 --> 00:53:40,782
Whoa.
1064
00:53:40,826 --> 00:53:44,003
[laughs]
1065
00:53:48,616 --> 00:53:51,010
Oh...
1066
00:53:56,798 --> 00:53:58,583
What were you like as a kid?
1067
00:53:58,626 --> 00:54:00,541
- No psychology please.
1068
00:54:00,585 --> 00:54:03,501
- I'm just trying to have
an adult conversation,
1069
00:54:03,892 --> 00:54:06,852
might get some good
material out of it.
1070
00:54:08,941 --> 00:54:11,857
- It was fine I guess.
1071
00:54:15,295 --> 00:54:18,777
My mom died when I was 10.
1072
00:54:20,692 --> 00:54:24,696
In the middle of her last
year of architecture school.
1073
00:54:24,739 --> 00:54:27,264
- I'm sorry.
1074
00:54:27,307 --> 00:54:30,397
- I envy happy people.
1075
00:54:30,441 --> 00:54:34,227
I don't know how they do it.
1076
00:54:34,619 --> 00:54:37,099
My family has a grand tradition
1077
00:54:37,143 --> 00:54:40,538
of succumbing to depression,
1078
00:54:40,886 --> 00:54:43,192
and my
1079
00:54:43,236 --> 00:54:46,718
mom followed in my
grandfather's footsteps.
1080
00:54:49,547 --> 00:54:51,549
My grandmother insisted
that meds were the only
1081
00:54:51,592 --> 00:54:55,161
way to beat it, which
my mom refused to take.
1082
00:54:55,814 --> 00:54:58,425
- Do you take any medication?
1083
00:54:59,861 --> 00:55:02,647
- Yeah.
1084
00:55:02,690 --> 00:55:04,562
I'm not proud of it.
1085
00:55:04,605 --> 00:55:07,608
My grandmother used to say,
1086
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:11,699
"If you had diabetes you would
take your insulin right?"
1087
00:55:14,746 --> 00:55:17,314
I never bought it though.
1088
00:55:17,357 --> 00:55:19,707
I'm still convinced
it's a choice.
1089
00:55:19,751 --> 00:55:22,188
- Then why are you depressed?
1090
00:55:34,853 --> 00:55:37,595
I don't know, part of me thinks
1091
00:55:37,638 --> 00:55:41,425
I should be back on meds.
1092
00:55:45,994 --> 00:55:47,779
My dad came home to
find me bleeding out
1093
00:55:47,822 --> 00:55:50,825
in the bath tub
my freshman year.
1094
00:55:54,481 --> 00:55:55,787
They called an ambulance,
that was the last time
1095
00:55:55,830 --> 00:55:58,833
we talked about it.
1096
00:56:04,665 --> 00:56:07,755
And Adam moved to our
town the next year, and
1097
00:56:07,799 --> 00:56:11,237
we became friends, we
were the class clowns.
1098
00:56:11,672 --> 00:56:15,284
I was goofing off getting into
trouble making people laugh.
1099
00:56:15,328 --> 00:56:17,635
Laughing at ourselves.
1100
00:56:17,678 --> 00:56:21,160
It was good to laugh again.
1101
00:56:21,639 --> 00:56:24,076
- Why is he such a douche bag?
1102
00:56:24,119 --> 00:56:26,600
- Adam or my dad?
1103
00:56:26,644 --> 00:56:29,995
[laughs]
1104
00:56:30,604 --> 00:56:32,345
- You should stop talking
about shredded lettuce
1105
00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:35,435
in your set and start
talking about these people.
1106
00:56:35,479 --> 00:56:37,655
- Eh, people don't
wanna hear about that.
1107
00:56:37,698 --> 00:56:39,657
- You'd be surprised.
1108
00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:40,962
- It's not funny.
1109
00:56:41,006 --> 00:56:43,965
- Find a way to make it funny.
1110
00:56:44,009 --> 00:56:47,534
People can relate
more than you think.
1111
00:56:48,709 --> 00:56:52,191
Where's your mom in all of this?
1112
00:56:52,583 --> 00:56:55,803
- Do you want a drink?
1113
00:56:56,587 --> 00:56:57,892
- Why not?
1114
00:56:57,936 --> 00:56:59,372
- [Homer] Yeah.
1115
00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:00,591
[laughs]
1116
00:57:00,634 --> 00:57:03,028
- Okay.
1117
00:57:04,595 --> 00:57:07,467
- Let's talk about
your love life.
1118
00:57:07,511 --> 00:57:08,294
- What about it?
1119
00:57:08,337 --> 00:57:09,948
- Do you date?
1120
00:57:09,991 --> 00:57:10,905
- Nope.
1121
00:57:10,949 --> 00:57:12,907
Not anymore.
1122
00:57:12,951 --> 00:57:16,955
Nothing I love seems to
last so what's the point?
1123
00:57:16,998 --> 00:57:19,305
Couple one night stands
every now and again
1124
00:57:19,348 --> 00:57:22,439
helps pacify the itch.
1125
00:57:23,265 --> 00:57:26,573
Everyone here is so depressed.
1126
00:57:26,617 --> 00:57:28,836
If I married a depressed
person, do you know how
1127
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:33,101
awful that would be, that
would be so fucked up.
1128
00:57:35,539 --> 00:57:39,020
Oh, you hear that world?
1129
00:57:39,064 --> 00:57:42,546
I am fine with my
depressed spinsterhood.
1130
00:57:42,589 --> 00:57:45,418
I am fine.
1131
00:57:45,462 --> 00:57:48,769
Let's dance.
1132
00:57:48,813 --> 00:57:50,989
Come on.
1133
00:57:51,511 --> 00:57:54,122
Dance with me.
1134
00:57:56,603 --> 00:57:59,476
Let's dance.
1135
00:57:59,519 --> 00:58:00,520
- You're naked.
1136
00:58:00,564 --> 00:58:01,260
- Who cares?
1137
00:58:01,303 --> 00:58:03,915
Come on, dance with me.
1138
00:58:03,958 --> 00:58:07,135
Who's the stick in the
mud now, Mr. Seinfeld?
1139
00:58:07,179 --> 00:58:09,747
- You do realize my last
name's not Seinfeld right?
1140
00:58:16,362 --> 00:58:19,539
- Are you scared?
1141
00:58:23,717 --> 00:58:28,156
[touching piano]
1142
00:58:43,998 --> 00:58:46,914
- Happy birthday.
1143
00:59:20,774 --> 00:59:22,602
We gonna talk about last night?
1144
00:59:22,646 --> 00:59:24,343
- There's nothing to talk about.
1145
00:59:24,386 --> 00:59:27,215
- Oh, okay.
1146
00:59:28,652 --> 00:59:33,265
I seem to remember you
begging me to dance with you.
1147
00:59:33,961 --> 00:59:36,355
- It was a moment in
time, we were drunk,
1148
00:59:36,398 --> 00:59:39,663
we had fun right?
1149
00:59:41,665 --> 00:59:44,842
- Right.
1150
00:59:55,896 --> 00:59:57,724
- I can't start something now,
1151
00:59:57,768 --> 01:00:02,207
now or ever, I don't
have my shit together.
1152
01:00:02,250 --> 01:00:04,513
I'm miserable.
1153
01:00:04,557 --> 01:00:07,647
And then you would be miserable,
and then you would leave.
1154
01:00:09,301 --> 01:00:12,826
I don't even have
a job after today.
1155
01:00:12,870 --> 01:00:16,830
I gotta find that kid.
1156
01:00:18,832 --> 01:00:21,618
- So that's it?
1157
01:00:21,661 --> 01:00:25,796
[door opens]
1158
01:00:35,022 --> 01:00:37,285
Welcome back.
1159
01:00:37,329 --> 01:00:40,549
You've got some
blood on your fangs.
1160
01:00:41,246 --> 01:00:44,510
- He doesn't mean it.
1161
01:00:45,772 --> 01:00:49,689
[gentle piano]
1162
01:02:09,682 --> 01:02:10,901
- Hm.
1163
01:02:10,944 --> 01:02:14,948
- I'll walk the dog
morning, noon, and night.
1164
01:02:15,862 --> 01:02:19,126
- One more week?
1165
01:02:19,170 --> 01:02:22,086
- Apologize.
1166
01:02:22,129 --> 01:02:24,044
- We're sorry.
1167
01:02:24,088 --> 01:02:27,744
- Yeah, you're lucky I'm a yogi.
1168
01:02:31,748 --> 01:02:33,924
- Do you want to
rehearse tonight?
1169
01:02:33,967 --> 01:02:36,709
- I can't.
1170
01:02:37,318 --> 01:02:40,757
- Okay.
1171
01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:43,760
- You need to end
with the funny part.
1172
01:02:43,803 --> 01:02:45,457
- The mechanics of joke telling.
1173
01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:46,850
- Yes, there you go.
1174
01:02:46,893 --> 01:02:50,244
- I just need better material,
like good stuff that,
1175
01:02:50,288 --> 01:02:52,246
like that baby dinosaur
joke you have is hilarious,
1176
01:02:52,290 --> 01:02:53,726
like I want more stuff...
1177
01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:55,075
- You like that one?
1178
01:02:55,119 --> 01:02:56,947
- I'll buy it off of you,
I love it, are you kidding
1179
01:02:56,990 --> 01:02:58,905
it's hilarious.
1180
01:02:58,949 --> 01:03:01,603
- I don't know, I
just, there needs to be
1181
01:03:01,647 --> 01:03:04,432
more to it, more meat.
1182
01:03:04,476 --> 01:03:05,825
- [Homer] It's great.
1183
01:03:05,869 --> 01:03:07,522
- [Comedian] Thank you.
1184
01:03:07,566 --> 01:03:09,655
- [Homer] I mean that, I'm not
just trying to sleep with you.
1185
01:03:09,698 --> 01:03:10,699
- [Comedian] [chuckles]
I feel like you are.
1186
01:03:10,743 --> 01:03:12,658
[laughs]
1187
01:03:12,701 --> 01:03:14,094
And I will by the way.
1188
01:03:14,138 --> 01:03:16,618
- Yes!
- Maybe.
1189
01:03:16,662 --> 01:03:19,752
It just needs that one
1190
01:03:19,796 --> 01:03:21,145
thing that hooks.
1191
01:03:21,188 --> 01:03:22,363
- Well that's what you're
here for, you're supposed
1192
01:03:22,407 --> 01:03:23,190
to tell me--
1193
01:03:23,234 --> 01:03:24,713
- I'm trying to find it!
1194
01:03:24,757 --> 01:03:26,106
- I need good jokes like
you have, that baby dinosaur
1195
01:03:26,150 --> 01:03:27,804
joke's hysterical.
1196
01:03:27,847 --> 01:03:28,935
Needs more of a punch?
1197
01:03:28,979 --> 01:03:30,415
- It needs a punch too.
1198
01:03:30,458 --> 01:03:32,243
- Why don't you punch
the baby dinosaur?
1199
01:03:32,286 --> 01:03:36,421
- All right, see there
finally you have a good idea.
1200
01:03:36,464 --> 01:03:39,293
- I don't know, I just find
shredded lettuce to be funny.
1201
01:03:39,337 --> 01:03:41,992
[laughs]
1202
01:03:44,342 --> 01:03:47,345
- Hi, Homer, can I talk
to you for a second?
1203
01:03:47,388 --> 01:03:50,739
- Oh hey, this is Zoey,
Zoey, this is Mary.
1204
01:03:50,783 --> 01:03:52,741
Zoey's hilarious,
she's in my class.
1205
01:03:52,785 --> 01:03:54,874
We're working on
some new material.
1206
01:03:54,918 --> 01:03:56,093
- New material?
1207
01:03:56,136 --> 01:03:58,660
- You can never have
enough material.
1208
01:03:58,704 --> 01:04:00,358
- Trying to get it good.
1209
01:04:00,401 --> 01:04:01,750
- I know, right? [chuckles]
1210
01:04:01,794 --> 01:04:03,752
- That's right.
1211
01:04:03,796 --> 01:04:06,364
Can I talk to you
in the kitchen?
1212
01:04:08,670 --> 01:04:09,019
- One sec.
1213
01:04:09,062 --> 01:04:10,368
- Okay.
1214
01:04:10,411 --> 01:04:11,064
- Don't forget the one
about the old couple.
1215
01:04:11,108 --> 01:04:12,544
- Oh yes, thank you.
1216
01:04:12,587 --> 01:04:15,155
- That brings the house down.
1217
01:04:19,116 --> 01:04:20,682
What's up?
1218
01:04:20,726 --> 01:04:21,945
- I thought we were gonna
work on your set tonight?
1219
01:04:21,988 --> 01:04:23,381
- We are, I thought you
were gonna be at work
1220
01:04:23,424 --> 01:04:25,470
so I invited Zoey over after
class, it's not a big deal.
1221
01:04:25,513 --> 01:04:26,471
- Hey Homer!
1222
01:04:26,514 --> 01:04:28,865
- One second.
1223
01:04:29,648 --> 01:04:30,562
- Are you jealous?
1224
01:04:30,605 --> 01:04:32,129
- Are you serious?
1225
01:04:32,172 --> 01:04:34,392
- Look, even if this were
a thing, which it is not,
1226
01:04:34,435 --> 01:04:36,785
you said Palm Springs was
a one time let's forget our
1227
01:04:36,829 --> 01:04:38,352
problems and escape thing.
1228
01:04:38,396 --> 01:04:39,527
- I did say that.
1229
01:04:39,571 --> 01:04:40,833
- So then what's the issue?
1230
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,922
- The issue is there
is some random girl
1231
01:04:42,966 --> 01:04:45,142
sitting on the couch that
I sleep on helping you
1232
01:04:45,185 --> 01:04:47,579
with your set, which
is partially mine.
1233
01:04:47,622 --> 01:04:49,015
- Your set, okay.
1234
01:04:49,059 --> 01:04:50,669
- You asked me to help you.
1235
01:04:50,712 --> 01:04:53,193
Please get her out of here.
1236
01:04:53,237 --> 01:04:56,631
- No worries, kids, I
got a yoga class at 10,
1237
01:04:56,675 --> 01:04:58,242
so Homer, great work today.
1238
01:04:58,285 --> 01:04:59,808
- Yeah, you too.
1239
01:04:59,852 --> 01:05:02,811
- All right, bye.
1240
01:05:03,247 --> 01:05:05,727
- You should
introduce her to Adam.
1241
01:05:05,771 --> 01:05:07,947
They could hit some great
yoga positions together.
1242
01:05:07,991 --> 01:05:09,993
- Mm, I never pegged you
for the jealous type.
1243
01:05:10,036 --> 01:05:12,996
- I'm not jealous, I'd just
like to finish what we started.
1244
01:05:13,039 --> 01:05:15,172
Making it happen, something
you don't seem to know
1245
01:05:15,215 --> 01:05:16,390
much about.
1246
01:05:16,434 --> 01:05:17,609
- What the hell are
you talking about?
1247
01:05:17,652 --> 01:05:19,654
Whose idea was this
in the first place?
1248
01:05:19,698 --> 01:05:20,960
- Are you upset that
you fell into the
1249
01:05:21,004 --> 01:05:22,788
one night stand category?
1250
01:05:22,831 --> 01:05:24,355
- No.
1251
01:05:24,398 --> 01:05:25,747
- For the record, it doesn't
count unless you ask a girl
1252
01:05:25,791 --> 01:05:28,359
to dinner, and you never
asked me that, so it's past.
1253
01:05:28,402 --> 01:05:29,838
Over, let's rehearse.
1254
01:05:29,882 --> 01:05:32,580
- No.
1255
01:05:32,624 --> 01:05:35,235
- We had a deal.
1256
01:05:35,279 --> 01:05:36,758
- I don't care.
1257
01:05:36,802 --> 01:05:38,760
I'll write you a check if I win.
1258
01:05:38,804 --> 01:05:40,588
- But I have to do my part.
1259
01:05:40,632 --> 01:05:42,721
- Your part, that's
what you gotta do?
1260
01:05:42,764 --> 01:05:44,723
Did your mom not finishing
architecture school
1261
01:05:44,766 --> 01:05:46,943
send you on this fucking rampage
where you gotta make sure
1262
01:05:46,986 --> 01:05:49,641
everyone you meet in life
finishes what they start?
1263
01:05:49,684 --> 01:05:51,077
Huh?
1264
01:05:51,121 --> 01:05:52,600
Is that why you're so fucking
bossy, what's the real
1265
01:05:52,644 --> 01:05:54,428
issue here Mary?
1266
01:05:54,472 --> 01:05:55,952
Can't be the money,
what's holding you back?
1267
01:05:55,995 --> 01:05:58,867
- At least my goal isn't to
write for some base level
1268
01:05:58,911 --> 01:06:00,565
crap of a sitcom.
1269
01:06:00,608 --> 01:06:02,306
- Yeah, well maybe the real
problem isn't that people
1270
01:06:02,349 --> 01:06:04,482
leave you it's that you
fucking push them away!
1271
01:06:04,525 --> 01:06:06,788
- Why don't you grow some
balls and actually go
1272
01:06:06,832 --> 01:06:08,747
visit your father
while he's still alive?
1273
01:06:08,790 --> 01:06:10,227
At least you have one?
1274
01:06:10,270 --> 01:06:12,881
- And a bitter passive
aggressive nanny is back,
1275
01:06:12,925 --> 01:06:15,449
hello, welcome back.
1276
01:06:15,493 --> 01:06:18,757
Think it's time you
handle your own shit.
1277
01:06:19,627 --> 01:06:22,761
[glass breaks]
1278
01:06:36,731 --> 01:06:40,387
[knocking]
1279
01:06:46,089 --> 01:06:49,266
Hey pops.
1280
01:06:58,710 --> 01:07:01,669
It's been a while.
1281
01:07:02,540 --> 01:07:05,717
The nurse said you weren't
doing too good and,
1282
01:07:05,760 --> 01:07:08,720
I'm sorry I couldn't
make it sooner.
1283
01:07:29,871 --> 01:07:33,049
I'm gonna do stand up tonight.
1284
01:07:34,789 --> 01:07:35,616
There's gonna be a
lot of people there,
1285
01:07:35,660 --> 01:07:38,663
I'm kind of nervous.
1286
01:07:42,623 --> 01:07:45,931
- What are you gonna talk about?
1287
01:07:46,236 --> 01:07:48,934
- Um...
1288
01:07:48,977 --> 01:07:50,762
I'm gonna start off
with a bit about
1289
01:07:50,805 --> 01:07:54,200
when you go to the store...
1290
01:07:56,202 --> 01:07:57,464
You remember that
thing that you said
1291
01:07:57,508 --> 01:07:59,162
that would always
make mom laugh?
1292
01:07:59,205 --> 01:08:02,643
- No, no. [coughs]
1293
01:08:02,687 --> 01:08:05,646
No, your mother never...
1294
01:08:05,690 --> 01:08:09,128
Never liked it when
you tried to be funny.
1295
01:08:09,694 --> 01:08:12,131
She said it made her anxious.
1296
01:08:12,175 --> 01:08:13,654
- I don't think mom said that.
1297
01:08:13,698 --> 01:08:15,917
- Isn't that what
you said Derdra?
1298
01:08:15,961 --> 01:08:18,790
Mm.
1299
01:08:20,183 --> 01:08:24,143
She came home right after
you tried to kill yourself.
1300
01:08:26,624 --> 01:08:28,582
- What?
1301
01:08:28,626 --> 01:08:31,890
- Your mother came
to the house and...
1302
01:08:34,501 --> 01:08:38,157
You were in the hospital
so I told her what you did.
1303
01:08:43,336 --> 01:08:46,948
And that's when she
left us for good.
1304
01:08:46,992 --> 01:08:49,777
She couldn't bear to look at you
1305
01:08:49,821 --> 01:08:51,605
lying there so pathetic.
1306
01:08:51,649 --> 01:08:55,653
[hacking and coughing]
1307
01:09:00,527 --> 01:09:02,747
- I am very clearly the
deadbeat brother, okay?
1308
01:09:02,790 --> 01:09:05,358
Like, believe me when I
tell you there is a taller,
1309
01:09:05,402 --> 01:09:07,621
better looking version of
me out there, who knows how
1310
01:09:07,665 --> 01:09:10,102
to access his bank statement
electronically and has
1311
01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:12,191
money in his account.
1312
01:09:12,235 --> 01:09:16,761
I am the Wayne to the
Wonder Years' Kevin Arnold,
1313
01:09:16,804 --> 01:09:17,501
okay?
1314
01:09:17,544 --> 01:09:19,024
[laughing]
1315
01:09:19,067 --> 01:09:21,331
- [Voiceover] You've reached
Mary, please leave a message.
- Shit.
1316
01:09:21,374 --> 01:09:24,464
- Okay guys, give me your
cards, your intro cards.
1317
01:09:24,508 --> 01:09:28,164
Good, good, okay,
hey where's yours?
1318
01:09:28,207 --> 01:09:29,121
Come on--
1319
01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:30,209
- I'm not ready.
1320
01:09:30,253 --> 01:09:31,471
- Stage fright?
1321
01:09:31,515 --> 01:09:32,646
- No, please, just
let a few more go.
1322
01:09:32,690 --> 01:09:37,347
[calm indie music]
1323
01:09:56,496 --> 01:10:00,239
- [Voiceover] You've reached
Mary, please leave a message.
1324
01:10:00,631 --> 01:10:03,590
- There's this group of people
who got together to save
1325
01:10:03,634 --> 01:10:06,550
the Hollywood sign to keep
it from getting torn down.
1326
01:10:06,593 --> 01:10:08,987
So they raised millions and
millions of dollars to save
1327
01:10:09,030 --> 01:10:12,773
this sign, and they refer
to themselves as activists.
1328
01:10:12,817 --> 01:10:15,602
So just imagine these
activists talking with other
1329
01:10:15,646 --> 01:10:18,431
activists who are doing
real things, like they are
1330
01:10:18,475 --> 01:10:19,737
at a party, and they're like,
1331
01:10:19,780 --> 01:10:21,826
"I just got back from
Darfur where we provided
1332
01:10:21,869 --> 01:10:24,220
"a poor village
with mosquito nets."
1333
01:10:24,263 --> 01:10:26,047
And the Hollywood
activists are like,
1334
01:10:26,091 --> 01:10:28,615
"Yeah, well you see
that sign up there?
1335
01:10:28,659 --> 01:10:30,748
"You're welcome!"
1336
01:10:30,791 --> 01:10:32,489
[audience laughs] Thank
you that's my time.
1337
01:10:32,532 --> 01:10:35,622
[applause]
1338
01:10:35,666 --> 01:10:36,884
- Fantastic, thank
you, oh my god
1339
01:10:36,928 --> 01:10:38,582
I love that Hollywood
sign, though.
1340
01:10:38,625 --> 01:10:39,670
I love that sign.
1341
01:10:39,713 --> 01:10:41,454
[laughing]
1342
01:10:41,498 --> 01:10:42,368
Right?
1343
01:10:42,412 --> 01:10:44,109
- Oh my god, so good
1344
01:10:44,152 --> 01:10:46,720
- Thank you, kill it all right?
1345
01:10:46,764 --> 01:10:49,375
- Okay.
1346
01:10:49,419 --> 01:10:52,248
All right, okay.
1347
01:10:52,813 --> 01:10:55,207
- That's Not My Bra would
not be what it is today
1348
01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:58,558
which is a bonafide,
international
television sensation,
1349
01:10:58,602 --> 01:10:59,864
am I right?
1350
01:10:59,907 --> 01:11:02,170
[applause]
1351
01:11:02,214 --> 01:11:03,476
Right?
1352
01:11:03,520 --> 01:11:05,173
Fantastic, thank
you guys so much,
1353
01:11:05,217 --> 01:11:07,567
give yourselves a round of
applause for supporting me!
1354
01:11:07,611 --> 01:11:08,612
[applause]
1355
01:11:08,655 --> 01:11:09,787
Supporting me!
1356
01:11:09,830 --> 01:11:13,269
[laughs] I love
that Hollywood sign.
1357
01:11:13,660 --> 01:11:14,966
- [Voiceover] You've
reached Mary-- - But he
1358
01:11:15,009 --> 01:11:17,664
is a persistent little
bugger, and he weasled
1359
01:11:17,708 --> 01:11:19,927
his way in here somehow,
so god bless him for that.
1360
01:11:19,971 --> 01:11:24,628
Okay, now, his credits include,
1361
01:11:24,671 --> 01:11:27,761
Comedy Central, yeah?
1362
01:11:27,805 --> 01:11:31,635
Okay, HBO, that's a lie,
that's a bold-faced lie.
1363
01:11:31,678 --> 01:11:35,726
And the upcoming Bob
Newhart tribute, which is
1364
01:11:35,769 --> 01:11:38,381
definitely not upcoming,
so thanks for that.
1365
01:11:38,424 --> 01:11:41,775
Please welcome to the stage,
my old high school friend,
1366
01:11:41,819 --> 01:11:43,386
Homer, okay...
1367
01:11:43,429 --> 01:11:45,301
Homer Cosby.
1368
01:11:45,344 --> 01:11:47,607
Homer Cosby, yeah.
1369
01:11:47,651 --> 01:11:49,130
[applause]
1370
01:11:49,174 --> 01:11:50,828
Oh, here is now.
1371
01:11:50,871 --> 01:11:53,831
Come on, yeah, just needs
a little bit of coaxing.
1372
01:11:53,874 --> 01:11:54,962
Come on.
1373
01:11:55,006 --> 01:11:57,313
[laughs] Good.
1374
01:11:57,356 --> 01:11:58,575
Don't fuck this up man.
1375
01:11:58,618 --> 01:12:01,665
- Don't be an ass man.
1376
01:12:01,708 --> 01:12:02,883
Namaste.
1377
01:12:02,927 --> 01:12:05,190
- Okay, hilarious.
1378
01:12:05,233 --> 01:12:07,758
[laughs]
1379
01:12:10,804 --> 01:12:12,719
[clears throat]
1380
01:12:12,763 --> 01:12:16,027
- Hi.
1381
01:12:24,818 --> 01:12:27,473
[coughs]
1382
01:12:27,517 --> 01:12:30,520
What's going on with
shredded lettuce?
1383
01:12:33,479 --> 01:12:35,176
You order a sandwich
at a sandwich shop,
1384
01:12:35,220 --> 01:12:38,354
and they dump a truck
full of shredded lettuce
1385
01:12:38,397 --> 01:12:41,052
on your sandwich.
1386
01:12:41,095 --> 01:12:44,969
Isn't that ridiculous?
1387
01:12:45,012 --> 01:12:47,624
I don't know.
1388
01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:50,931
Fuck it.
1389
01:12:50,975 --> 01:12:52,585
My uh...
1390
01:12:52,629 --> 01:12:57,634
Dad just told me my mom
left us because of me.
1391
01:13:03,944 --> 01:13:07,774
That's so shitty it's cliche.
1392
01:13:08,819 --> 01:13:10,124
It's like,
1393
01:13:10,168 --> 01:13:13,650
"Hey dad, did you not
want to molest me too?
1394
01:13:13,693 --> 01:13:16,130
"Or did you feel like
that was bad parenting?"
1395
01:13:16,174 --> 01:13:17,349
Like where's your limit?
1396
01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:18,524
[laughing]
1397
01:13:18,568 --> 01:13:20,178
Help me out here,
just as a group,
1398
01:13:20,221 --> 01:13:22,180
if we could just help
stick together on this,
1399
01:13:22,223 --> 01:13:25,836
when are we gonna stop letting
that one friend we all have
1400
01:13:25,879 --> 01:13:27,664
treat us like shit?
1401
01:13:27,707 --> 01:13:30,710
At what point do we
say that's enough?
1402
01:13:30,754 --> 01:13:33,713
Like when I go to the
post office, and I got the
1403
01:13:33,757 --> 01:13:37,848
little claim slip, and
I give it to the guy,
1404
01:13:37,891 --> 01:13:39,502
and he gives me that
look like he wants to
1405
01:13:39,545 --> 01:13:41,765
kill me cause now he's
gotta go do his job and go
1406
01:13:41,808 --> 01:13:45,116
in the back and find
my stupid package.
1407
01:13:45,682 --> 01:13:47,597
When someone gives me that look,
1408
01:13:47,640 --> 01:13:48,902
my response is usually,
1409
01:13:48,946 --> 01:13:51,557
"Best friends forever."
1410
01:13:51,601 --> 01:13:54,081
Like I'm drawn to this.
1411
01:13:54,125 --> 01:13:55,474
I don't know why.
1412
01:13:55,518 --> 01:13:57,694
Why do I keep going
back to that well?
1413
01:13:57,737 --> 01:14:00,131
Cause I think I just want what
everyone else wants in life,
1414
01:14:00,174 --> 01:14:02,786
I just want to be loved, and
I want to love, I just want to
1415
01:14:02,829 --> 01:14:06,920
feel like I belong to
something and to someone.
1416
01:14:08,748 --> 01:14:12,491
You know what I
want is a montage.
1417
01:14:12,535 --> 01:14:15,059
That's what, I want a
romantic movie montage
1418
01:14:15,102 --> 01:14:17,496
for my life, wouldn't
that be great?
1419
01:14:17,540 --> 01:14:19,933
That'd be so cool, like I
just want to be in the park
1420
01:14:19,977 --> 01:14:23,023
at a picnic and lay my head in
her lap, and I wanna giggle...
1421
01:14:23,067 --> 01:14:24,155
[giggles]
1422
01:14:24,198 --> 01:14:26,766
Like how adorable is that?
1423
01:14:26,810 --> 01:14:28,289
Tell me you wouldn't
make love to that.
1424
01:14:28,333 --> 01:14:29,552
[laughing]
1425
01:14:29,595 --> 01:14:31,249
That's adorable.
1426
01:14:31,292 --> 01:14:34,600
I want a montage, I want a
montage of us buying t-shirts
1427
01:14:34,644 --> 01:14:37,298
together and painting a house,
and Joseph Gordon-Levitt
1428
01:14:37,342 --> 01:14:39,518
shows up and pats me on
the back and tells me I'm,
1429
01:14:39,562 --> 01:14:41,520
"Kicking ass."
1430
01:14:41,564 --> 01:14:43,522
And she's the one girl
that's not attracted to him,
1431
01:14:43,566 --> 01:14:45,176
cause she's attracted to me.
1432
01:14:45,219 --> 01:14:46,046
[laughing]
1433
01:14:46,090 --> 01:14:48,875
And I just want to say,
"In your face Jo Jo."
1434
01:14:48,919 --> 01:14:49,876
[laughing]
1435
01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:52,662
That's what I would like.
1436
01:14:52,705 --> 01:14:55,621
That would be great,
a little montage.
1437
01:14:56,013 --> 01:14:58,232
I almost had one, this close,
I don't know if they exist,
1438
01:14:58,276 --> 01:15:01,497
but we were this close.
1439
01:15:04,761 --> 01:15:06,240
I don't know what happened,
it didn't turn out the way
1440
01:15:06,284 --> 01:15:08,895
I thought it would.
1441
01:15:08,939 --> 01:15:10,680
But...
1442
01:15:10,723 --> 01:15:12,290
Who knows where we are now.
1443
01:15:12,333 --> 01:15:16,599
I don't know, I'm here, she's...
1444
01:15:17,730 --> 01:15:20,864
I don't know.
1445
01:15:22,822 --> 01:15:26,391
Damn it, you know.
1446
01:15:27,523 --> 01:15:29,220
I just need to...
1447
01:15:29,263 --> 01:15:30,961
I need to grow a spine.
1448
01:15:31,004 --> 01:15:33,572
Like I got a weak, shitty spine.
1449
01:15:33,616 --> 01:15:35,879
And I need to grow a
new spine over the weak,
1450
01:15:35,922 --> 01:15:37,576
old, like just put
it right there.
1451
01:15:37,620 --> 01:15:39,186
The problem is I'm
a little fatter now
1452
01:15:39,230 --> 01:15:41,406
than when I first got my
spine, so I'm sure this new
1453
01:15:41,449 --> 01:15:43,539
spine's gonna be too big, it's
gonna like cover the other
1454
01:15:43,582 --> 01:15:45,715
one, it's gonna like hang
down it's gonna look like
1455
01:15:45,758 --> 01:15:47,455
I have a tail [laughing]
1456
01:15:47,499 --> 01:15:48,718
or something.
1457
01:15:48,761 --> 01:15:50,458
I don't know, that would
actually be kinda cool
1458
01:15:50,502 --> 01:15:52,199
if you had a tail.
1459
01:15:52,243 --> 01:15:55,594
"Oh my god, Jessica, I'm dating
this great guy right now.
1460
01:15:55,638 --> 01:15:57,727
"He's so funny, he has
great hair, he's loving,
1461
01:15:57,770 --> 01:16:00,381
"and kind, and he giggles."
1462
01:16:00,425 --> 01:16:02,079
"What, that sounds perfect."
1463
01:16:02,122 --> 01:16:03,994
"Yeah, and he has a tail."
1464
01:16:04,037 --> 01:16:05,648
"A what, a tail?
1465
01:16:05,691 --> 01:16:07,693
"Like he's got a story,
like a backstory?
1466
01:16:07,737 --> 01:16:09,652
"Like a tale to tell?"
1467
01:16:09,695 --> 01:16:12,698
"No, he's got a fucking tail.
1468
01:16:12,742 --> 01:16:13,786
"Like a...
1469
01:16:13,830 --> 01:16:16,180
"It hits me in the face."
1470
01:16:16,223 --> 01:16:18,530
"Ew."
1471
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,576
Cut to me in the corner
just wagging my tail.
1472
01:16:20,619 --> 01:16:22,665
"Hi, I'll take a biscuit."
1473
01:16:22,708 --> 01:16:24,014
[laughing]
1474
01:16:24,057 --> 01:16:26,277
I was so depressed, I
couldn't get off the couch.
1475
01:16:26,320 --> 01:16:28,540
Someone once told me
that two depressed people
1476
01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:30,847
shouldn't end up
together, they shouldn't.
1477
01:16:30,890 --> 01:16:33,414
I said, "Why not?"
1478
01:16:33,458 --> 01:16:34,851
We could both be
together, we could both
1479
01:16:34,894 --> 01:16:39,246
grow new excessive spines
together, we could be happy,
1480
01:16:39,290 --> 01:16:40,987
we could have tails.
1481
01:16:41,031 --> 01:16:42,598
[laughing]
1482
01:16:42,641 --> 01:16:44,338
Just each other.
1483
01:16:44,382 --> 01:16:48,604
That would be great, then
we could have our montage.
1484
01:16:48,647 --> 01:16:51,258
You know, like look I get it,
I'm not Matthew McConaughey,
1485
01:16:51,302 --> 01:16:53,086
okay it's not gonna be a
Matthew McConaughey montage.
1486
01:16:53,130 --> 01:16:56,873
He has washboard
abs, I have this.
1487
01:16:56,916 --> 01:16:57,961
[laughing]
1488
01:16:58,004 --> 01:16:59,440
I ate Matthew McConaughey.
1489
01:16:59,484 --> 01:17:01,660
[laughing]
1490
01:17:01,704 --> 01:17:04,402
- Okay, hilarious,
hilarious, Homer Cosby
1491
01:17:04,445 --> 01:17:06,578
ladies and germs,
Homer Cosby here.
1492
01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:10,451
Yeah, okay, whoa.
1493
01:17:10,495 --> 01:17:14,412
Fun, that's fun, okay you
guys seem to like his material
1494
01:17:14,455 --> 01:17:16,327
for the most part huh?
1495
01:17:16,370 --> 01:17:19,678
Okay, anyway, that's
cool, not jealous.
1496
01:17:19,722 --> 01:17:21,854
Listen, that's gonna
be the end of our
1497
01:17:21,898 --> 01:17:23,726
entertainment for the
evening, I'm gonna confirm
1498
01:17:23,769 --> 01:17:24,683
with the judges...
1499
01:17:24,727 --> 01:17:29,645
[somber piano]
1500
01:18:01,633 --> 01:18:03,809
- Excuse me, do you have
any Snicker flavored lattes?
1501
01:18:03,853 --> 01:18:06,029
- I'm sorry?
1502
01:18:06,072 --> 01:18:08,684
- [chuckles] Hi.
1503
01:18:08,727 --> 01:18:10,424
- Hi.
1504
01:18:10,468 --> 01:18:12,688
- Wow.
1505
01:18:12,731 --> 01:18:15,473
I waited a long time
to run into you.
1506
01:18:15,516 --> 01:18:17,388
I went to the vampire's house,
she said you weren't there,
1507
01:18:17,431 --> 01:18:19,216
I think she was
covering for you.
1508
01:18:19,259 --> 01:18:21,218
She turned into a
bat and flew away.
1509
01:18:21,261 --> 01:18:24,395
[chuckles]
1510
01:18:24,438 --> 01:18:25,831
You look great.
1511
01:18:25,875 --> 01:18:28,747
- Thank you.
1512
01:18:29,487 --> 01:18:31,663
- [Homer] How long
you worked here?
1513
01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:33,970
- Six months.
1514
01:18:34,622 --> 01:18:37,625
Actually, saving up for classes.
1515
01:18:37,669 --> 01:18:38,714
- Really?
1516
01:18:38,757 --> 01:18:40,672
- Architecture school.
1517
01:18:40,716 --> 01:18:43,893
- Look at you, that's great.
1518
01:18:44,458 --> 01:18:46,591
- Excuse me.
1519
01:18:46,634 --> 01:18:47,723
Can I order, or...
1520
01:18:47,766 --> 01:18:50,290
- Just one minute.
1521
01:18:51,727 --> 01:18:54,686
I never got a chance
to say thanks.
1522
01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:55,818
- It's okay.
1523
01:18:55,861 --> 01:18:58,734
- No, it's not.
1524
01:18:58,777 --> 01:19:01,649
Thank you.
1525
01:19:02,085 --> 01:19:04,522
- What have you been up to?
1526
01:19:04,565 --> 01:19:06,611
- Working on my own show.
1527
01:19:06,654 --> 01:19:08,613
Got my own place, my own dog.
1528
01:19:08,656 --> 01:19:09,788
- Hey is there a
manager or someone else
1529
01:19:09,832 --> 01:19:10,615
that can take an order?
1530
01:19:10,658 --> 01:19:11,790
I just want a coffee.
1531
01:19:11,834 --> 01:19:12,748
- Seriously dude?
1532
01:19:12,791 --> 01:19:13,966
- Yeah, seriously.
1533
01:19:14,010 --> 01:19:16,752
- Seriously, I'm in
the middle of ordering.
1534
01:19:17,361 --> 01:19:19,798
I will order in a moment.
1535
01:19:19,842 --> 01:19:21,408
- I should probably help him.
1536
01:19:21,452 --> 01:19:22,758
- [Homer] Yeah, you're
gonna get in trouble.
1537
01:19:22,801 --> 01:19:25,761
I'm sorry, I should go too.
1538
01:19:26,196 --> 01:19:28,285
- Do you want a coffee?
1539
01:19:28,328 --> 01:19:30,722
- Yeah.
1540
01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:31,592
- Good to see you.
1541
01:19:31,636 --> 01:19:34,682
- It was good to see you.
1542
01:19:36,859 --> 01:19:39,905
Hi.
1543
01:19:49,567 --> 01:19:52,265
[breathes deeply]
1544
01:19:54,746 --> 01:19:56,748
- Who was that guy?
1545
01:19:56,792 --> 01:19:59,620
- Just some guy I
knew for three weeks
1546
01:19:59,664 --> 01:20:00,970
a long time ago.
1547
01:20:01,013 --> 01:20:04,800
- Well, he left you a huge tip.
1548
01:20:18,161 --> 01:20:19,858
- You're crazy.
1549
01:20:19,902 --> 01:20:22,339
- We had a deal.
1550
01:20:22,382 --> 01:20:23,383
- Did you even win?
1551
01:20:23,427 --> 01:20:25,472
- It doesn't matter.
1552
01:20:25,516 --> 01:20:27,866
Just take the money,
go get your degree.
1553
01:20:27,910 --> 01:20:29,302
It's not gonna pay for
all your schooling,
1554
01:20:29,346 --> 01:20:30,782
but it'll help.
1555
01:20:30,826 --> 01:20:32,131
I want to see your
buildings populate this
1556
01:20:32,175 --> 01:20:34,568
entire city.
1557
01:20:34,612 --> 01:20:37,615
You gotta make it happen, right?
1558
01:20:37,658 --> 01:20:40,313
- Thank you.
1559
01:20:40,357 --> 01:20:43,621
- You're welcome.
1560
01:21:09,908 --> 01:21:11,562
That was a long shift.
1561
01:21:11,605 --> 01:21:13,346
- What are you still doing here?
1562
01:21:13,390 --> 01:21:15,827
- I'm not gonna leave.
1563
01:21:15,871 --> 01:21:19,831
I'm not gonna be miserable,
and I'm not gonna leave.
1564
01:21:19,875 --> 01:21:21,398
I came back to ask you
something I should've
1565
01:21:21,441 --> 01:21:24,705
asked a very long time ago.
1566
01:21:29,754 --> 01:21:39,764
[A Simple Thing by
Freddie and Francine]
103989
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