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1
00:00:00,541 --> 00:00:02,171
YO, DIG THIS.
2
00:00:02,173 --> 00:00:04,803
♪ EUGENE GURKIN
WAS A JANITOR ♪
3
00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:07,795
♪ CLEANING TOILETS
FOR THE MAN ♪
4
00:00:07,798 --> 00:00:09,718
(woman)
♪ SCRUBBIN' AND FLUSHIN' ♪
5
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:13,050
♪ TILL HE DECIDED
THAT HE HAD ENOUGH ♪
6
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,444
♪ GOT A CREW
AND MADE A PLAN ♪
7
00:00:15,436 --> 00:00:17,936
♪ NOW THEY'RE THE... ♪
♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪
8
00:00:17,938 --> 00:00:20,598
♪ ROBBIN' FROM THE RICH
TO GIVE TO THEMSELVES ♪
9
00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:22,641
♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪
10
00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:24,823
WE THE KNIGHTS, BABY.
11
00:00:27,608 --> 00:00:30,528
HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
I HEREBY CALL TO ORDER
12
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,071
THIS OFFICIAL MEETING
OF THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY.
13
00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,624
A POINT OF BUSINESS
BEFORE WE GET STARTED.
GO AHEAD,
GOURISHANKAR.
14
00:00:35,616 --> 00:00:37,246
I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE
15
00:00:37,248 --> 00:00:39,328
THAT NEXT TIME WHEN
WE GO TO ROB MICK JAGGER,
16
00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:42,710
INSTEAD OF WOOL SKI MASKS,
WE WEAR THESE.
17
00:00:42,713 --> 00:00:45,383
AH! MY SKIN CAN BREATHE.
18
00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:48,376
YOU LOOK AS IF RINGO STARR
WALKED INTO A SLIDING DOOR.
19
00:00:48,379 --> 00:00:50,089
OKAY, MOVING ON.
TOMORROW MORNING, 9:00 A.M.
20
00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:51,971
ROCKEFELLER WILL ENTER
MICK JAGGER'S APARTMENT
21
00:00:51,972 --> 00:00:53,472
TO START HIS NEW JOB
22
00:00:53,474 --> 00:00:57,354
AS SECURITY GUARD
REGINALD VAN HOOGSTRATTEN.
(whistles)
23
00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,638
FINALLY GIVE US
AN OPPORTUNITY
24
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,680
TO CASE THE JOINT
FROM THE INSIDE.
25
00:01:01,682 --> 00:01:04,322
NOW I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY
TO MAKE UP A LIST OF 20 THINGS
26
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,815
THAT I WANT YOU TO KEEP
A PARTICULAR EYE ON
27
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:10,027
AND FIND OUT ABOUT ONCE
YOU'RE INSIDE THE APARTMENT.
28
00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:12,030
THESE ARE...
WHO ERASED MY LIST?
29
00:01:12,032 --> 00:01:15,202
I THINK
WE KNOW WHO DID THIS.
I DIDN'T DO IT.
30
00:01:15,196 --> 00:01:17,696
OKAY. NOT IMPORTANT. MOVING ON.
THESE ARE THE THREE BIGGIES
31
00:01:17,698 --> 00:01:20,328
I WANT YOU
TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR, OKAY?
32
00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:22,541
ONE--WHAT ARE THE VALUABLES?
WHERE ARE THEY KEPT?
33
00:01:22,543 --> 00:01:24,593
TWO--WHERE ARE ALL
THE ENTRANCES AND EXITS?
34
00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,165
AND THREE--WHAT ARE
THE COMINGS AND GOINGS
35
00:01:27,168 --> 00:01:29,088
OF THE GUARDS, MICK
AND HIS HOUSEBOY, NATH PRAN?
36
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,419
CONSIDER IT DONE.
37
00:01:30,421 --> 00:01:32,841
I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A THUMB.
38
00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,773
I DIDN'T DO IT!
39
00:01:36,677 --> 00:01:39,677
(cell phone rings)
40
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,680
IT'S ROCKEFELLER.
OOH, ASK HIM WHAT
IT'S LIKE IN THERE.
41
00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:44,443
HIT ME, BROTHER BUTTS.
42
00:01:44,435 --> 00:01:47,025
EUGENE, WE GOT A FLY
IN THE OINTMENT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
43
00:01:47,027 --> 00:01:49,227
I DIDN'T GET ASSIGNED
TO MICK JAGGER.
WHAT?
44
00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:51,820
GOTTA GO.
45
00:01:51,822 --> 00:01:53,902
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?
46
00:01:53,904 --> 00:01:56,914
YOU'RE GONNA
CREATE A MOB SCENE.
WELL, THEY TOLD ME
YOU SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED
47
00:01:56,907 --> 00:01:58,827
THAT "SCREECH"
BE ON THE SIGN.
48
00:01:58,829 --> 00:02:00,909
THE NAME'S DUSTIN DIAMOND.
SCREECH IS A CHARACTER
49
00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:04,671
I PLAYED ON "SAVED BY THE BELL,"
WHAT, TEN YEARS AGO?
OH. SORRY, MR. DIAMOND.
50
00:02:04,665 --> 00:02:06,165
IT'S OKAY.
CALL ME SCREECH.
51
00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,377
HEY, CHECK OUT THIS STUFF
I ORDERED FROM SkyMall.
52
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:11,919
NOT HERE.
I'M TOO EXPOSED.
53
00:02:11,922 --> 00:02:14,642
(man over P.A.)
...FLIGHT 143 FROM PHOENIX.
54
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,635
THIS SUCKS! WE WORKED
SO HARD TO GET HIM THE JOB.
55
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,968
HE GETS THE JOB, AND HE'S NOT
EVEN ASSIGNED TO MICK JAGGER.
IT JUST AIN'T RIGHT.
56
00:02:20,971 --> 00:02:22,641
WHAT WE GONNA DO?
57
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,483
LET'S NOT GET CRAZY,
AND LET'S THINK.
58
00:02:25,476 --> 00:02:26,936
WHAT DO WE KNOW?
59
00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:29,107
WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
SCREECH SOUNDS LIKE
60
00:02:29,109 --> 00:02:31,819
A CRAZY CRACK-A-LACKIN'
MAMA JAMA!
61
00:02:31,822 --> 00:02:33,692
NOT EVEN CLOSE, SON.
ALL RIGHT.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
62
00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:35,494
FORGET ABOUT SCREECH.
63
00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:38,326
WHAT'D YOU LEARN
ABOUT BURTON SECURITY?
WELL, THEY GOT
DIFFERENT TEAMS
64
00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:39,739
ASSIGNED
TO DIFFERENT CELEBRITIES.
65
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,660
I'M THE FLOATER,
SO THEY PUT ME WHEREVER
66
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,742
THEY NEED ME UNTIL
A PERMANENT JOB OPENS UP.
67
00:02:43,744 --> 00:02:46,924
BUT THAT CAN
TAKE MONTHS, YEARS!
OKAY, WHICH IS WHY TOMORROW
YOU'RE GONNA MARCH INTO
68
00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,417
YOUR SUPERVISOR'S OFFICE
AND SAY,
69
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:49,999
"I DON'T WANT BE A FLOATER
NO MORE."
70
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,290
AND WHEN HE ASKS YOU WHERE
YOU'D LIKE TO BE ASSIGNED,
71
00:02:53,294 --> 00:02:55,304
SAY--AND ACT VERY CASUAL
WHEN YOU DO THIS--
72
00:02:55,296 --> 00:02:57,556
SAY, "UH, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE... HMM... MICK JAGGER?"
73
00:02:57,558 --> 00:02:59,888
OKAY? DO THAT.
BUT I'VE ONLY
BEEN THERE ONE DAY.
74
00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:01,890
ROCKEFELLER,
AS A GENTLEMAN WHO WORKS
75
00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:03,892
IN A JEWISH SUPPLY WAREHOUSE,
76
00:03:03,894 --> 00:03:06,314
CERTAINLY YOU'RE FAMILIAR
WITH THE TERM "CHUTZPAH."
77
00:03:06,307 --> 00:03:08,647
SOMETHING DON'T SOUND
RIGHT THERE.
ALL RIGHT.
78
00:03:08,649 --> 00:03:11,359
THIS IS ABOUT
GRABBING OUR DESTINY.
GRABBING DESTINY.
79
00:03:11,362 --> 00:03:13,482
THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
I CAN DO THIS.
80
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:14,994
YOU CAN DO THIS.
I CAN DO THIS.
81
00:03:14,985 --> 00:03:16,695
I GOT CHUTZPAH.
I GOT CHUTZPAH!
82
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,817
I GOT CHUTZPAH!
I GOT CHUTZPAH!
83
00:03:18,819 --> 00:03:21,119
(man) WHO THE HELL
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!
84
00:03:21,121 --> 00:03:23,781
YOU HAVE SOME SET
OF ROYAL BRASS STONES
85
00:03:23,784 --> 00:03:26,134
TO COME IN HERE
AFTER ONE DAY
86
00:03:26,126 --> 00:03:28,786
AND ASK TO BE A PERMIE.
87
00:03:28,789 --> 00:03:31,039
WHO THE HELL
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!
88
00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:34,041
DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG
I WAS A FLOATER?! SIX YEARS!
89
00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:38,514
YES, SIR. I-I'M SORRY.
I-I THOUGHT--
GET OUT OF HERE,
VAN HOOGSTRATTEN!
90
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:41,139
NOW!
ALL RIGHT, YEAH. OKAY.
91
00:03:41,141 --> 00:03:44,401
(woman)
FRANK CORTLAND'S OFFICE.
92
00:03:44,395 --> 00:03:47,055
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT,
FLOATER?
93
00:03:47,057 --> 00:03:50,607
(moans)
94
00:03:50,611 --> 00:03:52,111
SOUNDS LIKE YOU MET
95
00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:53,982
THE ONE AND ONLY
FRANK CORTLAND.
96
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:57,074
MAN, I'D LIKE TO PUT
THAT GUY THROUGH A JUICER.
97
00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:59,817
WE ALL WOULD.
RALPH CARNUCCI.
98
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,360
ROCKEFELL--UH, SORRY.
99
00:04:01,362 --> 00:04:05,082
I CAN'T GET THAT DAMN SONG
OUT OF MY HEAD. UH...
100
00:04:05,075 --> 00:04:07,785
♪ COME, LET'S MIX
WITH ROCKEFELLERS ♪
101
00:04:07,788 --> 00:04:09,918
♪ WALK WITH STICKS
OR UM-BU-RELLAS ♪
102
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,370
♪ IN THEIR MIDST, MM, MM,
PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ ♪
103
00:04:12,373 --> 00:04:14,303
REGINALD VAN HOOGSTRATTEN.
104
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,875
I WAS A FLOATER
FOR THREE YEARS.
105
00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:18,377
IT SUCKS.
106
00:04:18,379 --> 00:04:20,549
I ONCE HAD TO TAKE
BETTE MIDLER'S DACHSHUND
107
00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,381
TO THE SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL.
108
00:04:22,383 --> 00:04:25,563
WHO YOU ASSIGNED TO NOW?
MICK JAGGER.
109
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,846
WORKING HIS APARTMENT--
110
00:04:27,848 --> 00:04:29,348
(Frank) LET'S GO, CARNUCCI!
111
00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:32,850
WITH MR. SUNSHINE.
SEE YOU AROUND.
112
00:04:32,853 --> 00:04:36,533
♪ DRESSED UP LIKE
A MILLION DOLLAR TROUPER ♪
113
00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:38,527
WHAT DID I TELL YOU,
ROCKEFELLER?
114
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:42,199
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF,
AND MAGIC HAPPENS.
115
00:04:42,202 --> 00:04:44,202
EUGENE,
THE MAN CHEWED MY ASS OFF.
116
00:04:44,204 --> 00:04:46,174
YOU SEE UNDER HERE?
NO ASS.
117
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:48,326
A SMALL PRICE TO PAY,
BECAUSE YOU DELIVERED US
118
00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,829
THE GOLDEN TICKET
TO THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY,
119
00:04:50,831 --> 00:04:52,711
AND HIS NAME
IS RALPH CARNUCCI.
120
00:04:52,713 --> 00:04:56,263
OKAY, SO WHAT
DO WE DO NOW?
WE BEFRIEND THE GUY.
WE ENGAGE HIM IN SOME LAUGHS,
121
00:04:56,256 --> 00:04:58,256
AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
HE'LL SPILL
122
00:04:58,258 --> 00:05:01,838
ALL KINDS OF USEFUL INFO
BEFORE HE EVEN KNEW HE DID IT.
123
00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:03,922
HOW DO WE BEFRIEND
RALPH CARNUCCI?
UH, KARAOKE NIGHT.
124
00:05:03,924 --> 00:05:06,934
WE CONCENTRATE ON THE DUETS.
YOU SING "ISLANDS IN THE STREAM"
125
00:05:06,927 --> 00:05:10,347
WITH A GUY,
AND TRUST ME--BONDING HAPPENS.
126
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,641
(Eugene) OKAY,
ANYONE ELSE WITH ANY IDEAS?
127
00:05:12,643 --> 00:05:14,743
LET'S TAKE HIM
TO A STRIP CLUB.
128
00:05:14,735 --> 00:05:16,815
NOTHING GETS A GUY TALKING
LIKE BOOZE AND BOOBS.
129
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,437
GARY, THERE'S A LADY PRESENT.
130
00:05:18,439 --> 00:05:20,489
HE'S RIGHT. THESE THINGS
WORK LIKE TRUTH SERUM.
131
00:05:20,491 --> 00:05:24,111
LOOK, I LIKE THE HANKY MANANKY
AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY,
132
00:05:24,114 --> 00:05:25,754
UNLESS THE NEXT GUY,
OF COURSE, IS GARY.
133
00:05:25,746 --> 00:05:28,656
BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S
THE PROPER SETTING TO ENGAGE
134
00:05:28,659 --> 00:05:30,949
IN CASUAL CONVERSATION.
ANYONE ELSE? ANYONE ELSE?
135
00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:33,121
HOW ABOUT
WE GO TO A STRIP CLUB?
136
00:05:33,123 --> 00:05:36,173
I JUST REJECTED THAT!
I MEAN NOW.
MIGHT HELP US THINK.
137
00:05:36,166 --> 00:05:39,166
I GOT IT. ROCKEFELLER SAYS
HE'S GOT AN OPEN SEAT
138
00:05:39,169 --> 00:05:42,299
IN HIS WEEKLY POKER GAME.
THAT POKER GAME IS US.
139
00:05:42,302 --> 00:05:45,472
WE PLAY CARDS WITH HIM...
HAVE LAUGHS...
140
00:05:45,466 --> 00:05:48,176
ENGAGE IN CASUAL CONVERSATION
ABOUT HIS WORK,
141
00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:51,018
AND, SQUATCH, BAM!
THAT'S BRILLIANT!
142
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,681
YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN HIT US
WITH YOUR GENIUS STICK.
143
00:05:53,684 --> 00:05:57,984
THAT'S U.S.A., ONE,
AND INDIA, ZERO!
144
00:05:57,978 --> 00:05:59,978
I'LL BE AT FLASHDANCERS.
145
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,489
(Eugene) RIGHT-O.
EXCELLENT. ALL RIGHT.
146
00:06:10,491 --> 00:06:12,991
RALPH AND ROCKEFELLER
ARE ON THEIR WAY UP, OKAY?
147
00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:16,173
SO BEFORE THEY GET HERE,
UH, LOUIS, GET OUT THE BOOZE.
148
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:18,666
ALL RIGHT? THAT WILL HELP
LUBRICATE THE INFORMATION FLOW.
149
00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:20,169
UH, AND EVERYBODY,
REMEMBER,
150
00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:23,340
ROCKEFELLER'S NAME IS
REGINALD VAN HOOGSTRATTEN, OKAY?
151
00:06:23,343 --> 00:06:26,223
WHAT ABOUT US?
DON'T WE NEED FAKE NAMES, TOO?
152
00:06:26,216 --> 00:06:28,096
OH, GOOD POINT.
UH, ALL RIGHT. I'M BERNIE.
153
00:06:28,098 --> 00:06:30,678
MADONNA.
SKIPPER.
154
00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,221
SKIPPER--THAT IS THE STUPIDEST
NAME I EVER HEARD.
155
00:06:32,222 --> 00:06:34,012
OH, YEAH, WHAT DO YOU GOT?
MIKE.
156
00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:36,364
HEY, YO.
157
00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:38,816
WAIT, GUYS, UH,
I STILL DON'T HAVE A FAKE NAME.
158
00:06:38,819 --> 00:06:41,479
HEY, UH, THIS IS RALPH.
UH, HARRISON--
THAT'S MY LAST NAME.
159
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:43,232
NO, I-I CAN'T THINK
OF A FIRST NAME.
HOW YOU DOIN'?
160
00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:46,033
HEY, RALPH, HI. HEY. BERNIE.
BERNIE, HOW ARE YOU?
161
00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:47,866
MADONNA.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
162
00:06:47,868 --> 00:06:50,658
HI, I'M MIKE,
AND THIS IS SKIPPER.
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
163
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,661
AND YOU ARE?
164
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,883
EUGENE.
165
00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:57,665
HUH. WELL,
IT'S NICE MEETING YOU ALL.
(Rockefeller) YEAH.
166
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,918
(Eugene) YEAH, YEAH. LIKEWISE.
LIKEWISE, YEAH.
(pager beeps)
167
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,420
I GOTTA MEET SCREECH
AT A COMEDY CLUB.
168
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,012
PLIGHT OF A FLOATER.
169
00:07:05,005 --> 00:07:07,305
HEY, COME ON.
IT'S TEQUILA TIME, HUH?
170
00:07:07,307 --> 00:07:10,547
(chuckles) RALPH, YOU, UH,
YOU WITH ME, BUDDY?
171
00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:14,691
AAH! WHOO-HOO! OH, IT'S LIKE
BEING ON THE STREETS OF TIJUANA.
172
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,855
(chuckles)
173
00:07:16,857 --> 00:07:20,817
(Gary) OKAY, COWBOYS. THE NAME
OF THE GAME IS 7-CARD STUD.
174
00:07:20,821 --> 00:07:24,871
2s, 3s, 4s, 5s, 6s
AND 7s ARE WILD.
175
00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:26,065
WHAT IS THIS,
POKER OR GO FISH?
176
00:07:26,066 --> 00:07:28,446
OKAY, NO WILD CARDS.
177
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,448
SO, UH,
REGINALD TELLS US
178
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,200
YOU DO A LITTLE SECURITY WORK
FOR MICK JAGGER.
179
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,372
FOR A FEW YEARS NOW.
180
00:07:34,374 --> 00:07:36,544
HMM. YOU KNOW WHAT
I ALWAYS WONDERED?
181
00:07:36,537 --> 00:07:39,037
DO THOSE GUYS EAT
WITH, UH, REAL SILVERWARE?
182
00:07:39,039 --> 00:07:41,249
YOU KNOW, THE--LIKE,
THE REAL SILVER KIND,
183
00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:43,251
LIKE, ACTUAL REAL SILVER?
184
00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:45,723
WELL, I REALLY
DON'T EAT WITH THEM, SO...
185
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,386
'COURSE NOT.
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, BERNIE.
186
00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:49,387
HE CAN'T EAT
WITH MICK JAGGER
187
00:07:49,389 --> 00:07:51,389
BECAUSE HE'S TOO BUSY
GUARDING THINGS
188
00:07:51,391 --> 00:07:55,361
LIKE ALL THE EXPENSIVE PAINTINGS
THAT MUST BE ON THE WALLS, HUH?
189
00:07:55,355 --> 00:07:57,145
(Ralph)
YEAH, WELL, SORT OF.
190
00:07:57,147 --> 00:07:59,017
THERE ARE EXPENSIVE PAINTINGS
ON THE WALL?
191
00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:01,309
WE DON'T REALLY EAT
WITH THE CLIENT IS WHAT I MEANT.
192
00:08:01,311 --> 00:08:03,901
BUT THE SILVERWARE'S
REAL SILVER, RIGHT?
193
00:08:03,904 --> 00:08:06,454
PROBABLY. I GUESS.
I-I REALLY DON'T KNOW.
194
00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:08,988
HMM.
195
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,949
THE ROOM IS SPINNING.
196
00:08:10,951 --> 00:08:13,411
GO BACK TO SLEEP, IRENE.
197
00:08:13,413 --> 00:08:14,793
OKAY.
198
00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,995
(horns honking in distance)
199
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,790
HEY, BIG GUY.
MY SET'S ABOUT 40 MINUTES,
200
00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:25,053
COULD GET UP TO 55, YOU KNOW,
GIVEN THE LAUGH SPREAD.
201
00:08:25,045 --> 00:08:27,505
OKAY, ONCE I'M OFFSTAGE,
YOU GOTTA GET ME OUT
202
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,047
THROUGH THE BACK
OF THE KITCHEN--NO STOPPING.
203
00:08:30,050 --> 00:08:32,390
IF THE CROWD GETS ME, I'LL BE
YAKKING WITH THEM FOREVER.
204
00:08:32,392 --> 00:08:35,022
YES, MR. SCREECH.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
205
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,015
HE SCREECHED HIS WAY
INTO YOUR HEARTS
206
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,847
ON "SAVED BY THE BELL."
207
00:08:38,849 --> 00:08:40,639
HERE HE IS--
JUSTIN DIAMOND!
208
00:08:40,641 --> 00:08:44,021
(scattered applause)
209
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,574
(microphone feedback whines)
210
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,236
(indistinct conversations)
211
00:08:47,237 --> 00:08:49,197
SO A HORSE WALKS
INTO A WHOREHOUSE...
212
00:08:49,199 --> 00:08:50,489
$3.
213
00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:53,150
ARE YOU BLUFFING?
214
00:08:53,153 --> 00:08:55,163
I THINK YOU ARE BLUFFING.
ARE YOU BLUFFING?
215
00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:57,575
I'M NOT BLUFFING.
216
00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,658
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD
SAY IF YOU WERE BLUFFING.
217
00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:03,711
I DID NOT SWING OUT OF A TREE
YESTERDAY, MY FRIEND. HA.
218
00:09:03,714 --> 00:09:05,674
I CALL.
219
00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:07,216
THREE KINGS.
220
00:09:07,217 --> 00:09:08,467
(shouts in Hindi)
221
00:09:08,468 --> 00:09:11,548
SURPRISE, SURPRISE.
WEALTHY BOY WINS AGAIN.
222
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,881
LISTEN, GUYS, I GOTTA BE AT WORK
TOMORROW AT 6:00 A.M.
223
00:09:13,884 --> 00:09:16,524
WHOA.
THOSE ARE YOUR NORMAL HOURS?
NORMAL HOURS?
224
00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:19,556
MY HOURS ARE WHATEVER MY HITLER
BOSS DECIDES TO MAKE 'EM.
225
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,059
OH. WE'VE ALL HAD OUR SHARE
OF CRAPPY BOSSES, HUH?
226
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,562
NOT LIKE THIS DUDE. THE ONLY
THING I LIKE ABOUT THIS GUY
227
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,784
IS THAT I KNOW ONE DAY
HE WILL DIE.
228
00:09:26,777 --> 00:09:28,567
IS THERE A BATHROOM
AROUND HERE?
229
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:32,068
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
RIGHT BACK THAT WAY.
230
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,542
WE'VE GOT NOTHING
FROM THIS CABRóN.
AND HE TOOK ALL OUR MONEY.
231
00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:37,535
SILLY ME. I THOUGHT
IF I ROBBED MICK JAGGER,
232
00:09:37,537 --> 00:09:39,827
IF I ROBBED MICK JAGGER, I WOULD
HAVE MORE MONEY, NOT LESS.
233
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,460
WE CAN TURN THIS GUY.
SAY WHAT?
234
00:09:42,462 --> 00:09:45,382
WE SHOULD ASK HIM
TO HELP US ROB MICK.
I THINK YOUR JANITOR WORK
235
00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:47,415
HAS CAUSED YOU TO INHALE
TOO MANY CLEANING CHEMICALS.
236
00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:49,587
DID YOU SEE
THE LOOK ON HIS FACE
237
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,669
WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT
HOW MUCH HE HATED HIS BOSS?
238
00:09:52,673 --> 00:09:55,933
I'M TELLING YA, FOR THE RIGHT
PRICE, THIS GUY WILL HELP US.
AND HOW DO WE
EVEN APPROACH THIS?
239
00:09:55,926 --> 00:09:58,926
DO WE WAIT FOR HIM TO COME OUT
AND ASK HIM, "HEY, CAN YOU
240
00:09:58,929 --> 00:10:02,479
PLEASE PASS THOSE CHIPS
AND HELP US ROB MICK JAGGER?"
NO. I'LL DO IT ALONE,
AND I'LL DO IT GINGERLY,
241
00:10:02,482 --> 00:10:04,482
LIKE A COUGAR STALKING
ITS UNSUSPECTING PREY.
242
00:10:04,484 --> 00:10:07,494
IF I FEEL LIKE HE'S NOT GOING
FOR IT, I'LL PULL BACK,
243
00:10:07,487 --> 00:10:09,857
BUT IF HE DOES, THEN--
244
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,860
THE TOILET PAPER'S
GOT MENORAHS ON IT.
245
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:14,872
FELT A LITTLE WEIRD.
OH, YEAH. BEEN THERE,
DONE THAT, CHIEF.
246
00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:17,535
HEY, RALPH, HAVE YOU, UH, SEEN
THE VIEW OF THE CITY FROM HERE?
247
00:10:17,537 --> 00:10:19,407
UH, NO, DIDN'T SEE IT.
248
00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:20,909
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
249
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:23,581
YOU GOTTA CHECK IT OUT
BEFORE YOU TAKE OFF.
250
00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:25,343
ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.
251
00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:28,005
(horns honk in distance)
252
00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:29,958
PRETTY GOOD POKER PLAYER.
253
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,460
THANKS.
254
00:10:31,461 --> 00:10:33,631
YOU, TOO.
255
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,563
THE MAIN THING IN POKER
IS TO, UH, PICK UP VIBES
256
00:10:36,556 --> 00:10:39,556
FROM THE OTHER PLAYERS.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
257
00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,559
YEP. DEFINITELY.
258
00:10:41,561 --> 00:10:44,021
READ THE VIBE WRONG,
AND YOU GET BURNED.
259
00:10:44,024 --> 00:10:46,734
READ IT RIGHT, YOU'RE BREAKING
IN THE POT ALL WITHOUT A WORD.
260
00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:48,437
VERY, VERY TRUE.
261
00:10:48,438 --> 00:10:51,318
I GET A VIBE OFF YOU,
RALPH.
262
00:10:53,613 --> 00:10:56,333
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
HOW TO BROACH THIS.
263
00:10:56,326 --> 00:10:58,326
HOW DO I SAY IT?
264
00:10:58,328 --> 00:11:00,868
BUT I THINK YOU AND ME
GOT SOME STUFF IN COMMON,
265
00:11:00,871 --> 00:11:03,201
AND, UM, WELL, AND, UH...
266
00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:05,503
IT'S FUN
WATCHING YOU SQUIRM,
267
00:11:05,495 --> 00:11:07,125
BUT I'LL MAKE IT
EASY ON YOU.
268
00:11:07,127 --> 00:11:09,127
LET'S HAVE DINNER
FRIDAY NIGHT.
269
00:11:25,105 --> 00:11:26,435
(Rockefeller) WHERE?
270
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,976
FORGET IT. IT AIN'T HAPPENIN'.
AW, COME ON, CHIEF.
271
00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:31,109
THIS IS THE KIND OF BREAK
WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
272
00:11:31,111 --> 00:11:33,941
I'VE ONLY HAD ONE RULE MY ENTIRE
LIFE THAT I HAVE LIVED BY,
273
00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,954
AND IT HAS ALWAYS
SERVED ME WELL.
274
00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,446
NEVER DATE
ANYBODY NAMED RALPH.
275
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:40,617
BUT IT IS JUST DINNER--
ONE TINY, LITTLE, GAY MEAL.
276
00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:42,660
YEAH, WELL, WHAT IF HE WANTS
SOMETHING MORE?
277
00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:44,962
SO, BIG WHOOP,
YOU HOLD HIS HAND A LITTLE.
278
00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,785
OR GIVE HIM A NECK RUB.
(Squatch) YEAH, EXACTLY.
279
00:11:47,788 --> 00:11:49,788
WHAT IF HE TRIES
TO KISS ME?
280
00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,960
YOU TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY
LIKE YOU'RE SHY,
281
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,632
BUT HE DON'T BELIEVE YOU,
282
00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:56,603
YOU SMILE GENTLY, PUT HIS HAND
UPON YOUR FACE AND SAY,
283
00:11:56,596 --> 00:11:58,836
"COME ON, YO,
LET'S DO THIS THING."
284
00:11:58,839 --> 00:12:01,299
SUDDENLY, HIS LIPS ON YOURS,
285
00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:03,681
AND HE KISSING YOU HARD,
AND THE CRAZY THING IS
286
00:12:03,683 --> 00:12:05,153
YOU KISSING HIM BACK,
287
00:12:05,145 --> 00:12:08,435
AND IT FEELS SO STRANGE,
YET SOMEHOW FAMILIAR.
288
00:12:08,438 --> 00:12:11,398
YOUR HEART START POUNDING.
YOUR HEAD GET DIZZY.
289
00:12:11,401 --> 00:12:14,441
THE REST OF THE NIGHT GO BY
IN A FEVERED DREAM.
290
00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:18,364
YOU WAKE UP NAKED
IN THE TANGLE OF SILK SHEETS,
291
00:12:18,358 --> 00:12:20,358
SKIN TO SKIN WITH ANOTHER MAN.
292
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,320
YOU SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE LIFE
YOU KNEW 'CAUSE FROM NOW ON,
293
00:12:23,323 --> 00:12:26,253
YOU LIVING ON THE DOWN-LOW.
294
00:12:28,829 --> 00:12:32,669
I'M JUST PLAYING WITH YOU, MAN.
YOU'LL BE FINE. (chuckles)
295
00:12:32,672 --> 00:12:35,592
PLEASE, EUGENE,
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
296
00:12:35,585 --> 00:12:39,045
THAT CAN CONVINCE RALPH
TO HELP US ROB MICK JAGGER.
297
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,549
WE NEED YOU.
(pager beeps)
298
00:12:41,551 --> 00:12:45,151
SCREECH WANT CHICKEN WINGS.
299
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:49,597
(Squatch) CHIEF?
YEAH. COME ON IN, SQUATCH.
300
00:12:49,599 --> 00:12:51,389
LOOK AT YOU, HUH?
301
00:12:51,391 --> 00:12:53,311
REGULAR AUDREY HEPBURN.
302
00:12:53,313 --> 00:12:55,323
I AM NEVER GONNA
LET YOU FORGET
303
00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:57,895
A SINGLE MOMENT
OF THIS MAGICAL EVENING.
304
00:12:57,898 --> 00:12:59,528
PLEASE GO AWAY, OKAY?
305
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,899
NO, RELAX. I'M NOT HERE
TO BUST YOUR BALLS.
306
00:13:01,902 --> 00:13:03,992
I'M HERE TO TALK STRATEGY,
OKAY?
307
00:13:03,994 --> 00:13:07,294
NOW THE NAME OF THE GAME TONIGHT
IS "TEASE, TEASE, TEASE."
HOW'S THAT?
308
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,367
HOW MANY TIMES YOU'VE BEEN
PLAYED BY A HOT CHICK, HUH?
309
00:13:09,369 --> 00:13:11,669
SHE STRINGS YOU ALONG.
YOU DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS
310
00:13:11,671 --> 00:13:14,881
IN THE VAIN HOPE THAT SOMEDAY,
EVENTUALLY, SHE'S GONNA GIVE UP
311
00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:17,545
THE OLD WAMPA-MA-GOOSE.
AM I RIGHT, HUH?
I GUESS.
312
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,547
OKAY, WELL,
TONIGHT, MY FRIEND,
313
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,759
FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN
YOUR LIFE, YOU'RE THE HOT CHICK.
314
00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:25,772
SO YOU TEASE, TEASE, TEASE.
315
00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,845
YOU MAKE HIM THINK THAT
THE ONLY WAY INTO THOSE PANTS
316
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,808
IS BY HELPING US
ROB MICK JAGGER.
317
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:33,639
ALL RIGHT, SQUATCH. UH,
I'LL DO WHAT I CAN DO, OKAY?
318
00:13:33,643 --> 00:13:37,443
GOOD. GOOD. NOW COME HERE.
PUT THIS ON.
319
00:13:37,437 --> 00:13:40,357
(grunts)
320
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,740
WHAT? IT'S A GAY HAT.
321
00:13:43,783 --> 00:13:46,043
(indistinct conversations)
322
00:13:46,036 --> 00:13:50,946
SO HOW DO YOU LIKE
THEM CLAM STRIPS?
THEY'RE OKAY.
323
00:13:50,951 --> 00:13:53,621
HOW'S THE FROZEN MUDSLIDE?
324
00:13:53,623 --> 00:13:56,053
(sighs) IT'S ACCEPTABLE.
325
00:13:56,046 --> 00:13:58,836
I'M SORRY I HAD TO DRAG YOU ALL
THE WAY OUT TO CONEY ISLAND.
326
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,838
I MEAN, THE ONION LOAF--
327
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,300
IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE
ITS OWN SPECIAL DIPPING SAUCE.
328
00:14:03,303 --> 00:14:05,313
KETCHUP? PLEASE.
I MEAN, COME ON.
329
00:14:05,305 --> 00:14:07,305
IT'S A DUMP. I'M SORRY.
330
00:14:07,307 --> 00:14:09,307
I CAN'T RISK MY BOSS
SEEING ME WITH A MAN.
331
00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:10,889
YOU KNOW,
HIS AGENT CAME OUT AT WORK.
332
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,811
TWO WEEKS LATER, THEY FIRED HIM
FOR STEALING OFFICE SUPPLIES.
333
00:14:13,813 --> 00:14:16,113
MEANWHILE, MY BOSS IS BANGING
HIS SECRETARY THE WHOLE TIME,
334
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,606
LIKE THAT'S PERFECTLY OKAY.
335
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:20,687
SECURITY BUSINESS--
SO FREAKING MACHO.
336
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:22,690
YOU KNOW,
THE JANITOR WORLD'S THE SAME.
337
00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:25,662
YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST LIKE
"TOP GUN" WITH TOILETS.
338
00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:28,285
YOU GOT A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR,
BERNIE.
339
00:14:28,288 --> 00:14:29,948
THANKS, RALPH.
340
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:31,830
♪♪♪
341
00:14:31,831 --> 00:14:35,881
SO...
342
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:39,495
SO... HOW ABOUT A STROLL
ON THE BOARDWALK?
343
00:14:39,499 --> 00:14:41,759
OH, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S GETTING
KINDA LATE, AND I HAVE TO--
344
00:14:41,761 --> 00:14:43,131
COME ON.
345
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:46,683
IT'S SUCH A LOVELY NIGHT.
346
00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:49,306
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
347
00:14:49,309 --> 00:14:52,309
(Sixpence None the Richer's
"Kiss Me" playing)
348
00:14:54,314 --> 00:14:56,444
♪ KISS ME ♪
349
00:14:56,436 --> 00:14:59,686
♪ OUT OF THE BEARDED BARLEY ♪
350
00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,359
♪ NIGHTLY ♪
351
00:15:01,361 --> 00:15:04,111
♪ BESIDE THE GREEN,
GREEN GRASS ♪
352
00:15:04,114 --> 00:15:06,414
♪ SWING, SWING ♪
353
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,366
♪ SWING THE SPINNING STEP ♪
354
00:15:08,368 --> 00:15:12,158
♪ YOU WEAR THOSE SHOES,
AND I WILL WEAR THAT DRESS ♪
355
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,912
♪ OH ♪
356
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,303
♪ KISS ME ♪
357
00:15:16,296 --> 00:15:18,126
♪ BENEATH THE MILKY TWILIGHT ♪
358
00:15:18,128 --> 00:15:20,498
♪ LEAD ME ♪
359
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:23,880
♪ OUT ON THE MOONLIT FLOOR ♪
360
00:15:23,883 --> 00:15:25,763
♪ LIFT YOUR OPEN HAND ♪
361
00:15:25,755 --> 00:15:28,675
♪ STRIKE UP THE BAND
AND MAKE THE FIREFLIES DANCE ♪
362
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:32,348
♪ SILVER MOON SPARKLING ♪
363
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:36,653
♪ SO KISS ME ♪
364
00:15:38,398 --> 00:15:40,608
(horn honks)
365
00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:41,980
(TV playing)
366
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,982
YOU LIKE COMEDY,
RIGHT, VAN HOOGSTRATTEN?
367
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,034
YOU'RE A COMEDY FAN?
368
00:15:46,026 --> 00:15:47,276
I GUESS SO.
369
00:15:47,277 --> 00:15:49,117
YOU'VE SEEN
"SAVED BY THE BELL," RIGHT?
370
00:15:49,119 --> 00:15:51,569
I'M FAMILIAR
WITH THAT PROGRAM.
371
00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:53,571
OKAY, BE HONEST WITH ME.
WHAT'S FUNNIER--
372
00:15:53,573 --> 00:15:56,583
"SAVED BY THE BELL" OR ANY OF
WOODY ALLEN'S LAST FIVE MOVIES?
373
00:15:56,576 --> 00:15:58,706
I'M NOT TALKING "ANNIE HALL"
OR "SLEEPER" EITHER.
374
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,578
I'M TALKING ABOUT
HIS LAST FIVE MOVIES.
375
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:02,920
THE ONLY ONE I'VE SEEN
IS "MATCH POINT,"
376
00:16:02,922 --> 00:16:04,672
AND THAT WAS DRAMATICAL.
377
00:16:04,674 --> 00:16:06,354
OH, COME ON.
TRUE OR FALSE--
378
00:16:06,346 --> 00:16:09,466
DUSTIN DIAMOND IS FUNNIER
THAN LATE PERIOD WOODY ALLEN.
379
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,349
TRUE OR FALSE?
380
00:16:11,351 --> 00:16:13,971
TRUE.
381
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,693
EAT A WING.
NOT THAT ONE.
382
00:16:17,687 --> 00:16:19,597
OH, OKAY. (grunting)
383
00:16:19,599 --> 00:16:21,099
MMM.
384
00:16:21,101 --> 00:16:24,101
SO YOU, UH, FEEL LIKE HAVING
A LITTLE NIGHTCAP
385
00:16:24,104 --> 00:16:26,164
BACK AT MY PLACE?
386
00:16:26,156 --> 00:16:27,776
I DON'T THINK SO.
387
00:16:27,777 --> 00:16:29,907
OH. OKAY.
388
00:16:29,909 --> 00:16:31,319
UNLESS, UH...
389
00:16:31,321 --> 00:16:32,741
WHAT?
390
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,162
NOTHING.
391
00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:35,834
NO, PLEASE.
392
00:16:35,825 --> 00:16:37,665
THERE WAS SOMETHING I WAS
MEANING TO ASK YOU, BUT...
393
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:39,167
YEAH?
394
00:16:39,169 --> 00:16:41,999
WELL, IT'S KIND OF
A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY--
395
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,681
A WAY FOR A COUPLE OF GUYS LIKE
US TO TURN OUR LIVES AROUND.
396
00:16:45,675 --> 00:16:47,175
I DON'T FOLLOW YOU.
397
00:16:47,177 --> 00:16:49,677
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED
IN YOUR LIFE DOING ANYTHING
398
00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:52,839
THAT WASN'T COMPLETELY...
YOU KNOW, 100% LEGIT?
399
00:16:52,842 --> 00:16:54,182
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
400
00:16:54,184 --> 00:16:56,694
SOME SORT
OF BONNIE AND CLYDE ACTION?
401
00:16:56,686 --> 00:16:59,596
NOT BONNIE AND CLYDE, CLYDE
AND CLYDE--YOU AND ME, BUDDY.
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
402
00:16:59,599 --> 00:17:02,639
LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHERE
YOU'RE HEADED WITH THIS,
403
00:17:02,642 --> 00:17:04,732
AND FRANKLY,
I DON'T WANT TO.
LOOK, RALPH--
404
00:17:04,734 --> 00:17:06,744
I'M A GOOD CATHOLIC BOY,
OKAY?
405
00:17:06,736 --> 00:17:08,736
I FIGURE IF I STAY OUT
OF TROUBLE HERE ON EARTH,
406
00:17:08,738 --> 00:17:10,908
WHEN I GET
TO THE PEARLY GATES,
407
00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:12,910
JESUS WILL LET
THE WHOLE GAY THING SLIDE.
408
00:17:12,912 --> 00:17:14,912
YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY.
409
00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:18,424
RALPH, WAIT A SECOND.
RALPH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, MAN.
410
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,500
I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME.
411
00:17:25,165 --> 00:17:27,505
I'M SORRY.
412
00:17:35,014 --> 00:17:37,354
THIS IS NO GOOD.
413
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,517
"I LOVE YOU, JOHNNY CAKES."
414
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:41,980
WHAT?
YOU DON'T WATCH "SOPRANOS"?
415
00:17:41,981 --> 00:17:43,981
I CANNOT AFFORD SHOWTIME.
416
00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,333
LOOK, I PRACTICALLY DID IT
WITH THE DUDE,
417
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,325
AND WHAT DO WE HAVE
TO SHOW FOR IT? NOTHING.
418
00:17:57,327 --> 00:18:01,367
NO, NO, HEY, NOT QUITE NOTHING,
CHIEF. I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
419
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:02,831
WE HAVE... THIS. HELLO.
420
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,332
(all speaking at once)
421
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,014
HUH?
(makes kissing sounds)
422
00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:07,505
OH, SURE FEELS GOOD
423
00:18:07,507 --> 00:18:09,207
NOT TO BE THE GAYEST GUY
IN THE ROOM FOR ONCE.
424
00:18:09,209 --> 00:18:11,129
OH, YOU STILL THE GAYEST.
425
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,301
(chuckles)
LOUIS, GO KISS EUGENE.
426
00:18:13,303 --> 00:18:14,423
(all laughing)
427
00:18:14,424 --> 00:18:16,854
SO FUNNY, I FORGOT TO LAUGH.
OKAY, MEANWHILE,
428
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,136
OUR PLAN
IS DOWN THE POOPSTER.
429
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,769
NOT NECESSARILY.
430
00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:22,981
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
OF DOING, SHANKAR?
431
00:18:22,982 --> 00:18:24,482
YOU SAID RALPH'S BOSS
432
00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:27,494
HAD A GUY FIRED
FOR BEING A HOMOSEX, RIGHT?
YEAH.
433
00:18:27,487 --> 00:18:29,487
WE SEND THESE PHOTOS
TO RALPH'S BOSS.
434
00:18:29,489 --> 00:18:31,489
HE GET RALPH FIRED
FOR BEING A HOMOSEX.
435
00:18:31,491 --> 00:18:33,491
THAT CREATE AN OPENING
WITH MICK JAGGER.
436
00:18:33,493 --> 00:18:35,663
THEY FILL THAT OPENING
WITH THEIR ONLY FLOATER,
437
00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:37,655
MR. ROCKEFELLER BUTT.
438
00:18:37,657 --> 00:18:39,827
BUT WAIT A SECOND.
WE CAN'T JUST OUT THIS GUY.
439
00:18:39,829 --> 00:18:42,999
WHY CAN'T WE OUT THE HOMOSEX?
HE IS THE ENEMY!
440
00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:45,382
SUDDENLY ALL HOMOSEX,
WE MUST BE FRIENDED TO?
441
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,125
THAT'S NOT THE POINT,
ALL RIGHT?
442
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,916
THIS PARTICULAR "HOMOSEX"
IS ONE OF US.
443
00:18:49,919 --> 00:18:51,589
OH! AIN'T ONE OF ME.
444
00:18:51,591 --> 00:18:53,381
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE
GAY IN INDIA.
445
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,393
NO, LOOK, HE'S LIKE A--
446
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:57,385
LIKE A WORKING STIFF
JUST LIKE US GUYS, YOU KNOW?
447
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,517
AND I GOT TO KNOW THIS GUY,
AND I KINDA LIKE HIM,
448
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,520
IRREGARDLESS OF HIS PRIVATE,
UH, WIENER BUSINESS.
449
00:19:02,522 --> 00:19:05,322
ALL RIGHT? SO WE DON'T DO THAT.
WE DON'T BURN A GUY LIKE THIS--
450
00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:08,265
A NICE GUY--THAT'S JUST NOT
THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY WAY.
451
00:19:08,268 --> 00:19:11,268
ARE YOU WITH ME, LOUIS?
452
00:19:11,271 --> 00:19:13,401
I'M SORRY. WHAT?
453
00:19:15,275 --> 00:19:18,155
WAIT A SECOND.
WAIT, HOLD ON A SECOND.
454
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,907
YEAH. WAIT A MINUTE.
I GOT IT.
455
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,660
YES, EUGENE GURKIN'S BRAIN
HAS FIGURED IT OUT ONCE AGAIN.
456
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,293
YES!
457
00:19:25,285 --> 00:19:28,125
RALPH SAID HIS BOSS IS CHEATING
WITH HIS SECRETARY.
458
00:19:28,127 --> 00:19:31,167
SQUATCH, GET YOUR CAMERA.
459
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,960
(Hall & Oates' "Private Eyes"
playing)
460
00:19:33,963 --> 00:19:37,353
♪ PRIVATE EYES,
THEY'RE WATCHING YOU ♪
461
00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:41,177
♪ THEY SEE YOUR EVERY MOVE ♪
462
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,510
♪ PRIVATE EYES ♪
463
00:19:43,513 --> 00:19:46,153
♪ THEY'RE WATCHING YOU ♪
464
00:19:46,145 --> 00:19:48,645
♪ PRIVATE EYES ♪
465
00:19:48,648 --> 00:19:51,148
♪ THEY'RE WATCHING YOU,
WATCHING YOU, WATCHING YOU ♪
466
00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:54,270
♪ WATCHING YOU, OOH ♪
467
00:19:54,274 --> 00:19:57,414
♪♪♪
468
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,530
♪ PRIVATE EYES ♪
♪ WHOO ♪
469
00:20:02,532 --> 00:20:03,702
♪ WATCHING YOU ♪
470
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:07,133
♪ YEAH,
THEY SEE YOUR EVERY MOVE ♪
471
00:20:07,126 --> 00:20:09,166
♪ THEY SEE IT, PRIVATE EYES ♪
472
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,708
SO LAST NIGHT, I'M AT THE BAR.
I MEET THIS GIRL.
473
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,501
SHE'S LIKE A CROSS
474
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:17,513
BETWEEN MISS DECEMBER 1993,
ELISA BRIDGES,
475
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:21,637
AND MISS APRIL 2004,
CARMELLA DeCESARE.
MM-HMM.
476
00:20:21,641 --> 00:20:24,511
SO I GET HER BACK TO MY PLACE,
RIGHT? AS SOON AS I--
HEY, LISTEN UP, GENTLEMEN.
477
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,654
AS OF TODAY, FRANK CORTLAND IS
NO LONGER WITH BURTON SECURITY.
478
00:20:27,647 --> 00:20:29,147
HELL, YEAH.
479
00:20:29,148 --> 00:20:31,608
CARNUCCI, I WANT YOU
TO TAKE HIS PLACE.
480
00:20:31,611 --> 00:20:34,981
YES, SIR.
GOOD, BUT THAT LEAVES US
ONE SHORT AT MICK JAGGER'S.
481
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,624
VAN HOOGSTRATTEN,
SEE ME IN MY OFFICE.
482
00:20:46,165 --> 00:20:48,785
WHAT IS IT?
483
00:20:48,788 --> 00:20:50,128
YOU OKAY?
484
00:20:51,831 --> 00:20:53,831
I'M IN. I'M IN.
485
00:20:53,833 --> 00:20:55,843
YEAH!
486
00:20:55,835 --> 00:20:59,175
(cheering)
487
00:20:59,178 --> 00:21:01,258
CONGRATULATIONS!
488
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:04,550
(cheering continues)
489
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:09,734
NOW LET'S GO OUT THE HOMOSEX.
(chuckles)
490
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,402
WHAT? HE'S GAY.
491
00:21:15,395 --> 00:21:17,065
♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪
492
00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:19,396
♪ ROBBIN' FROM THE RICH
TO GIVE TO THEMSELVES ♪
493
00:21:19,399 --> 00:21:21,279
♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪
494
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,450
♪ THEY EVEN MADE A T-SHIRT ♪
495
00:21:23,453 --> 00:21:25,283
♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪
496
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,504
♪ ONE MORE TIME,
IN CASE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ♪
497
00:21:27,497 --> 00:21:29,997
♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪
498
00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:31,999
WE THE KNIGHTS, BABY.
♪ YEAH, HEY ♪
38397
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