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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,541 --> 00:00:02,171 YO, DIG THIS. 2 00:00:02,173 --> 00:00:04,803 ♪ EUGENE GURKIN WAS A JANITOR ♪ 3 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:07,795 ♪ CLEANING TOILETS FOR THE MAN ♪ 4 00:00:07,798 --> 00:00:09,718 (woman) ♪ SCRUBBIN' AND FLUSHIN' ♪ 5 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:13,050 ♪ TILL HE DECIDED THAT HE HAD ENOUGH ♪ 6 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,444 ♪ GOT A CREW AND MADE A PLAN ♪ 7 00:00:15,436 --> 00:00:17,936 ♪ NOW THEY'RE THE... ♪ ♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪ 8 00:00:17,938 --> 00:00:20,598 ♪ ROBBIN' FROM THE RICH TO GIVE TO THEMSELVES ♪ 9 00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:22,641 ♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪ 10 00:00:22,643 --> 00:00:24,823 WE THE KNIGHTS, BABY. 11 00:00:27,608 --> 00:00:30,528 HEAR YE, HEAR YE. I HEREBY CALL TO ORDER 12 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,071 THIS OFFICIAL MEETING OF THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY. 13 00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:35,624 A POINT OF BUSINESS BEFORE WE GET STARTED. GO AHEAD, GOURISHANKAR. 14 00:00:35,616 --> 00:00:37,246 I WOULD LIKE TO PROPOSE 15 00:00:37,248 --> 00:00:39,328 THAT NEXT TIME WHEN WE GO TO ROB MICK JAGGER, 16 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:42,710 INSTEAD OF WOOL SKI MASKS, WE WEAR THESE. 17 00:00:42,713 --> 00:00:45,383 AH! MY SKIN CAN BREATHE. 18 00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:48,376 YOU LOOK AS IF RINGO STARR WALKED INTO A SLIDING DOOR. 19 00:00:48,379 --> 00:00:50,089 OKAY, MOVING ON. TOMORROW MORNING, 9:00 A.M. 20 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:51,971 ROCKEFELLER WILL ENTER MICK JAGGER'S APARTMENT 21 00:00:51,972 --> 00:00:53,472 TO START HIS NEW JOB 22 00:00:53,474 --> 00:00:57,354 AS SECURITY GUARD REGINALD VAN HOOGSTRATTEN. (whistles) 23 00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,638 FINALLY GIVE US AN OPPORTUNITY 24 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,680 TO CASE THE JOINT FROM THE INSIDE. 25 00:01:01,682 --> 00:01:04,322 NOW I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY TO MAKE UP A LIST OF 20 THINGS 26 00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,815 THAT I WANT YOU TO KEEP A PARTICULAR EYE ON 27 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:10,027 AND FIND OUT ABOUT ONCE YOU'RE INSIDE THE APARTMENT. 28 00:01:10,030 --> 00:01:12,030 THESE ARE... WHO ERASED MY LIST? 29 00:01:12,032 --> 00:01:15,202 I THINK WE KNOW WHO DID THIS. I DIDN'T DO IT. 30 00:01:15,196 --> 00:01:17,696 OKAY. NOT IMPORTANT. MOVING ON. THESE ARE THE THREE BIGGIES 31 00:01:17,698 --> 00:01:20,328 I WANT YOU TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR, OKAY? 32 00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:22,541 ONE--WHAT ARE THE VALUABLES? WHERE ARE THEY KEPT? 33 00:01:22,543 --> 00:01:24,593 TWO--WHERE ARE ALL THE ENTRANCES AND EXITS? 34 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:27,165 AND THREE--WHAT ARE THE COMINGS AND GOINGS 35 00:01:27,168 --> 00:01:29,088 OF THE GUARDS, MICK AND HIS HOUSEBOY, NATH PRAN? 36 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,419 CONSIDER IT DONE. 37 00:01:30,421 --> 00:01:32,841 I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A THUMB. 38 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,773 I DIDN'T DO IT! 39 00:01:36,677 --> 00:01:39,677 (cell phone rings) 40 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,680 IT'S ROCKEFELLER. OOH, ASK HIM WHAT IT'S LIKE IN THERE. 41 00:01:42,683 --> 00:01:44,443 HIT ME, BROTHER BUTTS. 42 00:01:44,435 --> 00:01:47,025 EUGENE, WE GOT A FLY IN THE OINTMENT. WHAT HAPPENED? 43 00:01:47,027 --> 00:01:49,227 I DIDN'T GET ASSIGNED TO MICK JAGGER. WHAT? 44 00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:51,820 GOTTA GO. 45 00:01:51,822 --> 00:01:53,902 HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? 46 00:01:53,904 --> 00:01:56,914 YOU'RE GONNA CREATE A MOB SCENE. WELL, THEY TOLD ME YOU SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED 47 00:01:56,907 --> 00:01:58,827 THAT "SCREECH" BE ON THE SIGN. 48 00:01:58,829 --> 00:02:00,909 THE NAME'S DUSTIN DIAMOND. SCREECH IS A CHARACTER 49 00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:04,671 I PLAYED ON "SAVED BY THE BELL," WHAT, TEN YEARS AGO? OH. SORRY, MR. DIAMOND. 50 00:02:04,665 --> 00:02:06,165 IT'S OKAY. CALL ME SCREECH. 51 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:08,377 HEY, CHECK OUT THIS STUFF I ORDERED FROM SkyMall. 52 00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:11,919 NOT HERE. I'M TOO EXPOSED. 53 00:02:11,922 --> 00:02:14,642 (man over P.A.) ...FLIGHT 143 FROM PHOENIX. 54 00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,635 THIS SUCKS! WE WORKED SO HARD TO GET HIM THE JOB. 55 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,968 HE GETS THE JOB, AND HE'S NOT EVEN ASSIGNED TO MICK JAGGER. IT JUST AIN'T RIGHT. 56 00:02:20,971 --> 00:02:22,641 WHAT WE GONNA DO? 57 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,483 LET'S NOT GET CRAZY, AND LET'S THINK. 58 00:02:25,476 --> 00:02:26,936 WHAT DO WE KNOW? 59 00:02:26,937 --> 00:02:29,107 WELL, FIRST OF ALL, SCREECH SOUNDS LIKE 60 00:02:29,109 --> 00:02:31,819 A CRAZY CRACK-A-LACKIN' MAMA JAMA! 61 00:02:31,822 --> 00:02:33,692 NOT EVEN CLOSE, SON. ALL RIGHT. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 62 00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:35,494 FORGET ABOUT SCREECH. 63 00:02:35,486 --> 00:02:38,326 WHAT'D YOU LEARN ABOUT BURTON SECURITY? WELL, THEY GOT DIFFERENT TEAMS 64 00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:39,739 ASSIGNED TO DIFFERENT CELEBRITIES. 65 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:41,660 I'M THE FLOATER, SO THEY PUT ME WHEREVER 66 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,742 THEY NEED ME UNTIL A PERMANENT JOB OPENS UP. 67 00:02:43,744 --> 00:02:46,924 BUT THAT CAN TAKE MONTHS, YEARS! OKAY, WHICH IS WHY TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA MARCH INTO 68 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,417 YOUR SUPERVISOR'S OFFICE AND SAY, 69 00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:49,999 "I DON'T WANT BE A FLOATER NO MORE." 70 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,290 AND WHEN HE ASKS YOU WHERE YOU'D LIKE TO BE ASSIGNED, 71 00:02:53,294 --> 00:02:55,304 SAY--AND ACT VERY CASUAL WHEN YOU DO THIS-- 72 00:02:55,296 --> 00:02:57,556 SAY, "UH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE... HMM... MICK JAGGER?" 73 00:02:57,558 --> 00:02:59,888 OKAY? DO THAT. BUT I'VE ONLY BEEN THERE ONE DAY. 74 00:02:59,890 --> 00:03:01,890 ROCKEFELLER, AS A GENTLEMAN WHO WORKS 75 00:03:01,892 --> 00:03:03,892 IN A JEWISH SUPPLY WAREHOUSE, 76 00:03:03,894 --> 00:03:06,314 CERTAINLY YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH THE TERM "CHUTZPAH." 77 00:03:06,307 --> 00:03:08,647 SOMETHING DON'T SOUND RIGHT THERE. ALL RIGHT. 78 00:03:08,649 --> 00:03:11,359 THIS IS ABOUT GRABBING OUR DESTINY. GRABBING DESTINY. 79 00:03:11,362 --> 00:03:13,482 THAT'S RIGHT. YOU CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. 80 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:14,994 YOU CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. 81 00:03:14,985 --> 00:03:16,695 I GOT CHUTZPAH. I GOT CHUTZPAH! 82 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,817 I GOT CHUTZPAH! I GOT CHUTZPAH! 83 00:03:18,819 --> 00:03:21,119 (man) WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! 84 00:03:21,121 --> 00:03:23,781 YOU HAVE SOME SET OF ROYAL BRASS STONES 85 00:03:23,784 --> 00:03:26,134 TO COME IN HERE AFTER ONE DAY 86 00:03:26,126 --> 00:03:28,786 AND ASK TO BE A PERMIE. 87 00:03:28,789 --> 00:03:31,039 WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! 88 00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:34,041 DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAS A FLOATER?! SIX YEARS! 89 00:03:34,044 --> 00:03:38,514 YES, SIR. I-I'M SORRY. I-I THOUGHT-- GET OUT OF HERE, VAN HOOGSTRATTEN! 90 00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:41,139 NOW! ALL RIGHT, YEAH. OKAY. 91 00:03:41,141 --> 00:03:44,401 (woman) FRANK CORTLAND'S OFFICE. 92 00:03:44,395 --> 00:03:47,055 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, FLOATER? 93 00:03:47,057 --> 00:03:50,607 (moans) 94 00:03:50,611 --> 00:03:52,111 SOUNDS LIKE YOU MET 95 00:03:52,112 --> 00:03:53,982 THE ONE AND ONLY FRANK CORTLAND. 96 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:57,074 MAN, I'D LIKE TO PUT THAT GUY THROUGH A JUICER. 97 00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:59,817 WE ALL WOULD. RALPH CARNUCCI. 98 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,360 ROCKEFELL--UH, SORRY. 99 00:04:01,362 --> 00:04:05,082 I CAN'T GET THAT DAMN SONG OUT OF MY HEAD. UH... 100 00:04:05,075 --> 00:04:07,785 ♪ COME, LET'S MIX WITH ROCKEFELLERS ♪ 101 00:04:07,788 --> 00:04:09,918 ♪ WALK WITH STICKS OR UM-BU-RELLAS ♪ 102 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,370 ♪ IN THEIR MIDST, MM, MM, PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ ♪ 103 00:04:12,373 --> 00:04:14,303 REGINALD VAN HOOGSTRATTEN. 104 00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,875 I WAS A FLOATER FOR THREE YEARS. 105 00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:18,377 IT SUCKS. 106 00:04:18,379 --> 00:04:20,549 I ONCE HAD TO TAKE BETTE MIDLER'S DACHSHUND 107 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,381 TO THE SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL. 108 00:04:22,383 --> 00:04:25,563 WHO YOU ASSIGNED TO NOW? MICK JAGGER. 109 00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:27,846 WORKING HIS APARTMENT-- 110 00:04:27,848 --> 00:04:29,348 (Frank) LET'S GO, CARNUCCI! 111 00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:32,850 WITH MR. SUNSHINE. SEE YOU AROUND. 112 00:04:32,853 --> 00:04:36,533 ♪ DRESSED UP LIKE A MILLION DOLLAR TROUPER ♪ 113 00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:38,527 WHAT DID I TELL YOU, ROCKEFELLER? 114 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:42,199 BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, AND MAGIC HAPPENS. 115 00:04:42,202 --> 00:04:44,202 EUGENE, THE MAN CHEWED MY ASS OFF. 116 00:04:44,204 --> 00:04:46,174 YOU SEE UNDER HERE? NO ASS. 117 00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:48,326 A SMALL PRICE TO PAY, BECAUSE YOU DELIVERED US 118 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:50,829 THE GOLDEN TICKET TO THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, 119 00:04:50,831 --> 00:04:52,711 AND HIS NAME IS RALPH CARNUCCI. 120 00:04:52,713 --> 00:04:56,263 OKAY, SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW? WE BEFRIEND THE GUY. WE ENGAGE HIM IN SOME LAUGHS, 121 00:04:56,256 --> 00:04:58,256 AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, HE'LL SPILL 122 00:04:58,258 --> 00:05:01,838 ALL KINDS OF USEFUL INFO BEFORE HE EVEN KNEW HE DID IT. 123 00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:03,922 HOW DO WE BEFRIEND RALPH CARNUCCI? UH, KARAOKE NIGHT. 124 00:05:03,924 --> 00:05:06,934 WE CONCENTRATE ON THE DUETS. YOU SING "ISLANDS IN THE STREAM" 125 00:05:06,927 --> 00:05:10,347 WITH A GUY, AND TRUST ME--BONDING HAPPENS. 126 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,641 (Eugene) OKAY, ANYONE ELSE WITH ANY IDEAS? 127 00:05:12,643 --> 00:05:14,743 LET'S TAKE HIM TO A STRIP CLUB. 128 00:05:14,735 --> 00:05:16,815 NOTHING GETS A GUY TALKING LIKE BOOZE AND BOOBS. 129 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,437 GARY, THERE'S A LADY PRESENT. 130 00:05:18,439 --> 00:05:20,489 HE'S RIGHT. THESE THINGS WORK LIKE TRUTH SERUM. 131 00:05:20,491 --> 00:05:24,111 LOOK, I LIKE THE HANKY MANANKY AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY, 132 00:05:24,114 --> 00:05:25,754 UNLESS THE NEXT GUY, OF COURSE, IS GARY. 133 00:05:25,746 --> 00:05:28,656 BUT I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE PROPER SETTING TO ENGAGE 134 00:05:28,659 --> 00:05:30,949 IN CASUAL CONVERSATION. ANYONE ELSE? ANYONE ELSE? 135 00:05:30,951 --> 00:05:33,121 HOW ABOUT WE GO TO A STRIP CLUB? 136 00:05:33,123 --> 00:05:36,173 I JUST REJECTED THAT! I MEAN NOW. MIGHT HELP US THINK. 137 00:05:36,166 --> 00:05:39,166 I GOT IT. ROCKEFELLER SAYS HE'S GOT AN OPEN SEAT 138 00:05:39,169 --> 00:05:42,299 IN HIS WEEKLY POKER GAME. THAT POKER GAME IS US. 139 00:05:42,302 --> 00:05:45,472 WE PLAY CARDS WITH HIM... HAVE LAUGHS... 140 00:05:45,466 --> 00:05:48,176 ENGAGE IN CASUAL CONVERSATION ABOUT HIS WORK, 141 00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:51,018 AND, SQUATCH, BAM! THAT'S BRILLIANT! 142 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,681 YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN HIT US WITH YOUR GENIUS STICK. 143 00:05:53,684 --> 00:05:57,984 THAT'S U.S.A., ONE, AND INDIA, ZERO! 144 00:05:57,978 --> 00:05:59,978 I'LL BE AT FLASHDANCERS. 145 00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,489 (Eugene) RIGHT-O. EXCELLENT. ALL RIGHT. 146 00:06:10,491 --> 00:06:12,991 RALPH AND ROCKEFELLER ARE ON THEIR WAY UP, OKAY? 147 00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:16,173 SO BEFORE THEY GET HERE, UH, LOUIS, GET OUT THE BOOZE. 148 00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:18,666 ALL RIGHT? THAT WILL HELP LUBRICATE THE INFORMATION FLOW. 149 00:06:18,669 --> 00:06:20,169 UH, AND EVERYBODY, REMEMBER, 150 00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:23,340 ROCKEFELLER'S NAME IS REGINALD VAN HOOGSTRATTEN, OKAY? 151 00:06:23,343 --> 00:06:26,223 WHAT ABOUT US? DON'T WE NEED FAKE NAMES, TOO? 152 00:06:26,216 --> 00:06:28,096 OH, GOOD POINT. UH, ALL RIGHT. I'M BERNIE. 153 00:06:28,098 --> 00:06:30,678 MADONNA. SKIPPER. 154 00:06:30,681 --> 00:06:32,221 SKIPPER--THAT IS THE STUPIDEST NAME I EVER HEARD. 155 00:06:32,222 --> 00:06:34,012 OH, YEAH, WHAT DO YOU GOT? MIKE. 156 00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:36,364 HEY, YO. 157 00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:38,816 WAIT, GUYS, UH, I STILL DON'T HAVE A FAKE NAME. 158 00:06:38,819 --> 00:06:41,479 HEY, UH, THIS IS RALPH. UH, HARRISON-- THAT'S MY LAST NAME. 159 00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:43,232 NO, I-I CAN'T THINK OF A FIRST NAME. HOW YOU DOIN'? 160 00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:46,033 HEY, RALPH, HI. HEY. BERNIE. BERNIE, HOW ARE YOU? 161 00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:47,866 MADONNA. NICE TO MEET YOU. 162 00:06:47,868 --> 00:06:50,658 HI, I'M MIKE, AND THIS IS SKIPPER. WHAT'S HAPPENING? 163 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,661 AND YOU ARE? 164 00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:54,883 EUGENE. 165 00:06:54,875 --> 00:06:57,665 HUH. WELL, IT'S NICE MEETING YOU ALL. (Rockefeller) YEAH. 166 00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,918 (Eugene) YEAH, YEAH. LIKEWISE. LIKEWISE, YEAH. (pager beeps) 167 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,420 I GOTTA MEET SCREECH AT A COMEDY CLUB. 168 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,012 PLIGHT OF A FLOATER. 169 00:07:05,005 --> 00:07:07,305 HEY, COME ON. IT'S TEQUILA TIME, HUH? 170 00:07:07,307 --> 00:07:10,547 (chuckles) RALPH, YOU, UH, YOU WITH ME, BUDDY? 171 00:07:10,551 --> 00:07:14,691 AAH! WHOO-HOO! OH, IT'S LIKE BEING ON THE STREETS OF TIJUANA. 172 00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,855 (chuckles) 173 00:07:16,857 --> 00:07:20,817 (Gary) OKAY, COWBOYS. THE NAME OF THE GAME IS 7-CARD STUD. 174 00:07:20,821 --> 00:07:24,871 2s, 3s, 4s, 5s, 6s AND 7s ARE WILD. 175 00:07:24,865 --> 00:07:26,065 WHAT IS THIS, POKER OR GO FISH? 176 00:07:26,066 --> 00:07:28,446 OKAY, NO WILD CARDS. 177 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,448 SO, UH, REGINALD TELLS US 178 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,200 YOU DO A LITTLE SECURITY WORK FOR MICK JAGGER. 179 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,372 FOR A FEW YEARS NOW. 180 00:07:34,374 --> 00:07:36,544 HMM. YOU KNOW WHAT I ALWAYS WONDERED? 181 00:07:36,537 --> 00:07:39,037 DO THOSE GUYS EAT WITH, UH, REAL SILVERWARE? 182 00:07:39,039 --> 00:07:41,249 YOU KNOW, THE--LIKE, THE REAL SILVER KIND, 183 00:07:41,251 --> 00:07:43,251 LIKE, ACTUAL REAL SILVER? 184 00:07:43,253 --> 00:07:45,723 WELL, I REALLY DON'T EAT WITH THEM, SO... 185 00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,386 'COURSE NOT. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, BERNIE. 186 00:07:47,387 --> 00:07:49,387 HE CAN'T EAT WITH MICK JAGGER 187 00:07:49,389 --> 00:07:51,389 BECAUSE HE'S TOO BUSY GUARDING THINGS 188 00:07:51,391 --> 00:07:55,361 LIKE ALL THE EXPENSIVE PAINTINGS THAT MUST BE ON THE WALLS, HUH? 189 00:07:55,355 --> 00:07:57,145 (Ralph) YEAH, WELL, SORT OF. 190 00:07:57,147 --> 00:07:59,017 THERE ARE EXPENSIVE PAINTINGS ON THE WALL? 191 00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:01,309 WE DON'T REALLY EAT WITH THE CLIENT IS WHAT I MEANT. 192 00:08:01,311 --> 00:08:03,901 BUT THE SILVERWARE'S REAL SILVER, RIGHT? 193 00:08:03,904 --> 00:08:06,454 PROBABLY. I GUESS. I-I REALLY DON'T KNOW. 194 00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:08,988 HMM. 195 00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,949 THE ROOM IS SPINNING. 196 00:08:10,951 --> 00:08:13,411 GO BACK TO SLEEP, IRENE. 197 00:08:13,413 --> 00:08:14,793 OKAY. 198 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,995 (horns honking in distance) 199 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,790 HEY, BIG GUY. MY SET'S ABOUT 40 MINUTES, 200 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:25,053 COULD GET UP TO 55, YOU KNOW, GIVEN THE LAUGH SPREAD. 201 00:08:25,045 --> 00:08:27,505 OKAY, ONCE I'M OFFSTAGE, YOU GOTTA GET ME OUT 202 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,047 THROUGH THE BACK OF THE KITCHEN--NO STOPPING. 203 00:08:30,050 --> 00:08:32,390 IF THE CROWD GETS ME, I'LL BE YAKKING WITH THEM FOREVER. 204 00:08:32,392 --> 00:08:35,022 YES, MR. SCREECH. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 205 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,015 HE SCREECHED HIS WAY INTO YOUR HEARTS 206 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,847 ON "SAVED BY THE BELL." 207 00:08:38,849 --> 00:08:40,639 HERE HE IS-- JUSTIN DIAMOND! 208 00:08:40,641 --> 00:08:44,021 (scattered applause) 209 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,574 (microphone feedback whines) 210 00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,236 (indistinct conversations) 211 00:08:47,237 --> 00:08:49,197 SO A HORSE WALKS INTO A WHOREHOUSE... 212 00:08:49,199 --> 00:08:50,489 $3. 213 00:08:50,490 --> 00:08:53,150 ARE YOU BLUFFING? 214 00:08:53,153 --> 00:08:55,163 I THINK YOU ARE BLUFFING. ARE YOU BLUFFING? 215 00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:57,575 I'M NOT BLUFFING. 216 00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,658 WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WOULD SAY IF YOU WERE BLUFFING. 217 00:09:00,661 --> 00:09:03,711 I DID NOT SWING OUT OF A TREE YESTERDAY, MY FRIEND. HA. 218 00:09:03,714 --> 00:09:05,674 I CALL. 219 00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:07,216 THREE KINGS. 220 00:09:07,217 --> 00:09:08,467 (shouts in Hindi) 221 00:09:08,468 --> 00:09:11,548 SURPRISE, SURPRISE. WEALTHY BOY WINS AGAIN. 222 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,881 LISTEN, GUYS, I GOTTA BE AT WORK TOMORROW AT 6:00 A.M. 223 00:09:13,884 --> 00:09:16,524 WHOA. THOSE ARE YOUR NORMAL HOURS? NORMAL HOURS? 224 00:09:16,516 --> 00:09:19,556 MY HOURS ARE WHATEVER MY HITLER BOSS DECIDES TO MAKE 'EM. 225 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,059 OH. WE'VE ALL HAD OUR SHARE OF CRAPPY BOSSES, HUH? 226 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,562 NOT LIKE THIS DUDE. THE ONLY THING I LIKE ABOUT THIS GUY 227 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,784 IS THAT I KNOW ONE DAY HE WILL DIE. 228 00:09:26,777 --> 00:09:28,567 IS THERE A BATHROOM AROUND HERE? 229 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:32,068 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. RIGHT BACK THAT WAY. 230 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,542 WE'VE GOT NOTHING FROM THIS CABRóN. AND HE TOOK ALL OUR MONEY. 231 00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:37,535 SILLY ME. I THOUGHT IF I ROBBED MICK JAGGER, 232 00:09:37,537 --> 00:09:39,827 IF I ROBBED MICK JAGGER, I WOULD HAVE MORE MONEY, NOT LESS. 233 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,460 WE CAN TURN THIS GUY. SAY WHAT? 234 00:09:42,462 --> 00:09:45,382 WE SHOULD ASK HIM TO HELP US ROB MICK. I THINK YOUR JANITOR WORK 235 00:09:45,375 --> 00:09:47,415 HAS CAUSED YOU TO INHALE TOO MANY CLEANING CHEMICALS. 236 00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:49,587 DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE 237 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:52,669 WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT HOW MUCH HE HATED HIS BOSS? 238 00:09:52,673 --> 00:09:55,933 I'M TELLING YA, FOR THE RIGHT PRICE, THIS GUY WILL HELP US. AND HOW DO WE EVEN APPROACH THIS? 239 00:09:55,926 --> 00:09:58,926 DO WE WAIT FOR HIM TO COME OUT AND ASK HIM, "HEY, CAN YOU 240 00:09:58,929 --> 00:10:02,479 PLEASE PASS THOSE CHIPS AND HELP US ROB MICK JAGGER?" NO. I'LL DO IT ALONE, AND I'LL DO IT GINGERLY, 241 00:10:02,482 --> 00:10:04,482 LIKE A COUGAR STALKING ITS UNSUSPECTING PREY. 242 00:10:04,484 --> 00:10:07,494 IF I FEEL LIKE HE'S NOT GOING FOR IT, I'LL PULL BACK, 243 00:10:07,487 --> 00:10:09,857 BUT IF HE DOES, THEN-- 244 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,860 THE TOILET PAPER'S GOT MENORAHS ON IT. 245 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:14,872 FELT A LITTLE WEIRD. OH, YEAH. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, CHIEF. 246 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:17,535 HEY, RALPH, HAVE YOU, UH, SEEN THE VIEW OF THE CITY FROM HERE? 247 00:10:17,537 --> 00:10:19,407 UH, NO, DIDN'T SEE IT. 248 00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:20,909 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. 249 00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:23,581 YOU GOTTA CHECK IT OUT BEFORE YOU TAKE OFF. 250 00:10:23,583 --> 00:10:25,343 ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO. 251 00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:28,005 (horns honk in distance) 252 00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:29,958 PRETTY GOOD POKER PLAYER. 253 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,460 THANKS. 254 00:10:31,461 --> 00:10:33,631 YOU, TOO. 255 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,563 THE MAIN THING IN POKER IS TO, UH, PICK UP VIBES 256 00:10:36,556 --> 00:10:39,556 FROM THE OTHER PLAYERS. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 257 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,559 YEP. DEFINITELY. 258 00:10:41,561 --> 00:10:44,021 READ THE VIBE WRONG, AND YOU GET BURNED. 259 00:10:44,024 --> 00:10:46,734 READ IT RIGHT, YOU'RE BREAKING IN THE POT ALL WITHOUT A WORD. 260 00:10:46,727 --> 00:10:48,437 VERY, VERY TRUE. 261 00:10:48,438 --> 00:10:51,318 I GET A VIBE OFF YOU, RALPH. 262 00:10:53,613 --> 00:10:56,333 I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO BROACH THIS. 263 00:10:56,326 --> 00:10:58,326 HOW DO I SAY IT? 264 00:10:58,328 --> 00:11:00,868 BUT I THINK YOU AND ME GOT SOME STUFF IN COMMON, 265 00:11:00,871 --> 00:11:03,201 AND, UM, WELL, AND, UH... 266 00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:05,503 IT'S FUN WATCHING YOU SQUIRM, 267 00:11:05,495 --> 00:11:07,125 BUT I'LL MAKE IT EASY ON YOU. 268 00:11:07,127 --> 00:11:09,127 LET'S HAVE DINNER FRIDAY NIGHT. 269 00:11:25,105 --> 00:11:26,435 (Rockefeller) WHERE? 270 00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,976 FORGET IT. IT AIN'T HAPPENIN'. AW, COME ON, CHIEF. 271 00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:31,109 THIS IS THE KIND OF BREAK WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. 272 00:11:31,111 --> 00:11:33,941 I'VE ONLY HAD ONE RULE MY ENTIRE LIFE THAT I HAVE LIVED BY, 273 00:11:33,944 --> 00:11:35,954 AND IT HAS ALWAYS SERVED ME WELL. 274 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:37,446 NEVER DATE ANYBODY NAMED RALPH. 275 00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:40,617 BUT IT IS JUST DINNER-- ONE TINY, LITTLE, GAY MEAL. 276 00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:42,660 YEAH, WELL, WHAT IF HE WANTS SOMETHING MORE? 277 00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:44,962 SO, BIG WHOOP, YOU HOLD HIS HAND A LITTLE. 278 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,785 OR GIVE HIM A NECK RUB. (Squatch) YEAH, EXACTLY. 279 00:11:47,788 --> 00:11:49,788 WHAT IF HE TRIES TO KISS ME? 280 00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,960 YOU TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY LIKE YOU'RE SHY, 281 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,632 BUT HE DON'T BELIEVE YOU, 282 00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:56,603 YOU SMILE GENTLY, PUT HIS HAND UPON YOUR FACE AND SAY, 283 00:11:56,596 --> 00:11:58,836 "COME ON, YO, LET'S DO THIS THING." 284 00:11:58,839 --> 00:12:01,299 SUDDENLY, HIS LIPS ON YOURS, 285 00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:03,681 AND HE KISSING YOU HARD, AND THE CRAZY THING IS 286 00:12:03,683 --> 00:12:05,153 YOU KISSING HIM BACK, 287 00:12:05,145 --> 00:12:08,435 AND IT FEELS SO STRANGE, YET SOMEHOW FAMILIAR. 288 00:12:08,438 --> 00:12:11,398 YOUR HEART START POUNDING. YOUR HEAD GET DIZZY. 289 00:12:11,401 --> 00:12:14,441 THE REST OF THE NIGHT GO BY IN A FEVERED DREAM. 290 00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:18,364 YOU WAKE UP NAKED IN THE TANGLE OF SILK SHEETS, 291 00:12:18,358 --> 00:12:20,358 SKIN TO SKIN WITH ANOTHER MAN. 292 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,320 YOU SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE LIFE YOU KNEW 'CAUSE FROM NOW ON, 293 00:12:23,323 --> 00:12:26,253 YOU LIVING ON THE DOWN-LOW. 294 00:12:28,829 --> 00:12:32,669 I'M JUST PLAYING WITH YOU, MAN. YOU'LL BE FINE. (chuckles) 295 00:12:32,672 --> 00:12:35,592 PLEASE, EUGENE, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE 296 00:12:35,585 --> 00:12:39,045 THAT CAN CONVINCE RALPH TO HELP US ROB MICK JAGGER. 297 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,549 WE NEED YOU. (pager beeps) 298 00:12:41,551 --> 00:12:45,151 SCREECH WANT CHICKEN WINGS. 299 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:49,597 (Squatch) CHIEF? YEAH. COME ON IN, SQUATCH. 300 00:12:49,599 --> 00:12:51,389 LOOK AT YOU, HUH? 301 00:12:51,391 --> 00:12:53,311 REGULAR AUDREY HEPBURN. 302 00:12:53,313 --> 00:12:55,323 I AM NEVER GONNA LET YOU FORGET 303 00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:57,895 A SINGLE MOMENT OF THIS MAGICAL EVENING. 304 00:12:57,898 --> 00:12:59,528 PLEASE GO AWAY, OKAY? 305 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,899 NO, RELAX. I'M NOT HERE TO BUST YOUR BALLS. 306 00:13:01,902 --> 00:13:03,992 I'M HERE TO TALK STRATEGY, OKAY? 307 00:13:03,994 --> 00:13:07,294 NOW THE NAME OF THE GAME TONIGHT IS "TEASE, TEASE, TEASE." HOW'S THAT? 308 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,367 HOW MANY TIMES YOU'VE BEEN PLAYED BY A HOT CHICK, HUH? 309 00:13:09,369 --> 00:13:11,669 SHE STRINGS YOU ALONG. YOU DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS 310 00:13:11,671 --> 00:13:14,881 IN THE VAIN HOPE THAT SOMEDAY, EVENTUALLY, SHE'S GONNA GIVE UP 311 00:13:14,875 --> 00:13:17,545 THE OLD WAMPA-MA-GOOSE. AM I RIGHT, HUH? I GUESS. 312 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,547 OKAY, WELL, TONIGHT, MY FRIEND, 313 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,759 FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE, YOU'RE THE HOT CHICK. 314 00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:25,772 SO YOU TEASE, TEASE, TEASE. 315 00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,845 YOU MAKE HIM THINK THAT THE ONLY WAY INTO THOSE PANTS 316 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,808 IS BY HELPING US ROB MICK JAGGER. 317 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:33,639 ALL RIGHT, SQUATCH. UH, I'LL DO WHAT I CAN DO, OKAY? 318 00:13:33,643 --> 00:13:37,443 GOOD. GOOD. NOW COME HERE. PUT THIS ON. 319 00:13:37,437 --> 00:13:40,357 (grunts) 320 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,740 WHAT? IT'S A GAY HAT. 321 00:13:43,783 --> 00:13:46,043 (indistinct conversations) 322 00:13:46,036 --> 00:13:50,946 SO HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM CLAM STRIPS? THEY'RE OKAY. 323 00:13:50,951 --> 00:13:53,621 HOW'S THE FROZEN MUDSLIDE? 324 00:13:53,623 --> 00:13:56,053 (sighs) IT'S ACCEPTABLE. 325 00:13:56,046 --> 00:13:58,836 I'M SORRY I HAD TO DRAG YOU ALL THE WAY OUT TO CONEY ISLAND. 326 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,838 I MEAN, THE ONION LOAF-- 327 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,300 IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ITS OWN SPECIAL DIPPING SAUCE. 328 00:14:03,303 --> 00:14:05,313 KETCHUP? PLEASE. I MEAN, COME ON. 329 00:14:05,305 --> 00:14:07,305 IT'S A DUMP. I'M SORRY. 330 00:14:07,307 --> 00:14:09,307 I CAN'T RISK MY BOSS SEEING ME WITH A MAN. 331 00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:10,889 YOU KNOW, HIS AGENT CAME OUT AT WORK. 332 00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:13,811 TWO WEEKS LATER, THEY FIRED HIM FOR STEALING OFFICE SUPPLIES. 333 00:14:13,813 --> 00:14:16,113 MEANWHILE, MY BOSS IS BANGING HIS SECRETARY THE WHOLE TIME, 334 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,606 LIKE THAT'S PERFECTLY OKAY. 335 00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:20,687 SECURITY BUSINESS-- SO FREAKING MACHO. 336 00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:22,690 YOU KNOW, THE JANITOR WORLD'S THE SAME. 337 00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:25,662 YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST LIKE "TOP GUN" WITH TOILETS. 338 00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:28,285 YOU GOT A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR, BERNIE. 339 00:14:28,288 --> 00:14:29,948 THANKS, RALPH. 340 00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:31,830 ♪♪♪ 341 00:14:31,831 --> 00:14:35,881 SO... 342 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:39,495 SO... HOW ABOUT A STROLL ON THE BOARDWALK? 343 00:14:39,499 --> 00:14:41,759 OH, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S GETTING KINDA LATE, AND I HAVE TO-- 344 00:14:41,761 --> 00:14:43,131 COME ON. 345 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:46,683 IT'S SUCH A LOVELY NIGHT. 346 00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:49,306 WELL, ALL RIGHT. 347 00:14:49,309 --> 00:14:52,309 (Sixpence None the Richer's "Kiss Me" playing) 348 00:14:54,314 --> 00:14:56,444 ♪ KISS ME ♪ 349 00:14:56,436 --> 00:14:59,686 ♪ OUT OF THE BEARDED BARLEY ♪ 350 00:14:59,689 --> 00:15:01,359 ♪ NIGHTLY ♪ 351 00:15:01,361 --> 00:15:04,111 ♪ BESIDE THE GREEN, GREEN GRASS ♪ 352 00:15:04,114 --> 00:15:06,414 ♪ SWING, SWING ♪ 353 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,366 ♪ SWING THE SPINNING STEP ♪ 354 00:15:08,368 --> 00:15:12,158 ♪ YOU WEAR THOSE SHOES, AND I WILL WEAR THAT DRESS ♪ 355 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,912 ♪ OH ♪ 356 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,303 ♪ KISS ME ♪ 357 00:15:16,296 --> 00:15:18,126 ♪ BENEATH THE MILKY TWILIGHT ♪ 358 00:15:18,128 --> 00:15:20,498 ♪ LEAD ME ♪ 359 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:23,880 ♪ OUT ON THE MOONLIT FLOOR ♪ 360 00:15:23,883 --> 00:15:25,763 ♪ LIFT YOUR OPEN HAND ♪ 361 00:15:25,755 --> 00:15:28,675 ♪ STRIKE UP THE BAND AND MAKE THE FIREFLIES DANCE ♪ 362 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:32,348 ♪ SILVER MOON SPARKLING ♪ 363 00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:36,653 ♪ SO KISS ME ♪ 364 00:15:38,398 --> 00:15:40,608 (horn honks) 365 00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:41,980 (TV playing) 366 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,982 YOU LIKE COMEDY, RIGHT, VAN HOOGSTRATTEN? 367 00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:46,034 YOU'RE A COMEDY FAN? 368 00:15:46,026 --> 00:15:47,276 I GUESS SO. 369 00:15:47,277 --> 00:15:49,117 YOU'VE SEEN "SAVED BY THE BELL," RIGHT? 370 00:15:49,119 --> 00:15:51,569 I'M FAMILIAR WITH THAT PROGRAM. 371 00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:53,571 OKAY, BE HONEST WITH ME. WHAT'S FUNNIER-- 372 00:15:53,573 --> 00:15:56,583 "SAVED BY THE BELL" OR ANY OF WOODY ALLEN'S LAST FIVE MOVIES? 373 00:15:56,576 --> 00:15:58,706 I'M NOT TALKING "ANNIE HALL" OR "SLEEPER" EITHER. 374 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,578 I'M TALKING ABOUT HIS LAST FIVE MOVIES. 375 00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:02,920 THE ONLY ONE I'VE SEEN IS "MATCH POINT," 376 00:16:02,922 --> 00:16:04,672 AND THAT WAS DRAMATICAL. 377 00:16:04,674 --> 00:16:06,354 OH, COME ON. TRUE OR FALSE-- 378 00:16:06,346 --> 00:16:09,466 DUSTIN DIAMOND IS FUNNIER THAN LATE PERIOD WOODY ALLEN. 379 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:11,349 TRUE OR FALSE? 380 00:16:11,351 --> 00:16:13,971 TRUE. 381 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,693 EAT A WING. NOT THAT ONE. 382 00:16:17,687 --> 00:16:19,597 OH, OKAY. (grunting) 383 00:16:19,599 --> 00:16:21,099 MMM. 384 00:16:21,101 --> 00:16:24,101 SO YOU, UH, FEEL LIKE HAVING A LITTLE NIGHTCAP 385 00:16:24,104 --> 00:16:26,164 BACK AT MY PLACE? 386 00:16:26,156 --> 00:16:27,776 I DON'T THINK SO. 387 00:16:27,777 --> 00:16:29,907 OH. OKAY. 388 00:16:29,909 --> 00:16:31,319 UNLESS, UH... 389 00:16:31,321 --> 00:16:32,741 WHAT? 390 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,162 NOTHING. 391 00:16:34,164 --> 00:16:35,834 NO, PLEASE. 392 00:16:35,825 --> 00:16:37,665 THERE WAS SOMETHING I WAS MEANING TO ASK YOU, BUT... 393 00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:39,167 YEAH? 394 00:16:39,169 --> 00:16:41,999 WELL, IT'S KIND OF A BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY-- 395 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,681 A WAY FOR A COUPLE OF GUYS LIKE US TO TURN OUR LIVES AROUND. 396 00:16:45,675 --> 00:16:47,175 I DON'T FOLLOW YOU. 397 00:16:47,177 --> 00:16:49,677 HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED IN YOUR LIFE DOING ANYTHING 398 00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:52,839 THAT WASN'T COMPLETELY... YOU KNOW, 100% LEGIT? 399 00:16:52,842 --> 00:16:54,182 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 400 00:16:54,184 --> 00:16:56,694 SOME SORT OF BONNIE AND CLYDE ACTION? 401 00:16:56,686 --> 00:16:59,596 NOT BONNIE AND CLYDE, CLYDE AND CLYDE--YOU AND ME, BUDDY. ARE YOU SERIOUS? 402 00:16:59,599 --> 00:17:02,639 LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE HEADED WITH THIS, 403 00:17:02,642 --> 00:17:04,732 AND FRANKLY, I DON'T WANT TO. LOOK, RALPH-- 404 00:17:04,734 --> 00:17:06,744 I'M A GOOD CATHOLIC BOY, OKAY? 405 00:17:06,736 --> 00:17:08,736 I FIGURE IF I STAY OUT OF TROUBLE HERE ON EARTH, 406 00:17:08,738 --> 00:17:10,908 WHEN I GET TO THE PEARLY GATES, 407 00:17:10,910 --> 00:17:12,910 JESUS WILL LET THE WHOLE GAY THING SLIDE. 408 00:17:12,912 --> 00:17:14,912 YOU GOT THE WRONG GUY. 409 00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:18,424 RALPH, WAIT A SECOND. RALPH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, MAN. 410 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,500 I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME. 411 00:17:25,165 --> 00:17:27,505 I'M SORRY. 412 00:17:35,014 --> 00:17:37,354 THIS IS NO GOOD. 413 00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:40,517 "I LOVE YOU, JOHNNY CAKES." 414 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:41,980 WHAT? YOU DON'T WATCH "SOPRANOS"? 415 00:17:41,981 --> 00:17:43,981 I CANNOT AFFORD SHOWTIME. 416 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,333 LOOK, I PRACTICALLY DID IT WITH THE DUDE, 417 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,325 AND WHAT DO WE HAVE TO SHOW FOR IT? NOTHING. 418 00:17:57,327 --> 00:18:01,367 NO, NO, HEY, NOT QUITE NOTHING, CHIEF. I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. 419 00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:02,831 WE HAVE... THIS. HELLO. 420 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,332 (all speaking at once) 421 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:06,014 HUH? (makes kissing sounds) 422 00:18:06,005 --> 00:18:07,505 OH, SURE FEELS GOOD 423 00:18:07,507 --> 00:18:09,207 NOT TO BE THE GAYEST GUY IN THE ROOM FOR ONCE. 424 00:18:09,209 --> 00:18:11,129 OH, YOU STILL THE GAYEST. 425 00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,301 (chuckles) LOUIS, GO KISS EUGENE. 426 00:18:13,303 --> 00:18:14,423 (all laughing) 427 00:18:14,424 --> 00:18:16,854 SO FUNNY, I FORGOT TO LAUGH. OKAY, MEANWHILE, 428 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,136 OUR PLAN IS DOWN THE POOPSTER. 429 00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,769 NOT NECESSARILY. 430 00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:22,981 WHAT ARE YOU THINKING OF DOING, SHANKAR? 431 00:18:22,982 --> 00:18:24,482 YOU SAID RALPH'S BOSS 432 00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:27,494 HAD A GUY FIRED FOR BEING A HOMOSEX, RIGHT? YEAH. 433 00:18:27,487 --> 00:18:29,487 WE SEND THESE PHOTOS TO RALPH'S BOSS. 434 00:18:29,489 --> 00:18:31,489 HE GET RALPH FIRED FOR BEING A HOMOSEX. 435 00:18:31,491 --> 00:18:33,491 THAT CREATE AN OPENING WITH MICK JAGGER. 436 00:18:33,493 --> 00:18:35,663 THEY FILL THAT OPENING WITH THEIR ONLY FLOATER, 437 00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:37,655 MR. ROCKEFELLER BUTT. 438 00:18:37,657 --> 00:18:39,827 BUT WAIT A SECOND. WE CAN'T JUST OUT THIS GUY. 439 00:18:39,829 --> 00:18:42,999 WHY CAN'T WE OUT THE HOMOSEX? HE IS THE ENEMY! 440 00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:45,382 SUDDENLY ALL HOMOSEX, WE MUST BE FRIENDED TO? 441 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,125 THAT'S NOT THE POINT, ALL RIGHT? 442 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,916 THIS PARTICULAR "HOMOSEX" IS ONE OF US. 443 00:18:49,919 --> 00:18:51,589 OH! AIN'T ONE OF ME. 444 00:18:51,591 --> 00:18:53,381 WE DON'T EVEN HAVE GAY IN INDIA. 445 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,393 NO, LOOK, HE'S LIKE A-- 446 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:57,385 LIKE A WORKING STIFF JUST LIKE US GUYS, YOU KNOW? 447 00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:00,517 AND I GOT TO KNOW THIS GUY, AND I KINDA LIKE HIM, 448 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,520 IRREGARDLESS OF HIS PRIVATE, UH, WIENER BUSINESS. 449 00:19:02,522 --> 00:19:05,322 ALL RIGHT? SO WE DON'T DO THAT. WE DON'T BURN A GUY LIKE THIS-- 450 00:19:05,315 --> 00:19:08,265 A NICE GUY--THAT'S JUST NOT THE KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY WAY. 451 00:19:08,268 --> 00:19:11,268 ARE YOU WITH ME, LOUIS? 452 00:19:11,271 --> 00:19:13,401 I'M SORRY. WHAT? 453 00:19:15,275 --> 00:19:18,155 WAIT A SECOND. WAIT, HOLD ON A SECOND. 454 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,907 YEAH. WAIT A MINUTE. I GOT IT. 455 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,660 YES, EUGENE GURKIN'S BRAIN HAS FIGURED IT OUT ONCE AGAIN. 456 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,293 YES! 457 00:19:25,285 --> 00:19:28,125 RALPH SAID HIS BOSS IS CHEATING WITH HIS SECRETARY. 458 00:19:28,127 --> 00:19:31,167 SQUATCH, GET YOUR CAMERA. 459 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,960 (Hall & Oates' "Private Eyes" playing) 460 00:19:33,963 --> 00:19:37,353 ♪ PRIVATE EYES, THEY'RE WATCHING YOU ♪ 461 00:19:37,347 --> 00:19:41,177 ♪ THEY SEE YOUR EVERY MOVE ♪ 462 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,510 ♪ PRIVATE EYES ♪ 463 00:19:43,513 --> 00:19:46,153 ♪ THEY'RE WATCHING YOU ♪ 464 00:19:46,145 --> 00:19:48,645 ♪ PRIVATE EYES ♪ 465 00:19:48,648 --> 00:19:51,148 ♪ THEY'RE WATCHING YOU, WATCHING YOU, WATCHING YOU ♪ 466 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:54,270 ♪ WATCHING YOU, OOH ♪ 467 00:19:54,274 --> 00:19:57,414 ♪♪♪ 468 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,530 ♪ PRIVATE EYES ♪ ♪ WHOO ♪ 469 00:20:02,532 --> 00:20:03,702 ♪ WATCHING YOU ♪ 470 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:07,133 ♪ YEAH, THEY SEE YOUR EVERY MOVE ♪ 471 00:20:07,126 --> 00:20:09,166 ♪ THEY SEE IT, PRIVATE EYES ♪ 472 00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:11,708 SO LAST NIGHT, I'M AT THE BAR. I MEET THIS GIRL. 473 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,501 SHE'S LIKE A CROSS 474 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:17,513 BETWEEN MISS DECEMBER 1993, ELISA BRIDGES, 475 00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:21,637 AND MISS APRIL 2004, CARMELLA DeCESARE. MM-HMM. 476 00:20:21,641 --> 00:20:24,511 SO I GET HER BACK TO MY PLACE, RIGHT? AS SOON AS I-- HEY, LISTEN UP, GENTLEMEN. 477 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,654 AS OF TODAY, FRANK CORTLAND IS NO LONGER WITH BURTON SECURITY. 478 00:20:27,647 --> 00:20:29,147 HELL, YEAH. 479 00:20:29,148 --> 00:20:31,608 CARNUCCI, I WANT YOU TO TAKE HIS PLACE. 480 00:20:31,611 --> 00:20:34,981 YES, SIR. GOOD, BUT THAT LEAVES US ONE SHORT AT MICK JAGGER'S. 481 00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:37,624 VAN HOOGSTRATTEN, SEE ME IN MY OFFICE. 482 00:20:46,165 --> 00:20:48,785 WHAT IS IT? 483 00:20:48,788 --> 00:20:50,128 YOU OKAY? 484 00:20:51,831 --> 00:20:53,831 I'M IN. I'M IN. 485 00:20:53,833 --> 00:20:55,843 YEAH! 486 00:20:55,835 --> 00:20:59,175 (cheering) 487 00:20:59,178 --> 00:21:01,258 CONGRATULATIONS! 488 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:04,550 (cheering continues) 489 00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:09,734 NOW LET'S GO OUT THE HOMOSEX. (chuckles) 490 00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:15,402 WHAT? HE'S GAY. 491 00:21:15,395 --> 00:21:17,065 ♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪ 492 00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:19,396 ♪ ROBBIN' FROM THE RICH TO GIVE TO THEMSELVES ♪ 493 00:21:19,399 --> 00:21:21,279 ♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪ 494 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,450 ♪ THEY EVEN MADE A T-SHIRT ♪ 495 00:21:23,453 --> 00:21:25,283 ♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪ 496 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,504 ♪ ONE MORE TIME, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ♪ 497 00:21:27,497 --> 00:21:29,997 ♪ KNIGHTS OF PROSPERITY ♪ 498 00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:31,999 WE THE KNIGHTS, BABY. ♪ YEAH, HEY ♪ 38397

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