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1
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,310
Jackie, it must be
a relief to finally have
2
00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:07,920
The Lunch Box open again.
3
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,358
Well, it'd be more of
a relief if I had more
4
00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:12,534
paying customers
and less family,
5
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:15,450
but, uh, that guy's lasagna
really ought to
6
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,713
turn things
around for me.
7
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,193
Nobody's paying?
8
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,629
You told me tips
are better than salary
9
00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:22,935
because I won't pay taxes.
10
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,503
Don't worry, Jackie.
Our family won't stiff you.
11
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:28,289
We're bad, but we're not
"get your kids into college
12
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:30,987
on a fake rowing
scholarship" bad.
13
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,989
Those people ruined it
for the rest of us
14
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,991
who were hoping to do it
five years from now.
15
00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:37,472
Now they'll never know what
a great fencer Mark was.
16
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,388
Mom, I really need your
help with this report.
17
00:00:40,562 --> 00:00:41,780
Are you almost done
with your work?
18
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,260
Not even close.
19
00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,001
Who knew it would take
so long to do
20
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:47,569
performance reviews for
assembly line workers.
21
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,353
It's like,
"On a scale of 1 to 10,
22
00:00:49,527 --> 00:00:52,704
how great did you do
at not losing your hand?"
23
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,837
Well, did you at least
finish reading "Walden"
24
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:56,578
so we can go over it
together when you're done?
25
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,232
I meant to.
26
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,843
I'm a little behind
'cause I've been slammed.
27
00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,063
But I need to write
500 words on why Thoreau
28
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:05,326
decided to live
alone at Walden Pond,
29
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,806
and I don't understand
transcendentalism at all.
30
00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,243
Alright, well, maybe
someone here read it
31
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:10,331
and they can help you out.
32
00:01:10,505 --> 00:01:11,723
Harris, Becky?
33
00:01:11,897 --> 00:01:13,595
Uh, I started to read
the CliffsNotes,
34
00:01:13,769 --> 00:01:16,206
but they just go
on and on and on.
35
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,774
It's a classic.
Of course I read it.
36
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:20,993
That's the one about a guy
who wants to live alone,
37
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:24,736
so he decides to live on
a pond...called Walden Pond.
38
00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:26,216
Well, actually next to it.
39
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:29,350
You can only live on
a pond in the winter.
40
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:31,308
You didn't read it.
None of you read it.
41
00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:33,484
If it was "The Real Housewives
of Walden Pond,"
42
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:36,313
you'd be all over it.
43
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:39,273
Hey.
Hi.
44
00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:40,839
Have you read
"Walden" by Thoreau?
45
00:01:41,013 --> 00:01:42,450
Who by what?
46
00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:44,713
Grandpa, have you read
"Walden" by Thoreau?
47
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,018
Thoreau?
48
00:01:46,193 --> 00:01:47,716
Sure, I know Thoreau.
49
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,762
Hey, Jackie,
"Thoreau" me a beer.
50
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,329
That's it!
I'm getting everyone
51
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:53,852
in this family
a library card!
52
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,332
This ends now.
53
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,421
[ Family booing ]
You can't make us!
54
00:01:57,595 --> 00:02:00,337
Yes.
Check it out.
55
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:02,905
Oh, Swillzman!
56
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:06,343
From the cool, not so clear
waters of Gary, Indiana.
57
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:07,692
[ Chuckles ]
58
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:08,867
Do they even make
that anymore?
59
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:10,173
No, it's a cool
decoration piece
60
00:02:10,347 --> 00:02:11,783
for that vintage trailer
I'm fixing up.
61
00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:13,481
Where did you get
a vintage trailer?
62
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:16,397
I got really lucky.
A good friend of mine died.
63
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,007
Louise and I got big plans
to hit the road
64
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,356
as soon as we
get the vaccine.
65
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:20,923
Oh.
66
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:22,620
Oh, God, I wish Darlene and I
could get away,
67
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,187
but we're both so slammed.
68
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,755
Oh, babe, do you
have time to help me write
69
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:28,409
that ad for
the hardware store?
70
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,062
The PennySaver needs it
by tomorrow.
71
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:31,586
Maybe later.
72
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,065
I still need to
finish these reviews,
73
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,199
go grocery shopping,
and read "Walden Pond."
74
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,680
Let me clear my plate
so I can really concentrate on
75
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:40,334
crafting something
sophisticated enough
76
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:42,727
for the PennySaver crowd.
77
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,164
What about me?
78
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:45,295
Are you not gonna help me
with my thing?
79
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,818
What's your thing?
80
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,559
I don't have one yet.
81
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,909
You're just so busy, I want to
get a place in line.
82
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:52,955
That's it, I'm not getting
any work done here.
83
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,609
I'm gonna head
into the office.
84
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:57,481
Well, somebody liked
the lasagna.
85
00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:58,830
I'm surprised you
left the fork.
86
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,702
Yeah, it was great.
87
00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:02,878
You should really do something
about that review on Yelp.
88
00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:04,793
What review?
89
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,577
Somebody said the lasagna here
wasn't fit to feed a dog.
90
00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:08,840
I think my dog
would love this.
91
00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:11,756
It says our lasagna
tastes like
92
00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:15,717
"two car mats in a puddle of
watered-down ketchup."
93
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,371
And you still
ordered it?
94
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:20,939
I'm from Missouri.
I'm a "show me" guy.
95
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:23,986
[ Cellphone ringing ]
96
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,641
It's Louise.
She wants to make a video call?
97
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:28,077
That's weird.
98
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:30,471
Probably because
she wants a little show.
99
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:33,474
You're my daughter.
Stay in your lane.
100
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:34,953
Hey, honey.
101
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:36,868
Just a heads up,
I'm at The Lunch Box,
102
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:40,785
so keep it down if you're gonna
get fr-r-r-eaky.
103
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,744
Uh, that's
not why I'm calling.
104
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:45,007
Well, you're still
coming over tonight, right?
105
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:47,357
I mean, I haven't seen you
in, like, forever.
106
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,838
No, I can't
come over, babe.
107
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:52,057
I just tested positive
for Covid.
108
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,798
Oh, my God.
109
00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,626
Are you okay?
110
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,586
Mm, I can't smell anything,
and I'm super tired.
111
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,936
I'm gonna go lay down.
112
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,373
I'll call you later,
I promise.
113
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:04,592
Louise coming by
for lunch?
114
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,376
Maybe if she
orders some lasagna,
115
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,726
I can open
a second location.
116
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:10,859
Eh, you know her.
She's busy.
117
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:12,991
She's working on
a couple projects,
118
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:14,515
wants me to come over
and lend her a hand.
119
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:15,951
Yeah, right.
120
00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:17,474
She's just trying
to get you over there
121
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,607
so she can break her
off a piece of that Dan man.
122
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:21,870
[ Laughter ]
123
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:23,480
Oh, damn.
124
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:26,744
Louise just texted me.
She's got Covid.
125
00:04:26,918 --> 00:04:29,530
Wow! That stuff
comes on fast.
126
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:33,011
I just talked to her 10 seconds
ago, and she was fine.
127
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:35,100
No, she wasn't.
128
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,581
She called to tell you
she was sick, didn't she?
129
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,409
Yeah, but now Neville
spoiled the surprise.
130
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,716
Oh, I'm sorry, Dan.
I didn't mean to bust you.
131
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:44,588
Yeah, what the hell,
Neville?!
132
00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:47,635
As a former new guy,
welcome to the family.
133
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:57,775
♪
134
00:04:57,949 --> 00:05:06,262
♪
135
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:14,749
♪
136
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:23,148
♪
137
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,151
--Captions by VITAC--
138
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,545
I can't believe you were
ready to lie to us
139
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:30,199
and then go over
and see Louise?
140
00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:31,635
Are you insane?!
141
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,116
You cannot
go over there.
142
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:38,120
You are the poster child for
underlying conditions!
143
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:39,556
I don't want to come
downstairs one morning
144
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,166
and find you all dead
on the couch.
145
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,473
I've been traumatized enough
by you people
146
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:45,736
with your poverty
and your backward ways.
147
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:47,999
Okay, that's enough.
148
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,088
There's a lot of people taking
care of sick family members.
149
00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:52,352
You wear a mask,
and you keep your distance.
150
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,136
I'm not gonna do
anything stupid.
151
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,268
And you don't have to worry
about getting it.
152
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,140
Louise hasn't been in
the house in a week.
153
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,881
Yeah, but you're gonna be
with her all day
154
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:01,404
and then come home
and be with us?
155
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:04,146
No, I'm gonna
stay at her place.
156
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,279
If I was sick,
she'd do it for me.
157
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:10,457
[ Door slams ]
158
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:13,285
Aww. That's so moving.
159
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,983
Would you be there for me?
160
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,941
We've been dating
a couple of months.
161
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,770
Let's see how it goes.
162
00:06:20,554 --> 00:06:21,685
Harris: Do we really
have to get tested?
163
00:06:21,859 --> 00:06:23,339
Yes!
164
00:06:23,513 --> 00:06:24,601
Even though we haven't seen
Louise in a while,
165
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:26,298
it's not worth
taking a chance.
166
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:27,561
Any luck?
167
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,258
No.
168
00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:31,086
All the places that
offer rapid-response Covid tests
169
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,827
are super expensive.
170
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:36,657
There is one drive-up spot
that's only $139.
171
00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:38,920
Is that per car?
'Cause if we really
172
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:41,575
press together, we can get
eight or nine people in there.
173
00:06:41,749 --> 00:06:42,793
It's per person.
174
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,360
Damn.
175
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,884
Well, only a few of us
can afford to get tested.
176
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:49,539
Who's willing to die?
Not it!
177
00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,587
Hey, isn't there
a testing place
178
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,502
out by the swap meet
that's free?
179
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,373
Oh, yeah!
We should go there.
180
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:00,463
I've been looking for a MagicMop
and a pair of fake Ugg boots.
181
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:04,467
Hey.
Picked up dinner.
182
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:05,947
No idea what's in the bag,
183
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,863
but I know it's all from
the 99-cent menu.
184
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,431
Didn't you get my text
about Louise?
185
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,476
No, what's up?
186
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,869
She has Covid.
187
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,218
What? Are you sure?
188
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:18,916
Yeah, she tested positive.
189
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,875
And I couldn't talk Dad
out of going over there
190
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:22,877
to take care of her.
191
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:25,227
Oh, my God,
this is terrible.
192
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:26,707
I think I may have
given it to Louise.
193
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:28,796
[ Chuckling ] Oh.
What?
194
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,493
You're being paranoid.
195
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,626
You're super careful, and no one
wants to be around you.
196
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,672
You're a naturally
repellent person.
197
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:38,066
No, I-I did
something stupid.
198
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,285
I went to a hotel
a few times.
199
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,591
Oh, my God.
200
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:43,419
Are you cheating
on Ben again?
201
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:44,594
How do you find
all these people
202
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,553
who want to have sex
with you?
203
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:48,685
No, I'm not
cheating on Ben.
204
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,644
They have
an indoor pool.
205
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,689
I just hang out for an hour
or two to de-stress.
206
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,386
My psychiatrist said
it would help
207
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,606
with the anxiety attacks.
208
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:59,522
Of all the times to hang out
at a crowded pool...
209
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,089
No, it's not crowded.
210
00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,613
Then this last time,
I fell asleep in a chair,
211
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:06,268
and I woke up to
a full-on birthday party
212
00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:08,052
with a bunch of idiot
25-year-olds
213
00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:09,967
and none of them was
wearing a mask.
214
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:14,015
But I left as soon as I saw 'em,
so I figured I'd be fine.
215
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:15,712
How would
you give it to Louise?
216
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:17,453
Because I saw her
a couple days later
217
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:19,237
to see if she had
any pot.
218
00:08:19,411 --> 00:08:21,065
That helps
my anxiety, too.
219
00:08:21,239 --> 00:08:25,374
Your shrink prescribed
an indoor pool and pot?
220
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:28,464
Do you know if he's taking
new patients?
221
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:31,511
I'd just feel horrible
if anybody else got sick.
222
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,425
I got to go get tested.
223
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,210
And please don't say
anything, okay?
224
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:37,778
I'll stay away from everybody
until I get my results.
225
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,258
I'd like to
tell them myself.
226
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,173
Oh, God, how
am I gonna tell them?
227
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:44,654
You're just gonna sit
them down and tell them
228
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:47,570
you're a stupid, selfish,
narcissistic troll
229
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,180
who only
thinks about herself.
230
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,705
But, you know,
put it in your own words.
231
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,018
Louise: Who is it?
232
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:03,281
The love of your life.
233
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,936
[ Sighs ] Dan, honey,
it's so sweet of you to come by,
234
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,503
but I can't let you in.
235
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,679
I brought you groceries.
236
00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:12,073
I want to stay here
and take care of you.
237
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,814
I even got myself
a new toothbrush
238
00:09:13,988 --> 00:09:16,294
and a fresh pack
of underwear.
239
00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:20,603
It's grocery story underwear,
so manage your expectations.
240
00:09:21,299 --> 00:09:23,388
No way, Dan.
241
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,825
Go away.
242
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,654
I'm not going anywhere.
243
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:30,047
You've got Covid.
244
00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:32,963
[ Cellphone ringing ]
245
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,356
Hang on,
I got to take this.
246
00:09:34,530 --> 00:09:35,836
It's you.
247
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,229
Go home, Dan.
248
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,318
I'm not going anywhere.
249
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,973
I'm just gonna sit
out here for a while
250
00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:44,496
till you change your mind.
251
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,717
I'm not going to,
but suit yourself.
252
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:55,943
[ Music plays on TV]
253
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:58,728
Whatcha watching?
254
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,556
Some nature show.
255
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:03,124
It's about meerkats.
256
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:05,387
What are they doing?
257
00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:08,738
Standing up really tall
and looking alarmed.
258
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:17,007
What are they doing now?
259
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,706
Same thing.
260
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,404
Seems to be a big part
of their day.
261
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,366
Let me know when they do
something different.
262
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:33,067
♪
263
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,591
Give me the scoop.
Who did the bad reviews?
264
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:38,246
Look, I am a veterinarian,
not a detective,
265
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:40,204
but I did see a pattern.
266
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:42,119
Have you noticed that
the complaints are only about
267
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,252
your recent additions
to the menu?
268
00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:47,124
The schnitzel, the sushi,
the lasagna?
269
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:48,735
And?
270
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,650
And you added those
items because you were
271
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,608
competing with which
restaurants?
272
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:55,263
Um, Lanford SushiCo.,
Napolitano's,
273
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:58,614
and [German accent]
Einen Biergarten.
274
00:10:58,788 --> 00:10:59,833
Oh, my God!
275
00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:01,008
[ Gasps ]
276
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:02,357
[ Normal voice ]
Oh, my God!
277
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,750
That's the Japanese,
the Italian,
278
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:05,229
and the German restaurants.
279
00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:08,232
I'm being attacked by
the Axis Powers!
280
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,452
To be fair,
you attacked them first.
281
00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:13,324
So why don't you just go down
there and tell them,
282
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:16,197
"Let's all play fairly and may
the best restaurant win"?
283
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,852
Well, you're a child
in a man's body, but yes,
284
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:21,202
we are going
to go there.
285
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,160
And we are going to
speak our minds
286
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:26,120
calmly and honestly,
and then you're gonna pretend
287
00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:28,600
to be my lawyer,
and you're gonna
288
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:31,734
go after them like
a rabid wolverine.
289
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,475
You know, they're
almost never rabid.
290
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:36,913
Don't care, Neville!
You got a dark suit?
291
00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:39,394
Jackie, I-I-I really don't
want to do this.
292
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:41,831
This is a day of infamy.
293
00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:44,007
These people are trying
to put me out of business.
294
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,617
Are you saying
that you don't care enough
295
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,664
to stick up for me?
296
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,231
Okay, fine,
I'll be your lawyer.
297
00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:51,754
Okay, thank you, Neville.
298
00:11:51,928 --> 00:11:55,018
And I really, really need
for you to scare 'em.
299
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:58,456
Damn it, you've got that
sweet little marionette face.
300
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:02,809
Dad, you want me to make
a little breakfast for Louise?
301
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,680
You can drop it off
at her place.
302
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,508
No, damn it,
I ought to be over there
303
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:08,597
making breakfast for her.
304
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,512
She's telling me she can
handle this on her own,
305
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:11,992
but I know better.
306
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:14,646
Come on, Dad,
she's trying to protect you.
307
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:16,692
I'm sure she's
gonna get better.
308
00:12:16,866 --> 00:12:18,912
I just gave you
seven pieces of bacon.
309
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:22,306
I'm much more worried about
you than I am about her.
310
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:23,786
Hey.
311
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,788
Hey, come on in.
Have some breakfast.
312
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,572
I can't.
313
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,532
Uh, I need to tell
you guys something.
314
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,012
I heard you all had
negative tests
315
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:33,622
at the swap meet yesterday?
316
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,363
Yeah, but the fake Ugg boots
were sold out.
317
00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:38,148
Did get a pair of
Doc Martens, though.
318
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:39,715
Well, here's the thing.
319
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,717
You might all need to
get tested again.
320
00:12:41,891 --> 00:12:45,895
Last Saturday, I didn't actually
go into the office.
321
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:50,770
I spent the afternoon by myself
at the Acres Hotel by the pool.
322
00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:52,249
What?
323
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:53,773
So you went to an indoor pool
without us.
324
00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:55,252
What does your white trash
staycation have to do
325
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,080
with us getting
tested again?
326
00:12:57,254 --> 00:13:01,258
Well, it was completely empty,
and I fell asleep,
327
00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:04,218
and when I woke up,
there were a bunch of people
328
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:05,654
around me not wearing masks.
329
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,482
[ All groan ]
330
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:11,791
And ...saw Louise
three days ago.
331
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,793
What the hell, Darlene,
you got Louise sick?
332
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,620
I don't know.
I-I got tested.
333
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,231
I'm still waiting
for the results.
334
00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:19,276
Damn it, you're supposed to be
the responsible one.
335
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,757
You're the only one around
here I can depend on.
336
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:24,064
That's hurtful,
but I agree.
337
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:27,154
We're finally near the end
of this thing,
338
00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:29,417
and you choose now
to do something stupid
339
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:30,461
and put everybody at risk.
340
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:31,898
No, I know.
341
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:33,551
I've sanitized
everything I've touched,
342
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:35,423
and I'm gonna go straight
to my room and quarantine.
343
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:37,251
If anything happens
to that woman,
344
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:40,210
you and I are never
talking again.
345
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:42,299
You lied about going
to the office.
346
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:43,910
Wow.
347
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,433
Now I know why I used
your credit-card number
348
00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:46,956
to buy sunglasses.
349
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,566
It's hard without a role model.
350
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,525
Do better, Mom.
351
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,617
I can't believe
you did this.
352
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,099
Look, I know it was stupid,
353
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:01,405
but I've been feeling
overwhelmed lately,
354
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,494
and I just needed
some time to myself.
355
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:06,715
And the other times I went
there, there was nobody there.
356
00:14:06,889 --> 00:14:08,108
Other times?
357
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:10,284
Are you ever anywhere
you say you are?
358
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:11,676
Where are you going?
359
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,200
I need a little time
to myself.
360
00:14:13,374 --> 00:14:15,376
Oh, wait, I guess
I'm supposed to lie
361
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:17,639
and say that I've got
tons of work to do
362
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:19,467
and I'll be working
all night.
363
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,991
Wait, crap,
I have to do inventory.
364
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,645
I will be working
all night.
365
00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:27,257
Clearly I'm not as good at being
a bad person as you are.
366
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,651
[ Door closes ]
367
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:37,485
Hi, I'm Jackie Harris,
and I am here with
368
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:41,054
Mr. Neville Goldofsky, esquire,
369
00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:44,709
and I would like
to speak with the owner.
370
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,494
I'm the owner.
How can I help you?
371
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:50,193
Oh, well, um, I read your
little review of my restaurant,
372
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:53,762
The Lunch Box,
and even if my schnitzel
373
00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:56,025
did taste like a dirty diaper,
you wouldn't know that
374
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,027
because you've never
tasted it.
375
00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,507
I don't know what
you're talking about.
376
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,117
You know exactly what
I'm talking about,
377
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:04,642
i'mtheschnitz2021.
378
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:08,298
Look, maybe I wrote
the review, maybe I didn't.
379
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,866
Those are the chances
you take when a stew restaurant
380
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,650
suddenly starts
carrying schnitzel,
381
00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:14,217
so have a good day.
382
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,524
I didn't want to have
to do this, but --
383
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:19,309
but now you're gonna have
to deal with my lawyer.
384
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:22,878
Tell him what you're gonna do
to him, Neville.
385
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:25,837
Okay, look, i-if you
simply cease and desist,
386
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,057
then this matter is resolved.
387
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:30,016
I'm not ceasing
and desisting anything.
388
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:31,539
You may want to get back
to your restaurant
389
00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:34,281
in case you get swarmed
with a customer.
390
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:38,938
Okay, look, pal, you don't want
to see me in a courtroom.
391
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:40,200
Okay, you got
a nice house?
392
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:41,723
Yeah, I do.
393
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:42,942
Jackie, you're gonna have
a nice house.
394
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:43,855
How about a car?
You got a car?
395
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,335
She needs a car.
396
00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:46,858
I'm gonna take everything
but your shoes.
397
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,730
I'm gonna take your future
and your past.
398
00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,167
I'll take so much from you
that when I am done with you,
399
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:52,864
you will no longer exist!
400
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,562
Fine.
401
00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:56,172
It's not worth all this.
402
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,870
I'll take down the review.
403
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:00,742
[ Stifles laugh ]
404
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:03,397
Where's this guy been
hiding, huh?
405
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,225
Mama like.
406
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:09,098
You bring that energy to
the next couple of restaurants,
407
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,578
and who knows what's
gonna happen tonight.
408
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:13,146
No, I-I'm not going to
the other two places.
409
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,669
Wait, why?
You were great.
410
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,540
Well, it didn't
feel great.
411
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:18,107
I hate lying.
412
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,414
Just because I chased after
you to go out with me
413
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:22,459
doesn't mean I'll put up
with anything.
414
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,592
I-I can't do things
out of fear
415
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,768
that saying no to you
will make you leave me.
416
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:28,248
I wasn't
gonna leave you.
417
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:29,727
I didn't even know
you felt like this.
418
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,599
Well, I do.
419
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:34,384
I guess I'm just not used
to having the power
420
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,082
in a relationship.
421
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,301
Well, you did,
but you don't anymore.
422
00:16:38,475 --> 00:16:42,697
We're equals, and if you can't
accept that, then I'm out.
423
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:49,182
Say that again,
but put your back into it.
424
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:51,227
I don't want to!
425
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,186
Even better.
Let's go back to my place.
426
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,709
No, let's go
back to my place!
427
00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,450
Oh, my God,
I don't even know
428
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,452
if we're gonna make it
to the car.
429
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:02,543
♪
430
00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:05,328
How are you doing?
431
00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:07,635
Not great.
432
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,115
Do you want to
talk about it?
433
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:10,768
There's not much
to talk about.
434
00:17:10,942 --> 00:17:12,205
My girlfriend's got Covid,
435
00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:14,598
my daughter might've
gave it to her.
436
00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:17,166
Like a damn reality show.
437
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:20,822
And now they have 30 days
to fall in love.
438
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:23,129
Thanks for stopping by.
439
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,087
Why are you
moping around here
440
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:27,524
and not working on
your tiny trailer?
441
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,657
I'll help you install
that table that turns into
442
00:17:29,831 --> 00:17:31,659
a couch that turns into
a toilet thing.
443
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:34,009
It's called a Murphy john,
444
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:37,230
and it's a brilliant piece
of engineering.
445
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,362
Well, then
let's get to it.
446
00:17:39,536 --> 00:17:42,191
I thought you wanted it ready
for when Louise gets better.
447
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,324
[ Sighs ] Ifshe gets better.
448
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:47,283
Whoa, what happened
to Mr. Positive?
449
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:49,633
Why aren't you scratching
your back on a tree
450
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,158
and singing
"Bear Necessities"?
451
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,203
I don't want to think
like this,
452
00:17:54,377 --> 00:17:57,641
but I've had the rug yanked out
from under me before,
453
00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:01,602
and...well, I don't know if
I can go through that again.
454
00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:03,517
Don't give up
on her now.
455
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:06,694
Do you think she would stop
making plans if you were sick?
456
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:10,132
You think she would stop
working on a couch crapper?
457
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:12,613
Hell, no!
458
00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,397
Man!
459
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,182
Why won't anybody just
let me sit around
460
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:19,663
in my own garage and think
the worst anymore?
461
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,406
I'm sorry, you want me
to leave you alone?
462
00:18:23,580 --> 00:18:24,538
Nah.
463
00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:27,280
[ Cellphone chimes ]
464
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,630
Oh, it's Darlene.
465
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:32,459
She got the results
back from her test.
466
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:33,721
And she's negative.
467
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:34,548
[ Both sigh ]
468
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:35,940
[ Chuckles ]
469
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,681
I was pretty rough
on her before.
470
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,857
Maybe I ought to go back in
there and let her off the hook.
471
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:40,684
Nah.
472
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,251
Nah.
473
00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:47,952
Hey, how was inventory?
474
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,737
It's just like hanging out
by a pool,
475
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:53,697
except you have to count
every freaking drop of water.
476
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:55,090
I'm sorry.
477
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,310
I-I know
I should've told you.
478
00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:00,095
And I know it doesn't put me
fully in the clear,
479
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:02,010
but I just
tested negative.
480
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:05,100
Good, now we can get down to
what's really wrong here.
481
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:08,538
Your inability to tell the truth
is well established.
482
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:11,019
I mean, you're obviously
struggling with
483
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,935
some sort of disorder,
but I just don't understand why
484
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:15,763
you couldn't tell me
that you needed to get away
485
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,504
for a couple hours.
486
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:20,637
Well, with all the crap that
everybody's going through,
487
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:23,727
I just felt guilty saying that
I needed time to breathe.
488
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,294
It sounds so selfish.
489
00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:27,557
But, you know,
with the panic attacks
490
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:30,647
and the stress
of the new job,
491
00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:34,608
I'm -- I'm just
not doing that well.
492
00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:36,218
I get that.
493
00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:37,524
I need to get away, too.
494
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:39,874
We could've gone
away together.
495
00:19:40,048 --> 00:19:42,224
Yeah.
496
00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:44,095
Please don't take this
the wrong way.
497
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:45,619
[ Sighs ]
498
00:19:45,793 --> 00:19:48,143
But I needed to get away
from you, too.
499
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:49,623
I didn't say it 'cause,
you know,
500
00:19:49,797 --> 00:19:50,972
I didn't want to hurt
your feelings.
501
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:53,148
Well, okay.
Now we're being honest.
502
00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,933
Sometimes I feel like I need
to get away from you.
503
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:59,589
What a horrible thing to say
to somebody you love.
504
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:03,245
Look, we got to trust each other
enough to be honest.
505
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:07,293
Like, okay, I know
you want to avoid the toxins
506
00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:09,643
in your system,
but after you work out,
507
00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:12,167
you need to use
a real deodorant, okay?
508
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:14,125
That little crystal thing
you're rubbing on there
509
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,171
ain't cutting it.
510
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:17,694
Okay.
511
00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:19,261
Okay, good.
512
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,132
Yeah, something good's
happening here.
513
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,961
Uh, alright, my turn.
514
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,573
Alright, I don't like when
you sleep naked
515
00:20:26,747 --> 00:20:29,837
because I feel like I'm spooning
with a dirty sheep dog.
516
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,753
Good.
517
00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,843
That's enough healthy
relationship stuff for tonight.
518
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,019
I talked to Louise.
519
00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:39,325
She contact traced
on her own.
520
00:20:39,499 --> 00:20:40,978
She didn't get
Covid from me.
521
00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:42,545
Mm, okay.
522
00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:44,852
Well, considering how honest
you've been with me,
523
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,332
I will accept that...
524
00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:48,899
in writing from Louise.
525
00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:55,123
Hey, Dad,
check this out.
526
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,256
I found these vacation photos
from your dead friend
527
00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:58,779
and his wife.
528
00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:00,868
They were behind
the medicine cabinet.
529
00:21:01,042 --> 00:21:03,000
That's not his wife.
530
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,265
Neither is this.
531
00:21:06,439 --> 00:21:08,571
Oh, neither is that.
532
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:10,356
What a jerk!
533
00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:11,705
But look at all
the national parks
534
00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:14,055
he took these women to.
535
00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:16,057
[ Laughs ]
Oh, that's ironic.
536
00:21:16,231 --> 00:21:18,538
There he is
next to Old Faithful.
537
00:21:19,539 --> 00:21:21,454
Do you think
his wife knew?
538
00:21:21,628 --> 00:21:23,499
Well, it makes you wonder
if he had a little help
539
00:21:23,673 --> 00:21:25,675
falling down those stairs.
540
00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:27,677
Eh, free is free.
541
00:21:27,727 --> 00:21:32,277
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