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1
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:06,541
♪ Hump me, fuck me ♪
2
00:00:06,625 --> 00:00:08,291
♪ Daddy, better make me choke ♪
3
00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:11,125
♪ You better ♪
♪ Hump me, fuck me ♪
4
00:00:11,208 --> 00:00:12,916
♪ My tunnel loves
to deep throat ♪
5
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,250
♪ It do ♪
♪ Lick, lick, lick, lick ♪
6
00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:17,791
♪ I lick it ♪
♪ I wanna eat yo dick ♪
7
00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:20,291
♪ I do ♪
♪ But I can't fuck up my nails ♪
8
00:00:20,375 --> 00:00:21,583
♪ I can't ♪
9
00:00:21,666 --> 00:00:23,583
♪ So I'mma pick it up
with chopsticks ♪
10
00:00:23,666 --> 00:00:26,041
♪ Mouth wide open,
mouth wide open ♪
11
00:00:26,125 --> 00:00:29,750
[ Music distorts ] ♪ Mouth wide
open like I was at the dentist ♪
12
00:00:29,833 --> 00:00:31,375
Nathan: So, does anybody think
maybe we should involve
13
00:00:31,458 --> 00:00:32,958
any kind of adult?
14
00:00:33,041 --> 00:00:34,666
Most adults I can think of would
actually just make this worse.
15
00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,916
I think we just have to pull
a Greta Thunberg and step up.
16
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,166
Arianna: Oh, my God.
Greta Thunberg is so funny.
17
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:42,541
Just like how she says
everything really deadpan.
18
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:45,791
Isn't that because
she's autistic?
19
00:00:45,875 --> 00:00:47,583
Oh.
20
00:00:52,833 --> 00:00:53,958
[ Baby gurgling ]
21
00:00:54,041 --> 00:00:55,250
Thanks
for letting us come.
22
00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:57,333
It's really nice of you
to be so nice.
23
00:00:57,416 --> 00:00:59,208
Yeah, no, of course.
24
00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,208
Aww, baby.
25
00:01:07,291 --> 00:01:09,083
You ready?
26
00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:19,500
[ Cellphone swishes ]
27
00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:23,833
♪♪
28
00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:25,500
Sela: But why San Francisco?
29
00:01:25,583 --> 00:01:27,833
And to spend money on a hotelwhere it's freezing.
30
00:01:27,916 --> 00:01:29,083
Greta: It's not freezing.
31
00:01:29,166 --> 00:01:31,583
It's for a field trip for a club
I'm in.
32
00:01:31,666 --> 00:01:33,458
What club?
[ Snaps fingers ]
33
00:01:33,541 --> 00:01:34,833
Hello?What club?
34
00:01:34,916 --> 00:01:36,416
Film club.
Film club?
35
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:38,166
That's a new one.I mean, is there anything else
36
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:40,583
I should know about my daughterbefore I come home?
37
00:01:40,666 --> 00:01:45,125
Ay, cabrona,¿no le dijiste?
38
00:01:45,208 --> 00:01:46,666
You're gonna be
a grandmother.
39
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:49,000
Oh, my God.
Stop.
40
00:01:49,083 --> 00:01:50,583
She's kidding.
Stop.
41
00:01:50,666 --> 00:01:52,708
If you do that to meagain...
42
00:01:52,791 --> 00:01:54,041
[ Laughter ]
43
00:01:54,125 --> 00:01:56,291
Oh, lookat that ugly thing.
44
00:01:56,375 --> 00:01:57,708
Calm down.
It's just a hat.
45
00:01:57,791 --> 00:01:59,916
Hey, mira,
maybe your rich friends
46
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,666
at film club talkto their mothers that way,
47
00:02:01,750 --> 00:02:03,958
but you're not gonna talkto me that way, okay?
48
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,416
Not everyone gets to goto a good school
49
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:08,333
and to goto special field trips.
50
00:02:08,416 --> 00:02:09,916
You could be cleaning houses
51
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,250
or doing all kinds of workthat you would hate.
52
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,541
Sorry, Mami.
53
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,041
I'm sorry too, mija.
54
00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:17,583
I just miss you.
55
00:02:17,666 --> 00:02:18,958
And I want you to knowthat I love you.
56
00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:21,500
I love you, too,
and I miss you, too.
57
00:02:21,583 --> 00:02:22,875
And that's a boys' hat.
58
00:02:22,958 --> 00:02:24,875
So tell your tia
that clothes is one area
59
00:02:24,958 --> 00:02:27,000
that I expecta little bit more from her.
60
00:02:27,083 --> 00:02:28,500
I can't fix
all your damage.
61
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,208
What do you expect?
When I get home --
62
00:02:30,291 --> 00:02:31,708
and the lawyer saysit'll be soon --
63
00:02:31,791 --> 00:02:33,416
there's gonna besome real changes.
64
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,041
Like, big changes, okay?
65
00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:38,041
Mamita, I got to go, okay?
66
00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,041
I love you.
67
00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:41,666
♪ Oh, oh ♪
68
00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:44,375
Megan: No. No, no, no. No, stop
sign, stop sign, stop sign!
69
00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:46,333
I know.
Cripes.
70
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,583
You have got
to stop doing that.
71
00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:49,083
Doing what?
Stopping like that.
72
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:51,416
How am I stopping?
73
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:52,875
Like you're not going to.
74
00:02:52,958 --> 00:02:54,916
Except I did.
You did, yes, at the end.
75
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,708
You are so stressful.
76
00:02:56,791 --> 00:02:57,916
It is so soft.
I die.
77
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,291
Nathan: I use
Sleek & Shine leave-in.
78
00:02:59,375 --> 00:03:00,750
My hand is orgasming.
79
00:03:00,833 --> 00:03:02,875
Alright, c-can you maybe
not right now while I'm driving?
80
00:03:02,958 --> 00:03:04,083
Megan: Naomi, focus.
Yeah, rude.
81
00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:05,791
Do you hear your son
in the back?
82
00:03:05,875 --> 00:03:07,416
How is it you two can be so
sweet to each other one minute,
83
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:08,750
and then
a split second later,
84
00:03:08,833 --> 00:03:10,125
you're biting
each other's heads off?
85
00:03:10,208 --> 00:03:11,375
You're changing the subject
86
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,000
because you obviously
do hear him.
87
00:03:13,083 --> 00:03:14,291
You just don't care
'cause it's with a girl.
88
00:03:14,375 --> 00:03:15,625
I am tired of this.
89
00:03:15,708 --> 00:03:17,083
Mom, can she focus on driving
so we don't die.
90
00:03:17,166 --> 00:03:19,500
Shut the bleeping fuck --
Megan: Naomi!
91
00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:22,541
Oh!
92
00:03:22,625 --> 00:03:24,625
Get out.
I'm driving.
93
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,125
Naomi.
What?
94
00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:44,750
Be careful this weekend,
and look out for your brother.
95
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,291
Why is that
my responsibility?
96
00:03:46,375 --> 00:03:48,791
Because you are a very
responsible person,
97
00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:50,000
and I trust you.
98
00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:51,333
Excuse me.
99
00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:52,666
Should I rethink my decision
to let you go
100
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:53,916
on this trip
with your friends?
101
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,291
As far as I can tell,
102
00:03:55,375 --> 00:03:56,583
you barely even attend
meetings for this group.
103
00:03:56,666 --> 00:03:58,500
Fine, let him go
with all the gay kids.
104
00:03:58,583 --> 00:03:59,916
I hope they make him
really gay
105
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,458
and that he comes home
with a pierced ear.
106
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,250
It's my understanding that
there will be plenty
107
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,166
of heterosexual children
there.
108
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:08,458
That is what I was told.
Was I misinformed?
109
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:10,375
Honey, look,
I know it's hard.
110
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:12,916
And I do, I appreciate that,
you know,
111
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,583
you might be feeling
left out right now
112
00:04:14,666 --> 00:04:16,708
because your brother's
dating your best friend.
113
00:04:16,791 --> 00:04:18,375
They're not dating.
Yes, they are.
114
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:20,000
They're definitely dating.
Not really. No.
115
00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:21,541
Yes, they definitely are.
Not really.
116
00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:23,125
They definitely are.
They're not dating.
117
00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:26,583
Look, I see
what's going on, okay?
118
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,125
I hear the sexy talk,
119
00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:30,875
which I'm not crazy about,
okay?
120
00:04:30,958 --> 00:04:32,375
Obviously.
121
00:04:32,458 --> 00:04:35,416
But I'm looking on the
Mr. Brightside of it, you know?
122
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:38,500
I think maybe Nathan's finally
figured out what he wants.
123
00:04:38,583 --> 00:04:40,291
So just watch out for him.
124
00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:42,000
So you want him to hook up
with Arianna
125
00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:44,250
so you can think that
he's not the gay part of bi.
126
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:46,291
You just don't want him
to hook up too much.
127
00:04:46,375 --> 00:04:48,625
I mean, you know, uh,
128
00:04:48,708 --> 00:04:50,791
those aren't the exact words
I would've chosen.
129
00:04:50,875 --> 00:04:53,041
It is literally
so unfair.
130
00:04:53,125 --> 00:04:55,250
You wanting them to hook up
when you know you'd chew me
131
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:57,708
for the same exact thing,
it is so hypocritical.
132
00:04:57,791 --> 00:04:59,916
It is not hypocritical.
How?
133
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,958
Because I don't need
to explain it, okay?
134
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,291
God is my judge here.
135
00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:05,500
I wish you could hear yourself
right now.
136
00:05:05,583 --> 00:05:06,666
You'd hate it.
Can I go now?
137
00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:07,875
You know what?
138
00:05:07,958 --> 00:05:09,958
I do hear myself --
all the time.
139
00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:12,208
And you know what else?
I do hate it.
140
00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:13,250
And guess what else.
141
00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:14,500
There's another thing.
142
00:05:14,583 --> 00:05:16,500
I'm the parent!
143
00:05:17,916 --> 00:05:23,208
♪♪
144
00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:25,250
Look at her.
145
00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:27,041
Your girlfriend looks like
she's Pocahontas modeling
146
00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:28,708
for Teen Vogue.
147
00:05:28,791 --> 00:05:30,875
I bet this whole trip is so
you
can get in her pants, huh?
148
00:05:30,958 --> 00:05:32,500
She's not my girlfriend.
149
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,208
As of and since when,
bitch?
150
00:05:36,916 --> 00:05:39,875
No, no, no, do not let
your mother get in your head.
151
00:05:39,958 --> 00:05:42,500
How?
Just, like, how?
152
00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:45,125
She's gonna come back,
and it's gonna suck.
153
00:05:45,208 --> 00:05:46,791
It just is.
154
00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:49,375
Even today, even when
she's not here
155
00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:51,375
she has to control
everything.
156
00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:54,500
How am I supposed to live
my life when she comes back?
157
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:56,458
Why would I even go down
this road
158
00:05:56,541 --> 00:05:58,041
when it literally
just can't happen?
159
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:01,666
Okay, chula, I'm getting
very impatient with you.
160
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,916
If you want to go out there
and be unhappy
161
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,458
because you're scared
of getting what you want,
162
00:06:06,541 --> 00:06:09,458
be my guest.
163
00:06:09,541 --> 00:06:10,666
Share these.
164
00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:11,750
Okay?
165
00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:14,166
I love you.
Now, get out.
166
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:17,166
I need to get Angel's truck
back to him.
167
00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:20,458
Have fun on your boring
field trip.
168
00:06:20,541 --> 00:06:21,958
If you end up
at Twin Peaks Tavern
169
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:24,125
and meet a bouncer
named Ken,
170
00:06:24,208 --> 00:06:26,125
tell him
he can suck my clit.
171
00:06:28,666 --> 00:06:30,833
Aww,
I wanted to say hi to Ana.
172
00:06:30,916 --> 00:06:31,791
Sorry.
173
00:06:31,875 --> 00:06:32,833
Are you okay?
174
00:06:32,916 --> 00:06:34,791
You seem kind of somber.
175
00:06:34,875 --> 00:06:36,958
Mm, family shit.
176
00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:38,291
Oh.
177
00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:41,125
Is everything --
I don't --
178
00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:43,083
I don't really want
to get into it.
179
00:06:43,166 --> 00:06:44,500
Sorry.
180
00:06:44,583 --> 00:06:46,000
Okay.
181
00:06:46,083 --> 00:06:48,125
Be discreet.
182
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,416
Vanessa-Lynn Dolorian?
183
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:51,666
That sounds so fake.
184
00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:53,250
Kelsey Johnston?
185
00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:54,458
Kelsey?
186
00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:56,500
Not even, like, Lopez
or something?
187
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,208
Babies, come here.
188
00:06:58,291 --> 00:07:00,333
Come here, come here.
Get on, get on, get on.
189
00:07:00,416 --> 00:07:01,583
Okay, after bed check,
190
00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:03,416
we are individually
meeting at BART
191
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,208
by the hotel,
then heading to the Mission.
192
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:06,708
There are a bunch of bars
down there
193
00:07:06,791 --> 00:07:08,041
that my cousin says
are super cool,
194
00:07:08,125 --> 00:07:11,458
so we'll have our
"Girls Gone Wild" moment,
195
00:07:11,541 --> 00:07:14,250
and then hopefully
not get mugged and murdered,
196
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,666
and be back by 2:30.
Boom.
197
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:20,833
And, J, you are our Jesus
for getting these.
198
00:07:20,916 --> 00:07:22,958
Mrs. Culpepper:
Tigers, everybody, gather.
199
00:07:23,041 --> 00:07:25,416
Let's focus up.
Come on.
200
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,333
Alright.
There you go.
201
00:07:27,416 --> 00:07:29,166
Don't leave anything behind.
202
00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:31,500
San Francisco.
203
00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:33,375
Here we come, huh?
204
00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:35,666
Alright, claws up.
205
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:37,791
Look at him.
He just drops everything.
206
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:40,041
I love it.
Alright, big day, folks.
207
00:07:40,125 --> 00:07:41,875
We are taking this bus
to San Fran
208
00:07:41,958 --> 00:07:45,958
to see our very special
screening of "Paris Is Burning"
209
00:07:46,041 --> 00:07:48,708
and a Q&A with Jennie Livingston
herself.
210
00:07:48,791 --> 00:07:51,666
Now, we're gonna stop for lunch,
and after that we might even
211
00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:54,208
get to visit a place
next door called Ostrichville.
212
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:57,208
Sam: Guys, it is a huge
privilege to be doing this.
213
00:07:57,291 --> 00:07:58,708
Okay, if we want to do it
every year,
214
00:07:58,791 --> 00:08:00,208
we need to be adults
today,
215
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:05,208
meaning no homicides, no
robberies, no armed batteries.
216
00:08:05,291 --> 00:08:06,833
What about arson?
Arson is okay.
217
00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:09,500
You can do a little bit
of arson, as a treat.
218
00:08:09,583 --> 00:08:11,666
So, uh,
no crimes except arson.
219
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:14,083
Um, listen to each other.
220
00:08:14,166 --> 00:08:15,541
Listen to Mrs. C
and me
221
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:19,166
and, basically,
don't be fucking assholes. Okay?
222
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:21,416
We promise not to be
fucking assholes.
223
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,583
Oh,
and no sneaking out.
224
00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:25,208
Nothing that's gonna get you
hurt or me
225
00:08:25,291 --> 00:08:26,458
in trouble
with your parents.
226
00:08:26,541 --> 00:08:28,583
So what should we name
the bus?
227
00:08:28,666 --> 00:08:30,250
Miss Bus.
228
00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:31,833
Ooh, she's a lady.
229
00:08:31,916 --> 00:08:33,291
Oh, my God.
Wait, wait.
230
00:08:33,375 --> 00:08:34,916
The bussy.
231
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,666
Everyone,
get inside this bussy.
232
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,000
Wow, 15 of us in 1 bussy.
233
00:08:40,083 --> 00:08:42,250
That's a wide open bussy.
-You're insane.
234
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,208
I hope this bussy
doesn't stink.
235
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,583
What's a bussy? I've never heard
that expression.
And we're done with this.
236
00:08:46,666 --> 00:08:47,583
Okay, let's go.
237
00:08:47,666 --> 00:08:49,208
Seniority.
-Juniority.
238
00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:52,041
Juniority gets back seats.
239
00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:53,625
-Freshmen up front.
-Come on, let's go.
240
00:08:53,708 --> 00:08:57,500
Sam: Let's make this easy
on us.
241
00:08:57,583 --> 00:08:59,458
Be cool.
242
00:08:59,541 --> 00:09:02,000
[ Laughter ]
243
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,750
Sit with us.
We need a bodyguard
244
00:09:03,833 --> 00:09:06,125
against my literal
evil twin.
245
00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:08,375
Okay.
246
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:10,666
Mrs. Culpepper: Stuff your stuff
way back in there,
247
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,125
way back in the bussy.
248
00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:19,625
See,
I told you it'd fit.
249
00:09:19,708 --> 00:09:23,458
Alright, looks like we are
all inside the bussy.
250
00:09:23,541 --> 00:09:26,125
Let's go.
251
00:09:26,208 --> 00:09:28,541
♪ Girl ♪
252
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:34,125
♪ If they don't
know your worth ♪
253
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:40,166
♪ Tell 'em you're my girl ♪
254
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,125
♪ And anything you want
is yours ♪
255
00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:50,083
♪ Mm, yo ♪
256
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:54,458
♪ Passion burning ♪
257
00:09:55,416 --> 00:10:00,916
♪ Causing rapture of laughter ♪
258
00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:05,666
♪ Pressure building ♪
259
00:10:05,750 --> 00:10:08,291
Hey, Kelsey.
260
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,541
Don't remind me.
261
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:12,000
Bitch, don't even.
Look at this.
262
00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,666
Matt Schwartz.
263
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,291
Are you fucking
kidding me?
264
00:10:15,375 --> 00:10:18,375
But it's also like, when life
gives you a white name,
265
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:23,250
you sneak out,
and you go to the fucking club.
266
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:27,166
And you're gonna be grinding
with Riley.
267
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:28,708
And I'm literally wet,
268
00:10:28,791 --> 00:10:31,333
thinking about you guys
sharing a bed after.
269
00:10:31,416 --> 00:10:33,375
I mean,
no pressure or anything.
270
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,208
No, just, like,
if you don't get pussy tonight,
271
00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:36,875
you deserve eternal shame.
272
00:10:36,958 --> 00:10:39,958
[ Chuckles ]
273
00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:42,458
You okay?
274
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:44,166
'Cause, like,
at least you got
275
00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:47,083
a lover you can bone
if you wanted.
276
00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:48,375
Wait.
277
00:10:48,458 --> 00:10:51,041
Are you into someone?
278
00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:53,208
Always.
Who?
279
00:10:53,291 --> 00:11:00,125
Just this guy from Grindr
who's older and bad for me.
280
00:11:00,208 --> 00:11:03,041
How much older?
281
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:04,166
30.
282
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:08,750
So, like, statutory vibes
or whatever.
283
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:12,208
But it's just unfair 'cause,
like, I'm fine, you know?
284
00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:13,625
I can handle my shit.
285
00:11:13,708 --> 00:11:16,333
Like, it makes no sense
that it's rape now --
286
00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:18,958
sorry --
but in a year it's fine.
287
00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:21,083
Whatever.
288
00:11:21,166 --> 00:11:22,916
I'm gonna find a new man
at the club tonight
289
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,750
and the pheromones
will be off the chain
290
00:11:25,833 --> 00:11:27,875
and he's gonna be
obsessed with me,
291
00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:30,166
and I'm gonna forget
about this.
292
00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,750
Ew, listen to me.
293
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:34,291
I'm not judging.
294
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:37,625
Oh, you would be if I told you
the whole story.
295
00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:38,875
Well,
now you have to tell me.
296
00:11:38,958 --> 00:11:41,416
No, I can't,
I can't, I can't.
297
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,083
Anyways,
I deleted the app.
298
00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:44,291
Sorry, molesters.
299
00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,458
Chester the molester.
300
00:11:46,541 --> 00:11:47,583
Stop.
301
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:50,375
I dare you to keep
calling me that.
302
00:11:50,458 --> 00:11:51,458
Arianna: Fuck me up.
303
00:11:51,541 --> 00:11:53,791
Have you pet his hair before?
304
00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:55,666
Try it.
You'll cum.
305
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:56,666
No, thank you.
306
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:59,458
Is September 8th
a Virgo?
307
00:11:59,541 --> 00:12:01,458
Luz: What's your sign
for real?
308
00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:03,416
Um, Libra.
Nice.
309
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:04,666
Wait, do we have to know
our signs?
310
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,291
Yes, we do have to know
our signs.
311
00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:09,375
My friends got asked this
question, and they did not know.
312
00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:12,250
They just froze,
and they were like, "Bye.
313
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:14,333
We're gonna call the cops,
and we're gonna take your shit."
314
00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:15,291
Fuck.
Yeah.
315
00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:18,291
Okay, I'm Scott...
316
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:19,333
something from somewhere.
317
00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:21,125
Oh, God.
Stop it.
318
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,333
I'm Melanie Swanson.
319
00:12:22,416 --> 00:12:24,500
You are going to get us
so narc'd.
320
00:12:24,583 --> 00:12:27,041
Also, you look the youngest,
so if we get carded,
321
00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:28,833
that's already on you.
322
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:31,166
Wait, isn't Delilah
also Melanie Swanson?
323
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,500
Are you fucking
kidding me?
324
00:12:32,583 --> 00:12:34,500
Oh, my God.
I do not look the youngest.
325
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:36,666
Yes, you do.
Oh, baby, no.
326
00:12:36,750 --> 00:12:38,333
With this skin?
327
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:40,125
Be happy.
328
00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:50,791
Is that the lady that whispers
in German and cuts up sand?
329
00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:52,625
@elisa-underscore-crinkles?
330
00:12:52,708 --> 00:12:54,291
Do you follow her?
I'm obsessed.
331
00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:57,166
Have you seen the ones where
they scoop the purple sand?
332
00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:59,875
What?
No, show me.
333
00:13:04,208 --> 00:13:06,333
Ah.
God, I wish they'd stop soon.
334
00:13:06,416 --> 00:13:09,125
I have to pee so bad.
335
00:13:09,208 --> 00:13:11,333
Oh, why is this
so satisfying?
336
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,375
I know. I legit thought
I was the only person
337
00:13:14,458 --> 00:13:15,958
who liked this stuff.
338
00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:19,000
Besides, like,
the 20 million viewers.
339
00:13:21,958 --> 00:13:23,708
Rude.
340
00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:32,208
What the hell?
341
00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:34,333
[ Laughter ]
Was that you guys?
342
00:13:34,416 --> 00:13:35,875
I was like,
"What the hell?"
343
00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:38,541
[ Laughter ]
344
00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:39,541
You guys want some?
345
00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:40,708
-Unh-unh.
-Ew.
346
00:13:40,791 --> 00:13:42,041
♪ Hit that pose,
take that flick ♪
347
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,333
♪ Check your angle,
post that shit ♪
348
00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:45,500
Oh, my God.
This fucking song!
349
00:13:45,583 --> 00:13:47,583
Just bury me right now!
350
00:13:47,666 --> 00:13:49,166
♪ Hit that pose,
take that flick ♪
351
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,916
♪ Check your angle,
post that shit ♪
352
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,666
♪ Hit that pose,
take that flick ♪
353
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,791
♪ Check your angle,
post that shit ♪
354
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,750
♪ My bitch
will get on the ground ♪
355
00:13:56,833 --> 00:13:58,416
♪ Just to make sure
the light is found ♪
356
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:00,125
♪ The way she make them
angles hit ♪
357
00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:01,708
♪ She like Bill Cunningham
with that shit ♪
358
00:14:01,791 --> 00:14:03,166
♪ I mean that shot ♪
359
00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:04,916
♪ Richard Avedon,
to make me look like a don ♪
360
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,291
♪ I got so many pieces,
bitch, why not? ♪
361
00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:09,125
♪ Have me a photo shoot
right on the block ♪
362
00:14:09,208 --> 00:14:10,750
♪ I put two lanes on gridlock ♪
363
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:12,625
♪ So I could sit
in a fierce squat ♪
364
00:14:12,708 --> 00:14:14,541
♪ Spent big money
on a wristwatch ♪
365
00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:16,416
♪ I like to own tip-top ♪
366
00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:17,916
♪ Catch me in McAir, click ♪
367
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,833
♪ The only make two pairs,
click ♪
368
00:14:19,916 --> 00:14:21,833
♪ Get into this hair,
click ♪
369
00:14:21,916 --> 00:14:23,708
♪ I'm Herb Ritts with the shit ♪
370
00:14:23,791 --> 00:14:25,750
♪ Go on, Diddy,
crop that bitch ♪
371
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:27,250
♪ Annie Leibovitz ♪
372
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:28,916
♪ Go on, Diddy,
crop that bitch ♪
373
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,833
♪ I'm Herb Ritts with the shit ♪
374
00:14:30,916 --> 00:14:32,250
♪ Go on, Diddy,
crop that bitch ♪
375
00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:34,041
Together: Ohhh!
♪ Annie Leibovitz ♪
376
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:35,916
♪ All through the town ♪
377
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:40,041
Together: ♪ The skanks on the
bussy go pound, pound, pound ♪
378
00:14:40,125 --> 00:14:42,000
♪ Pound, pound, pound ♪
379
00:14:42,083 --> 00:14:43,458
♪ Pound, pound, pound ♪
380
00:14:43,541 --> 00:14:47,791
♪ The skanks on the bussy
go pound, pound, pound ♪
381
00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:51,166
♪ All through the town ♪
382
00:14:51,250 --> 00:14:53,458
♪ Go pound, pound, pound ♪
383
00:14:53,541 --> 00:14:56,708
♪ All through the town ♪
384
00:14:56,791 --> 00:15:01,375
Chiquita, hey,
want to try some fruit?
385
00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:02,958
Why do you hate
delicious fruit?
386
00:15:03,041 --> 00:15:04,625
Did a strawberry
kill your father?
387
00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:07,125
[ Laughs ]
388
00:15:07,208 --> 00:15:08,625
Sonrisa bonita.
389
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:10,125
No me gusta,
390
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:11,333
pero gracias.
391
00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:12,666
Oh, ¿eres Méxicana?
392
00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,250
Pienso que eresFrancesa o Cubana.
393
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:16,250
¿Cubana?
394
00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:17,500
Chicana to the core,
fool.
395
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,708
[ Both laugh ]
396
00:15:18,791 --> 00:15:21,333
Lo siento mucho.Perdoname.
397
00:15:21,416 --> 00:15:23,916
¿De dónde eres?Yo soy de aquí.
398
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,833
Pero mi mamáes de Guadalajara.
399
00:15:25,916 --> 00:15:28,916
Yo también. Hace cuatro añosen la universidad.
400
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,666
Estudiando comovender fruta.
401
00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:31,958
[ Laughs ]
402
00:15:32,041 --> 00:15:33,416
Vuelve después de comer,y te daré
403
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,041
el precio especialpara tapatíos.
404
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,500
Yo, MAGA alert.
405
00:15:41,583 --> 00:15:43,333
I repeat, MAGA alert.
406
00:15:43,416 --> 00:15:45,166
Shutting down
all queer activity.
407
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:46,708
So this is the day
I get murdered.
408
00:15:46,791 --> 00:15:49,125
Of everyone here, you're the one
who's gonna say that?
409
00:15:49,208 --> 00:15:50,458
I hope you're right,
though.
410
00:15:50,541 --> 00:15:53,000
Go tell that guy
you're bi.
411
00:15:53,083 --> 00:15:54,958
Why don't you go tell him
you're a virgin?
412
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:58,000
♪♪
413
00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:01,333
[ Indistinct conversations ]
414
00:16:01,416 --> 00:16:04,708
♪♪
415
00:16:04,791 --> 00:16:07,208
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
416
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:14,875
♪♪
417
00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:16,541
Can I help you
with something?
418
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,708
You guys photographers?
419
00:16:18,791 --> 00:16:20,458
Fashion bloggers?
420
00:16:20,541 --> 00:16:22,416
'Cause I can't think of any
other appropriate reason for
you
421
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:25,000
to take pictures
of my kids right now.
422
00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:31,166
Okay, here we go.
423
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:34,000
That's it.
Plenty of room.
424
00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:35,791
Uh-oh.
425
00:16:36,750 --> 00:16:41,375
I have a feeling I'm about
to be a bad girl.
426
00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:44,291
It all looks too good.
I'm doing it.
427
00:16:44,375 --> 00:16:47,625
Just don't tell
Mrs. Culpepper.
428
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:51,416
Is she married?
Or is this a third-person thing?
429
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,333
Married.
430
00:16:53,416 --> 00:16:55,250
But if you're bad,
I will tell on you.
431
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:56,750
Nathan: I would not.
432
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:58,375
Oh, please. You would --
433
00:16:58,458 --> 00:17:00,833
You would
absolutely fuck your clone.
434
00:17:00,916 --> 00:17:03,666
Not only that, actually,
you would film it
435
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,208
and then jerk off to it
later.
436
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,833
Okay, you're totally right.
I would fuck my clone.
437
00:17:06,916 --> 00:17:08,291
At first, I thought
I would, too,
438
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:09,958
but I think if my pussy
tastes weird
439
00:17:10,041 --> 00:17:12,000
I'd rather not know.
Wait, how about this one?
440
00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:14,416
Would you rather have sex
with your boyfriend
441
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,791
in your dad's body
442
00:17:15,875 --> 00:17:19,041
or have sex with your dad
in your boyfriend's body?
443
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,000
I love the Internet.
Oh, God.
444
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,791
I guess maybe Dad
in boyfriend's body.
445
00:17:23,875 --> 00:17:25,333
'Cause, like, if it looked
like my boyfriend,
446
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:26,833
I could just tell myself
that it's him, and, like,
447
00:17:26,916 --> 00:17:28,166
I don't know, fuck him
real quick, you know?
448
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:29,958
What if he moves
like your father?
449
00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:31,666
What if he smells
like your father?
450
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,625
You came to that conclusion
way too easily.
451
00:17:33,708 --> 00:17:36,208
What about you?
It's different for me.
452
00:17:36,291 --> 00:17:38,333
Which dad?
Does it matter?
453
00:17:38,416 --> 00:17:39,708
Is there one you'd rather
have sex with?
454
00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:41,208
Well, bitch,
would you rather bottom
455
00:17:41,291 --> 00:17:42,791
for your dad
or eat your mom's coochie?
456
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:46,291
Ugh, stop. I'm gonna gag.
Yeah, on your dad's dick.
457
00:17:46,375 --> 00:17:48,250
No, that's not
what I'm saying.
We're not saying
you're not people.
458
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:49,750
I'm not saying freshmen
aren't people.
459
00:17:49,833 --> 00:17:51,125
I'm just saying, like,
when I was a freshman,
460
00:17:51,208 --> 00:17:52,666
I was so fucking naive.
Oh, so naive.
461
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,541
Like, I'm surprised
an upperclassmen
462
00:17:54,625 --> 00:17:55,916
didn't straight-up
murder me.
463
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,083
They should've just ended
my life.
464
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:58,666
Same.
If I had advice for you,
465
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:01,791
it would probably be to respect
your elders, basically.
466
00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:03,291
Like, the juniors.
Just, like, give them
467
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:04,916
your place in line,
don't be in their way,
468
00:18:05,041 --> 00:18:06,500
or, like, if you get nachos
at nutrition
469
00:18:06,583 --> 00:18:08,750
and a senior wants them,
just give them your nachos.
470
00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:09,833
Or buy them nachos.
471
00:18:09,916 --> 00:18:11,083
Which is not hazing,
by the way.
472
00:18:11,166 --> 00:18:13,625
It's more of a
circle-of-life thing.
473
00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:18,625
You're only sophomores,
right?
474
00:18:18,708 --> 00:18:20,833
I don't get
what you're saying.
475
00:18:20,916 --> 00:18:22,666
What?
Were you ever a stoner?
476
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,375
Mnh-mnh.
You know you can't ask me that.
477
00:18:25,458 --> 00:18:26,625
That's a yes.
478
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:28,666
Okay, so, fine,
what can we ask you then?
479
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:30,666
If it's boring,
you can ask it.
480
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:32,250
If it's boring.
Okay.
481
00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:34,625
[ Clears throat ]
When did you know
482
00:18:34,708 --> 00:18:38,541
you wanted
to be a guidance counselor?
483
00:18:38,625 --> 00:18:40,875
But for real, when did you?
Uh, for real, for real?
484
00:18:40,958 --> 00:18:42,500
You think you can just
waltz all up in here
485
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:45,000
like Little Miss Social Worker
and give us nothing?
486
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,458
The nerve of you.
487
00:18:46,541 --> 00:18:48,375
I mean, you be extracting
vulnerable stories from us
488
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:50,416
like you Mariah
with the prosthetic nose
489
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:52,625
and we all Gabourey Sidibe.
490
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:55,500
This is all based on a novel
"Push" by Sapphire,
491
00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:57,916
which, for some reason,
is included in the title.
492
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,625
It's already a long title.
493
00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:01,666
Why did they need to include
that part, too?
494
00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:02,958
[ Laughter ]
495
00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:03,958
You crack me up.
496
00:19:04,041 --> 00:19:05,875
I'll be here all day.
497
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:11,208
-Ah. Regresaste.
-[ Laughs ]
498
00:19:11,291 --> 00:19:13,541
¿Ya me perdonaste,chiquita?
499
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:16,958
[ Speaking Spanish ]
500
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:18,208
[ Laughs ]
501
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,916
Quería versi ustedes quieren agua.
502
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,125
Hace mucho calor.
503
00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:24,208
No necesitamos agua.
504
00:19:24,291 --> 00:19:25,833
[ Chuckles ]
505
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:28,250
También tengo pan dulce.
506
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,583
¿No te vas a comer esto?
507
00:19:32,208 --> 00:19:33,875
[ Chuckles ]
508
00:19:33,958 --> 00:19:35,416
Me llamo Greta.
509
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:38,250
Arturo. Mucho gusto.
510
00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:40,666
[ Speaks Spanish ]
511
00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:44,166
Voy a un paseocon el grupo de mi escuela.
512
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:45,750
Ah, qué fancy.
513
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:47,958
Field trip.
[ Chuckles ]
514
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:49,708
Eres como mi mamá.
515
00:19:49,791 --> 00:19:53,250
Qué bueno, ¿no?
516
00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:56,166
Hey!
iQuieren pan dulce!
517
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:57,583
Gracias, señora.
518
00:19:57,666 --> 00:19:59,000
[ Laughs ]
519
00:19:59,083 --> 00:20:06,375
♪ I wonder
what the future holds for me ♪
520
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,708
♪ I wonder
if you'll always love me ♪
521
00:20:10,791 --> 00:20:12,291
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
522
00:20:12,375 --> 00:20:13,791
Mrs. Culpepper: Whereas, in
Holland, monks made crude ale.
523
00:20:13,875 --> 00:20:15,375
[ Cellphone chimes ]
524
00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:18,291
Okay, if that doesn't tell you
about the US versus Europe,
525
00:20:18,375 --> 00:20:21,625
I don't know what does, because
that's the way you do it.
526
00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:24,083
We have a great life here.
527
00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:30,375
♪ I wonder
what the future holds for me ♪
528
00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:32,125
♪♪
529
00:20:32,208 --> 00:20:39,958
♪ You said
you would always be true ♪
530
00:20:40,041 --> 00:20:48,250
♪ And that you would
never make me blue ♪
531
00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:51,750
♪ Now you tell me lies ♪
532
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:55,416
♪ So many alibis ♪
533
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,666
[ Beep, click ]
534
00:20:57,750 --> 00:21:00,041
Riley: This is porn.
535
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,500
Why can't these
really be my ass?
536
00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:05,000
Can I get a close-up of you
with one of these shirts?
537
00:21:05,083 --> 00:21:07,125
Yes, yes.
538
00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:12,750
Mm.
539
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:16,333
Aww.
540
00:21:16,416 --> 00:21:18,333
Ew, I look like I'm 10.
541
00:21:18,416 --> 00:21:20,083
Can I please keep it?
Just for me?
542
00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:21,958
I promise I won't show it.
543
00:21:26,375 --> 00:21:28,666
Sorry I was weird
this morning.
544
00:21:28,750 --> 00:21:30,166
Oh, no, th-that's fine.
It's okay.
545
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:32,041
It's just my mom.
546
00:21:32,125 --> 00:21:35,916
Like, just everything
that's going on right now.
547
00:21:38,041 --> 00:21:39,833
I kind of get it.
548
00:21:44,541 --> 00:21:46,375
[ Ostriches chirping ]
549
00:21:46,458 --> 00:21:48,375
Mrs. Culpepper:
Aren't they beautiful?
550
00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:51,083
Not only are these birds
the world's fastest animal
551
00:21:51,166 --> 00:21:54,333
on two legs, they're the only
birds that have a bladder.
552
00:21:54,416 --> 00:21:55,708
Other birds
don't have bladders?
553
00:21:55,791 --> 00:21:57,041
No, they have cloacas.
554
00:21:57,125 --> 00:21:59,333
Yeah, it's an all-purpose hole
is what that is.
555
00:21:59,416 --> 00:22:00,375
Goals.
556
00:22:00,458 --> 00:22:03,333
Ooh, grab your neck.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
557
00:22:03,416 --> 00:22:05,500
[ Laughs ] Strangle.
558
00:22:08,458 --> 00:22:09,666
What are you doing?
559
00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:10,708
[ Both laugh ]
560
00:22:10,791 --> 00:22:14,041
-Stop.
-Ow, bit my face.
561
00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,708
She bring it to you
every ball.
562
00:22:15,791 --> 00:22:18,250
Why y'all gagging,
though?
563
00:22:18,333 --> 00:22:19,541
Ooh, bitch, what?
564
00:22:19,625 --> 00:22:21,416
Ooh, she really did that.
565
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:24,708
Ooh, she did that, though.
566
00:22:24,791 --> 00:22:27,250
Mrs. Culpepper: Hey, ladies
and gentlemen, no horseplay.
567
00:22:27,333 --> 00:22:29,083
Cooper: No. No.
Oh, come on.
568
00:22:29,166 --> 00:22:30,416
You messed
with the wrong dude.
569
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:31,833
-Come on, guys.
-Hey.
570
00:22:31,916 --> 00:22:33,750
Oh, come on. Alright, alright,
that's enough.
571
00:22:33,833 --> 00:22:35,333
Attention, Tigers!
572
00:22:35,416 --> 00:22:36,375
Claws up.
573
00:22:36,458 --> 00:22:38,125
Aah! Oh, shit!
574
00:22:38,208 --> 00:22:39,666
Oh.
Motherfucker!
575
00:22:39,750 --> 00:22:40,875
Okay, okay.
576
00:22:40,958 --> 00:22:43,291
Is it bleeding?
Uh, yes.
577
00:22:43,375 --> 00:22:44,875
Squeeze it, squeeze it.
It's all good.
578
00:22:44,958 --> 00:22:46,541
Shit. Cocksucker.
579
00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:53,208
♪ Back in the city, I'm just
another girl in a sweater ♪
580
00:22:53,291 --> 00:22:57,125
♪ Been waiting for regret
to hit me ♪
581
00:22:57,208 --> 00:22:59,291
♪ Some kind of reckoning ♪
582
00:22:59,375 --> 00:23:01,666
I feel like this trip would've
gone so much faster
583
00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:04,458
if you were sitting
with me the whole time.
584
00:23:04,541 --> 00:23:06,583
Me, too.
585
00:23:06,666 --> 00:23:08,916
I hope they put us
in the same room tonight.
586
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:14,916
♪ Back in the city, I'm just
another girl in a sweater ♪
587
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,833
♪ Perpetual novice ♪
588
00:23:16,916 --> 00:23:20,791
Do you know that feeling
when a song is, like,
589
00:23:20,875 --> 00:23:24,916
not just speaking to you
but it, like, is you?
590
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,750
Definitely.
591
00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:31,333
Can I play something
for you?
592
00:23:31,416 --> 00:23:38,333
♪ Who is the you who I sing towhen the house is empty? ♪
593
00:23:38,416 --> 00:23:41,333
♪ You open the door to another
door, to another door ♪
594
00:23:41,416 --> 00:23:44,500
♪ To another door,
to another door ♪
595
00:23:44,583 --> 00:23:52,125
♪ And I'm running
through to you ♪
596
00:23:52,208 --> 00:23:55,458
♪ You open the door to another
door, to another door ♪
597
00:23:55,541 --> 00:24:00,041
♪ To another door,
to another door ♪
598
00:24:00,125 --> 00:24:08,500
♪ And I'm running
through to you ♪
599
00:24:11,125 --> 00:24:13,666
Wait, who's that?
♪ And we're waking up
sore and dizzy ♪
600
00:24:13,750 --> 00:24:14,750
No one.
601
00:24:14,833 --> 00:24:18,291
♪ From a 10-year concussion ♪
602
00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:22,708
♪ And the rainfall
makes you miss me ♪
603
00:24:22,791 --> 00:24:24,708
You're good.
604
00:24:24,791 --> 00:24:25,875
Huh?
605
00:24:25,958 --> 00:24:27,625
Didn't realize until
two minutes ago
606
00:24:27,708 --> 00:24:30,041
that you completely
got out of telling us
607
00:24:30,125 --> 00:24:32,291
why you became
a counselor.
608
00:24:32,375 --> 00:24:34,250
Mm. Did I?
609
00:24:34,333 --> 00:24:36,583
You did. Yes.
610
00:24:36,666 --> 00:24:40,958
Got to respect the skill,
but people demand answers.
611
00:24:41,041 --> 00:24:45,208
Oh, well, at the risk
of disappointing the people,
612
00:24:45,291 --> 00:24:47,291
I, uh --
613
00:24:47,375 --> 00:24:49,041
I never wanted
to be a counselor.
614
00:24:49,125 --> 00:24:50,750
What did you want to be?
615
00:24:50,833 --> 00:24:51,958
An architect.
616
00:24:52,041 --> 00:24:55,875
Only, I -- I can't draw --
at all --
617
00:24:55,958 --> 00:24:58,541
and, um, all my ideas
were for things like, uh --
618
00:24:58,625 --> 00:25:00,041
like circular houses
619
00:25:00,125 --> 00:25:03,416
or, I don't know, domed
garages,
you know, underground cities.
620
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:05,500
And what's wrong with that?
I forget.
621
00:25:05,583 --> 00:25:07,291
But a lot.
A lot.
622
00:25:07,375 --> 00:25:10,041
And the whole time I was
taking,
um, sociology and volunteering
623
00:25:10,125 --> 00:25:12,875
at a middle school,
and during that time,
624
00:25:12,958 --> 00:25:15,916
I did not want to bang my head
against a wall,
625
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,291
so here I am.
626
00:25:18,375 --> 00:25:21,375
"Condragulations.
You're a winner, baby."
627
00:25:21,458 --> 00:25:23,666
[ Medicine bottle opens ]
628
00:25:24,875 --> 00:25:28,708
Ugh, oh, ibuprofen time.
629
00:25:30,833 --> 00:25:33,458
You guys want to play
"Never Have I Ever"?
630
00:25:33,541 --> 00:25:34,833
Yes.
I guess.
631
00:25:34,916 --> 00:25:37,291
Alright, five fingers.
Wait, wait, wait.
632
00:25:37,375 --> 00:25:39,250
Can we do the rule
where you have to say "ding"
633
00:25:39,333 --> 00:25:42,208
when you put your finger down
so you can't be sneaky?
634
00:25:42,291 --> 00:25:43,375
Ooh, fuck yeah.
635
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:45,291
Oh, that's hot
when you say that.
636
00:25:45,375 --> 00:25:47,375
"Fuck yeah"?
Yeah.
637
00:25:47,458 --> 00:25:49,333
Fuck yeah.
638
00:25:49,416 --> 00:25:50,416
Fuck yeah.
639
00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:52,208
-Oh, my God.
-I'll go.
640
00:25:52,291 --> 00:25:54,500
Uh, never have I ever said
"I love you"
641
00:25:54,583 --> 00:25:55,958
in a romantic context.
642
00:25:56,041 --> 00:25:57,208
Wait, have I ever said it?
643
00:25:57,291 --> 00:25:59,375
I must've.
644
00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:02,791
Um,
now it's Cooper's turn.
645
00:26:02,875 --> 00:26:06,625
Um, never have I ever...
646
00:26:06,708 --> 00:26:09,166
uh...uh...
647
00:26:09,250 --> 00:26:10,625
I don't know.
I can't think of one.
648
00:26:10,708 --> 00:26:12,458
Just think, like,
what have you never done?
649
00:26:12,541 --> 00:26:19,250
Okay, um, never have I ever
tried to suck my own dick.
650
00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:20,625
Ding.
Checks out.
651
00:26:20,708 --> 00:26:21,791
Do you always have to take it
to a bitchy place?
652
00:26:21,875 --> 00:26:23,166
Chill.
I'm just saying
653
00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:25,333
you trying to suck yourself off
checks out.
654
00:26:25,416 --> 00:26:29,958
So, uh, what's on the horizon
for you after La Palma Cypress?
655
00:26:30,041 --> 00:26:31,500
Too many things.
656
00:26:31,583 --> 00:26:34,500
Um, living in London
maybe.
657
00:26:34,583 --> 00:26:37,958
Or Milan or Paris.
658
00:26:38,041 --> 00:26:41,041
I-I-I don't know.
I just kinda, like, feel London.
659
00:26:41,125 --> 00:26:45,166
And I kind of think
I might study psychology.
660
00:26:45,250 --> 00:26:46,916
I could see that for you.
661
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,541
Because of all the mind games
I play?
662
00:26:48,625 --> 00:26:50,458
Because you're perceptive.
663
00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:55,166
Um, but I can't just, like,
give up being into fashion
664
00:26:55,250 --> 00:26:57,333
so I don't know.
665
00:26:57,416 --> 00:27:00,250
Uh, I might study art
or literature and be, like,
666
00:27:00,333 --> 00:27:02,375
that suburban gay.
667
00:27:02,458 --> 00:27:06,041
But then there's just, like,
a lazy, dark part of me
668
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:07,541
that just wants to say,
"Fuck it all,"
669
00:27:07,625 --> 00:27:09,208
and just, like,
be an influencer
670
00:27:09,291 --> 00:27:10,833
'cause I know I could do it
with both eyes closed.
671
00:27:10,916 --> 00:27:14,208
So literary artist,
psychologist, uh,
672
00:27:14,291 --> 00:27:18,125
suburban gay influencer --
in London.
673
00:27:18,208 --> 00:27:20,250
[ British accent ] You about
to tell me I can't.
674
00:27:20,333 --> 00:27:23,166
[ Laughs ] I was about
to praise your vision.
675
00:27:23,250 --> 00:27:24,916
My closeted self
was so inside-the-box,
676
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,791
I was designing the blueprints
for the box.
677
00:27:26,875 --> 00:27:28,583
[ Normal voice ]
You sad, sad Millennial.
678
00:27:28,666 --> 00:27:30,041
Put it on my tombstone.
679
00:27:30,125 --> 00:27:31,541
Nathan: Okay, here's one.
680
00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:33,708
Never have I ever,
681
00:27:33,791 --> 00:27:35,791
oh, gotten period stains
on my pants while rock climbing.
682
00:27:35,875 --> 00:27:38,250
Seriously?
Yeah. Anyone? Anybody?
683
00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:40,583
No?
Ding.
Alright, I'll go next.
684
00:27:40,666 --> 00:27:43,416
Never have I ever had
a JoJo Siwa sweatshirt
685
00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:45,041
two years ago
when I was 14.
686
00:27:45,125 --> 00:27:46,541
[ Laughter ]
687
00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:48,083
Are you gonna say "ding"?
688
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:49,416
Ding.
Never have I ever --
689
00:27:49,500 --> 00:27:50,750
Never have I ever shown
my vagina to
690
00:27:50,833 --> 00:27:52,041
the mailman when we were kids.
-Why?
691
00:27:52,125 --> 00:27:53,416
-What?
-Never have I ever hooked up
692
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:55,041
with my sister's
childhood best friend
693
00:27:55,125 --> 00:27:56,875
'cause I think with my tiny dick
instead of my tiny brain.
694
00:27:56,958 --> 00:27:58,166
Okay,
that's kind of mean.
695
00:27:58,250 --> 00:27:59,708
Never have I crashed
into a garbage can
696
00:27:59,791 --> 00:28:01,083
'cause I can't fucking drive
and started sobbing
697
00:28:01,166 --> 00:28:02,500
in the car
literally this morning.
698
00:28:02,583 --> 00:28:06,208
Never have I ever gotten
cum in my eye.
699
00:28:06,291 --> 00:28:08,958
-What?
-Wait. Wait.
700
00:28:09,041 --> 00:28:11,916
Cooper: Wait, Nathan, so, was it
yours or someone else's?
701
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:16,875
And by my 40s, I'mma have a full
London townhouse and all that.
702
00:28:16,958 --> 00:28:19,416
Butler, coat of arms.
703
00:28:19,500 --> 00:28:21,708
How old are you now?
17?
704
00:28:21,791 --> 00:28:24,750
Not for much longer,
but yeah.
705
00:28:24,833 --> 00:28:26,416
Just 'cause, you know, how kids
want to pretend
706
00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:30,875
they're older,
get away with things, you know?
707
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,750
[ Rattling, thudding ]
708
00:28:32,833 --> 00:28:34,833
[ Tires squealing ]
709
00:28:34,916 --> 00:28:37,625
Sam: Is everyone okay?
Is anyone hurt?
710
00:28:37,708 --> 00:28:39,250
[ Indistinct conversations ]
711
00:28:39,333 --> 00:28:42,708
Can you all please check
on each other?
712
00:28:58,791 --> 00:29:01,125
♪ I've been looking
for someone ♪
713
00:29:01,208 --> 00:29:03,291
♪ And you might be the one ♪
714
00:29:03,375 --> 00:29:05,458
♪ I can't describe
the feeling ♪
715
00:29:05,541 --> 00:29:08,041
♪ So I wrote you this song ♪
716
00:29:08,125 --> 00:29:10,416
♪ I've been looking
for someone ♪
717
00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:12,541
♪ And you might be the one ♪
718
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:15,875
♪ I can't describe the feeling,
so I wrote you this song ♪
719
00:29:15,958 --> 00:29:17,375
[ Rapping ] ♪ Yeah, told you
that I'm fine, I'm alright ♪
720
00:29:17,458 --> 00:29:19,250
♪ You don't have to
ask me twice ♪
721
00:29:19,333 --> 00:29:21,166
♪ I've been looking for someone,
I've been looking all my life ♪
722
00:29:21,250 --> 00:29:23,291
♪ Asked a girl in every country,
but no one to be my wife ♪
723
00:29:23,375 --> 00:29:24,666
♪ I been feeling hella hungry ♪
724
00:29:24,750 --> 00:29:25,916
♪ With some food still
on my knife ♪
725
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,666
♪ I say ♪
726
00:29:27,750 --> 00:29:30,083
[ Singing ]
♪ We could stay at mine ♪
727
00:29:30,166 --> 00:29:34,416
♪ But you would have to leave
before nine ♪
728
00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:35,958
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
729
00:29:36,041 --> 00:29:38,375
♪ Don't say you like me ♪
730
00:29:38,458 --> 00:29:40,583
♪ I pray you might be ♪
731
00:29:40,666 --> 00:29:45,333
♪ The one I should stay with
for the rest of my life ♪
732
00:29:45,416 --> 00:29:47,750
♪ Don't say you like me ♪
733
00:29:47,833 --> 00:29:49,916
♪ I pray you might be ♪
734
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:54,708
♪ The one I should stay with
for the rest of my life ♪
735
00:29:54,791 --> 00:29:57,125
♪ I've been looking
for someone ♪
736
00:29:57,208 --> 00:29:59,291
♪ And you might be the one ♪
737
00:29:59,375 --> 00:30:01,541
♪ I can't describe
the feeling ♪
738
00:30:01,625 --> 00:30:04,000
♪ So I wrote you this song ♪
739
00:30:04,083 --> 00:30:06,125
♪ I've been looking
for someone ♪
740
00:30:06,208 --> 00:30:08,625
♪ And you might be the one ♪
741
00:30:08,708 --> 00:30:10,666
♪ I can't describe
the feeling ♪
742
00:30:10,750 --> 00:30:14,083
♪ So I wrote you this song ♪
51223
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