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1
00:00:01,980 --> 00:00:04,930
So yeah, I'm throwing
a Cat-A-Versary party,
2
00:00:04,933 --> 00:00:07,499
because the café's been open
a year, can you believe it?
3
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,160
It's a fundraiser for
the Humane Society.
4
00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:10,299
There'll be cats in costumes
5
00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:12,178
and a photo booth and kettle corn.
6
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,544
Kettle corn? You should
have led with that. I'm in.
7
00:00:14,545 --> 00:00:16,500
Great. So, uh...
8
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:17,892
how's tall and grumpy doing?
9
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:19,760
Oh, he's a pure delight around me,
10
00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:21,320
but when I mentioned you earlier,
11
00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:23,648
he clenched his fist so hard
he broke the soda gun.
12
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:26,277
Well, I am undeterred.
13
00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:32,320
Hey, Max, I-I'd love to see you
at my Cat-A-Versary party.
14
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:38,288
Uh, Carter's gonna be there,
my mom's coming.
15
00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:40,249
She's auditioning for the musical Cats
16
00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:42,259
at the community theater, so
she's been spending a lot of time
17
00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,752
at the café to research cat behavior.
18
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,631
Here's your coffee, Mother.
19
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,638
Look, I get that you're
still upset with me
20
00:00:52,639 --> 00:00:54,095
for reaching out to your ex-girlfriend
21
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,431
while on sleeping medication
not prescribed to me, but...
22
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,569
Oh, men's room? Ha.
23
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:00,380
Still undeterred.
24
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,630
Deterred. Definitely deterred.
25
00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:09,695
- Wow, that looks amazing.
- Thanks.
26
00:01:09,716 --> 00:01:12,488
- _
- I've been doing squats.
27
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,825
Katharine, please help me
get this feline off my lap.
28
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,659
Oh, Mr. Mousekers never falls
asleep in someone's lap.
29
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:19,679
Well, he's been here quite a while,
30
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,879
and now I have to use the ladies' room,
31
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,240
and his weight is pressing
on my bladder.
32
00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:24,660
Please don't bring up his weight.
33
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,440
He just got his confidence back up.
34
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:29,673
Mr. Mousekers...
35
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,551
Uh-oh.
36
00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:33,843
What's wrong?
37
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,300
- Mommy?
- Yes?
38
00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:39,920
I don't think Mr. Mousekers is sleeping.
39
00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:41,184
Oh...
40
00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:43,688
Well, I hate to be the
bearer of bad news,
41
00:01:43,689 --> 00:01:45,849
but the oven just crapped out.
42
00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:49,300
I mean, honestly, can you think
of anything worse to happen
43
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,196
before our Cat-A-Versary party?
44
00:01:53,820 --> 00:01:57,019
♪
45
00:01:57,020 --> 00:01:59,827
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
46
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:03,409
Kat, he was old, but you
gave him a great life.
47
00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:05,180
Every time he would lay on your laptop,
48
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,289
you would just stop working
so he could sleep there.
49
00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:09,079
PHIL: And then you bought
him his own computer
50
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,775
so he could lay right by you.
51
00:02:10,776 --> 00:02:12,549
Which I'd like to call dibs on.
52
00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:15,761
Not the time.
53
00:02:15,786 --> 00:02:17,960
I just have that same
heavy feeling in my heart
54
00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:19,819
that I had when my dad died.
55
00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,260
And, disturbing coincidence,
56
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,519
they both died on top of my mother.
57
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:28,230
Well, just remind yourself
it's a cat and not a person.
58
00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:29,840
Uh-oh.
59
00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:34,279
Yeah, I know it's a
cat and not a person.
60
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,988
A cat that I loved very deeply.
61
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,990
The first cat I rescued.
62
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,209
The only cat who knew
how to pee on a potty.
63
00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:41,699
And do you know who
taught him to do that?
64
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:44,479
No one. He learned just by
observing human behavior.
65
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,040
He was that smart.
66
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:49,001
Okay, I'm sorry. That came out wrong.
67
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,714
I'm just... I'm gonna go
upstairs for a little bit.
68
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:54,717
Alone.
69
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,880
Randi, I'm having Mr.
Mousekers cremated.
70
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,679
(WHISPERING): Can you pick
up his ashes later today?
71
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,060
There's nothing I'd rather do.
72
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,519
Well, there are some things,
but once again, not the time.
73
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,396
And I'm gonna cancel the party.
74
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,323
I don't even care if I don't
get my deposit back
75
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,608
on that ice cat sculpture.
76
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,810
I didn't want to burst her bubble,
77
00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:18,320
but I'm the one who taught
that cat to pee on the terlet.
78
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,260
Ooh, this is a nice surprise.
79
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,792
A hot chick and a gift?
80
00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:30,840
A hot chick, yes. Gift, no.
81
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,460
These are Mr. Mousekers' ashes.
82
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,379
The pet crematorium is
only two blocks away,
83
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,840
so I figured I'd stop by.
84
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,093
You didn't figure you should
leave those in the car?
85
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,800
No way! What if his cat ghost got out
86
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:41,919
and started haunting my car,
87
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,433
changing my radio
presets to smooth jazz?
88
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:45,900
Great,
89
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,999
now I'm thinking about a dead cat
more than I'm thinking about stuff
90
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,229
that we're not supposed to talk
about in front of our friends.
91
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,398
So you're complaining that I stopped by?
92
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,985
Get in here with your dead cat.
93
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,940
I came up to bring you some dinner
94
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,577
and to tell you I think you
should go ahead with the party.
95
00:04:03,578 --> 00:04:08,140
Oh, I can't. I've suffered a great loss.
96
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,400
I'm also still really upset that
Oscar felt the need to point out
97
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,460
that animals are not people.
98
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,840
I mean, obviously, if my
house was burning down,
99
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,659
and I could only grab
the baby or the cat,
100
00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:18,800
you know what I'd do.
101
00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:21,259
- Grab the baby?
- What baby, Phil?!
102
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,580
The imaginary baby?
103
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,389
No, I'd grab the real cats. All of them.
104
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:29,100
Okay, I know you're in mourning,
but where I come from,
105
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,198
even a funeral is a big party
to celebrate someone's life.
106
00:04:33,199 --> 00:04:34,858
You know, connect with each other
107
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:37,440
over memories of the one we lost.
108
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:40,864
In my family, we called
them "fun-erals,"
109
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,079
- Fun-erals?
- Yeah, we'd all get together,
110
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,699
eat food, we'd sing hymns
111
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,913
with the Crumpler Bluegrass Band.
112
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,640
Well, that's nice, Phil, but I just...
113
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:53,043
I don't think I'm there yet.
114
00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:55,880
- Oh.
- Also, your relentless positivity
115
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,048
is annoying me a little bit.
116
00:04:58,049 --> 00:04:59,882
Well, roger that.
117
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,620
I'll check on you tomorrow.
118
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,720
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Still open, Phil.
119
00:05:07,729 --> 00:05:09,726
MAX: Hey.
120
00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:12,880
Hey...
121
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,760
Heard about Mr. Mousekers.
122
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,600
Remember when my dog Winston
died back in college?
123
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:28,109
We stayed up all night
and told Winston stories.
124
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,480
I remember we polished
off a bottle of bourbon,
125
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:33,740
and I fell asleep with my legs
sticking out of your doggy door
126
00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:35,126
because I was so hot.
127
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:37,545
Well, I'm here to return the favor.
128
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,044
- Oh.
- It's the good stuff.
129
00:05:39,045 --> 00:05:41,740
Don't mention it to Carter.
I told him I dropped it.
130
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,520
And then he jumped up on the couch
131
00:05:46,540 --> 00:05:48,179
and dropped that little
felt mouse in my lap.
132
00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:50,560
And I was actually having
a crappy day and I thought,
133
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:53,195
"Thanks, dude, that helps." (CHUCKLES)
134
00:05:53,196 --> 00:05:55,174
He did that to me once with a real mouse
135
00:05:55,175 --> 00:05:56,700
with its head chewed off.
136
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,650
I thought, well, it's the
thought that counts.
137
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,580
Well, chewed mice aside,
138
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,397
sometimes I think animals
are better than people.
139
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:07,326
Or at least easier to get along with.
140
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,220
I wish a million times over
141
00:06:12,226 --> 00:06:13,915
that I hadn't contacted Brigitte.
142
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:17,093
She forwarded me the
e-mail you sent her.
143
00:06:17,094 --> 00:06:19,499
It was actually very complimentary.
144
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,699
Some of it was... (LAUGHS)
145
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:23,459
... was in Old English.
146
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:25,980
You kept saying I was "a truepenny"
147
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,879
and "straight-fingered."
148
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,920
I was so out of it.
149
00:06:29,940 --> 00:06:32,442
I even sent an e-mail to the government
150
00:06:32,443 --> 00:06:35,228
asking for jury duty.
151
00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,955
Luckily it didn't go through
152
00:06:36,956 --> 00:06:39,658
'cause I had just typed
in, "To Government."
153
00:06:39,659 --> 00:06:42,151
(BOTH LAUGH)
154
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:45,931
Hey, at least now I know
where Brigitte stands.
155
00:06:45,932 --> 00:06:47,949
And it is kind of freeing.
156
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:50,100
That's exactly how I felt
when you rejected me.
157
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,529
Free!
158
00:06:51,530 --> 00:06:53,820
Well, let me know if you ever
need me to reject you again.
159
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,279
Yeah, I don't think I'll ever
need you to do that again,
160
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,167
but thanks for the offer.
161
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,419
You know I'm kidding, right?
162
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,880
Of course I know you're kidding.
163
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:04,216
It's what we do. We kid.
164
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,010
Wow, it is late.
I should-I should probably go.
165
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,179
Yeah, me, too.
166
00:07:13,180 --> 00:07:15,360
- Uh, you live here.
- Yeah, that sounds about right.
167
00:07:18,180 --> 00:07:20,960
All right, I just need to grab
one part out of the truck
168
00:07:20,980 --> 00:07:23,318
- and you will be good to go.
- Will I?
169
00:07:23,336 --> 00:07:25,972
'Cause you've been working
on that oven for five hours.
170
00:07:25,973 --> 00:07:28,991
I'm beginning to think you're
the one missing a part, Ray.
171
00:07:28,992 --> 00:07:30,820
Hey, ovens are like women.
172
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,243
You can't always get 'em to
cook when you want 'em to.
173
00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:35,859
I bet your wife loves
crawling into bed with you
174
00:07:35,860 --> 00:07:37,909
after you make comments like that.
175
00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:40,209
Joke's on you, I'm divorced.
176
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:43,045
Hey, Phil. Oh, Ray, is the oven working?
177
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,090
No, but Ray is working my nerves.
178
00:07:45,103 --> 00:07:47,205
Don't listen to this little doughboy.
179
00:07:47,206 --> 00:07:49,259
Thems are fighting words, Ray!
180
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,480
No, these are fighting words.
181
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,967
I don't think your mama used enough
yeast when she made you,
182
00:07:52,968 --> 00:07:54,682
'cause you never finished rising.
183
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,720
Don't you talk about my mama's yeast!
184
00:07:56,740 --> 00:07:58,352
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa!
185
00:07:58,353 --> 00:08:00,159
Gentlemen, we could all be dead
186
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,189
in someone's lap tomorrow;
let's not fight.
187
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,525
Ray, can you fix the oven by tomorrow?
188
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:05,529
I can fix it before that
189
00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:07,748
as long as doughboy stays in his can.
190
00:08:07,749 --> 00:08:11,258
- Hey, leave Phil alone.
- Yeah, leave Phil alone!!
191
00:08:11,259 --> 00:08:13,409
I have such a crush on him.
192
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,746
What? You were just fighting with him.
193
00:08:15,747 --> 00:08:18,340
Yeah, fighting my feelings for him.
194
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:20,059
I don't know what is going on, Kat,
195
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:22,040
but when he showed up to fix that oven,
196
00:08:22,050 --> 00:08:23,580
something deep inside of me
197
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,922
said we were meant to be together.
198
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:30,780
I'm very interested, very invested,
199
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,670
but can we table that for now?
200
00:08:32,696 --> 00:08:34,172
Sure.
201
00:08:34,173 --> 00:08:37,502
I came in to tell you that
the party is back on.
202
00:08:37,503 --> 00:08:39,433
But I'm changing it to a fun-eral.
203
00:08:39,434 --> 00:08:41,639
You were right. Loss can connect people.
204
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,272
It got me and Max talking again.
205
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,479
I am so happy to hear that.
206
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,120
Maybe if I dust my banjo off,
207
00:08:47,140 --> 00:08:48,800
I can get you and Max to sing
208
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,447
some of my favorite
hymns at the fun-eral.
209
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,239
I would be honored.
210
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,759
All right, I'm gonna
go to the craft store
211
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,452
and get some supplies
for a memorial board.
212
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,500
I might even pick up a
new 3-D jigsaw puzzle
213
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,624
'cause I've been through a
lot and I think I deserve it.
214
00:09:00,625 --> 00:09:03,180
Randi, did you get Mr. Mousekers' ashes?
215
00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:06,045
Yeah, I got 'em. I got 'em.
216
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,550
Are you sure? 'Cause you said that
217
00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:08,631
like maybe you don't got 'em.
218
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,359
I said, yeah, I got 'em,
219
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,953
and then I repeated "I got 'em"
220
00:09:11,954 --> 00:09:13,600
upstairs in my purse,
221
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,596
'cause that's where I got 'em at.
222
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:18,849
Okay, great. Uh, Phil, get her
up to speed on the fun-eral.
223
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:22,060
If it's a fun funeral, I'm up to speed.
224
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:28,009
Hey, I think I left my box of cat ashes
225
00:09:28,010 --> 00:09:29,190
at your house last night.
226
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,470
Yeah, you did, which explains
why Mr. Mousekers
227
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,515
was a fortune-teller in
my dream last night.
228
00:09:33,516 --> 00:09:36,492
He told me I was good in
bed. What do you think?
229
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,411
Tell me you brought that damn box.
230
00:09:38,427 --> 00:09:39,950
Hang tight.
231
00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:42,079
Uh-oh.
232
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,089
What?
233
00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:44,875
Don't be mad, the box is in the car.
234
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,335
Okay, so just go get it.
235
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,728
Here's where the mad part comes in.
236
00:09:47,729 --> 00:09:49,960
When I say "the" car,
I don't mean my car.
237
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,925
See, my car's in the shop, so
I took a ride service to work,
238
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,845
so it's in that car.
239
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,763
Ask me if you're good in bed again.
240
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,808
I don't want to.
241
00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:07,800
I am doing my best with this tiny oven,
242
00:10:07,820 --> 00:10:09,593
but it's like trying to paint a barn
243
00:10:09,594 --> 00:10:10,777
with a Q-tip.
244
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,031
- Hey, is, uh, Kat home?
- Hey, Oscar.
245
00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:17,240
No, she's still out shopping
for the fun-eral.
246
00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:19,779
I came by to apologize for
the thing I said earlier
247
00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:21,202
about cats not being people.
248
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,800
The florist was also pretty pissed
when I told her the story,
249
00:10:23,820 --> 00:10:26,332
so apparently,
I've really hit a nerve here.
250
00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:28,300
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
251
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,519
she's gonna be way more pissed
252
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,039
when she finds out I'm responsible
253
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,679
for Mr. Mousekers' ashes
being left in a car service
254
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,589
and the driver's not texting me back.
255
00:10:35,590 --> 00:10:37,879
(LAUGHS) Oh, that is way
worse than my thing.
256
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,130
Thanks for taking the heat off.
257
00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:44,520
(BANJO PLAYING)
258
00:10:44,540 --> 00:10:48,400
Sounds like a 12-fingered
angel is playing my banjo.
259
00:10:48,420 --> 00:10:50,090
Huh, Tucks?
260
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:57,782
(LAUGHS): I'll be damned, Ray.
261
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:02,203
You're like one of them idiots
who can do one amazing thing.
262
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,913
This your banjo?
263
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:07,917
Yeah. But run your fingers
up and down it all you want.
264
00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,752
Excuse me?
265
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:11,504
Oh, nothing.
266
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,379
Aren't those flowers
Oscar brought you nice?
267
00:11:16,380 --> 00:11:17,439
Honestly, I've never been much
268
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,260
of a "flowers as a gift" type of person.
269
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,931
It's just another thing to watch die.
270
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,601
Damn, you're kind of bitchy
when your cat dies.
271
00:11:24,602 --> 00:11:25,880
You know what doesn't die?
272
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,478
That bourbon Max brought me.
273
00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,979
Uh-oh. What's your point?
274
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:33,380
I'm just saying that it's
interesting to compare
275
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,620
the way Oscar handled this
tragic event in my life
276
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,109
to the way Max has handled it.
277
00:11:38,110 --> 00:11:39,320
No, no, no, no, no.
278
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:41,533
You cannot compare
Oscar and Max like that.
279
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,279
Max is not your boyfriend,
280
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,329
and by his own admission, never will be.
281
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,620
I know, but there was this moment
282
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,520
when Max and I were talking last night
283
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:52,503
that I thought maybe
he was gonna kiss me.
284
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:55,465
You thought I was gonna kiss
you last margarita night.
285
00:11:55,466 --> 00:11:56,900
You leaned in.
286
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,618
Kat, grief makes people
feel confusing things.
287
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:05,015
You have to calm yourself,
close your eyes
288
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,934
and focus on the guy
you're getting naked with.
289
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:10,140
(CHUCKLES) I can do that.
290
00:12:12,180 --> 00:12:14,500
Uh, Wyatt, this is a memorial board
291
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,700
for the pets who have left us too soon.
292
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:17,940
That's a human.
293
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,949
It's my grandma. Her name was Lassie.
294
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,060
Here are the words to the hymn
in case you get choked up
295
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,279
and don't remember them.
296
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,399
Oh, I'm done being sad, Phil.
297
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,299
I mean, look how well this is going.
298
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,293
Everyone loves the memorial board.
299
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:34,795
Lot more iguanas than I
thought there would be.
300
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,673
- Yes. Must have been that cold snap.
- (CHUCKLES)
301
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,409
(PHONE CHIMES)
302
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:41,480
Oh, no.
303
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,580
Oscar's gonna be late
'cause he has a work thing?
304
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,700
(GROANS) I mean, who's
gonna squeeze my hand
305
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:48,340
before I recite my poem?
306
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,679
You know, I'm still annoyed at him,
307
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:51,854
but I'm not above using
him for physical comfort.
308
00:12:51,855 --> 00:12:55,223
Well, I can do it, but it ends
with the hand squeeze.
309
00:12:55,224 --> 00:12:56,442
(LAUGHS SOFTLY)
310
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:59,278
- Hello, Katharine.
- Oh, Mother.
311
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,071
Geez. You scared me.
312
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,279
You look just like Mr. Mousekers.
313
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,680
He was my inspiration.
314
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:08,538
It was easy since I can't get his
dead little face out of my head.
315
00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:11,200
You know, I felt a bit traumatized,
316
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:13,140
since he died right in my lap.
317
00:13:13,170 --> 00:13:15,240
I felt like maybe he was tagging me.
318
00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:17,339
"Hey, lady, you're next."
319
00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:19,955
It crossed my mind as well.
320
00:13:19,956 --> 00:13:23,622
Then, while I was belting out
"Memory" at my audition,
321
00:13:23,623 --> 00:13:25,220
I had another thought.
322
00:13:25,249 --> 00:13:28,879
Maybe Mr. Mousekers was
looking for a-a special place
323
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:29,890
to cross over.
324
00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:32,758
Maybe he came to me for comfort.
325
00:13:32,759 --> 00:13:34,882
He trusted me.
326
00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:36,559
That's beautiful.
327
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,320
Yes, that's what they
said at the audition.
328
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:39,980
They cast me on the spot.
329
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:42,029
Not the role I auditioned
for... it was too young...
330
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,697
but I still get to crawl around
331
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:45,042
and interact with the audience
332
00:13:45,043 --> 00:13:46,740
- before the show.
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)
333
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:50,496
So, you're more of a dog person, huh?
334
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,997
Yeah, I guess so.
335
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,042
Hmm. You had a dog, you act like a dog.
336
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,711
Are you being funny or mean?
What's happening?
337
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,400
What's happening is you're showing up
338
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:02,000
at my girl Kat's place with
your booze and your hair
339
00:14:02,020 --> 00:14:04,259
and your big old teeth
and confusing her,
340
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,929
making her think you're gonna kiss her.
341
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,180
- Did she say that?
- CARTER: Randi.
342
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,766
I need to talk to you.
343
00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,100
E-Excuse me.
344
00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,039
Carter and I have
never spoken privately,
345
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,780
so this must be important.
346
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,930
Stay, dog.
347
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,340
The ashes are two hours away.
348
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,530
Says traffic's real bad on the highway.
349
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:24,740
Well, then text him back
350
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,283
and tell him a real man would
be driving on the grass.
351
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,740
It's all good. I got us covered.
352
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,871
We'll tell Kat the ashes are in here.
353
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,739
That looks like it was
painted by a child.
354
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,420
Well, C.J. made it for
me for Father's Day.
355
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,377
I even filled it with rice so
the weight would be right.
356
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,462
- (RICE SHAKING)
- This sounds like rice.
357
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:43,048
Well, you only thinking about
rice 'cause I said it was rice.
358
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,592
Hey, Randi, I'm about
to start the memorial.
359
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,137
I need Mr. Mousekers' ashes.
360
00:14:47,138 --> 00:14:48,520
Makes sense.
361
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,100
Uh, can I have them?
362
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,740
Of course.
363
00:14:54,746 --> 00:14:57,146
They said not to shake it,
out of respect.
364
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:59,618
Uh, this is not the box that I ordered.
365
00:14:59,619 --> 00:15:02,100
I ordered a-a pretty one made of walnut
366
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,020
with a plaque and little paw prints.
367
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,790
Well, they said this
was the temporary one,
368
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,460
because the nice one takes a while.
369
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,059
Yeah, because there's
a walnut wood shortage.
370
00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:13,163
Makes you think, we really
only have one Earth.
371
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,169
I'd like to thank you all
for coming here today
372
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,829
to celebrate the furry friends
we've loved and lost.
373
00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:25,700
Oh, uh, quick announcement,
374
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:27,640
I did extend the kettle corn guy
375
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,050
for another 30 minutes.
376
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:31,096
Thank you, sir. No need for pushing.
377
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,265
It's just sweet popcorn.
378
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:38,619
Um, I've written a poem to
honor my cat Mr. Mousekers,
379
00:15:38,620 --> 00:15:41,483
whose passing inspired
this beautiful gathering.
380
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:48,380
"God, feed my cat smoked salmon up there
381
00:15:48,383 --> 00:15:50,838
"and take him on long drives,
382
00:15:50,839 --> 00:15:53,449
"and tell him just how great he was
383
00:15:53,450 --> 00:15:55,640
"in all of his nine lives.
384
00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:57,727
"Make the days real bright for him
385
00:15:57,728 --> 00:15:59,900
"so he can lie out in the sun.
386
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,860
"Oh, and get a laser pointer.
387
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,420
"He thinks that's really fun.
388
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:06,160
"If you lose him, don't be frightened.
389
00:16:06,180 --> 00:16:08,309
"He's probably in a drawer.
390
00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:10,380
"Or sitting in a box somewhere.
391
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,347
"He thinks that's what they're for.
392
00:16:12,348 --> 00:16:13,820
Love you, Lassie.
393
00:16:15,016 --> 00:16:18,739
"I know you're awfully busy
and have many pets to love,
394
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,840
"but tell mine that I miss him
395
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:23,358
- and give him an extra hug."
- (APPLAUSE)
396
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,680
All right, now I'd like to invite
some friends to join me up here
397
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:32,158
- and liven things up a little bit.
- (BANJO PLAYING)
398
00:16:32,170 --> 00:16:34,540
♪ Some glad morning ♪
399
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,643
♪ When this life is over ♪
400
00:16:36,644 --> 00:16:40,903
♪ I'll fly away ♪
401
00:16:40,904 --> 00:16:45,295
♪ To the home on God's celestial shore ♪
402
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:49,339
♪ I'll fly away ♪
403
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:53,820
♪ I'll fly away, oh ♪
♪ Glory ♪
404
00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:56,700
♪ I'll fly away ♪
405
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,851
- ♪ In the morning ♪
- ♪ When I die ♪
406
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,599
♪ Hallelujah, by and by ♪
407
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,640
♪ I'll fly away ♪
408
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:09,240
♪ When the shadows... ♪
409
00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:10,980
Can you believe she owns this place
410
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,740
and has a cute young boyfriend?
411
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,700
I didn't think those two
things could coexist,
412
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,119
but I'm happy to be proven wrong.
413
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:19,303
Put a cork in it, cat lady.
I'm trying to listen.
414
00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:23,820
♪ I'll fly away, oh ♪
♪ Glory ♪
415
00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,460
♪ I'll fly away ♪
416
00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:28,100
♪ In the morning ♪
417
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:32,549
♪ When I die ♪
♪ Hallelujah, by and by ♪
418
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:35,220
♪ I'll fly away. ♪
419
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:41,768
Kat, guess what?
420
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,380
I asked Ray to form a
bluegrass band with me
421
00:17:44,390 --> 00:17:45,439
and he said yes.
422
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,420
Oh, so your feeling was right.
423
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:48,780
You were meant to be together.
424
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,070
Just, in a band, not in holy matrimony.
425
00:17:51,096 --> 00:17:53,989
Yeah, but I can still live
with hope in my heart.
426
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,579
(CHUCKLES)
427
00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:58,569
Hey. I loved your poem.
428
00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:00,680
I bet Mr. Mousekers and Winston
429
00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,790
are probably smiling
down on us right now.
430
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,800
Mr. Mousekers was never
really one for smiling.
431
00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:06,840
When he was happy,
he'd-he'd look past you
432
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:08,712
and rub his butt up against your arm.
433
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:09,964
I had an ex who did that.
434
00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:11,709
- Julia.
- Sophomore year.
435
00:18:11,710 --> 00:18:14,051
(BOTH LAUGH)
436
00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:17,722
Kat, I-I, uh, feel like I need
to tell you something.
437
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:20,260
Um, come here.
438
00:18:22,380 --> 00:18:23,923
- Are you mad at me again?
- No.
439
00:18:23,924 --> 00:18:25,506
Is it 'cause I was pitchy
during the singing?
440
00:18:25,507 --> 00:18:26,980
- Mm, no.
- Sometimes I get pitchy
441
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,499
- 'cause I'm caught up in my spoons.
- No. No.
442
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,479
No, I just, I want to...
443
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,739
I just want to clear up something
444
00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:34,440
about the other night when I came over.
445
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,640
The reason Brigitte broke up
with me in the first place
446
00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:39,660
is because she never
felt like I was all in.
447
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,245
And she was right. I always
felt like something was missing.
448
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:47,060
And what was missing was
a-a real friendship with her.
449
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:48,460
Like the one we have.
450
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,380
So...
451
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,599
if you felt like I wanted
to kiss you the other night,
452
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,380
it's because I did.
453
00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,641
Did you know this and
you never said anything?
454
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,920
I like to keep things
mysterious and suspenseful.
455
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,660
Look, I know this is bad timing,
456
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:10,837
'cause you're dating somebody,
457
00:19:10,838 --> 00:19:13,420
but if there's one thing
I learned from you,
458
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,238
is that it's better to make a bold move.
459
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:20,576
So, this is my bold move.
460
00:19:22,270 --> 00:19:23,371
Wow. (LAUGHS)
461
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,498
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
462
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,163
Well, you were right.
463
00:19:28,164 --> 00:19:31,420
- Your timing is, like, ugh.
- Way off, I know.
464
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:33,475
Um, yeah.
465
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,674
Okay, well, I'm gonna go, uh,
splash some cold water on my face.
466
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:40,012
And I'm gonna go reapply my deodorant,
like, uh, like, a lot of it.
467
00:19:41,570 --> 00:19:43,020
Oh.
468
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,206
Mr. Mousekers!
469
00:19:45,207 --> 00:19:47,144
Is this... Is this rice?
470
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:49,619
I can explain.
471
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:53,540
Y-You know how in the Bible,
things turn into other things?
472
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,404
I believe we have a
miracle on our hands.
473
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,529
Randi, what is going on?
474
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:02,580
Okay, see, after I picked
up Mr. Mousekers' ashes,
475
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,413
I accidentally left
them in a car service.
476
00:20:05,430 --> 00:20:08,540
And by the time I contacted
the driver, he was in Chicago,
477
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,219
ironically, to comfort his mother,
478
00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:12,277
who had just lost her cat.
479
00:20:12,278 --> 00:20:14,171
You can't make this stuff up.
480
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,964
RANDI: And I didn't have time
481
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,925
to drop everything and go to Chicago.
482
00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:20,259
So where is Mr. Mousekers now?
483
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,429
OSCAR: He's right here.
484
00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:26,433
You didn't have to work late?
485
00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:29,936
You went all the way to
Chicago for Mr. Mousekers?
486
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:33,399
If something is important to
you, it's important to me.
487
00:20:37,650 --> 00:20:40,739
Do I smell kettle corn? I haven't
eaten in, like, ten hours.
488
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,899
(LAUGHS): Yeah. Go get some.
489
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:46,660
Katharine, this cat and
I both dipped our paws
490
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,660
into the shrimp cocktail
at the same time.
491
00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,292
I think I've found my soul mate.
492
00:20:51,316 --> 00:20:54,587
(LAUGHS): Oh. Good for you, Mother.
493
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,040
That makes one of us.
494
00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:07,140
♪
495
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:40,049
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
37506
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