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- Once upon a future time,
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00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:16,150
in the lush little Land of Plenty,
3
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,890
in the enviable state of Affluence,
4
00:00:18,890 --> 00:00:22,020
bordering on Decadence to the north,
5
00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:25,230
and the state before to the south,
6
00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:26,890
there nestled, deep
within the Erogenous Zone,
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00:00:26,890 --> 00:00:30,570
the peaceful City of
Leisure, resting snugly
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00:00:30,570 --> 00:00:33,370
on the western shore of the Idle Sea.
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00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:36,070
In this lazy, but lovely town,
10
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:40,040
the people of Leisure labored, and
lived, and laughed, and loved.
11
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,360
And loved some more.
12
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,100
Though their love had
nothing to do with the
13
00:00:43,100 --> 00:00:45,600
archaic notion of romantic love,
14
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,540
which was the subject of
many a cautionary tale,
15
00:00:48,540 --> 00:00:50,800
told by the wary citizens.
16
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:53,070
On the sun-drenched plaza, empty,
17
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,580
because it was so early in the morning,
18
00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:59,480
sat Elvira, ready to face a new day.
19
00:00:59,650 --> 00:01:03,510
Elvira, as pretty as she was practical.
20
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,510
As persevering as she was punctual.
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00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:10,910
She and her husband, Jack,
typical people of Leisure,
22
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:14,190
had a busy social life, which, happily,
23
00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:18,410
never strained their
successful and stable marriage.
24
00:01:18,590 --> 00:01:20,250
But, when they were able to savor those
25
00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:22,930
precious moments alone, they really
26
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,920
savored those precious moments alone.
27
00:01:34,030 --> 00:01:38,080
Well, anyway, Elvira was
up very early that morning
28
00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:41,860
because she had a plan.
29
00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:46,390
An integral part of her
well-conceived strategy,
30
00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:51,300
was to get up early to
begin Operation Music Box.
31
00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:56,150
Meanwhile, on the other
side of the village,
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00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:59,360
lived another couple,
Betsy and Eddie,
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00:01:59,490 --> 00:02:02,370
who, at that very moment,
were slowly waking
34
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:06,290
from the blissful warmth
of a night sweetly spent,
35
00:02:06,450 --> 00:02:09,100
cuddled in each other's arms.
36
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:31,800
- I better get going.
37
00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,110
- Oh.
38
00:02:36,910 --> 00:02:39,270
Well, I guess I'll see if Elvira's up.
39
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,330
- In point of fact,
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00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,240
everyone was up early that morning.
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00:02:57,790 --> 00:03:01,050
SCORE
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00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,680
- Good morning, my love.
43
00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:10,960
- Well, well, well.
44
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:12,920
Didn't we set out early,this morning?
45
00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:14,670
And don't we look enticing?
46
00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:15,920
- Why, thank you.
47
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:18,360
- Except, isn't it early
for false eyelashes?
48
00:05:18,460 --> 00:05:20,160
- I'm expecting company.
49
00:05:20,230 --> 00:05:22,880
- Betsy.
50
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:23,950
- I should have known.
51
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,900
The gracious hostess outfit.
52
00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:28,380
- We played your games
last night, my love.
53
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,590
- Are we playing Loretta
Young this morning?
54
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,370
- I'll play mine today.
55
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,610
- Come on, Elvira.
56
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,590
It was a nice little party,last night.
57
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,240
- I've spent better
evenings washing underwear.
58
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:44,030
That's the third fiasco you've
gotten us into this month.
59
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,070
I don't think we shall answer anymore ads.
60
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,810
Or pick up anymore
couples on the Sea Europe,
61
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,310
and all you can eat for
50 cents a day budget.
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00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:52,850
- Don't be a sexual snob.
63
00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:54,350
We'll do better next time.
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00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:57,030
Well, one undergrad newspaper
is no different from another.
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00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:01,030
Or one budget tourist.
66
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:04,530
People one meets are all so tacky.
67
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:08,430
Well, you've got to admit, at least
they were interesting physically.
68
00:06:08,590 --> 00:06:10,280
- Oh, every time I turned over,
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00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,230
there was another appendectomy scar.
70
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,970
- You are a sexual snob.
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00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,500
- Truth is, an ad makes it too easy.
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00:06:18,610 --> 00:06:20,010
No mystery.
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00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,320
No challenge.
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00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:23,960
- Getting there is half the fun?
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00:06:24,070 --> 00:06:25,760
- More than that.
76
00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:27,750
A good deal more.
77
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:29,490
- You miss the chase, don't you?
78
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,740
- Don't you?
79
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,260
- I'm lazier than you.
80
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,670
Not as tenacious, not as patient.
81
00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:37,730
- The spider and the gadfly.
82
00:06:37,820 --> 00:06:39,700
- The perfect marriage.
83
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,700
- You're late.
84
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,680
- Hey, just give me ten minutes.
85
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,670
Speaking of your tenacity,
your six months are nearly up.
86
00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:52,940
You're running out of time.
87
00:06:52,990 --> 00:06:53,950
- With Besty?
88
00:06:53,990 --> 00:06:54,950
- With Betsy.
89
00:06:54,990 --> 00:06:56,650
Unless something new
has caught your fancy.
90
00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:00,100
You do play it down to the wire.
91
00:07:00,980 --> 00:07:02,670
- That's why I win.
92
00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:03,700
- Not always.
93
00:07:03,740 --> 00:07:04,670
- Oh?
94
00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:07,580
And what is the score, Jack?
95
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:10,860
I thought she and her husband
were coming to dinner tonight.
96
00:07:10,970 --> 00:07:12,370
- That is correct.
97
00:07:12,430 --> 00:07:13,870
- What are they
doing in this place?
98
00:07:13,930 --> 00:07:15,400
What does the husband do?
99
00:07:15,460 --> 00:07:16,640
- Scientist of some kind.
100
00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:18,890
He swims around, looking
for water pollution.
101
00:07:18,990 --> 00:07:19,720
- Swims?
102
00:07:19,750 --> 00:07:21,120
- I told you.
103
00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:22,400
- You still think they'll come?
104
00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:23,850
- Why shouldn't they?
105
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,600
- When did you see her last?
106
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,590
- A week.
107
00:07:27,670 --> 00:07:29,590
- Nearly two.
108
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:31,560
- Is she avoiding you?
109
00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:33,100
I think she senses that something
110
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,600
- Of course, she does.
111
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:37,280
But she doesn't know what she senses.
112
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,260
- Does she still call you every morning?
113
00:07:40,390 --> 00:07:42,560
- I fascinate her.
114
00:07:42,650 --> 00:07:47,440
She can't grab hold, but she can't let go.
115
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,790
- Using a music box today?
116
00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:53,710
Of course.
She's incredibly sentimental.
117
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,560
- What is it, this time?
118
00:07:55,630 --> 00:07:57,540
Family heirloom, or wedding present?
119
00:07:57,630 --> 00:08:00,470
- No, her mother had one.
120
00:08:00,590 --> 00:08:02,250
How convenient.
She hasn't phoned yet?
121
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:06,850
- No, today she'll be by.
122
00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:15,520
Oh, when you get to the location,
123
00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:18,660
would you call the telephone company,
report the phone out of order?
124
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,010
- Is it really?
125
00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,210
Or do you just want company?
126
00:08:21,260 --> 00:08:24,130
- Oh, it is out of order, I assure you.
127
00:08:24,260 --> 00:08:25,690
I saw to that.
128
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,430
- Hell of a lot of trouble,
for one little powderpuff.
129
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,180
- You bastard.
130
00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:31,940
- All right, I'll report it first thing.
131
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:33,670
And, if I get a chance, I'll call later,
132
00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:34,920
and see how things are going.
133
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:36,670
- If I don't answer, you'll know.
134
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:38,910
- Mm, that's my girl.
135
00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:53,080
- And Jack was
off to earn some daily bread,
136
00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:56,080
and to report a telephone out of order.
137
00:08:56,210 --> 00:08:59,780
He had a pretty good idea of
what might happen that morning,
138
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:04,050
and even what might happen
that entire weekend.
139
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:07,130
- Elvira.
140
00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:08,850
- Betsy, I was hoping you'd...
141
00:09:08,930 --> 00:09:10,130
Eddie, what are you...
142
00:09:10,190 --> 00:09:11,630
Why aren't you at work?
143
00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:12,870
- Well, I should be.
144
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:13,840
- Is anything wrong?
145
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:14,870
- No, nothing.
146
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,570
See, everything's all right.
147
00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:17,860
- OK.
148
00:09:17,910 --> 00:09:18,390
- What?
149
00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:21,060
Well, when I couldn't reach you
on the phone, I got worried.
150
00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:23,310
- She'd been sure you'd
been murdered and raped.
151
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,610
- Murdered, maybe.
152
00:09:24,670 --> 00:09:25,370
- What?
153
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,130
- Nothing.
154
00:09:26,170 --> 00:09:26,840
- Can I go now?
155
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:28,080
I'm really behind, as it is.
156
00:09:28,130 --> 00:09:29,080
- Of course.
157
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:30,050
- Bye bye.
158
00:09:30,090 --> 00:09:32,000
- Eddie.
159
00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:36,850
- Bye bye, honey.
160
00:09:36,950 --> 00:09:38,070
- Bye bye, I'll miss you.
161
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,510
- Is the phone really out of order?
- Yes.
162
00:09:40,610 --> 00:09:41,790
- Why, so it is.
163
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,810
- I called to report
it, is that all right?
164
00:09:43,810 --> 00:09:46,490
- It must have happened
at the party, last night.
165
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,330
Well, it really wasn't a party,
or you and Eddie would have been invited.
166
00:09:50,330 --> 00:09:52,470
- Oh, we couldn't have come, anyway.
167
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:53,520
- Bowling?
168
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,990
- Every Thursday.
169
00:09:55,050 --> 00:09:57,790
- The fascination of bowling
has always escaped me.
170
00:09:57,790 --> 00:09:59,480
- Me, too.
171
00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:02,190
- Let's go shopping.
172
00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:06,700
- Did you have a nice evening,Elvira?
173
00:10:06,770 --> 00:10:10,380
- No, I'd tell you all
about it, only you'd blush.
174
00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:12,670
- That's all a good
Catholic girl ever does.
175
00:10:12,770 --> 00:10:14,490
- So, while
the ladies did errands,
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00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:18,100
the husbands were busily
occupied with their chores.
177
00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:21,570
Eddie, an ecologist, tried
to keep the waters clean
178
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,920
and his test tubes in order.
179
00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:31,550
Jack, a photographer, shot
outdoor sports for profit.
180
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,620
and indoor sports for fun.
181
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:36,320
Also, living in the village
of Leisure, was Mike,
182
00:10:36,430 --> 00:10:40,030
the big, bad, wolf, on his
way to the house in the woods,
183
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:43,060
where Elvira was
proceeding with phase two,
184
00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:45,830
of Operation Music Box.
185
00:10:45,950 --> 00:10:47,860
- The other day, Jack decided he
186
00:10:47,950 --> 00:10:50,080
wanted to answer one of those ads.
187
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:51,830
You know.
188
00:10:51,910 --> 00:10:53,600
In here.
189
00:10:53,670 --> 00:10:56,290
In the back, the personals.
190
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,790
I think it's page 31.
191
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,110
The one that's circled.
192
00:11:02,190 --> 00:11:03,630
- Oh.
193
00:11:03,890 --> 00:11:08,740
"Swinging couple, late 20's,
traveling in Europe in July,
194
00:11:08,950 --> 00:11:13,640
"bored with, bored with
middle-class morality,
195
00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:17,720
"wants to widen horizons with
similarly inclined couples,
196
00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:21,690
"to 35, especially
interested in camera bugs,
197
00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:24,510
"and model types, all replies answered,
198
00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:27,020
"send photos."
199
00:11:28,590 --> 00:11:30,980
So, you did it, huh?
200
00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:37,590
Um, what does Jack say is
important in an erotic photo?
201
00:11:38,070 --> 00:11:40,910
- F22.
202
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,700
Here's the evidence.
203
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:51,200
It's upside down.
204
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,710
- Well, um, anyway, it doesn't
205
00:11:53,810 --> 00:11:55,190
make any difference to me.
206
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:56,680
Of course, I wouldn't do it.
207
00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:58,210
I really couldn't.
208
00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,710
I mean, I might think about doing it,
209
00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:00,950
but I couldn't do it.
210
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,730
- Well, everyone fantasizes.
211
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:03,950
- Yes, but whenever I do,
212
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,420
I never see myself doing anything.
213
00:12:06,530 --> 00:12:07,680
- You must experience much
214
00:12:07,730 --> 00:12:09,390
less guilt than most people.
215
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:10,700
- Hey, don't laugh at me.
216
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,190
I told you, when you're taught
217
00:12:12,260 --> 00:12:14,610
by the nuns, you never forget.
218
00:12:15,950 --> 00:12:19,780
- I always wanted a Polaroid.
- Shall I show you how to operate it?
219
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,860
Let's go upstairs.
220
00:12:22,940 --> 00:12:27,020
- I just love your bedroom,
it's so, so lived-in.
221
00:12:27,660 --> 00:12:28,910
Oh, I'm sorry, I--
222
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,880
- Here we go.
223
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,840
First, you push that down.
224
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:38,680
Now, you set the focus here.
225
00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:45,720
Now, all you have to
do is look through here
226
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:50,190
and press that little red button.
227
00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:53,050
- What shall I shoot?
228
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,240
- Shoot this.
229
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,000
- Ready?
230
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,970
Oh, what's this?
231
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,440
"Amyl nitrate."
232
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:17,990
What's it for?
233
00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:20,220
- "Angina pectoris."
234
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,980
Do you have a heart condition?
235
00:13:22,050 --> 00:13:23,230
- A "heart condition."
236
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,750
- I don't understand.
237
00:13:24,810 --> 00:13:27,650
- Well, sometimes you can make
an evening more interesting.
238
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:29,240
- Oh, drugs?
239
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:32,880
- Say "pharmaceuticals,"
it's more gentile.
240
00:13:33,030 --> 00:13:36,670
Now, weren't you going to take my picture?
241
00:13:40,260 --> 00:13:42,650
- Um...
242
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,890
Don't you want to cover up?
243
00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:47,610
You're, you're exposed.
244
00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:51,030
- Well, leave my face out of the picture.
245
00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:06,290
- Oh, Jesus Christ, who's that?
246
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:12,050
- Telephone company.
247
00:14:12,140 --> 00:14:13,580
- I wasn't expecting you so soon.
248
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,290
This is the fastest service we've
gotten, since we've been here.
249
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,280
- Well, we aren't very busy, today.
250
00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:20,060
One of those saint's days.
251
00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:25,690
Gee, what have we got here?
252
00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:28,020
- We had a little party last night.
253
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,250
We were all drinking rather heavily.
254
00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:33,250
Some of us have stumbled over the cord.
255
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,030
- Under the table?
256
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,230
- What were they doing under the table?
- I can't imagine.
257
00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:40,480
Can you?
258
00:14:40,570 --> 00:14:42,740
- Must have been some party.
259
00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,270
- Average.
260
00:14:44,330 --> 00:14:45,990
- What do you do at a good one?
261
00:14:46,060 --> 00:14:47,490
Knock down a wall?
262
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,690
- Depends on the guest list.
263
00:14:51,550 --> 00:14:53,270
- I wish I'd been invited.
264
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:56,150
- If I'd known you yesterday,
you would have been.
265
00:14:56,780 --> 00:15:01,560
Oh, you must excuse me, I
wasn't expecting anyone.
266
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:03,700
- Yeah, it's all right.
267
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:06,190
I tell you, in this line of work,you see
268
00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:08,940
people in all states,
you know what I mean?
269
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:11,620
- Well, if you'll excuse me.
270
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,590
My friend is here, we were just going over
some things upstairs.
271
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:15,960
- Recipes?
272
00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:18,120
- Something like that.
273
00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:19,940
- OK, Mrs. Jackson.
274
00:15:19,980 --> 00:15:22,110
- "Mrs. Jackson"
is my mother-in-law.
275
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:24,370
My name is "Elvira."
276
00:15:24,470 --> 00:15:26,130
- "Elvira."
277
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,890
It's a very unusual name, you know.
278
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:30,830
- Can I get you a cup
of coffee before I go?
279
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,140
- Uh, no thanks.
280
00:15:32,190 --> 00:15:35,090
Maybe later.
281
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:37,320
- Maybe.
282
00:15:48,130 --> 00:15:49,570
The telephone repair man.
283
00:15:49,630 --> 00:15:50,840
- Oh, already?
284
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,590
- They're not very busy, today.
285
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,570
One of those saint's days.
286
00:15:54,890 --> 00:15:57,250
He's really rather handsome,
in a rough sort of way.
287
00:15:57,350 --> 00:15:59,520
- Well, I was thinking,
288
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:03,730
with all of you in bed, how do you know
289
00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:05,760
- Who's who?
290
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,260
- Well, yeah.
291
00:16:08,370 --> 00:16:09,840
- You don't.
292
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:11,530
First, you don't know.
293
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,770
Then, you can't tell.
294
00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:15,780
Then, you don't care.
295
00:16:15,860 --> 00:16:19,240
When I first met Jack, it took me
296
00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:21,940
a long time to get used to it.
297
00:16:22,050 --> 00:16:23,960
His ways.
298
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:26,950
Oh, I'd heard all about
him, and his adventures.
299
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,650
Then I found out that
everything I'd heard was true.
300
00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,420
And one day, just before
I married him, I said--
301
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:37,390
- Jack, I know you'd
just as soon climb aboard
302
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,650
a man as a woman, wouldn't you?
303
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,360
- Elvira, I'd climb aboard a porcupine,
304
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,680
if it struck my fancy.
305
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:50,650
- Well, it didn't
make much sense to me, then.
306
00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:54,060
But, over the years,
it's begun to rub off.
307
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,150
- Porcupine, huh?
308
00:16:56,230 --> 00:16:57,410
- Well, I doubt that you'll
309
00:16:57,460 --> 00:17:00,330
ever have to resort to a porcupine.
310
00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:04,770
No. not someone as lovely as you.
311
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:09,830
How about that cup of coffee, now?
312
00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:13,040
Well, you know, I don't
even know your name.
313
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:14,670
- Mike, Mike Nixon.
314
00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:15,410
- Hello.
315
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,390
- No relation.
316
00:17:17,930 --> 00:17:18,670
You a photographer?
317
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:19,940
- Oh, no, it's Elvira's.
318
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,370
She was showing me.
319
00:17:21,430 --> 00:17:22,860
- Yeah, my kid brother has one of these,
320
00:17:22,930 --> 00:17:25,060
and you should see some of
the pictures he takes with it.
321
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,590
Well, sorry, ladies.
322
00:17:27,650 --> 00:17:30,550
- Mike, we're all adults.
323
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,520
My husband calls it, "God's
gift to pornography."
324
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:34,670
- That's what I meant.
325
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:36,300
- That's what I thought you meant.
326
00:17:36,370 --> 00:17:38,760
- No offense.
327
00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:40,820
Well, if you'll excuse me...
328
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:42,330
- Um, I'll help you.
329
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,280
- I can handle it, myself.
330
00:17:44,360 --> 00:17:46,270
Show Mike the terrace.
331
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,530
- How did you happen to get
into this line of business?
332
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:51,490
- Well, I always say, when
they ask me, you know,
333
00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:53,750
I always tell 'em, "I was
reading this book, one time,
334
00:17:53,850 --> 00:17:55,760
"from England, about
this telephone repairman,
335
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,280
"and all his adventures."
336
00:17:57,340 --> 00:17:59,730
You know, his "adventures"?
337
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,530
And everyone always laughs.
338
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,260
But that wasn't the reason.
339
00:18:03,330 --> 00:18:08,120
I mean, I never had no adventures.
340
00:18:09,790 --> 00:18:11,450
- What was the name of the book?
341
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,870
- I don't know, it was a long time ago.
342
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,950
As a matter of fact, I'm not so sure
there ever was such a book.
343
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,660
It was like one of those things you hear
about over the years, you know?
344
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:22,910
- I think I read the same book.
345
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,440
- You did, huh?
346
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:28,110
- All about the adventures
of this young stud.
347
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:31,100
This young, blonde stud.
348
00:18:31,530 --> 00:18:32,450
- Blonde?
349
00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:35,100
He doesn't have to be blonde.
350
00:18:35,750 --> 00:18:38,850
- Young, muscular, stud.
351
00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:40,670
And how he went from house to house,
352
00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:42,660
being nice to love-starved housewives.
353
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:43,920
- That's the one.
354
00:18:43,970 --> 00:18:46,590
- Is it like that in real life?
355
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:49,090
- It happens.
356
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,070
- What would you do,
if it happened to you?
357
00:18:52,190 --> 00:18:54,590
- I think I could handle it.
358
00:18:54,690 --> 00:18:56,380
I'm sure I could.
359
00:18:56,690 --> 00:18:59,110
If I was interested.
360
00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:06,040
- Do you still want that cup of coffee?
361
00:19:06,170 --> 00:19:07,830
- Why not?
362
00:19:07,910 --> 00:19:09,820
- Betsy.
363
00:19:11,670 --> 00:19:13,070
- Oh!
364
00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:15,330
- Hot!
365
00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:17,050
- Oh, I'm sorry!
366
00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:21,210
I'll get something to put on it.
367
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:27,730
- You two always make such
a production out of it?
368
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,420
- I'm, I'm just a visitor here, myself.
369
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,960
- This should
take the sting out of it.
370
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:49,430
I hope you don't think
that was intentional.
371
00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:50,980
- That wasn't what I was thinking.
I was thinking,
372
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,990
"What would have happened,
373
00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:55,660
"if the coffee spilled all over you?"
374
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:57,960
Huh?
375
00:22:21,490 --> 00:22:23,980
- Why don't you take off
your hat, and stay awhile?
376
00:23:57,210 --> 00:24:01,010
- Elvira.
377
00:24:02,670 --> 00:24:04,790
I think I'll be going, now.
378
00:24:12,390 --> 00:24:14,520
Elvira.
379
00:24:22,610 --> 00:24:24,770
Elvira.
380
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:38,300
- Want a drink?
381
00:24:38,350 --> 00:24:39,530
- No, thanks.
382
00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:42,200
Next time, got a dinner date, at home.
383
00:24:54,060 --> 00:24:55,010
- When is Betsy coming?
384
00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:56,970
- She'll be along.
385
00:24:57,050 --> 00:25:00,150
- Let me check your coat, Eddie.
And your jacket.
386
00:25:00,550 --> 00:25:02,210
- Sit down.
- What are you drinking?
387
00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,190
- Um, milk,
first, if you've got any.
388
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,640
I can nurse the ulcer before
I nurse anything else.
389
00:25:06,740 --> 00:25:08,210
- You're too
young to have an ulcer.
390
00:25:08,270 --> 00:25:09,670
- You look all of 17.
391
00:25:09,730 --> 00:25:10,930
- 22.
392
00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:12,660
I still get asked for my I.D.
393
00:25:12,730 --> 00:25:14,420
- Not necessary, here.
394
00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:15,930
What are you gonna have
for a second course?
395
00:25:15,990 --> 00:25:17,460
- Anything. Scotch?
396
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:18,960
- Scotch, coming right up.
397
00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:21,380
- How long have you had an ulcer?
- Since I was 15.
398
00:25:21,490 --> 00:25:22,700
- Here we go.
399
00:25:22,750 --> 00:25:24,690
- Thank you.
400
00:25:27,710 --> 00:25:29,400
- Junk mail.
401
00:25:29,470 --> 00:25:30,970
- Was Betsy here, all afternoon?
402
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,110
- No, we ended up at your
place, this afternoon.
403
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,590
She called me a couple of times.
Do you know what it was?
404
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,360
- I haven't got the vaguest notion.
405
00:25:37,430 --> 00:25:40,810
- I better check, can I use your
- Drink your milk, first.
406
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:44,910
- Oh, that's enough.
407
00:25:44,950 --> 00:25:46,830
- She'll probably be
here, before you finish this.
408
00:25:46,910 --> 00:25:49,780
- You stay here, I'll phone.
409
00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:58,840
- How do you think we'll
do in the Olympics?
410
00:25:58,930 --> 00:25:59,890
- Oh, I don't know.
411
00:25:59,930 --> 00:26:01,080
- Dunno, huh?
412
00:26:01,130 --> 00:26:02,080
- No.
413
00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:04,510
- Thank God, not gonna
be one of those evenings.
414
00:26:09,650 --> 00:26:12,930
- Betsy. Elvira.
- You and Betsy been married long?
415
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,020
- About a year, a little less.
416
00:26:15,110 --> 00:26:16,990
- Elvira and I have been
married a lot longer.
417
00:26:17,070 --> 00:26:19,490
- That's nonsense, Betsy.
418
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,960
You think we do that sort
of thing all the time?
419
00:26:22,060 --> 00:26:23,300
- What brings you here, anyway?
420
00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:24,790
- Ecology grant.
421
00:26:24,860 --> 00:26:26,480
We're studying comparative
pollution of the seas,
422
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,470
between here and the States.
423
00:26:28,550 --> 00:26:29,510
- Sounds fascinating.
424
00:26:29,550 --> 00:26:31,750
- Betsy wants to talk to you.
425
00:26:32,810 --> 00:26:34,020
- Hi.
426
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,740
Where are you?
427
00:26:35,810 --> 00:26:37,940
But I thought...
428
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,430
No, there's no one here
but Jack, Elvira, and me.
429
00:26:40,530 --> 00:26:43,400
Look, this was your idea.
430
00:26:43,530 --> 00:26:44,960
All right, hold on.
431
00:26:45,030 --> 00:26:46,430
She's got a headache.
432
00:26:46,490 --> 00:26:48,250
- Tell her to take a couple of aspirin.
433
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,710
Well, look, they've already
got dinner on. I can't do that.
434
00:26:50,820 --> 00:26:51,740
- Let me speak to her.
435
00:26:51,780 --> 00:26:53,700
Betsy? Jack here.
436
00:26:53,780 --> 00:26:55,410
What's the matter?
437
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:56,430
Oh, too bad.
438
00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,120
Look, you don't mind if Eddie
stays on for dinner, do you?
439
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,880
If you're feeling better, later,
you can join us for dessert.
440
00:27:03,730 --> 00:27:04,910
Oh, sorry.
441
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,180
Did you want to talk to her?
442
00:27:06,230 --> 00:27:09,100
- No, that's all right.
- I'm sure she'll be along any minute.
443
00:27:09,230 --> 00:27:10,760
- Well, if you'll excuse me, I do have
444
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,610
things to do in the kitchen.
445
00:27:12,690 --> 00:27:14,660
A woman's work, you know.
446
00:27:19,710 --> 00:27:21,110
- Say, that's a nice looking ring.
447
00:27:21,170 --> 00:27:22,130
- You like it?
448
00:27:22,170 --> 00:27:23,830
I wasn't sure I liked it.
449
00:27:23,900 --> 00:27:25,400
I thought it looked a little queer.
450
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,570
- "Queer" strange, or "queer" faggoty?
451
00:27:27,660 --> 00:27:29,320
- "Queer" faggoty.
452
00:27:29,390 --> 00:27:30,830
But my boss wears one.
453
00:27:30,890 --> 00:27:32,580
He's got three kids.
454
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:35,590
See what I mean?
455
00:27:35,650 --> 00:27:36,610
- Where'd you get yours?
456
00:27:36,650 --> 00:27:37,610
- Betsy gave it to me.
457
00:27:37,650 --> 00:27:38,640
- Birthday?
458
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,050
- No, my birthday's in June.
459
00:27:40,110 --> 00:27:40,880
- June.
460
00:27:40,910 --> 00:27:41,580
Gemini?
461
00:27:41,610 --> 00:27:42,850
- Right, the twins.
462
00:27:42,910 --> 00:27:44,310
- So, you're a Gemini.
463
00:27:44,370 --> 00:27:45,420
- Is that bad?
464
00:27:45,470 --> 00:27:47,030
I don't know anything about that.
465
00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:49,750
- Well. Gemini
men are schizophrenic,
466
00:27:49,860 --> 00:27:52,260
split-personality, double life.
467
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:53,800
- I take the fifth.
468
00:27:53,860 --> 00:27:55,520
- Take whatever you can get.
469
00:27:55,590 --> 00:27:56,550
- Yeah.
470
00:27:56,590 --> 00:27:57,830
- I'm a Scorpio, myself.
471
00:27:57,890 --> 00:27:59,030
- Oh, what does that make you?
472
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,580
Paranoid?
473
00:28:00,650 --> 00:28:02,970
- Sex-fiend.
474
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,690
- I think I need another ice cube.
475
00:28:05,810 --> 00:28:07,020
- Make yourself at home.
476
00:28:07,070 --> 00:28:09,240
Of course, that's an over-simplification.
477
00:28:09,340 --> 00:28:10,260
- What?
478
00:28:10,300 --> 00:28:12,920
Oh, the "sex fiend" thing, yeah.
479
00:28:13,030 --> 00:28:14,750
Hey, that's a nice picture of Elvira.
480
00:28:14,830 --> 00:28:15,970
- Yeah.
481
00:28:16,020 --> 00:28:17,820
- Look, I might as well
tell you. right off,
482
00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:20,180
I can't hold my liquor worth a damn.
483
00:28:20,290 --> 00:28:21,500
- What does it make you do?
484
00:28:21,550 --> 00:28:22,980
- What does it make me do?
485
00:28:23,050 --> 00:28:23,970
- Liquor.
486
00:28:24,010 --> 00:28:26,180
Does it make you feel
silly, or belligerent?
487
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:27,930
Sleepy?
488
00:28:28,010 --> 00:28:28,710
Sexy?
489
00:28:28,740 --> 00:28:29,510
- Careless.
490
00:28:29,540 --> 00:28:31,160
Uh, care-free, I mean.
491
00:28:31,740 --> 00:28:33,200
- What does grass do to you?
492
00:28:33,270 --> 00:28:35,150
- Grass?
493
00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:38,630
One night I went bowling,
and one of the guys had some.
494
00:28:38,730 --> 00:28:39,940
- And...?
495
00:28:39,990 --> 00:28:41,420
- Nothing happened.
496
00:28:41,490 --> 00:28:42,920
- Never does, the first time.
497
00:28:42,990 --> 00:28:44,390
- Oh, I didn't hear you come in.
498
00:28:44,450 --> 00:28:46,140
- Eddie, you're blushing.
499
00:28:46,220 --> 00:28:48,130
Did I interrupt some man talk?
500
00:28:48,210 --> 00:28:51,080
- Oh, no, we were just
talking about turning on.
501
00:28:51,210 --> 00:28:55,030
- Oh, doesn't it take two or three times?
502
00:29:02,420 --> 00:29:04,370
- Well, surprise.
503
00:29:04,450 --> 00:29:06,370
- I'm sorry about this afternoon.
504
00:29:06,450 --> 00:29:08,080
- I'm glad you decided to come.
505
00:29:08,150 --> 00:29:10,280
- Am I still invited?
506
00:29:14,140 --> 00:29:17,010
- I'll see if we have enough chairs.
507
00:29:17,430 --> 00:29:19,790
- You've got quite a wife, there.
- I think so.
508
00:29:19,900 --> 00:29:22,630
- Elvira tells me she goes bowling
with you, that sort of thing.
509
00:29:22,630 --> 00:29:24,540
- Well, we try to do things together.
510
00:29:24,620 --> 00:29:26,820
- Was she there the night you turned on?
- Oh, no, she--
511
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,580
- Did somebody say, "turn on"?
512
00:29:28,650 --> 00:29:31,010
We were just talking about the night
Eddie turned on.
513
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:33,250
- Turned on?
- I was gonna tell you.
514
00:29:33,340 --> 00:29:35,770
- You turned on?
- Yeah, once, it was nothing.
515
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,460
- You never told me.
- Christ, Eddie, I'm sorry.
516
00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:40,990
- When did you do that?
- One night at bowling.
517
00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:42,980
You know, that night, you
were having your peri...
518
00:29:43,060 --> 00:29:44,050
You weren't feeling well.
519
00:29:44,100 --> 00:29:46,260
- So, you turned on.
- Yes.
520
00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:49,420
- I'd like another.
- Coming up.
521
00:29:49,550 --> 00:29:51,950
- Look, Eddie, I didn't mean to
- Forget it.
522
00:29:52,050 --> 00:29:54,920
- Betsy, have I spoiled the evening?
- Of course not.
523
00:29:55,050 --> 00:29:56,770
I mean, I'm not a nun.
524
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,280
It's just that I didn't know.
525
00:29:58,340 --> 00:30:00,700
- Have you ever smoked?
- I don't even smoke cigarettes.
526
00:30:00,810 --> 00:30:03,160
- Well, it's not the same thing.
- It was nothing.
527
00:30:03,270 --> 00:30:04,960
- Well, how many times?
- Once, I told you.
528
00:30:05,030 --> 00:30:06,240
- Well, I read, you have to
do it two or three times--
529
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:07,470
- Drop it.
- No, you're--
530
00:30:07,530 --> 00:30:08,960
- Drop it!
531
00:30:10,490 --> 00:30:12,690
- We keep ours in the pepper mill.
532
00:30:12,790 --> 00:30:17,170
I'd better set the timer, or we'll
forget all about the veal and peppers.
533
00:30:18,980 --> 00:30:21,850
- Don't you ever play, anymore?
- Never.
534
00:30:21,850 --> 00:30:25,840
Well, that's sad, isn't it?
Isn't it, Eddie? Eddie?
535
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:27,230
Did I ever tell you?
Elvira's a pianist.
536
00:30:27,230 --> 00:30:30,100
- Ex-pianist, if you please.
- Eddie?
537
00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:32,140
- I saw the photograph.
- Jack took it.
538
00:30:32,140 --> 00:30:34,490
- It was the first picture
I ever took of Elvira.
539
00:30:34,490 --> 00:30:35,440
Where was it taken?
540
00:30:35,490 --> 00:30:36,410
San Francisco.
541
00:30:36,410 --> 00:30:38,360
That was the summer I was
bumming around California.
542
00:30:38,370 --> 00:30:40,360
You know, I've always wanted to do that.
543
00:30:40,450 --> 00:30:42,580
Just me and my camera.
544
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:43,410
'Til I met her.
545
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:45,100
- And you gave it all up for him.
546
00:30:45,170 --> 00:30:48,300
I never wanted to be a
concert pianist that badly.
547
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:50,570
Oh, I always wanted to play the piano.
548
00:30:50,660 --> 00:30:52,320
I took piano lessons for years.
549
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:53,830
The only thing I can play now is
550
00:30:53,890 --> 00:30:56,060
"Heart and Soul" and "Chopsticks."
551
00:30:56,150 --> 00:30:59,280
But I only play the top part.
552
00:30:59,420 --> 00:31:00,370
- Of what?
553
00:31:00,420 --> 00:31:02,300
- "Heart and Soul" and "Chopsticks."
554
00:31:02,380 --> 00:31:05,030
- Then I'll play the bottom.
- Or what?
555
00:31:05,140 --> 00:31:09,640
- "Heart and Soul" and "Chopsticks."
- OK.
556
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,520
- Can we play?
- Yes, but I'll need both hands.
557
00:31:12,630 --> 00:31:16,170
- Am I stoned, yet?
- I don't think so.
558
00:31:16,330 --> 00:31:18,530
- Then why don't we play
"Chopsticks," anyway.
559
00:31:19,620 --> 00:31:21,020
Hit it.
560
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,290
- You know something, old buddy?
561
00:31:34,370 --> 00:31:35,990
That is a brilliant song.
562
00:31:36,060 --> 00:31:38,900
- Right, it's always
been one of my favorites.
563
00:31:39,030 --> 00:31:40,970
Right.
564
00:31:47,050 --> 00:31:48,930
I don't remember the words.
565
00:31:49,010 --> 00:31:51,660
An interesting picture, on
the cover of this magazine.
566
00:31:51,770 --> 00:31:53,430
Right, only it's a newspaper.
567
00:31:53,500 --> 00:31:55,450
Right. Only, it's interesting.
568
00:31:55,540 --> 00:31:57,450
That man looks like a cowboy.
569
00:31:57,530 --> 00:31:59,190
I always wanted to be a cowboy.
570
00:31:59,260 --> 00:32:02,420
I didn't. Because I'd rather
wear Levi's than dress pants.
571
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,400
Do you like to wear Levi's, Jack?
I never wanted to be a cowboy.
572
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:06,920
No, I did.
573
00:32:06,980 --> 00:32:08,930
I'm the one that wanted to be a sailor.
574
00:32:09,020 --> 00:32:10,160
- A sailor?
575
00:32:10,210 --> 00:32:13,400
I never wanted to be a sailor
in my whole life.
576
00:32:13,540 --> 00:32:15,420
So, I enlisted in the navy.
577
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:18,340
I was going to go to Colorado one
summer, but I never got there.
578
00:32:18,470 --> 00:32:20,380
I had a trick knee, so
they wouldn't take me.
579
00:32:20,460 --> 00:32:23,560
I always wanted to be a model.
580
00:32:23,690 --> 00:32:26,370
I thought you wanted to play the piano.
581
00:32:26,490 --> 00:32:29,520
I wanted to be a model
who played the piano.
582
00:32:29,650 --> 00:32:30,610
Oh.
583
00:32:30,650 --> 00:32:32,400
I could have been, too.
584
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:34,360
Except for my breasts.
585
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,070
They're very small.
586
00:32:36,140 --> 00:32:37,830
I should have worn my boots tonight.
587
00:32:37,910 --> 00:32:40,330
But I like my breasts, anyway.
588
00:32:40,430 --> 00:32:42,060
Don't you, Eddie?
589
00:32:42,130 --> 00:32:44,300
You've got good breasts.
590
00:32:44,390 --> 00:32:45,580
Where was I?
591
00:32:45,630 --> 00:32:47,350
You know what I always wanted to be?
592
00:32:47,420 --> 00:32:48,800
- Oh, yes, it's Elvira's turn.
593
00:32:48,860 --> 00:32:50,070
Do tell.
594
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,950
A girl on the cover
of the Police Gazette.
595
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,710
What's in here?
596
00:33:03,100 --> 00:33:05,970
Just what you've always wanted.
597
00:33:06,860 --> 00:33:09,440
- Are we gonna play dress-up?
598
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,510
This is silly.
599
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:11,990
So is this.
600
00:33:12,060 --> 00:33:14,000
Hey, look, Betsy, now you can be
on the cover of the Police Gazette.
601
00:33:14,090 --> 00:33:15,970
Oh, that wasn't me, that was Elvira.
602
00:33:16,050 --> 00:33:17,960
But it's not a bad idea for you.
603
00:33:18,050 --> 00:33:19,480
What are you gonna dress up as?
604
00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:21,460
Something special.
605
00:33:21,540 --> 00:33:23,230
Here, hold this.
606
00:33:23,770 --> 00:33:26,420
Gee.
607
00:33:26,530 --> 00:33:28,190
That's just what I was saying.
608
00:33:28,260 --> 00:33:31,390
Betsy, I seem to be
having some difficulty.
609
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:36,310
Elvira, I'll bet when I
wasn't looking, you got stoned.
610
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:38,430
I'll bet I did, too.
611
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:39,690
Am I stoned, yet?
612
00:33:39,750 --> 00:33:41,440
I don't think so.
613
00:33:41,510 --> 00:33:43,170
If you'll excuse me, I have
to take my clothes off, now.
614
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:44,930
Hurry back.
615
00:33:45,500 --> 00:33:46,460
- Dress whites.
616
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:48,160
- Hey, Jack's gonna be a sailor.
617
00:33:48,230 --> 00:33:49,960
Do I look like a cover girl, Betsy?
618
00:33:50,030 --> 00:33:51,910
- Oh, it's perfect.
619
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,840
No one will every guess
you play the piano.
620
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:55,880
- Is it straight?
621
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,380
Join the navy, and see the world.
622
00:33:59,450 --> 00:34:00,630
What am I gonna wear?
623
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:01,860
No tattoos, though.
624
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,120
Now what are we gonna do about that?
625
00:34:03,180 --> 00:34:06,080
Well, I could draw one
on, if you want me to.
626
00:34:06,210 --> 00:34:07,390
Sure.
627
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:08,620
- What do you want, old buddy?
628
00:34:08,670 --> 00:34:11,060
How about, an arrow,
with an arrow through it.
629
00:34:11,170 --> 00:34:13,560
Well, if that's what you want.
630
00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:15,100
That's what I want, old buddy.
631
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:16,120
Here, let me see you do it.
632
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:17,590
I have to have spiked heels.
633
00:34:17,660 --> 00:34:18,580
What size?
634
00:34:18,620 --> 00:34:19,580
You got my size?
635
00:34:19,620 --> 00:34:21,090
How come you got all sizes?
636
00:34:21,150 --> 00:34:23,800
Because, Jack's a
photographer, dumb-dumb.
637
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,570
Didn't I ever tell you that?
638
00:34:25,650 --> 00:34:26,830
Not very good, old buddy.
639
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,000
Best one I've ever had, old buddy.
640
00:34:30,670 --> 00:34:31,820
Look, Elvira.
641
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:33,340
Stunning.
642
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,280
- I'd call it a real masterpiece.
643
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,530
Betsy, why don't you try this?
644
00:34:39,830 --> 00:34:42,020
- Should I do it, Eddie?
645
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,300
- Betsy's turn.
646
00:34:43,350 --> 00:34:44,790
No, I can't.
647
00:34:57,060 --> 00:34:59,200
Oh, I don't know!
648
00:35:07,780 --> 00:35:08,710
I'll help.
649
00:35:08,750 --> 00:35:09,960
- I'll do it.
650
00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:14,640
After all, Eddie, she did it for me.
651
00:35:15,510 --> 00:35:17,640
Now, I can be your lady.
652
00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:24,100
Oh, an awful lot of
buttons on those pants.
653
00:35:24,260 --> 00:35:25,660
Yeah.
654
00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:26,970
Why don't I just wear nothing?
655
00:35:27,020 --> 00:35:28,650
- That would be vulgar.
656
00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:30,380
Here we go.
657
00:35:30,450 --> 00:35:32,620
Oh, now where did that come from?
658
00:35:32,710 --> 00:35:33,920
Heaven.
659
00:35:35,210 --> 00:35:36,390
- Are you laughing at me?
660
00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:37,910
- Of course not.
661
00:35:37,970 --> 00:35:39,370
Is he?
662
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,350
Well, we all did it.
663
00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:42,650
What's the matter with you?
664
00:35:42,700 --> 00:35:45,850
- I was busy helping Jack.
665
00:35:45,990 --> 00:35:47,620
Yeah, what have you got that's so special
666
00:35:47,690 --> 00:35:49,090
you've got to keep it hidden, huh?
667
00:35:49,150 --> 00:35:50,840
- I'm gonna do it.
668
00:35:55,380 --> 00:35:56,880
What's so funny?
669
00:35:56,940 --> 00:36:00,260
You don't have hair on
your chest, like Jack does.
670
00:36:00,410 --> 00:36:01,590
You knew that.
671
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:03,070
I don't usually like men who
672
00:36:03,130 --> 00:36:04,850
have hair on their chest, do you?
673
00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:06,330
Not usually.
674
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,050
But I like you in the nude, Jack.
675
00:36:08,130 --> 00:36:09,820
I like you, too, Betsy.
676
00:36:09,890 --> 00:36:11,550
And I like you, too, Elvira.
677
00:36:11,620 --> 00:36:13,090
Why, thank you.
678
00:36:13,150 --> 00:36:14,650
I like everyone here.
679
00:36:14,720 --> 00:36:16,280
But him.
680
00:36:16,350 --> 00:36:19,510
'Cause he won't take his pants off.
681
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,490
What do I get to wear?
682
00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:22,560
I've got just the thing.
683
00:36:22,610 --> 00:36:24,740
No.
684
00:36:29,860 --> 00:36:30,560
How about these?
685
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:32,220
Not yet.
686
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:39,500
Come on.
687
00:36:53,790 --> 00:36:55,200
Hey.
688
00:36:55,260 --> 00:36:56,690
Where did you get these Levi's?
689
00:36:56,750 --> 00:36:57,930
- Believe it or not, those
690
00:36:57,980 --> 00:37:01,110
Levi's once belonged to the Lone Ranger.
691
00:37:01,250 --> 00:37:04,600
Oh, it's turned into a roach already.
692
00:37:04,740 --> 00:37:06,150
Jack, I've gotta have boots.
693
00:37:06,210 --> 00:37:07,420
Sure thing, Kemosabe.
694
00:37:07,470 --> 00:37:09,890
"Kemosabe," that's a good one, too.
695
00:37:10,970 --> 00:37:12,150
Am I stoned, yet?
696
00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:13,660
I don't think so.
697
00:37:13,730 --> 00:37:15,390
Well, I'm sure trying.
698
00:37:15,460 --> 00:37:17,850
Jack, do you think I have
this thing on backwards?
699
00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:18,910
- Which way you facing?
700
00:37:18,950 --> 00:37:20,390
Boy, what a dumb question.
701
00:37:20,450 --> 00:37:22,110
Are you ever--
702
00:37:31,700 --> 00:37:34,320
Jesus Christ.
703
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,790
Go play.
704
00:37:51,370 --> 00:37:53,540
Want to dance?
705
00:37:54,630 --> 00:37:57,000
Oh, I don't think so.
706
00:37:57,100 --> 00:37:59,270
But I'll play the piano for you.
707
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,750
- Hi, there, cowboy.
708
00:38:03,820 --> 00:38:06,470
- All I know is what I
read in the newspapers.
709
00:38:06,580 --> 00:38:10,190
- Isn't the line, "I've never
met a man I didn't like?"
710
00:38:10,350 --> 00:38:12,000
- Huh?
711
00:38:12,310 --> 00:38:14,030
- Where'd you learn
to handle the rope like that?
712
00:38:14,110 --> 00:38:16,210
Just comes natural, I guess.
713
00:38:16,300 --> 00:38:18,920
Listen, how would you
like to come upstairs?
714
00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:20,240
Teach me how to do it.
715
00:38:20,300 --> 00:38:21,000
OK.
716
00:38:21,030 --> 00:38:22,940
- That was lovely, Betsy.
717
00:38:26,020 --> 00:38:28,890
What would you like to play now?
718
00:38:30,780 --> 00:38:33,170
I like to play the radio.
719
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,190
Eddie.
720
00:38:35,270 --> 00:38:36,230
Yeah.
721
00:38:36,270 --> 00:38:37,480
Come dance with me.
722
00:38:37,540 --> 00:38:38,460
- Huh?
723
00:38:38,500 --> 00:38:40,160
- OK.
724
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:03,290
Hi, there, Cowboy.
725
00:40:03,350 --> 00:40:04,490
Give it back.
726
00:40:04,540 --> 00:40:06,200
Give me my hat.
727
00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:07,710
Get it.
728
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,630
What are we gonna do now?
729
00:40:33,700 --> 00:40:36,570
I think dinner is almost ready.
730
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,330
- As twilight
enveloped the happy, homey house,
731
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:53,120
in the lush little Land
of Plenty, in the serene
732
00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:56,270
City of Leisure, bordering
on Decadence to the north,
733
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:58,820
and the state of Euphoria to the south,
734
00:40:58,930 --> 00:41:02,470
and resting lazily on the
western shore of the Idle Sea,
735
00:41:02,630 --> 00:41:06,450
Elvira and Jack, and Betsy,
and Eddie, were recovering
736
00:41:06,620 --> 00:41:09,270
from a rich, hearty meal.
737
00:41:26,390 --> 00:41:27,540
Now I have to go.
738
00:41:27,590 --> 00:41:28,130
Really?
739
00:41:28,150 --> 00:41:29,050
- Already?
740
00:41:29,090 --> 00:41:30,780
- To the toi-toi.
741
00:41:31,580 --> 00:41:33,500
Help yourself.
742
00:41:33,580 --> 00:41:35,720
I'm going to get some fresh air.
743
00:41:40,300 --> 00:41:41,990
Is it going to happen tonight, El?
744
00:41:42,070 --> 00:41:42,990
It had to.
745
00:41:43,030 --> 00:41:44,690
That's the way I look at it.
746
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:46,680
Because if it doesn't happen tonight,
747
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,190
it's not going to happen at all.
748
00:41:48,260 --> 00:41:49,950
A very astute appraisal.
749
00:41:50,020 --> 00:41:53,110
It isn't an appraisal,
Elvira, it's a reminder.
750
00:41:53,250 --> 00:41:55,640
The six months, the time limit,
751
00:41:55,750 --> 00:41:58,110
the six months will be up tomorrow.
752
00:41:58,210 --> 00:41:59,680
Tomorrow?
753
00:41:59,740 --> 00:42:01,620
Six months, those are the rules.
754
00:42:01,700 --> 00:42:03,390
I know the rules, but the exact day...
755
00:42:03,470 --> 00:42:06,560
This menu is dated, "January 10th."
756
00:42:06,700 --> 00:42:07,680
And?
757
00:42:07,730 --> 00:42:09,390
At midnight, do you
know what day it will be?
758
00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:10,380
Saturday.
759
00:42:10,430 --> 00:42:11,160
Go on.
760
00:42:11,190 --> 00:42:12,400
The 10th of July.
761
00:42:12,460 --> 00:42:15,550
Well, well, well, you did
know, after all, didn't you?
762
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,370
I haven't lost this one, yet.
763
00:42:17,450 --> 00:42:18,400
But you will, El.
764
00:42:18,450 --> 00:42:19,620
You're going to lose this one.
765
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,070
And the score will be tied again.
766
00:42:22,180 --> 00:42:23,130
Two and two.
767
00:42:23,170 --> 00:42:25,050
But as of now, the score is not tied.
768
00:42:25,140 --> 00:42:26,380
I am still ahead.
769
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:27,900
Two and two, El.
770
00:42:27,970 --> 00:42:29,340
Two and two.
771
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,610
The little manicurist.
772
00:42:30,660 --> 00:42:31,360
What was her name?
773
00:42:31,390 --> 00:42:33,590
You know God damn
well her name, "Linda."
774
00:42:33,690 --> 00:42:35,060
Oh, I'd forgotten it, already.
775
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:36,560
But I knew you hadn't.
776
00:42:36,620 --> 00:42:37,640
"Linda."
777
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,530
Linda and Betsy.
778
00:42:39,610 --> 00:42:40,820
That's two, El.
779
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,060
I count two.
780
00:42:42,110 --> 00:42:43,320
Two big failures.
781
00:42:43,380 --> 00:42:45,260
Two big goose eggs.
782
00:42:45,340 --> 00:42:47,290
The two that got away.
783
00:42:48,170 --> 00:42:50,500
If you want to stroll
down memory lane, my love,
784
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,290
we could spend an entire evening on
785
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,050
the Shell gas station attendant.
786
00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:54,830
All right.
787
00:42:54,860 --> 00:42:56,770
Or the Olympic pole vaulter.
788
00:42:56,860 --> 00:42:59,500
- But, I am not playing
the game this evening.
789
00:42:59,620 --> 00:43:01,470
I'm not "at bat," as it were.
790
00:43:01,550 --> 00:43:03,240
The evening isn't over, yet.
791
00:43:03,310 --> 00:43:05,230
As far as I can see, it is.
792
00:43:05,310 --> 00:43:08,210
In fact, I'd be willing to bet it is.
793
00:43:08,340 --> 00:43:10,220
Jack?
794
00:43:10,300 --> 00:43:11,770
You're not usually a gambling man.
795
00:43:11,830 --> 00:43:13,240
- True.
796
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,430
I'd even make the small token wager.
797
00:43:15,530 --> 00:43:16,990
Such as?
798
00:43:17,060 --> 00:43:19,670
The boy.
799
00:43:19,790 --> 00:43:20,970
Is he yours to bet?
800
00:43:21,020 --> 00:43:22,230
Well, what would you say?
801
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,900
What would your astute appraisal be?
802
00:43:25,010 --> 00:43:26,230
I would say it would be possible,
803
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,850
with a few well-chosen words,
and a pair of cowboy boots
804
00:43:30,010 --> 00:43:32,140
That is an astute appraisal.
805
00:43:32,240 --> 00:43:34,660
Well?
806
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,130
I have two hours, right?
807
00:43:39,230 --> 00:43:40,400
Those are the rules.
808
00:43:40,460 --> 00:43:43,330
And, if by the end of
that two hours, I have, um,
809
00:43:43,450 --> 00:43:44,890
achieved Betsy...
810
00:43:44,950 --> 00:43:46,480
Then you may have him, too.
811
00:43:46,550 --> 00:43:48,620
I will not even touch him.
812
00:43:48,710 --> 00:43:49,700
I will dispense with him.
813
00:43:49,750 --> 00:43:51,110
I will give him to you.
814
00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:54,080
A big, personal sacrifice, I might add.
815
00:43:54,210 --> 00:43:57,780
You see, El, you wouldn't appreciate him,
816
00:43:57,930 --> 00:43:59,810
half as much as I would.
817
00:43:59,900 --> 00:44:02,610
And worse than that.
818
00:44:02,720 --> 00:44:05,050
He wouldn't appreciate you.
819
00:44:05,150 --> 00:44:06,110
The hell I do.
820
00:44:06,150 --> 00:44:07,810
Yeah, you should see yourself.
821
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,700
Separate them, get him out of here,
822
00:44:09,780 --> 00:44:11,570
give me the last two hours.
823
00:44:11,650 --> 00:44:12,860
Oh, I don't know, El.
824
00:44:12,910 --> 00:44:16,230
You drive one hell of a hard bargain.
825
00:44:16,370 --> 00:44:17,840
I warn you.
826
00:44:17,900 --> 00:44:21,030
I only bet on sure things.
827
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,050
Still, there's the convent between
828
00:44:23,130 --> 00:44:25,300
you and that girl.
829
00:44:25,390 --> 00:44:27,750
I'll bet on the nuns.
830
00:44:28,350 --> 00:44:30,780
- Well, how we doing?
831
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:32,550
Well, Cowboy?
832
00:44:32,610 --> 00:44:34,020
Betsy says I look silly.
833
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:35,030
- Not to me, you don't.
834
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:36,290
If I didn't know better, I'd swear
835
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:38,480
I was a cowboy, you could fool me.
836
00:44:38,570 --> 00:44:40,740
I don't want to be
belligerant, or anything,
837
00:44:40,830 --> 00:44:42,750
but if anybody saw me, I bet they'd say,
838
00:44:42,830 --> 00:44:44,750
"There goes a cowboy from Montana."
839
00:44:44,830 --> 00:44:45,790
Then again, you might say,
840
00:44:45,830 --> 00:44:47,290
There goes a native New Yorker pretending
841
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,210
to be something he isn't."
842
00:44:49,290 --> 00:44:50,020
- You shut up.
843
00:44:50,050 --> 00:44:51,740
Only you're from New Jersey.
844
00:44:51,820 --> 00:44:53,570
- There's only one way to settle this.
845
00:44:53,650 --> 00:44:55,240
Let's go see.
846
00:44:55,310 --> 00:44:57,670
We'll all go out and test Eddie,
847
00:44:57,780 --> 00:45:00,200
and I'll keep score.
848
00:45:00,310 --> 00:45:03,180
- Are you going to go like that?
849
00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:06,870
Oh, well, I don't want to go, anyway.
850
00:45:07,030 --> 00:45:09,170
I'm having too much fun here.
851
00:45:09,260 --> 00:45:10,280
Well, I'm going.
852
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:11,920
But we'd have to take your word for it.
853
00:45:11,990 --> 00:45:13,170
- Wouldn't you
believe me, old buddy?
854
00:45:13,220 --> 00:45:14,460
I wouldn't believe you.
855
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:17,160
Would you believe me, Betsy?
856
00:45:18,510 --> 00:45:19,920
Well, how long are you going to be gone?
857
00:45:19,980 --> 00:45:21,700
- Just a few minutes.
858
00:45:21,770 --> 00:45:22,890
No.
859
00:45:22,940 --> 00:45:25,110
We might be gone a few hours.
860
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,640
Or a few days.
861
00:45:26,700 --> 00:45:29,090
Or maybe we won't come back at all.
862
00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:33,350
I'm gonna get a joint.
863
00:45:35,950 --> 00:45:38,570
"Greater love hath no man."
864
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:42,730
It isn't love, Jack.
865
00:45:42,910 --> 00:45:46,770
That never really was
a consideration, was it?
866
00:46:06,410 --> 00:46:08,990
- Did you always fight like that?
867
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:11,750
- Running around like
some kind of, midnight cowboy.
868
00:46:11,870 --> 00:46:14,070
He's gonna get himself arrested.
869
00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:15,050
- He's a big boy.
870
00:46:15,090 --> 00:46:16,310
- No, he isn't
871
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,460
- The name of
the game is, "me first."
872
00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,310
It's high time you found that out.
873
00:46:20,390 --> 00:46:21,980
- He's my husband.
874
00:46:22,050 --> 00:46:23,300
- That doesn't give him
875
00:46:23,350 --> 00:46:24,750
the right to hurt you that way.
876
00:46:24,810 --> 00:46:26,280
- He doesn't mean to.
877
00:46:26,340 --> 00:46:29,210
Perhaps you never should have
married him in the first place.
878
00:46:29,340 --> 00:46:31,000
- That's what everybody said.
879
00:46:31,070 --> 00:46:33,050
Even my brother, he was
Eddie's best friend,
880
00:46:33,140 --> 00:46:35,210
and even he said, "Don't marry Eddie."
881
00:46:35,300 --> 00:46:36,730
- He'll be back.
882
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,230
- I don't want him to come back.
883
00:46:38,290 --> 00:46:39,980
- If he does come
back, we won't let him in.
884
00:46:40,060 --> 00:46:41,010
- We'll lock him out.
885
00:46:41,060 --> 00:46:42,270
- Whatever you say.
886
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,200
- That'll fix
him for this morning.
887
00:46:44,290 --> 00:46:46,200
- This morning?
888
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,670
What happened this morning?
889
00:46:48,780 --> 00:46:51,620
- Well, he was in the bathroom,
890
00:46:51,740 --> 00:46:54,130
and I thought he was shaving, and I went
891
00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:58,290
in the door without knocking,
which is something I never do,
892
00:46:58,460 --> 00:47:03,090
and he was, he was...
893
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:28,640
It was like that.
894
00:47:28,720 --> 00:47:31,520
I bet he was thinking of gentlemen.
895
00:47:31,650 --> 00:47:34,520
And I wasn't it, at all.
896
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:39,430
He didn't want me.
897
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,490
You're sure lucky.
898
00:47:47,860 --> 00:47:49,770
You have such beautiful long legs,
899
00:47:49,860 --> 00:47:52,500
and beautiful breasts.
900
00:47:53,380 --> 00:47:55,740
And you have Jack.
901
00:47:56,580 --> 00:47:58,240
You look so pretty in black.
902
00:48:10,290 --> 00:48:12,940
I think I'd better go.
903
00:48:13,060 --> 00:48:14,230
Did I do something?
904
00:48:14,290 --> 00:48:15,500
It wasn't you.
905
00:48:15,550 --> 00:48:16,730
Then what, on Earth, is wrong?
906
00:48:16,780 --> 00:48:19,170
I was touching you.
907
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,190
- Do you think that makes you a Les..
- Well, I'm not.
908
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,190
- Are you afraid to stay?
- No!
909
00:48:23,270 --> 00:48:24,960
- You are, you're afraid of me.
- I am not.
910
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,400
- You're afraid of yourself.
- That's ridiculous.
911
00:48:27,500 --> 00:48:29,670
Do you think if you stayed,
something might happen?
912
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:30,940
Of course not.
913
00:48:30,990 --> 00:48:32,680
Even if we sleep in the same bed?
914
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:34,900
You don't believe that, or you'd stay.
915
00:48:34,990 --> 00:48:37,600
I just think it would be better if I go.
916
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:41,430
But where will I go?
917
00:48:41,510 --> 00:48:43,650
- Well, you could go home.
918
00:48:43,740 --> 00:48:45,400
- No, I want to be with someone,
919
00:48:45,470 --> 00:48:47,900
but, it should be Eddie.
920
00:48:54,190 --> 00:48:57,290
My mamma used to have a music box.
921
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:00,630
I want you to have this one.
922
00:49:01,410 --> 00:49:03,580
A present.
923
00:49:03,950 --> 00:49:05,630
From me.
924
00:49:05,710 --> 00:49:07,820
To you.
925
00:49:08,670 --> 00:49:10,140
What's the matter?
926
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,310
I have an awful headache.
927
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,050
I'm afraid I'm not a very good junkie.
928
00:49:17,160 --> 00:49:20,480
Am I having, what they call a "bad trip"?
929
00:49:20,620 --> 00:49:22,090
Nothing that exciting.
930
00:49:22,150 --> 00:49:26,940
I'd say that, what you really
need is to lie down and relax.
931
00:49:28,140 --> 00:49:30,980
Except I'm sure that you'd misunderstand.
932
00:49:32,100 --> 00:49:35,710
I can't remember the
last time I had a back rub.
933
00:49:35,870 --> 00:49:37,750
Eddie's not very good at it.
934
00:49:37,830 --> 00:49:40,000
Well I am.
935
00:49:40,620 --> 00:49:43,430
My mamma used to give me back rubs.
936
00:49:43,550 --> 00:49:46,740
That's how long ago it's been.
937
00:49:50,540 --> 00:49:53,000
That feels so good.
938
00:49:53,110 --> 00:49:56,130
So fucking good.
939
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:58,460
That's the first time
940
00:49:58,530 --> 00:50:01,180
I've ever said "fuck" in my whole life!
941
00:50:01,830 --> 00:50:04,180
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
942
00:50:06,750 --> 00:50:09,620
I lost my true lover
943
00:50:09,750 --> 00:50:12,870
For portin' too slow
944
00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:14,000
- Hello!
945
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:14,970
We're back!
946
00:50:15,010 --> 00:50:15,960
- Shh!
947
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,180
Where is everybody?
948
00:50:17,230 --> 00:50:18,190
Shh!
949
00:50:18,230 --> 00:50:20,400
One... shh...
950
00:50:20,500 --> 00:50:21,420
Here.
951
00:50:21,460 --> 00:50:22,930
You work on this, Cowboy.
952
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:24,490
Just go downstairs in the den.
953
00:50:24,560 --> 00:50:25,680
Wait for me there.
954
00:50:25,730 --> 00:50:27,410
I'll go see how the girls are doing.
955
00:50:27,490 --> 00:50:29,110
Jack.
956
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:48,140
Hello?
957
00:50:48,190 --> 00:50:49,110
Is she there?
958
00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:50,110
Who is that, Eddie?
959
00:50:50,150 --> 00:50:51,620
My stockbroker.
960
00:50:51,690 --> 00:50:52,830
At this hour?
961
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,280
He's, um, calling from New York.
962
00:50:55,380 --> 00:50:58,250
Quicksilver, nothing's happened.
963
00:50:58,380 --> 00:50:59,880
But I still have 20.
964
00:50:59,940 --> 00:51:02,270
Is that what your records show?
965
00:51:02,370 --> 00:51:03,580
Concede.
966
00:51:03,640 --> 00:51:05,070
- Not on your life.
967
00:51:05,130 --> 00:51:07,270
Would you prefer we stay downstairs?
968
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,280
Would you mind, terribly?
969
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:12,490
You know, you could
buy another hour or two.
970
00:51:12,620 --> 00:51:13,800
- How?
971
00:51:13,850 --> 00:51:15,290
Forget about the side bet.
972
00:51:15,350 --> 00:51:17,550
- That's what I
thought you had in mind.
973
00:51:17,650 --> 00:51:18,600
Never.
974
00:51:18,650 --> 00:51:21,930
I am not interested in that stock.
975
00:51:22,070 --> 00:51:23,510
OK, 20 minutes.
976
00:51:23,570 --> 00:51:25,290
But, if you're not down here, gloating,
977
00:51:25,370 --> 00:51:28,910
over your latest
achievement, the boy is mine.
978
00:51:29,060 --> 00:51:31,520
- 20, it is.
979
00:51:31,630 --> 00:51:32,990
And not a point more.
980
00:51:33,060 --> 00:51:35,260
Scorpio, signing off.
981
00:51:36,790 --> 00:51:39,180
- What did your broker say?
982
00:51:39,550 --> 00:51:41,240
Oh, the usual.
983
00:51:41,310 --> 00:51:45,360
Some things are going up, and
some things are going down.
984
00:51:45,540 --> 00:51:47,230
The girls got tired of waiting up,
985
00:51:47,300 --> 00:51:48,510
decided to go to sleep.
986
00:51:48,570 --> 00:51:50,700
- Well, wake 'em up,
I want to tell her who won.
987
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,680
- Tell her in the morning, old buddy.
- I want to tell her now.
988
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:54,930
- Look, old buddy.
- Yeah, old buddy?
989
00:51:55,020 --> 00:51:56,650
You know, and I know, that everybody
990
00:51:56,720 --> 00:51:58,220
thought you were a cowboy.
991
00:51:58,290 --> 00:51:59,940
Isn't that enough?
992
00:52:00,020 --> 00:52:02,120
Well, I've got to get her up
and take her home, anyway.
993
00:52:02,210 --> 00:52:04,450
Oh, let her sleep.
994
00:52:04,540 --> 00:52:06,490
You don't have to get up in the morning.
995
00:52:06,570 --> 00:52:08,140
It's Saturday.
996
00:52:08,210 --> 00:52:08,970
Sleep over.
997
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:09,710
Where?
998
00:52:09,740 --> 00:52:10,470
On the floor?
999
00:52:10,500 --> 00:52:11,900
No, this opens up.
1000
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:13,880
No.
1001
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:15,660
Magic.
1002
00:52:15,990 --> 00:52:19,760
Maybe I should just go tell
him, I saw him this morning.
1003
00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:21,610
- Not tonight.
1004
00:52:21,690 --> 00:52:22,860
You're not thinking clearly.
1005
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:24,610
- Oh, yes, I am, Elvira.
1006
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:28,030
I am totally, um, together.
1007
00:52:28,170 --> 00:52:30,370
Wait until morning.
1008
00:52:30,470 --> 00:52:33,090
You'll be in complete control, then.
1009
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:35,780
- Well, that makes sense.
1010
00:52:35,900 --> 00:52:39,240
You always make sense, Elvira.
1011
00:52:39,390 --> 00:52:43,190
- Now, close your eyes.
1012
00:52:43,350 --> 00:52:45,300
- I'll stay.
1013
00:52:46,850 --> 00:52:49,490
Boy, you're certainly having a hell
of a time with that, old buddy.
1014
00:52:49,610 --> 00:52:52,740
Well, don't just sit there
on your butt, give me a hand!
1015
00:52:53,140 --> 00:52:55,020
All right, just relax.
1016
00:52:57,830 --> 00:52:59,300
Relax.
1017
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:02,230
I was afraid you might
not be able to sleep.
1018
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,460
In this bed.
1019
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,680
Knowing what happened here, last night.
1020
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,440
I hadn't even thought
about it, 'til now.
1021
00:53:10,550 --> 00:53:14,440
- Oh, I'm sorry.
1022
00:53:14,610 --> 00:53:15,980
Don't apologize.
1023
00:53:16,040 --> 00:53:18,240
- My stomach's not
feeling too good, tonight.
1024
00:53:18,330 --> 00:53:20,440
You're really a big worrier, aren't you?
1025
00:53:20,530 --> 00:53:22,440
- That's what they tell me.
1026
00:53:22,530 --> 00:53:24,700
Really at odds with yourself.
1027
00:53:24,790 --> 00:53:26,230
What is it, the job?
1028
00:53:26,290 --> 00:53:27,470
That's part of it.
1029
00:53:27,520 --> 00:53:29,660
- Oh.
- What is this, I don't even know you.
1030
00:53:29,750 --> 00:53:32,400
How can I tell you the
story of my life, just like that?
1031
00:53:32,510 --> 00:53:33,950
That's the secret, Cowboy.
1032
00:53:34,010 --> 00:53:35,670
Only talk to strangers.
1033
00:53:35,740 --> 00:53:37,880
Don't tell your friends a God damn thing.
1034
00:53:37,970 --> 00:53:40,400
There's some kind of crazy
logic in that, isn't there?
1035
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:41,460
A little music?
1036
00:53:43,230 --> 00:53:44,660
- You know when
you hate to go to work
1037
00:53:44,730 --> 00:53:46,390
in the morning, and you
hate to come home at night,
1038
00:53:46,460 --> 00:53:47,890
there's not a hell of a lot left.
1039
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:49,650
Made a mistake or two, huh?
1040
00:53:49,720 --> 00:53:51,190
- Or 50.
1041
00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:01,100
- What are you doing?
1042
00:54:03,430 --> 00:54:04,900
Smoking.
1043
00:54:05,430 --> 00:54:06,640
OK.
1044
00:54:06,700 --> 00:54:07,650
Do you want a pill?
1045
00:54:07,700 --> 00:54:09,350
I can't take the pill, I'm Catholic.
1046
00:54:09,430 --> 00:54:10,860
Not "the" pill.
1047
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:14,970
- "A" pill.
- Did you ever see that poster
1048
00:54:15,150 --> 00:54:18,240
in the States that says,
"The pill is a no-no."
1049
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,590
Want me to tell you something?
1050
00:54:21,670 --> 00:54:23,560
- What?
1051
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:25,810
I think marriage is a "no-no."
1052
00:54:25,900 --> 00:54:27,850
Maybe.
1053
00:54:27,930 --> 00:54:29,560
For you.
1054
00:54:29,630 --> 00:54:33,420
- You're so lucky
to have somebody like Jack.
1055
00:54:33,590 --> 00:54:36,240
- I suppose.
1056
00:54:36,890 --> 00:54:39,020
Jack and I have a pretty good arrangement.
1057
00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:40,550
- Damn near perfect for us.
1058
00:54:40,610 --> 00:54:42,270
And then, there's my work.
1059
00:54:42,340 --> 00:54:44,260
- What kind of
photography do you do?
1060
00:54:44,340 --> 00:54:45,550
- Fashion.
1061
00:54:45,610 --> 00:54:47,490
Female and male.
1062
00:54:47,570 --> 00:54:48,560
A little of each.
1063
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:50,260
- Oh, yeah?
1064
00:54:52,330 --> 00:54:54,460
How long has it been, since
you looked at one of those?
1065
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:55,770
About a year.
1066
00:54:55,820 --> 00:54:57,260
- Eddie had
been to this convention.
1067
00:54:57,320 --> 00:54:59,010
and when he came home, I was going
1068
00:54:59,090 --> 00:55:02,180
to unpack a suitcase,
but he wouldn't let me.
1069
00:55:02,310 --> 00:55:04,900
I didn't think much about it, at the time.
1070
00:55:05,010 --> 00:55:06,730
- Ever look at the others?
1071
00:55:06,810 --> 00:55:08,660
Yeah, once.
1072
00:55:08,740 --> 00:55:10,430
And then, the next day, I was throwing
1073
00:55:10,500 --> 00:55:13,150
out the garbage, and the sack broke.
1074
00:55:13,270 --> 00:55:16,870
And there were all these dirty magazines.
1075
00:55:17,030 --> 00:55:19,390
Except they were men.
1076
00:55:19,490 --> 00:55:20,990
Naked men.
1077
00:55:21,050 --> 00:55:22,200
Maybe he likes both.
1078
00:55:22,250 --> 00:55:24,870
Jack's been to bed with a man, before.
1079
00:55:24,980 --> 00:55:26,420
- Well, have you?
1080
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:27,430
What?
1081
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:29,900
Ever been to bed with a man before?
1082
00:55:30,010 --> 00:55:31,190
No.
1083
00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:34,080
He wants to, but I don't think he has.
1084
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,370
Well, not since I was 15, you know,
1085
00:55:36,460 --> 00:55:37,900
a little mutual messing around.
1086
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,380
- I guess we've
all done a little of that.
1087
00:55:40,490 --> 00:55:42,600
- Did you ever tell Elvira?
- Elvira?
1088
00:55:42,690 --> 00:55:44,350
Let me tell you something.
1089
00:55:44,420 --> 00:55:48,020
I don't usually like to talk about it,
but, what the hell?
1090
00:55:48,180 --> 00:55:50,090
You know, when I first met Elvira,
1091
00:55:50,180 --> 00:55:54,000
it took me a long time to get used to her.
1092
00:55:54,170 --> 00:55:56,310
Up and down the coast, everybody knew her.
1093
00:55:56,400 --> 00:55:57,580
Or knew of her.
1094
00:55:57,630 --> 00:55:58,880
Her adventures.
1095
00:55:58,930 --> 00:56:00,840
And then, little by little, I found out
1096
00:56:00,930 --> 00:56:03,990
that everything I'd
heard about her was true.
1097
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:07,470
But it didn't matter, because
I still wanted to marry her.
1098
00:56:07,620 --> 00:56:09,820
But before I asked her, I said..
1099
00:56:09,910 --> 00:56:13,930
Elvira? I know you'd just
as soon jump in the sack
1100
00:56:14,110 --> 00:56:16,020
with a woman as a man, wouldn't you?
1101
00:56:16,110 --> 00:56:17,790
Jack.
1102
00:56:17,870 --> 00:56:19,530
I'd jump in the sack with a porcupine,
1103
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:23,430
- if it struck my fancy.
- Didn't make any sense to me, then,
1104
00:56:23,590 --> 00:56:27,170
but, over the years,
it's begun to rub off.
1105
00:56:27,890 --> 00:56:29,990
- Did I ever
tell you how I met Eddie?
1106
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:32,270
No.
1107
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:34,710
- I've known him all my life.
1108
00:56:34,810 --> 00:56:36,950
He's my brother's best friend.
1109
00:56:37,040 --> 00:56:39,720
He and Tommy were inseparable.
1110
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:41,210
Tommy.
1111
00:56:41,270 --> 00:56:42,770
- This kid who
lived around the corner.
1112
00:56:42,830 --> 00:56:44,740
He was a year older than I was.
1113
00:56:44,830 --> 00:56:46,460
We used to go down to the basement.
1114
00:56:46,530 --> 00:56:47,740
Where's your brother now?
1115
00:56:47,790 --> 00:56:48,970
- Oh, he's in Hollywood,
1116
00:56:49,020 --> 00:56:50,900
trying to get into the movies.
1117
00:56:50,990 --> 00:56:52,260
- Movies, huh?
1118
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:54,390
I've been making movies, myself,lately.
1119
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:55,690
- Oh, yeah?
1120
00:56:55,750 --> 00:56:56,730
- Yeah.
1121
00:56:56,780 --> 00:57:00,350
It's about these two guys who
meet on a bus trip, out west.
1122
00:57:00,510 --> 00:57:01,430
- Out west?
1123
00:57:01,470 --> 00:57:02,710
Seems like a...
1124
00:57:02,770 --> 00:57:04,400
Well, I suppose you've
seen it, so many times.
1125
00:57:04,470 --> 00:57:07,590
No, as a matter of fact,
I was thinking of running it,tonight.
1126
00:57:07,730 --> 00:57:11,110
I want to cut out a couple of shots.
1127
00:57:11,260 --> 00:57:13,620
- Well, go ahead, I don't mind.
1128
00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:15,150
I'm not really very sleepy.
1129
00:57:15,220 --> 00:57:18,790
I don't know how I'm
going to get to sleep.
1130
00:57:21,440 --> 00:57:22,880
- We'll have to
show it on the wall.
1131
00:57:22,940 --> 00:57:24,150
Screen's up in the bedroom, and
1132
00:57:24,200 --> 00:57:25,860
we don't want to wake the girls.
1133
00:57:25,930 --> 00:57:27,110
- Want another backrub?
1134
00:57:27,170 --> 00:57:28,380
- That would be nice.
1135
00:57:28,430 --> 00:57:29,830
- I've got a better idea.
1136
00:57:29,900 --> 00:57:31,620
- What's that?
1137
00:57:37,150 --> 00:57:40,280
- Hey, I said "the
wall," not "your belly."
1138
00:57:53,130 --> 00:57:54,750
- Come.
1139
00:58:28,770 --> 00:58:31,420
- Wild, pretty wild.
1140
00:58:45,220 --> 00:58:47,420
It's better, stoned.
1141
00:58:58,460 --> 00:59:00,600
- Much better.
1142
00:59:01,190 --> 00:59:04,060
- I sleep in the raw.
1143
00:59:04,490 --> 00:59:06,820
Do you mind?
1144
00:59:22,630 --> 00:59:24,610
You're the boss.
1145
00:59:32,110 --> 00:59:33,770
Do you?
1146
00:59:33,850 --> 00:59:34,830
Sometimes.
1147
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:36,540
Sometimes?
1148
00:59:36,610 --> 00:59:38,740
Are you gonna sleep in all that denim?
1149
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,760
I never could sleep in much of anything.
1150
00:59:46,860 --> 00:59:48,740
Could you?
1151
00:59:53,350 --> 00:59:55,930
I do, sometimes.
1152
00:59:57,540 --> 00:59:59,710
I kind of hate to take it off.
1153
00:59:59,810 --> 01:00:04,110
I had such a good time, tonight.
1154
01:00:06,330 --> 01:00:09,170
Such a good time.
1155
01:02:52,450 --> 01:02:54,030
What time is it?
1156
01:02:55,150 --> 01:02:56,610
- Nearly midnight.
1157
01:02:56,610 --> 01:02:58,370
- Nearly midnight?
1158
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:00,800
A little before.
1159
01:03:01,900 --> 01:03:03,340
That clock's slow.
1160
01:03:03,340 --> 01:03:04,790
That watch is fast.
1161
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:07,700
- Bingo.
1162
01:03:07,700 --> 01:03:10,380
- Bingo...
1163
01:21:12,170 --> 01:21:13,320
- Good morning.
1164
01:21:14,170 --> 01:21:15,320
- Sleep well?
1165
01:21:14,550 --> 01:21:17,270
- Yes.
1166
01:22:08,170 --> 01:22:08,490
Eddie.
1167
01:22:08,490 --> 01:22:09,190
Eddie?
1168
01:22:11,050 --> 01:22:11,750
Hey there, Cowboy.
1169
01:22:12,610 --> 01:22:14,180
Bad dream?
1170
01:22:15,070 --> 01:22:15,600
Jack.
1171
01:22:16,500 --> 01:22:18,380
Oh, yeah, a bad dream.
1172
01:22:19,200 --> 01:22:20,430
What was it?
1173
01:22:20,430 --> 01:22:20,850
Can't remember?
1174
01:22:21,760 --> 01:22:23,390
No, I never can.
1175
01:22:24,270 --> 01:22:26,440
Don't worry about it.
1176
01:22:27,210 --> 01:22:28,100
OK.
1177
01:22:52,500 --> 01:22:52,740
- Good morning.
1178
01:22:52,740 --> 01:22:55,310
- We've got to get out of here.
- What's the matter with you?
1179
01:22:55,310 --> 01:22:57,380
- We've got to get out of here.
- What's the rush?
1180
01:22:57,380 --> 01:22:59,030
We'll talk about it later.
1181
01:22:59,030 --> 01:23:00,420
Look, are you telling me what to do?
1182
01:23:00,420 --> 01:23:01,770
- God damn right, I am.
1183
01:23:01,770 --> 01:23:02,770
- Oh, Eddie.
1184
01:23:04,770 --> 01:23:06,770
I'm so tired of trying, aren't you?
1185
01:23:06,770 --> 01:23:06,850
Maybe, we could--
1186
01:23:06,850 --> 01:23:08,120
No more "maybes."
1187
01:23:08,120 --> 01:23:10,940
We've got to stop pretending
and blaming each other.
1188
01:23:10,940 --> 01:23:13,050
I've blamed you for so long.
1189
01:23:13,050 --> 01:23:15,050
That's all right.
1190
01:23:15,050 --> 01:23:17,300
No, I was wrong, don't
you see, it was me.
1191
01:23:18,300 --> 01:23:20,700
Look, maybe you and I were a mistake.
1192
01:23:20,710 --> 01:23:23,090
But that doesn't mean we belong here.
1193
01:23:23,090 --> 01:23:24,090
- I do.
1194
01:23:25,400 --> 01:23:28,470
- No, maybe I do.
1195
01:23:29,270 --> 01:23:30,040
But not you.
1196
01:23:32,270 --> 01:23:33,040
Oh.
1197
01:23:35,420 --> 01:23:38,820
Well, we seem to be porcupines
all over the place, this morning.
1198
01:23:39,430 --> 01:23:39,930
- "Porcupines"?
1199
01:23:41,860 --> 01:23:43,980
- Eddie, did you...?
1200
01:23:46,760 --> 01:23:48,280
- Did you?
1201
01:23:48,280 --> 01:23:49,740
- Yep.
1202
01:23:50,630 --> 01:23:51,870
- Wow.
1203
01:23:51,870 --> 01:23:53,270
- The score remains, two to one.
1204
01:23:53,270 --> 01:23:55,770
- Congratulations.
- As it happened, at the stroke of midnight,
1205
01:23:55,770 --> 01:23:58,250
I was too involved to file a report.
1206
01:23:58,250 --> 01:23:59,580
That's what I figured.
1207
01:24:00,500 --> 01:24:01,820
So, I helped myself.
1208
01:24:01,820 --> 01:24:02,820
Do you mind?
1209
01:24:02,820 --> 01:24:05,590
- You always find
the "Escape Clause," Jack.
1210
01:24:05,590 --> 01:24:06,760
Where is he?
1211
01:24:06,770 --> 01:24:07,080
- With Betsy.
1212
01:24:07,100 --> 01:24:09,580
A bad case of "the morning after."
1213
01:24:09,590 --> 01:24:10,780
How was she?
1214
01:24:10,790 --> 01:24:13,620
Ready to put a down payment on
the vine covered cottage.
1215
01:24:13,620 --> 01:24:14,760
How was he?
1216
01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:17,190
A very gifted amateur.
1217
01:24:17,200 --> 01:24:18,410
Do you want him?
1218
01:24:18,410 --> 01:24:19,050
- Not really.
1219
01:24:19,050 --> 01:24:21,930
Oh, it's just as well.
1220
01:24:21,930 --> 01:24:24,560
I doubt that he'd be interested,
now that he's found himself.
1221
01:24:24,610 --> 01:24:27,170
In that case, I might be interested.
1222
01:24:28,030 --> 01:24:28,540
The turn-about?
1223
01:24:28,540 --> 01:24:31,480
- Why not?
That should annihilate the day.
1224
01:24:33,290 --> 01:24:35,980
You don't suppose they'll want to
stay the whole weekend, do you?
1225
01:24:35,980 --> 01:24:39,390
I doubt it.
Church on Sunday, you know.
1226
01:24:39,490 --> 01:24:41,100
They'll get there early, this week.
1227
01:24:41,100 --> 01:24:43,280
In the meantime, however...
1228
01:24:43,290 --> 01:24:45,720
Yes, there is always "the meantime."
1229
01:24:45,740 --> 01:24:46,390
Always.
1230
01:24:57,070 --> 01:24:59,500
- Hey, is the, uh, "lady
of the house" home?
1231
01:24:59,500 --> 01:25:01,160
I'm Jack, I live here.
1232
01:25:01,880 --> 01:25:02,190
Mike.
1233
01:25:02,270 --> 01:25:03,520
- "Mike."
1234
01:25:03,530 --> 01:25:05,930
Yeah, Elvira speaks very highly of you.
1235
01:25:05,930 --> 01:25:08,400
I've heard a lot about you, too, Jack.
1236
01:25:10,490 --> 01:25:11,550
-Mike.
1237
01:25:11,550 --> 01:25:13,400
- Well, you said
to come back, any time.
1238
01:25:13,410 --> 01:25:15,520
- You remember Betsy.
- Hi.
1239
01:25:17,520 --> 01:25:19,840
- And this is Eddie.
- How are you?
1240
01:25:19,840 --> 01:25:22,600
- The husband.
- Oh, hi.
1241
01:25:37,100 --> 01:25:41,100
- I'm going to get our things.
- Hey, wai...
1242
01:25:41,100 --> 01:25:42,440
Excuse me.
1243
01:25:42,440 --> 01:25:44,150
- Give ya a minute.
1244
01:25:45,770 --> 01:25:48,240
Hell of a party, for so
early in the morning.
1245
01:25:48,240 --> 01:25:49,860
Leftovers, strictly leftovers.
1246
01:25:49,860 --> 01:25:52,260
There are Bloody Marys on ice, Jack.
1247
01:25:52,260 --> 01:25:54,280
- Betsy, you can't
change your whole life,
1248
01:25:54,280 --> 01:25:56,210
just because you got stoned one night.
1249
01:26:02,300 --> 01:26:03,280
Well, I'm leaving.
1250
01:26:03,880 --> 01:26:05,010
- Well, it seems to me,
1251
01:26:05,010 --> 01:26:07,520
that you could give it a
little more of a chance.
1252
01:26:07,520 --> 01:26:10,500
- But then, I don't really care.
- A little family squabble, eh?
1253
01:26:10,500 --> 01:26:12,640
Nothing serious.
My husband's leaving.
1254
01:26:12,640 --> 01:26:16,100
Betsy, why don't you
get Mike a cup of coffee?
1255
01:26:16,100 --> 01:26:16,380
No, thanks.
1256
01:26:16,380 --> 01:26:18,630
Oh, she pulled that one on you, huh?
1257
01:26:18,630 --> 01:26:20,790
- Do we have to
go through that again?
1258
01:26:20,790 --> 01:26:22,640
Oh, we play all kinds
of games around here
1259
01:26:22,650 --> 01:26:23,560
- I noticed.
1260
01:26:25,030 --> 01:26:26,570
Still got your Polaroid?
1261
01:26:26,720 --> 01:26:30,100
- Well, old buddy,
what shall we do for starters?
1262
01:26:30,100 --> 01:26:32,420
Dump Bloody Marys all over each other?
1263
01:26:32,420 --> 01:26:34,870
Let's skip the preliminary festivities,
and get to the games.
1264
01:26:35,070 --> 01:26:36,430
- What did you have in mind?
1265
01:26:36,430 --> 01:26:38,910
Well, I'll try anything once.
1266
01:26:38,920 --> 01:26:41,000
There's a first time for everything.
1267
01:26:41,000 --> 01:26:42,740
- Except, this isn't
the first time, is it?
1268
01:26:43,620 --> 01:26:46,490
Well, I don't keep score.
1269
01:27:00,500 --> 01:27:03,360
You sure as hell know
how to throw a good party.
1270
01:27:05,830 --> 01:27:10,000
Hey, Jack!
Where the hell did you get those?
1271
01:27:10,000 --> 01:27:11,690
We haven't had any of
those since Amsterdam.
1272
01:27:11,690 --> 01:27:14,490
- Hey, you better catch up.
- Give her one of those, Mike.
1273
01:27:14,490 --> 01:27:16,580
In ten minutes shell be
laughing her head off.
1274
01:27:16,590 --> 01:27:18,920
Should I, Elvira?
1275
01:27:18,930 --> 01:27:20,820
For old time's sake.
1276
01:27:22,620 --> 01:27:24,890
- Here we go.
1277
01:27:27,650 --> 01:27:30,660
Look at these little, cute panties.
1278
01:27:31,460 --> 01:27:32,560
- Bull's eye.
1279
01:27:36,260 --> 01:27:37,770
- Oh, sorry, Elvira.
1280
01:27:37,770 --> 01:27:39,440
Say, sweetheart, where did you go?
1281
01:27:39,440 --> 01:27:41,340
Don't be so standoffish.
1282
01:27:47,670 --> 01:27:50,210
I've got this German Shepherd at home,
and you know what he calls this?
1283
01:27:50,210 --> 01:27:51,360
"People style."
1284
01:27:52,360 --> 01:27:54,360
I'm sorry, I'm such a hurriest
1285
01:27:55,120 --> 01:27:56,570
Hey, buddy.
1286
01:27:56,570 --> 01:27:57,580
Where do you work out?
1287
01:27:58,580 --> 01:28:01,370
Later, Jack, can't you see I'm busy?
1288
01:28:01,370 --> 01:28:02,870
- Hey,You can leave me.
1289
01:28:04,060 --> 01:28:08,550
Elvira, Elvira, remember
what I said this morning?
1290
01:28:08,550 --> 01:28:10,360
Everything I said was true.
1291
01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:12,330
It doesn't really matter who you love,
1292
01:28:12,330 --> 01:28:14,380
just as long as you do.
1293
01:28:15,580 --> 01:28:16,910
- Your knee is in my...
1294
01:28:26,710 --> 01:28:29,000
Eddie, honey, where are you going?
1295
01:28:30,000 --> 01:28:30,840
I don't know.
1296
01:28:32,120 --> 01:28:34,170
Are you gonna go home?
1297
01:28:34,180 --> 01:28:35,730
I don't know where I'm going.
1298
01:28:36,600 --> 01:28:39,460
Well, why don't you go bowling?
1299
01:28:39,990 --> 01:28:40,990
- "Bowling"?
1300
01:28:40,990 --> 01:28:41,990
- Bowling.
1301
01:28:42,590 --> 01:28:43,100
- Bowling.
1302
01:28:43,100 --> 01:28:44,610
Uh, where do you go?
1303
01:28:45,510 --> 01:28:47,950
About ten kilometers south of here.
1304
01:28:47,960 --> 01:28:50,570
I know that place, I go there, myself.
1305
01:28:50,570 --> 01:28:51,680
Oh, yeah?
1306
01:28:51,680 --> 01:28:54,880
We go there, all the time.
Don't we, Eddie?
1307
01:28:55,650 --> 01:28:58,080
Eddie bought me a bowling
ball for Christmas.
1308
01:28:58,090 --> 01:28:59,320
- Well, I've got one, too.
1309
01:28:59,320 --> 01:29:01,440
Oh, yeah?
So have I.
1310
01:29:03,010 --> 01:29:06,450
You'll have to come
over and see it, sometime.
1311
01:29:09,170 --> 01:29:10,430
- When?
1312
01:29:12,950 --> 01:29:14,750
Well, how about right now?
1313
01:29:15,600 --> 01:29:17,550
- Let's get this show on the road.
1314
01:29:17,550 --> 01:29:20,720
You can come over brunch,
and you and Eddie can...
1315
01:29:20,720 --> 01:29:22,490
"Watch television."
1316
01:29:22,490 --> 01:29:23,170
- Yeah.
1317
01:29:23,170 --> 01:29:25,000
Son of a bitch.
1318
01:29:25,000 --> 01:29:27,390
We've imposed on your
hospitality long enough.
1319
01:29:28,890 --> 01:29:30,390
How do you think we'll
do in the Olympics?
1320
01:29:33,160 --> 01:29:36,980
- Hey, why don't we all get together
one evening, next week,
1321
01:29:36,980 --> 01:29:38,920
and play "Bingo."
1322
01:29:53,100 --> 01:29:57,050
Well, Svengali darling, there goes Trilby.
1323
01:29:57,050 --> 01:30:01,880
Looking suspiciously like
the Frankenstein monster.
1324
01:30:04,490 --> 01:30:07,290
- And so,
like all fairy tales,
1325
01:30:07,290 --> 01:30:09,490
everyone had a happy ending.
1326
01:30:09,490 --> 01:30:12,020
At the stroke of midnight, Cinderella
1327
01:30:12,020 --> 01:30:14,610
turned into the Wicked Witch of the West.
1328
01:30:14,610 --> 01:30:19,330
And the Big Bad Wolf made
friends with Prince Charming.
1329
01:30:19,330 --> 01:30:23,590
Fairy tales do, indeed,
make strange bedfellows.
1330
01:30:23,600 --> 01:30:26,680
As for Mamma & Pappa Bear,
they remained
1331
01:30:26,680 --> 01:30:31,040
bosom buddies, devoted
chums, the best of friends,
1332
01:30:31,040 --> 01:30:33,050
husband and wife.
1333
01:30:33,060 --> 01:30:33,990
The perfect marriage.
1334
01:30:36,830 --> 01:30:38,460
Now, where were we?
1335
01:30:38,460 --> 01:30:41,430
There's the new Michael
Powell film at the cinema.
1336
01:30:55,840 --> 01:30:58,910
- Let's have a cup of
coffee here, after the movie.
1337
01:30:59,700 --> 01:31:01,880
- Good idea.
1338
01:31:14,490 --> 01:31:17,240
- In the meantime,
what is the always the meantime,
1339
01:31:17,240 --> 01:31:22,010
fantasy reigns supreme,
and all the people of Leisure,
1340
01:31:22,010 --> 01:31:24,330
in the lush little Land of Plenty,
1341
01:31:24,340 --> 01:31:27,650
lived happily, if loosely, ever after.
92345
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