All language subtitles for Seinfeld.S07E21E22.The.Bottle.Deposit.720p.HULU.WEBRip.AAC2.0.H.264-NTb

I love when you get your car
back from the car place,

and it's got that...
paper mat on the floor.

Like they're so obsessed
with cleanliness.

They don't even
want their shoes
to touch the carpet.

Meanwhile,
the mechanic comes out.

He looks like Al Jolson.

He's covered in goo
from head to toe.

You can't even see him.

Although I prefer that
to when they have
the lab coat,

the clipboard,
the nice glasses.

Now you know
you're getting screwed.

"Can I see it?"
"You better not.

"It's idling quietly
right now.

"I think it should
stay overnight.

"I think it should
stay overnight.

"We wanna keep
an eye on it,

and we wanna keep the bill
running up."

You can tell the players
that I reimbursed the trainer

for the cigarettes
and the diet shakes.

The players will
be reimbursed?

The trainer, George.

Tell the players
I reimbursed the trainer.

What's the matter?
This is the third time
I had to repeat myself.

Sorry, Mr. Wilhelm.
Sorry doesn't cut it.

We're running
a ball club here, George.

You've got to
pay attention.

I know, sir.
It won't happen again.

Let me see. I, uh...

I had an assignment
for you.

Huh. Let me...
Let me think here.

PETERMAN:
Elaine.

Hi, Mr. Peterman.

You know
what a huge fan I am
of John F. Kennedy.

I do.

It was the Peace Corps
that gave me my start
in this business.

Clothing the naked natives
of Bangtubesh.

The Pygmy pullover.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Sotheby's is
having an auction
of JFK's memorabilia.

One item in particular
has caught my eye.

One item in particular
has caught my eye.

The presidential
golf clubs.

Oh.
To me,

they capture
that indefinable romance
that was Camelot.

Eh. Whatever.

But unfortunately,
I will be out of town
with my lady friend

and therefore
unable to bid
on the lot.

I was hoping maybe
you would go in my stead.

Oh. Oh, yeah.
I'd be happy to.

How much do you
want this thing?

I mean, you know,
how high are
you willing to go?

I would see no trouble
in spending up to, say,

$10,000.

Have my secretary
give you a signed check.

Wow.

...when you're done, George,
and bring it directly to me.

Mr. Steinbrenner
is very interested
in this.

Yes, sir.

Yes, George.

I want you to
make this project
a top priority.

I will, sir.
Top priority.

Top priority, George.
Top priority!

So he walks
out of the stall.

So he walks
out of the stall.

He's been talkin'
the whole time.

He pulled
an LBJ on you.

LBJ?

Lyndon Johnson
used to do that
to his staffers.

No kidding?
Oh, yeah.

He'd hold national security
meetings in there.

He planned
the Hanoi bombing
after a bad Thai meal.

Well, I still don't know
what I'm supposed to do.

I don't even know
what my assignment is.

Ask him to repeat it.
Tell him there was
an echo in there.

I can't.
He's been on my case
about not paying attention.

Besides, it's too late.
I already told him
I heard him.

You know what you do?

Ask him
a follow-up question.

Tell him you're
having trouble
getting started,

Tell him you're
having trouble
getting started,

and you want
his advice.

Yeah.

Follow-up question,
that'll work.

Hey, bud.
Hey.

Can I have my keys--
Yeah.

--back please.

You should
have come, Jerry.

We made quite a haul.

Where'd you go?
Price Club.

Why didn't you
take your car?

Ah, the steering wheel
fell off.

I don't know where it is.

What are you doing?
Don't throw that away.

Well, I'm not paying
the 5 cents for that
stupid recycling thing.

You don't pay 5 cents.
You get 5 cents back.

Here, read the label:
"Vermont, Connecticut,

Here, read the label:
"Vermont, Connecticut,

"Massachusetts, New York.
Refund--"

Vroot! "--5 cents."

Refund?
Yeah.

Well, what do you think
the hobos are doing?

I don't know.
They're deranged.

All right, listen.
Can you give me a lift
back to my place?

No, I can't.
I gotta pick up Elaine.

I'm taking her
to this Kennedy auction.

All right.
I'll see you later.
All right.

What is this
"MI, 10 cents"?

That's Michigan.

In Michigan
you get 10 cents.

Ten cents?
Yeah.

Wait a minute. You mean,
you get 5 cents here
and 10 cents there?

Wait a minute. You mean,
you get 5 cents here
and 10 cents there?

Round up bottles here
and run them to Michigan.

No, that doesn't work.

What do you mean?
You get enough bottles--

You overload
your inventory,

and you blow
your margins
on gasoline.

Trust me.
It doesn't work.

You're not talking that
deposit-bottles scam,
are you?

No, no, I'm off that.

You tried it?

Oh, yeah, every which way.
Couldn't crunch the numbers.

It drove me crazy.

You two keep an eye
on each other?

No problem.
You bet.

Are you sure
you didn't hear my car
making a funny noise?

I know those two idiots
did something to it.

No, I didn't
hear anything.

(GASPS)

Oh, my God.
Look who's here.

JERRY:
Sue Ellen Mischke,

the braless,
Oh Henry!
candy-bar heiress.

Well...

Hello, Elaine.
Jerry.

Hi, Sue Ellen.
Hi, Sue Ellen.

Well, I'm surprised
to see you here.

Come to catch a glimpse
of high society?

Come to catch a glimpse
of high society?

(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)

No. No, I'm actually
here to bid, Sue Ellen.

I mean, that is
if anything's
to my liking.

I'm here
to catch a glimpse.

Of high society.

Well, I hope
you find something
that fits your budget.

I hate that woman.

NEWMAN:
I don't understand.

You fill an 18-wheeler.

You fill an 18-wheeler.

No, an 18-wheeler
is no good.
Too much overhead.

You've got permits,
weigh stations, tolls.

Look, you're way
outta your league.

I wanna learn.

I want to know why.

Oh.

Those are handsome.

Look at that set.

Yeah, think I might
bid on those.

(GAVEL STRIKES)
AUCTIONEER: Lot number 745.

We have a full set
of golf clubs

We have a full set
of golf clubs

that were owned
by President
John F. Kennedy,

as seen in
the famous photograph

of the president
chipping at Burning Tree

on the morning of
the Bay of Pigs Invasion.

The set is
in perfection condition,

and we will
start the bidding
at $4000.

Four thousand dollars?
Do I have $4000?

I have $4000.
Do I have 5?

Five thousand dollars.
I have $5000.
Do I have 6?

Six thousand dollars
for this set of
beautiful clubs.

Six? I have $6000.

Can I have 6500?

Can I have 6500?

Sixty-five hundred
to the...

dark-haired person
on the right.

We are at 6500.

Do I hear 6600?

The president's
own golf clubs.

Leisure life at Camelot.

Sixty-five hundred
going once.

Eight thousand.

AUCTIONEER:
Eight thousand.

We have 8000.
The bid is now $8000.

What is she doing?

She's starting in
on the bidding now? I--

Eighty-five hundred.

We have 85.

Nine thousand.

Nine thousand dollars.

Nine thousand dollars.

I think she wants
those clubs.

Do I hear 95?
Ninety-five hundred.

Ninety-five hundred.

Ten thousand.

Ten thousand
to the...

shapely woman
on the left.

Ten thousand going once.

Well,
that's your ceiling.

Ten thousand
going twice.

Eleven thousand.

Twelve thousand.

Thirteen thousand.

Fourteen thousand.

Fifteen thousand!

Peterman
is gonna kill me.

I really thought
you had her there
at 17,000.

Why didn't you stop me?

Do you hear this clunking?

(METAL CLUNKING SOFTLY)

A little.

Oh. You know what?

I'm gonna grab these
from you later.

You'll take care of 'em.
Okay? Okay.

I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay.

Alrighty. Bye.
Bye.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(METAL CLUNKING)

(METAL CLUNKING)

What's goin' on?

Oh, my God.

Oh, those idiots!

NEWMAN:
So we could put
the bottles in a U-Haul.

You know,
go lean and mean.

Newman, it's a dead end.
Come on.

Hey, there he is.
Hey.

You put your groceries
under the hood of my car?

Oh, that's right.
We forgot about those.

That's where
my missing soda is.

That's where
my missing soda is.

And your crab legs
and a thing of cheese.

The AAA guy said
I was this close

to sucking a muffin
down the carburetor.

What were you thinking?

We ran out of space.

Now I gotta take
the car down to Tony
and get it checked out.

He's good.
Yeah, he's real good,

but he's so obsessive
about the car,

he makes me feel guilty
about every little thing
wrong with it.

I gotta get it washed
before I bring it,

or I'm afraid
he'll yell at me.

'Choke?

No. Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

I remember this car.

I remember this car.

Beautiful car.

Yeah, so anyway,
the engine's been
idling a little rough.

I thought it might be time
for a...checkup.

There's really
nothing wrong
on the inside.

Well, the shift knob
is loose.
You know about that?

No, I hadn't noticed.

Have you been
picking at it?

Have I been picking at it?

No. You know,
it's just wear and tear.

Wear and tear, I see.

The engine's really the only
thing that needs checking.

You been
rotating the tires?
Try to.

You don't try to,
you do it!

You don't try to,
you do it!

Fifty-one percent of all turns
are right turns, you know?

Try to.

PETERMAN:
Twenty thousand dollars?

Elaine,
that's twice the amount
I authorized you to spend.

I know, Mr. Peterman.

But-- But--
But once I saw them,

I just couldn't stand
to let anyone else
have them.

And certainly not some
stuck-up candy-bar heiress

who shamelessly flaunts
herself in public
without any regard--

Well, where are they?

They should
be here today.

Uh, uh, Mr. Wilhelm.

Yes, George.

Hi, I-I was just, uh...

I just have
one little question about,
uh, my assignment.

Yes. Well,
I trust things are
moving smoothly.

Mr. Steinbrenner's
counting on you.

Yes, yes. Very smooth,
super smooth.

No, but I really
want to attack
this thing.

You know,
sink my teeth into it.

So I-I was
just wondering...

what do you think would
be the very best way
to get started?

what do you think would
be the very best way
to get started?

Get started?
I don't understand,
George.

Well, I was wondering--
You mean you haven't
been to payroll?

Payroll.
No, haven't done that.
What's the problem?

Now, come on, George.

I told the big man
you were moving on this.

Now, don't let him down!

(CHUCKLES)

Payroll!

Hello, there.

I'm, uh...

I'm George Costanza.

I'm George Costanza.

Yes.

Assistant to
the traveling secretary.

I'm, uh...

working on the project.

What project?

Payroll project.

Wilhelm?

Big, uh...
Big payroll project.

You're gonna have
to fill me in. I...

You know what? I'll...
I'll look around
for awhile.

Just browse around.
Hey, wait. Excuse me.

Uh, you can't
come back here.

Uh, you can't
come back here.

I am under direct orders
from Mr. Wilhelm.

If you have a problem
with that,

maybe you should just
take it up with him.

Well, maybe I will.

You know what?
I urge you to
take it up with him.

Go ahead.
Give him a call.

He'll tell you
what I'm doing here.

Then you can tell me.

Mr. Wilhelm, uh,
this is Lafarge
in payroll.

There's a Costanza here.

Says he's working
on some project.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

Interesting.
Well, that's...

Interesting.
Well, that's...

quite a project.

All right. Thank you.

Uh...

I-I'm sorry, uh...
that I doubted you.

Whatever you need,
just make yourself
at home.

So he explained it
all to you?

Yes, he explained it all
very clearly.

What did he tell you?

Look, you were right,
I was wrong!

You don't have
to humiliate me
about it, all right?

(BUTTONS CLICKING,
LEVER CRANKING)

(MUTTERING)

Damn.

NEWMAN:
Oh, Mother's Day.

Wait. Wait a second.

Mother's Day? Ah--

Yeah.

Yeah.

(MUTTERS)

Yesss!

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

(BURPS)

(CHUCKLING)

Come on, Kramer!

What?
It's the truck, Kramer.
The truck!

What?
It's the truck, Kramer.
The truck!

Look, Newman, I told you
to let this thing go!

No, no, no, listen to me.

Most days the post office
sends one truckload of mail

to the second domestic
regional sorting facility

in Saginaw, Michigan.
Uh-huh.

But on the week
before holidays,
we a see surge.

On Valentine's Day,
we send two trucks.

On Christmas,
four packed to the brim.

And tomorrow,
if history is any guide,

we'll see some spillover
into a fifth truck.

Mother's Day.

The mother of
all mail days.

And guess who's signed up
for the truck?

And guess who's signed up
for the truck?

A free truck?
(LAUGHS)

Oh, boy. That completely
changes our cost structure.

Our G and A
goes down 50 percent.

We carry a couple
of bags of mail,
and the rest is ours!

Newman,
you magnificent bastard,
you did it!

Let the collecting begin!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(♪)

(COINS CLINKING)

(LAUGHS)

So.

So.

Did you go down
to payroll?

Yes, payroll.
Yes, I did.

Very productive.
Payroll paid off.

Then I guess you'll
be heading downtown,
then, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Downtown.

Definitely.

Well, I'm very interested
to see how this thing
turns out.

Yeah, you said it.
Excuse me, Mr. Wilhelm,

uh, do you
really think--?

Well...
I-Is--?

Is this downtown trip
really necessary,

you know,
for the project?

Oh, no, you've got
to go downtown, George.

Oh, no, you've got
to go downtown, George.

It's all downtown.

Just like the song says.

The song?

There's your answer,

"Downtown."

Downtown?
♪ Downtown ♪

♪ Things'll be great
When you're ♪

JERRY:
The song "Downtown"?

You mean,
the Petula Clark song?

Yeah.

You sure
he didn't mention it

because you happened
to be going downtown?

I think he was trying
to tell me something,

like it had some
sort of a meaning.

Okay.
So how does it go?

"When you're alone

"When you're alone

"and life is
making you lonely,

you can always go..."

"Downtown."

"Maybe you know
some little places to go

where they never close."

"Downtown."

Wait a second.
Little places to go
that never close.

What's a little place
that never closes?

7-Eleven?

Maybe.

"Just listen
to the music

"of the traffic
in the city.

"of the traffic
in the city.

"Linger on the sidewalk

where the neon lights
are pretty."

Where the neon lights
are pretty.

The Broadway area?

No, that's midtown.

"The lights
are much brighter there.

"You can forget
all your troubles,

"forget all your cares.

Just go."

"Down...town."

"Things will be great
when you're..."

"Downtown."

I got nothing, Jerry.
Nothing.

Well.

"Don't hang around
and let your troubles
surround you.

There are movie shows."

You think I should
come clean?

What do you think?
You think I should
confess?

How can you lose?

♪ Downtown ♪

♪ Downtown ♪

♪ Downtown ♪

♪ Downtown ♪

♪ Downtown... ♪

(TAPE REWINDING)

(TAPE REWINDING)

(OVER ANSWERING MACHINE)
Yeah, Jerry,
it's Tony Abado at the shop.

Look, we gotta talk.
You better come down.

Any time after 4.

(MACHINE BEEPS)

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello.

Hi, it's me.
Oh, hi.

Listen, I need
to come over

and pick up the clubs
for Peterman.

Oh, you know what?

Oh, no. What?

No, it's no big deal.
I left the clubs
in the car.

You left them in the car?

How could you
leave them in the car?

How could you
leave them in the car?

I forgot.

Oh, go down
and get them.

No, I can't.
The car's at
the mechanic's.

Oh, this is great.

All right.
Well, where is
the mechanic?

I'll just go
and pick 'em up myself.

No, no, you can't.

He's working
on the car right now.

You cannot disturb him
while he's working.

I'm going there
in like an hour

if you wanna meet me
down there.

You know the place.
It's on 56th Street.

Ugh. Okay.
All right. Fine.

Hey, Tony.

Thanks for
coming in, Jerry.

Sure.

Sure.

I think I know
what's going on here.

And I just wanna
hear it from you.

But I want you
to be straight with me.

Don't lie to me, Jerry.

You know that motor oil
you're putting in there?

It's from one of those
quickie lube places,
isn't it?

Well, I change it
so often. I mean--

Jerry, motor oil
is the lifeblood
of a car.

Okay? You put in
a low-grade oil,

you can damage
vital engine parts.

Okay, see this gasket?

I have no confidence
in that gasket.

Tony, I really don't--

Here's what I wanna do.

Here's what I wanna do.

I wanna overhaul
the entire engine.

But it's gonna take
a major commitment
from you.

You're gonna have to
keep it under 60 miles
an hour for awhile.

You gotta come in,

and you gotta
get the oil changed
every thousand miles.

How much money
is this gonna cost me?

(SCOFFS)

I don't understand you.

It's your own car
we're talking about.

You know, you wrote
the wrong mileage down
on the form.

You barely
know the car.

You don't
know the mileage,
the tire pressure.

When was the last time
you checked
the washer fluid?

When was the last time
you checked
the washer fluid?

But the washer fluid
is fine.

The washer fluid
is not fine!

All right,
you know what? Um...

I just wanna take my car,
and I'm gonna bring it
someplace else.

What do you mean?

Just can I have my car?

I'm gonna pay my bill,
and I'm gonna be on my way.

Well, the car's
on a lift.

Well, just get it down.

All right.

Okay. Um, wait here,
and I'll...

I'll bring it around.
Okay.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

ELAINE:
Hey.

Where's the car?
Hi.

He's bringing it.
Good.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Okay. Thank you.

So, what did they say?

They're sending a detective
to my apartment tomorrow.

What the hell
were you thinking leaving
my clubs in that car?

Well, I didn't count on
my mechanic

pulling a Mary Beth
Whitehead, did I?

Well, what kind of maniac
is this guy?

He's a very
special maniac.

What am I supposed
to tell Mr. Peterman?

I don't know.

Why couldn't you take
better care of that car?

PETERMAN:
Well, are they here?

Mr. Peterman, uh...

There seems to be
a bit of a snag.

There seems to be
a bit of a snag.

Snag.

It seems that
a psychotic mechanic

has absconded
with my friend's car.

What does that
have to do
with my clubs?

They happened to be
in the back seat
at the time.

MAN: What was
the suspect wearing

at the time
of the incident?

You know,
like mechanic's pants,

a shirt
that said "Tony."

Lemme ask you something.
Have you ever seen
a case like this before?

Lemme ask you something.
Have you ever seen
a case like this before?

All the time.

Mechanic forms
an emotional attachment.

Thinks he's gonna
lose the car.

He panics
and does something rash.

I'm gonna ask you
some personal questions.

I'm sorry
if I touch a nerve,

but I think it'll help
with the case.

Had you been taking
good care of the car?

Had I been taking--?
Did you leave the AC on?

Do you zip over
speed bumps?

Do you ride the clutch?
Things like that?

Well,
what does it matter?
It's my car.

I can do whatever
I want with it.

Not that I would...

Not that I would...

think of doing
such things.

All right,
Mr. Seinfeld,

we'll let you know
if we find anything.

I gotta be honest
with you.

These cases never
end up well.

Well, whatever
you can do. Thanks.

Oh, Mr. Wilhelm,
about the project, sir.

That's what I came to
talk to you about.

Great job, George.
You really nailed it.

I did?

Oh, yes,
I read through it
this morning.

I couldn't have
done it better myself.

I couldn't have
done it better myself.

And I turned it
right over to
Mr. Steinbrenner.

Good work, George.

JERRY:
I don't get it.

He assigns it to you.

You don't do it.

Somehow it gets done,

and now he's telling you
what a great job you did.

Maybe somebody did it
and didn't take credit
for it.

Maybe it was
already done

and didn't need doing
in the first place.

I have no idea
who did it,

what they did,
or how they did it
so well.

And you know what?

Jimmy crack corn,
and I don't care.

Jimmy crack corn,
and I don't care.

The gardener did a nice job
planting the rose bushes,
didn't he, dear?

WOMAN:
You planted
the rose bushes, dear.

I did?

Yesterday.
You remember.

That's right.

Oh, what's for dinner?

We just ate.

Did you forget
to take your medicine?

Oh...

The point is,
however it got done,

it's done.

it's done.

So...any luck
with the car?

Nah, the police
have no leads,

and I just found out today
my insurance doesn't cover it.

Why not?
They don't
consider it stolen

if you willfully
give the guy the keys.

Hey.
Hey.

Hey, what'd
the detective say?

They're looking.

(PHONE RINGS)

I gotta go.

Yello.

MAN: Mr. Seinfeld?
Yeah.

It's Detective McMahon.

I'm at the warehouse
on pier 38.

Uh...I think you'd better
get down here.

Uh...I think you'd better
get down here.

Yeah, okay.
They may have
found the car.

Are the clubs in it?
Ask him.

Are there golf clubs
in the back?

We really can't tell.

You better bring
your service records.

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

Watch where you step.

There's quite a bit
of grease.

Detective,
Jerry Seinfeld is here.

How do you do?
Thanks for coming down.

This is Elaine Benes.

We used to date,
but now we're
just friends.

We used to date,
but now we're
just friends.

I see.

You know.

I'm sorry to make you
go through this,

but we need
to make sure.

What's going on?
What is this thing?

One of our patrolmen
stumbled over this.

(GASPS)
Oh, my God.

The block is nearly
split apart.

We found
the overhead cams
30 feet away.

We can only hope
the body's sold
for scrap.

Oh, my God.

And we know
it's a Saab.

The angle on the V6
is definitely a '92.

The model's hard
to determine

because the drive train
is all burnt out.

because the drive train
is all burnt out.

What is that smell?

Mm.

Look at the clutch.
(BOTH GASP)

(GAGS)
Excuse me.

Whoever did this
didn't just dismantle it.

I mean,
they took their time,
they had fun,

they were
very systematic.

They went out
of their way

to gouge the sides
of every piston.

And the turbo
was separated
from the housing,

and shoved right up
the exhaust pipe.

(GASPS)

Wait a second. Turbo?

I didn't have a turbo.

Your car is
not a turbo?

Your car is
not a turbo?

No, it's a 900 S.

It's a turbo, Elaine.
A turbo!

(LAUGHING)
It's a turbo!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Excuse me.
Did you say "turbo"?

Saab Turbo 9000?

(SNIFFLING)
Is it...midnight blue?

Yes, ma'am.

KRAMER & NEWMAN:
♪ 9999 bottles and cans
In the truck ♪

♪ 9999 bottles and cans ♪

♪ At $0.10 a bottle
And $0.10 a can ♪

♪ At $0.10 a bottle
And $0.10 a can ♪

♪ We're pulling in
$500 a man ♪

♪ 9998 bottles and cans
In the truck ♪

♪ 9998 bottles and cans ♪

♪ We fill up with gas
We count up our cash ♪

♪ 9997 ♪
♪ Nine-- 97 ♪

♪ Bottles and cans
In the truck ♪

Ah.

(PHONE RINGS)

Yello.

Hey, Jerry. It's Tony.

Tony, where are you?

Tony, where are you?

Oh, look,
I just want you to know
that the car is fine.

Got her all fixed up.

We're in a nice area,
no potholes, no traffic.

So there's nothing
to worry about, okay?

In fact, here.

Somebody wants to
talk to you.

(ENGINE HUMMING)

Tony, you better
bring that car back.

Nobody's giving
anything back!

You tried to
take it from me.

I don't forget that.

Tony, it is my car,
and I want it back.

Oh, your car?
You want your car back?

Tony--
Listen.

Tony--
Listen.

That registration may have
your name on it, Jerry,

but this engine's running
on my sweat and my blood.

Where do I find
these guys?

NEWMAN:
How much gas we got?

Three quarters
of a tank.

That's better
than we estimated.

That is seven dollars
and 22 cents better.

Oh, baby.

Maybe we could, uh,
stop for a snack.

No, no, that's not
in the budget.

Well, the budget changed,
you know.

I mean, might be
a good investment.

That's not
a good investment.
That's a loss.

Hey, you see that car?

Hey, you see that car?

Looks like Jerry's.

I'm gonna check out
that license plate.

Yeah, those are
New York plates.

Is that Jerry's number?
I don't know.

But that's New York
and we're in Ohio.

Those are
pretty good odds.

What are you doing?
Calling Jerry.

On what?

I brought my phone.

(PHONE RINGS)

Hello.

Hey, Jerry.
What's your
license number?

JERRY:
What's up?

Yeah, well,
I think I spotted your car.

Yeah, well,
I think I spotted your car.

Oh, my God,
you're kidding.
Hang on a second.

It's JVN...

728.

KRAMER:
Hey, that's it!

That's it, Newman.
Hey, look, we got him.

We're driving
right behind him
in a truck.

Oh, my God. Yeah.
He said he brought it
to the country.

We're in the country,
and we're right
on his tail.

Good work, Kramer.
This is incredible.

Yeah, don't worry, Jerry.

We're right on this guy
like stink on a monkey!

I'll check back with ya.

(PHONE RINGS)

Elaine Benes.

Yeah, it's me.
Kramer found the car.

Yeah, it's me.
Kramer found the car.

(GASPS)
Oh, my God.
Where is it?

Somewhere in the country.
They're following him.

Are the clubs there?

I don't know.
They're tailing.
I'm waiting for a call.

All right.
I'm heading over
right now.

What's the status?

Last check-in,
they were still on him.

Have they called
the police yet?

No, they won't
call the police.
What? Why not?

They're afraid of trouble
from misusing a mail truck.

Kramer doesn't
want a record.

Kramer has a record.

Not a federal record.

(PHONE RINGS)

Kramer?
Kramer?

JERRY: What's going on?
Yeah, nothing.

We're still
following him.

Wait a second.
He's getting off.

Yeah, he's gonna
be going south
on the 135.

Keep following him.

All right.
I'll follow him.

We can't.
We're going north
to Michigan.

Yeah,
hey, listen, I can't.

It's gonna be taking us
out of our way.

I need those clubs.

Kramer, I want my car.

I don't know
what to do!

Hey, we got 10,000
deposit bottles here.

I mean, this guy
could be going
to Arkansas.

Keep following him.
Don't let me down.

We can't afford a detour.
Our budget won't hold it.

We can't afford a detour.
Our budget won't hold it.

Well, I don't know
what to do, man!

Stay left! Stay left!

Left, left, left.
Stay left!

Right! Go right!
Go south!

All right, I'm getting off!
I'm gonna go on the ramp!

I hope you realize
what you've done.

You've destroyed
our whole venture.

This ramp is steep.

All my work, my planning,
my genius, all for naught.

Look, we're pulling
too much weight.

He's getting away
from us.
Take the wheel.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna
get something.

NEWMAN: Are you crazy?
(TIRES SCREECHING)

Keep your foot
on the gas.

Keep your foot
on the gas.

Hey, you're not
dumping those bottles
back there, are you?

Hey, Kramer,
those have wholesale value.

We can cut our losses.

Bottles below!

(CAR HORN HONKING)

!¡Ándale!

Love this magnifying glass.
I feel like a scientist.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Oh, yeah.

You wanted to
see me, sir?

You wanted to
see me, sir?

Uh, come in, George.
Come in.

Uh, Wilhelm
gave me this project
you worked on.

Yes, sir.

Let me ask you something.

Having any
personal problems
at home?

Girl trouble?
Love trouble
of any kind?

No, sir.

What about drugs?
You doing some of
that crack cocaine?

You on the pipe?

No, sir.

Are you seeing
a psychiatrist?

Because I got a flash
for you, young man.

You're non compos mentis.
You got some bats
in the belfry.

What--?
What are you
talking about?

George,
I read this report.
It's very troubling.

Very troubling indeed.
It's a sick mind
at work here.

Very troubling indeed.
It's a sick mind
at work here.

Okay, come on, boys.

Come in here.
George, this is
Herb and Dan.

They're gonna take you
away to a nice place

where you can
get some help.
Very friendly people.

My brother-in-law
was there for a while.

The man was obsessed
with lactating women.

They cured him,
though he still eats
a lot of cheese.

But you see--

You see, I didn't
write that report.
That's not mine.

Of course
you didn't, George.
Of course you didn't.

I didn't do it!
I-- It just got done!

I don't know
how it got done,
but it did!

Of course, of course,
it got done.

Things get done
all the time.
I understand.

Don't worry, your job
will be waiting for you

Don't worry, your job
will be waiting for you

when you get back!

Get better, George!
Get better!

KRAMER: Man,
I don't understand this.

I ditched
every bottle and can,
and we still can't gain.

It's like we're...

...sluggish.

We collected
all those bottles

and all those cans
for what? What a waste.

I'm really gonna catch hell
for those missing mail bags.

Hey, wasn't that
a pie stand back there?

Hey, wasn't that
a pie stand back there?

A pie stand?

Oh, yeah.
Homemade pies,
200 yards back.

Oh, come on, pull over.
Pull over, will you?
Yeah.

Where? I-I don't see it.

Well, open the door.
You'll get a better look.

I don't see any pie.

Haaah!

Kramer!

I'm sorry, Newman,
you were holding us back.

Kramer!

Jerry,
we've lost the fat man,
and we're runnin' lean.

We're back
on track, buddy.

(♪)

Federal employee.

(HORN HONKING)

(GRUNTING)

I hate corn.

(GRUNTING)

(WHIMPERING)

(PANTING)

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hello, stranger.

Look, I-I'm sorry
to bother you,

but I'm a U.S.
postal worker,

and my mail truck
was just ambushed

by a band of backwoods,
mail-hating survivalists.

You just calm down now.
Calm down.

Don't worry.
We'll take care of you.

This farm ain't much,
but, uh, you're welcome
to what we have.

Hot bath,
hearty meal,
Ha-ho.

clean bed.

Oh, thank you, sir.

I just have one rule:

I just have one rule:

Keep your hands
off my daughter.

KRAMER:
Jerry, we got him.

I'm riding his tail.

There's no escape.
He's running scared,
buddy.

How's the gas situation?

I got enough to
get to Memphis.

He's reaching in back.

Keeps grabbin'
at something.

He's pullin' out a gun.
He's got a gun, Jerry!

JERRY:
Duck, Kramer, duck!

Jeez!

Jeez!

It's a golf club.
There's no gun.

He-- He threw a golf club
at me!

Those are
JFK's golf clubs.

Hey, I'm under fire.

I'm under
heavy fire here.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Jeez, there goes
a five-iron.

Stop the truck, Kramer.
Pick up the clubs.

No, don't stop, Kramer.
Keep going.

Don't let him get away.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
I think he's done.

Oh, no, he's taking out
the woods!

Oh! More.

You'll have to do
a lot better than that!

Oh!

(TIRE POPS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)

JERRY:
What's happening?

This truck is dying.

We're losin' him.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

(HISSING)

KRAMER:
I think we lost him.

Damn it.

Can you stop
and pick up
those clubs, Kramer?

Yeah, yeah,
I'll get 'em.

Jeez.

(SIGHS)

Enjoying
that mutton?

Oh.

It's delicious mutton.

This is, uh...

This is out of sight.

I would--

I would--

I would love
to get the recipe.

It's very good.

(COUGHS)

That cider
too strong for you?

No. No,

I love strong cider.

I'm a...

I'm a big strong-cider guy.

Gonna be
milkin' the Holsteins
in the morning,

if you'd like to
lend a hand.

if you'd like to
lend a hand.

You know, I don't really
know that much about, uh--

I don't have any--

I-I don't think
I know much about that.

Ah, Susie will
just teach you.

Just gotta pull on
the teets a little.

It's nice having a big...

strong man around.

You know, those mail bags,
they get mighty heavy.

I, uh...

I Nautilus, of course.

Can I have some gravy?
Just...

Steinbrenner had
me committed!
I'm in the nuthouse.

I'll be back same time
next week, Pop.

They-- They took
my belt, Jerry.

(WHIMPERS)
I got nothing
to hold my pants up.

Well, you gotta
come over here now!

Just tell him
what we talked about,

how I-I didn't do
the project, heh-heh.

George?

I see you're finally
getting some help.

(CHUCKLING)

Oh, Deena, thank God.
Thank God, you're here.

Oh, Deena, thank God.
Thank God, you're here.

Listen,
you gotta help me.

You-- You gotta tell
these people that I'm okay.

You know that I don't
belong in here.

George...

this is
the best thing for you.

Yeah.

What? No, no, Deena.
Deena, wait!
Deena, help!

It's not what
it looks like.

Is that
little Georgie C?

How's the folks?

You still got
that nice little car?

(GUNSHOT)

(SUSIE SCREAMING)

Aagh! Aagh!

What are you doing?

Kramer, help me,
help me!

Jeez!

I told you to keep away
from my daughter!

NEWMAN:
Aagh-ha-ha!

(GUNSHOT)
Yeow!

Don't, Daddy,
you'll hurt him.

Don't, Daddy,
you'll hurt him.

I love him.

Goodbye, Norman!

Goodbye!

Elaine, you found the clubs.
That's wonderful news.

Where are they?

Yep.

Let me get 'em for you,
Mr. Peterman.

Oh, I'll be
inaugurating them
this weekend,

with none other
than Ethel Kennedy.

A woman whose triumph
in the face of tragedy

is exceeded only
by her proclivity
to procreate.

The, uh...

The letter of...
authenticity is

in the side pocket there.

Elaine.

I never knew Kennedy
had such a temper.

Oh-- Oh, yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

The only thing worse
was his slice.

(CHUCKLES)

See you on Monday.

See you on Monday.

Have a good game.

(♪)