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1
00:00:01,433 --> 00:00:04,466
I've never been anyplace
where there was no coffee.
2
00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,566
People are constantly trying
to give you coffee.
3
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:08,933
"Would you like coffee?"
"Can I get you some coffee?"
4
00:00:10,266 --> 00:00:12,066
Coffee is one of the only things
you can have
5
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,366
that people continue
to try and give it to you.
6
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,900
Waitresses are always
coming over,
7
00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,500
"Can I fill it up?"
"Can I warm it up?"
8
00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:18,500
"Can I top it off?"
9
00:00:18,533 --> 00:00:19,966
You can lift up a manhole cover,
10
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,233
"We just made a fresh pot.
Would you like some?"
11
00:00:22,266 --> 00:00:25,333
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS & APPLAUDS]
12
00:00:25,366 --> 00:00:26,900
This liquid
has taken over humanity.
13
00:00:26,933 --> 00:00:29,300
There are coffee machines
we have to call "mister."
14
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:30,000
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
15
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,666
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
16
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,466
"Coffee anyone?"
17
00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:36,900
"Hey, that's Mr. Coffee to you."
18
00:00:39,766 --> 00:00:41,733
[♪]
19
00:00:43,233 --> 00:00:45,633
And then I hear
this rabbi on television.
20
00:00:45,666 --> 00:00:46,700
Imagine.
21
00:00:46,733 --> 00:00:48,500
I'm really sorry, George.
22
00:00:48,533 --> 00:00:50,666
I-I-- I wasn't jealous of you.
23
00:00:50,700 --> 00:00:53,366
It was just the whole...
marriage thing.
24
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,366
You know,
I was just a little surprised.
25
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,100
Why would anyone
eat canned fruit?
26
00:00:58,733 --> 00:01:00,866
I mean,
can anybody answer that?
27
00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:02,733
What about
all the "loser" stuff?
28
00:01:02,766 --> 00:01:04,366
I don't know where
the rabbi got that.
29
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,833
You know,
I never said that.
30
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,533
I said,
"I've never seen you looser."
31
00:01:09,733 --> 00:01:11,166
JERRY:
I could see the can
32
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,033
if you're in the army.
33
00:01:13,066 --> 00:01:14,833
But fresh fruit,
it's available.
34
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:15,833
It's there.
35
00:01:15,866 --> 00:01:18,000
It's two aisles over.
36
00:01:19,533 --> 00:01:22,166
Well, scintillating as always.
37
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,500
Where you going?
38
00:01:23,533 --> 00:01:25,000
I'm going shopping with Susan.
39
00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:26,166
What kind of shopping?
40
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,333
Clothes shopping.
Where you going?
41
00:01:28,366 --> 00:01:30,333
Ross'.
That's a nice store.
42
00:01:30,366 --> 00:01:31,333
It's her uncle's.
43
00:01:31,366 --> 00:01:32,566
Ah. Discount?
44
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:33,866
One would hope.
45
00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:37,333
[♪]
46
00:01:37,366 --> 00:01:38,333
KRAMER:
So, you know,
47
00:01:38,366 --> 00:01:38,664
my friend and I were
going to the movies,
48
00:01:38,664 --> 00:01:40,000
my friend and I were
going to the movies,
49
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:42,500
and we stopped off
and bought this café latte.
50
00:01:42,533 --> 00:01:44,666
What is that? Italian coffee?
That's right.
51
00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:47,033
Half milk, half coffee?
Yeah.
52
00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:48,633
Mm-hm. You take a sip?
53
00:01:48,666 --> 00:01:50,300
Yes, I did.
54
00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:52,300
When you took the sip,
did you notice it was hot?
55
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:54,166
Were you able to sip
in your normal fashion?
56
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:57,300
No, I wasn't able to sip it
in my normal fashion.
57
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,566
Mm-hm. All right, all right.
58
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:01,200
You take big sips?
59
00:02:01,233 --> 00:02:03,700
Well,
I think I take a normal sip.
60
00:02:03,733 --> 00:02:06,500
Okay. You take normal sips.
Nothing wrong with that.
61
00:02:06,533 --> 00:02:07,733
Then what happened?
62
00:02:07,766 --> 00:02:08,664
Well, you know, uh...
63
00:02:08,664 --> 00:02:09,633
Well, you know, uh...
64
00:02:09,666 --> 00:02:12,366
They don't allow outside drinks
in the movie theater,
65
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,166
so I had to put it in my shirt
and sneak it in.
66
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,666
Yeah, see they like to sell
their own coffee.
Yeah.
67
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,300
Now, is that gonna be a problem?
68
00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:21,833
Yeah, it's gonna be a problem.
It'll be a problem for them.
69
00:02:21,866 --> 00:02:24,300
This is a clear violation
of your rights as a consumer.
70
00:02:24,333 --> 00:02:26,566
It's an infringement
on your constitutional rights.
71
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,700
It's outrageous,
egregious, preposterous.
72
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:32,033
It's definitely preposterous.
73
00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:33,866
So...then what happened?
74
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:36,500
Well...
I was trying to get to my seat
75
00:02:36,533 --> 00:02:38,664
and I had to
step over someone,
76
00:02:38,664 --> 00:02:38,900
and I had to
step over someone,
77
00:02:38,933 --> 00:02:41,133
and I kinda got pushed,
and it spilt on me.
78
00:02:41,166 --> 00:02:42,200
Was there a top on it?
79
00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:43,466
Yeah.
80
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:46,200
Did you put the top on,
or did they put the top on?
81
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,500
No. They put the top on.
82
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:48,500
And they made the top.
83
00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:49,933
You didn't make the top,
did you?
84
00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:54,400
Suzy...
85
00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:56,333
want you to go down
to Java World.
86
00:02:56,366 --> 00:02:59,066
Get me a café latte with a top.
87
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,033
We gonna run some tests
on that top.
88
00:03:01,866 --> 00:03:02,900
Whoa.
89
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:04,066
Have you been to the doctor?
90
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,233
Uh, no. No, I haven't.
91
00:03:05,266 --> 00:03:07,800
Suzy, call Dr. Bison.
92
00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:08,664
Set up an appointment
for Mr. Kramer here.
93
00:03:08,664 --> 00:03:09,633
Set up an appointment
for Mr. Kramer here.
94
00:03:09,666 --> 00:03:10,733
Tell him it's for me.
95
00:03:10,766 --> 00:03:13,000
So, uh, what do you think,
Mr. Chiles?
96
00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:14,000
Jackie.
97
00:03:14,033 --> 00:03:16,666
Jackie. I mean, we got a chance?
98
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,233
Do we have a chance?
99
00:03:18,266 --> 00:03:20,366
You get me one coffee drinker
on that jury,
100
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,000
you gonna walk out of there
a rich man.
101
00:03:22,033 --> 00:03:23,166
[SMACKS LIPS]
102
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,733
[♪]
103
00:03:25,933 --> 00:03:27,400
GEORGE:
I don't like it. It's red.
104
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:28,500
It's too flashy.
105
00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:30,666
You could use a little flash.
106
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:32,200
All right, don't change me.
107
00:03:32,233 --> 00:03:33,666
Susan, don't change me.
108
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:34,700
[CHUCKLES]
109
00:03:34,733 --> 00:03:36,000
You know, there's a lot of women
110
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:38,166
that would love to be
in your position right now.
111
00:03:39,033 --> 00:03:40,666
Name one.
112
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:42,500
So...did you
find anything?
113
00:03:42,533 --> 00:03:46,066
Oh, he is impossible
to shop for, Uncle Ned.
114
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:49,033
I'm going on vacation
to Costa Rica.
115
00:03:49,066 --> 00:03:50,700
Maybe I'll see you in a
couple of weeks.
116
00:03:50,733 --> 00:03:52,333
Okay.
Excuse me,
Mr. Ross.
117
00:03:55,533 --> 00:03:57,166
See, now,
this I don't get.
118
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,166
What?
119
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,866
The security guard.
120
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:01,166
What about him?
121
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,533
Why does he
have to stand?
122
00:04:04,233 --> 00:04:06,333
Because he's
a security guard.
123
00:04:06,366 --> 00:04:07,666
I mean, look at him.
124
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,664
He's gotta be on his feet
like that all day?
125
00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:09,466
He's gotta be on his feet
like that all day?
126
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,833
I mean, that's brutal.
127
00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:12,633
I think I'll say something
to your uncle.
128
00:04:12,666 --> 00:04:14,166
George, you just met him.
129
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,133
Don't say anything to him.
130
00:04:16,166 --> 00:04:18,700
Aren't you concerned
about the security guard?
131
00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:20,366
Not really.
132
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,566
GREORGE:
She's not concernedabout the security guard.
133
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,966
What kind of a person is this?
134
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,700
I'm marrying a personwho doesn't care
135
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:29,800
that this man has to standthere eight hours a day
136
00:04:29,833 --> 00:04:32,000
when he could easilybe sitting.
137
00:04:32,033 --> 00:04:34,800
All right, George.
What do you think?
138
00:04:34,833 --> 00:04:36,200
[♪]
139
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:38,664
What'd you do
last night?
140
00:04:38,664 --> 00:04:38,900
What'd you do
last night?
141
00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:40,633
Nothin'.
142
00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:42,633
I know, nothing,
but what did you actually do?
143
00:04:42,666 --> 00:04:44,366
Literally nothing.
144
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,300
I sat in a chair, and I stared.
145
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:48,800
Wow, that really is nothing.
146
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,400
I told you.
147
00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:51,400
Hey.
148
00:04:51,433 --> 00:04:52,400
Hey.
Hey.
149
00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:53,700
Why are you
all dressed up for?
150
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:55,900
Oh, I, uh, just came
from a meeting with my lawyer.
151
00:04:55,933 --> 00:04:57,333
Oh, yeah?
How's that lookin'?
152
00:04:57,366 --> 00:04:58,633
I'll tell ya how it's looking.
153
00:04:58,666 --> 00:04:59,866
My lawyer Jackie says
154
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,033
if there's one coffee drinker
on that jury,
155
00:05:02,066 --> 00:05:04,133
I'm gonna be a rich man.
156
00:05:04,166 --> 00:05:07,133
Oh, that's despicable.
157
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:08,664
How does he know how
all coffee drinkers will vote?
158
00:05:08,664 --> 00:05:09,666
How does he know how
all coffee drinkers will vote?
159
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,633
I'm a coffee drinker.
If I was on that jury,
160
00:05:11,666 --> 00:05:13,200
I wouldn't give you a nickel,
Kramer.
161
00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:15,033
Well, you wouldn't
be on that jury.
162
00:05:15,066 --> 00:05:17,500
He would have
weeded you out.
163
00:05:19,066 --> 00:05:21,166
Frankly, I'm surprised
you're so litigious.
164
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,666
Oh, I can be
quite litigious.
165
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,233
I mean,
who ever heard of this anyway?
166
00:05:25,266 --> 00:05:28,500
Suing a company
because their coffee is too hot?
167
00:05:28,533 --> 00:05:30,366
Coffee is supposed to be hot.
168
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,900
Yeah, but Jackie says
the top was faulty.
169
00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:36,066
[SCOFFS]
Jackie says the top was faulty.
170
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,600
[KNOCKING]
171
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:40,566
Hey, Maestro!
Ah, Kramer!
172
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,366
Hey, I'm in here.
How's it going?
173
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:43,366
Hi, Bob.
174
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,400
[COUGHS]
175
00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:45,400
Oh.
176
00:05:45,433 --> 00:05:46,700
I'm sorry.
177
00:05:46,733 --> 00:05:48,700
"Maestro."
178
00:05:48,733 --> 00:05:50,900
Ooh, boy, this is
a surprise, huh? Look at you.
179
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:53,366
I just wanted to drop off
this Chinese balm
180
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:54,700
for your burns.
181
00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:56,233
It's supposed
to be great stuff.
182
00:05:56,266 --> 00:05:57,666
It's all herbal.
183
00:05:57,700 --> 00:06:00,566
Oh, Maestro, you--
What are you doing?
184
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:01,866
You don't have to do this.
185
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,033
Do you believe this Maestro?
186
00:06:03,066 --> 00:06:04,400
It's nothing.
187
00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:06,566
You haven't been around
for a while.
Oh, yeah.
188
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,664
I've been at my house
in Tuscany.
189
00:06:08,664 --> 00:06:08,866
I've been at my house
in Tuscany.
190
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:10,700
Oh, Tuscany.
You hear that, Jerry?
191
00:06:10,733 --> 00:06:11,700
That's in Italy.
192
00:06:11,733 --> 00:06:13,366
I hear it's beautiful there.
193
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,533
Well, if you're thinking
of getting a place there,
194
00:06:15,566 --> 00:06:16,833
don't bother.
195
00:06:16,866 --> 00:06:18,333
There's really nothing
available.
196
00:06:18,366 --> 00:06:19,366
Hm?
197
00:06:20,366 --> 00:06:21,466
Oh.
Hello.
198
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,200
Well, hello.
199
00:06:23,233 --> 00:06:24,200
And who might you be?
200
00:06:24,233 --> 00:06:26,466
I might be Elaine.
201
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:27,700
This is Bob Cobb.
202
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:28,700
Maestro.
203
00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:30,033
ELAINE:
Ooh.
204
00:06:30,066 --> 00:06:31,200
Maestro.
205
00:06:31,233 --> 00:06:33,800
It is my very great pleasure.
Oh.
206
00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:35,133
[FRENCH ACCENT]
Enchanté.
207
00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:36,233
[LAUGHS]
208
00:06:37,566 --> 00:06:38,664
BOTH:
Well, I have to get going.
209
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:39,466
BOTH:
Well, I have to get going.
210
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,866
Jinx. Buy me a Coke.
Ooh.
211
00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:43,366
I love it when that happens.
212
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,666
I know. I know.
That is so, um...
213
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:47,533
Coincidental.
Yeah, yeah.
214
00:06:47,566 --> 00:06:48,833
Okay, uh, bye, you guys.
215
00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:50,400
Yeah, yeah.
Ciao.
216
00:06:50,433 --> 00:06:51,400
Oh, hey, and, uh,
217
00:06:51,433 --> 00:06:53,466
thanks for the balm.
218
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,000
Yeah.
219
00:07:00,366 --> 00:07:02,233
You know you hurt
the Maestro's feelings.
220
00:07:02,266 --> 00:07:04,300
Oh, why, because I didn't
call him "Maestro"?
221
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,833
That's right.
222
00:07:05,866 --> 00:07:08,366
You know, I feel a little funny
callin' somebody "Maestro."
223
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:08,664
Why?
224
00:07:08,664 --> 00:07:09,533
Why?
225
00:07:09,566 --> 00:07:11,333
Because it's a stupid thing
to be called.
226
00:07:11,366 --> 00:07:12,700
Jerry, he's a conductor.
227
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,200
Oh, "conductor."
He conducts
228
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:17,533
the Policemen's Benevolent
Association Orchestra.
229
00:07:17,566 --> 00:07:19,333
Well, he's still
a conductor.
230
00:07:19,366 --> 00:07:21,366
Well, he sure worked pretty fast
with Elaine.
231
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,966
Oh, you should see him do
"Flight of the Bumblebee."
232
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,033
He just...
233
00:07:25,066 --> 00:07:26,000
T-t-t-t-t-toom!
234
00:07:26,033 --> 00:07:28,133
[♪]
235
00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:29,500
New shirt?
236
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:30,500
Yeah, you like it?
237
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,333
Not particularly.
238
00:07:32,366 --> 00:07:34,133
Why, the color?
Yeah.
239
00:07:34,166 --> 00:07:35,466
Too flashy?
240
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:36,833
Yeah, it's burning my retina.
241
00:07:39,666 --> 00:07:41,666
Susan picked that out for you,
right?
242
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:44,166
No.
243
00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,466
All right,
what's it gonna be here?
244
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,333
Let me ask you something.
245
00:07:49,366 --> 00:07:51,366
When you go into a store,
does it bother you
246
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,400
that they make the security
guard just stand there all day?
247
00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:55,866
No.
248
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,566
Hey, didn't bother Susan either.
249
00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,166
That's why I'm different.
250
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,333
I can sense
the slightest human suffering.
251
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,166
Are you sensing
anything right now?
252
00:08:11,666 --> 00:08:13,066
Let me just say this.
253
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:16,466
It is inhumane to make a man
stand on his feet in one spot
254
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:17,866
for eight hours a day.
255
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:19,566
Why shouldn't he have a chair?
256
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,500
Well, what about
criminal activity?
257
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:22,700
He's gotta be alert.
258
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:24,333
What, he can't
jump out of the chair?
259
00:08:24,366 --> 00:08:25,400
How long does that take?
260
00:08:25,433 --> 00:08:26,866
Here, look at this.
Here, watch.
261
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,533
Criminals! Boom! I'm up.
262
00:08:28,566 --> 00:08:30,600
Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
263
00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:34,533
Maybe they offered him a chair,
and he turned it down.
264
00:08:34,566 --> 00:08:35,700
Would you get outta here?
265
00:08:35,733 --> 00:08:37,233
Who's gonna turn down
a chair?
266
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,664
I would be very interested to
know how he felt about all this.
267
00:08:38,664 --> 00:08:40,200
I would be very interested to
know how he felt about all this.
268
00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:41,533
Maybe I'll have a talk with him.
269
00:08:41,566 --> 00:08:42,800
I know you will.
270
00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:45,066
Hey, hey, hey.
Listen to this.
271
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,066
Jackie just called.
272
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,533
Who?
His lawyer.
273
00:08:47,566 --> 00:08:49,500
Java World wants to settle.
What?
274
00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:50,533
Yeah. I'm gonna be rich!
275
00:08:50,566 --> 00:08:52,300
Why are they settling?
276
00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:54,400
'Cause they're afraid
of bad publicity.
277
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,533
All this because you spilled
coffee on yourself?
278
00:08:56,566 --> 00:08:57,900
Yeah! That's right!
279
00:08:59,733 --> 00:09:01,533
I'm gonna need a coffee here!
280
00:09:01,566 --> 00:09:03,733
Very hot! Boiling!
281
00:09:04,566 --> 00:09:05,833
MAESTRO:
And then, about...
282
00:09:05,866 --> 00:09:07,500
four years ago,
283
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:08,664
I was on holiday in Tuscany,
Uh-huh.
284
00:09:08,664 --> 00:09:09,200
I was on holiday in Tuscany,
Uh-huh.
285
00:09:09,233 --> 00:09:12,666
and I fell in love
with this house.
Oh.
286
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,733
Are you ready to order?
Mm.
287
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:17,000
Oh, gosh.
What are you gettin', Bob?
288
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:21,133
Good question.
289
00:09:21,166 --> 00:09:23,300
We'll need
a few minutes.
290
00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:24,333
Thanks.
291
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:26,966
[SIGHS]
292
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,733
You know, I'm sorry, but...
293
00:09:29,766 --> 00:09:32,333
I didn't mention it earlier,
but, actually,
294
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:35,533
I prefer to be
called "Maestro."
295
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:38,200
Excuse me?
296
00:09:38,233 --> 00:09:38,664
Well, you know,
I am a conductor.
297
00:09:38,664 --> 00:09:40,900
Well, you know,
I am a conductor.
298
00:09:40,933 --> 00:09:42,833
Yeah. So?
299
00:09:42,866 --> 00:09:44,966
Oh, I suppose it's okay
300
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,066
for Leonard Bernstein
to be called "Maestro"
301
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:49,566
because he conducted
the New York Philharmonic.
302
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,900
So he gets to be called
"Maestro," and I don't.
303
00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:56,633
Well, I mean, don't you think
304
00:09:56,666 --> 00:09:58,400
that he was probably called
"Maestro"
305
00:09:58,433 --> 00:09:59,833
while he was conducting?
306
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,366
Not in social situations.
307
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,666
I mean, his friends probably
just called him "Lenny."
308
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:06,166
I happen to know for a fact
309
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,533
that he was called "Maestro"
in social situations.
310
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:08,664
I once saw him in a bar,
311
00:10:08,664 --> 00:10:09,566
I once saw him in a bar,
312
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,166
and somebody came up
to him and said,
313
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,700
"Hello, Maestro.
How about a beer?"
314
00:10:12,733 --> 00:10:14,866
Okay? So that's a fact.
315
00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:17,333
"Maestro," huh?
316
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:19,966
Okay.
317
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,366
[LAUGHS]
318
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,633
Maestro.
319
00:10:22,666 --> 00:10:24,200
[♪]
320
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,533
[FOOTSTEPS]
321
00:10:27,866 --> 00:10:28,900
[BANGING]
322
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:30,033
[RATTLING]
323
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:33,966
Jerry!
324
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:34,966
Jerry!
325
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,433
[CRASHING]
326
00:10:37,666 --> 00:10:38,664
Jerry! Jerry, my burn,
it's gone. Look.
327
00:10:38,664 --> 00:10:40,633
Jerry! Jerry, my burn,
it's gone. Look.
328
00:10:40,666 --> 00:10:41,966
What do you mean?
329
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,300
Well, I put that Chinese balm
on it the maestro gave me,
330
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:45,300
and look, it healed it.
331
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:46,500
So?
So...
332
00:10:46,533 --> 00:10:48,633
my lawsuit,
I'm finished.
333
00:10:48,666 --> 00:10:50,000
I thought
they wanted to settle.
334
00:10:50,033 --> 00:10:52,000
Well, what happens
if they wanna see it?
335
00:10:52,033 --> 00:10:53,800
Then you're
in a lot of trouble.
336
00:10:53,833 --> 00:10:55,133
Yeah!
337
00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:56,366
[♪]
338
00:11:11,533 --> 00:11:12,666
[CHUCKLES]
339
00:11:14,533 --> 00:11:15,533
Tired?
340
00:11:16,833 --> 00:11:17,866
No.
341
00:11:19,266 --> 00:11:21,366
How come, uh...
no chair?
342
00:11:22,566 --> 00:11:23,900
What?
343
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,233
I couldn't help
but notice
344
00:11:25,266 --> 00:11:27,166
that you don't
have a chair.
345
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,666
I don't need a chair.
346
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:30,133
I didn't mean
to imply you did.
347
00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:33,100
You're obviously a very
well-proportioned individual.
348
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,500
What I was just
wondering is, uh...
349
00:11:37,533 --> 00:11:38,664
have they ever offered
you a chair?
350
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:39,533
have they ever offered
you a chair?
351
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:41,200
No.
352
00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:42,533
Would you like
a chair?
353
00:11:42,566 --> 00:11:44,833
I suppose if they gave me one,
I'd sit down.
354
00:11:44,866 --> 00:11:47,033
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
You would, wouldn't you?
355
00:11:47,066 --> 00:11:48,633
Obviously I'd rather
sit than stand
356
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:49,866
if that's what you're asking.
357
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,200
That's exactly my point.
358
00:11:51,233 --> 00:11:52,200
Well, who wouldn't?
359
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:54,866
Because I tell you,
frankly,
360
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,366
I'd like to walk
in here one day
361
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,800
and find you
sitting down.
362
00:11:58,833 --> 00:12:01,166
That would give me
a lot of pleasure.
363
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,366
Ha!
Call me crazy.
364
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,566
[♪]
365
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,733
You put the balm on?
366
00:12:06,766 --> 00:12:08,033
Who told you
to put the balm on?
367
00:12:08,066 --> 00:12:08,664
I didn't tell you
to put the balm on.
368
00:12:08,664 --> 00:12:09,533
I didn't tell you
to put the balm on.
369
00:12:09,566 --> 00:12:10,633
Why'd you put the balm on?
370
00:12:10,666 --> 00:12:12,333
You haven't even
seen the doctor.
371
00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:14,566
If you gonna put a balm on,
let a doctor put a balm on.
372
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,866
I guess I screwed up,
huh, Jackie?
373
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:18,366
You damn right
you screwed up.
374
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,400
Where the hell did you get
that damn balm anyway?
375
00:12:20,433 --> 00:12:22,333
The Maestro.
The who?
376
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:23,900
What you talkin' about,
"Maestro"?
377
00:12:23,933 --> 00:12:25,133
My friend, he's a conductor.
378
00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:27,000
Oh, oh, oh.
So a maestro tells you
379
00:12:27,033 --> 00:12:28,500
to put a balm on,
and you do it?
380
00:12:28,533 --> 00:12:30,366
Well, my stomach was burning.
381
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,700
I tell you what this is.
382
00:12:31,733 --> 00:12:33,000
This is a public humiliation.
383
00:12:33,033 --> 00:12:34,733
I didn't know the balm
was gonna work.
384
00:12:34,766 --> 00:12:36,533
Do you know what a balm is?
385
00:12:36,566 --> 00:12:37,566
You ever seen a balm?
386
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:38,664
Didn't you read
the instructions?
387
00:12:38,664 --> 00:12:39,733
Didn't you read
the instructions?
388
00:12:39,766 --> 00:12:41,733
I was--
No one can tell
what a balm's gonna do.
389
00:12:41,766 --> 00:12:43,366
They're unpredictable.
390
00:12:44,433 --> 00:12:45,733
All right,
I'm sorry, Jackie.
391
00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,466
Pull over here, driver.
This is it.
392
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:49,666
Yeah. Get over.
393
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:51,666
[♪]
394
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:52,666
You have a good time?
395
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,000
Yeah,
he's very interesting.
396
00:12:54,033 --> 00:12:55,466
Did you know
that Mozart died
397
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,000
while he was writing
the "Requiem"?
398
00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:58,733
Yeah. Everyone knows that.
399
00:12:58,766 --> 00:12:59,966
It was in Amadeus.
400
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,666
Really?
401
00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:03,200
So, what about
the "Maestro" stuff.
402
00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:04,666
Did he make you
call him "Maestro"?
403
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,733
Yeah, I called him "Maestro."
You didn't mind?
404
00:13:06,766 --> 00:13:08,664
Well, I did at first,
405
00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:08,800
Well, I did at first,
406
00:13:08,833 --> 00:13:10,566
but, actually,
I kinda got used to it.
407
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,133
Okay, from now on, I want you
to call me "Jerry the Great."
408
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:14,833
I am not calling you
"Jerry the Great."
409
00:13:14,866 --> 00:13:16,700
Why not?
You call him "Maestro."
410
00:13:16,733 --> 00:13:17,733
He is a maestro.
411
00:13:17,766 --> 00:13:18,800
Well, I'm great.
412
00:13:18,833 --> 00:13:20,366
So you say.
413
00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:23,300
What about his house
in Tuscany?
414
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,966
Did he mention that?
Yeah.
415
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,200
I'm invited.
Hm.
416
00:13:26,233 --> 00:13:28,300
You know, when I told him
it was beautiful there,
417
00:13:28,333 --> 00:13:29,633
out of the clear blue sky,
418
00:13:29,666 --> 00:13:31,800
he says
there's nothing to rent,
419
00:13:31,833 --> 00:13:33,733
as if he doesn't want
anyone else there.
420
00:13:33,766 --> 00:13:35,200
Why?
I don't know.
421
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:37,133
Maybe he's embarrassed
by Americans.
422
00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:38,664
Yeah, well, maybe there aren't
any houses to rent there.
423
00:13:38,664 --> 00:13:39,500
Yeah, well, maybe there aren't
any houses to rent there.
424
00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:40,966
In all of Tuscany?
425
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,133
I wonder.
426
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:44,166
[♪]
427
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,533
I say we offer him $50,000.
That's it, take it or leave it.
428
00:13:47,566 --> 00:13:50,033
How do we know
how severe the burns are?
429
00:13:50,066 --> 00:13:51,833
Why don't we have him
examined by a doctor?
430
00:13:51,866 --> 00:13:54,700
Listen, the faster we dispose
of this, the better.
431
00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:56,700
This thing gets into the paper,
it'll kill us.
432
00:13:56,733 --> 00:13:58,400
All right.
We'll start with 50,000
433
00:13:58,433 --> 00:14:00,166
and free coffee
at all of our stores.
434
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,733
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
435
00:14:01,766 --> 00:14:03,333
Yes?
436
00:14:03,366 --> 00:14:06,066
WOMAN:
Mr. Chiles and Mr. Kramerare here.
437
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:07,700
Send them in.
438
00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:11,533
[CLEARS THROAT]
439
00:14:11,566 --> 00:14:12,766
Gentlemen.
440
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,333
Gentlemen, come in.
441
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,500
Now, we don't want to take up
much of your time.
442
00:14:22,533 --> 00:14:24,033
Let's make this short and sweet.
443
00:14:24,066 --> 00:14:26,200
Okay.
444
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,533
We're prepared to offer you
445
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:29,533
all the free coffee you want
at any of our stores
446
00:14:29,566 --> 00:14:31,333
throughout North America
and Europe,
447
00:14:31,366 --> 00:14:32,333
plus--
448
00:14:32,366 --> 00:14:34,000
I'll take it!
449
00:14:35,366 --> 00:14:36,500
[♪]
450
00:14:40,766 --> 00:14:41,900
[♪]
451
00:14:43,304 --> 00:14:44,304
JACKIE:
"I'll take it"?
452
00:14:44,337 --> 00:14:45,604
"I'll take it."
453
00:14:45,637 --> 00:14:46,604
Who told you to take it?
454
00:14:46,637 --> 00:14:48,237
Did I tell you to take it?
No.
455
00:14:48,271 --> 00:14:50,604
The Maestro didn't tell you
to take it. He wasn't there.
456
00:14:50,637 --> 00:14:52,271
I thought we were lucky
to get anything.
457
00:14:52,304 --> 00:14:53,371
Free coffee?
458
00:14:53,404 --> 00:14:55,404
Yeah.
I don't want free coffee.
459
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:56,604
It's not hard to get coffee.
460
00:14:56,637 --> 00:14:57,771
I can get my own damn coffee.
461
00:14:57,804 --> 00:14:59,637
I wanted to know
what came after that "plus."
462
00:14:59,671 --> 00:15:01,904
Well, I didn't hear any "plus."
463
00:15:01,937 --> 00:15:03,137
Twenty years practicing law,
464
00:15:03,171 --> 00:15:04,937
I never experienced
anything like this.
465
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:06,104
Look, Java World.
466
00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:07,771
Hey, listen,
I'm gonna get out here.
467
00:15:07,804 --> 00:15:09,604
Gonna get myself
a free café latte.
468
00:15:11,571 --> 00:15:14,171
[♪]
469
00:15:16,004 --> 00:15:19,771
[BEETHOVEN'S "SYMPHONY No. 7"
BLARING OVER SPEAKERS]
470
00:15:19,804 --> 00:15:21,237
Hey!
471
00:15:21,271 --> 00:15:22,271
Hi, Maestro.
472
00:15:24,471 --> 00:15:25,771
[CHUCKLES]
473
00:15:31,271 --> 00:15:33,271
Beethoven's "Seventh."
474
00:15:33,304 --> 00:15:35,071
Yeah.
We were just
talking about you.
475
00:15:35,104 --> 00:15:36,637
Yeah.
You know the other day
476
00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:39,237
how you mentioned there were
no houses available in Tuscany.
477
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,046
You didn't find one, did you?
478
00:15:40,046 --> 00:15:41,037
You didn't find one, did you?
479
00:15:41,071 --> 00:15:42,571
No.
480
00:15:42,604 --> 00:15:43,604
Not really looking.
481
00:15:43,637 --> 00:15:45,071
Nor should you.
482
00:15:45,104 --> 00:15:47,737
But are you telling me
there's not one house to rent
483
00:15:47,771 --> 00:15:49,104
in all of Tuscany?
484
00:15:49,137 --> 00:15:52,637
The houses are passed down
from generation to generation.
485
00:15:52,671 --> 00:15:54,071
It's very hard.
486
00:15:54,104 --> 00:15:55,771
I can't get a sublet,
487
00:15:55,804 --> 00:15:58,304
a guest room,
a cot, nothing?
488
00:15:58,337 --> 00:15:59,771
It's booked solid.
489
00:15:59,804 --> 00:16:01,637
It's booked, Jerry.
490
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:03,804
How'd you get yours?
491
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:04,937
Got lucky.
492
00:16:04,971 --> 00:16:06,537
Come on, Elaine,
let's take a ride.
493
00:16:06,571 --> 00:16:08,371
I was about to pop in
some Verdi.
494
00:16:08,404 --> 00:16:10,046
[SINGING ARIA IN ITALIAN]
495
00:16:10,046 --> 00:16:10,337
[SINGING ARIA IN ITALIAN]
496
00:16:16,404 --> 00:16:17,371
MAESTRO:
Ciao.
497
00:16:17,404 --> 00:16:19,404
Maybe I'll check out France!
498
00:16:20,904 --> 00:16:21,904
Hey.
499
00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,404
Hey, George,
you believe this guy?
500
00:16:23,437 --> 00:16:25,704
Who?
Bob Cobb.
501
00:16:25,737 --> 00:16:27,537
Bob Cobb?
502
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,704
You know, the Maestro.
503
00:16:29,737 --> 00:16:30,804
Oh, I missed
the Maestro?
504
00:16:30,837 --> 00:16:32,271
Yeah, get this.
505
00:16:32,304 --> 00:16:34,871
He tells me there are no houses
anywhere in Tuscany to rent.
506
00:16:34,904 --> 00:16:36,637
Hm.
507
00:16:36,671 --> 00:16:38,137
You renting a house
in Tuscany?
508
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:39,604
No.
509
00:16:39,637 --> 00:16:40,046
So, what do you care?
510
00:16:40,046 --> 00:16:41,304
So, what do you care?
511
00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:45,237
[♪]
512
00:16:46,637 --> 00:16:48,371
Yeah, well, I just wish
I could figure out
513
00:16:48,404 --> 00:16:50,304
if this guy's trying
to keep me out of Tuscany.
514
00:16:50,337 --> 00:16:52,137
Of course he is.
515
00:16:52,171 --> 00:16:54,137
There's got to be houses
for rent in Tuscany.
516
00:16:54,171 --> 00:16:55,471
Do you know how big
Tuscany is?
517
00:16:55,504 --> 00:16:56,471
I have no idea.
518
00:16:56,504 --> 00:16:57,737
It-- It's huge.
519
00:16:57,771 --> 00:16:59,271
It's probably
like North Dakota.
520
00:16:59,304 --> 00:17:00,904
Oh. No way it's that big.
521
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,637
It's a big region.
522
00:17:02,671 --> 00:17:04,904
You know how big
North Dakota is, stupid?
523
00:17:06,404 --> 00:17:08,271
I don't know why
I bother even talking to you.
524
00:17:08,304 --> 00:17:09,771
Hey, no one's got
a gun to your head.
525
00:17:09,804 --> 00:17:10,046
All right.
526
00:17:10,046 --> 00:17:11,137
All right.
527
00:17:13,671 --> 00:17:15,071
So I spoke
to the security guard.
528
00:17:15,104 --> 00:17:16,237
Yeah? And?
529
00:17:16,271 --> 00:17:17,937
Well, it was tough
to get a good read,
530
00:17:17,971 --> 00:17:19,737
but I think,
if I brought him a chair,
531
00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:21,437
he'd sit.
532
00:17:21,471 --> 00:17:22,704
You're gonna get him a chair?
533
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,637
Yep. It's really just
a question of what kind.
534
00:17:24,671 --> 00:17:26,104
I'm thinking
about a barstool.
535
00:17:26,137 --> 00:17:27,804
Hm. Yeah.
That'd give him some height.
536
00:17:27,837 --> 00:17:29,304
Be able to check things out.
537
00:17:29,337 --> 00:17:30,537
With a back or without?
538
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,937
Oh, I think
I'd go for the back.
539
00:17:31,971 --> 00:17:34,304
Swivel?
I suppose he could swivel.
540
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:38,271
Hey, maybe a director's chair.
What do you think of those?
541
00:17:38,304 --> 00:17:39,904
I think that's kind of
a pompous look.
542
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:43,937
You know, my parents
used to have a kitchen chair
543
00:17:43,971 --> 00:17:45,137
that would've been perfect.
544
00:17:45,171 --> 00:17:46,937
You mean, one of
those vinyl things?
Yes.
545
00:17:46,971 --> 00:17:49,104
Vinyl, yeah. Maybe.
546
00:17:49,137 --> 00:17:50,704
How can I figure out
547
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,237
if there's any places
to rent in Tuscany?
548
00:17:54,571 --> 00:17:57,271
Wait a minute.
Poppie's from Tuscany.
549
00:17:57,304 --> 00:17:58,804
I'm gonna go call him.
550
00:17:58,837 --> 00:17:59,837
Yeah. Good luck.
551
00:18:00,937 --> 00:18:02,237
Hey.
I'll meet you outside.
552
00:18:02,271 --> 00:18:04,137
[♪]
553
00:18:04,171 --> 00:18:05,637
[BOLD, FESTIVE OPERA BLARING]
554
00:18:05,671 --> 00:18:07,971
[BOTH SINGING IN ITALIAN]
555
00:18:14,437 --> 00:18:16,071
Poppie told me
to talk to his cousin.
556
00:18:16,104 --> 00:18:17,704
He lives down
in little Italy.
557
00:18:17,737 --> 00:18:20,104
What do you think
about a rocking chair?
558
00:18:20,137 --> 00:18:22,571
You can't put a limit on my
café lattes. Says so right here.
559
00:18:22,604 --> 00:18:24,571
And I don't want dirty looks
when I come in here.
560
00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:26,571
If I want a café latte,
you give me a café latte.
561
00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:28,371
If I have any problems,
I'll get my lawyer,
562
00:18:28,404 --> 00:18:30,271
Jackie Chiles,
and you'll be in big trouble.
563
00:18:31,104 --> 00:18:32,137
Hey, hey, hey,
slow down.
564
00:18:32,171 --> 00:18:33,637
What's the matter?
565
00:18:33,671 --> 00:18:36,071
They're making faces 'cause
I've had some café lattes,
566
00:18:36,104 --> 00:18:37,404
but I'm entitled to them.
567
00:18:37,437 --> 00:18:39,604
I can have as many as I want.
That was the settlement.
568
00:18:39,637 --> 00:18:40,046
That's it?
That's it.
569
00:18:40,046 --> 00:18:40,704
That's it?
That's it.
570
00:18:40,737 --> 00:18:42,037
Want one, George?
I can get one.
571
00:18:42,071 --> 00:18:43,437
No problem.
Jerry, you want one?
572
00:18:43,471 --> 00:18:44,904
They're delicious. My pleasure.
573
00:18:44,937 --> 00:18:46,437
You've got to stop it.
574
00:18:46,471 --> 00:18:48,437
You're-- You're all hopped up
on the caffeine.
575
00:18:48,471 --> 00:18:50,604
I feel like I'm talking fast,
but it's hard to tell.
576
00:18:50,637 --> 00:18:52,704
You're racing.
I got things to do.
577
00:18:52,737 --> 00:18:53,804
I'll see you later. Bye.
578
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:58,937
[♪]
579
00:19:01,237 --> 00:19:02,937
[BOTH MOANING]
580
00:19:04,904 --> 00:19:06,137
Oh, Bob.
581
00:19:06,171 --> 00:19:07,237
Bob.
582
00:19:08,571 --> 00:19:10,046
Maestro.
583
00:19:10,046 --> 00:19:11,037
Maestro.
584
00:19:11,071 --> 00:19:13,204
Maestro.
585
00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:14,304
[♪]
586
00:19:19,571 --> 00:19:20,704
Excuse me.
587
00:19:20,737 --> 00:19:22,771
Can I help you?
588
00:19:22,804 --> 00:19:25,304
Nope. Just, uh, giving a chair
to the security guard.
589
00:19:25,337 --> 00:19:27,437
Did Mr. Ross
tell you to do this?
590
00:19:31,804 --> 00:19:33,037
What's your name?
591
00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:34,871
Evan Fain.
592
00:19:34,904 --> 00:19:36,971
I'm engaged
to Mr. Ross' niece.
593
00:19:37,004 --> 00:19:39,604
I'm probably gonna be taking
over this whole place someday,
594
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:40,046
so if I were you,
I'd stay on my good side.
595
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,704
so if I were you,
I'd stay on my good side.
596
00:19:41,737 --> 00:19:43,871
I'm terribly sorry.
I didn't know.
597
00:19:43,904 --> 00:19:45,737
Innocent mistake.
598
00:19:49,304 --> 00:19:50,604
Well...
599
00:19:50,637 --> 00:19:52,271
There you go.
What do you think?
600
00:19:52,304 --> 00:19:54,104
Mr. Ross said this was okay?
601
00:19:54,137 --> 00:19:56,471
I'm his nephew, all right?
Don't worry about it.
602
00:19:56,504 --> 00:19:58,637
Go ahead.
Check it out.
603
00:20:00,437 --> 00:20:01,604
Well.
604
00:20:08,471 --> 00:20:09,804
Not bad.
605
00:20:11,071 --> 00:20:13,271
Not bad at all.
606
00:20:13,304 --> 00:20:14,437
[LAUGHS]
607
00:20:14,471 --> 00:20:16,804
[♪]
608
00:20:19,104 --> 00:20:22,637
Uh, excuse me.
I'm looking for a Mr. Ciccio.
609
00:20:22,671 --> 00:20:23,937
Sí, sí.
610
00:20:23,971 --> 00:20:25,104
I'm Ciccio.
611
00:20:25,137 --> 00:20:27,471
Poppie sent me
to see you, Mr. Ciccio.
612
00:20:27,504 --> 00:20:29,104
Sí, sí, Poppie.
613
00:20:29,137 --> 00:20:32,204
Um, did he--? Did he mention
to you why I called?
614
00:20:32,237 --> 00:20:33,304
Sí.
615
00:20:33,337 --> 00:20:35,237
The house in Toscana.
616
00:20:35,271 --> 00:20:36,471
Yeah, right, right.
617
00:20:36,504 --> 00:20:38,104
So is there anything
there to rent?
618
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,304
Sí.
619
00:20:39,337 --> 00:20:40,046
Two million lire.
You give me the check.
620
00:20:40,046 --> 00:20:41,604
Two million lire.
You give me the check.
621
00:20:41,637 --> 00:20:43,571
No, I didn't actually
wanna rent it.
622
00:20:43,604 --> 00:20:45,637
The keys.
Here are the keys.
623
00:20:45,671 --> 00:20:47,404
You give me the check.
624
00:20:47,437 --> 00:20:49,237
Two million lire.
625
00:20:49,271 --> 00:20:52,571
Seventeen hundred American.
626
00:20:52,604 --> 00:20:54,437
Molto generoso.
627
00:20:57,437 --> 00:20:59,137
Ah, sí. Sí.
628
00:21:03,771 --> 00:21:06,071
No, see, um...
629
00:21:06,104 --> 00:21:08,604
I didn't say that
I wanted to rent it.
630
00:21:08,637 --> 00:21:10,046
I was just wondering
631
00:21:10,046 --> 00:21:10,271
I was just wondering
632
00:21:10,304 --> 00:21:12,871
if there were...
houses there to rent.
633
00:21:12,904 --> 00:21:13,937
Sí.
634
00:21:15,471 --> 00:21:17,004
This one.
635
00:21:17,604 --> 00:21:18,637
Capisce?
636
00:21:21,171 --> 00:21:22,604
[♪]
637
00:21:30,004 --> 00:21:31,937
[♪]
638
00:21:48,792 --> 00:21:50,392
It's been
a rough couple of weeks.
639
00:21:50,425 --> 00:21:52,558
You know,
I really needed to get away.
640
00:21:52,592 --> 00:21:54,392
I told you.
641
00:21:54,425 --> 00:21:56,325
It's paradise.
642
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,925
You were right, Maestro.
643
00:21:58,958 --> 00:22:00,492
[HORN HONKS]
644
00:22:01,658 --> 00:22:03,292
[MAN SHOUTING IN ITALIAN]
645
00:22:11,292 --> 00:22:13,458
KRAMER:
Come on, Jerry,
this guy's crazy. Get out.
646
00:22:13,492 --> 00:22:16,125
I'm getting out.
You didn't have to push me.
647
00:22:16,158 --> 00:22:17,658
KRAMER:
Didn't push you.
648
00:22:17,692 --> 00:22:19,292
How much did
you pay that guy?
649
00:22:19,325 --> 00:22:20,758
Seventy-five thousand lire.
650
00:22:20,792 --> 00:22:22,125
Seventy-five thousand lire?
651
00:22:22,158 --> 00:22:23,425
Are you out of your mind?
652
00:22:23,458 --> 00:22:25,625
Kramer, you don't understand
the conversion rate.
653
00:22:25,658 --> 00:22:27,092
Oh, yeah.
The conversion rate.
654
00:22:27,125 --> 00:22:28,992
You know, I don't even know
why I brought you.
655
00:22:29,025 --> 00:22:30,292
Nobody put a gun
to your head.
656
00:22:30,325 --> 00:22:33,258
[WOMAN SINGING OPERA]
657
00:22:34,992 --> 00:22:36,092
Not bad.
Yeah.
44813
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