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1
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You know,
doctor is supposed to be
2
00:00:02,333 --> 00:00:03,633
such a prestigious occupation,
3
00:00:03,666 --> 00:00:05,133
but it's really
one of the only jobs
4
00:00:05,166 --> 00:00:07,466
where you have
to have your diploma
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,633
right up there on the wall.
6
00:00:08,666 --> 00:00:10,533
It makes them seem
so insecure, doesn't it?
7
00:00:10,566 --> 00:00:12,800
[SLACKER ACCENT]
"I really am a doctor,
you know.
8
00:00:12,833 --> 00:00:13,966
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
9
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,866
If you think I'm not,
just check it out."
10
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,200
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
11
00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:19,966
I mean, I don't know why
they need these little bits
12
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,166
of psychological leverage
over us all the time.
13
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,233
"Go in that little room,
14
00:00:23,266 --> 00:00:25,066
"take your pants off,
wait 15 minutes,
15
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:26,733
then I'll give you my opinion."
16
00:00:26,766 --> 00:00:28,166
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
17
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,000
I mean, after that, anybody
that comes in with pants on
18
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,466
I mean, after that, anybody
that comes in with pants on
19
00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,833
seems like they know
what they're talking about.
20
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,600
In any difference of opinion,
pants always beats no pants.
21
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,066
Can I say
one word to you?
22
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:46,800
Lobster.
23
00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:48,666
The lobster here
is unbelievable.
24
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,333
[CHUCKLES]
25
00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:52,266
Ooh! A little
expensive.
26
00:00:53,433 --> 00:00:55,166
Twenty-five dollars.
27
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,633
Yes, well, you know...
28
00:00:56,666 --> 00:00:58,733
I'm not thinking
about the price.
29
00:00:58,766 --> 00:01:00,066
You know, you're
the only woman
30
00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:02,000
I've never thought
about the price.
31
00:01:02,033 --> 00:01:03,000
Get the lobster.
32
00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:04,200
I beg you to get
the lobster.
33
00:01:04,233 --> 00:01:05,466
Go for it.
Go for the lobster!
34
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,866
George.
35
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:07,866
George, uh...
36
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:08,038
I think
we have to talk.
37
00:01:08,038 --> 00:01:10,966
I think
we have to talk.
38
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,000
I think we have
a problem.
39
00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:14,566
We do?
40
00:01:16,233 --> 00:01:18,233
We can't keep seeing
each other.
41
00:01:19,233 --> 00:01:20,200
Why?
42
00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:21,366
[SNIFFLES]
43
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,633
Because it's over!
44
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,033
[SOBBING]
45
00:01:26,066 --> 00:01:28,533
It's my parents, George.
46
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:32,200
The differences
in our religion...
47
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:34,533
Oh, George.
48
00:01:34,566 --> 00:01:37,400
Can you
ever forgive me?
49
00:01:37,433 --> 00:01:38,038
Uh, have you
decided yet?
50
00:01:38,038 --> 00:01:40,466
Uh, have you
decided yet?
51
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,466
[SOBBING]
Yes.
52
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:44,166
I'll have
the lobster.
53
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:48,500
Um...
54
00:01:48,533 --> 00:01:51,166
You know, I'm--
I'm starting to think that...
55
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,066
maybe lobster
isn't the way to go.
56
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,833
What,
he asked you out?
57
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:59,000
Well, we started to talk,
and I told him that I jog.
58
00:01:59,033 --> 00:02:00,733
And then he put
his hand on my heart.
59
00:02:00,766 --> 00:02:02,000
On your heart?
60
00:02:02,033 --> 00:02:03,900
Jerry, the man is a doctor.
61
00:02:03,933 --> 00:02:05,566
Doctor.
He's a podiatrist.
62
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,233
So? Same thing.
63
00:02:07,266 --> 00:02:08,038
Anyone can get into
podiatry school.
64
00:02:08,038 --> 00:02:09,000
Anyone can get into
podiatry school.
65
00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:10,700
George got into
podiatry school.
66
00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:12,600
Really?
Sure.
67
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,066
Hello.
68
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,366
Oh, hi.
69
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,166
Are you gonna be
stopping by later?
70
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,500
Yes, I'll be stopping.
71
00:02:18,533 --> 00:02:19,900
Okay. I'll see you later.
72
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:21,433
See you later.
73
00:02:22,866 --> 00:02:25,266
Well, we can't all be
dating podiatrists.
74
00:02:30,666 --> 00:02:32,300
It's over.
75
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:33,800
What?
76
00:02:33,833 --> 00:02:34,800
How'd you get in?
77
00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:36,300
Kramer.
78
00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:37,466
What's that?
79
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:38,038
Lobster.
80
00:02:38,038 --> 00:02:38,833
Lobster.
81
00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:43,800
Looks like a swan.
82
00:02:43,833 --> 00:02:45,866
She says we can't
go out anymore.
83
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:46,966
Why?
84
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,500
'Cause I'm not
Latvian Orthodox!
85
00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:52,366
Her parents won't let her
get involved with anyone
86
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:54,300
who isn't Latvian Orthodox!
87
00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:55,833
Latvian Orthodox?
88
00:02:55,866 --> 00:02:56,833
[GASPS]
89
00:02:56,866 --> 00:02:58,800
Ooh! It is lobster.
Oh.
90
00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:02,000
She's limiting herself
to Latvian Orthodox?
91
00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:03,000
That's
too bad.
92
00:03:03,033 --> 00:03:04,866
I know.
93
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:07,866
This was the only woman
I never lied to.
94
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:08,038
Well, that's
not entirely true.
95
00:03:08,038 --> 00:03:09,866
Well, that's
not entirely true.
96
00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:11,633
Well, whatever.
97
00:03:11,666 --> 00:03:12,666
Mmm.
98
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:13,733
This is delicious.
99
00:03:13,766 --> 00:03:14,933
Mmm. Succulent.
Mmm.
100
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,400
She knew
I didn't have a job.
101
00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:19,833
She knew
I lived at home.
102
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:22,466
Didn't seem
to bother her.
103
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,900
I think I could have
married this woman.
104
00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:27,066
Why don't you just
ask her parents?
105
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,400
I can't.
I met them.
106
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,233
They're devout.
107
00:03:30,266 --> 00:03:33,833
You know, in the cab
on the way over here, I...
108
00:03:33,866 --> 00:03:35,733
I actually thought
about converting!
109
00:03:35,766 --> 00:03:36,733
[CHUCKLES]
110
00:03:36,766 --> 00:03:38,038
To Latvian
Orthodox?
111
00:03:38,038 --> 00:03:38,400
To Latvian
Orthodox?
112
00:03:38,433 --> 00:03:40,366
Why not?
What do I care?
113
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:46,066
You know, it's not like
changin' toothpaste.
114
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,600
I think it
would be romantic.
115
00:03:49,766 --> 00:03:51,066
Really?
116
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,066
Yeah,
it's like Edward VIII
117
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,966
abdicating the throne
to marry Mrs. Simpson.
118
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,066
Ohhh!
119
00:03:57,900 --> 00:03:59,033
Like King Edward.
120
00:03:59,066 --> 00:04:00,366
[SNAPPING]
121
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,700
Like King Edward,
Jerry.
122
00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:03,300
Yeah, well...
123
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:04,733
King Edward
didn't live in Queens
124
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:06,433
with Frank
and Estelle Costanza.
125
00:04:08,066 --> 00:04:09,200
You know what?
126
00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:10,533
I could probably
do this.
127
00:04:10,566 --> 00:04:11,633
What's the difference?
128
00:04:11,666 --> 00:04:13,366
George, I was just
kidding around.
129
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,866
Oh, I wouldn't even
have to tell her.
130
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:15,866
I could surprise her!
131
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,566
George,
I wasn't serious!
132
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,200
How hard
could it be?
133
00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:20,633
You make
a little contribution,
134
00:04:20,666 --> 00:04:22,533
you have a ceremony.
135
00:04:22,566 --> 00:04:23,533
[SNAPS]
136
00:04:23,566 --> 00:04:25,700
I am gonna
think about this.
137
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:28,400
I am really gonna
think about this.
138
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:31,700
I guess this one
is my fault.
139
00:04:31,733 --> 00:04:33,066
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
140
00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:40,166
Mmm.
141
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,833
That was nice.
142
00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:43,666
Have you always been
such a good kisser?
143
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,066
Oh, I don't know.
144
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,066
Not always.
145
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,666
No?
146
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:49,833
No, I, uh...
147
00:04:49,866 --> 00:04:51,000
I had to work at it.
148
00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:52,033
When I was a kid,
149
00:04:52,066 --> 00:04:53,666
the other kids
would be out playing.
150
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:55,533
I'd be up in my room,
practicing my kissing.
151
00:04:56,733 --> 00:04:57,900
It was worth it.
152
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:02,200
I'll be right...back.
153
00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:08,000
Where are you going?
154
00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:08,038
Wash my hands.
They're sticky from the orange.
155
00:05:08,038 --> 00:05:10,366
Wash my hands.
They're sticky from the orange.
156
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:11,900
Meet you back here?
157
00:05:11,933 --> 00:05:12,900
Right there.
158
00:05:12,933 --> 00:05:14,033
Okay.
159
00:05:34,733 --> 00:05:36,366
JERRY:
"Fungicide"?
160
00:05:37,866 --> 00:05:38,038
Fungus?
161
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,066
Fungus?
162
00:05:42,833 --> 00:05:44,233
Fungicide.
163
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:47,666
I mean,
what could she have?
164
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,666
I don't know.
165
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:49,666
Fungus.
166
00:05:49,700 --> 00:05:51,166
Exactly.
167
00:05:52,366 --> 00:05:53,800
So, what'd you say?
168
00:05:53,833 --> 00:05:56,133
I said I was comin' down
with the flu or something,
169
00:05:56,166 --> 00:05:57,500
and I had to go home.
170
00:05:57,533 --> 00:05:58,966
I wanna know,
what were you doing
171
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,233
opening her medicine cabinet?
172
00:06:00,266 --> 00:06:01,666
I didn't open it.
173
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:02,666
It was open.
174
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:05,466
I just nudged it
a little.
175
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,466
You were snoopin'.
176
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,038
I was not snooping.
177
00:06:08,038 --> 00:06:08,333
I was not snooping.
178
00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:09,733
I did not
break the seal.
179
00:06:09,766 --> 00:06:11,400
There was
no breaking and entering.
180
00:06:11,433 --> 00:06:12,400
I wouldn't do that.
181
00:06:12,433 --> 00:06:13,433
I would.
182
00:06:14,866 --> 00:06:16,833
I always open
medicine cabinets.
183
00:06:16,866 --> 00:06:20,066
Well, I trust people
not to do that.
184
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,600
Big mistake.
185
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,900
Why don't you ask
that doctor what it is?
186
00:06:25,933 --> 00:06:28,333
Oh, now he's a doctor?
187
00:06:28,366 --> 00:06:30,066
Before he was
a podiatrist.
188
00:06:30,100 --> 00:06:31,466
But that's what
podiatrists do.
189
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,566
They deal
in fungus.
190
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,166
They're knee-deep
in fungus.
191
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,400
This guy
knows fungus.
192
00:06:37,433 --> 00:06:38,038
I am not goin' to
ask him about funguses.
193
00:06:38,038 --> 00:06:40,900
I am not goin' to
ask him about funguses.
194
00:06:40,933 --> 00:06:41,933
"Fungi."
195
00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:45,366
What?
196
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,500
"Fungi."
197
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:57,366
Why do you want to accept
the Latvian Orthodox faith?
198
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,033
[CLEARS THROAT]
199
00:06:59,066 --> 00:07:03,900
In this age of uncertainty
and confusion...
200
00:07:05,166 --> 00:07:08,038
a man begins to ask himself
certain questions.
201
00:07:08,038 --> 00:07:08,933
a man begins to ask himself
certain questions.
202
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:14,733
How can one even begin to put
into words something so, um...?
203
00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:15,866
Enigmatic?
204
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:16,866
No.
205
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:18,133
Vast?
206
00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:20,233
No, not vast. Um...
207
00:07:20,266 --> 00:07:22,366
Well, whatever it is,
208
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,500
basically you like
the religion.
209
00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:25,500
Yes.
210
00:07:25,533 --> 00:07:27,666
Is there one
aspect of the faith
211
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:29,766
you find particularly
attractive?
212
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,100
I think the hats.
213
00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:38,038
The hat conveys that--
214
00:07:38,038 --> 00:07:39,066
The hat conveys that--
215
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:42,066
That solemn religious look
you want in a faith.
216
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:43,566
Very pious.
217
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:47,700
Are you familiar
with Orthodox theology?
218
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,000
Well...
219
00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:52,566
perhaps not to the extent
that you are,
220
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,066
but, uh...
Heh, heh.
221
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:57,033
But I, uh--
I know the basic plot, yeah.
222
00:07:58,033 --> 00:07:59,166
Plot?
223
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,333
Yes, you know,
the flood and the, uh, lepers
224
00:08:02,366 --> 00:08:04,500
and the commandments
and all that.
225
00:08:04,533 --> 00:08:07,833
Well, it's obvious you are
sincere in your desire.
226
00:08:07,866 --> 00:08:08,038
Oh, yes, I am, Father.
227
00:08:08,038 --> 00:08:09,833
Oh, yes, I am, Father.
228
00:08:09,866 --> 00:08:11,800
Incredibly sincere.
229
00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:13,500
So, uh...
230
00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:15,000
pksh, am I in?
231
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,800
The first step
would be
232
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:23,000
to familiarize yourself
with these texts.
233
00:08:23,733 --> 00:08:24,733
Ah-ha.
234
00:08:26,166 --> 00:08:27,633
You see, Father, I-I-I'm--
235
00:08:27,666 --> 00:08:29,800
I'm incredibly anxious
to become a member.
236
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,133
Um...
237
00:08:31,166 --> 00:08:34,300
don't you offer any kind
of an express conversion,
238
00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:35,300
a quick change?
239
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:36,466
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
240
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:37,566
Yes?
241
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:39,633
Oh, I'm sorry.
242
00:08:39,666 --> 00:08:42,300
Father, there's a man
waiting in the chapel.
243
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,300
Well, you may
attend to it, Sister.
244
00:08:44,333 --> 00:08:46,633
Oh, this is
George Costanza.
245
00:08:46,666 --> 00:08:49,466
He is interested
in joining the church.
246
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,900
Are you?
Well, that's wonderful!
247
00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:52,900
Well, good luck
to you.
248
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:53,933
Thank you.
249
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:55,433
Thank you.
250
00:08:57,033 --> 00:08:58,100
Nice nun.
251
00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:02,400
No, no. Sister Roberta
is not a nun.
252
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:05,066
She is what we call
a novice.
253
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,900
She won't be taking
her final vows
254
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:08,038
until next Thursday.
255
00:09:08,038 --> 00:09:08,233
until next Thursday.
256
00:09:08,266 --> 00:09:09,300
Ah.
257
00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:10,566
May I help you?
258
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,133
Oh! Uh, yeah.
I'm, uh, here to pick up
259
00:09:13,166 --> 00:09:14,900
my friend George Costanza.
260
00:09:14,933 --> 00:09:16,800
Oh, well, he's in
with the Father.
261
00:09:16,833 --> 00:09:18,966
Oh, yeah. Yeah...
262
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,066
I'm Sister Roberta.
263
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,566
Oh. Kramer. Yeah.
264
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:23,066
It's a pleasure.
265
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,100
Mine.
266
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,400
GEORGE:
I can't believe
how easy it is!
267
00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:30,233
I'm virtually
Orthodox.
268
00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:32,533
All I have to do
is read a few books,
269
00:09:32,566 --> 00:09:33,800
memorize a few prayers,
270
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:35,366
and I'm in the club.
271
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,400
That's all
there is to it.
272
00:09:36,433 --> 00:09:38,038
That's all
there is to it.
273
00:09:38,038 --> 00:09:38,300
That's all
there is to it.
274
00:09:38,333 --> 00:09:40,033
By Christmas Day,
275
00:09:40,066 --> 00:09:42,366
I will be
Brother Costanza.
276
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,066
And what is
Brother Costanza
277
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:47,100
planning on telling
Mother Costanza?
278
00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:52,566
Brother Costanza will be
taking the vow of silence.
279
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:55,566
Oh!
280
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,200
Hey.
Hey.
281
00:09:57,233 --> 00:09:58,200
Oh, a slinky.
282
00:09:58,233 --> 00:10:02,200
Whoom, whoom,
whoom.
283
00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:03,533
Sister Roberta
gave it to me.
284
00:10:03,566 --> 00:10:04,633
Why'd she
give you that?
285
00:10:04,666 --> 00:10:06,233
Well, I think
she liked me.
286
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:09,633
What do you mean,
she liked you?
287
00:10:09,666 --> 00:10:11,633
Liked me.
288
00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:12,866
Kramer, they
like everybody.
289
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:14,033
They're
friendly people.
290
00:10:14,066 --> 00:10:15,033
No, no, no.
291
00:10:15,066 --> 00:10:16,666
I think I picked up
on a vibe.
292
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,733
Chk-chk-chk, chk, chk!
293
00:10:18,766 --> 00:10:21,366
You picked up
on a vibe from a nun?
294
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:22,666
Yeah, yeah.
295
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,333
Jerry, I'm tellin' ya,
I have this power.
296
00:10:25,366 --> 00:10:27,833
And I have
no control over it.
297
00:10:27,866 --> 00:10:28,900
Yeah.
All right.
298
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:30,000
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
299
00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:31,533
Oh! That's
my phone.
300
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:35,500
Oh, hi.
Hi.
301
00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:38,038
Just wanted to stop by
and see how you were feeling.
302
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:38,166
Just wanted to stop by
and see how you were feeling.
303
00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,166
Oh, a little better.
304
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,333
[COUGHS]
305
00:10:42,366 --> 00:10:44,666
Okay, well, if you need
anything, you let me know.
306
00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:45,666
Okay.
Okay.
307
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:46,666
All right.
Bye.
308
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:47,933
Bye.
309
00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:52,200
Story.
310
00:10:52,233 --> 00:10:54,900
She's subletting
Carol's place for a month.
311
00:10:54,933 --> 00:10:56,300
Yeah. She likes you!
312
00:10:56,333 --> 00:10:57,666
Yeah. But there's
a problem.
313
00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,966
I found a tube of a fungicide
in her medicine cabinet.
314
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,133
So?
315
00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:04,133
So I don't know
what she's using it for.
316
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:06,133
Well, how do you
even know it's hers?
317
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,366
Maybe it belonged
to Carol.
318
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,038
Did you see her name
on the tube?
319
00:11:08,038 --> 00:11:08,800
Did you see her name
on the tube?
320
00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:11,033
I didn't even think to look!
Well, take a look.
321
00:11:11,066 --> 00:11:13,000
It might not even
belong to her.
Yeah!
322
00:11:13,033 --> 00:11:15,500
People always leave old things
in their medicine cabinets.
323
00:11:15,533 --> 00:11:17,466
Yeah! I got this old
bottle of cough medicine.
324
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,333
I still have Brylcreem.
325
00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:24,333
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
326
00:11:30,866 --> 00:11:31,833
Hi.
327
00:11:31,866 --> 00:11:32,866
Hi.
328
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,166
Could I use your bathroom?
329
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,666
My bathroom?
330
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,233
You sure you don't mind?
331
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,466
No, of course not.
332
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,800
People ask me medical questions
all the time.
333
00:11:42,833 --> 00:11:45,666
Well, I mean, the question
isn't even for me, actually.
334
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:46,733
It's for a friend.
335
00:11:46,766 --> 00:11:48,233
Elaine,
I'm used to it.
336
00:11:48,266 --> 00:11:49,233
I'm a doctor.
337
00:11:49,266 --> 00:11:50,233
[SCOFFS]
338
00:11:50,266 --> 00:11:51,500
Well...
339
00:11:51,533 --> 00:11:52,666
podiatrist.
340
00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:56,033
Huh?
341
00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:58,900
No, no.
I'm just saying you...
342
00:11:58,933 --> 00:12:01,166
You didn't really
go to medical school,
343
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,000
you went to
podiatry school,
344
00:12:03,033 --> 00:12:06,566
which I'm sure is very grueling
in its own way.
345
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,038
I went to podiatry school
because I like feet.
346
00:12:08,038 --> 00:12:10,333
I went to podiatry school
because I like feet.
347
00:12:10,366 --> 00:12:13,333
I chose to work
with feet.
348
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:15,333
I like feet too.
349
00:12:15,366 --> 00:12:17,333
I-- I'm just saying...
350
00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:18,833
Saying...what?
351
00:12:19,766 --> 00:12:21,300
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
352
00:12:21,333 --> 00:12:23,033
How you doing
in there?
353
00:12:23,066 --> 00:12:24,300
Uh, fine. All done.
354
00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:26,800
Just lookin' for the soap.
355
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,300
No soap?
356
00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:29,800
No, I don't see it.
357
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,333
[KNOCKS]
358
00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:34,233
Here you go.
359
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:35,866
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
360
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:36,866
ESTELLE:
George?
361
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:38,038
What're you doing
in there?
362
00:12:38,038 --> 00:12:39,033
What're you doing
in there?
363
00:12:39,066 --> 00:12:41,200
What? Nothing.
364
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:42,800
FRANK:
You've been in there
an hour.
365
00:12:42,833 --> 00:12:45,233
ESTELLE: You don't feel well?
I'm fine.
366
00:12:45,266 --> 00:12:47,466
ESTELLE:
I wanna know what
you're doing in there!
367
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,466
Nothing!
368
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:49,866
FRANK:
George, open the door.
369
00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:50,866
No.
370
00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:51,866
ESTELLE:
Georgie!
371
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:52,900
No!
372
00:12:54,266 --> 00:12:55,333
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
373
00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:57,866
Hey.
Good evening.
374
00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:59,300
I hope I'm not
disturbing you,
375
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:02,333
but I found another toy
I thought you might like.
376
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:14,504
Okay, Latvius was the son
of which apostle?
377
00:13:14,537 --> 00:13:16,570
And I'll need that
in the form of a question.
378
00:13:18,937 --> 00:13:20,337
I don't know, I--
379
00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:23,204
I can't believe they're
makin' me take this test.
380
00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:27,504
Hey, did you talk
to the doctor?
381
00:13:27,537 --> 00:13:28,837
No.
382
00:13:28,870 --> 00:13:31,670
All right, the next time
you see him, show him this.
383
00:13:31,704 --> 00:13:33,670
You took her medicine!
384
00:13:33,704 --> 00:13:35,170
Well, not on purpose.
385
00:13:35,204 --> 00:13:36,370
I-- I was...
386
00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:37,120
I was hoping there'd be
a name on the tube.
387
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,170
I was hoping there'd be
a name on the tube.
388
00:13:38,204 --> 00:13:39,504
When are you
seein' him again?
389
00:13:39,537 --> 00:13:40,504
I don't know.
390
00:13:40,537 --> 00:13:41,837
We got into
this whole thing
391
00:13:41,870 --> 00:13:44,537
about how podiatrists
aren't real doctors.
392
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,037
How could you say that?
393
00:13:47,737 --> 00:13:49,204
That's your fault!
394
00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:50,637
You just
got me thinkin'.
395
00:13:50,670 --> 00:13:52,537
I was merely speaking
extemporaneously.
396
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:54,204
I've got nothing
against the foot.
397
00:13:54,237 --> 00:13:55,970
I'm pro-foot.
398
00:13:56,004 --> 00:13:57,137
Me too.
399
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,637
Do you think I should
call him and apologize?
400
00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:01,837
Yes! He's a doctor.
401
00:14:03,504 --> 00:14:04,670
Wait a second.
402
00:14:07,004 --> 00:14:07,120
What're you doin'?
403
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,137
What're you doin'?
404
00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:09,704
What does it look
like I'm doin'?
405
00:14:10,870 --> 00:14:12,337
"Matthew. Luke.
406
00:14:13,070 --> 00:14:14,637
Paul."
407
00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:17,504
What, you're cheating
on your conversion test?
408
00:14:20,170 --> 00:14:21,470
I told ya.
What?
409
00:14:21,504 --> 00:14:22,637
I told you she liked me.
410
00:14:22,670 --> 00:14:24,470
Who?
Sister Roberta.
411
00:14:24,504 --> 00:14:25,637
How do you know?
She told me.
412
00:14:25,670 --> 00:14:27,170
She says she's
never had a man
413
00:14:27,204 --> 00:14:29,570
stir up all these feelings
inside of her.
414
00:14:29,604 --> 00:14:30,904
She's questionin'
her faith.
415
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,570
She's thinking
of leavin' the church!
416
00:14:32,604 --> 00:14:33,570
Wow.
417
00:14:33,604 --> 00:14:34,570
Aaargh!
418
00:14:34,604 --> 00:14:37,120
All this power!
419
00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:37,404
All this power!
420
00:14:37,437 --> 00:14:38,570
Look what I'm doin'!
421
00:14:38,604 --> 00:14:39,737
I'm dangerous,
Jerry.
422
00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:41,604
I'm very,
very dangerous!
423
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:51,970
I must say, George,
424
00:14:52,004 --> 00:14:53,837
I was somewhat surprised
425
00:14:53,870 --> 00:14:56,270
at the results of
your conversion test.
426
00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:58,070
I don't recall
427
00:14:58,104 --> 00:15:01,837
having seen
such an impressive performance!
428
00:15:03,104 --> 00:15:06,737
You truly must be filled
with the spirit of the Lord.
429
00:15:06,770 --> 00:15:07,120
Oh, I'm--
I'm full of it, Father.
430
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:09,170
Oh, I'm--
I'm full of it, Father.
431
00:15:12,070 --> 00:15:13,370
Yes, yes.
432
00:15:13,404 --> 00:15:15,204
[SPEAKING LATVIAN]
...Kramer...
433
00:15:15,237 --> 00:15:17,537
Yes, yes, yes. I see.
434
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:20,204
I'm sorry.
Something has come up.
435
00:15:20,237 --> 00:15:22,004
Oh. Oh, sure.
I understand.
436
00:15:24,737 --> 00:15:26,437
Hey!
Hey. Yeah.
437
00:15:27,904 --> 00:15:29,370
Um...
438
00:15:29,404 --> 00:15:30,804
You wanted to see me, Father?
439
00:15:30,837 --> 00:15:33,737
Yes.
Please, sit down.
440
00:15:35,737 --> 00:15:37,120
Sister Roberta came
to see me yesterday--
441
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:37,870
Sister Roberta came
to see me yesterday--
442
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,804
I know what
this is about, Father.
443
00:15:39,837 --> 00:15:41,070
I didn't do anything.
444
00:15:41,104 --> 00:15:44,204
I just spoke to her innocently
for just a few minutes.
445
00:15:44,237 --> 00:15:45,904
It's just that I...
446
00:15:45,937 --> 00:15:47,904
I have this power.
447
00:15:49,070 --> 00:15:50,804
Yes.
448
00:15:50,837 --> 00:15:51,904
Kavorca.
449
00:15:51,937 --> 00:15:53,504
Kavorca?
Mm-hmm.
450
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:55,504
It is a Latvian word
451
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:59,037
which means
"the lure of the animal."
452
00:16:00,037 --> 00:16:01,204
I don't understand.
453
00:16:02,070 --> 00:16:04,670
Women are drawn to you.
Yeah.
454
00:16:04,704 --> 00:16:07,120
They would give anything
to be possessed by you.
455
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:07,837
They would give anything
to be possessed by you.
456
00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:09,337
Help me, Father.
457
00:16:09,370 --> 00:16:10,337
Help me!
458
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,337
Yes, yes, yes.
I will help you.
459
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:14,537
Now, listen
very carefully.
460
00:16:14,570 --> 00:16:18,537
I want you to buy
10 cloves of garlic,
461
00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:20,837
three quarts of vinegar,
Mm-hmm.
462
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:22,870
six ounces...
463
00:16:24,037 --> 00:16:25,370
JERRY:
What is that stench?
464
00:16:26,104 --> 00:16:27,537
I got it.
465
00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:30,570
Ah-ha!
466
00:16:33,037 --> 00:16:33,970
Hey.
Hey.
467
00:16:34,004 --> 00:16:35,004
What the hell
is goin' on?
468
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,637
It stinks in here,
what are you doing?
469
00:16:36,670 --> 00:16:37,120
I've got
the kavorca, Jerry.
470
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:37,870
I've got
the kavorca, Jerry.
471
00:16:37,904 --> 00:16:39,037
The kavorca?
What is that?
472
00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:41,137
The lure
of the animal.
473
00:16:41,170 --> 00:16:42,204
I'm dangerous.
474
00:16:42,237 --> 00:16:44,004
Well, what is this thing
around your neck?
475
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:45,470
The priests,
they're helping me.
476
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,504
I just bathed
in vinegar.
477
00:16:47,537 --> 00:16:49,837
You know, you're funkifying
the whole building!
478
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:52,570
Keep away, Jerry.
Keep away.
479
00:16:53,837 --> 00:16:55,304
Kramer.
480
00:16:55,337 --> 00:16:56,337
Kramer!
481
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:01,370
George Costanza?
482
00:17:02,237 --> 00:17:03,337
Estelle's son?
483
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:06,137
ESTELLE:
Latvian Orthodox?
484
00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:07,120
Why are you
doing this?
485
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:07,637
Why are you
doing this?
486
00:17:07,670 --> 00:17:08,804
For a woman.
487
00:17:08,837 --> 00:17:09,804
A woman?
488
00:17:09,837 --> 00:17:11,137
What, are you
out of your mind?
489
00:17:11,170 --> 00:17:13,537
Why can't you do anything
like a normal person?
490
00:17:13,570 --> 00:17:14,970
Wait.
491
00:17:15,004 --> 00:17:19,004
Is this the group that goes
around mutilating squirrels?
492
00:17:20,337 --> 00:17:21,904
No, it's
a regular religion.
493
00:17:21,937 --> 00:17:23,070
I'm calling my lawyer.
494
00:17:23,104 --> 00:17:24,970
It might not be too late
to get out of this.
495
00:17:25,004 --> 00:17:26,137
I don't wanna
get out of it!
496
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,304
But, George,
497
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,237
you don't know
what you're saying.
498
00:17:29,270 --> 00:17:31,237
You're under their control.
499
00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:32,904
What, they
brainwashed you?!
500
00:17:32,937 --> 00:17:34,137
No, no.
501
00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:37,004
You're not performing
any rituals in this house!
502
00:17:37,037 --> 00:17:37,120
Go back
to the psychiatrist.
503
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,470
Go back
to the psychiatrist.
504
00:17:38,504 --> 00:17:39,570
I beg you.
505
00:17:39,604 --> 00:17:41,270
And stay away
from those squirrels!
506
00:17:45,437 --> 00:17:46,904
Oh, hi.
507
00:17:46,937 --> 00:17:48,170
How you doin',
Jerry?
508
00:17:48,204 --> 00:17:49,237
Good.
What's the matter?
509
00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:50,670
I'm tired.
510
00:17:50,704 --> 00:17:53,670
I hardly slept last night
with all the scratching.
511
00:17:53,704 --> 00:17:56,037
Bonkers was going crazy.
512
00:17:56,770 --> 00:17:57,737
Bonkers?
513
00:17:57,770 --> 00:17:58,870
My cat.
514
00:17:58,904 --> 00:18:01,804
He's got this weird
sort of skin condition.
515
00:18:01,837 --> 00:18:02,970
It's some type of fungus.
516
00:18:03,004 --> 00:18:04,304
I couldn't find
his medicine.
517
00:18:04,337 --> 00:18:06,537
Oh, it's your cat!
518
00:18:06,570 --> 00:18:07,120
What?
519
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:07,537
What?
520
00:18:07,570 --> 00:18:09,370
Oh...
521
00:18:09,404 --> 00:18:10,737
nothing.
522
00:18:15,070 --> 00:18:16,870
Are you ready,
my son?
523
00:18:16,904 --> 00:18:18,204
Yes, faddah.
524
00:18:18,237 --> 00:18:19,470
What did you say?
525
00:18:19,504 --> 00:18:20,537
What?
526
00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:22,437
I thought
you said "faddah."
527
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:24,204
I said "faddah."
528
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,704
I, uh...
529
00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,404
I meant "Father."
Oh!
530
00:18:27,437 --> 00:18:28,570
Just a little bit
nervous.
531
00:18:28,604 --> 00:18:30,404
Of course!
532
00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:42,904
How you doin'?
533
00:18:42,937 --> 00:18:44,837
Get away from me,
you creep.
534
00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:46,337
Yes, yes!
535
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:47,670
It worked!
536
00:18:47,704 --> 00:18:48,670
Sister Roberta.
537
00:18:48,704 --> 00:18:50,570
I still got time to catch her.
538
00:18:50,604 --> 00:18:53,070
[ORGAN PLAYING SOLEMN MELODY]
539
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:03,037
[PRAYING IN LATVIAN]
540
00:19:07,704 --> 00:19:09,070
Gotta get there.
541
00:19:23,670 --> 00:19:26,170
Congratulations,
George.
542
00:19:27,170 --> 00:19:28,970
Welcome to the faith.
543
00:19:29,004 --> 00:19:30,470
Sister Roberta,
544
00:19:30,504 --> 00:19:33,504
would you please offer
the final benediction?
545
00:19:37,737 --> 00:19:38,704
I can't.
546
00:19:38,737 --> 00:19:39,704
[CROWD GASPS]
547
00:19:39,737 --> 00:19:41,370
I'm sorry.
548
00:19:41,404 --> 00:19:42,970
It's a beautiful
religion,
549
00:19:43,004 --> 00:19:44,670
but I am not
worthy of it.
550
00:19:45,537 --> 00:19:47,204
I found something else.
551
00:19:50,337 --> 00:19:51,470
[DOOR CLOSES]
552
00:19:51,504 --> 00:19:52,504
Him.
553
00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:54,637
MAN:
Kavorca!
554
00:19:54,670 --> 00:19:55,637
WOMAN:
Kavorca!
555
00:19:55,670 --> 00:19:57,837
CROWD:
Kavorca! Kavorca!
556
00:20:00,570 --> 00:20:02,804
You know, because
I love the foot.
557
00:20:02,837 --> 00:20:05,237
I'm a big fan of the foot.
558
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,404
Well, it's my fault.
559
00:20:06,437 --> 00:20:07,120
I got a little defensive.
560
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:07,570
I got a little defensive.
561
00:20:07,604 --> 00:20:09,070
And that pinkie toe!
562
00:20:09,104 --> 00:20:10,737
Oh.
Come on!
563
00:20:10,770 --> 00:20:12,737
How adorable is the pinkie toe?
564
00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:13,737
[CHUCKLES]
565
00:20:13,770 --> 00:20:15,237
It's my favorite toe.
566
00:20:15,270 --> 00:20:16,304
Let's face it.
567
00:20:16,337 --> 00:20:17,970
You get a bunion,
where you goin'?
568
00:20:18,004 --> 00:20:19,337
You're not goin'
to the ear guy.
569
00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:20,737
No, you're not.
570
00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:21,937
[GIGGLES]
571
00:20:24,770 --> 00:20:26,604
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
572
00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,170
Would you excuse me?
573
00:20:30,204 --> 00:20:32,004
I'll be right back.
574
00:20:32,037 --> 00:20:33,404
Oh, uh, where's the bathroom?
575
00:20:33,437 --> 00:20:35,204
Oh, it's right down here
to the left.
576
00:20:36,537 --> 00:20:37,120
I will, uh, meet you
right back here?
577
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:38,470
I will, uh, meet you
right back here?
578
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,004
Elaine, it's her cat!
579
00:20:41,037 --> 00:20:43,237
Her cat has the fungus.
580
00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:44,604
So I need the tube back.
581
00:20:49,104 --> 00:20:50,870
PODIATRIST:
"Fungicide"?
582
00:20:50,904 --> 00:20:52,104
Fungus?
583
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:56,370
ROBERTA:
Something's wrong.
584
00:20:56,404 --> 00:20:58,604
I don't feel
the same lure.
585
00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:00,404
You don't?
586
00:21:01,170 --> 00:21:02,704
What have I...?
587
00:21:02,737 --> 00:21:04,904
I must return to the church.
588
00:21:06,237 --> 00:21:07,120
By the way, you really need
to take a bath. You stink.
589
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,870
By the way, you really need
to take a bath. You stink.
590
00:21:08,904 --> 00:21:09,870
Yeah. Yeah.
591
00:21:09,904 --> 00:21:11,370
Yeah!
592
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,370
Once you put medicine
in your medicine cabinet,
593
00:21:13,404 --> 00:21:14,704
you're never usin' it again.
594
00:21:14,737 --> 00:21:16,404
Any medicine you're usin'
is on the sink.
595
00:21:16,437 --> 00:21:18,204
It's not really even
a medicine cabinet.
596
00:21:18,237 --> 00:21:20,537
It's really like
an ointment museum, isn't it?
597
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:23,037
It's like,
"Here's a salve from 1983,
598
00:21:23,070 --> 00:21:25,704
some cream from the '70s."
599
00:21:25,737 --> 00:21:27,037
But you wanna
keep it private,
600
00:21:27,070 --> 00:21:28,637
because a medicine cabinet
is a place
601
00:21:28,670 --> 00:21:30,070
that reveals our weaknesses,
602
00:21:30,104 --> 00:21:31,837
and it could really
throw off the balance
603
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:33,704
between two people
that might be goin' out.
604
00:21:33,737 --> 00:21:35,070
Somebody peeks in there, and,
605
00:21:35,104 --> 00:21:37,120
"Oh, I see Mr. Perfect
needs tough actin' Tinactin.
606
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,670
"Oh, I see Mr. Perfect
needs tough actin' Tinactin.
607
00:21:38,704 --> 00:21:40,004
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
608
00:21:40,037 --> 00:21:42,237
"Well, I guess
I'll be callin' the shots
609
00:21:42,270 --> 00:21:44,504
in this relationship
from now on."
610
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:47,537
[♪]
611
00:21:53,704 --> 00:21:56,004
You did that
for me?
612
00:21:56,037 --> 00:21:58,870
Well, I didn't do it
for my mother.
613
00:21:58,904 --> 00:22:00,670
I'm really
flattered.
614
00:22:00,704 --> 00:22:02,170
Yeah.
615
00:22:02,204 --> 00:22:06,004
But I just don't feel ready
to make a commitment yet.
616
00:22:06,037 --> 00:22:08,204
Maybe when I get back
from Latvia.
617
00:22:11,504 --> 00:22:12,804
Latvia?
618
00:22:12,837 --> 00:22:14,370
[LAUGHS]
Yes!
619
00:22:14,404 --> 00:22:17,137
I'm going to stay with some
relatives there for a year.
620
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,137
Isn't it great?
621
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:19,537
Ooh!
622
00:22:20,837 --> 00:22:23,020
Enjoy, enjoy.
623
00:22:23,020 --> 00:22:23,037
Enjoy, enjoy.
624
00:22:23,070 --> 00:22:24,037
Oh, George.
625
00:22:24,070 --> 00:22:26,537
You are so sweet.
626
00:22:26,570 --> 00:22:28,504
Don't ever change.
627
00:22:29,004 --> 00:22:30,337
Mmm-mwah!
628
00:22:32,537 --> 00:22:34,837
I'd like a doggie bag
for this, please.
40717
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