All language subtitles for Cirque.du.Freak .The.Vampires.Assistant.2009.720p.BluRay.x264. YTS.MX-English

DARREN: You know,
sometimes it seems like
life is all planned out.

There's no choice
in the matter.

We're all gonna end up
in the same place,
whether we like it or not.

But sometimes things
aren't so simple.

You can end up hurting
the people you love
the most,

betraying the people
you want to
come through for.

That's not me.
That's my best friend, Steve.

We've been best friends
since third grade,

when he punched this kid,
Billy Utsch, for slamming
a locker door on my head.

That's me.
I'm Darren Shan,
and this is my story.

Oh, and, trust me, spending
this much time in a coffin

was never part of my plan.

Guess I'm just lucky.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

(STUDENTS CHATTERING)

DARREN: Up until recently,
my life was pretty good.

I was popular enough.

I got good grades,
'cause my allowance
was tied to it.

A's! I love you.
I love you.

Yeah, that's the boy.
That's the boy.

Hey, you.
BOY: What's up, D?

DARREN: And I had
some cool friends.

Hey, what's up?

DARREN: Uh,
not including that dude.

I mean, we were friends
in fifth grade, but he'd
become kind of a freak.

See, that used to
matter to me.

There was one thing
in my life that was
a bit insane, one friend.

Hey.
My best friend.

Let's cut, all right?
What?

No, we're here.
Class is starting, man.

All right, folks.

What you got for me?

Okay, listen,
I cannot deal with
that jerk today.

All right, Mr. Perfect,
come on, take a risk.
Take a risk. Come on!

(STEVE GRUNTS)

(CLATTERING)

So, hey, I'm thinking
about moving to Mexico.
You want to go?

Yeah, sure. Why not?

Yeah, you're not going
anywhere, Mr. Perfect.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Oh, shit.

Hey, man, I bet you can't
hit that light from all
the way back here.

What? No, we're
gonna get busted.

"Steve, we're gonna
get busted."

Hey!
Rock. Come on.

And so the Mutually
Assured Destruction policy
of the Cold War

(GLASS SHATTERING)
Was just that. Mad.

What the heck is that?

(MRS. SHAN SOBBING)

I'm so sorry.

It's that Steve.
It's that damn Steve.

Uh...

Did Darren tell you he got
an A on his math test?

Yes, he did, honey.
Go to your room.

You are not going
to be friends with
that Steve anymore!

Mom, I'm not
five years old.

You can't tell me who I can
and can't be friends with.

You are on
a good path, Darren,

and that Steve is
knocking you
right off that path.

What path?

The path to a happy,
productive life.

To a good college,
a great job
and a family of your own.

A happy, productive life.
College, job, family!

College, job,
family!

And one day,
if you're
really lucky,

you'll be standing here
yelling at a teenager
of your own!

DARREN: College, job,
family!

College, job, family!

College, job, family!
It's not that hard!

MRS. SHAN: Darren,
are you listening?

So, wait. You...

What, you told your parents
you're not gonna be friends
with me anymore?

Yeah, but, I mean,
it doesn't mean anything.

We're still like
best friends.

Okay, like what,
secret best friends?

Yeah, kind of.

I mean, no, it's like...

Look, I don't care
what they say.

Bullshit.

You do care what they say.
You do whatever they say.

That's just who you are.

You never stand up
for yourself
or anybody else.

Maybe your parents
are right.

Maybe you shouldn't
be friends with me.
I'm nothing. I'm garbage.

You're not garbage.

You're my friend.
You're my best friend.

(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Whoa!

"Cirque du Freak.
One night only. The world's
greatest freak show.

"Five hundred years."
What the heck?

Dude, that
looks awesome.

I can't go, though.
I'm grounded for two months.

Right. And we're also
not friends anymore.

What's this?

A freak show?
This is illegal.

I hope you weren't thinking
of attending this.

Because the idea of taking
a group of disgusting,

weird, deformed people
and exploiting them for
money... Not in our town.

I'm assuming no one
in this class would
actually go to this.

Hey. You know that means
something when the
moon looks like that.

I read about it...

In one of your
vampire books?

DARREN: I should explain.

Steve was obsessed
with vampires,

and I, on the other hand,
was obsessed with spiders.

I don't know why.
It was just like it was
in our blood or something.

"Back in three seconds"?

One, two, three.
It's been three seconds.

(DOOR OPENS)

(THUDDING)

(STEVE LAUGHS)

Uh...

Okay.

I guess they want money.

Hey, I need two
tickets, please.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, come on.
I gave you the money,
give me the ticket.

(SNARLING)
Ow! Whoa!

Holy crap!
God, what was that?

Hey, come on!

(FOOTSTEPS RETREATING)

And it's gone.

You okay?
Yeah.

Hello?

Are you boys 21?

Are you 21?

Say yes.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Good. You don't have
a tendency towards panic,

sudden cardiac arrest
or crippling anxiety,
do you?

Say no.

No.
No.

All right, then.

Go ahead in.
Show is about to start.

(AUDIENCE MURMURING)

Welcome.

Welcome to the
Cirque du Freak,

the oldest continuously
operating freak show
in the Western hemisphere.

We have toured
for 500 years,

bringing the bizarre
to generation
after generation.

May I present the Wolfman!

(ROARING)

(WOMEN SCREAMING)

(CLICKING TONGUE)

(FLIES BUZZING)

MR. TALL: (SOFTLY)
No sudden noises.

(GROWLS)

Dude, he totally just
scratched his balls.

(CRACKING KNUCKLES)

(AUDIENCE GASPS)

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)
STEVE: No!

Call an ambulance!

It's okay.
That's not necessary.

(MR. TALL CLICKS TONGUE)

Good boy.

And stay.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

MR. TALL: Ladies
and gentlemen,

the enchanting
recycling queen,
Corma Limbs.

And now our resident
hunger artist,
Alexander Ribs!

(AUDIENCE GASPS)

Freaky-freak,
freak for freak freak.

Oh, look, a candy corn.

And next, Gertha Teeth!

And Rhamus Twobellies!

I have arrived!

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

Hey, nice bike!

Come on.
That is so rude.

And next,
Evra the Snake Boy!

(BIPPO HISSING)

Stay, Bippo.

So, I'm Evra Von Britow,
and we are Serpentine.

(SCOFFS)
Who's "we"?

There'll be some CDs for sale
in the lobby immediately
following the show.

(GUITAR PLAYING ON AMPLIFIER)

(AMPLIFIER TURNS OFF)

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Bippo! No!

Bippo, drop it,
spit that out!

Yes, I'm glad you're
all enjoying this so much.
It's awesome.

Evra, please
be professional.

It's not my fault.
I just want to play music.

We'll discuss it later.

But...

And now,

the voluptuous,
the exotic,

the insightful
Madame Truska!

(EXOTIC DRUMBEAT PLAYING)

Do we have someone
brave enough to
be my assistant?

MAN 1: Over here.
MAN 2: Oh, yeah.

Come on. Come on.

You.

(GASPS)

Who are you?

My name is Fred Smith.
I'm from out of town.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

Larten, finish your act
quickly, and let's leave
this town early.

What? I have someone
here tonight.

Ready for more?

Larten Crepsley
and Madam Octa!

(GASPS)

Don't go on.
I have a foreboding.

You always have
a foreboding, beautiful.

Larten!

(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.

I am so excited to be here
in anonymous small town

which used to have character
but is now just a bland suburb

filled with chain stores
and surrounded by slums.

It really is a pleasure
to be here.

And I am so honored that

blah, blah, blah and so on
and so forth, et cetera,
ad nauseum.

I'm afraid I have some
unfortunate news, however.

I had hoped to
present my usual act,
but my spider, Madam Octa,

seems to have escaped
from her cage and is
currently missing.

Use caution when retrieving
your belongings from
beneath your seats.

She is very poisonous.

But not to worry.

Tonight I will perform for you
some startling illusions.

First, a rabbit from a hat.

(EXCLAIMS)

(AUDIENCE GASPS)

This is Madam Octa.

Interesting fact, one bite
from this spider
means certain death.

But don't worry.
As long as I stay calm...

She's beautiful.

If I could just get
my flute, that usually...

(EXCLAIMING)

(PLAYING FLUTE)

Darren. His name's
not Larten Crepsley.

It's Vur Horsten.
He's a vampire.

I saw his painting
in one of my vampire books.

It's him. He's got
the same scars,

the same hair,
the same everything.

(AUDIENCE GASPING)

You seriously think
he's a vampire?

Yeah.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

May I have my spider
back, please?

Now, boys,
vampires don't exist,

but if one did and he
thought someone knew,

he might smother them
in their sleep.

That's it! Show's over!

It's Mr. Kersey.
Come on, let's go.

By order of the
Health Inspector,
this theater is shut down!

Good Lord, not again.

Welcome to the Cirque.
What seems to be the problem?

We don't want you
filthy people here.

That's not the problem.

The problem is you
are exploiting these
poor people for profit.

Thank you. Thank you
so much for looking out
for us.

So you gonna let us
move in with you?
Give us jobs?

(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Freak!

GERTHA: So clumsy.
I felt like a manatee.
It felt terrible.

LOAF HEAD: No.

Octa.

Anyone here?

Whoa.

Hey, Octa. I'm Darren.
I'm a big fan.

(PLAYING HESITANTLY)

CREPSLEY: (DISTANTLY)
We can speak in private.
It's the only...

We can talk in private.
The police have left now.

GAVNER: So, this is
what you've been doing
with your life.

CREPSLEY: You didn't
like the act.

(SOFTLY) I'm insane.
I'm insane. I'm insane.

Well, I saw the
spider bit coming.

Everybody's a critic.

It's not easy
to hold an audience's
attention these days.

To us and Charna's Guts.
To us and Charna's Guts.

Did you see that
fingernail moon tonight?

The first one
in 50 years.

Yes. I noticed it.

Look, Vincent's dead.

Murdered. Sucked dry
by one of them.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

They're after us, man.
They're after us.
They're after us!

Those damn Vampaneze!
They're gonna pick us off.

First Vincent,
then you, then me.

Why me before you?

Well, because I'm
the toughest, and they'll
save me for last.

Oh. Of course,
I forgot.

Well, what about
the Vampire Council?

They must have
something to say
about Vincent.

Yes. They say good riddance.
They're a bunch
of wimps now, Larten.

They'll do anything
to avoid a war
with the Vampaneze.

There are no real generals
left, hombre. You and I were
the last of the Mo-Freakins!

And to top it off,
Tiny's back.

Mr. Tiny?
Back from the other side?

Yes! Just last week
he was at the
Council Library,

messing with
the Book of Souls.

He's trying
to destroy us all!

Megalomaniac!
That man's a megalomaniac!

And those murderous,
scumbag Vampaneze,

they're up to something, too,
and it's all connected.

It's all connected.
I can feel it!

Come with me.
We can avenge old Vincent.

Kill us some Vampaneze!

No. I'm sorry.

No? Why?

I'm done fighting.

I left that life
for a reason.
I'm just a vaudevillian.

It's a simple life,
and I like it.

(PANTING)

Steve.

I know who you are.
I know what you are,
Vur Horsten.

Who sent you?
The Apocalypse Monger?
The Blood Barons?

No... No one. I...
No one sent me.
I just...

I have these vampire books,
and I saw a painting of him

with some girl in,
like, 1819.

It said that she broke up
with him when she found
he was a vampire.

(LAUGHING)

Did you hear
that, Gavner?

Missy broke up with me
because I was a vampire.

Funny, I always thought
it was the only thing
she liked about me.

Let the kid go.
Let him go.

Now, are you
mentally unfit?

Didn't you hear me
threaten you
at the show?

I did.
It was awesome.

You see, I want this.
I want you to make
me into a vampire.

I mean, vampires,
they don't take
crap from anybody.

They live by their
own set of rules.

It's true they do have
their own rules.
We wrote some of them.

Yes, and one of them
is children can't
become vampires.

Look, look, blood.

(GASPS)

Blood.

You see, Gavner,
blood.

Look, if you
become a vampire,

you have to leave
your friends
and your family.

It's deeply depressing.
Trust me.

Now get out of here.

I haven't seen
my dad in years.

My mom is drunk
all the time.

I absolutely hate my life.

I never actually
said it before,
but it's the truth.

This is what
I was meant for.

What you're
meant for?

Well, if that's the case,
let's test your blood.

No. No.

(SPITS)

Who sent you here?
Your blood tastes of evil.

(SPITTING)

You can never
be a vampire.

STEVE: What?

I have what, bad blood?

I'm never gonna
forget this.

One day, I promise you,
I will hunt you down.

And what?

Kill me?

Do you know how
easily I could kill you?
I could do it tonight.

I could knock you out
and lay you in front
of a bus,

and no one
would ever know!

Calm down. Save that
stuff for the enemy.
He's just an idiot kid,

who should be
leaving right now

while he still can.

(DOOR SLAMS)

(SIGHS)

You're out there, man.

All right.
One for the road.

I'm headed back
to the Mountain

to try to convince those
old cowards to stand up
against the Vampaneze.

Gavner, if we kill one
of them, it means war.

Wouldn't that
be a shame?

Poor old Vincent.

You've been awfully
quiet under there.

(SIGHS)

Get in.

(TAPPING)

(WHIRRING)

Thanks. Thanks,
I really needed a ride.

Oh, absolutely,
absolutely delighted.

(MURLAUGH GRUNTING)

Are you the one
known as Steve?

No, I'm the one
known as Darren.

I actually had a bike.

But I'll just get it
tomorrow in
the daylight.

No need.
It's in the trunk.

Now, if I
may ask, Darren,

do you believe
in the immutability
of the human soul?

The what?

So, he knows nothing
of souls, does he?

Knows only
of blood, huh?

The pulsing,
the delicious,
the ruby red.

(WHIRRING)

(GRINDING)

(CHUCKLES)

Wow, wow, you know what?
You can just let me off
right here.

What's the rush?

After all, didn't we
save you from the scary,
scary vampire?

Doesn't act like
leadership material.

Acts more like
a bag of blood.
Are you? Huh?

Bag of blood?

Shows how much
you know, Murlaugh.

I think he reeks
of potential.

Ow!
Sorry.

Souvenir.

We all have
a destiny, Darren.

And with a few
simple tests, we can
find out what yours is.

Wonderful to
meet you, Darren.

It's like looking
in a mirror.

Darren!

We'll be in touch.

(EXCLAIMS)

Freaky dream.
Freaky. Freaky.

Hey. Hey, I'm gonna try
to get you some food, okay?

Just hold on one sec.
I'm gonna go get some flies
from the window sill, okay?

Hey. Why have you
been acting so weird?

I'm not acting weird.

You were just talking
to your backpack.

What?

No, I wasn't.
Darren, yes, you were.

I wasn't.
Let me... Just let
me see it a second.

You see?
It's just my backpack.
Seriously, stop it.

Hey, give me my
backpack, man.
Hey, just let me see it.

Holy shit! That's...
That's the...

Yeah, I went back to
the theater after the show
and I kind of borrowed it.

You stole from a vampire?
Do you realize
you're a dead man?

Shh!
You're a dead man!

He's never gonna find me.

Okay, just...

Wait a second.
When did you go
to Vur Horsten's room,

and what did you see?

All right,
I saw everything.

Steve, are you crazy?
Why would you want
to become a vampire?

Listen, you can't
understand.
You have everything.

What do I have?
A secret best friend?

Hey, leave it
in there, okay?

It's fine.
I want to see it.

Be careful.
Hey, be careful, okay?
Be really careful.

(DARREN CLEARS THROAT)

This thing's even
more hideous close up.

Can you just put it
back now, please?

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

DARREN: Okay,
I need the pipe.

GIRL: I got a B-minus
in history.

DARREN: No!

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

Oh, my gosh,
what is that?

(WHISTLING)

(STUDENTS CLAMORING)

Move!

DARREN: Steve! Wait!

(SCREAMING)
What's going on?

STEVE: Move! Get out of
the way, idiots!

Watch out! Move!

Hey! Steve, don't!

Now I got you!
Hold still!

What's the matter with you?
Whose side are you on?

Hey! No! Hey!

GIRL: Guys, look,
it's in his shirt!

(STUDENTS SCREAMING)

Get it off me!

GIRL: Oh, my God!

(GRUNTS)

So what have you come
to steal from me
this time? Thief!

Nothing. Nothing.

Look, Octa bit my
best friend, Steve,
and he's in the hospital,

And I was wondering
if you had an antidote.

I do.

Thank you.

But I only have
a couple doses left.

Why should I waste any
on some little psychopath?

Please, I'm begging
you, okay?

Look, I'm really sorry
I stole Octa.

I don't know
what came over me.
I never steal things.

Why not?

Because it's wrong.

So then you've learned
a valuable moral lesson.

Yes, I have.

And you'll never do
anything wrong again,
as long as you live.

No, I won't.

You see? Now you're
a thief and a liar.

What did
Mr. Tiny want?

Mr. Tiny?

The fat man
in the limousine!

I don't know, something
about souls and...
And destiny.

And he knew
where I lived.

Looks like you're
in deep shit,
my larcenous friend.

Mr. Tiny doesn't just
take a random
interest in people.

And the people he does
take an interest in
wind up dead or worse.

What's worse than dead?

Oh.

Lots of things.

All right. I'll do it.
I'll make you a bargain.

You'll become my assistant.
I'll turn you into
a half vampire.

You'll be able to go out
in the daylight,
very useful for me.

You'll do chores for me
and guard my coffin
on the road.

And in return, I'll try
and keep Mr. Tiny
away from you.

Oh, and I'll save
your stupid friend Steve,

despite the fact that
he threatened to kill me.

You'll save Steve?

Why not?

If I became a half vampire,
would I have to kill people?

Interested, huh?

Vampires don't kill
the people they feed on.
Vampaneze do.

Big source of controversy,
war for about 80 years,
then a truce,

getting ugly again,
apparently.
But time's wasting.

Want to become a vampire?

It's a lonely life,
but there's lots of it.

I can't make that
decision right now.

Do you wanna go home
and ask your
mommy and daddy?

Do they make all the
decisions for good
little boys like you?

No, they don't.

Poor Steve doesn't
have much time left.

Fine, I'll do it.
To save my friend,
not for any other reason.

So get the antidote.

Right here.

Thank you.
Thank you so much.

First things first.

Let's test your blood.

What are you doing? I'm not
gonna bite you in the jugular.
I could kill you that way.

Show me your hands.

Ow!

Mmm.

You have good blood.
This will work. All right,
hold up your hands.

We're going
to exchange blood.

That's creepy.

I know. But that's
how it's done.

This may hurt when
it gets to your heart.

(HEARTBEAT ACCELERATING)

I feel cold.

Lick your fingers.

Whoa, is that like
vampire power?
Do I have super-spit now?

Yes, you have super-spit.
The rest will take a while.

The rest of what?
What will I be able to do?

Can I, like,
turn into a bat
and stuff?

No, that's bullshit.

Now hop on my back.
We're going to flit.

We're gonna what?

Just shut up
and hop on my back.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

(EXHALES)

(EXCLAIMS)

(GASPING)

You held your
breath, right?

Did I not tell you
to hold your breath?

(GRUNTS)
Oh...

Sorry.

Hold on.

Why didn't we just
take the elevator?

I get claustrophobic.

Strange, huh,
given where
I sleep every night.

But somehow when it's
my own confined space,
it's different.

He looks horrible.
Can you give him
the antidote, please?

She really
didn't like him.

DARREN: Be careful.

Hey, what are you doing?

Shh.

That's it, right?
He's gonna be better now?

That's it.

(ALARMS BEEPING)

(SIGHS)

You are insufferable.

Back! Stay back!

WOMAN ON PA: Code blue...

You have no idea
how ridiculous
you look right now.

Code blue...

All right. If you want
to pretend this isn't
happening, fine.

But being a vampire
takes skill.
What is a code blue?

Code blue, code blue...

Try not to do something
stupid like kill
your family.

Code blue, code blue,
room 519, stat.

You are not supposed
to be in here!

Code blue.
All available staff
please report to room...

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

BOY: It must have hurt.

Yeah, it hurt.

It wasn't...
It wasn't fun.

It's great
you're back.

Yeah.
We missed you.

Well, well, well,
Steve is back, huh?

So, Steve, what
you got for me?

Stay away from
those brownies.
They're for dessert.

Okay.
No brownies.

Next...

Hey, Darren, do you think
that this outfit looks
better on her, or this?

What's going on?

(HEART THUMPING)

You look weird.
Darren.

(ROARS)
Darren!

(SCREAMS)

Sorry.

Sorry, I...
I was just pretending
to be a vampire.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

CREPSLEY:
Nice room.

Some excellent
reading material
you have here.

Thought this was all
on the Internet now.

Mine's blocked.

Hmm.

(SNIFFLING)

Don't... No, don't
do that. Don't cry.

Honestly. Stop, stop.
No.

I'm not crying.

Of course not.
That's what...

Look, I don't want
to hurt people, okay?
I'm not like you.

I was this close away
from killing my sister.

Perhaps you should have
thought of that before
you stole my spider!

Look, I'm sorry,
but you can't stay here.

You're going to
have to leave them.

Like forever?

Like forever.

It's time to admit that
to yourself, Darren.

But you can't
just leave.

You're going to
have to die first.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

MR. SHAN: Hmm?

Hi. Hi.

Hey, I just wanted to say
that you guys are really,
really good parents.

You're doing a great job,
and I'm sorry for not
doing all my chores

and for complaining
so much.

And I love you
guys a lot.

We love you,
too, sweetie.

Bye, Annie.

How old were you
when you became
a vampire?

Twenty. It was 1803,
the third of May.

I'd just been left
by my fiancée,
Hesther Collins.

I thought she was
the most beautiful girl
in Baltimore.

I saw her again
60 years later.
She was an old crone,

but my heart still
beat like a jackrabbit.

Wow, dumped, huh?

So big, bad, old Crepsley
became a vampire
'cause he got dumped?

(LAUGHING)

Have you ever
been dumped?

Yeah.

Then perhaps
you should be
more sympathetic.

Here it is.
Drink up.

My lips are numb.

Good.

I've got pins and
needles in my hands.

Excellent.
That means
it's working.

Nice night,
actually.

Is that the Little Dipper
or the Big one?
I can never remember.

Sorry about that.

I had to do that or they
would never believe you
were dead. Don't worry.

There's no damage
to your spinal cord,

and I'll sneak into the
funeral home and fix
your broken neck.

Oh, and sorry about
this next part.

Darren,

I hate you so much
for leaving me here
with these idiots.

Darren.
Hey, Shan!

Asswipe, are you
in there? Darren!
Steve.

Okay, time out, time out.
Not about you.
We're all feeling grief.

Wake-y, wake-y.

Here.
Fill that hole.

I can't do that.
I'm all cramped up.
My legs are still numb.

Can you feel this?

Ow! What the heck?

(SNIFFING)

Do you smell
a rotting corpse?

Ha, ha, very funny.

Get back in the grave.

I'm not getting
back in the grave.

Don't argue
with me. Get in.

No.

(GASPS)

(CREPSLEY GRUNTING)

Hello, old friend.
Old Crepsley.
How's the scar?

Shall I give
you another?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

(MURLAUGH LAUGHS)

(DARREN EXCLAIMS)

Hello,
bag of blood.

You're coming with me.

(EXCLAIMING)

Run!

(SPITS)

You come with Murlaugh now.
You're one of us.

Not one of those
filthy vampires.

DARREN: (MUFFLED)
Let me go!

Where are we going?

(DARREN EXCLAIMS)

Hold your breath.

DARREN: What? No, no,
no, no, no, no.

(CAR HORN BLARING)

Let's go!

Not yet!

(HORN BLARING)

Don't look behind you.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
Are you all right?

Come here!

(PANTING)

Breathe.

GIRL 1: Right over
the plate!

GIRL 2: Oh, my God.

Do you know
those guys?

Are we there yet?

Almost.

(LAUGHTER ECHOING)

DARREN: Where are we?

CREPSLEY: The Cirque's
winter campgrounds.

You'll be safe here
if they let you stay.

Try to fit in.

Come on.

So all the freaks
live here?

Yes.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Don't stare.

MAN: It's really...

LOAF HEAD: You want to
go to my tent? You know,
we can rehearse in my tent.

GERTHA: I'm not gonna
rehearse in your tent.

It'll be great, you know.
You always have
fun in my tent.

Wait here for me.

MAN 1: Well, I was
thinking about it.

I mean, you're not
gonna be able to do
this forever, right?

MAN 2: If you set
everything up,
so I can just fill it out.

Neutral. The Cirque
has always
remained neutral.

That's how it has
survived all these years.

You'll still
be neutral.

I'm not trying to drag you
into anything. I'm trying
to keep myself out of it.

And why exactly
do you think Tiny
wants this boy?

I'm not sure yet.

But whenever Mr. Tiny
wants something,

I make it my policy to try
and keep him from it.

That's a
dangerous policy.

Hey, what are you doing?
That's Mr. Tall's tent.

Hi, I'm Darren.

What are you
doing here?

(LAUGHS)

That's what I'm trying
to figure out.

You can listen
if you want.

How much does
the boy know?

Nothing.

He's waiting by
my tent if you want
to speak with him.

You know, Larten, the thing
you might not realize
about children is,

they don't always do
what they're told!

Rebecca. Don't you
have work you
should be doing?

Yes. Sorry, Mr. Tall.
It won't happen again. I mean,
I don't eavesdrop on people.

It was his idea.

I didn't make you
do anything.

Well, you couldn't make me
do anything if you tried.

Oh, really, huh?

MR. TALL:
Enough. Rebecca,

I would like you
to take Darren
to Evra's tent.

Evra will be his roommate
while he stays with us.

You'll have to work, Darren.
Everybody here pitches in.

That's fine.

I actually worked for
my dad's office a couple
of weeks this summer.

I did photocopies, so...

This is on a temporary basis,
Larten. I can't endanger
everybody for your sake.

Of course.
Thank you.

So, what are you
doing here anyway,
with all these freaks?

Why? Do you have
a problem with freaks?

No, I mean, they kind
of freak me out, but...

They freak you out.
Clever, really clever.

Well, I really have to
get back to work.
Harkat can show you the way.

Harkat, take Darren
to Evra's tent, please.

(GRUMBLING)

Well, you better
follow him.

Okay, see you sometime.

(CHUCKLES)

No, I saw what you did
to my friend Steve's hand
at the theater, buddy.

(GRUMBLING)

Dude, I'm not giving
you my hand, okay?

(WHIMPERING)

I'm sorry. Here.

(SNARLS)

TRUSKA: Harkat!

You have to stop biting
people, or no one will
want to be around you.

You.

Death.

Redemption. Despair.

(EXCLAIMS)

Triumph. Disaster.

What did I say?

"Death, redemption,
despair, triumph,
disaster."

Well, don't worry about it.
Go ahead, Harkat.
Take him to Evra's.

And no more teeth.

(MOANS)

You mean, this is it?

EVRA: Chill in the
laundry for a sec.
There you go. Good girl.

Good snake. Love you.

(HISSING)

So, I guess we're
gonna be roommates.
So how are you f'd up?

F'd up?
Freaked up.

How... What kind
of freak are you?

Oh, I'm not a freak.
I'm normal.

You're normal?

No. I mean,
I'm half vampire,

but I'm completely
normal.

You're a half vampire,
but you're normal.

I like that.

And don't worry about,
like, if I'm gonna drink
your blood or anything.

I'm not gonna drink
anyone's blood.

What a relief.
Okay, this isn't
awkward at all.

This is your corner
of the tent. All right?

You do not cross over
to any other part
of the tent,

except to enter
and exit the tent.
All right?

And you are never, ever
to touch my stuff, especially
this stuff over here.

This is my
recording studio.

Oh, cool. Yeah, I...
I actually used to
have a drum set,

but, you know,
my parents made me
give it away, so...

Mmm.
Yeah.

Well, there are
no parents here.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh...

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

Yeah. Shedding,
itches like crazy.

You should actually
go wash your hand off
before you get pink eye.

(CLICKING TONGUE RAPIDLY)

Did you forget to tell me
you were going to go away
for a couple of days? Huh?

I can't believe you're
treating me like this.
I've been worried sick.

Why can't you just
get a cell phone?

Because vampires
don't need cell phones.

(SCOFFS) "Vampires don't
need this, vampires
don't need that."

I'll tell you what
vampires need.

They need to listen.
Didn't I tell you that
I had a foreboding?

And what do you do?
You show up here
with that kid.

It's been a long night.
I just flitted across
two states.

I think I'll just hit
the pine early.

No, wait.

You don't love me
anymore. It's my beard.

You know how I feel
about you. I just don't
want to outlive anyone.

It's depressing watching
people you care about grow
old while you stay young.

Have you looked
at yourself in the
mirror lately?

(CHUCKLES)

You're no kid.

Oh, no, no. I'm still
angry at you.
Mmm-mmm.

Mmm-mmm.

Your mouth says no,
but your beard says yes.

I can't believe
he's gone, man.

I know. He was
like my best friend.

No, he was
my best friend.

I knew him first.
So what?

I thought he
was a dick.

What?
What?

Dude.
Oh, my...

Here, get up before one
of the teachers see you.
That kid's psycho.

Mr. Leonard, what you
got for me here?
Finish the quiz already?

MR. TINY: Careful.
Whoa!

The first step
is a big one.

Oh, I know. You miss
the one known as Darren.

You feel betrayed,
abandoned.
You're a loyal friend,

unlike him.

Darren was
a loyal friend.

Oh, really?

What if I told you
he's still alive?
He's taken your place,

stealing your
dreams.
Oh, I know.

You dream of killing people,
drinking their blood.

You dream of leading
a great, bloodthirsty
army.

Who the hell are you?

I'm Mr. Tiny.

Are you a vampire?

No, I'm not a vampire.
I'm not a Vampaneze.

I'm an aficionado.

I want to see
a marvelous war.

What do you want
from me, you freak?

I'm not a freak.
I despise freaks.

Can a freak travel back
and forth between
life and death?

I think not.

Can a freak create
new life from rotting flesh
and dead souls?

Please.

Can a freak bring
about the apocalypse
and rule the world?

No.

Sadly, neither can I,
not without help.
I need a champion.

One of two boys,
two dear friends.

And by the way,
I love your DNA.

(EXHALES)

You care
for a pancake?

No, I can't. I'm...

We know
what you are.

You're bad news.
That's what.

(SCOFFS)

But nothing I couldn't
deal with in just
about two bites.

(CHOMPING)

Don't mind him.
He just needs
some Ex-Lax.

Welcome to
the Cirque.

Thank you.

Would you like to eat
one of my hands?
I can grow them back.

Yeah, they
are delicious.

Hey, Vampelina.

Come on, we gotta go
clean out Wolfie's cage,

and then Crepsley left,
like, a list of stuff
for you to do for him.

It looks like you're
Crepsley's bitch now.

Evra.
What?

(GROWLING)

Okay, so you guys
are gonna do it.
And go.

DARREN: I can't believe
the tiny people
eat these rats.

REBECCA: They'll eat you
if you don't watch out.

(EXCLAIMS)
Don't!

So where do you
come from anyways?

(GRUNTS)

(EXCLAIMS)

I guess I could probably,
like, open this up,

and you'd probably
turn into dust or
something, huh?

You wouldn't like
that now, would you,
Dracula?

Who's the boss
now, baby?

Okay. Concentrate now.
How hard can
it be to flit?

(GROANS)

Ow. Perfect.

(SHUDDERS)

What's the point?

I'm just not that
much of a freak.

Gertha, you're
a major freak.

Sorry, you're
not my type.

Do you ever
miss your family?

Not really.

I joined the Cirque
when I was two.
Two days old, that is.

Mr. Tall found me in
a dumpster. So I guess
this is my family.

(PLAYING GUITAR)

(SINGING) Dumpster baby,
oh, dumpster baby

I wanna be your
dumpster baby

No.

Hey, this is Steve.
You know what to do.

What are you doing?

Oh, nothing.

May I see it?

Yeah, I guess.

I've always wanted
one of these.

Hey! What are
you doing?

We must be very careful
who we talk to, Darren.

(CAR APPROACHING)

(ROARS)

(ALL MUTTERING EXCITEDLY)

(MAKING MONKEY CALLS)

Go to your tent
and stay there with Evra.

Yes. I have returned.

I have returned!

Unacceptable.
Unforgivable.
To blood a child?

(ACCUSING IN FRENCH)

By the way, is he drinking
enough blood?

He's not drinking
any blood.

Not drinking blood?

Crepsley, don't you know
he has to? He must.

Or perhaps you're worried
he'll love it too much.

He might be
Vampaneze at heart.

You'd like that.

You've been favoring them
for the last 100 years.

On the contrary,
I'm strictly neutral,
like the Cirque.

Correct, Mr. Tall?

Correct.

Then tell us
why you want him.

It's one of your
self-fulfilling prophecies,
isn't it?

Well, one does dream
of the cataclysm.

This truce may
not last forever.

There might be new leaders.
New blood, as it were.

Perhaps a boy,
a bloodthirsty boy.

It's all been written.

Then why do you care?
You're up to something,
Desmond.

Me? I may
write the script,

but the characters
have a tendency
to do as they please.

You, for example,
have an unseemly
amount of free will.

Now, Mr. Tall, will
you be reasonable
and give me the child?

I've always done
what you ask. I'm not
one to cause trouble.

But I need to think about
all this. I won't make
a decision hastily.

You know, I always
get what I want,
in the end.

(ALL CHATTERING)

MR. TINY: Keep an eye
on him, my pets.

Hey, dude. Sorry,
we're on our own today.

Rebecca's back in
the costume shop.

Hey.

I'm here for
Crepsley's cape.

It's that red one
with, like, the...

I know what Crepsley's
cape looks like.

What do your
friends want?

Hey! Beat it!

Does this trailer have,
like, a back entrance
or something?

Yeah, it's right back there.
Wait, your pants are ripped.

Take them off.
Try this pair on.

DARREN: They fit.

Yeah.

So, you know,
Rebecca, you...

You never really told me
what you're doing
here with the Cirque.

Well, Darren,
since you ask,

I'm a monkey girl.

You're a what?

What?

Nothing, I thought
you just said you
were a monkey girl.

Well, oh, yeah.

Yeah.

What does that mean?

It means I have a tail.
Do you have
a problem with that?

No, because...
'Cause you're
joking, right?

No, I'm not joking.
I keep it wrapped up because
people kept stepping on it.

Oh.

Yeah.

Anyway, your pants
look really good.

Yeah, I know.
You picked it out.
That's really good.

(YELPING)

Shush!

Thanks. They've been
spying on me all day.

So if you were interested
in a girl, okay,
and she had like...

Like a tail, let's say,
would that be
a problem or...

Well, I'll put it
to you this way.

If you had told me
a couple hundred
years ago

that I would someday
be dating a woman
with bristles on her chin,

I would have told you
you were insane.
But here we are.

By the way, there's
a new rule. You're not
to leave camp anymore.

Why not?

Because I said so.

(SCOFFS)

You're not my dad.
You can't just tell
me what to do...

CREPSLEY: When was
the last time you
were in a fight?

DARREN: Uh...
Second grade.

Steve's usually
the one that gets
in all the fights.

Well, Steve's not
here to fight for you.

And what if
I wasn't, either?

What if you were alone
in the dark and someone
wanted to kill you?

Rip out your heart
and drink its blood?

What then?

Crepsley?

Crepsley,
come on.

Crepsley?

You're hurting me.

What are you going
to do about it? Well?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

You're soft.
You're a soft
little boy.

They're looking
for you, Darren.
This is not the schoolyard.

You either have to learn
to fight or to run.
So which is it going to be?

Good. But don't use
your fist. You have
something better.

Use your fingernails
like a dagger. Watch.

Try it. Extend
your fingers and follow
all the way through.

Use all your strength.

Ow!

God, I think
I broke a nail.

You broke a nail?

You need blood.
We have a lot
of work to do.

Blood will have blood.

ALL: Blood will have blood.

Are you ready,
you filthy little pig,
to be stuck?

Do you renounce living
with the living?

Are you prepared
to die with the dead?

(WHIMPERS)

(SNARLS)

(BANGING ON DOOR)

Steve, what the hell
are you doing?

Well, hi,
Mr. Kersey.

I just wanted to
stop by real quick

and actually apologize
for the way, you know,

I've been acting
in school lately.

It's 3:00 a.m.

My teachers troubled
me when I was a lad.

They caned me
and caned me
till I was bloody.

(SNARLS)

Then one day, I took up
a broken switch,

and I rammed it in
my teacher's eyeball.

(MURLAUGH CHUCKLING)

Who are you?

I'm his mentor.

You see, Steve?

Ow!

This is what Crepsley
wants us to live with.

So, Mr. Kersey,
what you got for me?

So you really
don't kill people?

No, Darren.

You just sedate them
and feed a little bit,
and then leave.

I actually developed
the method.

Well, two other
vampires and I,
Gavner and Vincent.

We were the freaks
of the vampire world.
No one understood us.

And then they
started to realize

that if you don't kill
your prey every time
like a little piggy,

then you don't get hunted
down by irate townspeople
with pitchforks and torches.

And now half the vampires
feed this way, and the
other half hate us.

Quiet now.

(EXHALES)

DARREN: Whoa! How'd
you do that?

Vampires can exhale a gas
that knocks out humans.

Really?

Drink some blood,
you'll be able to do
all kinds of things.

Now, we just make a small
incision in his shoulder.
Right here.

And then you
take a sip.

Don't worry. He won't become
a vampire unless you
exchange blood with him.

Go ahead. I had some
a couple of days ago.
It's very refreshing.

No, I'm not gonna
drink human blood.

Hurry up, before
someone sees us.
We haven't got all night.

I'm not going to.

You have to drink blood,
Darren, or you'll die.
It's as simple as that.

Damn kid is gonna
get himself killed.

Larten, what made
you blood him?

I needed someone
to run errands for me.

Oh, come on,
you didn't need
to blood him for that.

I had a feeling if I didn't,
something terrible
would happen to him.

Something terrible?
As opposed to
becoming a vampire?

I think you're
getting lonely.

After 200 years of living
alone, why on earth would
I suddenly become lonely?

I don't know.
Midlife crisis?
What is it?

They're here.

(EXCLAIMS)

(GRUNTING)

REBECCA: Watch out!

(GASPING)

(GRUNTS)

That's not fair.
Back!

REBECCA: Darren,
get out of here!

CREPSLEY: Duck!

(SCREAMING)

CREPSLEY: Move.

Get in.

Psst.

(FLIES BUZZING)

(GROWLING)

(SNIFFING)

(ROARING)

(SCREAMING)

Hey! Hey!

Look, I don't even
like the Wolfman,

but that don't mean
you can come in here
and beat up on a freak!

You're messing
with the wrong
sideshow, baby!

I'll bite your
damn noses off!

I'm gonna ram
my head up your ass.

MR. TALL: Stop!

Stop!

There'll be
no fighting here.

How dare you enter this
campground? The Vampire
Council will hear of this.

Tell the little vampire
it's time to come home.

It's almost dawn. I have a
spare coffin here. I suggest
you get some rest as well.

Aren't we gonna, like,
double back and attack
them or something?

Do you want
to stay alive?

You're not even drinking
blood yet. I doubt you'd
be much good in a fight.

Well, what if they
hurt someone?

People can look
out for themselves.

You've been
looking out for me.

Why?

Why? Because I'm
an idiot, that's why.

Only an idiot would spit
in the eye of Mr. Tiny.

Because he doesn't
just kill people, he brings
them back, as well.

And when I finally die,
I plan on staying dead.

Life may be meaningless,
but death I still
have hope for.

Life isn't
meaningless.

Tell me that after 200 years
of it, kid. Good day.

(RATS SQUEAKING)

WOMAN 1: You know
I never liked him.

WOMAN 2: I never did,
either.

WOMAN 1: I told you
when I first saw him.

WOMAN 3: Should never
have let him in.

WOMAN 4: We all know
it's his fault.

WOMAN 5: I just can't believe
he has the nerve to
walk around in here.

WOMAN 6:
That poor Rebecca.

They took her?
Where?

I don't know,
but they said to tell
you to come home.

Which, of course, you're
not gonna do. Wait, Darren,
Darren. No, buddy.

Those guys are huge, man.

Hey, Mr. And Mrs. Shan.
Hey, Annie.

Steve. What are
you doing here?

Well, you know, I've been
thinking. You guys probably
really miss your son.

And my mom is drunk
half the time, so she doesn't
really notice I'm there.

How about you
guys adopt me?

(CLATTERING)

No interest?

Told you they
wouldn't go for it.

Hmm.

How disappointing.

So few "people" have
the parenting instinct
the way I do.

(EXHALES CONTENTEDLY)

Ready for the prom?

(SINGING) Make new friends,
but keep the old

One is silver
and the other's gold

Make new friends,
but keep the old

One is silver
and the other's gold

(GASPS)

(SQUEAKING)

(OCTA SQUEAKING)

Hey, Octa.
Say goodbye to
Crepsley for me, okay?

Tell him I'm sorry
but I have to go home.

(SIGHS)

It's time, isn't it?

Twenty-six.
Twenty-seven, 27.

Twenty-seven.

All right, no, no.
Twenty-eight.

May I borrow
a couple of these?

Don't forget to bring them
back, though. Both of them.

You're in danger,
terrible danger.

Your life and soul
are in jeopardy.

What did I say?

Nothing. Something
about the weather.

Chance of thunderstorms
tomorrow. Don't worry.
I'll stay indoors.

Applause! Applause!

Look. Little vampire.

(SNARLS)

Take a bow.

Where are my family
and my friends?

Please.

Must have patience.
Will spoil the show.

Do you like?
Does Murlaugh
have talent?

No? What do you
know about talent?

Where is Crepsley?

(SCOFFS)

Too bad for Crapsley.

Because he will
miss the show!

Here is freak all
wrapped up tight.

(WHIMPERS)

And here are beloved
family members.
Applause. Applause.

Hello, beloved son.
Hello, loving parents.

Hello, cute little sister.
Four bags of blood.

Don't worry.
You're all gonna be okay.

Will be better than okay.

Will be delicious!

But now, may I present

reunion with oldest friend
and blood brother,

with he that shall
one day rule us all,

the one known as Steve.

Thank you!
Thank you!

Steve.

You're alive?

You know, that was
really an asshole thing
for you to do.

Make your whole family
and your secret best friend
go through all that?

Look, I didn't mean
to hurt anybody, okay?

Who cares what
you meant to do?

What you did was
take my place.
That was my dream.

Steve, what are
you doing with him?

Who? Murlaugh?

Come on, man,
he's not as bad
as he looks.

You know, for one thing,
he didn't say I had
bad blood like Crepsley.

And for another thing,
he didn't lie to me.

And you know what?
They think I'm awesome.

They say I have a destiny,
or whatever. Look at you.

Who wants to be
a vampire anyways?
Vampires suck.

Vampaneze rule!

(WHIMPERING)
Juicy!

First guy I killed,
Mr. Kersey.

Blood just gets me going,
you know what I mean?

I wouldn't know.
I haven't been
drinking any.

I know you. Always trying to
look like Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes
all the time.

I bet you'll, like,
resist drinking blood

and resist drinking
and resist drinking it,

at the last second
become this total
bloodhound!

All right, man,
here's the deal.

See, the fat guy, he still
wants you on the team,
and despite everything else,

you are still my best friend.
So I'll tell you what,

I'll make you a deal
that might just
save your ass.

If you kill your family,
I'll let the freak go.

Wait. My bad,
that's backwards.

If you kill the freak,
I'll let your family live.

What? Let the
juicy one go?

Hey, look, man,
it's part of the plan.
Talk to Mr. Tiny.

So what do you say?

Just kill her.
Oh, yeah, you got
to drink her blood, too.

You can do her in
with this.

(STEVE GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

MR. TINY: Wait!

Allow him in,
gentlemen.

I want to see
this play out.

Man, that was pathetic.
You're totally weak.
You need some blood.

(DOOR OPENS)

Murlaugh.

Finally.

And we thought you
weren't gonna show.

(OCTA SQUEAKING)

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

(SCREAMS)

I hate spiders!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Darren. Come here.

Okay.

Is that your tail?

Well, yeah.

I'm really sorry I got
you involved in this,
okay? I...

Please stop staring.
So you really need blood?

Yeah.
All right.

Can you just take
a little? Go ahead.

I'm offering it to you.

Thanks. But I just
can't lose it.

What?

Whatever's still
making me human.

Darren, being human's
not about what you are.
It's about who you are.

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

(EXCLAIMS)

No.

(GROANING)

(GROANS)

(GROANING)

He's all yours, lad.

(STEVE GRUNTS)

Good.
Right in the heart.

So fair and foul a day
I have not seen.

My people aren't
weak like yours.

They will avenge me,
Crepsley.

(CHUCKLING)

The truce, 100 years,
is over.

The war begins.

(MR. TINY APPLAUDING)

Marvelous. Magnificent.

Really. Bravo. Bravo.

It's just like you said.
We started the war.

It won't start a war if
nobody hears about it.

(BOTH YELLING)

Young people today
are so difficult
to control.

I hate you.

I hate you!

I became a vampire
to save you, Steve.

Thanks.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Go ahead. Just do it!

That's enough, boys.

Steve, come with me.

Not before
I kick his...

You will behave!

It's not time
for you to fight.
Not yet.

What does that mean?

Oh, it's all written
down in a book.

You do read books,
don't you?

DARREN: Steve.

Look, don't...
Don't go.

What else am
I supposed to do, man?

Live with you
and a bunch of freaks?

It's too late now.

I have my destiny,
and you have yours.

How poignant.
The parting of
two dear friends.

Such sweet sorrow.

Then again, you will
come home to us
one day.

My prodigal son.

After all, you are
the bloodthirsty one.

No. Just because I'm
a vampire doesn't
mean I'm bloodthirsty.

It's not about what you are.
It's about who you are.

Oh.

I almost forgot.

(THUNDER CLAPPING)

Cover yourself.

You have to teach me
how to do that someday.

Oh, I'll teach you
everything, son.

All my gibes and gambols.
Now, ready to go
meet your people?

Bye, Annie.

DARREN: Will it work?
Hypnotizing them?

(SOFT SNORING)

It works on the memories,
but not on the emotions,
not really.

They'll always feel
that you're still alive,
somehow.

Well, that's good,
right?

Is it?

Hey, can I ask
you something?

Can I kiss you?

Darren, I let you
drink my blood.
Sure, you can kiss me.

Come on. We don't have
all night. I have
an injured spider here.

All right, how are we
going to do this?
I can't carry the both of you.

You carry Rebecca.
I can flit now.

Just like a real vampire.

Oh, Larten, you did it.

You stuck your
neck out for him.

You'd think a vampire
would know better than
to stick his neck out.

I am proud of you.

All those who vote
for making Darren

a member of the Cirque
raise your hands.

One hand, Evra.

Damn it.

It's done.
He will stay.

(ALL CHEERING)

So we get to stay.

Not for long,
I'm afraid.

You know, Crepsley,
it's okay.

It's weird. I spent so much
time wishing that none of
this would have happened

and that we never would
have been to the Cirque
in the first place.

But now I really can't
imagine my life
happening any other way.

Dawn's coming.

I had something
made for you.
It's in your tent.

A little gift.

And it's Mr. Crepsley.

Because you told
me to throw you.
Well, I'm sorry.

You did it, man.
Once a general,
always a general.

I couldn't have
done it better myself.

At nightfall,
we leave with the boy.

I suppose we
should tell him.

No, let's give him
one day to rest.
He's earned it.

DARREN: Sometimes
life does seem
all planned out,

like there's no choice
in the matter,

but that's an illusion.

Speakers. Tasty.

My name's Darren Shan,

and I don't just live
with a bunch of freaks.
I am one, too.