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1
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WANDA: Previously on WandaVision...
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,755
WANDA: We are an unusual couple, ya know?
3
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,343
My wife and her flying saucers.
4
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:12,054
My husband and his indestructible head.
5
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,890
Hello, dear.
I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right.
6
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,725
NORM: You're like a walking computer.
7
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,352
What? I most certainly am not.
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00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:21,271
VISION: Dinner with Mr. Hart
and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
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00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:22,356
MRS. HART: What brought you here?
10
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,733
-How long have you been married?
-ARTHUR: Why did you come here?
11
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,109
Damn it, why?
12
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,737
-MRS. HART: Stop it. Stop it.
13
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,573
Vision, help him.
14
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,826
Dihardsub oleh
bukan-layarkaca21.blogspot.com
15
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,703
-What was that?
-
16
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,421
Wanda?
17
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:28,505
Yes, dear?
18
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,175
Are you using your powers
to turn on the light?
19
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,634
-Yes, dear.
20
00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,469
Allow me, sweetheart.
21
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,101
WANDA: What do you see?
22
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,812
Only your lovely rose bushes.
23
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:45,856
That's all?
24
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,233
Are you using your night vision, Vision?
25
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,485
I assure you, my love,
I see nothing amiss.
26
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:52,821
You have absolutely
no reason to be frightened...
27
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:58,744
You were saying?
28
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,788
Actually, I did overhear
a couple of lads at work
29
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:04,958
remarking on a few unsavory characters
settling in the neighborhood.
30
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:08,003
Now, who knows
what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to?
31
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,255
Robbing houses, vandalizing property.
32
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:13,008
Walking through walls,
moving objects without touching them.
33
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,637
Wanda, darling, you can't be suggesting
my colleagues were referring to us.
34
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,644
One of us should really
determine the source of that sound.
35
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:26,480
Yes, one of us should.
36
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:27,648
Dihardsub oleh
bukan-layarkaca21.blogspot.com
37
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:29,483
Oh, this is getting ridiculous.
38
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,985
I'm going to take a look.
39
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,820
-Oh, God! Darling!
-
40
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,203
Well, I think we handled that well.
41
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,413
Yes, I must say
I'm rather proud of myself.
42
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:47,543
And look how you seized
on the opportunity to redecorate.
43
00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,212
-This is better, isn't it?
-Mmm.
44
00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,299
Wanda, darling?
45
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,551
Yes, dear?
46
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,261
Get the light.
47
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,072
WandaVision!
48
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,166
WandaVision!
49
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:43,098
WandaVision
Wa-WandaVision
50
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:45,642
WandaVision
Wa-WandaVision
51
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,687
WandaVision
Wa-WandaVision
52
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,398
WandaVision!
53
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:57,905
Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick,
54
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:02,284
I bring you the Cabinet of Mysteries.
55
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:07,706
-Darling, that's your cue.
-WANDA: You said, "Cabinet of Mysteries?"
56
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:11,293
I said, "The Cabinet of Mysteries."
57
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,087
WANDA: Oh, that's my cue. Ooh!
58
00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:16,507
Holy Toledo!
59
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:20,052
Darling, do all the other acts
in the talent show
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00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,346
have such elaborate props?
61
00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:24,556
Are you kidding?
62
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,225
Fred and Linda are building a moat
63
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:29,144
and a fully-functioning portcullis
and no one even knows why.
64
00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:30,312
Let's keep going.
65
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,356
Yes, yes. Where was I? Um...
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00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:36,068
Watch closely as I, Illusion,
Master of Enigma,
67
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:39,780
make my captivating assistant,
Glamour, disappear.
68
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,452
You really are very dashing.
69
00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:47,120
Mmm, thank you, darling.
70
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,206
Fear not, Glamour.
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00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:53,836
For I, Illusion,
vow to bring you back exactly as you are.
72
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,589
Abracadabra!
73
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,386
Ta-ta...
74
00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:09,685
Yes, um, Wanda, you're not at all worried
75
00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:13,730
that the audience might just see
through this little charade?
76
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,399
Well, that's the whole point.
77
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,860
In a real magic act, everything is fake.
78
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:23,532
Darling, the talent show fundraiser
is the most important event of the season
79
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:26,410
and it's our neighborly duty
to participate.
80
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:29,997
Plus, it's our chance to appear
as normal as possible while doing so.
81
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,457
Well, I don't think
that should be a problem.
82
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:34,710
This is our home now.
83
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:38,213
I want us to fit in.
84
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:41,842
Oh, darling, we do. We shall.
85
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,179
And we're gonna knock their socks off,
86
00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:49,474
especially with you wearing this.
87
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,685
Oh, that's actually
the rest of your costume.
88
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,769
Oh!
89
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,064
Well, I better get going
90
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,275
If I'm gonna make
the planning committee meeting.
91
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,943
That's me off as well, actually.
92
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,987
There's a gathering
of the neighborhood watch
93
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,655
at the public library.
94
00:06:03,739 --> 00:06:05,949
And after last night's excitement,
95
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,369
I want to make sure
this town's security is up to snuff.
96
00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,079
That's a swell idea.
97
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:15,250
You tell those tree branches who's boss.
98
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:17,961
Would you look at us?
99
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,923
Wanda and Vision, Westview fitter-inners.
100
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:24,885
I'll see you at curtain call.
101
00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:38,834
Look, it's the star o' the show.
102
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,002
Agnes.
103
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,963
I'm sorry. What did you say?
104
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:46,133
Oh, I brought my pet rabbit.
For your magic act.
105
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:50,429
Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes.
106
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,307
We will take good care of him.
107
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:56,059
Señor Scratchy just loves the stage.
108
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:59,396
He played baby Jesus
in last year's Christmas pageant.
109
00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,106
Oh.
110
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,110
Oh, morning, Dennis.
111
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,612
Morning, Agnes.
112
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:07,779
Stick 'em up.
113
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,991
Don't shoot. I'm just a messenger.
114
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,743
Pew-pew!
115
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,204
Mmm.
116
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,458
-Shall we?
-Oh, we shall.
117
00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:28,467
So, are you ready to meet Queen Cul de Sac
and her Merry Homemakers?
118
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,761
Agnes,
Dottie can't be as bad as you say.
119
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:34,973
Hmm, well, you'll notice
her roses bloom under penalty of death.
120
00:08:37,142 --> 00:08:41,396
Wanda, can I give you
a bit of friendly advice?
121
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,190
Is it about the way how I'm dressed?
122
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,234
Yes, but it's too late for that.
123
00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:49,446
Dottie is the key
to everything in this town.
124
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,950
Country club memberships, parties,
school admissions...
125
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,244
Well, let's not
get ahead of ourselves.
126
00:08:55,327 --> 00:08:58,914
You get in with Dottie and it'll be
smooth sailing from here on out.
127
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:02,584
Just mind your P's and Q's
and you're gonna do just fine.
128
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:05,754
Or maybe I could just be myself?
More or less?
129
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,595
Oh, Wanda, that's good.
130
00:09:15,931 --> 00:09:18,475
Everybody, hurry up please.
131
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,271
Hiya, Dottie! Your roses are divine.
132
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,690
Well, thank you.
133
00:09:33,282 --> 00:09:36,660
The Rotary Club is finishing
the stage set-up as we speak.
134
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,037
They've given the gazebo
a fresh coat of paint
135
00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:42,958
and will be installing the final
decorations all through the town square.
136
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,918
And if you recognize
the antique footlights,
137
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,129
it's because they're from my store.
138
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:48,714
And the chairs?
139
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,927
I'm sorry, Dottie.
I didn't ask about the chairs.
140
00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:57,973
So you better not ask me if you can
chair any committees in the future.
141
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,478
The devil's in the details, Bev.
142
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,939
That's not the only place he is.
143
00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:08,150
DOTTIE: As you all know, the talent show
144
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:11,069
is the sole fundraiser
for Westview Elementary.
145
00:10:11,153 --> 00:10:12,196
This might help.
146
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,907
DOTTIE: In the eight years
since I founded our little club,
147
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:18,243
this event has gotten
bigger and better every season.
148
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:21,121
Say, those pants are peachy keen.
149
00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:22,748
Do you really think so?
150
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,083
The other ladies are in skirts.
I was worried.
151
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,169
We only have a few hours until show time,
152
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,422
so a little less cross chatter
and a little more focus.
153
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,424
Okay.
154
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:35,469
DOTTIE: Those little boys and girls
are counting on us.
155
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,347
All of this is for the children.
156
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:39,765
WOMEN: "For the children."
157
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,392
"For the children."
158
00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:49,816
So, I want you all
to give yourselves a big hand...
159
00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:55,447
...at the appropriate time, of course.
160
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:58,992
But first let's review event etiquette.
161
00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,954
Dress code is upscale garden party...
162
00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:05,123
The only reason I didn't clap
is because I'm afraid to move.
163
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,291
Yeah.
164
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:08,627
I actually don't know what I'm doing here.
165
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,922
I'm starting to feel that way myself.
I'm Wanda.
166
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:16,260
-I'm, uh... Geraldine.
-Hi.
167
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,303
And I'm irritated.
168
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,101
Tickets for tonight
are completely sold out.
169
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,019
Now, you can clap.
170
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,273
And stop.
171
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,360
Really, how is anybody doing this sober?
172
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,247
-Let's say green.
-NORM: Yeah.
173
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,082
I mean, the other side could be dirt.
174
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,877
Pardon me.
Is this the neighborhood watch meeting?
175
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,422
NORM: Oh, hiya, Vision.
176
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:55,549
Didn't expect to see you here.
177
00:11:56,842 --> 00:12:00,762
This is sort of
a "members only" type deal.
178
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,640
Ah! Certainly. Right. Well...
179
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,852
I'll just stay here
and be as quiet as a church mouse
180
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,062
till you open up the floor
for new business.
181
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:12,149
Well, in truth,
we were just getting to new business.
182
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:15,194
Oh, splendid! Could you tell me
how often you rotate security patrols?
183
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,696
Do you interface directly
with local law enforcement?
184
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,032
What are your protocols for threats
such as burglary,
185
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,450
graffiti, and reckless driving?
186
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:24,536
-No, Vision.
-I know these are indeed grave matters.
187
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:27,998
"New business"
actually means another round of Danish.
188
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:31,543
Raspberry or cheese-filled?
189
00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,962
Oh, neither for me, thank you.
I don't eat food.
190
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:44,223
What I mean to say is that I don't eat
food in between meals but at mealtimes.
191
00:12:44,848 --> 00:12:46,892
I'm a regular eating machine.
192
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:52,314
Hey, fellas.
Vision here has got a point.
193
00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:56,276
Now, listen up. I got some
top secret intelligence for you.
194
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:57,402
Oh, excellent.
195
00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,905
Now, you know
how Johnson's been braggin'
196
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,782
about that treehouse
he built for his kids?
197
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:02,991
Yeah.
198
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,077
It's a prefab job.
199
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,664
That blockhead can't even swing a hammer.
200
00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:10,624
I can do you one better.
201
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,126
You know those bowling trophies
Arthur's always polishing?
202
00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:17,339
He bought 'em all
at a yard sale in Hackensack.
203
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,342
I knew it. I've never once seen him
down at the lanes.
204
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,472
I too have
some top secret gossip to share.
205
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,102
Norm here's a Communist.
206
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,155
Vision, you're a real cut-up.
207
00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:44,533
You know, I always
thought you were kind of a square.
208
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:48,078
-Me? No, I'm as round as they come.
209
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:51,081
Hey, care for a stick o' Big Red?
210
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,833
Well, hold on there a second.
211
00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,210
Didn't you hear the man?
He doesn't eat food.
212
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:56,837
Is gum food?
213
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,548
Well, my understanding
is that it's purely for mastication.
214
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:01,967
No, I don't do that.
215
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,888
Well, when in Westview... Cheers.
216
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,308
Who knew you were such a funny guy?
217
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:13,896
And to think you came here all hot
and bothered about protocols and nonsense.
218
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:15,939
We actually thought you were serious.
219
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:28,035
He's funny.
All right, so, back to this barbeque.
220
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:38,212
That is why you never do
a seating chart on an empty stomach.
221
00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:41,340
Golly, you're a whiz
at all this committee stuff, Dottie.
222
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:45,594
Thank you for choosing me to help
you clean up today. I feel so lucky.
223
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,221
You are.
224
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,769
I can't help but wonder if you and I
225
00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,188
haven't gotten off
on the wrong foot, Dottie.
226
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:59,691
And I would like to correct that if I can.
227
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:01,485
And how would you do that?
228
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:07,074
I've heard things about you.
229
00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:11,203
You and your husband.
230
00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:15,249
Well, I don't know what you've been told,
231
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:21,672
but I assure you
I don't mean anyone any harm.
232
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,259
I don't believe you.
233
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:34,309
Wanda. Wanda, can you read me, over?
234
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,437
-Wanda?
-Who is that?
235
00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:38,730
Wanda?
236
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,611
Who are you?
237
00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:47,155
Wanda?
238
00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:49,199
Wanda.
239
00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:51,869
Who is doing this to you, Wanda?
240
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:55,539
Wanda? Wanda? Wan...
241
00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:00,961
WANDA: Dottie!
242
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:07,050
You... Oh!
243
00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,225
Pop quiz, Wanda.
244
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:19,688
How does a housewife
get a bloodstain out of white linen?
245
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,525
By doing it herself.
246
00:16:32,117 --> 00:16:37,289
MAN: They say a man is never fully-dressed
without two important accessories.
247
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:39,041
His special lady...
248
00:16:41,543 --> 00:16:43,712
and his Strücker.
249
00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:52,763
Strücker. He'll make time for you.
250
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:12,616
Glad I don't have to follow this guy.
251
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,243
Huh? What?
252
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:16,370
Oh, but you're gonna be great.
253
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,290
What time is it now?
254
00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:22,584
Mmm, two minutes
after the last time you asked.
255
00:17:23,836 --> 00:17:25,462
I don't know where he could be.
256
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,219
-Oh, is that him?
257
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,556
Well, it looks like
he's got a little hitch in his giddy-up.
258
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:36,932
Whoa!
259
00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:44,648
Wanda, my little cabbage,
you look smashing!
260
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,149
-Whoa!
261
00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:50,779
-WANDA: Vis.
-Hmm.
262
00:17:50,863 --> 00:17:52,197
-Where have you been?
-Oh.
263
00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:54,741
Uh, well, me and the boys were playing
264
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:57,619
a rather thrilling
game of horses with shoes.
265
00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:58,871
No, that's not it.
266
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:00,831
Shoe horses! No.
267
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,791
Ah! Horse's shoes.
268
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:07,004
Listen, something strange
happened with Dottie.
269
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:11,967
Well, something strange happened
before that, too. It's hard to explain.
270
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:14,553
I was just playing with his shoes.
271
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,263
What is going on?
272
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:17,431
You are!
273
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,724
Huh?
274
00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:22,227
I want to thank you all for coming out
275
00:18:22,311 --> 00:18:26,607
to support Westview Elementary,
"For the children."
276
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,901
ALL: "For the children."
277
00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:30,194
And for our final act...
278
00:18:30,277 --> 00:18:34,198
I give you, Wanda and Vision.
279
00:18:51,757 --> 00:18:53,300
Hey! Hey! You're up, Cowboy!
280
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:55,511
What?
281
00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,472
Oh! Yeah! I've to go!
282
00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:02,684
Hello, Westview! Good afternoon.
283
00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:04,102
It's so lovely to be...
284
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,647
I'm so sorry. Excuse me.
285
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,942
I am Glamour and this
is my delightful assistant, Illusion.
286
00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:14,321
I am Glamour and he's Illusion.
287
00:19:15,906 --> 00:19:17,407
Yeah, what she said.
288
00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:23,622
Today, we will lie to you and yet
you will believe our little deceptions
289
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,541
because human beings are easily fooled
290
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:29,670
due to their limited understanding
of the inner workings of the universe.
291
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,129
Flourish!
292
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,257
You just do it,
you don't say it out loud, honey.
293
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:38,387
And now my wife and I will delight
294
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:41,098
in your dumbstruck little faces.
295
00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:43,767
Flourish!
296
00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:00,993
Ha! See there? He's using a rope.
297
00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:05,330
Wanda, what's... Oh, no!
Oh! No! Wanda, please!
298
00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:08,166
-Darling, let me down!
-Oh!
299
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:12,004
-I'm feeling pukey!
300
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,422
VISION: Ooh!
301
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:18,594
Uh, what's next?
302
00:20:18,677 --> 00:20:21,930
Oh! Yeah, this is...
This is gonna be great!
303
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:25,100
A staggering feat of strength.
304
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:34,067
-Ah?
-Illusion... Uh... Uh...
305
00:20:35,194 --> 00:20:39,865
-Illusion, Master of Enigma, allow me.
-Yeah?
306
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,284
-What?
307
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:44,745
-Oh!
308
00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:49,291
Whoops! You weren't supposed to see
how we did that trick.
309
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:53,295
That was my grandmother's piano.
310
00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:58,342
Oh, Sherbert! Yeah,
this is my old mate, Sherbert.
311
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,761
Stand up, Sherbert.
Say hello to the crowd.
312
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,429
It's Herbert, Herb.
313
00:21:02,513 --> 00:21:06,517
Pipe down, Sherbie, and pick a card.
Any card.
314
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,061
Yeah, put it back in the deck.
315
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:12,231
I'm not looking. All right. Watch this.
316
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:15,984
Is this your card?
317
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:18,529
Uh, no.
318
00:21:19,363 --> 00:21:20,739
I beg to differ.
319
00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:21,907
Mmm-mmm.
320
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,660
Really? Is this your card?
321
00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,870
-Vision...
-Mmm-mmm.
322
00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:31,250
Is this your card? Is this your card?
Is this your card? Is this your card?
323
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:34,461
-Is this your card?
-Mmm-mmm.
324
00:21:34,545 --> 00:21:36,505
Argh! Is this your card?
Is this your card?
325
00:21:36,588 --> 00:21:37,798
-No. No. No. No.
-Is this your card?
326
00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:40,926
Is this your card? Is this your card?
Is this your card? Is this your card?
327
00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:42,219
Is this your card?
328
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:43,512
Oh, it is!
329
00:21:43,595 --> 00:21:44,680
It is what?
330
00:21:44,763 --> 00:21:45,931
It's my card.
331
00:21:46,557 --> 00:21:49,351
Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back.
332
00:21:50,602 --> 00:21:51,937
Oh, no, you did the trick right.
333
00:21:52,020 --> 00:21:54,565
Well, of course I did the trick right!
I'm Illusion!
334
00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:56,567
Flourish!
335
00:22:00,028 --> 00:22:01,905
And now, for my next trick...
336
00:22:01,989 --> 00:22:03,615
Oh, goodness me.
337
00:22:04,408 --> 00:22:05,951
Who stole my hat?
338
00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:07,953
Oh! Oh, stop that rabbit!
339
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:10,330
I gotta need to pull a hat out of it.
340
00:22:11,623 --> 00:22:14,960
Señor Scratchy's got real star quality,
don't you think?
341
00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:18,505
Maybe we leave the poor bunny
out this one, shall we?
342
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:21,300
Well then,
I will just have to pull this hat...
343
00:22:22,593 --> 00:22:24,386
...out of myself.
344
00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:28,015
Vision, no.
345
00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:29,474
I'm doin' it.
346
00:22:31,810 --> 00:22:33,604
Ah-ha!
347
00:22:36,732 --> 00:22:40,360
-If only you all knew our secret.
348
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:43,864
-Oh!
349
00:22:43,947 --> 00:22:45,824
Is that how mirrors work?
350
00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:47,159
Shut up, Bev.
351
00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:52,706
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
for our grand finale.
352
00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:57,836
I bring you, The Magnet of Crysteries!
353
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,296
The Cabinet of Mysteries!
354
00:22:59,379 --> 00:23:01,715
VISION: Yeah, yeah. What she said.
355
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:05,427
I will now make my wife...
356
00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,472
...disappear.
357
00:23:10,599 --> 00:23:15,479
Are you sure you don't want an audience
volunteer named "My husband Ralph?"
358
00:23:21,026 --> 00:23:22,986
No. Abracadabra!
359
00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:28,325
-Uh, sweetheart?
-Yeah?
360
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,161
-Hi.
-Oh.
361
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,082
What's in the box?
362
00:23:35,165 --> 00:23:38,752
What's in the box?
What's in the box? What's in the box?
363
00:23:38,836 --> 00:23:40,671
Yeah, what's in the box?
364
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,923
What's in the box?
What's in the box?
365
00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:46,134
What's in the box?
What's in the box?
366
00:23:52,933 --> 00:23:53,976
Oh!
367
00:23:54,977 --> 00:23:56,186
Oh, yes!
368
00:23:56,270 --> 00:23:57,354
Flourish.
369
00:24:04,695 --> 00:24:06,196
Let's get outta here.
370
00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:08,740
Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
371
00:24:08,824 --> 00:24:10,576
-I'm so stupid.
-Vis? Vis, it's all right.
372
00:24:10,659 --> 00:24:12,369
It's all right.
It's all right. It's all right.
373
00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:13,787
But what is going on with you?
374
00:24:13,871 --> 00:24:17,916
I have no idea.
I've been feeling weirdy all day.
375
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,668
Okay. Okay. Okay.
376
00:24:20,419 --> 00:24:22,838
-Oh!
377
00:24:31,972 --> 00:24:34,391
Would you look at that?
378
00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:36,643
That really gummed up my works, didn't it?
379
00:24:36,727 --> 00:24:38,353
-WANDA: Hmm.
380
00:24:40,022 --> 00:24:42,524
I'm not as funny without it, am I?
381
00:24:42,608 --> 00:24:45,277
Well, you're back to yourself
and that's all I care about.
382
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,404
Now, let's get out of here before Dottie
383
00:24:47,487 --> 00:24:50,949
and the planning committee
string us up for ruining the show.
384
00:24:59,291 --> 00:25:01,919
You two, stop right there.
385
00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:09,092
Nothing like what you two just did up here
386
00:25:09,176 --> 00:25:12,888
has ever happened
in the history of our talent show.
387
00:25:14,014 --> 00:25:17,476
Dottie, we are so...
388
00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:18,685
Hilarious.
389
00:25:21,688 --> 00:25:25,108
That was the most hilarious act
we've ever seen.
390
00:25:25,192 --> 00:25:26,443
Wouldn't you all agree?
391
00:25:27,194 --> 00:25:28,362
Yeah.
392
00:25:30,531 --> 00:25:32,324
Oh, yes.
393
00:25:32,991 --> 00:25:34,785
You two, come on up. Come on.
394
00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:40,165
On behalf of the planning committee,
395
00:25:40,249 --> 00:25:41,458
I would like to award you
396
00:25:41,542 --> 00:25:45,546
with the inaugural
Comedy Performance of the Year.
397
00:25:45,629 --> 00:25:47,047
Oh, thank you.
398
00:26:03,063 --> 00:26:04,606
-I have to ask.
-VISION: Hmm.
399
00:26:04,690 --> 00:26:09,027
One second, I'm backstage and in the next,
I'm in a dark cubby hole.
400
00:26:09,111 --> 00:26:10,404
How'd you do it?
401
00:26:10,487 --> 00:26:12,531
Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets.
402
00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:14,324
He leaves that to his assistant.
403
00:26:14,408 --> 00:26:15,993
And she's not talking.
404
00:26:17,244 --> 00:26:20,163
-I had a feeling you'd say that.
405
00:26:24,168 --> 00:26:25,252
"For the children!"
406
00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:27,546
AUDIENCE: "For the children!"
407
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,929
You were tremendous, Glamour.
408
00:26:36,013 --> 00:26:38,640
As were you, Illusion.
409
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,896
I don't know what I was so worried about.
410
00:26:43,979 --> 00:26:47,399
It wasn't so hard to fit in after all.
411
00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:50,402
And all we had to do was be ourselves.
412
00:26:50,485 --> 00:26:52,863
Well, with a few modifications.
413
00:26:53,488 --> 00:26:56,700
-And it was all for the children.
-For the children.
414
00:26:57,534 --> 00:26:59,995
Well, I think the children
might need some popcorn.
415
00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:02,456
Wanda.
416
00:27:02,539 --> 00:27:03,707
Hmm, what?
417
00:27:08,420 --> 00:27:11,798
Vision... Is this really happening?
418
00:27:14,927 --> 00:27:16,470
Yes, my love.
419
00:27:16,553 --> 00:27:18,263
It's really happening.
420
00:27:20,599 --> 00:27:25,729
If it's that damn tree again,
I am going to rip it out by the roots!
421
00:27:33,070 --> 00:27:34,696
I don't see anything.
422
00:27:46,917 --> 00:27:48,126
What is that?
423
00:27:55,634 --> 00:27:57,219
Wanda.
424
00:28:11,942 --> 00:28:13,193
No.
425
00:28:22,202 --> 00:28:26,707
Vision... Is this really happening?
426
00:28:28,417 --> 00:28:29,877
Yes, my love.
427
00:28:31,378 --> 00:28:33,005
It's really happening.
428
00:28:46,268 --> 00:28:47,269
Vision...
429
00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:23,889
- Wanda?
- Who's doing this to you, Wanda?
430
00:29:24,598 --> 00:29:25,641
Wanda?
29555
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