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1
00:00:00,821 --> 00:00:02,454
I had glasses
when I was 10 years old.
2
00:00:02,487 --> 00:00:05,476
Anybody beat that? Anybody
got 'em younger than that?
3
00:00:05,509 --> 00:00:07,790
WOMAN: Seven.
Seven?
4
00:00:07,823 --> 00:00:09,056
Two?
5
00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:11,156
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
6
00:00:13,156 --> 00:00:16,623
Anybody born with glasses?
Come out...
7
00:00:16,656 --> 00:00:18,790
Actually come out
of the birth canal and go,
8
00:00:18,823 --> 00:00:20,456
"That was a hell
of a delivery,
9
00:00:20,490 --> 00:00:21,556
"I'll tell you that.
10
00:00:21,590 --> 00:00:25,490
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
11
00:00:25,523 --> 00:00:28,223
"Can I clean these?
12
00:00:28,256 --> 00:00:30,000
"Does anybody have one
of those little cloths?
13
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,423
"Does anybody have one
of those little cloths?
14
00:00:30,456 --> 00:00:33,590
"I was just born.
They're a little...
15
00:00:33,623 --> 00:00:35,023
Little smudgy."
16
00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:41,956
Mmm!
17
00:00:41,990 --> 00:00:42,956
Fantastic.
18
00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:44,323
I told ya.
How good is this?
19
00:00:44,356 --> 00:00:45,756
It's good.
How good?
20
00:00:45,790 --> 00:00:47,090
Very good.
I know it.
21
00:00:47,123 --> 00:00:49,623
They put real blueberries
in this. Real blueberries
22
00:00:49,656 --> 00:00:51,056
What kind did you get?
Coffee.
23
00:00:51,090 --> 00:00:52,990
They grind up the coffee beans
and put it in!
24
00:00:53,023 --> 00:00:54,423
Let me test-taste that.
25
00:00:54,456 --> 00:00:56,056
Huh? Huh?
26
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,923
Mmm! !¡Qué rico!
27
00:00:57,956 --> 00:01:00,390
Suave.
28
00:01:00,423 --> 00:01:01,823
And it's nonfat.
29
00:01:01,856 --> 00:01:03,556
See, how could this
not have any fat?
30
00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:04,490
It's too good.
31
00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:05,490
You wanna taste mine?
32
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:06,578
Oh, you wanna taste mine.
33
00:01:06,578 --> 00:01:06,956
Oh, you wanna taste mine.
34
00:01:06,990 --> 00:01:08,056
No, I don't.
35
00:01:08,090 --> 00:01:09,290
If you wanna taste mine,
36
00:01:09,323 --> 00:01:11,490
you don't have to offer me
some of yours.
37
00:01:11,523 --> 00:01:14,223
All right,
let's just forget it.
38
00:01:14,256 --> 00:01:15,956
Kramer's gonna
clean up on this place.
39
00:01:15,990 --> 00:01:16,956
What do you mean?
40
00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:17,956
He invested in it.
41
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,056
No kidding.
42
00:01:19,090 --> 00:01:20,756
Yeah, we've been coming
here everyday.
43
00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:23,823
This is so [BLEEP] good!
44
00:01:24,456 --> 00:01:25,456
Jerry!
45
00:01:26,823 --> 00:01:28,523
Oh, I'm sorry.
46
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,423
That's nice.
47
00:01:31,456 --> 00:01:32,890
All right,
we should get goin',
48
00:01:32,923 --> 00:01:35,356
but I'm going to get
a little bit more, okay?
Yep.
49
00:01:36,990 --> 00:01:39,056
Oh, God,
look who's here.
50
00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:40,090
Who is it?
51
00:01:40,123 --> 00:01:41,890
This guy from
my old neighborhood,
52
00:01:41,923 --> 00:01:43,223
Lloyd Braun.
53
00:01:43,256 --> 00:01:45,290
He's a big adviser
to Mayor Dinkins.
54
00:01:45,323 --> 00:01:47,790
He thinks he's so cool.
Ah, really?
55
00:01:50,023 --> 00:01:52,223
Hey, George!
56
00:01:52,256 --> 00:01:53,490
Hey!
57
00:01:53,523 --> 00:01:54,823
Lloyd!
58
00:01:54,856 --> 00:01:56,723
Hey!
59
00:01:56,756 --> 00:01:57,723
My friend Jerry.
60
00:01:57,756 --> 00:01:58,990
Hi.
Hi.
61
00:01:59,023 --> 00:02:01,690
So I hear you're living back
home now or something?
62
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,456
Yeah, there was a fire
in my apartment.
63
00:02:06,790 --> 00:02:08,390
Fire, huh? Hmm.
64
00:02:08,423 --> 00:02:10,523
There's a lot of major chicks
in this place, huh?
65
00:02:13,156 --> 00:02:14,623
Something wrong
with your arm?
66
00:02:16,690 --> 00:02:17,723
Uh...
67
00:02:17,756 --> 00:02:20,790
Uh, yeah,
actually.
68
00:02:20,823 --> 00:02:23,056
I-I bumped my elbow
on a desk
69
00:02:23,090 --> 00:02:24,823
and, uh,
injured something.
70
00:02:24,856 --> 00:02:27,656
And...now it sort of
moves involuntarily.
71
00:02:29,590 --> 00:02:32,156
Wow. That's
a bitch, huh?
72
00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:33,623
So how are
your parents doing?
73
00:02:33,656 --> 00:02:34,990
Oh, pretty good.
74
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:38,990
This place does
some business, huh?
75
00:02:39,023 --> 00:02:42,456
Yeah, this is
my first time here.
76
00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:44,123
Hey, she's a doll.
77
00:02:44,156 --> 00:02:45,923
Hi.
78
00:02:45,956 --> 00:02:46,956
Hello.
79
00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:48,390
Uh, Elaine,
this is Lloyd.
80
00:02:48,423 --> 00:02:49,423
Hi.
81
00:02:49,456 --> 00:02:50,890
Oh, hi. Very nice
to meet you.
82
00:02:50,923 --> 00:02:52,490
Nice to
meet you too.
83
00:02:52,523 --> 00:02:54,956
[CHUCKLES]
[GIGGLES]
84
00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:56,656
Well, I'm really sorry
I gotta run now.
85
00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:57,690
Oh...
[GIGGLES]
86
00:02:59,256 --> 00:03:00,623
Well, take it easy,
huh, George?
87
00:03:00,656 --> 00:03:01,723
Yeah, yeah.
88
00:03:01,756 --> 00:03:02,723
Bye-bye.
89
00:03:02,756 --> 00:03:03,723
Bye.
90
00:03:03,756 --> 00:03:04,756
[GASPS]
91
00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:06,578
Boy, he is really cute.
92
00:03:06,578 --> 00:03:08,656
Boy, he is really cute.
93
00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:09,656
He's a jerk.
94
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:10,756
He's gone,
George.
95
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:12,290
All right,
all right.
96
00:03:16,323 --> 00:03:17,990
So there were a lotta
people there, huh?
97
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,323
Oh, man,
that yogurt place--
98
00:03:19,356 --> 00:03:20,923
You're gonna
make a fortune.
Yeah.
99
00:03:20,956 --> 00:03:22,490
They're doing
incredible business.
100
00:03:22,523 --> 00:03:23,490
I told you
to go in on it.
101
00:03:23,523 --> 00:03:24,623
How did you know?
102
00:03:24,656 --> 00:03:26,456
Well, I tasted it
at the one downtown.
103
00:03:26,490 --> 00:03:27,956
It's got
a remarkable texture.
104
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,756
You'd never know
it was nonfat.
105
00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:32,256
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
106
00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:34,990
Yeah?
107
00:03:35,023 --> 00:03:36,090
ELAINE:
Me.
108
00:03:36,123 --> 00:03:36,578
Uh.
109
00:03:36,578 --> 00:03:37,423
Uh.
110
00:03:37,456 --> 00:03:39,723
Hey, I had the show
of my life last night.
111
00:03:39,756 --> 00:03:41,223
I ad-libbed, like,
10 new minutes.
112
00:03:41,256 --> 00:03:42,256
Yeah, but did you tape it?
113
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,656
Vfft!
Yeah.
114
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:44,923
Right there.
I got it.
115
00:03:44,956 --> 00:03:46,590
I did this thing on
the Ottoman Empire.
116
00:03:46,623 --> 00:03:47,790
Like, what was this,
117
00:03:47,823 --> 00:03:49,790
a whole empire based
on puttin' your feet up?
118
00:03:49,823 --> 00:03:50,790
Yeah.
119
00:03:50,823 --> 00:03:52,056
I'm tellin' ya,
120
00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:53,856
I got, like, a whole new
Tonight Show here.
121
00:03:55,523 --> 00:03:56,790
Hi.
122
00:03:56,823 --> 00:03:57,790
Hey.
Hey.
123
00:03:57,823 --> 00:03:58,823
What's the matter?
124
00:03:58,856 --> 00:04:00,390
Oh, I-- I was havin' lunch,
125
00:04:00,423 --> 00:04:01,890
and I bit down on the fork. Ngh.
126
00:04:01,923 --> 00:04:04,656
Boy, it's hard to believe,
with so much biting experience,
127
00:04:04,690 --> 00:04:06,578
a person could still
make a mistake like that.
128
00:04:06,578 --> 00:04:07,156
a person could still
make a mistake like that.
129
00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:09,223
Yommm!
130
00:04:09,256 --> 00:04:10,223
What?
131
00:04:10,256 --> 00:04:11,323
You're gettin' heavy.
132
00:04:12,256 --> 00:04:13,390
What?
133
00:04:13,423 --> 00:04:16,423
Yeah, you look like
you put on 5...
134
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:17,923
10 pounds.
135
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:19,823
Kramer!
136
00:04:19,856 --> 00:04:21,223
And I'll tell ya
something else,
137
00:04:21,256 --> 00:04:23,156
you look a little chunky
yourself, buddy.
138
00:04:23,190 --> 00:04:24,323
Me?
139
00:04:24,356 --> 00:04:25,556
Yeah.
No.
140
00:04:25,590 --> 00:04:28,590
Where's your
bathroom scale?
141
00:04:32,190 --> 00:04:35,990
ELAINE:
Oh, my God!
I've gained 7 pounds!
142
00:04:36,023 --> 00:04:36,578
JERRY:
I've gained 8!
143
00:04:36,578 --> 00:04:37,490
JERRY:
I've gained 8!
144
00:04:37,523 --> 00:04:38,756
I told ya.
145
00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:40,656
I thought I put on a couple,
but 7 pounds!
146
00:04:40,690 --> 00:04:41,890
How did I gain
7 pounds?
147
00:04:41,923 --> 00:04:43,090
How--? How did
I gain 8?
148
00:04:43,123 --> 00:04:44,590
I don't get it.
149
00:04:44,623 --> 00:04:46,456
I've-- I've been doing
the same exercises.
150
00:04:46,490 --> 00:04:48,323
I haven't been eating
anything different.
151
00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:49,623
Me either.
152
00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,323
Wait a second.
Maybe it's that yogurt.
153
00:04:51,356 --> 00:04:53,623
No, no, no.
That's 100-percent nonfat.
154
00:04:53,656 --> 00:04:55,156
How else could
this have happened?
155
00:04:55,190 --> 00:04:56,556
Well, maybe it's the Oreos.
156
00:04:56,590 --> 00:04:57,623
I don't eat Oreos.
157
00:04:57,656 --> 00:04:58,923
You don't eat Oreos?
158
00:04:58,956 --> 00:05:00,256
The way you break 'em open.
159
00:05:00,290 --> 00:05:01,990
You're ahhhhh-uhhh-agh.
160
00:05:02,023 --> 00:05:03,823
You're practically
havin' sex with 'em.
161
00:05:03,856 --> 00:05:04,823
What about me?
162
00:05:04,856 --> 00:05:06,578
You? You're gettin' old.
163
00:05:06,578 --> 00:05:06,823
You? You're gettin' old.
164
00:05:06,856 --> 00:05:09,490
Maybe your yogurt
isn't so nonfat.
165
00:05:09,523 --> 00:05:11,190
Oh, guess again,
tubby.
166
00:05:13,423 --> 00:05:15,656
Jerry, there's gotta be a way
we can find that out.
167
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,990
There must be some lab
that would do that kinda thing.
168
00:05:18,023 --> 00:05:19,290
Oh! I've got it!
What?
169
00:05:19,323 --> 00:05:21,456
I'll call the Food and
Drug Administration.
170
00:05:24,456 --> 00:05:25,923
Hey, I'll tell
you what, chubs.
171
00:05:25,956 --> 00:05:28,156
If that yogurt has fat in it,
172
00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:30,790
I will put myself on
an all-yogurt diet...
173
00:05:30,823 --> 00:05:32,223
[SNAPS]
...for a week.
174
00:05:32,256 --> 00:05:34,123
Well, let's start
the insanity.
175
00:05:35,323 --> 00:05:36,578
Nnnn, giddyup.
176
00:05:36,578 --> 00:05:37,023
Nnnn, giddyup.
177
00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:44,123
"Tommy Tune is
a very good dancer."
178
00:05:46,023 --> 00:05:48,456
You ever see Tommy Tune
dance, George?
179
00:05:53,123 --> 00:05:54,123
No.
180
00:05:54,156 --> 00:05:55,123
I like tap-dancing.
181
00:05:55,156 --> 00:05:56,590
FRANK:
Tap-dancing.
182
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,623
Anyone can tap-dance.
It's all in those shoes.
183
00:05:58,656 --> 00:05:59,790
Are you kidding?
184
00:05:59,823 --> 00:06:02,090
They practice for years,
those people.
185
00:06:02,123 --> 00:06:03,656
What's for supper?
186
00:06:03,690 --> 00:06:04,656
[DOORBELL RINGS]
187
00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:06,578
Somebody's at the door.
188
00:06:06,578 --> 00:06:07,090
Somebody's at the door.
189
00:06:07,123 --> 00:06:08,656
Tommy Tune is very tall.
190
00:06:08,690 --> 00:06:10,423
That helps.
191
00:06:10,456 --> 00:06:12,523
It makes him lankier.
192
00:06:13,756 --> 00:06:14,756
Lloyd!
193
00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:16,323
Hello,
Mrs. Costanza.
194
00:06:16,356 --> 00:06:19,423
Georgie,
Lloyd Braun is here.
195
00:06:19,456 --> 00:06:20,723
FRANK:
Hey, Lloyd!
196
00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:21,990
What are you
doing here?
197
00:06:22,023 --> 00:06:24,423
Well, I was just in the
neighborhood visiting my mother,
198
00:06:24,456 --> 00:06:25,923
so I thought I'd drop by,
say hello.
199
00:06:25,956 --> 00:06:28,223
Georgie, come here
and say hello.
200
00:06:28,256 --> 00:06:29,423
How you doing?
201
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,556
I hear you're a big adviser
for Dinkins now.
202
00:06:31,590 --> 00:06:33,323
That's right.
Hey, George.
203
00:06:33,356 --> 00:06:34,323
Hey, Lloyd.
204
00:06:34,356 --> 00:06:35,790
How's it goin'?
205
00:06:35,823 --> 00:06:36,578
I ran into George
yesterday in the city.
206
00:06:36,578 --> 00:06:38,190
I ran into George
yesterday in the city.
207
00:06:38,990 --> 00:06:40,123
Ow!
208
00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,523
What's the matter
with you?
209
00:06:45,423 --> 00:06:46,890
So, uh,
how's the arm?
210
00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:47,990
It's good.
211
00:06:48,023 --> 00:06:49,723
What's the matter?
Nothing.
212
00:06:49,756 --> 00:06:51,656
Yeah, his arm moves
like this.
213
00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:52,756
Your arm
moves like this?
214
00:06:52,790 --> 00:06:53,823
Yeah.
215
00:06:53,856 --> 00:06:55,556
I've never seen your arm
move like this.
216
00:06:55,590 --> 00:06:56,723
Me either.
217
00:06:56,756 --> 00:06:57,923
Well, it comes
and goes.
218
00:06:57,956 --> 00:07:00,523
It's like some kind
of a...spasm.
219
00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:02,890
I asked Mr. Dinkins
220
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,890
if he knew
any good orthopedists,
221
00:07:04,923 --> 00:07:06,256
and he said
he had the best.
222
00:07:06,290 --> 00:07:06,578
So I made an appointment
for you. Dr. Dekter.
223
00:07:06,578 --> 00:07:08,790
So I made an appointment
for you. Dr. Dekter.
224
00:07:08,823 --> 00:07:11,723
Mayor Dinkins got
an appointment for him?
225
00:07:11,756 --> 00:07:14,456
You mentioned George's name
to Mayor Dinkins?
226
00:07:14,490 --> 00:07:17,290
You discussed George
with the mayor of New York?
227
00:07:17,323 --> 00:07:22,390
Dinkins was talking about you.
He was discussing you!
228
00:07:22,423 --> 00:07:24,390
You know, Lloyd,
I've been to the doctor.
229
00:07:24,423 --> 00:07:25,923
There's really nothing
they can do.
230
00:07:25,956 --> 00:07:28,223
Hey! Mayor Dinkins
set this up for you.
231
00:07:28,256 --> 00:07:30,790
You know what kind of a doctor
he must be if Dinkins knows him?
232
00:07:30,823 --> 00:07:33,390
All right, all right!
I'll go.
233
00:07:33,423 --> 00:07:34,790
Well, that's great.
234
00:07:34,823 --> 00:07:36,578
And I'll be very interested
to hear the diagnosis.
235
00:07:36,578 --> 00:07:38,523
And I'll be very interested
to hear the diagnosis.
236
00:07:42,156 --> 00:07:43,290
ELAINE:
Uh-huh.
237
00:07:43,323 --> 00:07:44,723
Okay, well,
we're coming down.
238
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,056
All right. Okay.
239
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,490
I got a place
that can analyze it.
240
00:07:47,523 --> 00:07:49,290
It's in Brooklyn.
We have to drive there.
241
00:07:49,323 --> 00:07:50,456
They said
they could do it?
242
00:07:50,490 --> 00:07:51,656
Yeah. It's 45 bucks.
243
00:07:51,690 --> 00:07:53,590
All right, let's go down
to the yogurt store,
244
00:07:53,623 --> 00:07:55,056
and get a specimen.
Mm-hmm.
245
00:07:55,090 --> 00:07:56,356
[KNOCKING]
246
00:07:57,856 --> 00:08:00,223
Well, I hope you're satisfied.
What?
247
00:08:00,256 --> 00:08:02,290
Every word out of
my son's mouth now is:
248
00:08:02,323 --> 00:08:03,523
[BLEEPING]
249
00:08:06,490 --> 00:08:06,578
You know what he said to me
five minutes ago?
250
00:08:06,578 --> 00:08:08,723
You know what he said to me
five minutes ago?
251
00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:10,790
Where's my [BLEEP] cupcake?
252
00:08:13,423 --> 00:08:15,256
Gee, I'm really sorry.
253
00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:18,123
He wants to be like you
because you're a comedian.
254
00:08:18,156 --> 00:08:19,723
Maybe you could
talk to him?
255
00:08:19,756 --> 00:08:20,823
I'd be happy to.
256
00:08:20,856 --> 00:08:22,756
Thank you.
257
00:08:22,790 --> 00:08:25,256
Uh, Mary, we've been eating
a lot of your husband's yogurt
258
00:08:25,290 --> 00:08:26,556
at the yogurt place.
Yeah.
259
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,323
Does that have
any fat in it?
260
00:08:28,356 --> 00:08:31,190
No [BLEEP] way.
261
00:08:34,623 --> 00:08:36,290
Well, it was very nice
seeing you again.
262
00:08:36,323 --> 00:08:36,578
Oh, it was good
seeing you.
263
00:08:36,578 --> 00:08:40,456
Oh, it was good
seeing you.
264
00:08:40,490 --> 00:08:42,056
Oh, by the way,
265
00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:44,423
who was that gorgeous woman
I saw you with the other day?
266
00:08:44,456 --> 00:08:47,123
Oh, uh...
just a friend of mine.
267
00:08:47,156 --> 00:08:48,790
You must mean Elaine.
268
00:08:48,823 --> 00:08:50,423
Isn't she adorable?
269
00:08:50,456 --> 00:08:52,890
She is, she is. How about
givin' me her number, huh?
270
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,956
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, you know, Lloyd,
271
00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:56,423
I really don't have it.
272
00:08:56,456 --> 00:08:58,590
She works at
Pendant Publishing.
273
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,256
Elaine Benes.
274
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:03,723
Oh. Great.
Thanks a lot.
275
00:09:03,756 --> 00:09:04,723
Yeah.
276
00:09:04,756 --> 00:09:06,290
Bye-bye.
Bye.
277
00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:10,256
Oh, that Lloyd Braun!
278
00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:13,156
He is something, isn't he?
279
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:16,790
Well, I wouldn't
hear of it.
280
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,256
I said,
"Nice try, granny,"
281
00:09:18,290 --> 00:09:19,923
and I sent her
to the back of the line.
282
00:09:19,956 --> 00:09:22,323
[ALL LAUGH]
283
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:29,590
[FLATLY]
Hello, Newman.
284
00:09:29,623 --> 00:09:31,756
Hello, Jerry.
285
00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:34,056
Say, this yogurt is
really somethin', huh?
286
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:35,556
And it's nonfat!
287
00:09:35,590 --> 00:09:36,578
I've been waitin' for somethin'
like this my whole life,
288
00:09:36,578 --> 00:09:37,923
I've been waitin' for somethin'
like this my whole life,
289
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:39,056
and it's finally here!
290
00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:40,690
[LAUGHING]
291
00:09:42,423 --> 00:09:44,056
Hey, Seinfeld.
292
00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:47,556
I'd appreciate it if you'd stop
using obscenities around my son.
293
00:09:47,590 --> 00:09:50,223
It was an accident.
I'm gonna talk to him.
294
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:53,123
I'll have a small, plain
vanilla, in a cup, to go.
295
00:09:53,956 --> 00:09:54,956
That's nonfat, right?
296
00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:56,223
That's right.
297
00:09:56,256 --> 00:09:57,456
I'm on a special diet,
298
00:09:57,490 --> 00:09:59,256
and the doctor said
I can't have any fat.
299
00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:00,790
Yeah, well,
there is no fat.
300
00:10:00,823 --> 00:10:03,556
Hey, another round of strawberry
for me and my friends!
301
00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:04,856
[LAUGHING]
302
00:10:07,623 --> 00:10:09,390
Hurry, Jerry, hurry!
303
00:10:09,423 --> 00:10:10,423
How's it doin'?
304
00:10:10,456 --> 00:10:11,890
Not so good.
305
00:10:11,923 --> 00:10:14,156
Well, you can't have this
tested now. It's melting.
306
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:15,223
So what?
307
00:10:15,256 --> 00:10:17,290
It changes the molecules.
308
00:10:17,323 --> 00:10:19,290
Oh, you don't know
what you're talkin' about.
309
00:10:19,323 --> 00:10:22,156
Hey, fatso, I got
a 90 in biology.
310
00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:23,656
You call me fatso
one more time,
311
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,090
you're gonna be
walkin' back.
312
00:10:28,523 --> 00:10:31,823
Um, hi, hi. I called earlier
about getting the yogurt tested?
313
00:10:31,856 --> 00:10:32,890
Oh, right.
314
00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:34,323
Would you fill this out,
please?
315
00:10:34,356 --> 00:10:36,578
Does it matter
if it's melted?
316
00:10:36,578 --> 00:10:36,790
Does it matter
if it's melted?
317
00:10:36,823 --> 00:10:38,456
No.
318
00:10:40,356 --> 00:10:42,490
You know, this is gonna
take a couple of days.
319
00:10:42,523 --> 00:10:43,690
That's okay.
320
00:10:44,456 --> 00:10:45,656
Hello, there.
321
00:10:46,923 --> 00:10:48,323
Hello.
322
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,390
Mm.
323
00:10:49,423 --> 00:10:50,823
Ooh, test tubes.
324
00:10:50,856 --> 00:10:51,823
[CHUCKLES]
325
00:10:51,856 --> 00:10:53,156
Cool.
326
00:10:53,190 --> 00:10:54,790
What do you got there?
327
00:10:54,823 --> 00:10:57,056
Actually, this is
Mr. Giuliani's blood.
328
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,723
We're doing a cholesterol
workup on it.
329
00:10:59,756 --> 00:11:01,756
Okay, I'm done.
330
00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:02,756
[CHUCKLING]
331
00:11:02,790 --> 00:11:04,223
It was really nice
meeting you.
332
00:11:04,256 --> 00:11:06,578
Well, the pleasure's
all mine, hm?
333
00:11:06,578 --> 00:11:06,823
Well, the pleasure's
all mine, hm?
334
00:11:10,323 --> 00:11:12,290
You can't take
that chemist out.
335
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,456
Why not?
336
00:11:13,490 --> 00:11:14,756
Because she's
like the jury.
337
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,056
She's gotta be
sequestered.
338
00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:19,123
I'm not taking her out
just to influence the results.
339
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,923
Well, I think
the whole thing stinks.
340
00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:23,423
It smells. Smells bad.
Smells really bad.
341
00:11:23,456 --> 00:11:24,423
That's enough.
342
00:11:24,456 --> 00:11:25,590
What?
With the "smells."
343
00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:31,456
So he made an appointment
for me to see Dinkins' doctor.
344
00:11:31,490 --> 00:11:33,156
He's just trying
to humiliate me.
345
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:34,156
Uh-huh.
346
00:11:34,190 --> 00:11:35,323
And I have to go.
347
00:11:35,356 --> 00:11:36,578
If I don't go,
he'll know I'm lying.
348
00:11:36,578 --> 00:11:37,923
If I don't go,
he'll know I'm lying.
349
00:11:39,123 --> 00:11:40,723
Well, so, what're
you gonna do?
350
00:11:40,756 --> 00:11:42,423
Sit in the doctor's office
doing this?
351
00:11:42,456 --> 00:11:44,756
He's gonna think
you're a mental patient.
352
00:11:45,756 --> 00:11:47,090
I don't care.
353
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,490
Look, Lloyd doesn't know
what he's up against.
354
00:11:49,523 --> 00:11:51,423
This is nothing to me.
355
00:11:51,456 --> 00:11:54,190
My whole life is a lie.
356
00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,590
Hey.
357
00:11:56,623 --> 00:11:57,790
Hey.
Hey.
358
00:11:57,823 --> 00:11:59,490
So guess who
called me?
359
00:11:59,523 --> 00:12:01,156
Oh, don't tell me.
Lloyd.
360
00:12:01,190 --> 00:12:03,123
We're going out
tomorrow night.
361
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,323
All right, look,
362
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,390
he's gonna ask you
about my arm.
363
00:12:06,423 --> 00:12:06,578
So just tell him
I banged it against a desk,
364
00:12:06,578 --> 00:12:08,923
So just tell him
I banged it against a desk,
365
00:12:08,956 --> 00:12:10,923
and it's been moving
involuntarily ever since.
366
00:12:10,956 --> 00:12:12,923
I can't say that.
367
00:12:12,956 --> 00:12:14,423
Why not?
368
00:12:14,456 --> 00:12:15,923
What if I like him?
369
00:12:15,956 --> 00:12:17,756
I'm gonna start out
lying to this guy?
370
00:12:17,790 --> 00:12:19,156
So you're taking
his side?
371
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:21,123
No, but what if
we get married or something?
372
00:12:21,156 --> 00:12:22,823
We'll always have that
between us.
373
00:12:22,856 --> 00:12:25,390
Already you're
marryin' this guy?
374
00:12:25,423 --> 00:12:26,923
You never know.
375
00:12:26,956 --> 00:12:28,956
Believe me, you're not
gonna marry him.
376
00:12:28,990 --> 00:12:31,423
All right, well, then, what if
we become a couple, George?
377
00:12:31,456 --> 00:12:32,890
Every time we see you,
378
00:12:32,923 --> 00:12:35,156
you're gonna be walkin'
around goin' like this?
379
00:12:35,190 --> 00:12:36,556
Even you can't keep that up.
380
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,190
No, I believe
he can.
381
00:12:39,356 --> 00:12:41,123
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
382
00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:44,556
Hi.
383
00:12:44,590 --> 00:12:45,656
Hi.
384
00:12:45,690 --> 00:12:46,723
You know Jerry.
385
00:12:46,756 --> 00:12:47,723
Of course.
386
00:12:47,756 --> 00:12:48,990
He's a funny [BLEEP].
387
00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:53,190
MARY:
See?
388
00:12:56,256 --> 00:12:59,590
Listen, Matthew, I-I wanna
explain something to you.
389
00:13:00,456 --> 00:13:01,723
Now...
390
00:13:01,756 --> 00:13:05,256
cursing is not something
that most comedians do.
391
00:13:06,523 --> 00:13:06,578
You did it.
392
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:07,656
You did it.
393
00:13:07,690 --> 00:13:10,090
That's true,
but it was an accident,
394
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,623
and I haven't done
it since,
395
00:13:11,656 --> 00:13:13,123
and I would never
do it again.
396
00:13:13,156 --> 00:13:14,790
And if you
continue cursing,
397
00:13:14,823 --> 00:13:17,456
you'll never become a comedian
like me when you grow up.
398
00:13:17,490 --> 00:13:18,556
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
399
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,623
Excuse me one second.
400
00:13:24,356 --> 00:13:27,723
You know, Lloyd advises Dinkins
on everything he does.
401
00:13:27,756 --> 00:13:31,256
Yeah, yeah. Big adviser.
He tells him what soap to use.
402
00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:36,578
What the [BLEEP] are you doin',
you little piece of [BLEEP]!
403
00:13:36,578 --> 00:13:38,090
What the [BLEEP] are you doin',
you little piece of [BLEEP]!
404
00:13:38,123 --> 00:13:39,356
[CLATTERING]
405
00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:45,823
Shh!
406
00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:49,290
We don't want to disturb
the security guard.
407
00:13:49,323 --> 00:13:51,256
Where's the lights?
408
00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:52,456
Oh.
409
00:13:52,490 --> 00:13:53,956
How about this?
410
00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:56,223
Mmm.
411
00:13:56,256 --> 00:13:57,656
A Bunsen burner.
412
00:13:59,456 --> 00:14:00,423
Oh, yeah, huh?
413
00:14:00,456 --> 00:14:02,290
Ooh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
414
00:14:02,323 --> 00:14:03,790
Whoo.
415
00:14:03,823 --> 00:14:04,823
Yeow!
416
00:14:06,990 --> 00:14:07,956
Mmm.
417
00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:09,290
You want a taste?
No.
418
00:14:09,323 --> 00:14:10,290
It's cappuccino.
419
00:14:10,323 --> 00:14:11,323
Hmm.
Yes.
420
00:14:11,923 --> 00:14:13,290
Mmm...
421
00:14:13,323 --> 00:14:15,290
Hm?
422
00:14:15,323 --> 00:14:16,923
It's delicious.
423
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,290
I hear you.
424
00:14:18,323 --> 00:14:19,423
Nonfat?
425
00:14:19,456 --> 00:14:20,456
Well...
426
00:14:21,423 --> 00:14:22,523
you tell me.
427
00:14:23,656 --> 00:14:25,290
Is the verdict in yet?
428
00:14:26,023 --> 00:14:27,123
No.
429
00:14:27,990 --> 00:14:29,623
Well...
430
00:14:29,656 --> 00:14:32,290
this is in case
there's a tie, hm?
431
00:14:46,818 --> 00:14:48,385
Well, as far as
I know,
432
00:14:48,418 --> 00:14:50,052
he bumped his arm
into a door,
433
00:14:50,085 --> 00:14:51,485
and it's kind of
got this
434
00:14:51,518 --> 00:14:54,618
in...voluntary movement.
435
00:14:54,652 --> 00:14:57,018
It's, um, sort of
a, ahem, spasm.
436
00:14:58,485 --> 00:15:01,652
So anyway, you're a big adviser
to Dinkins, huh?
437
00:15:01,685 --> 00:15:04,318
Yeah, yeah. It's coming
right down to the wire.
438
00:15:04,352 --> 00:15:07,285
Wow. You know what I would do
if I was running for mayor?
439
00:15:07,318 --> 00:15:09,718
One of my campaign themes
would be
440
00:15:09,752 --> 00:15:12,185
that everybody should wear
nametags all the time
441
00:15:12,218 --> 00:15:12,382
to make the city
friendlier.
442
00:15:12,382 --> 00:15:13,618
to make the city
friendlier.
443
00:15:13,652 --> 00:15:14,785
Nametags, huh?
444
00:15:14,818 --> 00:15:16,485
Everybody would
know everybody.
445
00:15:16,518 --> 00:15:18,652
It would be like
a small town.
446
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,385
Maybe I'll mention that to him.
447
00:15:20,418 --> 00:15:21,885
Really?
448
00:15:21,918 --> 00:15:23,652
Wow.
449
00:15:23,685 --> 00:15:25,485
You sure you don't
want any yogurt?
450
00:15:25,518 --> 00:15:27,285
No, I'm watching
my weight.
451
00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:28,685
Oh, it's nonfat.
452
00:15:28,718 --> 00:15:30,718
Yeah, so they say.
453
00:15:30,752 --> 00:15:31,818
I'm done. Shall we go?
454
00:15:31,852 --> 00:15:33,218
Yeah, okay.
455
00:15:42,752 --> 00:15:45,485
Three days, he hasn't called me,
and you know why?
456
00:15:45,518 --> 00:15:47,885
Because he thinks
I'm too fat.
457
00:15:47,918 --> 00:15:49,052
He said that?
458
00:15:49,085 --> 00:15:50,685
No, but I saw
the look on his face
459
00:15:50,718 --> 00:15:52,452
when he put
his arm around me.
460
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,052
And then we went
to his apartment,
461
00:15:54,085 --> 00:15:56,885
and I sat on
one of his chairs...
462
00:15:56,918 --> 00:15:58,252
and it broke.
463
00:16:00,318 --> 00:16:03,285
And he says,
"Boy, you're a lotta woman."
464
00:16:03,318 --> 00:16:05,185
[WHISTLING]
465
00:16:06,085 --> 00:16:07,152
Hey...
466
00:16:07,185 --> 00:16:09,218
So hear anything
on the yogurt?
467
00:16:09,252 --> 00:16:11,018
No, but I expect
to hear anytime.
468
00:16:11,052 --> 00:16:12,382
Well, I wouldn't
get your hopes up.
469
00:16:12,382 --> 00:16:13,718
Well, I wouldn't
get your hopes up.
470
00:16:13,752 --> 00:16:15,185
Why do you say that?
471
00:16:15,218 --> 00:16:16,218
No reason.
472
00:16:16,252 --> 00:16:17,318
Oh!
473
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:19,385
Did you hear about that Dinkins?
474
00:16:19,418 --> 00:16:20,385
What about him?
475
00:16:20,418 --> 00:16:21,685
You didn't hear?
476
00:16:21,718 --> 00:16:22,818
He's proposin' a plan
477
00:16:22,852 --> 00:16:24,918
where everyone in the city
should wear nametags.
478
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:28,318
Nametags?
479
00:16:28,352 --> 00:16:30,552
So people can go around
saying hello to one another.
480
00:16:30,585 --> 00:16:31,885
Oh, I see.
So you can go,
481
00:16:31,918 --> 00:16:34,985
"Hey, you know who I saw
wilding today? Herb!"
482
00:16:35,018 --> 00:16:36,352
He's becoming
a laughingstock!
483
00:16:36,385 --> 00:16:37,952
You know the Times
has already stated
484
00:16:37,985 --> 00:16:39,318
it could cost him
the election.
485
00:16:39,352 --> 00:16:41,318
[LAUGHING]
Nametags!
486
00:16:41,352 --> 00:16:42,382
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
487
00:16:42,382 --> 00:16:42,885
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
488
00:16:44,185 --> 00:16:45,852
Hello?
489
00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:47,318
Yes.
490
00:16:47,352 --> 00:16:48,685
Uh-huh.
491
00:16:48,718 --> 00:16:50,652
Yeah.
492
00:16:50,685 --> 00:16:52,352
Oh, really?
493
00:16:52,385 --> 00:16:54,685
Okay.
Thank you very much.
494
00:16:54,718 --> 00:16:56,118
Bye-bye.
495
00:16:56,152 --> 00:16:57,685
Well...
496
00:16:57,718 --> 00:17:00,018
the yogurt
verdict is in.
497
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:01,085
Fat!
498
00:17:03,052 --> 00:17:04,052
Yeow!
499
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:08,852
The next morning,
I-- I woke up...
500
00:17:10,218 --> 00:17:12,382
and it was going like this.
501
00:17:12,382 --> 00:17:13,318
and it was going like this.
502
00:17:13,352 --> 00:17:17,152
I-I can control it
if I really concentrate,
503
00:17:17,185 --> 00:17:18,152
but otherwise--
504
00:17:18,185 --> 00:17:19,652
Oh!
505
00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:21,285
Uh-huh.
506
00:17:21,318 --> 00:17:22,652
Yes, well,
507
00:17:22,685 --> 00:17:24,718
I'm going to have to be
perfectly honest with you.
508
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,052
Please, doctor.
509
00:17:26,085 --> 00:17:27,185
I've examined you.
Yes.
510
00:17:27,218 --> 00:17:28,885
I've looked at your x-rays.
Uh-huh.
511
00:17:28,918 --> 00:17:30,118
And I find
512
00:17:30,152 --> 00:17:32,218
that there's absolutely
nothing wrong with you.
513
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:33,885
Hmm.
514
00:17:36,718 --> 00:17:38,318
Really.
515
00:17:38,352 --> 00:17:39,318
Nothing?
516
00:17:39,352 --> 00:17:40,518
Nothing...
517
00:17:40,552 --> 00:17:42,382
that would indicate
involuntary spasms.
518
00:17:42,382 --> 00:17:42,718
that would indicate
involuntary spasms.
519
00:17:44,752 --> 00:17:47,485
Well, it's kind of
a mystery, isn't it?
520
00:17:47,518 --> 00:17:49,018
No, not really.
521
00:17:49,052 --> 00:17:50,352
How so?
522
00:17:50,385 --> 00:17:53,152
May I suggest the possibility
that you're faking?
523
00:17:53,185 --> 00:17:55,785
Faking?!
524
00:17:55,818 --> 00:17:58,352
What makes you think
that I have time
525
00:17:58,385 --> 00:18:00,952
to see doctors, take x-rays,
make appointments,
526
00:18:00,985 --> 00:18:03,218
when there's absolutely
nothing wrong with me?
527
00:18:03,252 --> 00:18:05,552
What kind of a person
would do a thing like that?
528
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,285
I don't know what kind of person
would do something like that.
529
00:18:08,318 --> 00:18:10,252
Obviously,
a very sick person.
530
00:18:11,518 --> 00:18:12,382
A very immature person.
531
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:12,985
A very immature person.
532
00:18:14,352 --> 00:18:15,552
A person who has no regard
533
00:18:15,585 --> 00:18:17,952
for wasting other people's
valuable time.
534
00:18:17,985 --> 00:18:18,952
Goodbye.
535
00:18:18,985 --> 00:18:20,318
Now, see here,
doctor--
536
00:18:20,352 --> 00:18:22,785
I said, goodbye.
537
00:18:22,818 --> 00:18:23,918
Fine.
538
00:18:24,918 --> 00:18:25,918
Ow!
539
00:18:30,885 --> 00:18:32,385
ELAINE:
Jerry, come on, look.
540
00:18:32,418 --> 00:18:33,885
Let's go over to
that yogurt store.
541
00:18:33,918 --> 00:18:35,852
Look, Elaine, I've been
thinkin' about this.
542
00:18:35,885 --> 00:18:37,718
This has gotta be
a massive conspiracy.
543
00:18:37,752 --> 00:18:40,318
Who knows how deep it goes?
544
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:42,382
Hey, look, wait a second.
Kramer, turn that up.
545
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:43,318
Hey, look, wait a second.
Kramer, turn that up.
546
00:18:43,352 --> 00:18:46,152
MAN [ON TV]:
Rudy Giuliani, who underwenta physical last week
547
00:18:46,185 --> 00:18:48,118
received somestartling news today
548
00:18:48,152 --> 00:18:50,052
when his cholesterol countturned out to be
549
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:52,252
a whopping 375.
550
00:18:53,752 --> 00:18:56,118
What effect this will haveon the minds of the voters
551
00:18:56,152 --> 00:18:57,652
remains to be seen.
552
00:18:57,685 --> 00:19:00,118
In another development,Mayor Dinkins has fired
553
00:19:00,152 --> 00:19:01,552
his top advisor, Lloyd Braun,
554
00:19:01,585 --> 00:19:03,518
who was believedto be responsible
555
00:19:03,552 --> 00:19:05,018
for the nametag fiasco.
556
00:19:05,052 --> 00:19:07,218
We now take youto Giuliani headquarters,
557
00:19:07,252 --> 00:19:10,052
where Rudy Giulianiis about to make a statement.
558
00:19:10,085 --> 00:19:11,485
It's hard to understand
559
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:12,382
because I've been doingeverything I normally do.
560
00:19:12,382 --> 00:19:13,652
because I've been doingeverything I normally do.
561
00:19:13,685 --> 00:19:15,352
I've been watchingmy diet carefully.
562
00:19:15,385 --> 00:19:16,518
I exercise regularly.
563
00:19:16,552 --> 00:19:18,385
My only indulgence, I guess,
564
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,218
would be that I eat a lotof frozen yogurt,
565
00:19:20,252 --> 00:19:21,852
but it's nonfat.
566
00:19:21,885 --> 00:19:23,818
Nonfat yogurt?
567
00:19:23,852 --> 00:19:25,185
Oh, my God.
568
00:19:25,218 --> 00:19:28,152
They got Giuliani,
and he doesn't know it!
569
00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:29,718
Now look what
you've done.
570
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,218
Well, we've got
to do something.
571
00:19:31,252 --> 00:19:33,385
I'm calling Giuliani's
headquarters.
572
00:19:34,518 --> 00:19:36,052
GEORGE [LAUGHING]:
Nametags!
573
00:19:36,085 --> 00:19:37,652
Nametags!
574
00:19:37,685 --> 00:19:38,952
What kind of
an idiot thinks
575
00:19:38,985 --> 00:19:41,052
anybody would be interested
in an idea like that?
576
00:19:41,085 --> 00:19:42,382
I don't think it's so bad.
577
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:42,552
I don't think it's so bad.
578
00:19:42,585 --> 00:19:45,185
People should wear nametags.
579
00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,852
Everyone would be
a lot friendlier.
580
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:50,385
"Hello, Sam."
"How ya doin', Joe?"
581
00:19:51,685 --> 00:19:52,652
Hey.
582
00:19:52,685 --> 00:19:55,818
Your arm,
it moved again.
583
00:19:55,852 --> 00:19:57,352
I thought you said it went away.
584
00:19:57,385 --> 00:20:00,485
I banged it on the desk
in the doctor's office.
585
00:20:00,518 --> 00:20:02,018
[WHIMPERS]
586
00:20:02,052 --> 00:20:03,485
Quiet!
587
00:20:03,518 --> 00:20:06,118
They're starting
the press conference.
588
00:20:06,152 --> 00:20:08,318
GIULIANI [ON TV]:
My campaign staffhas received
589
00:20:08,352 --> 00:20:09,785
some very disturbinginformation
590
00:20:09,818 --> 00:20:11,285
regarding the fat content
591
00:20:11,318 --> 00:20:12,382
in yogurt that's being soldthroughout the city.
592
00:20:12,382 --> 00:20:14,218
in yogurt that's being soldthroughout the city.
593
00:20:14,252 --> 00:20:16,718
I pledge to you nowthat if I'm elected mayor,
594
00:20:16,752 --> 00:20:18,652
as my first order of business,
595
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,318
I'll appointa special task force
596
00:20:20,352 --> 00:20:21,985
to investigate this matter.
597
00:20:22,018 --> 00:20:23,985
I promise you,my fellow New Yorkers,
598
00:20:24,018 --> 00:20:26,952
that Mayor Giulianiwill do everything possible
599
00:20:26,985 --> 00:20:28,485
to cleanse the city
600
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:31,152
of this falsifiednonfat yogurt.
601
00:20:31,185 --> 00:20:33,618
JERRY:
The old yogurt
was so much better.
602
00:20:33,652 --> 00:20:35,785
Oh, this is terrible.
Pheh!
603
00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:36,818
Oh, it stinks.
604
00:20:36,852 --> 00:20:37,818
Mine too.
605
00:20:37,852 --> 00:20:39,185
We got one
more day.
606
00:20:39,218 --> 00:20:40,218
I can't eat this.
607
00:20:40,252 --> 00:20:42,382
Hey. Jerry.
608
00:20:42,382 --> 00:20:42,518
Hey. Jerry.
609
00:20:42,552 --> 00:20:44,485
Thanks a lot.
610
00:20:44,518 --> 00:20:46,152
I hope you're happy.
611
00:20:46,185 --> 00:20:48,018
It had fat in it.
It's not good for you.
612
00:20:48,052 --> 00:20:49,952
I don't care!
613
00:20:49,985 --> 00:20:52,452
It was good!
I was enjoying it.
614
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:53,818
Had to interfere.
615
00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:55,318
Couldn't leave
well enough alone.
616
00:20:55,352 --> 00:20:56,985
Well, I will get even
with you for this.
617
00:20:57,018 --> 00:20:58,152
You can count on it!
618
00:20:58,185 --> 00:20:59,985
ELAINE:
Hey, you guys.
619
00:21:00,018 --> 00:21:01,452
Listen to this.
Listen to this.
620
00:21:01,485 --> 00:21:05,452
"Apparently some blood spilled
into Mr. Giuliani's test tube
621
00:21:05,485 --> 00:21:06,985
"causing
his cholesterol count
622
00:21:07,018 --> 00:21:09,952
"to be 150 points higher
than was initially reported.
623
00:21:09,985 --> 00:21:11,518
"Ironically, the mishap,
624
00:21:11,552 --> 00:21:12,382
"by bringing
the nonfat yogurt scandal
625
00:21:12,382 --> 00:21:13,318
"by bringing
the nonfat yogurt scandal
626
00:21:13,352 --> 00:21:14,818
"to the attention
of the public,
627
00:21:14,852 --> 00:21:17,385
"probably clinched the election
for the Republican.
628
00:21:17,418 --> 00:21:18,452
"It was the one issue
629
00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:20,385
"which seemed
to electrify the voters
630
00:21:20,418 --> 00:21:22,885
and swept Giuliani
into office."
631
00:21:22,918 --> 00:21:25,785
So in effect, the yogurt
won him the election.
632
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,318
I wonder what actually
happened in that lab.
633
00:21:28,352 --> 00:21:30,985
Yeah. Me too.
634
00:21:32,252 --> 00:21:34,185
I can't eat this!
635
00:21:39,152 --> 00:21:41,352
Thanks for ruining
my daddy's business,
636
00:21:41,385 --> 00:21:42,382
you fat [BLEEP].
637
00:21:42,382 --> 00:21:43,918
you fat [BLEEP].
638
00:21:44,852 --> 00:21:46,752
[♪]
639
00:21:54,534 --> 00:21:56,967
There's nothing more fun
than cursing when you're a kid.
640
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,234
I mean, it's like gettin'
the keys to the car, isn't it?
641
00:21:59,267 --> 00:22:01,467
You're doin' something
you're not supposed to do,
642
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:02,500
and that's all you want.
643
00:22:02,534 --> 00:22:03,700
And there's nothing less fun
644
00:22:03,734 --> 00:22:04,900
than when you're an adult,
645
00:22:04,934 --> 00:22:07,700
and having to use
those wholesome curses.
646
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,834
"Fudge!"
647
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,800
"Sugar!"
648
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:16,367
"Consarnit!"
649
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,967
What the hell is
"consarnit," anyway?
650
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,400
I mean,
you've stubbed your toe,
651
00:22:20,434 --> 00:22:21,567
and you say, "Consarnit,"
652
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,067
you might as well say,
"Yippee!"
653
00:22:23,100 --> 00:22:23,187
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
654
00:22:23,187 --> 00:22:24,900
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
655
00:22:24,934 --> 00:22:27,034
But if you've ever been
to a foreign country,
656
00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:29,400
the first thing you learn
are the curse words, right?
657
00:22:29,434 --> 00:22:30,834
Travel halfway around the world
658
00:22:30,867 --> 00:22:33,234
to experience some centuries-old
exotic civilization,
659
00:22:33,267 --> 00:22:35,734
the first thing you ask is,
"How do they say 'doodie' here?"
660
00:22:35,767 --> 00:22:36,767
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
44596
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