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1
00:00:08,787 --> 00:00:12,120
(ominous techno music)
2
00:02:10,538 --> 00:02:12,603
- Hmm, never seen that before.
3
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,553
(chest thudding)
4
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,040
- Hey, Nick, what you got there?
5
00:02:33,059 --> 00:02:35,980
- You are not going to believe
6
00:02:35,980 --> 00:02:37,733
what I just found in the closet.
7
00:02:39,042 --> 00:02:41,082
- Besides yourself?
8
00:02:41,082 --> 00:02:44,114
(snickering)
9
00:02:44,114 --> 00:02:46,320
- Huh, funny, funny, no, no,
10
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,420
I'm happily with myself.
11
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,660
- So what's with the big chest?
12
00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:56,540
- Yeah, a big chest, full of videotapes.
13
00:02:56,540 --> 00:02:58,165
- Okay, so what?
14
00:02:58,165 --> 00:03:02,163
- So, so help me, help
me with this, come on.
15
00:03:03,293 --> 00:03:04,126
(sighing)
16
00:03:04,126 --> 00:03:05,110
Can you huff it and puff it over here?
17
00:03:05,110 --> 00:03:06,367
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay yeah.
18
00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:07,844
- [Nick] Thank you.
19
00:03:07,844 --> 00:03:08,677
- Come on.
20
00:03:11,474 --> 00:03:14,388
- Oh, you found Chuck's chest.
21
00:03:14,388 --> 00:03:16,638
(thudding)
22
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:20,470
Your uncle Chuck.
23
00:03:20,470 --> 00:03:22,390
May he rest in peace.
24
00:03:22,390 --> 00:03:26,690
He used to collect these
little obscure horror movies.
25
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:29,760
Movies I don't think anybody
else even knew about.
26
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,590
- Uncle Chuck was a horror fan?
27
00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:33,930
- Yeah, you know, I think
I remember Chuck mentioning
28
00:03:33,930 --> 00:03:38,030
that you had some really
rare horror films.
29
00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:38,863
- Oh yeah.
30
00:03:38,863 --> 00:03:42,490
Sometimes, he would, well
instead of watching sports
31
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,530
for hours on end,
32
00:03:43,530 --> 00:03:46,040
he would watch those movies all day long.
33
00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,160
Sometimes, he would watch all of 'em,
34
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,690
rewind 'em, and then watch 'em all again.
35
00:03:50,690 --> 00:03:54,060
And I never really knew where
he got those movies from.
36
00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:56,230
I would ask him about it, but when I did,
37
00:03:56,230 --> 00:03:59,663
he would hesitate, like he
was hiding something from me.
38
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:02,253
- Well.
39
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:04,853
Can we watch them?
40
00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:08,160
- Yeah, you can watch 'em.
41
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,010
But I do remember him
saying there was a movie
42
00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,610
that nobody should ever watch.
43
00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:13,770
So really, respect him on this, guys.
44
00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:15,720
If you find it, don't watch that movie.
45
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,433
- Well, okay, we'll keep
our eyes peeled for it.
46
00:04:20,690 --> 00:04:22,030
Oh and Maggie.
47
00:04:22,030 --> 00:04:23,360
- Yeah, sweets.
48
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,803
- Thanks so much for letting us stay here
49
00:04:25,803 --> 00:04:26,700
for a few weeks.
50
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,220
Stuff at mom's is tough right now,
51
00:04:29,220 --> 00:04:32,733
and neither of us can afford
our own place at the moment.
52
00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:35,960
- Hm, well, you're welcome.
53
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,460
I am really happy to
have my niece and nephew
54
00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:39,450
here with me.
55
00:04:39,450 --> 00:04:41,690
I just, I haven't been nearly as lonely.
56
00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:44,223
So, you know, since Chuck died.
57
00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:46,670
- Well.
58
00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:50,157
Let's get to watching these in the room.
59
00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,409
- You mean the garage?
60
00:04:51,409 --> 00:04:52,419
(laughing)
61
00:04:52,419 --> 00:04:53,890
- Shut it.
62
00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:55,530
Swear to God.
63
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:57,285
Swear to God.
- Uh huh, bring it.
64
00:04:57,285 --> 00:04:58,118
Bring it.
65
00:04:59,311 --> 00:05:00,144
- Later.
66
00:05:28,724 --> 00:05:31,391
(chest banging)
67
00:06:04,388 --> 00:06:06,573
(sighing)
(clapping)
68
00:06:06,573 --> 00:06:07,723
- Took you long enough.
69
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,960
- Could've used help.
70
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,340
- Hey, I gave you a round of applause.
71
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,640
- Yeah, that makes me
feel a whole lot better.
72
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,360
- I can't believe that
we're going to actually
73
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,280
watch something on VHS.
74
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,530
I mean, I haven't done
that since I was a kid.
75
00:06:24,530 --> 00:06:27,573
- Well, you kinda make it
sound like it's a bad thing.
76
00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:32,200
- Well, it's just so old school.
77
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,623
- There's beauty in VHS.
78
00:06:35,505 --> 00:06:36,338
- How?
79
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:38,833
- I don't know.
80
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:42,580
The whole old grade quality of it.
81
00:06:42,580 --> 00:06:46,163
Especially when you're
watching some gruesome but fun
82
00:06:46,163 --> 00:06:47,853
80s horror film.
83
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,483
That brick-like big box nostalgia of it.
84
00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:59,617
I even remember the video
stores having this like
85
00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:02,677
cigarette smoke--
86
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:05,810
It was cool.
87
00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:09,963
Hey, you know, and rewinding
the tapes, to some,
88
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:12,093
it was a chore.
89
00:07:12,093 --> 00:07:17,093
But for me, it was like
I had a real film reel.
90
00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:18,363
Winding it back up.
91
00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:25,633
Hey, I'd pick VHS over
DVDs any day of the week.
92
00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:30,150
Yeah, I mean, it's like
people who prefer records
93
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,800
to CDs or MP3s.
94
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,173
Hmm, hmm?
95
00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:39,023
And man, when you're
watching that old VHS,
96
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,363
it's nostalgic bliss.
97
00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:46,300
- Wow.
98
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:47,133
Get out much?
99
00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:49,693
- Fuck you.
100
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,043
- No, but.
101
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,190
Do you ever go out?
102
00:07:56,190 --> 00:07:59,690
- Yes, I go out once in a while.
103
00:07:59,690 --> 00:08:04,690
Like, to the grocery store,
to get food, supplies.
104
00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:06,410
- Oh yeah, yeah.
105
00:08:06,410 --> 00:08:07,793
- I see people there.
106
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,327
Saw Kelly Masterson there.
- For your whole big thing.
107
00:08:11,327 --> 00:08:12,753
- The other day, she was nice.
108
00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:15,108
- Yeah, and she probably ignored you.
109
00:08:15,108 --> 00:08:15,941
- Well I was ignoring her.
110
00:08:15,941 --> 00:08:17,941
So it's different.
- Of course, of course.
111
00:08:17,941 --> 00:08:18,940
- But hey, you know what, no, no.
112
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,400
I had a girlfriend for two months.
113
00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,310
Two whole months.
114
00:08:22,310 --> 00:08:25,110
I mean, it was six weeks
solid and then like,
115
00:08:25,110 --> 00:08:26,888
two weeks of fighting.
- Okay, wait, wait.
116
00:08:26,888 --> 00:08:27,721
What happened?
117
00:08:27,721 --> 00:08:28,554
And spill.
118
00:08:29,661 --> 00:08:30,881
(sighing)
119
00:08:30,881 --> 00:08:31,714
- God, it's just gossipy.
120
00:08:31,714 --> 00:08:33,615
- Yeah yeah yeah, I'm
a girl, deal with it.
121
00:08:33,615 --> 00:08:34,944
- Really, okay, fine.
122
00:08:34,944 --> 00:08:36,049
No, no, it's too embarrassing.
123
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:36,882
- No no, spill.
124
00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:38,363
You started it, finish it.
125
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,550
- Okay fine.
126
00:08:41,550 --> 00:08:45,740
Well, she had this ex-boyfriend
that she was still with.
127
00:08:45,740 --> 00:08:46,870
I mean, not with.
128
00:08:46,870 --> 00:08:48,870
Like, she didn't really cheat on me.
129
00:08:48,870 --> 00:08:50,173
But I mean, it happened.
130
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,070
Like, there was a time, over, you know.
131
00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:56,630
But I mean, you know, he
was a DJ, and had tattoos,
132
00:08:56,630 --> 00:08:57,610
and he had--
133
00:09:00,820 --> 00:09:02,737
- Come on, spit it out.
134
00:09:03,667 --> 00:09:05,217
- He had a Prince Albert, okay?
135
00:09:06,353 --> 00:09:07,665
- Ooh.
136
00:09:07,665 --> 00:09:08,498
Figures she left you.
137
00:09:08,498 --> 00:09:09,331
- Yeah, I know.
138
00:09:10,208 --> 00:09:11,320
I'd probably leave me, too.
139
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,360
I mean, I don't want one.
140
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,193
I just like--
141
00:09:14,193 --> 00:09:16,344
I mean, I can't--
- No, you don't need one.
142
00:09:16,344 --> 00:09:17,177
You don't need one.
143
00:09:17,177 --> 00:09:18,740
- How am I gonna compete
with that, you know?
144
00:09:18,740 --> 00:09:20,240
That's an event.
- Okay okay.
145
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,085
- You see that, you're like, hello.
146
00:09:22,085 --> 00:09:23,217
- Okay, get off of that subject,
147
00:09:23,217 --> 00:09:24,810
and let's watch these tapes.
148
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:26,969
- You're right, thank you.
- Let's watch these tapes.
149
00:09:26,969 --> 00:09:28,719
Which one's that one?
150
00:09:30,196 --> 00:09:31,613
- [Nick] Oh yeah.
151
00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:36,070
- [Jill] So we killed our parents.
152
00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:37,440
Mom deserves that right now.
153
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,028
- Hey.
- [Jill] She deserves it.
154
00:09:39,028 --> 00:09:41,663
- [Nick] Alright, I kind of agree.
155
00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:47,401
(machine clicking)
156
00:09:52,409 --> 00:09:57,156
(splattering)
(eerie music)
157
00:09:57,156 --> 00:10:00,156
(suspenseful music)
158
00:10:16,708 --> 00:10:19,541
(ominous singing)
159
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:46,877
(squelching)
160
00:10:49,327 --> 00:10:51,827
(eerie music)
161
00:10:55,344 --> 00:10:58,261
(thunder rumbling)
162
00:11:02,978 --> 00:11:05,978
(upbeat rock music)
163
00:11:42,685 --> 00:11:45,268
- Where are those fucking kids?
164
00:11:47,645 --> 00:11:49,895
(growling)
165
00:11:54,903 --> 00:11:57,153
(grunting)
166
00:12:12,663 --> 00:12:14,401
What was that?
167
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,802
Maybe I'll stick my dick in mouth.
168
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:19,385
Maybe that'll shut you up, huh?
169
00:12:22,226 --> 00:12:24,226
Damn bitch, get my belt.
170
00:12:25,837 --> 00:12:26,754
- Fuck you.
171
00:12:27,906 --> 00:12:32,122
Why don't you wear one, asshole?
172
00:12:32,122 --> 00:12:35,372
- Ooh, I'm gonna have some fun tonight.
173
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:40,423
(eerie rock music)
174
00:12:56,365 --> 00:12:58,615
Hey, don't change the song.
175
00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:03,008
Did you hear me, bitch?
176
00:14:27,822 --> 00:14:31,322
(upbeat electronic music)
177
00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:53,029
(wooing and laughing)
178
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:05,793
- That was trippy.
179
00:16:06,730 --> 00:16:09,019
- You could say that again.
180
00:16:09,019 --> 00:16:09,960
(shuttering)
181
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,750
Yeah, story of our lives, huh?
182
00:16:11,750 --> 00:16:13,853
Brother and sister taking on the world.
183
00:16:15,078 --> 00:16:16,770
I meant, you know, just the mom part.
184
00:16:16,770 --> 00:16:19,302
'Cause she's such a bitch.
- Yeah, yeah.
185
00:16:19,302 --> 00:16:21,130
- Not the whole other stuff.
186
00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:23,070
I'm just gonna sit a
little farther away now.
187
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:24,600
- Yeah.
- Sorry about that.
188
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,500
- How about we just go to the next one?
189
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:28,350
- But let's, let's--
190
00:16:28,350 --> 00:16:30,000
I like this one.
191
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,040
- Okay, we'll stay with this one,
192
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,853
even though you've made it awkward.
193
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:37,180
- Fine, go to the next one.
194
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:39,923
Round two, let's do this.
195
00:16:41,718 --> 00:16:42,822
Okay.
196
00:16:42,822 --> 00:16:43,655
- I dare you?
197
00:16:43,655 --> 00:16:44,870
- I dare you.
198
00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:46,580
Or you dare I?
199
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:47,413
Or I dare you?
200
00:16:47,413 --> 00:16:48,520
- I double dog dare you.
201
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,640
- [Nick] I triple dog dare you.
202
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:51,473
- To do what?
203
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,790
- [Nick] I don't know, make something up.
204
00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:55,650
- [Jill] Let's watch a movie.
205
00:16:55,650 --> 00:16:57,302
- [Nick] Alright.
206
00:16:57,302 --> 00:16:58,219
I Dare You.
207
00:16:59,702 --> 00:17:02,619
(machine clicking)
208
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:11,940
- Well, hey guys.
209
00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:13,160
Shawn and Brendan here.
210
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,010
And this is the opening
to our dares video.
211
00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,570
We got a number of dare videos,
212
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,380
and I cut them all to clips together.
213
00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:20,910
Now here are the dares,
214
00:17:20,910 --> 00:17:22,310
and after you see the clips,
215
00:17:22,310 --> 00:17:24,240
we're gonna let you know
which one we decided.
216
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,876
Well we kind of have it already in order,
217
00:17:26,876 --> 00:17:27,874
but you know, you'll see it.
218
00:17:27,874 --> 00:17:29,040
And you may even see some people in this,
219
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,200
they send in dares?
220
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,510
Well I guess they did.
221
00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,950
So check out the video
right now, here it comes.
222
00:17:34,950 --> 00:17:36,920
And we'll be back to tell
you which dare we picked.
223
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,540
- Oh god.
224
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:40,180
- Alright, my name is Dante.
225
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:42,740
I'm a comic from Last Comic Standing.
226
00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:45,650
And I dare you guys,
227
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,550
alright, here it is, are you ready?
228
00:17:47,550 --> 00:17:52,197
I want the two guys of bigger girth to--
229
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,980
One of them to put
butter under their boob.
230
00:17:56,980 --> 00:17:59,510
Like a stick of butter under a boob.
231
00:17:59,510 --> 00:18:01,760
And I want the other guy to have to
232
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,320
grab the butter with his mouth,
233
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:08,490
and then I want the two guys to like
234
00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:11,950
pass it to the other one in his mouth.
235
00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:15,179
And I want this all to happen
in a Mexican restaurant.
236
00:18:15,179 --> 00:18:16,260
(woman laughing)
237
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:17,093
I dare you.
238
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,220
- Hi, my name is Rebecca Cochin.
239
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:22,410
I'm an actress and a stand-up comic.
240
00:18:22,410 --> 00:18:27,120
And I dare you to go to a movie theater,
241
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,640
go see a movie of your choice,
242
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,380
sit down, and in the middle of the movie,
243
00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:36,540
stand up, turn to everyone
watching the movie and be like,
244
00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:41,219
can you believe how much
this movie fucking sucks?
245
00:18:41,219 --> 00:18:45,273
That's what I would like to see you do.
246
00:18:46,819 --> 00:18:47,652
- Hey hey hey hey hey.
247
00:18:47,652 --> 00:18:48,485
What is going on here?
248
00:18:48,485 --> 00:18:49,318
I'm Dennis Haskins.
249
00:18:49,318 --> 00:18:50,880
Mr. Belding from Saved By The Bell.
250
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,480
And I dare you to do my laugh.
251
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,350
(laughing)
252
00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:57,170
And, practice one random act of kindness.
253
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:58,003
See ya.
254
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:01,820
- What's up you two fat fucks?
255
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:05,090
I hear you guys are holding
in dares from your fans.
256
00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:07,710
Well, I'm not a fan.
257
00:19:07,710 --> 00:19:09,610
But I dare you two fat fucks
258
00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:12,950
to lock yourselves in a
bathroom for one week,
259
00:19:12,950 --> 00:19:15,667
and fucking have two
little plates of food,
260
00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:17,740
and see if you can survive off of that.
261
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,640
I fucking dare you.
262
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:20,750
- Well, we're back now,
263
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:23,237
and we got some pretty
interesting dares, didn't we?
264
00:19:23,237 --> 00:19:25,096
- Dude, how did you--
265
00:19:25,096 --> 00:19:26,979
I didn't know he watched
our videos, Mr. Belding.
266
00:19:26,979 --> 00:19:28,500
- I don't know any of those
people watch the videos.
267
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,520
- Whoa geeze.
- People think we filmed 'em
268
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:31,353
or something.
(laughing)
269
00:19:31,353 --> 00:19:34,579
But, you know, well, we decided.
270
00:19:34,579 --> 00:19:36,810
The dares were interesting,
271
00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:38,010
but the most interesting video,
272
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,656
what would you say is gonna be
273
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:40,690
the most interesting video to do?
274
00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:42,470
- I liked what Dante had
to say about the butter
275
00:19:42,470 --> 00:19:43,303
and the titties.
276
00:19:43,303 --> 00:19:45,600
- Well, no, but that's not
gonna make a good video.
277
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,280
We want it to be a good--
- why, I like butter.
278
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,340
I like your titties.
279
00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:49,420
- Let's try the video,
280
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:52,280
no, let's try the one,
let's do the dare where
281
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,610
we lock ourselves in the bathroom okay?
282
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,443
I'm sure we can get through--
- Why?
283
00:19:55,443 --> 00:19:57,330
We have to do what the hater says?
284
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,650
- But it's the most interesting one.
285
00:19:59,650 --> 00:20:00,500
- Oh I suppose we're gonna show
286
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,550
the haters who's boss, right?
287
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:03,496
- Yeah, we're gonna show him who's boss.
288
00:20:03,496 --> 00:20:04,560
We're gonna show him how
we can live through it,
289
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:05,980
and maybe we'll lose some weight.
290
00:20:05,980 --> 00:20:07,496
You know what I mean?
291
00:20:07,496 --> 00:20:08,329
- I'm not trying to lose any weight.
292
00:20:08,329 --> 00:20:09,162
- Well, maybe we'll lose a little bit.
293
00:20:09,162 --> 00:20:10,320
Man, you know, we are a little bit obese.
294
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,570
- Just a little bit enough
so we can see our peenies?
295
00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:13,403
- Yeah, oh, Brendan.
296
00:20:13,403 --> 00:20:15,576
Let's just get through this, okay?
297
00:20:15,576 --> 00:20:16,840
Come on now.
- Okay.
298
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:17,838
- Let's go.
- Okay.
299
00:20:17,838 --> 00:20:19,480
- [Shawn] So Brendan,
what are we doing now?
300
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,998
We're trying to get all the supplies?
301
00:20:20,998 --> 00:20:21,995
- Yeah.
302
00:20:21,995 --> 00:20:23,656
- [Shawn] Trying to figure
out what we need for this.
303
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:24,659
- Are we eating with plates?
304
00:20:24,659 --> 00:20:25,492
- [Shawn] Probably need some plates.
305
00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,720
I don't know if we really
need plates or not.
306
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,798
- We don't cook, we don't
need anything like this.
307
00:20:30,798 --> 00:20:32,078
- [Shawn] We need a bunch of food, though.
308
00:20:32,078 --> 00:20:33,976
We gotta get some cheap ass food.
309
00:20:33,976 --> 00:20:35,220
- I want some candy.
310
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,010
- [Shawn] We'll find something.
311
00:20:37,010 --> 00:20:38,920
- Are we gonna get any chips, dude?
312
00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,040
Do we need any chips?
313
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,499
- I don't really think
fat guys like us should.
314
00:20:42,499 --> 00:20:43,393
You know, aren't chips too good for us?
315
00:20:45,273 --> 00:20:46,276
What about like these pretzels?
316
00:20:46,276 --> 00:20:47,275
- Pretzels, dude.
317
00:20:47,275 --> 00:20:48,278
Pretzels are good, but
they're kinda salty.
318
00:20:48,278 --> 00:20:49,111
They're gonna kinda dry up our mouth.
319
00:20:49,111 --> 00:20:50,780
What do we do, drink the toilet water?
320
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:51,970
I think we can do this.
321
00:20:51,970 --> 00:20:53,750
I really think we can tough this out,
322
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:56,254
and nothing bad's ever gonna happen.
323
00:20:56,254 --> 00:20:57,087
- Okay then.
324
00:20:57,087 --> 00:20:57,920
- You know what I mean?
325
00:20:57,920 --> 00:20:59,054
Yeah, Shawn's in there right now,
326
00:20:59,054 --> 00:20:59,887
and he's paying for the food.
327
00:20:59,887 --> 00:21:02,300
- Yeah, got everything.
328
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:03,740
So we got everything in here.
329
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:05,252
- [Brendan] Yeah.
330
00:21:05,252 --> 00:21:07,220
- Yeah, so we're gonna go
set up the plates, go home.
331
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:08,740
Set these things up.
332
00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:09,740
See how everything goes.
333
00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:11,315
I mean--
- We got this, man.
334
00:21:11,315 --> 00:21:13,010
- We got the stuff.
- Yeah.
335
00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:15,180
- We're gonna tell
Dweebo he's gonna lock us
336
00:21:15,180 --> 00:21:16,930
in the fucking bathroom.
337
00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:18,140
Now Dweebo.
338
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:20,090
Basically if you don't
know what's going on is,
339
00:21:20,090 --> 00:21:21,891
we're accepting a dare here.
340
00:21:21,891 --> 00:21:24,297
And you have to lock us in
this bathroom for one week.
341
00:21:24,297 --> 00:21:28,210
And do not let us out
any time, no matter what,
342
00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:29,140
during that week.
343
00:21:29,140 --> 00:21:31,170
- Okay, well easy enough.
344
00:21:31,170 --> 00:21:32,460
What about food and everything?
345
00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:34,070
- [Shawn] We got it all figured out.
346
00:21:34,070 --> 00:21:34,903
We have it all planned.
347
00:21:34,903 --> 00:21:37,360
We got two plates of
food, and we got water.
348
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,290
So no matter what, don't let us out.
349
00:21:39,290 --> 00:21:40,880
- Okay, what if I hear a bunch of hooting
350
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,040
and hollering and screams?
351
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,657
Just let it go?
- [Shawn] Doesn't matter.
352
00:21:43,657 --> 00:21:44,654
Let it go.
- Okay.
353
00:21:44,654 --> 00:21:45,657
- [Shawn] Now luck us in.
- [Dweebo] I'll see you guys.
354
00:21:45,657 --> 00:21:48,080
- Dweebo, Dweebo.
(door clicking)
355
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,700
- Well, Brendan, it's finally time.
356
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,050
We're here in the bathroom.
357
00:21:52,050 --> 00:21:53,570
The dare is beginning.
358
00:21:53,570 --> 00:21:54,810
Yeah, now check the door.
359
00:21:54,810 --> 00:21:56,280
We gotta assure that this thing is locked
360
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,300
and we're not getting out.
361
00:21:58,300 --> 00:21:59,133
(door rattling)
362
00:21:59,133 --> 00:22:01,380
Yeah, Dweebo locked us in.
363
00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:02,570
And we're not getting out of here,
364
00:22:02,570 --> 00:22:04,410
and Dweebo's the only one in the house.
365
00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:06,370
And we told him he's not to let us out.
366
00:22:06,370 --> 00:22:08,180
- You know, I think we're gonna be okay.
367
00:22:08,180 --> 00:22:09,510
I think we can do this.
368
00:22:09,510 --> 00:22:10,343
- [Shawn] And we got food.
369
00:22:10,343 --> 00:22:11,810
Let's show our plates of food.
370
00:22:11,810 --> 00:22:13,459
What we've got here,
371
00:22:13,459 --> 00:22:16,110
we've got some crackers,
some tortilla chips.
372
00:22:16,110 --> 00:22:16,943
- [Brendan] Tortilla chips.
373
00:22:16,943 --> 00:22:18,920
- [Shawn] And a little
teeny piece of meat.
374
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:19,753
- [Brendan] That's random.
375
00:22:19,753 --> 00:22:21,499
- You know, that's just in case we need
376
00:22:21,499 --> 00:22:22,710
a little bit of extra protein.
377
00:22:22,710 --> 00:22:25,150
But you know, I think this
is gonna go okay, don't you?
378
00:22:25,150 --> 00:22:26,240
- Yeah, we've got this, dude.
379
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,881
- We'll go fine.
380
00:22:27,881 --> 00:22:29,860
I'm a little concerned
about the sleeping situation
381
00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:32,040
'cause we stupidly did not bring anything.
382
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:33,600
All we got is these.
383
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,170
We didn't bring blankets in here.
384
00:22:35,170 --> 00:22:37,360
We aren't exactly as prepared
as we should've been.
385
00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:39,923
But at least you know
you can go in this room,
386
00:22:39,923 --> 00:22:40,900
and you can have your space.
387
00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:43,250
- Yeah, like is this
gonna be my sleeping area?
388
00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:45,662
- [Shawn] Yeah, that's where
you're gonna sleep in there.
389
00:22:45,662 --> 00:22:46,495
- So you get the bigger one, huh?
390
00:22:46,495 --> 00:22:47,662
- [Shawn] Yeah.
- You get the bigger room?
391
00:22:47,662 --> 00:22:48,800
I don't wanna do this.
392
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,462
I'm the one with the big legs and stuff.
393
00:22:50,462 --> 00:22:51,810
(grunting)
394
00:22:51,810 --> 00:22:54,580
- [Shawn] Man, this is not good, Brendan.
395
00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:56,510
- I'm sleeping in a doorway, dude.
396
00:22:56,510 --> 00:22:58,057
You're the one that got this,
397
00:22:58,057 --> 00:22:59,742
you got to spread out and stuff.
398
00:22:59,742 --> 00:23:01,490
And I'm sitting in this, oh god.
399
00:23:01,490 --> 00:23:03,742
- [Shawn] How are we supposed
to deal with this for a week?
400
00:23:03,742 --> 00:23:05,790
Brendan, we're not gonna be able to walk.
401
00:23:05,790 --> 00:23:08,450
- Dude, we can barely walk
anyway, we're so fucking fat.
402
00:23:08,450 --> 00:23:10,150
- [Shawn] Well, show me on here.
403
00:23:10,150 --> 00:23:12,121
- Let's give it.
- Give me at least from
404
00:23:12,121 --> 00:23:12,954
a good angle so I don't look like
405
00:23:14,099 --> 00:23:15,570
a big huge fucking blob.
406
00:23:15,570 --> 00:23:17,502
- [Brendan] Oh well, it's
gonna be kinda hard, sir.
407
00:23:17,502 --> 00:23:20,896
- [Shawn] Come on Brendan,
let's get something to eat now.
408
00:23:20,896 --> 00:23:21,983
- Hey.
409
00:23:22,820 --> 00:23:23,800
- [Shawn] Brendan.
410
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:24,633
- Dude, don't--
411
00:23:25,539 --> 00:23:26,570
- [Shawn] Shut the door.
412
00:23:26,570 --> 00:23:28,462
- I have a stomach spasm.
413
00:23:28,462 --> 00:23:29,629
- Ew, Brendan.
414
00:23:30,660 --> 00:23:31,878
This is ridiculous, guys.
415
00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:33,670
I'm in here dealing with someone
416
00:23:33,670 --> 00:23:35,080
jerking off in the bathroom.
417
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,870
I don't know how I'm
supposed to deal with this.
418
00:23:36,870 --> 00:23:38,850
Brendan, this is disgusting, Brendan.
419
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:40,940
Now, how am I supposed
to deal with this crap?
420
00:23:40,940 --> 00:23:42,970
Being here with you, jerking off.
421
00:23:42,970 --> 00:23:44,542
I don't like this at all.
422
00:23:44,542 --> 00:23:46,350
- What's wrong with it?
423
00:23:46,350 --> 00:23:48,099
- [Shawn] It's disgusting.
- It's human.
424
00:23:48,099 --> 00:23:49,600
- [Shawn] Yeah, but I don't
wanna be in here with this.
425
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,683
- It's human, it's semen.
426
00:23:51,683 --> 00:23:52,637
- [Shawn] Let's just eat
the god damn food now.
427
00:23:54,441 --> 00:23:55,443
Put it down.
428
00:23:55,443 --> 00:23:56,461
- Down, where?
429
00:23:56,461 --> 00:23:57,457
The water's not even running.
430
00:23:57,457 --> 00:23:58,430
I can't even flush it.
431
00:23:58,430 --> 00:23:59,263
What the hell?
432
00:23:59,263 --> 00:24:02,290
- Where is the god damn meat, Brendan?
433
00:24:02,290 --> 00:24:04,880
- I don't know, I was too busy fapping.
434
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,502
- [Shawn] You ate the
god damn meat, Brendan.
435
00:24:07,502 --> 00:24:08,499
- No I didn't.
436
00:24:08,499 --> 00:24:09,700
- [Shawn] Why did you
eat the god damn meat?
437
00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:10,590
- I didn't eat the meat.
438
00:24:10,590 --> 00:24:11,930
I was beating my meat.
439
00:24:11,930 --> 00:24:14,761
- [Shawn] It's fine if you're
gonna eat your fucking meat,
440
00:24:14,761 --> 00:24:15,987
but you don't eat my meat, Brendan, okay?
441
00:24:15,987 --> 00:24:18,030
- I promise you, I didn't eat your meat.
442
00:24:18,030 --> 00:24:19,481
- [Shawn] You ate the god--
443
00:24:19,481 --> 00:24:20,340
- You were alone with the food out there.
444
00:24:20,340 --> 00:24:21,240
I was right here.
445
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:22,750
- [Shawn] Who else is in
here with us, Brendan?
446
00:24:22,750 --> 00:24:24,243
It's us.
447
00:24:24,243 --> 00:24:25,076
It's two fat fucks.
448
00:24:25,076 --> 00:24:27,258
And there's no one else in here, Brendan.
449
00:24:27,258 --> 00:24:28,980
- Maybe you're imagining things,
450
00:24:28,980 --> 00:24:30,260
when you were like hallucinating,
451
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:33,299
'cause you're so fat, and
you're just out there going--
452
00:24:33,299 --> 00:24:35,203
- [Shawn] You know, go
fuck yourself, Brendan.
453
00:24:35,203 --> 00:24:37,523
Go fuck yourself.
- Go fuck yourself.
454
00:24:37,523 --> 00:24:38,857
- [Shawn] Go fuck yourself.
455
00:24:38,857 --> 00:24:39,923
- [Brendan] You know what?
456
00:24:39,923 --> 00:24:40,756
You know what, dude?
457
00:24:40,756 --> 00:24:41,923
- What?
458
00:24:41,923 --> 00:24:42,979
- I'm just gonna take my plate, okay?
459
00:24:42,979 --> 00:24:45,110
I'm gonna bring my own stuff,
460
00:24:45,110 --> 00:24:46,560
and keep it in my own room.
461
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:47,980
- Yeah, okay, then you know what?
462
00:24:47,980 --> 00:24:49,780
Eat your own god damn food.
463
00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:51,180
And leave my food alone.
464
00:24:51,180 --> 00:24:52,403
- [Brendan] I will.
465
00:24:52,403 --> 00:24:53,720
- If you wanna go and pound it down,
466
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,030
and we have to last in here a week.
467
00:24:56,030 --> 00:24:57,707
And if you want to fuck it up,
468
00:24:57,707 --> 00:25:00,020
and you wanna kill yourself in here,
469
00:25:00,020 --> 00:25:00,853
that's fine.
470
00:25:00,853 --> 00:25:03,230
- [Brendan] No, I just
like how you give me
471
00:25:03,230 --> 00:25:05,100
this little shitty space right here.
472
00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:07,370
I can barely move around and stuff.
473
00:25:07,370 --> 00:25:08,330
And you get that room,
474
00:25:08,330 --> 00:25:09,300
and you're bitching at me 'cause
475
00:25:09,300 --> 00:25:11,219
you think I ate your meat.
476
00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:14,510
- Brendan, this is my fucking house, okay?
477
00:25:14,510 --> 00:25:16,540
So you sleep wherever
the fuck I put you, okay?
478
00:25:16,540 --> 00:25:17,840
- [Brendan] But I'm your guest.
479
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,450
- Yeah go fuck yourself, okay?
480
00:25:19,450 --> 00:25:21,340
Take your own god damn food,
481
00:25:21,340 --> 00:25:23,350
and don't take any of my food.
482
00:25:23,350 --> 00:25:24,550
You leave this alone.
483
00:25:24,550 --> 00:25:26,643
This is all I've got for a fucking week.
484
00:25:26,643 --> 00:25:27,902
- [Brendan] Alright fuck you.
485
00:25:27,902 --> 00:25:29,539
- I'm an obese fuck.
- [Brendan] Fuck you.
486
00:25:29,539 --> 00:25:30,710
- And you want me to last
in here a week, okay?
487
00:25:30,710 --> 00:25:32,462
- [Brendan] Uh huh.
488
00:25:32,462 --> 00:25:33,295
- [Shawn] So shut the god
damn door and leave me alone.
489
00:25:33,295 --> 00:25:35,161
- [Brendan] Fuck you and your rosacea.
490
00:25:35,161 --> 00:25:36,979
You know what, man?
491
00:25:36,979 --> 00:25:37,812
- What?
492
00:25:37,812 --> 00:25:39,299
- [Brendan] I'm sorry, man.
493
00:25:39,299 --> 00:25:40,132
We have to get along through this thing,
494
00:25:40,132 --> 00:25:41,843
'cause we have to tough
this shit out, you know?
495
00:25:41,843 --> 00:25:43,750
- Like I said, Brendan,
496
00:25:43,750 --> 00:25:45,010
I have no problem with you.
497
00:25:45,010 --> 00:25:47,180
You just eat your own fucking food.
498
00:25:47,180 --> 00:25:48,720
- [Brendan] I am.
- Leave mine alone.
499
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:49,680
- [Brendan] I am.
500
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:50,513
- Yeah, well eat it.
501
00:25:50,513 --> 00:25:53,090
And if you don't, it's not my problem,
502
00:25:53,090 --> 00:25:55,295
if you starve to death in here.
503
00:25:55,295 --> 00:25:56,128
You know, you were the one that wanted
504
00:25:56,128 --> 00:25:57,790
to get famous on the internet.
505
00:25:57,790 --> 00:25:58,790
You were the one that thought
506
00:25:58,790 --> 00:26:02,638
we would finally get chicks
doing this crap, okay?
507
00:26:02,638 --> 00:26:04,220
- [Brendan] I thought we would get chicks.
508
00:26:04,220 --> 00:26:06,280
It was you, all about the poon tang.
509
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,980
You know me, I just wanted
your rusty little sword.
510
00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:09,940
- Oh you wanna put me through this crap,
511
00:26:09,940 --> 00:26:12,400
and give me this crap
and make dumb ass jokes,
512
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,990
when I'm in here starving, okay?
513
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:16,160
I have to deal with that
little bit of fucking food,
514
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,283
and you eat my helpings of it.
515
00:26:19,283 --> 00:26:20,840
So just leave me alone Brendan, okay?
516
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,110
- [Brendan] I didn't eat your helpings.
517
00:26:22,110 --> 00:26:23,539
- Go away, leave me alone.
518
00:26:23,539 --> 00:26:27,039
Go in your little room and leave me alone.
519
00:26:33,706 --> 00:26:34,906
- I think he's sleeping.
520
00:26:35,980 --> 00:26:37,980
I'm gonna go get some of his fucking food.
521
00:26:39,123 --> 00:26:41,290
(snoring)
522
00:26:47,182 --> 00:26:49,460
- [Shawn] You guys take a fucking look?
523
00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:52,510
Brendan came in here and
took some of my god damn
524
00:26:52,510 --> 00:26:53,383
peanut butter.
525
00:26:57,020 --> 00:26:58,070
Brendan.
526
00:26:58,070 --> 00:27:01,350
You ate my god damn peanut butter, okay?
527
00:27:01,350 --> 00:27:03,400
Why are you eating my god damn food?
528
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,550
I can't help if you ate
all your fucking food.
529
00:27:05,550 --> 00:27:08,201
You're the one who's gonna come
in here and starve to death,
530
00:27:08,201 --> 00:27:09,080
and it's your own fault.
531
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,518
- I didn't eat your food.
532
00:27:10,518 --> 00:27:11,910
Why do you keep blaming me with this shit?
533
00:27:11,910 --> 00:27:12,940
First the meat, now this?
534
00:27:12,940 --> 00:27:14,550
- [Shawn] And if you starve to death,
535
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:15,660
that's your own problem.
536
00:27:15,660 --> 00:27:17,790
And I'm not gonna go to
jail for accessory murder
537
00:27:17,790 --> 00:27:18,810
if you die in here,
538
00:27:18,810 --> 00:27:20,510
because this was your idea to do this.
539
00:27:20,510 --> 00:27:21,982
- Can you show me what I ate?
540
00:27:21,982 --> 00:27:23,420
Can you show me what I ate, please?
541
00:27:23,420 --> 00:27:24,550
- [Shawn] You came out here,
542
00:27:24,550 --> 00:27:25,900
and I didn't eat any
of this peanut butter.
543
00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:27,030
I was saving this.
544
00:27:27,030 --> 00:27:28,490
I'm being smart here.
545
00:27:28,490 --> 00:27:30,121
- [Brendan] It looked like you dipped
546
00:27:30,121 --> 00:27:31,190
your finger in that bitch.
547
00:27:31,190 --> 00:27:32,690
- [Shawn] You went in
there and scooped in there
548
00:27:32,690 --> 00:27:35,321
and ate my fucking peanut
butter, and you know it.
549
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:36,180
- I scooped in there with what?
550
00:27:36,180 --> 00:27:38,280
- [Shawn] With one of the
fucking crackers, Brendan.
551
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,410
- What, were you counting
'em and shit, you fat fuck?
552
00:27:39,410 --> 00:27:41,443
- [Shawn] Brendan, listen, okay?
553
00:27:41,443 --> 00:27:42,276
- Oh what, are you gonna choke me?
554
00:27:42,276 --> 00:27:43,970
- [Shawn] For the rest of
this fucking experiment,
555
00:27:43,970 --> 00:27:45,200
I want you to stay in this room,
556
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,470
and leave me the fuck along, okay?
557
00:27:47,470 --> 00:27:50,430
- But how am I gonna do it with this?
558
00:27:50,430 --> 00:27:52,300
- [Shawn] That's your own fault, Brendan.
559
00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:53,950
You know, I don't even
know how many fucking
560
00:27:53,950 --> 00:27:55,270
days we have left in here,
561
00:27:55,270 --> 00:27:56,740
and this is your own problem.
562
00:27:56,740 --> 00:27:59,300
This is not my fucking problem, okay?
563
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:00,133
- Okay.
564
00:28:01,481 --> 00:28:02,761
- [Shawn] This is now you're problem.
565
00:28:02,761 --> 00:28:03,763
- You know what your problem is?
566
00:28:03,763 --> 00:28:04,761
- [Shawn] What?
567
00:28:04,761 --> 00:28:05,763
- If you have to dook, you can't.
568
00:28:05,763 --> 00:28:08,810
(laughing)
569
00:28:08,810 --> 00:28:09,923
Oh man.
570
00:28:11,699 --> 00:28:13,423
I'm so hungry right now.
571
00:28:15,610 --> 00:28:17,753
There's not even water, you know?
572
00:28:18,819 --> 00:28:20,540
There's not even--
573
00:28:20,540 --> 00:28:22,023
The water's not even running.
574
00:28:23,010 --> 00:28:25,393
He's over there sleeping, I think,
575
00:28:25,393 --> 00:28:27,863
and I'm so hungry, I can eat a tissue.
576
00:28:29,073 --> 00:28:31,323
(coughing)
577
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:34,553
But I can't.
578
00:28:35,875 --> 00:28:36,875
My mouth is too dry.
579
00:28:37,780 --> 00:28:40,280
But I'm gonna go see if
he has any food out there.
580
00:28:42,050 --> 00:28:42,883
Damn it.
581
00:28:45,315 --> 00:28:46,670
(snoring)
582
00:28:46,670 --> 00:28:47,503
Oh shit.
583
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:49,553
Oh shit.
584
00:28:50,974 --> 00:28:52,440
There's peanut butter.
585
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:54,160
Oh yeah, fuck yeah.
586
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:58,078
- Red fucking handed.
587
00:28:58,078 --> 00:28:59,075
- [Brendan] What?
588
00:28:59,075 --> 00:29:01,510
- I caught you red
fucking handed, Brendan.
589
00:29:01,510 --> 00:29:03,945
Eating my fucking peanut butter.
590
00:29:03,945 --> 00:29:04,778
- It's my peanut butter.
591
00:29:04,778 --> 00:29:06,210
- It's not your peanut butter.
592
00:29:06,210 --> 00:29:07,560
You ate your fucking peanut butter,
593
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,840
you fat giant lard ass.
- No I didn't eat
594
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,219
my peanut butter.
595
00:29:11,219 --> 00:29:12,515
This is my peanut butter.
596
00:29:12,515 --> 00:29:13,779
- It's not your peanut butter.
597
00:29:13,779 --> 00:29:14,777
Stop doing the stupid fucking jokes.
598
00:29:14,777 --> 00:29:15,779
- I'm not doing the god damn jokes.
599
00:29:15,779 --> 00:29:17,241
- [Shawn] You eat your fucking food,
600
00:29:17,241 --> 00:29:18,537
you dumb piece of shit.
(coughing)
601
00:29:18,537 --> 00:29:19,539
- I'm not doing this--
602
00:29:19,539 --> 00:29:20,558
- [Shawn] This was your
god damn stupid idea.
603
00:29:20,558 --> 00:29:21,391
- [Brendan] Don't you
talk to me like that.
604
00:29:21,391 --> 00:29:22,697
- I'll talk to you whatever way
605
00:29:22,697 --> 00:29:23,699
I fucking want, Brendan.
606
00:29:23,699 --> 00:29:24,878
- [Brendan] No you don't
talk to me like that.
607
00:29:24,878 --> 00:29:26,798
(yelling and laughing)
608
00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:27,650
- [Shawn] Stop it, man, stop.
609
00:29:30,592 --> 00:29:31,425
- What the hell is going on?
610
00:29:31,425 --> 00:29:34,280
Something's not sitting
with me right about this.
611
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:35,537
Need to check this out.
612
00:29:36,937 --> 00:29:40,435
What the hell?
(growling)
613
00:29:40,435 --> 00:29:41,450
Holy shit.
614
00:29:41,450 --> 00:29:46,350
- I dare you not to know a
better short film out there
615
00:29:46,350 --> 00:29:50,035
that has the most attractive
cast I've ever seen in years.
616
00:29:50,035 --> 00:29:51,500
- I could not stop laughing.
- I mean that one guy,
617
00:29:51,500 --> 00:29:54,840
that one guy will be in my dreams tonight.
618
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,730
As a person, I'm like, as my wing man,
619
00:29:57,730 --> 00:29:59,280
for when I go--
- Sure, yeah.
620
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:02,570
- When I go to the club, get my groove on.
621
00:30:02,570 --> 00:30:04,460
I already said I had a girlfriend.
622
00:30:04,460 --> 00:30:06,700
I had so many girlfriends.
623
00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:09,730
But that one recently was cool.
624
00:30:09,730 --> 00:30:13,123
Except for the whole, fucking other guys.
625
00:30:14,495 --> 00:30:16,523
- Okay, let's focus on the non-wing men,
626
00:30:17,555 --> 00:30:19,030
and the non-girlfriend thing.
627
00:30:19,030 --> 00:30:20,110
- Okay.
628
00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:21,410
- It was funny.
629
00:30:21,410 --> 00:30:22,850
It was silly.
630
00:30:22,850 --> 00:30:25,155
And I really couldn't
stop laughing at him.
631
00:30:25,155 --> 00:30:27,730
I want to watch it again, but later.
632
00:30:27,730 --> 00:30:29,170
Next one?
633
00:30:29,170 --> 00:30:32,330
- Yeah.
- Listen, don't cry.
634
00:30:32,330 --> 00:30:34,630
- I'm sorry, I just
can't, sometimes I just--
635
00:30:34,630 --> 00:30:35,770
- I know, I know.
636
00:30:37,290 --> 00:30:40,233
- I just want it to be alright sometimes.
637
00:30:40,233 --> 00:30:41,715
- I know, I know.
638
00:30:41,715 --> 00:30:44,275
- It doesn't get any better.
639
00:30:44,275 --> 00:30:46,358
(crying)
640
00:30:47,836 --> 00:30:50,753
I just feel sometimes that I just--
641
00:30:51,860 --> 00:30:53,140
See?
642
00:30:53,140 --> 00:30:53,973
See what I can do?
643
00:30:53,973 --> 00:30:56,611
I can rip you like that.
(snapping)
644
00:30:56,611 --> 00:30:58,010
Because you're a woman, you feel emotions.
645
00:30:58,010 --> 00:30:59,833
Me, I'm cold as ice.
646
00:31:01,420 --> 00:31:02,760
Well that kinda hurt.
647
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,310
You know I'm sensitive.
648
00:31:04,310 --> 00:31:05,143
- Yeah.
649
00:31:05,143 --> 00:31:06,990
- I have that alopecia shit.
650
00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:08,371
Or is that that cashmere?
- Yeah, next one.
651
00:31:08,371 --> 00:31:10,638
- I don't know.
- Just go to the next one.
652
00:31:10,638 --> 00:31:12,419
Third one, come on.
653
00:31:12,419 --> 00:31:15,400
- [Nick] Third one, let's hit it up.
654
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,430
- [Jill] Knockers.
- [Nick] Knicker, oh Knockers.
655
00:31:17,430 --> 00:31:19,487
Knockers, yeah, okay.
656
00:31:19,487 --> 00:31:22,300
- [Jill] Are you sure
this isn't uncle Chuck's
657
00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:23,860
porno collection?
658
00:31:23,860 --> 00:31:25,977
- Well I think we're about to find out.
659
00:31:25,977 --> 00:31:27,515
- [Jill] Oh god.
660
00:31:27,515 --> 00:31:29,059
- [Nick] Yeah.
661
00:31:29,059 --> 00:31:31,976
(machine clicking)
662
00:31:37,273 --> 00:31:40,856
(classic electronic music)
663
00:31:42,617 --> 00:31:45,950
(epic electronic music)
664
00:31:52,515 --> 00:31:55,515
(light eerie music)
665
00:32:16,638 --> 00:32:18,350
- Go potty, Pig.
666
00:32:18,350 --> 00:32:20,350
Come on come on come on.
667
00:32:48,498 --> 00:32:51,165
(sensual music)
668
00:33:03,896 --> 00:33:06,896
(light synth music)
669
00:33:12,078 --> 00:33:14,995
(knocking on door)
670
00:33:46,369 --> 00:33:48,289
(kicking door)
671
00:33:48,289 --> 00:33:51,206
(electronic music)
672
00:33:53,649 --> 00:33:57,566
(knocking frantically on door)
673
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:26,440
(screaming)
(ominous music)
674
00:34:46,267 --> 00:34:48,434
(panting)
675
00:34:56,608 --> 00:34:58,858
(laughing)
676
00:35:04,005 --> 00:35:06,922
(knocking on door)
677
00:35:17,303 --> 00:35:19,970
(ominous music)
678
00:35:30,288 --> 00:35:32,621
(screaming)
679
00:35:39,424 --> 00:35:41,591
(sighing)
680
00:35:44,826 --> 00:35:49,409
(grunting)
(splashing)
681
00:35:52,185 --> 00:35:54,685
(eerie music)
682
00:36:05,066 --> 00:36:07,733
(tapping phone)
683
00:36:25,761 --> 00:36:28,428
(ominous music)
684
00:36:40,585 --> 00:36:43,585
(light synth music)
685
00:36:50,421 --> 00:36:53,421
(suspenseful music)
686
00:36:59,226 --> 00:37:02,226
(eerie synth music)
687
00:37:08,186 --> 00:37:10,436
(slurping)
688
00:37:18,101 --> 00:37:22,851
(slurping)
(dog whining)
689
00:37:37,724 --> 00:37:39,807
(crying)
690
00:38:03,093 --> 00:38:03,926
No.
691
00:38:10,165 --> 00:38:12,538
(sighing)
692
00:38:12,538 --> 00:38:14,826
(farting)
693
00:38:14,826 --> 00:38:17,159
(squishing)
694
00:38:18,849 --> 00:38:21,179
(gasping)
695
00:38:21,179 --> 00:38:22,012
No.
696
00:38:23,650 --> 00:38:26,103
Stop stop stop stop stop
stop stop stop stop.
697
00:38:34,195 --> 00:38:37,195
(upbeat rock music)
698
00:39:01,295 --> 00:39:04,277
(car engine revving)
699
00:39:04,277 --> 00:39:06,777
(synth music)
700
00:39:12,700 --> 00:39:13,630
- Whoa.
701
00:39:13,630 --> 00:39:15,960
Knockers just knocked me out.
702
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:19,060
I mean, you think--
- What the hell?
703
00:39:19,060 --> 00:39:22,154
- Do you think that chihuahua's alright?
704
00:39:22,154 --> 00:39:24,030
- I don't know.
705
00:39:24,030 --> 00:39:25,940
- Oh hey, it's alright, girl.
706
00:39:25,940 --> 00:39:28,330
Toughen up, toughen up.
- Shut the fuck up.
707
00:39:28,330 --> 00:39:29,653
- Toughen.
708
00:39:29,653 --> 00:39:30,700
Hey, could I ask you a question?
709
00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:31,550
- Fine.
710
00:39:31,550 --> 00:39:34,318
- Like, I don't know too much about girls
711
00:39:34,318 --> 00:39:37,070
and all that stuff, but--
- They do not do that shit.
712
00:39:37,070 --> 00:39:39,617
- So they can't give
birth the hedge clippers.
713
00:39:39,617 --> 00:39:40,877
- No, no.
714
00:39:41,950 --> 00:39:42,783
- Are you sure?
715
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,110
- 99.9% positive.
716
00:39:46,110 --> 00:39:48,460
- 'Cause she looked like
she could handle that.
717
00:39:49,642 --> 00:39:52,230
Maybe it's the afterbirth.
718
00:39:52,230 --> 00:39:53,063
I don't know.
719
00:39:53,063 --> 00:39:56,670
Well anyways, we all know that
720
00:39:56,670 --> 00:39:59,750
our religious differences
in this country can get
721
00:39:59,750 --> 00:40:01,836
pretty heated and stuff.
- Crazy.
722
00:40:01,836 --> 00:40:03,620
- But remember that we're all people,
723
00:40:03,620 --> 00:40:07,760
just trying to find an answer, happiness.
724
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:09,920
Or some shit like that,
I don't really know.
725
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:11,633
- Hopefully.
- Anyway.
726
00:40:11,633 --> 00:40:12,466
A fucking chihuahua got eaten.
727
00:40:12,466 --> 00:40:14,010
- And also, next time a Jehovah's Witness
728
00:40:14,010 --> 00:40:16,037
comes to our freakin' door.
- Yo quiero Taco Bell.
729
00:40:16,037 --> 00:40:17,541
Yo quiero perro.
730
00:40:17,541 --> 00:40:18,720
- You take the flyer.
731
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:19,553
- I will.
732
00:40:19,553 --> 00:40:22,130
I will take that flyer and be like,
733
00:40:22,130 --> 00:40:25,020
give me a chihuahua.
734
00:40:25,020 --> 00:40:27,298
'Cause yo quiero perro.
735
00:40:27,298 --> 00:40:29,197
Yo quiero perro.
736
00:40:29,197 --> 00:40:30,559
Yo quiero perro.
737
00:40:30,559 --> 00:40:31,547
Yo quiero perro, perro perro.
738
00:40:33,717 --> 00:40:34,550
- Okay, put in the next god damn tape.
739
00:40:34,550 --> 00:40:35,533
- Alright alright alright.
740
00:40:36,437 --> 00:40:37,700
- [Jill] I am so glad that wasn't a porno.
741
00:40:37,700 --> 00:40:39,093
- [Nick] Fatal fantasy.
742
00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:42,559
It's a little sticky, too.
- [Jill] It has blood on it.
743
00:40:42,559 --> 00:40:44,003
- [Nick] Yeah, oh, that's blood.
744
00:40:45,820 --> 00:40:47,990
- [Jill] I wonder whose it is.
745
00:40:47,990 --> 00:40:49,720
- [Nick] Well whoever it is,
746
00:40:49,720 --> 00:40:51,839
I hope they don't have AIDS.
747
00:40:51,839 --> 00:40:53,877
(laughing)
748
00:40:53,877 --> 00:40:55,553
'Cause that would be a little--
749
00:40:55,553 --> 00:40:56,750
- [Jill] Oh god, dude.
750
00:40:56,750 --> 00:40:58,370
- Yeah, I can definitely--
751
00:40:58,370 --> 00:41:00,420
That person definitely doesn't have AIDS.
752
00:41:01,759 --> 00:41:03,810
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
- [Jill] Stop it.
753
00:41:03,810 --> 00:41:06,240
Stop it, that's gross.
- [Nick] I'm like 80% sure
754
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:08,517
that person doesn't have AIDS.
- [Jill] This is why
755
00:41:08,517 --> 00:41:10,317
your girlfriend left you.
756
00:41:10,317 --> 00:41:11,350
- [Nick] No, it's because
of the Prince Albert.
757
00:41:11,350 --> 00:41:12,510
We've already been through this.
758
00:41:12,510 --> 00:41:15,074
Don't bring up bad things, okay?
759
00:41:15,074 --> 00:41:16,671
- [Jill] Okay.
760
00:41:16,671 --> 00:41:18,437
- [Nick] I'll Fatal Fantasy you.
761
00:41:18,437 --> 00:41:19,977
- [Jill] Put in the movie.
762
00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:22,894
(machine clicking)
763
00:41:24,981 --> 00:41:27,398
(squelching)
764
00:41:42,659 --> 00:41:47,659
(muffled breathing)
(heart beating)
765
00:41:58,341 --> 00:42:00,841
(eerie music)
766
00:42:04,339 --> 00:42:08,839
(screaming)
(hacking)
767
00:42:24,357 --> 00:42:26,538
(squelching)
768
00:42:26,538 --> 00:42:28,992
(ominous music)
769
00:42:28,992 --> 00:42:32,742
(classic instrumental music)
770
00:42:54,188 --> 00:42:55,846
(dog barking)
771
00:42:55,846 --> 00:42:57,329
- [Woman] Shut up.
772
00:42:57,329 --> 00:42:58,162
Shut up.
773
00:42:59,610 --> 00:43:00,520
Hi honey.
774
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:01,810
Hi, happy birthday.
775
00:43:01,810 --> 00:43:03,310
I love you so much.
776
00:43:03,310 --> 00:43:05,620
I know you've had such a hard day at work,
777
00:43:05,620 --> 00:43:08,170
and I want to make it all better for you,
778
00:43:08,170 --> 00:43:10,997
so I have got some
birthday surprises for you.
779
00:43:10,997 --> 00:43:12,605
And it's gonna make it all better.
780
00:43:12,605 --> 00:43:16,355
(playful instrumental music)
781
00:44:00,262 --> 00:44:03,512
(romantic piano music)
782
00:44:49,140 --> 00:44:51,440
- That was an amazing dinner.
783
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,690
I've never had anything
quite like it before.
784
00:45:06,020 --> 00:45:07,070
What did you call it?
785
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:21,643
- I call it Mu Shu Surprise.
786
00:45:22,899 --> 00:45:23,732
- Mm.
787
00:45:26,136 --> 00:45:27,473
Mu Shu.
788
00:45:28,874 --> 00:45:30,283
- I'm glad you like it.
789
00:45:30,283 --> 00:45:32,410
Because I have a few more surprises
790
00:45:32,410 --> 00:45:33,660
in store for you tonight.
791
00:45:35,436 --> 00:45:36,755
- You do?
792
00:45:36,755 --> 00:45:38,290
- Mm hmm.
793
00:45:38,290 --> 00:45:41,256
- You are the best wife ever.
794
00:45:41,256 --> 00:45:42,089
- Oh.
795
00:45:42,089 --> 00:45:43,593
- I love you so much.
796
00:45:44,812 --> 00:45:45,645
- Well I love you more.
797
00:45:49,278 --> 00:45:51,336
- No, I believe I love you more.
798
00:45:51,336 --> 00:45:52,339
- No, I love you more.
799
00:45:52,339 --> 00:45:53,459
- No, I love you.
- No, I love you more.
800
00:45:53,459 --> 00:45:55,055
- Let the record show, I love you more.
801
00:45:55,055 --> 00:45:57,730
(laughing)
802
00:45:57,730 --> 00:45:59,050
- I love you more.
803
00:45:59,050 --> 00:46:00,878
You wanna know why?
804
00:46:00,878 --> 00:46:01,711
- Why?
805
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:12,630
- I've fulfilled your
greatest fantasy for you.
806
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:14,863
- You did?
807
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:18,253
What did you do?
808
00:46:21,230 --> 00:46:24,153
Did you book the trip to Sonoma?
809
00:46:26,580 --> 00:46:31,217
Or, was it the walking
tour of Washington D.C.?
810
00:46:40,638 --> 00:46:42,805
Did you buy me a sailboat?
811
00:46:47,356 --> 00:46:48,189
- No.
812
00:46:54,499 --> 00:46:55,332
I,
813
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:59,383
I had sex with another man.
814
00:47:00,478 --> 00:47:01,475
(laughing)
815
00:47:01,475 --> 00:47:02,308
- What?
816
00:47:04,718 --> 00:47:07,990
- I had sex with another
man, just like you wanted.
817
00:47:07,990 --> 00:47:09,395
- When did I ever say
818
00:47:09,395 --> 00:47:12,433
I want you to have sex with another man?
819
00:47:13,598 --> 00:47:15,348
- In bed the other night, remember?
820
00:47:16,220 --> 00:47:17,053
- No.
821
00:47:19,540 --> 00:47:21,090
- Should I refresh your memory?
822
00:47:28,076 --> 00:47:30,238
(moaning)
823
00:47:30,238 --> 00:47:33,050
Oh yeah baby, that's it, that's it.
824
00:47:33,050 --> 00:47:34,210
I see you.
825
00:47:34,210 --> 00:47:35,653
I'm looking at you.
826
00:47:36,696 --> 00:47:39,916
You're having sex with a
big dangerous stranger,
827
00:47:39,916 --> 00:47:41,940
and I'm watching, I'm
watching, I'm watching.
828
00:47:41,940 --> 00:47:43,459
Yeah yeah.
829
00:47:43,459 --> 00:47:45,311
(grunting)
830
00:47:45,311 --> 00:47:46,144
Yeah.
831
00:47:48,393 --> 00:47:49,392
Remember?
832
00:47:49,392 --> 00:47:52,913
- Yeah, that was fantasy.
833
00:47:54,350 --> 00:47:58,193
A dark twisted filthy fantasy.
834
00:48:00,256 --> 00:48:01,393
We all have those from time to time.
835
00:48:03,379 --> 00:48:05,678
I understand it's very normal.
836
00:48:05,678 --> 00:48:07,043
It doesn't mean I wanted you to do it.
837
00:48:11,150 --> 00:48:12,155
(ominous music)
838
00:48:12,155 --> 00:48:13,697
You mean to tell me the first
time I open my mouth in bed,
839
00:48:15,370 --> 00:48:16,953
you decide to do it?
840
00:48:19,310 --> 00:48:21,993
And then you use it as
an excuse to cheat on me.
841
00:48:23,875 --> 00:48:26,456
- I wasn't cheating on you.
842
00:48:26,456 --> 00:48:28,956
I was fulfilling your fantasy.
843
00:48:31,151 --> 00:48:33,318
(weeping)
844
00:48:34,620 --> 00:48:36,003
- Oh please don't cry.
845
00:48:38,878 --> 00:48:40,693
I hate it when you cry.
846
00:48:48,748 --> 00:48:49,993
Sweetie.
847
00:48:52,508 --> 00:48:55,258
- I did it exactly as you wanted.
848
00:48:56,550 --> 00:48:58,210
You said a big dangerous stranger.
849
00:48:58,210 --> 00:48:59,940
So I walked the streets late one night,
850
00:48:59,940 --> 00:49:01,500
and I found a 300 pound biker
851
00:49:01,500 --> 00:49:02,920
with a violent criminal record,
852
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:03,970
and that wasn't easy.
853
00:49:05,250 --> 00:49:06,167
- Oh honey.
854
00:49:10,270 --> 00:49:11,977
Okay this is a joke, right?
855
00:49:14,370 --> 00:49:16,920
'Cause you know, technically I did say,
856
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,117
I wanted to watch, you know.
857
00:49:22,130 --> 00:49:24,130
But I don't see any men.
858
00:49:26,070 --> 00:49:26,903
- I taped it.
859
00:49:28,988 --> 00:49:29,821
- Oh shit.
860
00:49:32,231 --> 00:49:33,064
- Yeah.
861
00:49:34,020 --> 00:49:35,243
Happy birthday.
862
00:49:36,426 --> 00:49:37,259
- Shit.
863
00:49:42,789 --> 00:49:44,860
Don't play it.
864
00:49:44,860 --> 00:49:45,913
Don't play it.
865
00:49:49,090 --> 00:49:51,548
(moaning)
866
00:49:51,548 --> 00:49:52,967
- [Woman] Yes.
867
00:49:52,967 --> 00:49:54,153
- Oh god, oh, oh.
- [Woman] Yes, spank me.
868
00:49:55,831 --> 00:49:56,664
Spank me.
869
00:49:59,708 --> 00:50:00,711
Oh yes.
870
00:50:00,711 --> 00:50:01,708
Use this.
871
00:50:01,708 --> 00:50:03,225
- Oh god it's my bowling trophy.
872
00:50:03,225 --> 00:50:05,447
(moaning)
873
00:50:05,447 --> 00:50:06,280
Stop this.
874
00:50:08,348 --> 00:50:10,181
Damn you, stop, geeze.
875
00:50:12,265 --> 00:50:14,988
(ominous music)
876
00:50:14,988 --> 00:50:18,930
This is crazy and sick,
877
00:50:18,930 --> 00:50:21,293
and not a good birthday present.
878
00:50:23,763 --> 00:50:25,127
See, it's broken.
879
00:50:25,127 --> 00:50:27,287
(grunting)
880
00:50:27,287 --> 00:50:29,954
(tape smashing)
881
00:50:46,605 --> 00:50:47,438
Die.
882
00:50:53,367 --> 00:50:54,585
- You didn't even get to the part
883
00:50:54,585 --> 00:50:56,835
where I say happy birthday.
884
00:50:58,046 --> 00:50:58,879
- What?
885
00:51:02,542 --> 00:51:03,973
This is crazy.
886
00:51:05,230 --> 00:51:06,073
This is crazy.
887
00:51:08,620 --> 00:51:09,453
Am I in a dream?
888
00:51:10,370 --> 00:51:13,170
Why would you take everything
I say so literally, honey?
889
00:51:14,471 --> 00:51:16,210
(phone ringing)
890
00:51:16,210 --> 00:51:18,188
Am I on candid fucking camera?
891
00:51:18,188 --> 00:51:19,021
Am I?
892
00:51:20,327 --> 00:51:21,280
Good one.
893
00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:22,427
Very funny, ha.
894
00:51:30,448 --> 00:51:31,868
Hello?
895
00:51:31,868 --> 00:51:33,570
Allen Phunt.
896
00:51:33,570 --> 00:51:36,310
(laughing)
897
00:51:36,310 --> 00:51:39,293
No, I haven't seen your
little fucking dog.
898
00:51:41,010 --> 00:51:41,843
But if I do--
899
00:51:43,690 --> 00:51:46,140
Don't you talk to me like
that, it's my birthday.
900
00:51:47,111 --> 00:51:49,060
Fine.
901
00:51:49,060 --> 00:51:51,033
Shows you, I will go fuck myself.
902
00:51:52,247 --> 00:51:54,013
Yeah, well.
903
00:51:57,111 --> 00:51:58,028
He hung up.
904
00:52:01,207 --> 00:52:03,570
- What was that all about?
905
00:52:03,570 --> 00:52:06,633
- [Man] It was the neighbor
looking for his little dog.
906
00:52:08,090 --> 00:52:09,363
- You mean Mu Shu?
907
00:52:10,868 --> 00:52:12,450
- Yeah, Mu Shu.
908
00:52:14,664 --> 00:52:17,036
(ominous music)
909
00:52:17,036 --> 00:52:19,363
(dog barking)
910
00:52:19,363 --> 00:52:20,780
God damn, Mu Shu.
911
00:52:21,820 --> 00:52:23,983
Oh, oh, oh, no.
912
00:52:25,467 --> 00:52:26,300
Mu Shu.
913
00:52:26,300 --> 00:52:28,217
Kick your four-legged little puppy ass.
914
00:52:30,988 --> 00:52:35,988
Surprise.
(dog whining)
915
00:52:43,890 --> 00:52:46,390
(dog whining)
916
00:52:52,673 --> 00:52:54,330
Oh god.
917
00:52:54,330 --> 00:52:55,293
Oh god.
918
00:52:57,570 --> 00:52:59,737
(gagging)
919
00:53:09,591 --> 00:53:11,967
You mean to tell me that you killed--
920
00:53:18,925 --> 00:53:20,213
And I ate?
921
00:53:21,050 --> 00:53:23,380
- Well yeah, but I mean, you said--
922
00:53:23,380 --> 00:53:24,430
- I know what I said.
923
00:53:25,865 --> 00:53:27,448
I know what I said.
924
00:53:29,486 --> 00:53:31,600
But when I did say I wanted to chop him up
925
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:34,453
and serve him Asian style,
926
00:53:35,410 --> 00:53:37,630
it was because he took a steaming shit
927
00:53:37,630 --> 00:53:39,423
on our front porch, honey.
928
00:53:40,350 --> 00:53:41,563
I was just venting.
929
00:53:54,567 --> 00:53:56,650
(crying)
930
00:54:01,110 --> 00:54:01,943
Oh baby.
931
00:54:04,188 --> 00:54:05,021
Sweetie.
932
00:54:06,525 --> 00:54:07,790
I know.
933
00:54:07,790 --> 00:54:08,623
- I was just,
934
00:54:09,790 --> 00:54:12,447
trying to make you happy, you know?
935
00:54:13,388 --> 00:54:14,623
- I know.
936
00:54:16,460 --> 00:54:18,500
I'm hard to buy gifts for, I know.
937
00:54:20,325 --> 00:54:21,158
- You are.
938
00:54:24,793 --> 00:54:26,190
But, I think I know something
939
00:54:26,190 --> 00:54:27,640
that'll make you feel better.
940
00:54:29,228 --> 00:54:30,244
- Huh?
941
00:54:30,244 --> 00:54:31,260
- Yeah, just wait right there, okay?
942
00:54:31,260 --> 00:54:32,210
I'll be right back.
943
00:54:43,944 --> 00:54:46,640
(ominous music)
944
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:48,123
- What's that, dear?
945
00:54:48,123 --> 00:54:49,603
- It's your boss's heart.
946
00:54:51,610 --> 00:54:52,533
- My boss's heart.
947
00:54:53,948 --> 00:54:55,249
(eerie music)
948
00:54:55,249 --> 00:54:56,082
On a silver--
949
00:55:00,049 --> 00:55:01,064
- But you said.
950
00:55:01,064 --> 00:55:02,814
- I know what I said.
951
00:55:16,433 --> 00:55:17,266
God, honey.
952
00:55:18,900 --> 00:55:22,393
That is the best birthday present ever.
953
00:55:23,590 --> 00:55:25,253
- [Woman] Wait 'til Valentine's.
954
00:55:26,487 --> 00:55:30,071
(screaming)
(dog barking)
955
00:55:30,071 --> 00:55:33,071
(light piano music)
956
00:55:37,860 --> 00:55:42,160
- Alright, so I've seen a lot
of dogs getting eaten today.
957
00:55:42,160 --> 00:55:43,680
More than one, like two.
958
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:46,231
This is getting to be a trend, you know.
959
00:55:46,231 --> 00:55:47,560
Do you think they do that more?
960
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:48,937
Like I bet they just--
- I don't care about
961
00:55:48,937 --> 00:55:50,160
the humans getting killed,
962
00:55:50,160 --> 00:55:52,410
but why the animals?
963
00:55:52,410 --> 00:55:54,151
- The animals, they did nothing.
964
00:55:54,151 --> 00:55:55,447
- Really.
- They did nothing.
965
00:55:55,447 --> 00:55:56,967
- That dog was annoying, but come on.
966
00:55:56,967 --> 00:55:59,351
- I mean, he barks, he barks.
- He barks, it's a dog thing.
967
00:55:59,351 --> 00:56:02,850
- But you know, it brings
up a very interesting point
968
00:56:02,850 --> 00:56:05,600
that I think where, you know,
the elephant in the room.
969
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,110
Dog must taste really good.
970
00:56:07,110 --> 00:56:08,790
'Cause the people are
just wolfing 'em down
971
00:56:08,790 --> 00:56:11,969
like they're Burger King going
out of style or something,
972
00:56:11,969 --> 00:56:13,130
you know what I'm saying?
973
00:56:13,130 --> 00:56:13,963
Just like--
974
00:56:14,807 --> 00:56:15,640
- I don't wanna think about it.
975
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,823
- I bet it tastes like
pig and chicken, combined.
976
00:56:20,727 --> 00:56:21,870
- You better not do anything to my dog
977
00:56:21,870 --> 00:56:24,160
when we eventually get home.
978
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:26,220
- Let me just say that man's best friend
979
00:56:26,220 --> 00:56:28,640
must taste amazing.
980
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:31,963
But anyways.
- Also, that wife is
981
00:56:31,963 --> 00:56:33,890
a really attached wife.
982
00:56:33,890 --> 00:56:37,010
- She was, I think that's
what a wife should be.
983
00:56:37,010 --> 00:56:39,246
Someone who listens.
- Not that attached.
984
00:56:39,246 --> 00:56:40,079
- Listens.
985
00:56:40,079 --> 00:56:42,260
No, you listen, you listen.
- Yes, but don't take
986
00:56:42,260 --> 00:56:45,460
literally everything that you say as true,
987
00:56:45,460 --> 00:56:47,460
as what they exactly want.
988
00:56:47,460 --> 00:56:49,100
Literally.
989
00:56:49,100 --> 00:56:51,650
- I want your head to be severed,
990
00:56:51,650 --> 00:56:53,760
and put in the oven,
991
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,850
and mixed with potatoes and rosemary.
992
00:56:56,850 --> 00:56:59,280
And I want to take that head,
993
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,380
and then use it as a soccer ball.
994
00:57:01,380 --> 00:57:03,630
But first, I will crack it open,
995
00:57:03,630 --> 00:57:05,350
and put ice cream in there,
996
00:57:05,350 --> 00:57:08,610
and use your head to mix ice cream with.
997
00:57:08,610 --> 00:57:10,500
You know those little
like soccer ball ones
998
00:57:10,500 --> 00:57:13,409
to mix it so it turns.
- Mm, ice cream.
999
00:57:13,409 --> 00:57:14,407
- The turners.
1000
00:57:14,407 --> 00:57:15,330
I'm gonna turn ice cream in your head.
1001
00:57:15,330 --> 00:57:17,020
See?
- Yeah, not gonna happen.
1002
00:57:17,020 --> 00:57:18,190
- I think it will.
1003
00:57:18,190 --> 00:57:20,140
You know, trends are coming up these days,
1004
00:57:20,140 --> 00:57:21,970
and I think the next one,
1005
00:57:21,970 --> 00:57:24,610
I think the next meme is
gonna be head ice cream.
1006
00:57:24,610 --> 00:57:26,940
Scream for ice cream.
- That actually sounds yummy.
1007
00:57:26,940 --> 00:57:30,439
Except for not using my head.
(screeching)
1008
00:57:30,439 --> 00:57:33,058
- Well anyways.
1009
00:57:33,058 --> 00:57:34,453
- I wonder whose blood that is now.
1010
00:57:36,098 --> 00:57:38,057
- Pretty sure it's--
1011
00:57:39,545 --> 00:57:40,551
(sniffing)
1012
00:57:40,551 --> 00:57:41,610
- Oh, stop doing the creepy thing again.
1013
00:57:41,610 --> 00:57:43,040
- It's not creepy.
1014
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,880
It's called being a detective, okay?
1015
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:47,207
Oliver North used to do it all the time.
1016
00:57:47,207 --> 00:57:49,271
- Okay, normal detectives
don't sniff blood.
1017
00:57:49,271 --> 00:57:50,327
- Yes they do.
- No they don't.
1018
00:57:50,327 --> 00:57:52,740
- That's 20% of how they
find out who killed who.
1019
00:57:52,740 --> 00:57:54,290
- B.S.
1020
00:57:54,290 --> 00:57:55,320
- Yeah, I know.
1021
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:58,053
But he was a good poet.
1022
00:57:59,870 --> 00:58:01,767
Oh.
- This is so why
1023
00:58:01,767 --> 00:58:04,110
your girlfriend left you,
not just the Prince Albert.
1024
00:58:04,110 --> 00:58:06,103
- Yeah, well you know what?
1025
00:58:06,103 --> 00:58:07,283
You're here with me.
1026
00:58:07,283 --> 00:58:08,350
So what happened to your boyfriend?
1027
00:58:08,350 --> 00:58:10,603
Couldn't take the constant nagging?
1028
00:58:12,890 --> 00:58:15,810
- You know he left to go to a job
1029
00:58:15,810 --> 00:58:17,390
on the other side of the country.
1030
00:58:17,390 --> 00:58:21,240
- Yeah, that job was sucking a guy's dick.
1031
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:23,065
That's what that was.
- Go fuck yourself.
1032
00:58:23,065 --> 00:58:24,500
Next movie.
1033
00:58:24,500 --> 00:58:26,653
- You're called what
they call fruit flies.
1034
00:58:28,920 --> 00:58:30,887
I can't, I gotta.
- [Jill] Let's do it.
1035
00:58:30,887 --> 00:58:32,369
- [Nick] Let's just dig another one.
1036
00:58:32,369 --> 00:58:33,520
Let's get into this one.
1037
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:34,353
- [Both] Sane.
1038
00:58:34,353 --> 00:58:35,969
- [Nick] Or is that s--
1039
00:58:35,969 --> 00:58:36,880
Sane.
- [Jill] I think it's Sane.
1040
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:37,987
- [Nick] The story of the boredom killer.
1041
00:58:37,987 --> 00:58:40,250
Or is that Bardem killer?
1042
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:42,167
Like Javier Bardem, maybe it's him?
1043
00:58:42,167 --> 00:58:44,028
(laughing)
1044
00:58:44,028 --> 00:58:45,429
- [Jill] I don't know, but
I hope it isn't boring.
1045
00:58:45,429 --> 00:58:46,487
- [Nick] Oh.
1046
00:58:46,487 --> 00:58:48,071
I can trust you, it's not gonna be boring.
1047
00:58:48,071 --> 00:58:49,654
- [Jill] Put it in.
1048
00:58:52,904 --> 00:58:55,821
(machine clicking)
1049
00:59:36,902 --> 00:59:38,961
- [Keith] I like.
1050
00:59:38,961 --> 00:59:39,878
I like you.
1051
00:59:44,817 --> 00:59:46,400
I like to kill you.
1052
00:59:52,561 --> 00:59:53,977
To kill.
1053
00:59:53,977 --> 00:59:57,158
- [Miles] Turn on night vision.
1054
00:59:57,158 --> 00:59:57,991
Is it on?
1055
00:59:57,991 --> 00:59:59,298
- [Keith] Yeah, yeah.
1056
00:59:59,298 --> 01:00:00,401
- [Miles] Alright, let's go.
1057
01:00:00,401 --> 01:00:01,958
You got the rope, right?
1058
01:00:01,958 --> 01:00:03,078
- [Keith] Yeah, it's right here.
1059
01:00:03,078 --> 01:00:03,911
- [Miles] Fuck you, let's go.
1060
01:00:03,911 --> 01:00:04,744
- Bitch.
1061
01:00:09,731 --> 01:00:12,014
Man, how's it going?
1062
01:00:12,014 --> 01:00:13,347
- Not much, man.
1063
01:00:14,873 --> 01:00:17,110
What are you guys making a movie?
1064
01:00:17,110 --> 01:00:19,310
- [Miles] Yeah man, we're
just interviewing people.
1065
01:00:19,310 --> 01:00:20,340
You got anything to say?
1066
01:00:20,340 --> 01:00:22,580
- Relationship problems.
1067
01:00:22,580 --> 01:00:25,350
- [Miles] I've had some
relationship problems before.
1068
01:00:25,350 --> 01:00:26,873
It'll be okay.
1069
01:00:26,873 --> 01:00:27,810
- [Man] Uh uh.
1070
01:00:27,810 --> 01:00:29,990
- [Miles] It'll be fine, I promise.
1071
01:00:29,990 --> 01:00:30,823
- Not for me.
1072
01:00:30,823 --> 01:00:32,010
- [Miles] It's gonna be just fine.
1073
01:00:32,010 --> 01:00:33,950
- Hey man, I ain't fucking queer.
1074
01:00:33,950 --> 01:00:38,950
(all yelling)
(heavy rock music)
1075
01:00:57,371 --> 01:01:00,465
- [Keith] Fucking hurry up, man.
1076
01:01:00,465 --> 01:01:01,859
Fucking bitch, come on.
1077
01:01:01,859 --> 01:01:03,585
- [Miles] Come on.
1078
01:01:03,585 --> 01:01:04,902
- [Keith] Fucking asshole.
1079
01:01:04,902 --> 01:01:06,723
(gagging)
1080
01:01:06,723 --> 01:01:07,556
Come on.
1081
01:01:13,109 --> 01:01:15,109
Fucking bitch.
1082
01:01:15,109 --> 01:01:15,942
Get him.
1083
01:01:16,903 --> 01:01:18,020
Fucking kill him.
1084
01:01:18,020 --> 01:01:20,103
Pull, you weak mother fucker, come on.
1085
01:01:22,090 --> 01:01:23,257
Fucking bitch.
1086
01:01:24,848 --> 01:01:25,681
Fucking.
1087
01:01:29,173 --> 01:01:31,448
- [Miles] Can't you get him any higher?
1088
01:01:31,448 --> 01:01:32,281
Come on, bitch.
1089
01:01:33,267 --> 01:01:34,264
- You fucking pull.
1090
01:01:34,264 --> 01:01:35,266
Give me the fucking camera.
1091
01:01:35,266 --> 01:01:36,265
- [Miles] No.
1092
01:01:36,265 --> 01:01:37,269
- [Keith] Fucking pussy.
1093
01:01:37,269 --> 01:01:38,602
- [Miles] Right.
1094
01:01:42,906 --> 01:01:45,045
(laughing)
1095
01:01:45,045 --> 01:01:47,128
(wooing)
1096
01:01:53,530 --> 01:01:54,363
- [Keith] Bitch.
1097
01:01:54,363 --> 01:01:56,346
- [Miles] Drop him, man, drop him.
1098
01:01:56,346 --> 01:01:57,584
Drop him, he's fucking dead.
1099
01:01:57,584 --> 01:01:59,834
(laughing)
1100
01:02:01,866 --> 01:02:02,950
- [Keith] Are you sure he's dead?
1101
01:02:02,950 --> 01:02:04,923
- [Miles] He's fucking dead, man.
1102
01:02:04,923 --> 01:02:06,266
- [Miles] He's pretty dead.
1103
01:02:06,266 --> 01:02:07,099
Good man.
1104
01:02:08,816 --> 01:02:13,816
(eerie music)
(train rushing)
1105
01:02:21,786 --> 01:02:24,786
(upbeat rock music)
1106
01:02:50,607 --> 01:02:53,024
It says, woman to kill woman,
1107
01:02:58,149 --> 01:02:59,316
must be woman.
1108
01:03:04,229 --> 01:03:05,396
To kill a man.
1109
01:03:06,950 --> 01:03:08,003
I'll be a woman.
1110
01:03:09,508 --> 01:03:10,341
I am a woman.
1111
01:03:11,813 --> 01:03:12,870
Look at me.
1112
01:03:12,870 --> 01:03:15,087
- Do you pity this pretty little face?
1113
01:03:15,087 --> 01:03:17,121
- [Miles] So pretty.
- No.
1114
01:03:17,121 --> 01:03:19,371
(growling)
1115
01:03:24,149 --> 01:03:25,725
Come on.
1116
01:03:25,725 --> 01:03:28,392
(door creaking)
1117
01:03:38,426 --> 01:03:39,259
So pretty.
1118
01:03:40,127 --> 01:03:43,627
(fast forward squelching)
1119
01:03:51,099 --> 01:03:52,016
Movie star.
1120
01:03:53,386 --> 01:03:55,636
(shushing)
1121
01:03:59,967 --> 01:04:04,467
(smashing)
(growling)
1122
01:04:55,239 --> 01:04:58,098
- [Miles] What are you doing?
1123
01:04:58,098 --> 01:04:59,378
(demonic screeching)
1124
01:04:59,378 --> 01:05:00,698
Alright.
1125
01:05:00,698 --> 01:05:03,448
(shower running)
1126
01:05:11,719 --> 01:05:14,781
(demonic screeching)
1127
01:05:14,781 --> 01:05:17,031
(shushing)
1128
01:05:41,578 --> 01:05:44,661
(demonic screeching)
1129
01:05:51,356 --> 01:05:52,856
Go go go, come on.
1130
01:05:54,017 --> 01:05:55,015
- [Keith] You.
1131
01:05:55,015 --> 01:05:56,017
- [Miles] Yeah.
1132
01:05:56,017 --> 01:05:57,756
Fucking bitch pushed me.
1133
01:05:57,756 --> 01:06:00,190
(shushing)
1134
01:06:00,190 --> 01:06:03,153
Come here, come here, wait.
1135
01:06:03,153 --> 01:06:04,236
Hide in this.
1136
01:06:08,652 --> 01:06:10,615
Ready?
1137
01:06:10,615 --> 01:06:11,865
Wait wait wait.
1138
01:06:13,949 --> 01:06:15,335
Go, go.
1139
01:06:15,335 --> 01:06:17,470
(hardcore rock music)
1140
01:06:17,470 --> 01:06:19,720
(growling)
1141
01:06:20,993 --> 01:06:23,160
(yelling)
1142
01:06:27,276 --> 01:06:29,470
That's it, that's it.
1143
01:06:29,470 --> 01:06:31,637
Yeah that's it, that's it.
1144
01:06:33,633 --> 01:06:34,466
Go go.
1145
01:06:34,466 --> 01:06:37,208
- [Woman] Get off of me.
1146
01:06:37,208 --> 01:06:39,541
(screaming)
1147
01:07:02,456 --> 01:07:04,706
(grunting)
1148
01:07:06,255 --> 01:07:08,422
(yelling)
1149
01:07:09,304 --> 01:07:11,261
- [Miles] You're done, apparently.
1150
01:07:11,261 --> 01:07:12,664
Are you gonna kill her?
1151
01:07:12,664 --> 01:07:13,661
- [Keith] Huh?
1152
01:07:13,661 --> 01:07:15,336
- [Miles] You're gonna kill her.
1153
01:07:15,336 --> 01:07:16,483
- [Keith] I did it, though.
1154
01:07:16,483 --> 01:07:18,024
- [Woman] Oh my god, oh my god.
1155
01:07:18,024 --> 01:07:19,266
He's gonna kill me.
1156
01:07:19,266 --> 01:07:21,849
- [Miles] That's it, that's it.
1157
01:07:22,885 --> 01:07:25,826
(chatting drowned out by music)
1158
01:07:25,826 --> 01:07:28,967
- [Miles] Use a fucking knife, man.
1159
01:07:28,967 --> 01:07:31,986
(chatting drowned out by music)
1160
01:07:31,986 --> 01:07:33,266
- [Miles] You want the sword?
1161
01:07:33,266 --> 01:07:34,821
- [Woman] Get off of me.
1162
01:07:34,821 --> 01:07:37,040
- [Keith] God damn it.
1163
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:39,216
Can't fight off that.
1164
01:07:39,216 --> 01:07:40,775
- [Miles] This one?
1165
01:07:40,775 --> 01:07:45,442
(growling)
(screeching)
1166
01:07:46,528 --> 01:07:49,361
(hard rock music)
1167
01:08:04,288 --> 01:08:06,955
(ominous music)
1168
01:08:08,229 --> 01:08:12,479
(fast forwarded voices chattering)
1169
01:08:17,564 --> 01:08:21,147
(slowed voices chattering)
1170
01:08:31,669 --> 01:08:36,208
(growling)
(screeching)
1171
01:08:36,208 --> 01:08:37,458
- And even when I'm gone.
1172
01:08:40,286 --> 01:08:41,690
I ain't got no more.
1173
01:08:44,709 --> 01:08:45,542
No more.
1174
01:08:47,786 --> 01:08:48,619
I'm gone.
1175
01:08:51,130 --> 01:08:51,963
I am gone.
1176
01:08:57,669 --> 01:08:58,502
I'm gone.
1177
01:09:01,029 --> 01:09:02,112
And I'm gone.
1178
01:09:06,567 --> 01:09:07,400
Bye bye.
1179
01:09:09,530 --> 01:09:12,633
I will see you later.
1180
01:09:15,888 --> 01:09:18,138
(mumbling)
1181
01:09:19,880 --> 01:09:20,980
Guy, here's the money.
1182
01:09:22,789 --> 01:09:24,090
I'm gonna kill you.
1183
01:09:24,090 --> 01:09:25,968
I'm gonna kill you.
1184
01:09:25,968 --> 01:09:28,309
I'm gonna kill you.
1185
01:09:28,309 --> 01:09:30,453
Come on, man.
1186
01:09:32,026 --> 01:09:33,930
Come on, I will kill somebody.
1187
01:09:33,930 --> 01:09:36,309
I'm gonna kill somebody.
1188
01:09:36,309 --> 01:09:37,669
I'm gonna go kill somebody.
1189
01:09:37,669 --> 01:09:38,583
(growling)
1190
01:09:38,583 --> 01:09:42,780
I'm gonna kill, I'm gonna kill your mama.
1191
01:09:42,780 --> 01:09:44,350
I'm gonna kill your baby.
1192
01:09:44,350 --> 01:09:46,090
- Who are you gonna kill?
1193
01:09:46,090 --> 01:09:47,210
- I'm gonna kill.
1194
01:09:47,210 --> 01:09:48,309
- [Keith] Who are we gonna kill?
1195
01:09:48,309 --> 01:09:50,627
- Dude, I'm gonna kill somebody.
1196
01:09:50,627 --> 01:09:53,805
I'm gonna kill a whole bunch of people.
1197
01:09:53,805 --> 01:09:55,029
- [Keith] Who's first, who's first?
1198
01:09:55,029 --> 01:09:56,448
- I'm gonna fuck 'em up.
1199
01:09:56,448 --> 01:09:57,829
You're gonna fuck me up?
1200
01:09:57,829 --> 01:09:59,269
I'm gonna fuck you.
1201
01:09:59,269 --> 01:10:01,027
You wanna fuck me while I'm killing you?
1202
01:10:01,027 --> 01:10:02,309
- [Keith] Hang 'em from a pole.
1203
01:10:02,309 --> 01:10:03,370
- [Miles] Let's hang somebody?
1204
01:10:03,370 --> 01:10:04,368
- Yeah, yeah.
1205
01:10:04,368 --> 01:10:05,201
- Let's hang that dumb mother fucker
1206
01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:06,420
who's always depressed, dude.
1207
01:10:06,420 --> 01:10:07,253
He ain't gonna care.
1208
01:10:07,253 --> 01:10:09,930
You need to put him out of
his fucking misery, man.
1209
01:10:09,930 --> 01:10:12,224
- [Keith] Freaking crying
about his stupid girlfriend.
1210
01:10:12,224 --> 01:10:14,940
I hate that guy, I hate that guy.
1211
01:10:14,940 --> 01:10:16,540
I wanna fucking kill.
1212
01:10:16,540 --> 01:10:17,373
I'm gonna kill him.
1213
01:10:17,373 --> 01:10:18,970
I'm gonna eat him alive.
1214
01:10:18,970 --> 01:10:20,328
I'm gonna eat him, I'm gonna eat him.
1215
01:10:20,328 --> 01:10:21,161
I'm gonna eat him.
1216
01:10:21,161 --> 01:10:22,380
I'm gonna hang your fucking camera, too.
1217
01:10:22,380 --> 01:10:23,300
- Come on, man, come on.
1218
01:10:23,300 --> 01:10:24,133
Ahh.
1219
01:10:25,048 --> 01:10:27,280
(laughing)
1220
01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:29,248
Yeah, I wanna fuck my camera.
1221
01:10:29,248 --> 01:10:31,690
Come on baby.
1222
01:10:31,690 --> 01:10:33,589
Come on, come on, give me a kiss.
1223
01:10:33,589 --> 01:10:35,168
Give me a kiss.
- [Keith] Alright let's go.
1224
01:10:35,168 --> 01:10:36,950
- Give me a kiss, give me a kiss.
1225
01:10:36,950 --> 01:10:39,528
Kiss, kiss, give me a kiss.
1226
01:10:39,528 --> 01:10:41,226
- [Keith] I wanna get him.
- Give me a kiss.
1227
01:10:41,226 --> 01:10:42,768
Give me a kiss, come on.
1228
01:10:42,768 --> 01:10:43,989
Give me a kiss.
- [Keith] I'm gonna do it.
1229
01:10:43,989 --> 01:10:45,403
I'm gonna do it.
- Give me a kiss.
1230
01:10:45,403 --> 01:10:47,349
- [Keith] I'm gonna do it.
- [Miles] You wanna fuck me?
1231
01:10:47,349 --> 01:10:48,986
- [Keith] Let's do it, let's go do it.
1232
01:10:48,986 --> 01:10:50,528
- We're killing a man.
1233
01:10:50,528 --> 01:10:51,530
Just give me one little kiss.
1234
01:10:51,530 --> 01:10:52,528
One little kiss.
1235
01:10:52,528 --> 01:10:53,530
Do it, one little kiss.
1236
01:10:53,530 --> 01:10:54,810
One little kiss, man.
1237
01:10:54,810 --> 01:10:56,730
One little kiss, come here, come here.
1238
01:10:56,730 --> 01:10:58,102
(heavy breathing)
1239
01:10:58,102 --> 01:11:01,380
- Now this, this is the
movie that has it all.
1240
01:11:01,380 --> 01:11:03,440
Thrills, chills, everything.
1241
01:11:03,440 --> 01:11:05,260
Rape, you know.
1242
01:11:05,260 --> 01:11:07,745
I mean it looked kinda consensual.
1243
01:11:07,745 --> 01:11:09,648
- Why the hell does he
have that kind of movie?
1244
01:11:09,648 --> 01:11:11,050
- Okay, let's see what's going on here.
1245
01:11:15,850 --> 01:11:17,233
Fatale Error.
1246
01:11:18,890 --> 01:11:19,790
- Fatal Error.
1247
01:11:19,790 --> 01:11:21,720
- No, I believe it's French.
1248
01:11:21,720 --> 01:11:24,320
They missed the accent, but it's French.
1249
01:11:24,320 --> 01:11:25,688
- Oh come on.
1250
01:11:25,688 --> 01:11:27,460
- This is what I'm talking about.
1251
01:11:27,460 --> 01:11:30,490
You just can't, you always
have to undermine everything.
1252
01:11:30,490 --> 01:11:32,284
Alright, well, you know.
- Okay okay fine.
1253
01:11:32,284 --> 01:11:34,593
- Let's go, let's go.
- It will be Fatale Error.
1254
01:11:37,298 --> 01:11:40,215
(machine clicking)
1255
01:11:42,167 --> 01:11:43,167
(squelching)
1256
01:11:43,167 --> 01:11:47,120
(baby crying)
(squelching)
1257
01:11:47,120 --> 01:11:49,690
(vomiting)
(squelching)
1258
01:11:49,690 --> 01:11:51,857
(buzzing)
1259
01:11:53,930 --> 01:11:58,930
(eerie music)
(heavy breathing)
1260
01:12:04,489 --> 01:12:06,822
(screaming)
1261
01:12:20,030 --> 01:12:24,284
(laughing)
(squelching)
1262
01:12:24,284 --> 01:12:27,784
(light suspenseful music)
1263
01:12:31,489 --> 01:12:34,260
- So are you done with Don's
animation project yet, Paul?
1264
01:12:34,260 --> 01:12:35,093
- Almost.
1265
01:12:35,093 --> 01:12:37,510
I have the layout of what I'm doing,
1266
01:12:37,510 --> 01:12:39,260
but it's gonna get tough
when I get to rigging it.
1267
01:12:39,260 --> 01:12:41,350
- Dude, rigging's easy.
1268
01:12:41,350 --> 01:12:43,710
- For you, but for me,
it's still a little tricky.
1269
01:12:43,710 --> 01:12:44,960
- I can help you out.
1270
01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:47,329
- No, I can do it myself.
1271
01:12:47,329 --> 01:12:48,840
- Hey guys.
1272
01:12:48,840 --> 01:12:50,546
You gonna get something to eat?
1273
01:12:50,546 --> 01:12:51,379
- Not all of us.
1274
01:12:51,379 --> 01:12:53,460
Paul is still working on
his animation project.
1275
01:12:53,460 --> 01:12:54,820
- Still working on that?
1276
01:12:54,820 --> 01:12:56,043
Come on, what do you got?
1277
01:12:56,887 --> 01:12:59,453
Looks like a Pac-Man.
1278
01:13:00,380 --> 01:13:03,080
- I like it, but I don't
know what else to do with it.
1279
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:05,410
I know Don won't accept it like this.
1280
01:13:05,410 --> 01:13:07,920
- Don always gives the hardest
projects right off the bat.
1281
01:13:07,920 --> 01:13:11,270
- Hey, why don't you give
him like arms and legs?
1282
01:13:11,270 --> 01:13:13,649
Oh, and claws and fangs,
like some monster.
1283
01:13:13,649 --> 01:13:15,730
- Like one of those bad
Sci-Fi Channel monster movies.
1284
01:13:15,730 --> 01:13:16,760
- No, better yet,
1285
01:13:16,760 --> 01:13:18,250
make it like a vegetable or fruit monster.
1286
01:13:18,250 --> 01:13:19,900
- No no, a tomato monster.
1287
01:13:19,900 --> 01:13:21,489
- No, a grapefruit monster.
1288
01:13:21,489 --> 01:13:23,094
(laughing)
1289
01:13:23,094 --> 01:13:25,260
- Those all sound like good ideas,
1290
01:13:25,260 --> 01:13:26,210
but with my--
- [Man] Limey.
1291
01:13:26,210 --> 01:13:28,273
- Animating skills,
it'll take me some time.
1292
01:13:28,273 --> 01:13:30,172
- Oh dude, I have
something that can help you
1293
01:13:30,172 --> 01:13:32,270
with your project.
1294
01:13:32,270 --> 01:13:33,410
- Really, what is it?
1295
01:13:33,410 --> 01:13:34,690
- Have any of you guys taken one of those
1296
01:13:34,690 --> 01:13:36,110
random online quizzes?
1297
01:13:36,110 --> 01:13:37,050
- Mm hmm.
- Yeah.
1298
01:13:37,050 --> 01:13:39,410
- Well I took one on some obscure site,
1299
01:13:39,410 --> 01:13:40,780
and they were happy that I took it,
1300
01:13:40,780 --> 01:13:43,470
so they sent me a rare version of Mayan.
1301
01:13:43,470 --> 01:13:44,840
- How good is this version?
1302
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:45,730
- Really good.
1303
01:13:45,730 --> 01:13:47,760
I tested it out, and I
was able to make a fully
1304
01:13:47,760 --> 01:13:50,170
animated character in a matter of minutes.
1305
01:13:50,170 --> 01:13:52,770
And since I happen to
have it on my flash drive,
1306
01:13:52,770 --> 01:13:55,420
and poor Paul is struggling
with his project.
1307
01:13:55,420 --> 01:13:56,580
- Oh thanks man.
1308
01:13:56,580 --> 01:13:58,190
So what's this version called?
1309
01:13:58,190 --> 01:14:00,920
- Mayan 66.6.
1310
01:14:00,920 --> 01:14:02,529
- Wait, what?
1311
01:14:02,529 --> 01:14:03,532
- You're kidding, right?
1312
01:14:03,532 --> 01:14:04,833
- That's what it's called, dude.
1313
01:14:04,833 --> 01:14:06,660
So are we gonna get
something to eat, or what?
1314
01:14:06,660 --> 01:14:07,670
- Thanks, Bill.
1315
01:14:07,670 --> 01:14:09,265
But I'm gonna stay here with Paul.
1316
01:14:09,265 --> 01:14:12,060
- Yeah, me too.
1317
01:14:12,060 --> 01:14:13,410
Sorry Bill.
1318
01:14:13,410 --> 01:14:15,220
- Ah, guys, it's alright.
1319
01:14:15,220 --> 01:14:17,470
I'm gonna go get some
Mexican food by myself.
1320
01:14:20,080 --> 01:14:21,910
Paul, try out that program.
1321
01:14:21,910 --> 01:14:23,160
- Yeah, I will.
1322
01:14:26,513 --> 01:14:27,510
(door slamming)
1323
01:14:27,510 --> 01:14:28,343
- He's a good guy.
1324
01:14:28,343 --> 01:14:31,100
- Hey, I'm gonna go get something to drink
1325
01:14:31,100 --> 01:14:32,892
from the cafeteria.
1326
01:14:32,892 --> 01:14:34,289
Do you wanna come along, Britney?
1327
01:14:34,289 --> 01:14:35,340
- Yeah, sure.
1328
01:14:35,340 --> 01:14:37,920
Are you coming too, Paul?
1329
01:14:37,920 --> 01:14:39,420
- I'll catch up with you guys later.
1330
01:14:39,420 --> 01:14:41,470
I just wanna check this out really quick.
1331
01:14:42,720 --> 01:14:44,470
- [Britney] Alright, be right back.
1332
01:14:49,590 --> 01:14:52,257
(door slamming)
1333
01:14:53,180 --> 01:14:54,980
- Alright, let's open up my project.
1334
01:14:58,412 --> 01:15:00,694
- So, Britney.
1335
01:15:00,694 --> 01:15:02,020
You got like a boyfriend?
1336
01:15:02,020 --> 01:15:03,632
- No.
1337
01:15:03,632 --> 01:15:04,630
- Oh, okay.
1338
01:15:04,630 --> 01:15:05,520
Because I was wondering if, I don't know,
1339
01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:07,750
you would like to go see a movie.
1340
01:15:07,750 --> 01:15:08,990
- Phil, I like you.
1341
01:15:08,990 --> 01:15:11,300
But I always saw you as just a friend.
1342
01:15:11,300 --> 01:15:13,040
- Well, okay.
1343
01:15:13,040 --> 01:15:14,143
That's alright.
1344
01:15:15,089 --> 01:15:15,922
- Okay.
1345
01:15:18,927 --> 01:15:21,927
(light eerie music)
1346
01:15:26,787 --> 01:15:28,287
- Oh this is fast.
1347
01:15:29,350 --> 01:15:31,017
This is really fast.
1348
01:15:33,132 --> 01:15:34,549
I better save it.
1349
01:15:40,910 --> 01:15:42,077
What the hell?
1350
01:15:44,972 --> 01:15:47,972
(suspenseful music)
1351
01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:57,218
Holy--
- [Man] Groot.
1352
01:15:58,113 --> 01:15:59,907
(door slamming)
1353
01:15:59,907 --> 01:16:02,180
- You guys, you guys, we
gotta get out of here.
1354
01:16:02,180 --> 01:16:03,170
- Whoa, dude.
1355
01:16:03,170 --> 01:16:04,550
What's going on?
1356
01:16:04,550 --> 01:16:08,660
- The program Mayan 66 whatever, it works.
1357
01:16:08,660 --> 01:16:10,020
I even did what you guys suggested,
1358
01:16:10,020 --> 01:16:12,100
and made my project into a monster.
1359
01:16:12,100 --> 01:16:13,760
And as soon as I hit render,
1360
01:16:13,760 --> 01:16:16,390
the creature rendered in real life.
1361
01:16:16,390 --> 01:16:18,088
- Are you out of you--
- [Man] Kumquat.
1362
01:16:18,088 --> 01:16:19,350
- Mind?
1363
01:16:19,350 --> 01:16:20,849
(shrieking)
1364
01:16:20,849 --> 01:16:22,230
- [Phil] Oh my god.
1365
01:16:22,230 --> 01:16:24,150
(screaming)
1366
01:16:24,150 --> 01:16:24,983
- Run.
1367
01:16:26,652 --> 01:16:29,569
(monster growling)
1368
01:16:29,569 --> 01:16:30,572
- What if runs here?
1369
01:16:30,572 --> 01:16:31,570
- No telling.
1370
01:16:31,570 --> 01:16:32,403
- But--
1371
01:16:38,712 --> 01:16:40,492
(growling)
1372
01:16:40,492 --> 01:16:42,825
(screaming)
1373
01:16:53,060 --> 01:16:54,470
- Where's Phil?
1374
01:16:54,470 --> 01:16:56,040
- Phil's dead.
1375
01:16:56,040 --> 01:16:57,370
- Quick, how do they kill the monsters
1376
01:16:57,370 --> 01:16:59,489
in those crappy Sci-Fi movies?
1377
01:16:59,489 --> 01:17:00,322
- I don't know.
1378
01:17:00,322 --> 01:17:01,410
I can never finish one.
1379
01:17:01,410 --> 01:17:02,450
They're that bad.
1380
01:17:02,450 --> 01:17:03,693
- Oh god, Paul.
1381
01:17:06,008 --> 01:17:07,932
(gasping)
1382
01:17:07,932 --> 01:17:10,932
(breathing heavily)
1383
01:17:13,052 --> 01:17:14,672
(hacking)
1384
01:17:14,672 --> 01:17:16,972
(yelling)
(eerie music)
1385
01:17:16,972 --> 01:17:18,673
- Grapefruit juice.
1386
01:17:18,673 --> 01:17:20,673
I hate grapefruit juice.
1387
01:17:21,990 --> 01:17:23,391
(yelling)
1388
01:17:23,391 --> 01:17:24,849
(laughing)
1389
01:17:24,849 --> 01:17:27,016
(yelling)
1390
01:17:45,010 --> 01:17:46,243
- Oh my god, what do I do?
1391
01:17:49,290 --> 01:17:51,290
Die, you horrible tasting fruit monster.
1392
01:18:05,687 --> 01:18:08,687
(light eerie music)
1393
01:18:32,310 --> 01:18:34,150
What's wrong with you,
giving us that program?
1394
01:18:34,150 --> 01:18:35,710
Do you know what happened?
1395
01:18:35,710 --> 01:18:37,130
- I don't understand, what's going on?
1396
01:18:37,130 --> 01:18:38,110
- Well that program,
1397
01:18:38,110 --> 01:18:39,590
I guess whatever Paul saved on it
1398
01:18:39,590 --> 01:18:41,000
rendered itself into reality.
1399
01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:43,400
He turned that Pac-Man thing
into a grapefruit monster.
1400
01:18:43,400 --> 01:18:44,560
Guess what happened.
1401
01:18:44,560 --> 01:18:46,500
- You're crazy, you're crazy.
1402
01:18:46,500 --> 01:18:48,160
- Bill, you said you fiddled
around with that thing.
1403
01:18:48,160 --> 01:18:49,310
What did you make?
1404
01:18:49,310 --> 01:18:50,680
- I--
- what did you make?
1405
01:18:50,680 --> 01:18:51,713
Did you render it?
1406
01:18:53,212 --> 01:18:54,045
(eerie music)
1407
01:18:54,045 --> 01:18:54,903
- Oh.
- [Man] Great.
1408
01:18:56,594 --> 01:18:59,094
(saw buzzing)
1409
01:19:02,892 --> 01:19:05,642
- Wow, that thing was so not bad.
1410
01:19:06,790 --> 01:19:07,623
(laughing)
1411
01:19:07,623 --> 01:19:08,970
- It was so cute.
1412
01:19:08,970 --> 01:19:10,520
- I think we learned a lot there.
1413
01:19:10,520 --> 01:19:12,240
You know, computer programmers,
1414
01:19:12,240 --> 01:19:13,630
they really have it rough.
1415
01:19:13,630 --> 01:19:15,590
- Yeah, don't take shortcuts.
1416
01:19:15,590 --> 01:19:17,700
- Oh, never take shortcuts.
1417
01:19:17,700 --> 01:19:19,489
Except for when it comes to acting.
1418
01:19:19,489 --> 01:19:22,050
It's the easiest thing you can do.
1419
01:19:22,050 --> 01:19:24,890
But anyways, I think I
learned a lot right there.
1420
01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:27,850
I think it was compelling.
1421
01:19:27,850 --> 01:19:29,570
And that grapefruit monster.
- Friend zoning.
1422
01:19:29,570 --> 01:19:31,110
- You know, grapefruit.
1423
01:19:31,110 --> 01:19:33,350
I've had grapefruit in my eye before.
1424
01:19:33,350 --> 01:19:34,800
It's not a pleasant thing.
1425
01:19:34,800 --> 01:19:37,249
So I totally related with that guy.
1426
01:19:37,249 --> 01:19:38,540
I was like, I feel your pain.
1427
01:19:38,540 --> 01:19:41,100
And then he got his stomach ripped out.
1428
01:19:41,100 --> 01:19:43,560
- Didn't I pour grapefruit
juice in your eyes?
1429
01:19:43,560 --> 01:19:45,320
- Yes, when I was five.
1430
01:19:45,320 --> 01:19:48,950
You held me down, and that's a bad memory,
1431
01:19:48,950 --> 01:19:52,720
that I had many, many
sessions of psychotherapy
1432
01:19:52,720 --> 01:19:53,553
to get over that.
1433
01:19:53,553 --> 01:19:56,840
And you're just bringing it
in like a rush to my head.
1434
01:19:56,840 --> 01:19:57,960
- Hey, you brought it back up first.
1435
01:19:57,960 --> 01:20:00,193
- Well anyways, you know what,
1436
01:20:00,193 --> 01:20:01,450
the more you do this,
1437
01:20:01,450 --> 01:20:03,910
the more I wish that
robot chainsaw monster
1438
01:20:03,910 --> 01:20:06,130
comes and slices your head off.
1439
01:20:06,130 --> 01:20:08,160
'Cause I need some ice cream right now.
1440
01:20:08,160 --> 01:20:09,600
I need some ice cream.
1441
01:20:09,600 --> 01:20:11,950
And I wanna kick it in your head.
1442
01:20:11,950 --> 01:20:12,783
Anyways.
- I thought it would
1443
01:20:12,783 --> 01:20:14,369
taste good that way.
1444
01:20:14,369 --> 01:20:15,760
- Oh it would taste good.
1445
01:20:15,760 --> 01:20:17,963
It'd be all brain sherbet, ber-bet.
1446
01:20:19,393 --> 01:20:20,350
- Yeah, but then I couldn't introduce you
1447
01:20:20,350 --> 01:20:24,470
to some of my friends, or
acquaintances, who are girls.
1448
01:20:24,470 --> 01:20:25,910
- Okay.
1449
01:20:25,910 --> 01:20:28,820
Well, judging them, I'm sure they're all
1450
01:20:28,820 --> 01:20:31,163
around Ugly Betty size.
1451
01:20:32,127 --> 01:20:33,740
- If you wanna be that mean.
1452
01:20:33,740 --> 01:20:35,612
- They're like Honey Boo Boo.
1453
01:20:35,612 --> 01:20:36,929
It's like, you go girl.
1454
01:20:36,929 --> 01:20:37,931
- No way.
1455
01:20:37,931 --> 01:20:39,800
I don't associate myself
with those people.
1456
01:20:39,800 --> 01:20:43,409
- You associate people
who are, let's just say,
1457
01:20:43,409 --> 01:20:46,500
not the cream of the crop,
1458
01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:50,769
but maybe the water residue of the crop.
1459
01:20:50,769 --> 01:20:52,129
- Hey.
1460
01:20:52,129 --> 01:20:54,200
What other choices do you
really have right now?
1461
01:20:54,200 --> 01:20:55,600
- I got my video tapes.
1462
01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:57,005
Let's keep going.
- Okay.
1463
01:20:57,005 --> 01:20:59,703
- At least that doesn't judge me.
1464
01:21:02,601 --> 01:21:05,393
It looks like there's only one left.
1465
01:21:05,393 --> 01:21:06,226
- Aw.
1466
01:21:07,830 --> 01:21:08,663
- Hm.
1467
01:21:12,667 --> 01:21:14,769
That's a little creepy.
1468
01:21:14,769 --> 01:21:15,772
- What?
1469
01:21:15,772 --> 01:21:16,605
- Well this one doesn't
have any writing on it.
1470
01:21:16,605 --> 01:21:20,863
It's just some weird British symbol thing.
1471
01:21:22,020 --> 01:21:23,710
- Do you think this is
the tape aunt Maggie
1472
01:21:23,710 --> 01:21:24,863
warned us about?
1473
01:21:25,720 --> 01:21:26,553
- Probably.
1474
01:21:27,612 --> 01:21:29,129
Come on, let's watch it.
1475
01:21:29,129 --> 01:21:29,962
- I--
1476
01:21:32,687 --> 01:21:35,922
- Come on, what's the
worst that could happen?
1477
01:21:35,922 --> 01:21:37,172
- I don't know.
1478
01:21:38,070 --> 01:21:40,820
Maybe something's on there
that would scar us for life.
1479
01:21:41,800 --> 01:21:42,860
- Oh please.
1480
01:21:42,860 --> 01:21:44,830
I doubt that very much.
1481
01:21:44,830 --> 01:21:46,929
And even if there was something on here
1482
01:21:46,929 --> 01:21:48,860
that could scar us for life,
1483
01:21:48,860 --> 01:21:51,710
with its gruesome and disturbing content,
1484
01:21:51,710 --> 01:21:53,100
it's not as half as bad as the things
1485
01:21:53,100 --> 01:21:54,590
you see on the internet.
1486
01:21:54,590 --> 01:21:55,423
Alright?
1487
01:21:55,423 --> 01:21:56,780
Kids in the sandbox.
1488
01:21:56,780 --> 01:21:58,380
Two girls, one cup.
1489
01:21:58,380 --> 01:21:59,569
Come on, hey.
1490
01:21:59,569 --> 01:22:02,510
It's not even half as bad as YouTube.
1491
01:22:02,510 --> 01:22:04,210
Justin Bieber.
1492
01:22:04,210 --> 01:22:05,660
Sneezing Panda.
1493
01:22:05,660 --> 01:22:07,532
The cat that walks on its hind legs.
1494
01:22:07,532 --> 01:22:10,000
- Okay okay okay okay, alright.
1495
01:22:10,000 --> 01:22:13,780
Just, aunt Maggie does
not need to know, okay?
1496
01:22:13,780 --> 01:22:15,549
- Absolutely.
1497
01:22:15,549 --> 01:22:16,873
You got my word on that one.
1498
01:22:17,790 --> 01:22:18,623
Alright.
1499
01:22:20,410 --> 01:22:21,820
We are about to see
1500
01:22:24,230 --> 01:22:26,883
movie magic.
1501
01:22:29,590 --> 01:22:32,007
(squelching)
1502
01:22:33,569 --> 01:22:35,090
(growling)
(yelling)
1503
01:22:35,090 --> 01:22:40,090
(gasping)
(suspenseful music)
1504
01:22:51,351 --> 01:22:52,184
- Maggie.
1505
01:22:53,187 --> 01:22:54,020
Aunt Ma--
1506
01:23:00,264 --> 01:23:01,560
Aunt Maggie, what happened to you?
1507
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:03,692
- Nothing, sweetie.
1508
01:23:03,692 --> 01:23:04,567
I'm just peachy.
1509
01:23:09,087 --> 01:23:13,452
(spitting)
(splatting)
1510
01:23:13,452 --> 01:23:17,692
It's time for you to get what
your brother got, sweetie.
1511
01:23:17,692 --> 01:23:19,025
- Damn it, Nick.
1512
01:23:23,065 --> 01:23:25,982
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
1513
01:23:36,108 --> 01:23:41,108
(engine revving)
(laughing maniacally)
1514
01:23:42,551 --> 01:23:45,548
- No no no, Aunt Maggie, no no.
1515
01:23:45,548 --> 01:23:47,048
No Maggie, no, no.
1516
01:23:48,908 --> 01:23:51,591
(screaming)
1517
01:23:51,591 --> 01:23:56,428
Aunt Maggie, no.
(laughing)
1518
01:23:56,428 --> 01:23:58,761
(screaming)
1519
01:24:05,932 --> 01:24:09,388
(ominous music)
1520
01:24:09,388 --> 01:24:12,555
(laughing maniacally)
1521
01:24:23,290 --> 01:24:25,790
(eerie music)
1522
01:24:35,628 --> 01:24:38,545
(machine clicking)
1523
01:24:42,308 --> 01:24:45,391
(monstrous laughing)
1524
01:24:47,831 --> 01:24:50,914
(upbeat eerie music)
97245
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