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1
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,809
This is nice,
that we all get to eat together.
2
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:20,644
Absolutely.
3
00:00:27,068 --> 00:00:30,821
Can we maybe put the phones down and
have an actual human conversation?
4
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:35,200
We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs,
we don't have to.
5
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,620
Guys. Guys,
you're never gonna believe this.
6
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,956
- What happened?
- I just got a part on a TV show!
7
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,458
- That's great!
- Congratulations!
8
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,835
- Guys!
- Oh, yeah!
9
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:48,380
- Yay, Penny!
- What's the show?
10
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:53,010
NCII, or, you know, NCSTD...
11
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:54,720
I don't know, it's...
12
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,514
It's the one with all the letters
and I'm gonna be on it!
13
00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:59,475
- That's amazing!
- Yeah.
14
00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:01,977
- What's your part?
- I play a customer in a diner
15
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,854
and I flirt with Mark Harmon.
16
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:07,191
Ooh, Mark Harmon,
he's a dreamboat.
17
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,111
- So it's just flirting?
- Well, yeah. Why?
18
00:01:11,279 --> 00:01:12,946
No reason. I just think it's sexier
19
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,675
when things are left
to the imagination.
20
00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:19,244
He's wrong.
21
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,122
♪ (THEME SONG) ♪
22
00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:47,815
So I read a study that
says a man with a dog
23
00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:50,275
is three times more likely
to get a woman's phone number.
24
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,402
Is it true even when
the man lets his dog
25
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:54,905
lick peanut butter off his tongue?
26
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,282
I don't see why not.
27
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,221
If you're really desperate
to meet women
28
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,371
and like having food
eaten out of your mouth,
29
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,498
I could set you up with my mom.
30
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,668
Why is that funny?
31
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,796
That's just unhygienic.
32
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,716
- It's a joke.
- I don't think so.
33
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,595
I believe that a joke
is a brief oral narrative
34
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:21,056
with a climactic humorous twist.
35
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:24,143
For example,
Wolowitz's mother is so fat
36
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,395
that she decided
to go on a diet,
37
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:29,356
or exercise, or both.
38
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:36,947
See? The twist is that people
don't usually change.
39
00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,618
Well, they don't.
40
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:45,706
Hey, guys, don't forget,
my episode's on TV tomorrow night.
41
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,166
- We'll be there.
- Can we bring anything?
42
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,626
Oh, that's so sweet of you,
but I was gonna steal food from here.
43
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,212
You know, my treat.
44
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:57,384
Wait, if Howard's mother is coming,
then you should also steal marbles.
45
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,974
Because she's obese,
and hippos are obese,
46
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:08,020
and in the popular board game Hungry
Hungry Hippos, they eat marbles.
47
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,360
Maybe I need to dumb
these down for you.
48
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,742
- Leonard, do you think I'm funny?
- No.
49
00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:28,457
- Do you?
- I think I'm hysterical.
50
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,878
I take it back.
That was funny.
51
00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:37,716
The philosopher Henri Bergson
says it's funny
52
00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:40,636
when a human being
behaves like an object.
53
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:44,139
I bet that bit killed
at The Chuckle Hut.
54
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:49,186
Oh, he didn't perform stand-up
comedy, he was a philosopher.
55
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:54,149
You know, I think
we're zeroing in on your problem.
56
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,985
Perhaps I'll spend some time
57
00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:59,446
developing a unified
theory of comedy,
58
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:03,200
which will allow me to elicit
laughter from anyone at any time.
59
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:06,745
Unless they're German,
'cause that's a tough crowd.
60
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,250
Are you set on people
laughing with you?
61
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,211
'Cause if you're cool with at you...
62
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,344
I don't get it.
63
00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,564
Raj, when you said you
were gonna bring a date
64
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,202
to watch Penny's thing tonight,
I didn't think you meant Stuart.
65
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:35,399
Really? I never for a second
thought it'd be anything else.
66
00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:38,068
I almost met someone last night,
but I blew it.
67
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,321
I was walking Cinnamon
and this girl introduced herself,
68
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:44,241
but she was so cute I panicked
and said,
69
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,159
"Wouldn't it be easier
if instead of talking
70
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:48,078
we could just sniff
each other's butts?"
71
00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:52,165
Well, Stuart's cute in his own way.
72
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:55,544
When I was a baby, my mother
called me her little possum.
73
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:59,339
- Are possums cute?
- Not at all.
74
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,385
If you're so intimidated
by talking to attractive girls,
75
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:06,263
maybe you should practice
by talking to regular people.
76
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:09,308
You mean like fatties and uggos?
77
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,769
Or maybe just stop talking.
78
00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:17,190
I'm serious. Go to the mall,
talk to anybody, practice.
79
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,942
That way, when you eventually
do talk to a cute girl,
80
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:22,904
- it won't be so scary.
- Or just keep dating the possum.
81
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,703
MAN ON TV: Parsa doesn't haVe
those kind of resources.
82
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,331
No, and that's why he had
Erin Pace rewire it...
83
00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,498
I'm so proud of you.
84
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,417
We haven't even
gotten to my scene yet.
85
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,836
I know, but you're going to be a TV
star and you haven't left me yet.
86
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,713
That takes guts.
87
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,134
I don't know about you, but I'm
very uncomfortable with all this.
88
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,262
- Why?
- I've never seen this show before
89
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,931
and now I'm starting
with episode 246?
90
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:54,144
It's unnatural.
91
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:58,523
Just think of the first 245
as the prequel.
92
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,484
All right.
93
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,612
Okay, shh.
Guys, guys, this is it.
94
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,655
I guess it's you and me, kid.
95
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,117
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to make peace.
96
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:10,452
- We're good.
- Good.
97
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,330
- Are you kidding me?
- What's wrong?
98
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,917
Well, the diner scene.
Where's my diner scene?
99
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,961
Don't ask me. Until I see
the prequel, I'm lost.
100
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,131
No, there was supposed to be
a big scene with me and Mark Harmon,
101
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,092
but it's... gone.
102
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:28,387
- What happened?
- They must've cut it.
103
00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:30,931
Oh, Penny.
104
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,100
I'm... I'm sorry.
105
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:34,868
- That stinks.
- I'm sure you were great.
106
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,562
This doesn't make any sense.
I mean, I...
107
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,815
I thought I did
a really good job, I...
108
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:43,860
Excuse me.
109
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,827
I've been studying how
to make people laugh.
110
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:59,709
They say that comedy
is tragedy plus time.
111
00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:03,505
- Let's tickle some ribs.
- No!
112
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:09,845
No, Dad, I don't think they
cut me out of the show
113
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:12,222
because I was too pretty.
114
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:17,894
No, I don't need you to come out
and kick Mark Harmon's ass.
115
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:22,816
Daddy, I gotta go.
I love you. Bye.
116
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,070
- How you doing?
- (GROANS) This is such a disaster.
117
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:29,531
My parents had all my relatives over.
118
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,284
They got one of those
six-foot sandwiches,
119
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,537
and got my brother
a day pass out of rehab and...
120
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:40,500
...now he's missing
and the sandwich is missing, and...
121
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:45,005
They're probably in Mexico by now.
So humiliating.
122
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:48,592
You still got the part.
That's a huge accomplishment.
123
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:49,843
But this was supposed
to be my break, okay?
124
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,219
People were gonna
see me in this show
125
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,429
and it was gonna
lead to bigger things.
126
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:55,432
More auditions, more parts.
Now none of that's gonna happen.
127
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,351
Honey, you only had three lines.
That wasn't gonna happen anyway.
128
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,525
- Unbelievable.
- Oh, come on.
129
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:08,069
- That's not what I meant.
- Then what did you mean?
130
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:11,740
I don't... You know, words don't
always have to mean things.
131
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,451
I think you meant
that you don't believe in me.
132
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,871
Nope. Uh-uh. I might not
know what I meant,
133
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,748
but I know that
I didn't mean that.
134
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,000
Not this guy. Oh, no way.
135
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,962
I want you, right now, to give me
your 100 percent honest opinion.
136
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,841
Do you think I have what it takes
to really make it as an actress?
137
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,593
- Yes.
- So you think I'll be on TV
138
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,303
and in movies and win awards.
139
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,013
- Honestly?
- Yes, honestly.
140
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:40,060
- I don't.
- How could you say that?
141
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:43,188
I don't know... I got all confused
when you said "honestly."
142
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,940
Oh!
143
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:49,277
Look, do I think
that you are talented
144
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,655
and that you are beautiful?
Of course I do.
145
00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,990
But isn't Los Angeles
full of actresses
146
00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:57,619
who are just as talented,
just as beautiful?
147
00:08:57,787 --> 00:09:00,080
Look, we'll come back to that.
148
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,790
No, please. Don't stop, go on.
149
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,318
Tell me how I'm gonna be a waitress
for the rest of my life.
150
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,088
That is not what I said.
Look, I think you're really good.
151
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,965
I truly do.
152
00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,592
But this is an incredibly hard thing
that you're shooting for.
153
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,012
I mean, the odds of anyone
becoming a successful actor
154
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,933
- are like a million to one.
- Wow, thank you.
155
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,776
Should've let Sheldon come.
156
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,657
This is interesting.
157
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:39,327
Apparently, a key component
in some forms of humor
158
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:43,081
- is the element of surprise.
- Well, that makes sense.
159
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,584
The prefrontal cortex
is responsible
160
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,669
for planning and anticipation,
161
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,005
- and patients with brain lesions...
- Brain lesions!
162
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,306
Sheldon, you scared me.
That wasn't funny.
163
00:09:59,473 --> 00:10:02,517
Or maybe you have a stick
up your prefrontal cortex.
164
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:07,856
Okay, the notion that you can
read a few books and come up
165
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,609
with a definitive theory
of comedy is absurd.
166
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:14,821
I mean, humor is
a complex neurological...
167
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:22,537
- Okay, that's pretty good.
- Excellent.
168
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:33,798
- How about her?
- No! No pretty girls!
169
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:35,717
The point is to talk
to regular people
170
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,469
and work our way up
to pretty girls.
171
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,054
Fine.
172
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:43,058
How about that old lady
with the walker?
173
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:47,520
That depends. On any level,
do you think she's hot?
174
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,732
We'll find somebody else.
175
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,362
Kumquat?
176
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:59,366
I guess.
177
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,453
Ointment?
178
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,748
Sure.
179
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,126
Now, would you say ointment
180
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:14,756
is more, equal to,
or less funny than kumquat?
181
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,928
I don't think I want
to go out with you anymore.
182
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:24,265
Would you please stop joking around?
I'm trying to figure this out.
183
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:27,185
Sheldon, how many words
are you gonna go through?
184
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,937
All of them.
185
00:11:31,774 --> 00:11:33,775
You didn't get your part cut.
186
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:38,738
And you didn't get your part cut.
187
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,784
Yep, bunch of old guys
rocking out in a band,
188
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:46,329
all with erectile dysfunction,
you didn't get your part cut!
189
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,541
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
190
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:52,168
Hey. Can we talk?
191
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:55,839
We can, but the part
of Penny might get cut.
192
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,135
That was really crappy of me.
193
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:04,639
What you're trying to do is hard,
but people do make it,
194
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:08,184
and I really do believe
you could be one of them.
195
00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:10,979
Thank you.
196
00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:14,941
And... to show you how much
I believe in you,
197
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,736
I kind of got you an audition.
198
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,487
Are you serious? For what?
199
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,740
- The new Star Wars movie.
- What?!
200
00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:25,243
- How did you manage that?
- There's this thing online,
201
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,496
you put yourself on tape and just
send it in, anyone can do it.
202
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:32,834
Come on, Leonard,
this is just a PR stunt.
203
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:36,087
So? Even if it is,
you have a huge advantage
204
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,797
because you're an actual actress.
205
00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:40,633
Most of the people doing this
are just weirdoes and nerds.
206
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,263
Wolowitz sent his in two days ago.
207
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:49,267
- Really, let it go.
- Look, maybe it is a long shot,
208
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,519
but sometimes long shots happen.
209
00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:55,148
Luke Skywalker was only given one
chance to destroy the Death Star.
210
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,817
He had to get a torpedo
into an exhaust port
211
00:12:57,985 --> 00:13:01,446
that was only two meters wide,
but with the help of The Force, he...
212
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,657
Wow, I can feel you
hating me right now.
213
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,122
How about that lady
in the sweat suit, speed-walking?
214
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,792
Yeah, she seems friendly
and easy to...
215
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,710
Never mind, she's gone.
216
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:20,381
Maybe talking
to people is too hard.
217
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:25,386
We could go over to that department
store, practice on the mannequins.
218
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,388
I don't know.
They're dressed very stylishly.
219
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,599
They're probably stuck-up.
220
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,478
This is ridiculous.
221
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:37,816
The next person that walks by,
no matter who it is, they're the one.
222
00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,905
We're gonna die here.
223
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,742
- Hello.
- Hey.
224
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:51,371
- Where's Sheldon?
- He's home trying to use science
225
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,248
to determine the basis of humor.
226
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,458
- That's interesting.
- It's exhausting.
227
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,168
Do you have any idea how hard it is
228
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,546
to laugh at a knock-knock
joke that starts with,
229
00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,089
"Knock-knock-knock, Amy,
knock-knock-knock, Amy,
230
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,882
knock-knock-knock, Amy"?
231
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,176
If you want him to stop,
232
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,012
sometimes the easiest thing
to do is just fake a laugh.
233
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:10,306
Fake a laugh?
234
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:17,021
- Do you ever do that with me?
- No, of course not.
235
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:19,482
Well, I'd be able to tell anyway.
236
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,860
I don't think you would.
237
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,320
Please, I've made
plenty of girls laugh,
238
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:26,739
sometimes just by
asking them out.
239
00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,566
Yeah? Well, I fake my orgasms.
240
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:08,907
Yes, how much for a hundred
long-stemmed, red roses?
241
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:10,617
Really?
242
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,119
How much for three?
243
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,416
- Hey.
- Yeah, I'll call you back.
244
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,420
Look, I know you were
just trying to help
245
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,882
with your Star Wars thing.
I didn't mean to call it idiotic.
246
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,259
Well, I don't think
you called it idiotic.
247
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,137
Oh. Sorry, I meant to.
248
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:38,686
Anyway... I was just upset
with myself. I wasn't mad at you.
249
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,981
I just feel like everything
is falling apart.
250
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:44,651
- Come on. It's okay.
- No, it's not okay!
251
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:48,196
Look at me, okay? I took a temp job
as a waitress forever ago,
252
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,115
and I'm still doing it.
I can't quit, because guess what?
253
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:52,533
I can't do anything else.
254
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:57,205
And I finally get my big break,
and it goes away! I'm such a mess.
255
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:58,873
- No, you're not.
- Really?
256
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,362
'Cause this morning at Starbucks,
257
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:03,503
a pair of old underwear
fell out of my pant leg!
258
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:08,341
And it wasn't the only
one in there.
259
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:13,554
Okay, listen to me,
this is just a minor setback.
260
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:16,307
No, it's not, okay? I've been out
here for, like, ten years!
261
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,894
- I've nothing to show for it!
- Well, you have me.
262
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,398
You're right.
263
00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:25,483
I do have you.
264
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,944
Mmm.
265
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,072
Let's get married.
266
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:34,075
What?
267
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,205
Whoo.
268
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,377
Leonard Hofstadter,
will you marry me?
269
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:47,547
Um...
270
00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:52,468
Did you seriously
just say, "Um"?
271
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:56,556
Look, you know I love you,
272
00:16:56,724 --> 00:17:00,143
but you're... you're drunk
and sad and feeling lost...
273
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,979
Okay, so you don't
want to marry me?!
274
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,023
- That is not what I said.
- No, forget it! I take it back!
275
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:09,110
- Offer's off the table!
- Who's in the mood to laugh?!
276
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:12,655
Really not a good time.
277
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,408
But I used science
to construct the perfect joke.
278
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,118
- I'm gonna go.
- Penny, don't.
279
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,287
No, no, I just need to be alone.
280
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:27,628
So, a sandwich, a rabbi
and yo mama walk into a bar.
281
00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:30,214
- Where are you going?
- To my room.
282
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,967
- Should I follow you?
- No.
283
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,386
- Leonard, wait.
- What?
284
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:38,598
I forgot to tell you
the sandwich is promiscuous.
285
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,029
How about those guys on that bench
over there? They look pathetic.
286
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,156
I bet we could talk to them.
287
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,325
That's a mirror.
288
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,620
Oh, yeah.
289
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,248
Hey, fellas, mall's closing.
290
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:06,584
- Sorry.
- Yeah. Good night.
291
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,129
- Excuse me.
- Yeah?
292
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:15,176
Do you like being
a mall security guard?
293
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:20,181
- It's all right.
- Okay, nice talking to you.
294
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,771
Smooth!
295
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:40,326
- Can't sleep?
- No.
296
00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,415
Would you like to talk about it?
297
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:51,671
Penny proposed,
and I didn't say yes.
298
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:58,970
- Why not?
- That's a good question.
299
00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,391
Does that mean the
relationship is over?
300
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:06,435
I don't know.
301
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:08,938
Why don't you ask her?
302
00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:15,027
Because I'm afraid
to know the answer.
303
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:23,244
Well... I'm sorry.
304
00:19:25,914 --> 00:19:29,750
That's it? You're not
gonna make some dumb joke
305
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:31,711
or some inappropriate comment?
306
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,421
No.
307
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:38,801
You're my friend, and... I'm sorry.
308
00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:47,435
Did you just put
a "kick me" sign on my back?
309
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:55,193
No.
310
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,612
That wouldn't be funny at all.
311
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,668
Star Wars audition, take one.
312
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:18,466
Starring Howard Joel Wolowitz,
real-life astronaut.
313
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:26,974
Vader is here,
314
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,810
now, on this moon.
315
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:31,604
I felt his presence.
316
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,982
He's come for me.
He can feel when I'm near...
317
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:36,317
BERNADETTE: How many times
do I have to tell you
318
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,237
to replace the toilet paper
when it's empty?!
319
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:43,950
- I'm in the middle of something!
- So am I!
320
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,538
♪ (THEME MUSIC) ♪
321
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:09,308
(English - US SDH)
25143
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