Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:05,421
- Hey, can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
2
00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:06,714
You've had this dart board
since I've known you.
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,000
But I've never seen you play.
4
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,426
Oh, we played... once.
5
00:00:10,593 --> 00:00:12,302
I broke a window.
6
00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:13,512
What window?
7
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,264
That one over there.
8
00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,809
Leonard,
where are the Skee-Ball tickets?
9
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,144
Skee-Ball tickets?
10
00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:22,563
Yeah, from when we went
to the arcade three years ago?
11
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,440
I finally decided what prize I want.
12
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:27,735
Hurry up.
13
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:32,448
If I still have them,
they're probably in the junk box.
14
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:35,117
- Ooh, what are you gonna get?
- None of your business.
15
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:38,620
But when you see me wearing
a flower in my lapel later,
16
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:40,748
you are most welcome to sniff it.
17
00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:45,461
- Yup, got 'em, here you go.
- Oh, thank you.
18
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:48,380
Here, get yourself an eraser
for your troubles.
19
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,343
Oh, I forgot about this.
20
00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:56,221
My aunt made it for me
when I started college.
21
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,894
Aw, did she hate you?
22
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:04,855
Why? Because I got an ugly,
itchy sweater,
23
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:07,566
and my brother got a car?
No, I was her favorite.
24
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:10,338
Yeah, I seem to be
a few tickets short.
25
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,779
Are there more in the box?
26
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,655
I think I got them all.
27
00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:15,574
Nope, they're not in there.
28
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,659
Well, you barely looked. Let me see.
29
00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:21,497
No, no, no, I looked, and...
No more tickets.
30
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,916
- Leonard, let me look in the box.
- Okay, Okay!
31
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:28,921
I'm gonna show you what's in the box.
But just... promise not to flip out?
32
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:32,758
Why would I flip out? Is it a spider?
33
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,176
(GASPS) It's a spider!
34
00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:39,515
No, if it was a spider,
Lenny would've flipped out.
35
00:01:39,682 --> 00:01:43,602
Okay, Sheldon, I know I was supposed
to return this DVD a long time ago,
36
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,687
and I know we
rented it on your card.
37
00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,856
But it's been, like, seven years,
38
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:49,504
and clearly nothing bad has happened.
39
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:53,904
So instead of being a giant
pain in the ass, like you always are,
40
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:58,200
what if this one time
you just tried staying calm?
41
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,707
That seems like a reasonable request.
42
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,546
Although so did, "Hey, Leonard,
would you mind returning that DVD?"
43
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,466
I'm sorry. I'll take care of it.
44
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:16,885
Okay.
45
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,846
I mean it. I'm going to.
46
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,641
I believe you.
47
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,978
And you're going to stay calm?
48
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,188
I said I would.
49
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,403
How about that?
50
00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,657
Sheldon's being reasonable.
51
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,868
Yeah, it's freaking me out.
I'm gonna go.
52
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:46,081
♪ (THEME SONG PLAYS) ♪
53
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,064
So... when you say
54
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:13,734
you're not going
to freak out about the DVD,
55
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,485
here's what that means.
56
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:18,071
Don't fixate on it,
57
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,032
don't wake me up
in the middle of the night,
58
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,452
or nag me through the door
while I'm on the toilet.
59
00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:27,331
Okay, first, talking to you
while you're on the toilet
60
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,791
isn't exactly a picnic for me either.
61
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:33,670
Remember, when you can hear me,
I can hear you.
62
00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,674
And, second,
you completely disregard
63
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:40,677
how uncomfortable
unresolved issues are for me.
64
00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:44,348
It's like, an itch in my brain
I can't scratch.
65
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:48,769
When I broke my arm I used
to stick a coat hanger down there.
66
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,941
You ever try that?
Maybe go in through the ear?
67
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,485
You wouldn't make jokes
if you could feel the way I feel.
68
00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:58,946
Well, I don't know how to do that.
69
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,449
How about this?
70
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,369
I promise I won't pester you
about the DVD.
71
00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:09,998
You can defecate in peace.
That's a win for both of us.
72
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,500
But...
73
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,961
until this matter is resolved,
74
00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:15,504
I would like you
75
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,339
to wear this sweater.
76
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,219
With nothing underneath it.
77
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,847
That's stupid. Why?
78
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:28,767
You say it's itchy and uncomfortable.
79
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:31,728
I say situations like this
make me feel the same way.
80
00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:34,564
I'm telling you, try the hanger.
81
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,276
Put it on.
82
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:38,902
Let's share the experience.
83
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:42,447
You got it.
84
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,992
If this sweater shuts you up,
I'm gonna make a fortune
85
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,952
selling them to everyone we know.
86
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:50,455
Now all I need to do
87
00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,833
is head down to the video store
88
00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:55,002
and return the DVD.
89
00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:01,383
Oh, did I forget to tell you?
90
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:04,803
That store went out
of business years ago.
91
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,433
Really?
92
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,686
How those nipples feeling, chief?
93
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,525
Penny, can we please get our drinks?
94
00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:19,973
Yeah, hang on, just give me sec.
95
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,697
At work today, I did
an in vivo stereotaxic surgery.
96
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:27,409
Cool. At my lab, I performed
ten laser capture micro-dissections.
97
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,704
I scraped gum
off the bottom of that table.
98
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,707
Only because my manager
saw me put it there.
99
00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:35,584
Oh, my gosh.
100
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,753
That's the girl
that broke Rajesh's heart.
101
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,004
That's Lucy?
102
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,465
I don't know why but I always
pictured her as Indian.
103
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,675
I think that reason's called racism.
104
00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:46,553
I'm gonna go talk to her.
105
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,597
Why? What are you gonna say?
106
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,766
I'm not gonna say anything.
I just want to check her out.
107
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:54,895
Because she hurt my friend.
My Indian friend.
108
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,605
Who's racist now?
109
00:05:56,773 --> 00:06:00,192
You because you just called him
your "Indian friend."
110
00:06:02,111 --> 00:06:03,445
Yeah, well, you're short.
111
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,158
We're never getting our drinks.
112
00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,035
No, but we knew that.
113
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,954
Hey, can I start you off
with something to drink?
114
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:15,332
- Oh, water would be great.
- Okay.
115
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:19,336
You're Lucy, right?
I'm a friend of Raj Koothrappali's.
116
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,962
Actually Amy recognized you.
117
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,806
Wow. How's he doing?
118
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:32,349
Oh, you know, he's good.
119
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,517
Great.
120
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,811
Yeah, this is none of my business.
121
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:38,897
But why did you break up
with him in an e-mail?
122
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,316
Oh, I don't know.
123
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,318
I guess I thought it would be easier.
124
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,321
Yeah, I get that.
I'll go get you your water.
125
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,827
When you say "easier,"
126
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,578
you mean easier for you, right?
127
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,747
'Cause it certainly
didn't make it easier for him.
128
00:06:56,624 --> 00:07:00,001
Any chance I can get
a different waitress?
129
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,249
I'm sorry, this is rude of me.
I will get that water.
130
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,341
See, see, see, see.
131
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,593
Just now you expressed
your feelings to my face.
132
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,303
How come you could do that
with me, but not with Raj?
133
00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:12,681
I don't know your e-mail.
134
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,685
You know what the worst part is?
You're sitting here, perfectly happy
135
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,687
and he's at home, a blubbering mess.
136
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,255
Oh, I thought you said he was okay.
137
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:23,196
I also said I was getting you water,
but look at me still standing here.
138
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,946
You know, I may be a bad waitress,
but you are a bad person.
139
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:31,199
Now, you want to hear the specials?
140
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:54,306
- So, you can never take it off?
- No.
141
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,557
Not even to sleep?
142
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:56,975
No.
143
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,977
So, you're just an idiot?
144
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,230
It's called proving a point.
145
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:04,191
Is the point you're an idiot?
146
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,152
Gentlemen, please.
147
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,864
Leonard is trying to walk
a mile in my metaphorical shoes.
148
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,158
He can't walk in my actual shoes.
149
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,035
He has the feet of a toddler.
150
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,165
So, how are you gonna return the DVD
if the store went out of business?
151
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:24,544
Monday morning I'll go downtown,
look up the owner's information,
152
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:27,214
send him the DVD.
153
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,798
(SIGHS)
154
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,760
Pay the late fee...
155
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,054
and prove to Sheldon
that you can have a problem...
156
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,764
and solve it...
157
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:39,976
without acting
like a complete lunatic.
158
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,353
Ahh!
159
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,106
And the man impersonating a bear
would like everyone to know that,
160
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,515
(IMITATES SMOKEY BEAR)
Only you can prevent forest fires.
161
00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:51,404
I don't get it.
162
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,740
You didn't have
Smokey the Bear in India?
163
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,535
No. Oh, is he anything like
Mun-Mun the Mongoose?
164
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,330
He taught us not to play with cobras.
165
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,501
You had to be taught
not to play with cobras?
166
00:09:06,587 --> 00:09:08,922
You had to be taught
not to burn down the forest?
167
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:21,184
If you guys were hungry, why didn't
you order at the restaurant?
168
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,103
We did.
You never brought it.
169
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,023
Oh, that's right.
170
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,858
Nachos and a turkey club.
171
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:30,443
Not even close.
172
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,114
Well, I was too busy
standing up for my friend
173
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,991
to worry about your...
174
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:38,368
I want to say salmon.
175
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:40,370
You want to say sorry.
176
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,589
So, how are you gonna
tell Raj abut what you did?
177
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,171
What do you mean "how"?
What's the big deal?
178
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:52,424
You told Lucy he was a pathetic mess.
179
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,467
Then you made her cry and leave.
180
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,386
Okay, you guys are overreacting.
181
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,847
Raj is gonna appreciate
how I had his back.
182
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,349
What is wrong with you, Penny?!
183
00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:04,477
You ruined any chance I had
of getting back with Lucy!
184
00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:05,145
(CELL PHONE DINGS)
185
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,147
Now she knows I'm a desperate mess
186
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:08,982
instead of just being pretty sure!
187
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,069
It's Lucy.
188
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:14,821
She wants to meet for coffee.
189
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,157
I love you, Penny!
190
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,497
Hey, what are you working on?
191
00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:27,876
I'm thinking about
how one could use the fact
192
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:32,047
that a rapidly rotating mirror
turns virtual photons into real ones
193
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,758
as a method of observing dark energy.
194
00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,509
That's a pretty cool idea.
195
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,470
Yeah. It's great you're here.
196
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,221
I'd love to get
an engineer's opinion.
197
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,431
Sure.
198
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,767
This chair is squeaky.
199
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,731
Now, do I fix it or get a new one?
200
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:53,777
Well, Sheldon,
it took me all morning,
201
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:56,237
but I found the owner
of the video store.
202
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:59,074
And I am happy to report
that he died peacefully in his sleep,
203
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:00,909
drunk at the bottom of a pool.
204
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,413
Anyway, there is no one
to return the DVD to,
205
00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:08,833
so this issue is resolved.
206
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,755
And I'd just like to point out that
207
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,715
even though the sweater
was uncomfortable,
208
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:19,719
I didn't use it as an excuse
to antagonize everyone around me.
209
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:23,098
You know, you could reimburse
the video store owner's next of kin.
210
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,642
Or it's resolved!
211
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,729
Hey, that next of kin thing
sounds pretty good.
212
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,233
I believe this is yours.
213
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,157
Can I ask you guys a question?
214
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,868
So, I'm seeing Lucy tomorrow night,
and I've never hung out
215
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,121
with someone who broke up with me.
How do you do it?
216
00:11:46,288 --> 00:11:49,249
You can't let her know you're
hurting. The key is confidence.
217
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,543
Why is the key always confidence?
218
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,046
How come it's never
love handles and flop sweat?
219
00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:00,093
If this girl hurt you so much, are
you sure you want to see her again?
220
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:02,929
Well, if I may,
he has so little self-respect
221
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:05,432
and is so desperate
for the smallest crumb of affection,
222
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,918
she could literally sleep
with his own father in his own bed
223
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:10,687
and post the video to YouTube,
and he'd still buy her flowers
224
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:12,772
and ask her to be his bride.
225
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,026
He's right.
226
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,948
But in my defense,
if we could survive that,
227
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,658
we could survive anything.
228
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,620
Well, if you're sure you want
to do this, it's only coffee.
229
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:29,956
Just relax and see what happens.
230
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,834
- Well, can I say she looks nice?
- Sure.
231
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,502
Can I tell her I miss her?
232
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,504
Maybe, if she asks.
233
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:38,381
Can I show her
an oil painting I made of us
234
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,967
surrounded by our children
and grandchildren?
235
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,972
I'd save that for the second date.
236
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,808
Good, good,
'cause no matter how hard I try,
237
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,394
I cannot get the twins to look alike.
238
00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,027
What are you doing?
239
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,863
Oh, I'm just trying to find
the stupid next of kin
240
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,200
to this stupid video store owner,
so I can return the DVD
241
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:07,994
and see the look
on Sheldon's stupid face
242
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:11,247
when he sees that I didn't
let this get to me.
243
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,244
Sheldon's not here.
Why don't you take the sweater off?
244
00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,670
- There's a principle at stake!
- Which is?
245
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:20,381
Oh, I don't know.
Who cares? Look at me!
246
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,633
(GASPS)
247
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,760
Oh, my God!
Is that sweater made of bees?
248
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:26,930
Come on, take it off. I won't tell.
249
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:29,182
No, no, honey, if I take it off,
Sheldon wins.
250
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:34,145
Sweetie, every night you don't
kill him in his sleep, he wins.
251
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,482
No, it's almost done.
252
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:41,194
I just... I have to find
the next of kin, and send 'em the DVD
253
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,563
and then just wait for someone
with my complexion to die
254
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,365
so I can get a skin graft.
255
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,867
Smile.
256
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,859
What is that? What is that for?
257
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,956
So you can send it to Princeton
and get your money back.
258
00:13:57,461 --> 00:14:00,046
I must say, Sheldon,
you're handling this DVD business
259
00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:01,840
with an impressive amount
of maturity.
260
00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:05,635
I don't know why that surprises you.
I'm a grown man.
261
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,762
As should be evident
by this sport coat
262
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:10,640
and very real flower in my lapel.
263
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:15,270
Is there some kind of new coping
mechanism you're employing?
264
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,939
The more interesting question
you should be asking is,
265
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:20,775
"What does this flower smell like?"
266
00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:23,611
I'm gonna go with sad.
267
00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:27,615
So what's the story
with you and this DVD?
268
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,450
There's nothing to tell.
269
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,202
Maybe I purchased a book entitled,
270
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,787
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
271
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:36,749
and I followed its wise suggestions,
one of which was:
272
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,960
stop and smell the flowers.
273
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,715
- Seriously?
- Please.
274
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:50,805
Haha!
275
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,316
- Hi.
- Hello.
276
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,485
- Oh, it's so good to see you.
- You, too.
277
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,779
Please, sit.
278
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,437
I got you a cappuccino.
I remembered it was your favorite.
279
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:11,492
I also got crumb cake,
280
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,703
but remembered
it was my favorite, and I ate it.
281
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,415
Anyway, how are you?
282
00:15:18,375 --> 00:15:19,834
I'm pretty good.
283
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,794
Listen, I just wanted to apologize
284
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:24,130
for breaking up with you
in an e-mail.
285
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:26,380
And I ate all the crumb cake.
We both made mistakes.
286
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:28,968
Okay.
287
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,095
I'm so happy you asked me here,
288
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,306
and I hope we can hang out
again sometime.
289
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:37,143
You know, as friends,
lovemaking partners, whatever.
290
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,438
Oh...
291
00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:42,649
I'm kind of seeing someone.
292
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,235
I think I know the answer to this,
293
00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,280
but just to be clear,
it's not me, right?
294
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:52,700
This is all your fault!
295
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,828
I should've listened to Mun-Mun
because I've been playing
296
00:15:55,996 --> 00:15:58,039
with a cobra and her name is Penny!
297
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,168
Why are you so cruel?
Do you enjoy my pain?
298
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,337
There's a girl at the Cheesecake
Factory I can set you up with.
299
00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:06,047
I love you, Penny!
300
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,387
How is it I can conceptualize
a methodology
301
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,555
of examining dark matter
in the universe
302
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:17,809
but can't figure out how
to fix a novelty squirt flower?
303
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,520
I think the real question is,
304
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,648
why do you waste your time
with cheap, childish pranks?
305
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,109
There's probably a deep reason,
306
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,319
which I'd be happy
to discuss with you
307
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,780
over some peanut brittle in a can.
308
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,283
Okay, Sheldon, I am out of options!
309
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:37,453
Video store owner, Nursis Manookian,
310
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:38,871
has no next of kin!
311
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:42,041
Well, you seem hot
under the collar...
312
00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:43,960
or is that the sweater?
313
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:47,380
Oh, oh, no, no.
It's because I spent all afternoon
314
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,841
at the Armenian church
where his funeral mass was held.
315
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,801
According to Father Solakian,
316
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,428
no one attended.
317
00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,304
Luckily, my trip
wasn't a complete waste.
318
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:56,723
I lit a candle
and prayed for your death.
319
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,308
But I'm not Armenian,
so it probably won't work!
320
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,271
This is over, right?
321
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,148
Oh, not necessarily.
322
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:09,318
I suggest you look
for long-lost relatives
323
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:12,113
either in Armenia or Lebanon.
324
00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:15,783
Listen to me, Sheldon.
325
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,827
I am not going to Lebanon
326
00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:21,622
to return
Super Mario Bros. the movie!
327
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,753
Anyway, it might be fun.
You love hummus.
328
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:30,506
Why isn't this bothering you?
329
00:17:30,674 --> 00:17:32,675
Isn't your brain getting itchy?
330
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:35,136
This is on your card.
331
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:37,388
This could be ruining
your credit score!
332
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,475
Why isn't this making you crazy?
333
00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:43,561
Leonard...
334
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:47,315
I have something to tell you,
335
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,318
but I want you to promise
not to flip out.
336
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,652
What?
337
00:17:53,655 --> 00:17:55,073
Seven years ago,
338
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,159
I found out the DVD was late
and I paid for it.
339
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:07,960
What?
340
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:11,005
I was going to mention it
at the time,
341
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,508
but then I thought, some day,
342
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:17,261
this might be a teachable moment.
343
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,438
(GASPS)
344
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:33,152
Ahh!
345
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:43,538
But I...?! You...?! How...?!
346
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,039
What?!
347
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:53,131
Sheldon, that was diabolical.
348
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,299
I know.
349
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,261
And it wasn't easy.
350
00:18:58,428 --> 00:19:02,098
Do you have any idea what it's like
to wait for years,
351
00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,892
and never know if you're going
to finally get satisfaction?
352
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,317
Wow.
353
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,153
You're even prettier than Penny said.
354
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,072
I can't believe a girl like you
doesn't have a boyfriend.
355
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,282
Well, I don't.
356
00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,576
I don't believe you.
You're lying to me!
357
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,078
What?
358
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,622
It's okay. I have no morals,
and I'm desperately lonely.
359
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,875
I'll be the other man if you want
a little something-something
360
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:30,626
on the side.
361
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:36,799
What is wrong with you?!
362
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,745
(English US - SDH)
27303
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.