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1
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,401
What you doing?
2
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:09,564
You said clean up. I'm cleaning up, heh.
3
00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:13,322
You can't just throw everything
in the closet.
4
00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,484
You can tell me what to do
or you can tell me how to do it...
5
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,849
but you can't do both.
This isn't sex.
6
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,644
Well, what if someone looks in there?
7
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,724
They're coming over for dinner,
no one will look in the closet.
8
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,203
You don't know that. What if someone's
looking for the bathroom?
9
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,407
It could work out.
10
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,484
For all we know,
there's a toilet in there somewhere.
11
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,491
Fine. After tonight,
we need to get a handle on this mess.
12
00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,728
We should show the closet to Sheldon.
13
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,166
Why?
14
00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,846
Ha. Are you kidding?
He's like a savant at organizing.
15
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,207
Everything in his apartment
has a label on it...
16
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,246
including his label maker,
which has a label that says "label maker."
17
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,613
If you look really close
at that label-maker
18
00:00:54,626 --> 00:00:56,849
label, you'll see a label
that says "label."
19
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,769
No, he's our guest. We can't ask him
to straighten our closet.
20
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,809
No, we wouldn't ask him.
21
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:08,285
We'd just show him the closet and let the
goblins in his head take it from there.
22
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,361
Hey, guys, come on in.
23
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,171
- Hi.
- Ooh, it smells good.
24
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:17,210
Thanks. Sheldon, I know tonight's
the night you eat Thai food.
25
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,648
I went to the Asian market,
got the ingredients, made it from scratch.
26
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,723
Oh, you shouldn't have.
27
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,166
It was my pleasure.
28
00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:26,482
No, you really shouldn't have.
29
00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,683
I brought my own.
30
00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,164
You stopped and got him takeout?
31
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:34,682
I had no choice.
He kept kicking the back of my seat.
32
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,922
Sheldon, I've been cooking all day.
33
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,447
Well, now don't you feel silly?
34
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:43,566
Show him the closet.
35
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,567
These spring rolls are amazing.
Good job, Bernadette.
36
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,526
That's the takeout that Sheldon brought.
37
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:25,001
I'm sure they wouldn't have tasted nearly
as good if I hadn't tried your food first.
38
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:33,649
Howard, did you want your clothes
arranged seasonally or by color?
39
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,611
- Color's fine.
- Wrong, they'll be arranged seasonally.
40
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,481
Aren't you gonna spend
a little time with Amy?
41
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,091
Oh, it's okay, I'm used to it.
42
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:46,689
The other day at Whole Foods, he spent
an hour optimizing the cheese aisle.
43
00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:47,966
And some thanks I got.
44
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:51,567
The assistant manager chased me out
with an artisanal salami.
45
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,041
His quirks just make you love him more.
46
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,725
Someone please agree with me.
47
00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,802
Come on. It's getting late. Time to go.
48
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,691
Oh! Five more minutes.
49
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,409
That's what you said five minutes ago.
50
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,688
Amy and Penny are already in the car,
move it.
51
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:19,043
How come I never get to do
anything I wanna do?
52
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,363
If he really wants to stay and finish,
I can give him a ride home.
53
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,444
Please, Leonard. He said it's okay.
54
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,523
Sheldon, it's...
Wait, I can go home without you? Bye.
55
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,566
Howard, I have a few questions.
56
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,371
I found three bowling pins.
57
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,730
Now, do you juggle these
or are you missing seven?
58
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,881
- Juggle.
- You health nuts kill me.
59
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,050
Oh, my God, it's beautiful!
60
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,931
And look,
you found the juggling pins I hid.
61
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,004
Now, a couple more items.
62
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,164
Howard, I found this letter
from your dad in a box.
63
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,254
Based on content, it
could either be filed...
64
00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:03,211
Wait, you opened this?
65
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,364
I had to find out if it's
personal correspondence or memorabilia.
66
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,126
- Based on the content...
- I couldn't be less interested.
67
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,723
Now, come on, I'll take you home.
68
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:18,169
- Don't you want to know what's in it?
- If I did, I would've opened it years ago.
69
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,766
The closet looks great.
Let's get out of here.
70
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,925
Can I bring this box of extra shirt buttons
to sort on the ride?
71
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,166
- Do whatever you want.
- Thanks.
72
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,207
Oh!
73
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,648
Great party.
74
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,802
When I first met Howard, he'd pull
his scrotum out of his shorts and say:
75
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,361
"Oh! I sat in gum."
76
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,561
What is your point?
77
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:55,362
It's kind of weird how grown up he is now.
Happily married, throwing dinner parties.
78
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,724
Really? You couldn't just say that?
You had to tell the scrotum story?
79
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,362
Trying to paint a picture.
80
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:09,329
It was a nice change of pace,
not eating takeout around a coffee table.
81
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:13,769
We could throw a dinner party too.
Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
82
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:17,242
Sure. Just, when you say "dressed up,"
you mean nice clothes, right?
83
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,210
Not like capes and tights and crap.
84
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,566
Yeah.
85
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,489
- Although...
- No.
86
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:36,689
- Howie, you okay?
- Yeah, I just couldn't sleep.
87
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,525
I told you you shouldn't
have espresso after dinner.
88
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:43,366
I know the little cups make you
feel big, but it's not worth it.
89
00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:47,445
It's this stupid letter.
90
00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,411
- Did you read it?
- No.
91
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,611
- You must be curious.
- Of course I'm curious.
92
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:58,402
I haven't seen the man
since I was a little kid.
93
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,444
And a letter shows up
on my 18th birthday.
94
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:02,726
What's that about?
95
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,406
Then why don't you read it?
96
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,444
Maybe he apologizes
or explains why he left.
97
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,364
He abandoned me and my mother.
98
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:14,287
Why does he deserve a chance
to explain anything?
99
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,124
I get that.
100
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,729
So, what do you wanna do with it?
101
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,931
Something I should've done
a long time ago.
102
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,764
Really? Are you sure?
103
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,410
Yep.
104
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,446
Feel better?
105
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,165
I do.
106
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,280
Great.
107
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,569
Neither one of us
is tall enough to reach that.
108
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,042
I can't believe he set it on fire.
109
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,931
Yeah, just seeing that letter
really freaked him out.
110
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:03,608
And he was already having a tough day.
He accidentally wore my pants to work.
111
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,321
I don't know why he was upset.
They were bigger on him than me.
112
00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,601
I'm really curious what's in that letter.
113
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,888
Me too, but I guess now we'll never know.
114
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:21,367
You said Sheldon read it.
Why not ask him?
115
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,551
I can't do that. What
kind of wife would I
116
00:07:23,564 --> 00:07:25,605
be if I didn't respect
my husband's privacy?
117
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,162
What if I ask
and you happen to be in the room?
118
00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,970
- That works.
- Okay.
119
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,405
Blech!
120
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:58,486
It's like cleaning out
the entire building's belly button.
121
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,441
- Hey, Sheldon.
- Oh, hello.
122
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,045
What can I do for you ladies?
123
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:08,087
- You have something we want.
- Oh, dear.
124
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,811
My mother warned me this is what happens
to pretty boys in the big city.
125
00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,248
No, we just want information.
126
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:20,086
Oh. Oh, I've got that in spades. Ravage me.
127
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,001
We heard you read the letter
from Howard's father.
128
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:25,924
- I did.
- What did it say?
129
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,250
I can't tell you that.
130
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:32,411
I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee
confidentiality.
131
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,930
Sheldon, that's not a real thing.
132
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,880
Neither is the rule that you have to hold
your girlfriend's hand at the movies.
133
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,208
But that doesn't stop you
from pawing at me...
134
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,364
like you're a bear
and I'm a trash can full of sweets.
135
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,686
Why do you even care?
Just tell us what it says.
136
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:54,242
Control over the information
contained in that letter belongs to Howard.
137
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,368
By happenstance, I came to know it.
138
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,649
That doesn't give me the right
to disseminate it freely.
139
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,791
The letter was found in
Bernadette's closet.
140
00:09:01,804 --> 00:09:03,805
Doesn't that count
for something?
141
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,282
Are you pointing out that California
is a community-property state...
142
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,789
and since Howard and
Bernadette are married,
143
00:09:10,802 --> 00:09:13,122
intellectual property
in the letter...
144
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,641
is jointly owned by the two spouses?
145
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,809
Yeah, obviously.
146
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:25,880
Well played.
147
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:30,164
Sometimes I don't give you
enough credit, Penny.
148
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,928
Dude, you made the right choice
coming to me for help with this party.
149
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,401
Actually, all I did was invite you.
150
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,603
Well, put your mind at ease.
151
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,367
I'm here to make sure your dinner party
kicks Howard's dinner party's ass.
152
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:48,211
Now, the first thing we need is a theme.
153
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:52,649
I'm thinking, ah,
turn-of-the-century Moulin Rouge.
154
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,529
I'm thinking you need a testosterone patch.
155
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,202
Penny and I just wanna
do something low-key.
156
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,170
You know, cocktails, light jazz music,
hors d'oeuvres.
157
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:11,606
So your theme is "I saw a rerun of Mad Men
and bought crab puffs from Trader Joe's"?
158
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,488
I'd hate to miss that. Ahem.
159
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,042
Hey, where have you been?
160
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,850
Oh, Leonard.
161
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,809
If I was prone to sarcasm...
162
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:27,727
I'd say I was pulling off a major heist
at the Museum of Laundry Baskets.
163
00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:33,763
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, 10.
164
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,689
I meant, golly, Sheldon,
you've been gone a long time.
165
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:42,044
Oh, well, I was waylaid
by Penny, Bernadette and Amy.
166
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,528
They made me reveal confidential
information about Howard's father.
167
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,570
- What information?
- I can't tell you that.
168
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,930
I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee
confidentiality.
169
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,204
Come on, we won't tell anyone.
170
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:58,170
Sorry, badgering me won't work.
What you should have said is:
171
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,926
"It's pointless to keep this a secret.
Penny will tell."
172
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:03,321
- Fine, then that.
- All right, I'll tell you.
173
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,721
My goodness,
everyone's on their game today.
174
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:15,647
This is really fun.
175
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,087
Yeah, it's nice to get dressed up
once in a while.
176
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,800
And the hors d'oeuvres are delightful.
177
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,082
- As is the company.
- Aw.
178
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,726
My shirt is itchy, and I wish I were dead.
179
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,050
Hey, everybody, before Howard gets here,
let's all just agree...
180
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,248
- ...to not bring up the letter.
- Of course.
181
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,765
- Sure.
- Absolutely.
182
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,004
If I say yes, can we turn off
that Latin orgy music?
183
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,962
It's ridiculous that we still have to
walk up all these flights of stairs.
184
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:47,045
- Yeah, try doing it in heels.
- I am.
185
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,725
Wait. There's something
I have to tell you.
186
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,407
- What?
- I know what was in your dad's letter.
187
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,921
Sheldon, I swear to God
I'm gonna kill you!
188
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,844
Hey!
189
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,880
I made him tell us.
190
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,529
"Us"? Who else knows?
191
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:11,806
- I know.
- Me too.
192
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,047
Same here.
193
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,725
Shame on all of you.
194
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,407
You know too.
195
00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:19,881
Couldn't leave him with one friend,
could you?
196
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,049
So everybody knows what's in that letter
except for me?
197
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,010
Yes, it's six against one.
Stand down, sir.
198
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:29,806
How could you do this?
199
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,361
I'm sorry.
200
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,723
- If you want, we could tell you.
- I don't want to know.
201
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:36,930
I mean...
202
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,969
I do, but...
203
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,849
I gotta go.
204
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,251
Used me as a human shield?
205
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,609
I panicked.
206
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,728
He looked taller than usual.
207
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:58,126
Howard?
208
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,486
In here.
209
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,160
Sorry.
210
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:05,084
I should've left it alone.
211
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,642
It's okay. I'm sorry I ran off like that.
212
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,890
What are you looking at?
213
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,361
Pictures of my dad and me
when I was a kid.
214
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,085
- That's nice.
- I gotta tell you...
215
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,925
as angry as I am at
Sheldon for blabbing...
216
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:23,085
he did a hell of a job
organizing this closet.
217
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:24,887
Look at this.
218
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:29,329
"Photos of Wolowitz Family
Before Father Left Forever."
219
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,650
Look. Check out 9-year-old Howie
with cornrows.
220
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,964
Neither race was happy
to see me with those.
221
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:45,771
Think you can take a break?
222
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,207
- Why?
- Got a little surprise for you.
223
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,771
Come on.
224
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:52,804
Oh, honey...
225
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,964
I am in no mood to have sex tonight.
226
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,882
I mean, I'll lay there
if you absolutely have to have it, but...
227
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,087
Oh.
228
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,649
What are you guys doing here?
229
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,327
You weren't sure whether you wanted
to know what was in your dad's letter...
230
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,006
so we came up with
kind of a cool solution.
231
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:13,801
Oh, yeah? What's that?
232
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,246
It's simple, really.
233
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:18,483
It occurred to me that
knowing and not knowing...
234
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:23,680
can be achieved by creating a macroscopic
example of quantum superposition...
235
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,872
the principle that a
physical system exists
236
00:14:26,885 --> 00:14:29,887
partially in all its
possible states at once.
237
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,929
We were all thinking it, really.
238
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:36,847
It was kind of the elephant
in the room, so...
239
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:42,965
Anyway, um, I realized
if we each present you...
240
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,646
with an account of
what your father wrote to you...
241
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,725
only one of which is true,
and we don't tell you which one it is...
242
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:54,044
you will forever be
in a state of epistemic ambivalence.
243
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:58,006
Yeah, and I said if it wasn't epistemic,
we might as well not do it.
244
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,724
Sit down, honey.
245
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,291
- Raj, you're up.
- Okay, um, ahem.
246
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,607
It was a card for your 18th birthday.
247
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:14,886
Inside it said, "Happy birthday, Howard.
I love you. Dad."
248
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,804
Oh, and it was a "Far Side" card...
249
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,851
the one where the frog has its tongue
stuck to the underside of an airplane.
250
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,802
Thinks it's a fly.
251
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,403
Silly frog. So funny.
252
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:31,687
Sheldon?
253
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,970
It was a map...
254
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:39,722
leading to the lost treasure
of famous pirate "One-Eyed Willy."
255
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,210
Nice try. That's the plot for Goonies.
256
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,168
- Told you.
- Don't.
257
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,166
Amy?
258
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,569
You didn't know it...
259
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:58,606
but your father was in the auditorium
at your high school graduation...
260
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,127
and he cried
because he was so proud of you.
261
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,161
Really?
262
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,927
Or that's complete poppycock which Amy
made up. It still could be the map.
263
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,121
Penny?
264
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:15,406
It was a letter explaining that your dad
wasn't who he said he was.
265
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,688
Eventually his other
life caught up to him...
266
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:20,764
and the only way to keep
you and your mom safe was to leave.
267
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,843
I would like to change mine.
268
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:29,809
The pirate's name was Peg-Leg Antoine.
269
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,090
Now it's completely different from Goonies.
270
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,524
- No, it's not.
- Don't.
271
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,644
Okay, my turn.
272
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,129
Your dad wrote about how family
is the most important thing...
273
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,931
and that you should never
throw it away like he did.
274
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,605
Hmm.
275
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,290
Bernadette?
276
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:57,283
In the envelope was a picture of your dad
holding you the day you were born.
277
00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:02,566
On the back he wrote,
"Howard, my son, my greatest gift."
278
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,766
You okay?
279
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,410
Yeah.
280
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,125
I'm terrific.
281
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,329
So...?
282
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,687
Which one do you think it is...
283
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,730
matey?
284
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,048
Actually, I don't wanna know.
285
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,966
I want all of them to be true.
286
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,360
Well, one of them is.
287
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,409
That's pretty cool.
288
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,684
Thank you, guys.
289
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:46,250
Hey, it's still early.
Why don't we go back and have that party?
290
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,289
- Yeah.
- Okay.
291
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:51,600
Yeah, surprisingly...
292
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:55,446
the letter from your father wasn't
the most interesting thing in the closet.
293
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,729
Bernadette's diary
has some saucy passages.
294
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,609
- Sheldon, don't you dare.
- Nothing to worry about.
295
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,330
Your secret's safe with me.
296
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,249
That's more like it.
297
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:12,088
Although copyright law would allow me to
quote snippets in the context of a review.
298
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,365
I'm glad you're feeling better.
299
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,806
Me too.
300
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,561
But if I'd known we were gonna be dancing,
I would've wore my flats.
301
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,488
- Well, this turned out pretty well, huh?
- Yeah, I think so.
302
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:41,884
I agree. That is, if you've never
been to or heard of a party before.
303
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:47,168
If you'd let me pierce your brain
with a hot needle in the right place...
304
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,408
you'd be happy all the time.
305
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:57,123
Penny, I have a couple of questions
about your closet.
306
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,245
Is there any reason
you're keeping this dead goldfish?
307
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,890
Damn, I forgot to feed him.
308
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,609
And that I had him.
309
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,411
Well, now, did you also have a dog?
310
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,690
Because I found what appears to be
a battery-operated chew toy...
311
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,446
Party's over! Party's over!
24767
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