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♪
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00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,826
["Candy Cane Lane" by Sia
playing]
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00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:14,351
♪ Take a trip down
Candy Cane Lane with me ♪
4
00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:17,137
♪ It's the cutest thing
I swear you'll ever see ♪
5
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:20,662
♪ It's the best,
so get dressed ♪
6
00:02:20,705 --> 00:02:25,493
♪ I'll impress you with
the colors of the rainbow ♪
7
00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:29,149
♪ Take a trip down
Candy Cane Lane with me ♪
8
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:31,673
♪ It's so magical,
let's go there in your dreams ♪
9
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,196
♪ It's the best...
10
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,285
TRUDY: ...so surprised when
he saw all those presents
11
00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:38,070
under the Christmas tree,
and she was one of them.
12
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,072
Now, this house
was originally owned
13
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:41,987
by Herbert Flackshaw,
14
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,294
who started this tradition
on Candy Cane Lane.
15
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:45,991
He even hired his nephew Otis
16
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,733
to play Santa Claus
for many years,
17
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:51,519
until he was arrested
for child endangerment in 1992.
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00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:54,043
Ooh, you guys got to look
at this house.
19
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,392
This house is the site...
20
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,481
HARPER:
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00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,788
Are you having fun?
22
00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,746
[laughing]:
Yes, I think this is cute.
23
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,139
It is. Yeah.
24
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,402
Oh, God, you hate it.
25
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:07,187
[laughing]:
No, I don't hate it.
26
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,101
Baby, I'm just not
a huge Christmas person.
27
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:11,234
I know, I know, but...
[groans]
28
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,802
how can you not like the lights
and the decorations
29
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,586
and the Christmas trees?
30
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,936
Fun fact: did you know
31
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,938
that Christmas trees
are responsible
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00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:23,028
for an annual average
of four deaths,
33
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:25,117
15 injuries
34
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:28,469
and a loss of $12 million?
35
00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:30,210
[laughing]:
Okay, I get it.
36
00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,037
-I think you made your point.
-[chuckles]
37
00:03:32,081 --> 00:03:34,126
Thank you for trying to get me
to like Christmas.
38
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,606
I love that you love it.
39
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,608
I'm just so content taking care
of other people's pets
40
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,306
-when they're away
for the holiday...
-[gasps]
41
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:40,742
Come with me.
42
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,354
Wait, where are we going?
43
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,792
Do you know these people?
44
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:49,881
-What are you doing?
-No. Come here.
45
00:03:54,059 --> 00:03:56,845
[grunts]
Still not clear on the plan.
46
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,326
Will you shut up
and follow me, please?
47
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,371
Come on.
48
00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:02,764
[scoffs]
49
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:11,163
[Harper sighs]
50
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:15,385
Well, does this
do anything for you?
51
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:21,826
This is beautiful.
52
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,787
HARPER: I hate that you're
gonna be alone on Christmas.
53
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:27,658
I'm gonna miss you.
54
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,660
ABBY:
Hey, I'm gonna miss you, too.
55
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,575
HARPER:
We could just stay up here.
56
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,580
-I'd do that.
-[chuckles]
57
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,670
WOMAN:
Hey! I hear you up there!
58
00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:41,019
-I'm calling the police!
-[gasps]
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00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:42,456
-Um...
-[gasping]
60
00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:43,892
[both grunting]
61
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:45,807
-[sliding]
-[Abby grunts]
62
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,504
-Abby?
-Harper!
63
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:50,028
[screams] Oh, my God.
64
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:51,769
-Are you okay?
-Um...
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00:04:51,813 --> 00:04:54,119
I don't know.
Uh, what do I do?
66
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,078
Stay there.
I'm gonna get you down.
67
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:57,514
Okay. Yeah.
68
00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:59,386
-Shit.
-Uh...
69
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,258
[gasps] Oh.
70
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,912
What are you doing out there?
71
00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:05,696
-Harper!
-Are you peeping?
72
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,307
Don't you peep at me.
73
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,351
Oh, God! [yells]
74
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,657
-[air hissing]
-HARPER: Abby?
75
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,702
[groaning]
76
00:05:11,746 --> 00:05:13,487
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
77
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,053
I'm so great.
78
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,577
Here, here.
Yeah, yeah, come on.
79
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:17,839
We got to go. Come on.
80
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,057
-She's coming. Go. Run.
-Oh. Hey...
81
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,407
Yeah, you better run.
82
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,104
-Pervert.
-[laughing]
83
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:24,106
Who said you could
come downstairs?
84
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,760
Giddyap.
85
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,849
[both laughing]
86
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:30,112
[whooping]
87
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,289
[laughing continues]
88
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:47,259
[Harper sighs]
89
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:48,783
Come with me.
90
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,393
Where?
91
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,917
To my parents' house
for Christmas.
92
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,529
Oh, really?
93
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:57,400
I've got the pets to sit.
94
00:05:57,444 --> 00:06:00,272
Oh, my God, get someone
to cover for you. [chuckles]
95
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:02,492
I want to...
96
00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:05,190
wake up with you
on Christmas morning.
97
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:08,237
And if that doesn't
convince you to love Christmas,
98
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,326
I'll never bring it up again.
99
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,722
Deal.
100
00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:16,724
-Yeah.
-Mm.
101
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,814
♪
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00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:31,347
["Jingle Bells" by Joy Oladokun
playing]
103
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,655
[in distance]:
♪ Dashing through the snow
104
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:37,919
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh
105
00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:41,270
♪ O'er the fields we go
106
00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:44,491
♪ Laughing all the way
107
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:47,624
♪ Bells on bobtails ring
108
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:50,410
-[door closes]
-♪ Making spirits bright
109
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:54,196
♪ What fun it is
to laugh and sing ♪
110
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:57,155
♪ A sleighing song tonight
111
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,114
♪ Oh, jingle bells...
112
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,376
Hi.
113
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:01,551
Hey.
114
00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:02,813
Sit down.
115
00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,946
What's going on in here?
116
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:08,602
I just woke up thinking about
going home with you and got...
117
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,473
very excited about Christmas.
118
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:14,869
Oh... baby, you don't...
you don't have to come with me.
119
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,044
-Well, I want to.
-No.
120
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,828
No, no, no, no, I...
[sighs]
121
00:07:17,872 --> 00:07:20,004
I feel like I really put you
on the spot last night,
122
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:22,529
and I understand how you feel
about Christmas
123
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,661
because you lost your parents,
and you just don't have...
124
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:26,794
No, no, no,
I-I genuinely want to go.
125
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,665
Uh-huh.
126
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:31,755
I get to go meet the people
that made my favorite person.
127
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,496
Okay.
128
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,194
But who's gonna look after
all those pets?
129
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,283
John's gonna cover for me.
130
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,855
I know why you're worried.
131
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,988
But don't be.
132
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,207
I'm all in on Christmas.
133
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,818
[inhales deeply]
134
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,820
-Mm-hmm?
-Good.
135
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,474
Yeah.
136
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:58,129
ABBY: So, for the cat,
you can go every other day,
137
00:07:58,173 --> 00:08:00,480
but the dog and the fish need
to be seen morning and night.
138
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:01,655
-Okay.
-Oh, and the apartment on Butler
139
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,570
has this weird lock,
so if you jiggle it,
140
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,702
it will lock, but you have to
make sure that you do that.
141
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,530
-Yes.
-What are you doing
on your phone?
142
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:10,098
I'm sorry, I left a gentleman
alone in my apartment,
143
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:12,056
so I'm tracking him
to make sure he leaves.
144
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,058
-You're tracking him?
-Yeah. I track everybody.
145
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:16,408
If the NSA can do it, so can I.
146
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,062
And he's gone.
Sorry, what were you saying?
147
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,587
I wrote it all down.
148
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,110
They're really specific
directions,
149
00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,894
but if you need anything,
you can obviously call me.
150
00:08:23,938 --> 00:08:26,157
Abigail, don't worry.
I'm responsible for
151
00:08:26,201 --> 00:08:28,203
the careers
of dozens of authors.
152
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,639
I am more than capable
of taking care
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00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:30,858
of a few pets for two days.
154
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:33,034
It's... it's five days.
155
00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,078
Five days.
That's what I said.
156
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:34,992
-WAITER: Refill?
-Hi.
157
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,516
And I sort of think I made
158
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,256
the right decision,
but at the same time...
159
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,562
What is Ultrasuede?
160
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:42,609
Ultrasuede is, like,
a water-resistant fabric.
161
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,045
Hello.
162
00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:45,568
What are we doing here?
163
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:47,091
Hi. Can I help you?
164
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,745
Yeah, I'm picking up.
My name's Abby Holland.
165
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,573
Oh, yes, of course.
Um, just wait right here.
166
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,749
I'll be right back.
Oh, enjoy some champagne.
167
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,534
Oh.
168
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:55,622
Thank you.
169
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:57,580
I love champagne.
170
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:00,452
Here we are.
171
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:02,629
-May I?
-Yeah, of course. Thanks.
172
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,332
There it is.
173
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,855
No.
174
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,598
Abby, you and Harper have
a perfect relationship.
175
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,382
Why do you want to ruin that
176
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,776
by engaging in one of
the most archaic institutions
177
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,996
in the history
of the human race?
178
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:23,737
Because I want to marry her.
179
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,522
Okay, you say that,
but what you're actually doing
180
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,742
is tricking the woman
you claim to love
181
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,309
by trapping her in a box
of heteronormativity
182
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,137
and trying to make her
your property.
183
00:09:33,181 --> 00:09:35,618
She is not a rice cooker
or a cake plate.
184
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,011
She's a human being.
185
00:09:37,054 --> 00:09:38,403
No, it's not about owning her.
186
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:39,883
It's about building
a life with her.
187
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:42,233
She is my person,
188
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,584
and I really want everyone
to know that.
189
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:48,936
I suppose that's one way
of looking at it.
190
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:51,025
So, when are you gonna ask her?
191
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,463
I was thinking of doing it
on New Year's,
192
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,596
but now that
I'm going home with her...
193
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,641
I understand this is
very old-fashioned,
194
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,687
but I'm probably gonna ask
her dad for his blessing
195
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,776
and propose
on Christmas morning.
196
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:07,781
I'm sorry,
ask her dad for his blessing?
197
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:11,175
["Jolly Old Saint Nicholas"
by Caveboy playing]
198
00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,003
Way to stick it
to the patriarchy.
199
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,962
Really well done.
200
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:18,443
♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas
201
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:21,403
♪ Lean your ear this way
202
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:24,841
♪ Don't you tell
a single soul ♪
203
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:27,757
♪ What I'm gonna say...
204
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,150
ABBY:
God, I'm so excited.
205
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:32,283
I can't believe I'm finally
gonna meet everyone.
206
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:36,070
I mean, I haven't had a
family Christmas in ten years.
207
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,507
Also, a fact
you don't know about me:
208
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:41,249
I am actually very good
with parents.
209
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:43,947
Okay, there's something
that we should talk about
210
00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:45,557
before we get
to my parents' house.
211
00:10:45,601 --> 00:10:46,646
What is it?
212
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,604
Do you remember this summer
213
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:52,782
when I came out to my parents
and told them we were together
214
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,045
and they took it really well?
215
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,743
Yeah.
216
00:10:56,786 --> 00:11:01,182
Okay, well, that wasn't
entirely accurate.
217
00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:03,619
They didn't take it well?
218
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,708
No. No, no.
219
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,189
Um...
220
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,147
I didn't tell them.
221
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,935
I was going to,
and then Dad told us
222
00:11:14,978 --> 00:11:16,719
that he was running for mayor,
223
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,069
and it just didn't feel
like the right time,
224
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:21,898
and then now he's trying to get
the support of this donor,
225
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:24,422
and our whole Christmas is
about impressing this person,
226
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,902
which is stressing my mom out
227
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,512
even more than usual,
and I just...
228
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,863
I know that if I tell them now,
229
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:31,734
their reaction
is gonna be colored
230
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,214
by all this other stress,
231
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,738
and I-I'm sorry,
I don't think that's fair.
232
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,479
To you or to us.
233
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:39,133
Then why did you invite me?
234
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:43,572
Because we were just having
such a special night, and...
235
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:47,402
and, fine, I got carried away,
but it's because I love you
236
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:51,058
and-and I want to give you
such a great Christmas.
237
00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:53,495
You're off to
a really great start.
238
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:54,670
I'm so sorry.
239
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,716
So, who do they think I am?
240
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,152
My roommate.
241
00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:00,110
They don't think it's weird
that you're bringing
242
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,851
your roommate home
for Christmas?
243
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,636
No, because I told them that
you had nowhere else to go
244
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:08,728
because your parents
are no longer with us.
245
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,077
I'm not going.
246
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:14,037
Look, this is actually
a really good opportunity
247
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:19,303
for them to see how amazing
and kind and smart you are.
248
00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:21,305
You said it yourself,
you're great with parents,
249
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,785
so they're gonna meet you,
250
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,352
they're gonna
fall in love with you,
251
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:26,267
and then that'll make it
so much easier
252
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:27,616
when I do tell them.
253
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:31,576
Look...
254
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,930
I get it, okay?
255
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:40,020
I am asking a lot of you.
256
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,718
But I promise
I will tell them everything
257
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,720
after the holidays.
258
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:53,947
Okay, we can do this.
259
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,690
It's five days.
260
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,562
How bad can it be?
261
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:02,694
["Jingle Bells" instrumental
playing]
262
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,011
ABBY: Should I have some sort
of cover story or something?
263
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,143
HARPER:
Oh, no, no.
264
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:17,840
-Just be you.
-Okay.
265
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,537
I mean, but don't, you know,
266
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:22,149
say that we're together,
obviously, and, um...
267
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:26,544
you know, maybe don't mention
that you're, um...
268
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:28,024
-Gay?
-Yeah.
269
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:29,373
Yeah, I think, actually,
270
00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:30,984
it might be better
just to avoid it.
271
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:32,289
But don't lie.
272
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,204
You're a very bad liar.
273
00:13:34,248 --> 00:13:35,466
No, I'm not.
274
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:39,427
-Hi!
-Hi.
275
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:40,907
Wait.
276
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,299
-Mom, what are you doing?
-[camera clicking]
277
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:45,041
I started an Instagram feed
278
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:48,871
for your father to give voters
a peek behind the curtain.
279
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,655
Your mother's going viral!
280
00:13:50,699 --> 00:13:52,266
[all chuckle]
281
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:53,397
TIPPER:
Hi!
282
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:54,964
BOTH:
Aw.
283
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:56,879
Look at you.
284
00:13:56,923 --> 00:14:01,318
You get more and more beautiful
every single time I see you.
285
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,755
[laughing]:
Mom, stop.
286
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:05,279
Did you bring concealer?
287
00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:06,976
Yeah. This is Abby.
288
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,369
Hi, Abby.
289
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:10,066
-[chuckles]
-It is so nice to meet you.
290
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,459
It's so nice to meet you, too.
291
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:12,677
Thank you for having me here.
292
00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,114
It is nothing.
293
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,420
Harper's father and I
are always happy
294
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,466
to open our doors
to those in need.
295
00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:19,902
Where is Dad?
296
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,252
-Uh, he's on a call.
-Oh, okay. Well...
297
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,950
-Harper!
-[gasping, yelling]
298
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,213
-Oh, Jane.
-[Jane laughing]
299
00:14:26,256 --> 00:14:27,954
Oh, I have asked you
not to do that.
300
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,477
I know.
I didn't listen.
301
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,305
-JANE: Oh. Yay!
-HARPER: Oh.
302
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:33,089
I didn't think you'd be here,
but here you are.
303
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,656
Oh, I didn't want to wait
one more second
304
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,092
-to see my little sis.
-Oh, what's this?
305
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:37,572
-Oh, I was changing
the air filters.
-It's sticky.
306
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,574
Thank you, Jane.
307
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,271
Yeah, hi.
You must be Abby.
308
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:44,013
-Yeah. Nice to meet you.
-You, too.
309
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:45,754
Um...
310
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:49,889
I'm so sorry
about your parents.
311
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,281
HARPER:
Oh, no.
312
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,283
Uh, it-it ha...
it happened a long time ago.
313
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:56,199
You're so brave.
314
00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:57,766
-ABBY: Oh.
-You don't need to be.
315
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,159
-Jane.
-Mom, can you just...
316
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:00,769
Okay. That's enough, Jane.
317
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:03,337
-Jane, too much. Too much.
-You're always safe with...
318
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,948
So, this is our living room.
319
00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:07,819
Wow, that's a beautiful piano.
320
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,169
Isn't it?
321
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,214
Of course, I wish
my daughters had bothered
322
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:13,390
to learn to play it,
but it does look nice.
323
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,349
I took lessons for eight years.
324
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:16,959
TIPPER:
And this is the den.
325
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,874
You're sure Harry will be there
tomorrow night, right?
326
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:19,962
Perfect.
327
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,529
Oh, uh, Carolyn,
I'll call you later.
328
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,183
My daughter just arrived.
329
00:15:23,226 --> 00:15:24,967
There she is, my perfect girl.
330
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:27,143
-Hi, Dad. [laughs]
-Oh, look at you.
331
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,711
-BOTH: Oh!
-[camera clicks]
332
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:32,148
-Hi, Dad.
-Jane, glad you're here.
333
00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:34,411
The Internet has been
a little spotty.
334
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,457
Ugh, not again.
335
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,068
Oh, and this is
Harper's orphan friend.
336
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:40,809
-HARPER: Oh.
-This is Abby.
337
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,550
-Yes, of course.
-Hey, sir.
338
00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:44,160
[sighs] Terrible.
339
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,293
There, there.
340
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:48,077
Harper, I read your piece
about that senator.
341
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,513
He's got to resign, right?
342
00:15:49,557 --> 00:15:51,298
HARPER: Yeah, I think
it's just a matter of time.
343
00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:53,778
-That was a good piece.
-Aw.
344
00:15:53,822 --> 00:15:54,779
HARPER:
Thanks, Dad.
345
00:15:54,823 --> 00:15:56,433
You know what was really good?
346
00:15:56,477 --> 00:15:58,783
Um, the speech that you made at
the food bank on Thanksgiving.
347
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:01,177
Oh, thank you. You-you know,
that speech wasn't scripted.
348
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,787
I just... It just came to me.
349
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,485
You could tell.
I mean, you were very...
350
00:16:04,528 --> 00:16:06,313
Okay, enough shoptalk.
Let's continue.
351
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:08,315
-Okay. Bye.
-TED: See you later.
352
00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:10,926
And this is Sloane's room.
353
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,189
She's my eldest.
354
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:14,538
That's a lot of trophies.
355
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:15,931
Yes.
356
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,585
She was brilliant.
357
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:19,239
She and her husband Eric--
358
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:22,155
he graduated
top of his class at Yale--
359
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,853
were very successful attorneys,
360
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:28,596
but they gave it all up
to raise their beautiful twins,
361
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:32,469
and now they make gift baskets.
362
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,473
Which is great.
363
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:37,953
HARPER:
Mm-hmm.
364
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,521
What'd I miss? [panting]
365
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,569
Wow.
366
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:48,050
[sighs] I know, right?
367
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,878
Ugh, is it hot in here,
368
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,575
-or is it just him?
-HARPER: Okay.
369
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:53,055
-Yummy, yummy, yummy.
-Okay.
370
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,579
-No. Jane. No.
-Num, num.
371
00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:57,059
HARPER:
Mom, I thought you were gonna
372
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,800
turn this room
into your office.
373
00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:01,063
Men need offices, dear.
374
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:05,502
Oh, that is Harper's old
high school boyfriend Connor!
375
00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:08,462
HARPER:
I asked you to put this away.
376
00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:10,333
TIPPER:
You know, he's still single.
377
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:12,292
-Okay, Mom, stop, please.
-Mm.
378
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,076
Do you have a boyfriend, Abby?
379
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,164
No.
380
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,470
But I have.
381
00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:18,559
'Cause... I have had many.
382
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:22,302
Um, but-but not too many;
an-an appropriate amount.
383
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:24,347
I actually just
went through a breakup.
384
00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:26,741
-Oh, no.
-TIPPER: Abby.
385
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,438
[sighs]:
Yeah, with, um...
386
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:31,006
He was a...
he was a milk... man.
387
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,878
Okay, and I think
we'll just settle in now.
388
00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:37,534
Okay. Well, we'll just
show Abby to her room.
389
00:17:37,578 --> 00:17:40,450
What, is she not gonna
stay up here with me?
390
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,322
Harper, I would never ask
391
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:44,715
two grown women
to share the same bed.
392
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,630
-[laughing]
-Harper.
393
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:49,981
No, A-Abby will stay
in Jane's old room.
394
00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:51,418
-Oh, I could show it to her.
-Okay.
395
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:52,636
I could take her down.
Let's go.
396
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,986
-Settle down.
-JANE: I'm settled!
397
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:57,554
-Okay.
-[door closes]
398
00:17:57,598 --> 00:17:59,730
♪
399
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,123
Oh.
400
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,646
Your room's in the basement.
401
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:04,126
Oh, yeah.
I had night terrors.
402
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,823
They put me down here
so I wouldn't
403
00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:07,434
wake everyone up.
[chuckles]
404
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:09,914
Behold. [chuckles]
405
00:18:12,047 --> 00:18:13,657
Cool, huh?
406
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:14,832
It's very cool.
407
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:17,008
It's my room.
408
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:18,662
Is everything okay?
409
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,099
Yeah. Yeah. Really good.
410
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,752
-No, not you. No.
-Oh.
411
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:23,319
-Yeah.
-TIPPER: Thank you, Jane.
412
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:25,408
Why don't you go on home
and rest up
413
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:26,844
a little bit before dinner?
414
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:28,455
-Okay.
-[chuckles]
415
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,587
Don't have any fun without me.
[laughs]
416
00:18:30,631 --> 00:18:33,024
-Yeah.
-Bye.
417
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,288
I'm sorry about all this mess.
418
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,159
What? No, this is so nice.
419
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,727
Better than your room
at the orphanage?
420
00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:42,121
Oh, I-I wasn't in an orphanage,
421
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:44,775
'cause I-I was 19
when my parents died.
422
00:18:44,819 --> 00:18:47,038
Oh. One of the lucky ones.
423
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,170
Well...
424
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,129
I'll let you settle in.
425
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,261
We leave for dinner at 6:45.
426
00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:53,480
Okay.
427
00:18:53,523 --> 00:18:55,612
Oh, there's no lock
on this door.
428
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,875
We had it removed
because Jane was always scared
429
00:18:57,919 --> 00:19:00,313
that we would lock her in.
430
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:02,489
But don't worry,
you'll have total privacy.
431
00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,273
Okay. [chuckles]
Thank you.
432
00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:05,796
Okay.
433
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:11,367
♪ Nothing rhymes
with Christmas ♪
434
00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:14,240
♪ Every poet knows...
435
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,545
-JANE: Milady.
-ABBY: Thank you.
436
00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:18,113
Is this all right?
437
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,593
This is perfect, Colleen.
Thank you.
438
00:19:19,636 --> 00:19:22,117
Oh, actually, I think we're
gonna need one more chair.
439
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,379
COLLEEN:
I'll have one brought over.
440
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:25,120
Oh, who else is joining us?
441
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,861
Hey, guys. How's it going?
442
00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:29,690
[chuckling]: Connor!
How funny to see you here.
443
00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:31,213
You told me to be here
at 7:00, right?
444
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:32,562
-Shh. Oh, wow.
-JANE: Hey.
445
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:34,173
TED:
Great to see you, Connor.
446
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:35,217
-Hey, Ted. How you doing?
-Great.
447
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,958
-Hi, Connor.
-Hi, Jane.
448
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,220
-Hi. It's been a minute.
-Hi.
449
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:39,352
-How are you?
-Yeah. Hey.
450
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,397
Connor, this is
Harper's friend Abby.
451
00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:42,616
-Oh, hey. Connor.
-Hey.
452
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:43,704
-She's an orphan.
-Oh, um...
453
00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:44,966
-Jane...
-I'm so sorry.
454
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:46,185
-CONNOR: I...
-What are you doing?
455
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:47,316
-She is.
-No, it's-it's...
456
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,361
It's all we have.
457
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:49,579
TIPPER:
All right.
458
00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,233
Thank you.
Let's all take a seat.
459
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,235
[Harper sighing]
460
00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:57,805
-Do you want to switch?
-No.
461
00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,937
-No, this is perfect.
-Okay.
462
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,939
JANE: And then in the third
chapter, the Shadow Dreamers
463
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,419
discover that the gemstone
464
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:04,942
that they thought
was inside the gork
465
00:20:04,986 --> 00:20:06,727
was actually stolen
by an evil floam,
466
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:08,163
which is sort of like a maggel
467
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,904
but with less arms
and more powers.
468
00:20:09,947 --> 00:20:11,253
Oh, wow.
469
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,646
That's amazing. It really is.
470
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:13,734
Jane, I just can't believe
471
00:20:13,777 --> 00:20:14,778
you're still working
on that book.
472
00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:15,866
It's been like ten years.
473
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:17,433
Takes a long time
to build a world.
474
00:20:17,477 --> 00:20:20,958
You know what I was
thinking about the other day?
475
00:20:21,002 --> 00:20:23,526
I was thinking about that trip
476
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:26,094
that we took to our old house
in Jackson Hole
477
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:28,401
-when Harper got chicken pox.
-CONNOR: Oh, yeah.
478
00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:29,619
CONNOR [laughing]:
Oh, God.
479
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:30,968
Harper told me this story.
480
00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:32,274
Then you must know
481
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:35,103
that she very quickly
gave it to Connor.
482
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:36,409
-Yes, she did.
-[laughter]
483
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:37,932
-Very quickly.
-TED: The two of them
484
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,890
didn't leave the cabin
for the whole trip,
485
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:41,327
if I remember correctly.
486
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:43,503
Literally in a cabin
running a fever.
487
00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:44,808
-TED: Yeah.
-Together.
488
00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:46,593
-Together. Yep, yep.
-Really laughing a lot.
489
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:48,334
CONNOR: It was ground zero
for chicken pox.
490
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:50,161
Yeah. God, that was fun.
You know, I really,
491
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:51,728
-really loved going
on those trips.
-Fun.
492
00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:53,556
-Well, we loved having you, son.
-That was lovely.
493
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,079
Should we go
to the ladies' room?
494
00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:57,821
Oh, I... I would hate to miss
some of these stories.
495
00:20:57,865 --> 00:20:59,910
No, we'll be quick.
496
00:21:03,174 --> 00:21:05,786
-[chuckles]
-I am so sorry.
497
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,744
I had no idea
he was gonna be here.
498
00:21:07,788 --> 00:21:09,224
I swear.
499
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,182
It's funny, I remember you
telling me that story.
500
00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:13,010
I think you just forgot
to mention that Connor
501
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:14,838
-was also there.
-[sighs] I know.
502
00:21:14,882 --> 00:21:16,405
I-I don't know,
he didn't seem like
503
00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:18,755
an important part of the story.
504
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:22,411
Look, I'm gonna talk to my mom,
and I'm gonna make sure that
505
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:25,327
nothing like this happens
for the rest of the trip, okay?
506
00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:28,939
You can be
totally honest with me.
507
00:21:28,983 --> 00:21:30,332
Like, about anything.
508
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:32,116
Seriously, I can take it.
509
00:21:33,161 --> 00:21:34,858
Okay.
510
00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,862
Then you should know that
it is very difficult
511
00:21:38,906 --> 00:21:41,952
to sit next to you at dinner
and not be able to kiss you.
512
00:21:46,957 --> 00:21:48,698
Yeah.
513
00:21:49,699 --> 00:21:51,484
No more surprises.
514
00:21:51,527 --> 00:21:53,181
I promise.
515
00:21:57,620 --> 00:21:59,970
-Riley.
-RILEY: Mm.
516
00:22:00,014 --> 00:22:01,798
Harper.
517
00:22:02,799 --> 00:22:04,671
Mm. Uh...
518
00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:06,412
Sorry, um...
519
00:22:06,455 --> 00:22:07,935
Riley, this is Abby.
520
00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:09,806
-Abby is my...
-Orphan.
521
00:22:09,850 --> 00:22:11,199
Roommate. We...
522
00:22:11,242 --> 00:22:13,157
I am an orphan,
but we live together.
523
00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:14,420
As friends, um,
like acquaintances.
524
00:22:14,463 --> 00:22:16,204
-Oh, please stop.
-Yeah.
525
00:22:16,247 --> 00:22:17,901
Nice to meet you.
526
00:22:17,945 --> 00:22:19,990
So, I'm just gonna
sneak on by you guys.
527
00:22:20,034 --> 00:22:21,209
Oh, God. Sorry.
528
00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:23,211
Sorry. Just...
529
00:22:25,169 --> 00:22:26,693
Was that the Riley?
530
00:22:26,736 --> 00:22:29,826
Okay, that one
really wasn't my fault.
531
00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:31,437
Well, who knows, maybe...
532
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,048
maybe another one of your exes
will bring out dessert.
533
00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:36,442
-Okay.
-Oh, my God.
534
00:22:36,485 --> 00:22:39,532
Harper, did you see
that the Bennetts are here?
535
00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:40,663
HARPER:
Uh...
536
00:22:42,273 --> 00:22:43,797
Yeah. We just ran into Riley.
537
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,712
Did you hear she's doing
her residency at Johns Hopkins?
538
00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:47,583
I should have her look
at my mole.
539
00:22:47,627 --> 00:22:50,369
No, um, I hadn't heard that.
540
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:51,892
It's very impressive.
541
00:22:51,935 --> 00:22:53,546
Her parents must be proud.
542
00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:55,069
And relieved.
543
00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:56,984
I know. That lifestyle choice.
544
00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:59,378
-[Tipper chuckles]
-TED: Mm. Such a shame.
545
00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:00,422
Abby, what do you do?
546
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:02,903
Oh, I'm-I'm working on my PhD
547
00:23:02,946 --> 00:23:05,384
in art history
over at Carnegie Mellon.
548
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:07,037
My parents were
professors there,
549
00:23:07,081 --> 00:23:09,475
so I kind of wanted to follow
in their footsteps.
550
00:23:09,518 --> 00:23:11,564
You know, before law school,
551
00:23:11,607 --> 00:23:15,306
I took all the money I had
and went to Paris for a month.
552
00:23:15,350 --> 00:23:17,570
Spent every day in museums.
553
00:23:17,613 --> 00:23:20,399
That experience made me
the man I am.
554
00:23:20,442 --> 00:23:21,922
That-that must have been
incredible.
555
00:23:21,965 --> 00:23:23,053
What a dream.
556
00:23:23,097 --> 00:23:25,142
It was.
557
00:23:25,186 --> 00:23:27,667
Boy, Carnegie Mellon, huh?
558
00:23:27,710 --> 00:23:29,582
Bet you could teach me
a thing or two.
559
00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:31,105
-[chuckles]
-JANE: Should I go over there?
560
00:23:31,148 --> 00:23:32,280
TED:
No, darling, no.
561
00:23:32,323 --> 00:23:33,499
JANE:
I do think it's getting bigger.
562
00:23:33,542 --> 00:23:35,065
-TIPPER: No.
-TED: Stay at the table, Jane.
563
00:23:35,109 --> 00:23:37,198
♪
564
00:23:38,765 --> 00:23:39,896
[knocking]
565
00:23:41,942 --> 00:23:44,466
-Oh. You settling in okay?
-Hey.
566
00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:45,815
Yeah. Yeah.
567
00:23:45,859 --> 00:23:49,471
You're such a wonderful host,
so I'm great.
568
00:23:49,515 --> 00:23:51,038
Thank you, Abby.
569
00:23:51,081 --> 00:23:52,300
Thank you.
570
00:23:52,343 --> 00:23:53,606
-Hi.
-Hi, sweetie.
571
00:23:53,649 --> 00:23:54,998
Do you need something?
572
00:23:55,042 --> 00:23:56,957
No, just to say good night
to Abby.
573
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,741
Oh.
574
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:02,005
Mom, do you mind?
575
00:24:02,049 --> 00:24:03,790
Oh. [laughs]
576
00:24:03,833 --> 00:24:05,618
I get it. Girl talk.
577
00:24:05,661 --> 00:24:07,402
Okay, when you finish, um,
578
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,491
I want to give you a little
early Christmas present.
579
00:24:09,535 --> 00:24:10,623
Ooh, okay.
580
00:24:10,666 --> 00:24:12,233
-Night.
-TIPPER: Night, Abby.
581
00:24:14,844 --> 00:24:16,629
[sighs]
582
00:24:18,369 --> 00:24:20,284
Tonight wasn't the best.
583
00:24:20,328 --> 00:24:21,851
Yeah.
584
00:24:21,895 --> 00:24:23,418
But we got through it.
585
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:25,028
You know, you're right.
586
00:24:25,072 --> 00:24:27,030
You are really good
with parents.
587
00:24:27,074 --> 00:24:28,728
You think they like me?
588
00:24:28,771 --> 00:24:30,469
Definitely.
589
00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:33,515
You think they like me
as much as they love Connor?
590
00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:35,865
Oh, no. No, no.
591
00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:38,259
But they don't even really
like me that much, so...
592
00:24:38,302 --> 00:24:39,913
[laughing]:
Oh.
593
00:24:39,956 --> 00:24:42,350
-[Harper mutters]
-[laughing]
594
00:24:45,309 --> 00:24:47,355
-I love you.
-I love you.
595
00:24:49,531 --> 00:24:51,533
-[chuckling]: Stop it.
-[laughs]
596
00:24:52,665 --> 00:24:54,841
JOHN:
The hell did it go?
597
00:24:54,884 --> 00:24:57,670
Cheap freaking puzzle.
598
00:24:57,713 --> 00:24:59,672
[cell phone vibrating]
599
00:24:59,715 --> 00:25:02,022
Yeah, Abby, I'm in the middle
of something right now.
600
00:25:02,065 --> 00:25:03,632
-Is everything okay?
-ABBY: Yeah.
601
00:25:03,676 --> 00:25:04,764
I'm just checking
on the animals.
602
00:25:04,807 --> 00:25:05,678
Oh, they're all good.
603
00:25:05,721 --> 00:25:06,853
I walked the dog.
604
00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:08,071
Fed him, fed the cats.
605
00:25:08,115 --> 00:25:10,073
-All are well.
-What about the fish?
606
00:25:11,205 --> 00:25:12,685
Uh, the fish are... Yeah.
607
00:25:12,728 --> 00:25:15,035
The-the-the fish are-are...
Yes. Yeah.
608
00:25:15,078 --> 00:25:16,210
But enough about me.
609
00:25:16,253 --> 00:25:18,691
Have you managed
to get a man's permission
610
00:25:18,734 --> 00:25:21,737
to take ownership
of an adult human woman yet?
611
00:25:21,781 --> 00:25:23,173
Not exactly.
612
00:25:23,217 --> 00:25:24,566
What's going on?
You sound tense.
613
00:25:24,610 --> 00:25:26,089
No, I'm not tense. I'm great.
614
00:25:26,133 --> 00:25:28,091
There's just one tiny thing.
615
00:25:28,135 --> 00:25:29,832
Um...
616
00:25:31,225 --> 00:25:32,443
Harper isn't out,
617
00:25:32,487 --> 00:25:34,010
and her parents don't know
we're together.
618
00:25:34,054 --> 00:25:37,100
Okay, you know what, I always
felt like something was off.
619
00:25:37,144 --> 00:25:39,015
You can't go over a year
without meeting
620
00:25:39,059 --> 00:25:40,277
your significant other's
parents.
621
00:25:40,321 --> 00:25:42,453
Trust me, I have tried.
622
00:25:42,497 --> 00:25:45,195
It's not that big a deal,
she plans on telling them
immediately after the holidays.
623
00:25:45,239 --> 00:25:46,719
So, what,
her parents are believing
624
00:25:46,762 --> 00:25:48,590
that their straight daughter
brought home
625
00:25:48,634 --> 00:25:51,245
her lesbian friend
for Christmas?
626
00:25:51,288 --> 00:25:52,551
No. [scoffs]
627
00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:55,902
No. They also think that I'm...
628
00:25:55,945 --> 00:25:58,078
that I'm straight.
629
00:25:58,121 --> 00:25:59,819
Have they ever met a lesbian?
630
00:25:59,862 --> 00:26:01,081
It's not so bad.
631
00:26:01,124 --> 00:26:03,039
It's kind of fun
having a secret.
632
00:26:03,083 --> 00:26:04,606
Yeah, I mean,
there's nothing more erotic
633
00:26:04,650 --> 00:26:06,521
than concealing
your authentic selves.
634
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:09,698
I know it's not ideal. I...
635
00:26:09,742 --> 00:26:12,222
But I-I know that it's what
she needs right now, so...
636
00:26:14,442 --> 00:26:16,531
♪
637
00:26:20,317 --> 00:26:22,493
[gasps]
638
00:26:22,537 --> 00:26:23,930
Who are you?
639
00:26:23,973 --> 00:26:26,019
I'm Abby.
640
00:26:26,062 --> 00:26:27,716
Do you work here?
641
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:29,370
No, I'm H-Harper's friend.
642
00:26:29,413 --> 00:26:31,372
SLOANE:
Kids?
643
00:26:31,415 --> 00:26:32,939
Where are you?
644
00:26:32,982 --> 00:26:34,941
Hey.
645
00:26:34,984 --> 00:26:37,117
What are you doing in here?
Out.
646
00:26:38,684 --> 00:26:40,555
MATILDA:
But that's our room.
647
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,078
Sorry about them. I'm Sloane.
648
00:26:42,122 --> 00:26:43,906
MATILDA: Why does she get
to sleep in there?
649
00:26:43,950 --> 00:26:46,648
-Hi. I'm...
-SLOANE: Because
she's a grown-up, sweetie.
650
00:26:46,692 --> 00:26:48,345
...Abby.
651
00:26:48,389 --> 00:26:50,652
SLOANE [in distance]:
Come. We're having breakfast.
652
00:27:03,404 --> 00:27:04,666
[yawns]
653
00:27:04,710 --> 00:27:06,320
Are you tired?
654
00:27:06,363 --> 00:27:08,061
Not me. I like the morning.
655
00:27:08,104 --> 00:27:11,151
But then I have something
meaningful to get out of
bed for, so...
656
00:27:11,194 --> 00:27:13,414
KIDS:
Thank you, Mommy.
657
00:27:13,457 --> 00:27:14,937
Snowman pancakes.
658
00:27:14,981 --> 00:27:16,635
God, that's a lot of work
for something
659
00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:18,158
that's just gonna turn to shit.
660
00:27:18,201 --> 00:27:19,942
Oh, but that's kind of like
your law degree.
661
00:27:19,986 --> 00:27:22,031
It must be freeing to be
so self-involved you don't
662
00:27:22,075 --> 00:27:24,033
realize that's actually
not appropriate language
663
00:27:24,077 --> 00:27:25,252
to use in front of children.
664
00:27:25,295 --> 00:27:26,645
We got everything
out of the van.
665
00:27:27,733 --> 00:27:28,995
-Thank you, honey.
-Mm-hmm.
666
00:27:29,038 --> 00:27:31,040
-Oh, this is...
-Abby. I'm Eric.
667
00:27:31,084 --> 00:27:32,520
-Nice to meet you.
-Mm-hmm.
668
00:27:32,563 --> 00:27:34,174
A teaspoon of coconut oil--
669
00:27:34,217 --> 00:27:36,089
add some nice moisture
to those hands.
670
00:27:36,132 --> 00:27:37,699
Oh.
671
00:27:37,743 --> 00:27:39,005
Yeah, thank you.
672
00:27:42,225 --> 00:27:45,315
So, you and your sister
are pretty intense.
673
00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:47,666
What do you mean?
674
00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:48,884
-Freeze!
-ERIC: Ooh.
675
00:27:48,928 --> 00:27:52,496
Don't move one more muscle
before I hug you!
676
00:27:52,540 --> 00:27:54,194
-Hi, Jane.
-Oh. Oh, hi!
677
00:27:54,237 --> 00:27:55,717
-Oh. Yay.
-[Jane laughs]
678
00:27:55,761 --> 00:27:56,762
[Sloane clears throat]
679
00:27:56,805 --> 00:27:58,720
-JANE: Hi, Eric. Hi.
-ERIC: Hi, Jane.
680
00:27:58,764 --> 00:28:01,636
Hi, you guys. Hi.
681
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:02,855
Um... [chuckles]
682
00:28:02,898 --> 00:28:04,552
Gosh, you're so big.
683
00:28:04,595 --> 00:28:06,554
What are you, college students?
684
00:28:06,597 --> 00:28:09,035
We're in elementary school.
685
00:28:09,078 --> 00:28:11,080
Yeah. No, I-I know. I'm just...
686
00:28:11,124 --> 00:28:13,169
You're just so tall, you know?
687
00:28:13,213 --> 00:28:14,693
-Here they are.
-My babies.
688
00:28:16,477 --> 00:28:18,827
Aw...
689
00:28:18,871 --> 00:28:20,873
-Hi, Daddy.
-Did you get Harper's
article I sent you?
690
00:28:20,916 --> 00:28:22,744
-SLOANE: I did.
-TED: Good, right?
691
00:28:22,788 --> 00:28:23,963
-Mm. Mm-hmm. Mm.
-Uh-huh.
692
00:28:24,006 --> 00:28:25,704
-ERIC: Ted.
-Eric.
693
00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:27,140
-Good to see you.
-SLOANE: Hi, Mom.
694
00:28:27,183 --> 00:28:28,315
TIPPER [chuckling]:
Hi.
695
00:28:28,358 --> 00:28:30,099
-Morning.
-Morning, Abby.
696
00:28:30,143 --> 00:28:32,667
Hey, girls, come here.
697
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:34,103
Just-just-just come over here.
698
00:28:34,147 --> 00:28:35,801
-TIPPER: Just move a bit.
-TED: I cannot believe
699
00:28:35,844 --> 00:28:39,065
I've got all my daughters
under one roof.
700
00:28:39,108 --> 00:28:41,023
-Mm, mm.
-This is great content.
701
00:28:41,067 --> 00:28:42,503
-Oh.
-Hold it. Hold it.
702
00:28:42,546 --> 00:28:43,504
-And smile.
-TED: Hold on.
703
00:28:43,547 --> 00:28:45,288
-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
-Got it.
704
00:28:45,332 --> 00:28:46,942
Okay. I got to shower.
705
00:28:46,986 --> 00:28:48,944
-Hey, big night tonight, girls.
-That's too much.
706
00:28:48,988 --> 00:28:50,641
We're meeting a major donor
at the party.
707
00:28:50,685 --> 00:28:52,469
Harper, I need you
to bring your A game.
708
00:28:52,513 --> 00:28:54,558
-Got it.
-Dad, do you need me
to do anything?
709
00:28:54,602 --> 00:28:56,038
Honey, no.
710
00:28:56,082 --> 00:28:58,911
You just bring that beautiful
family and show them off.
711
00:28:58,954 --> 00:29:00,390
Who knows?
712
00:29:00,434 --> 00:29:02,610
These might be the only
grandchildren we ever have.
713
00:29:02,653 --> 00:29:04,133
TIPPER:
And it is crucial
714
00:29:04,177 --> 00:29:06,527
that we take
the family holiday photo
715
00:29:06,570 --> 00:29:08,311
for the Instagram tonight,
716
00:29:08,355 --> 00:29:12,011
so don't wear anything
that will strobe, Jane.
717
00:29:12,054 --> 00:29:14,665
[Jane chuckles softly]
718
00:29:14,709 --> 00:29:16,667
[Jane sighs]
719
00:29:16,711 --> 00:29:18,278
Okay.
720
00:29:18,321 --> 00:29:21,324
Who's ready to go ice-skating?
721
00:29:21,368 --> 00:29:23,587
-Are you ready? [chuckles]
-No.
722
00:29:23,631 --> 00:29:25,633
♪
723
00:29:30,072 --> 00:29:32,292
Let me know if you guys
need any more room.
724
00:29:32,335 --> 00:29:34,816
I can make myself real small.
725
00:29:35,904 --> 00:29:39,081
So, Sloane and Eric, you guys
make gift baskets, right?
726
00:29:39,125 --> 00:29:40,387
No.
727
00:29:40,430 --> 00:29:42,955
We create curated
gift experiences
728
00:29:42,998 --> 00:29:45,392
inside of handmade
reclaimed wood vessels.
729
00:29:45,435 --> 00:29:47,002
Yeah, the vessels are gorgeous.
730
00:29:47,046 --> 00:29:48,003
She has impeccable taste.
731
00:29:48,047 --> 00:29:49,962
Oh, no, honey,
you have the eye.
732
00:29:50,005 --> 00:29:51,398
-Aw.
-Mm.
733
00:29:51,441 --> 00:29:52,703
That sounds great.
734
00:29:52,747 --> 00:29:54,140
SLOANE: Yeah,
Gwynnie seems to think so.
735
00:29:54,183 --> 00:29:55,837
Paltrow. Goop picked us up,
736
00:29:55,881 --> 00:29:57,883
and sales have been
through the roof ever since.
737
00:29:58,884 --> 00:30:00,189
[Harper sighs]
738
00:30:00,233 --> 00:30:02,583
[lively chatter]
739
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:07,893
HARPER:
740
00:30:07,936 --> 00:30:09,285
Hey.
741
00:30:09,329 --> 00:30:11,244
-Are you sure you're okay?
-Yeah.
742
00:30:11,287 --> 00:30:12,854
No, this is so fun.
743
00:30:12,898 --> 00:30:14,203
Whoa.
744
00:30:14,247 --> 00:30:16,597
Sloane, do you need a helper?
745
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,208
Please. I've always
skated circles around you.
746
00:30:19,252 --> 00:30:21,558
[chuckles]
That was in your youth.
747
00:30:21,602 --> 00:30:23,386
I mean, I've lapped you
like 12 times today.
748
00:30:23,430 --> 00:30:26,215
-Like I'm even trying.
-Like it would even matter.
749
00:30:26,259 --> 00:30:28,478
20 bucks says I can do
two laps in under a minute.
750
00:30:28,522 --> 00:30:30,045
50 bucks says I can do three.
751
00:30:30,089 --> 00:30:31,655
Let's do it. Jane, time us.
752
00:30:31,699 --> 00:30:33,048
Oh, I'm actually
having fun just...
753
00:30:33,092 --> 00:30:35,877
-BOTH: Jane.
-Okay, fun. Yeah.
754
00:30:35,921 --> 00:30:37,661
No problem.
755
00:30:37,705 --> 00:30:40,055
♪
756
00:30:41,230 --> 00:30:42,231
JANE:
Ready?
757
00:30:42,275 --> 00:30:44,103
Set.
758
00:30:45,234 --> 00:30:46,496
-Go.
-[both grunt]
759
00:30:49,064 --> 00:30:49,935
[chuckles]
760
00:30:51,066 --> 00:30:52,459
-Move!
-No!
761
00:30:52,502 --> 00:30:54,330
I love it when they do this.
762
00:30:55,505 --> 00:30:56,855
-What are they doing?
-They're racing.
763
00:30:56,898 --> 00:30:58,117
Ah, yeah.
764
00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,902
-Jane, time!
-Oh, I forgot to press start.
765
00:31:00,946 --> 00:31:02,904
-How long do you guys think...
-Don't-don't tell them that.
766
00:31:02,948 --> 00:31:04,514
You need to take
a break yet, Sloane?
767
00:31:04,558 --> 00:31:05,689
Huh, maybe you should just
768
00:31:05,733 --> 00:31:07,300
-worry about yourself.
-Oh, yeah?
769
00:31:08,083 --> 00:31:09,563
-[yelps]
-[man grunts]
770
00:31:09,606 --> 00:31:10,825
-Oh!
-Ooh.
771
00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:12,087
[chuckles]
772
00:31:12,131 --> 00:31:14,046
-[yelps, screams]
-[man grunts]
773
00:31:14,089 --> 00:31:15,525
-Mm.
-Ow.
774
00:31:15,569 --> 00:31:16,918
ABBY:
Should we stop them?
775
00:31:16,962 --> 00:31:18,833
ERIC: No, they'll tire
themselves out eventually.
776
00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:20,095
[laughing]:
Yeah. That's right.
777
00:31:20,139 --> 00:31:21,270
-That's the way it goes.
-HARPER: Whoo!
778
00:31:21,314 --> 00:31:22,706
Get off me!
779
00:31:22,750 --> 00:31:24,056
I love you guys. I love you.
780
00:31:24,099 --> 00:31:25,579
HARPER:
No! You're such a cheater!
781
00:31:25,622 --> 00:31:27,494
-Stop it! [shouts]
-You stop it!
782
00:31:27,537 --> 00:31:30,018
Look, some of us were here
when you said to be here.
783
00:31:30,062 --> 00:31:32,325
-Jane, is... that's
what you're wearing, right?
-Yeah.
784
00:31:32,368 --> 00:31:34,196
All right. Harper!
785
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,590
Eric, can you make them
be still?
786
00:31:36,633 --> 00:31:38,418
Wow.
787
00:31:38,461 --> 00:31:40,115
It's my early
Christmas present.
788
00:31:40,159 --> 00:31:42,335
Harper, please come here.
789
00:31:42,378 --> 00:31:43,597
Honey, we're very late.
790
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:45,555
Ted, the family holiday photo
791
00:31:45,599 --> 00:31:47,949
is an essential element
of every candidate's feed,
792
00:31:47,993 --> 00:31:50,778
and if we cannot manage
to post one,
793
00:31:50,821 --> 00:31:53,520
we do not deserve to have
that account at all.
794
00:31:53,563 --> 00:31:54,825
-All right.
-That is so true.
795
00:31:54,869 --> 00:31:56,044
Jane, get out of the middle.
796
00:31:56,088 --> 00:31:57,437
-Oh.
-SLOANE: You have
to stand, honey.
797
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,308
Abby, would you mind
taking that?
798
00:31:59,352 --> 00:32:01,049
-Yeah, not at all.
-Oh, thank you.
799
00:32:01,093 --> 00:32:03,791
-Okay, here we go. Here we go.
-Around and face this way.
800
00:32:03,834 --> 00:32:05,271
-Thank you.
-Okay.
801
00:32:05,314 --> 00:32:07,621
Everyone say, "Christmas."
802
00:32:07,664 --> 00:32:09,014
No, don't say that.
803
00:32:09,057 --> 00:32:10,363
Just smile.
804
00:32:10,406 --> 00:32:12,365
[camera clicking]
805
00:32:12,408 --> 00:32:14,062
-Okay.
-[Tipper chuckling]
806
00:32:14,106 --> 00:32:16,108
Ah, good. I can't wait.
807
00:32:16,151 --> 00:32:19,024
Blurry. Boring.
808
00:32:19,067 --> 00:32:20,764
Nope. Nope. Nope.
809
00:32:20,808 --> 00:32:22,679
Okay, none of these will do.
810
00:32:22,723 --> 00:32:25,421
Uh, we will try again tomorrow.
811
00:32:25,465 --> 00:32:27,249
-Thank you.
-HARPER: Where's Abby?
812
00:32:27,684 --> 00:32:29,730
♪
813
00:32:31,732 --> 00:32:33,777
[quiet chatter]
814
00:32:46,051 --> 00:32:48,357
Ted, Tipper. [laughs, squeals]
815
00:32:48,401 --> 00:32:50,490
Oh, I'm so glad you made it.
816
00:32:50,533 --> 00:32:52,709
-Oh, mwah. Oh.
-Carolyn, you are a vision.
817
00:32:52,753 --> 00:32:54,494
-TIPPER: Gorgeous dress.
-TED: Mwah.
818
00:32:54,537 --> 00:32:57,062
Uh, you remember my daughters
Harper, Jane and Sloane.
819
00:32:57,105 --> 00:32:58,324
Sloane's husband Eric.
820
00:32:58,367 --> 00:33:00,326
Their children
Matilda and Magnus.
821
00:33:00,369 --> 00:33:02,632
And this is
Harper's friend Abby.
822
00:33:02,676 --> 00:33:04,983
CAROLYN: Charmed.
This is my assistant Levi.
823
00:33:05,026 --> 00:33:06,810
Though, truth be told,
in a few years,
824
00:33:06,854 --> 00:33:08,595
we'll probably all
be working for him.
825
00:33:08,638 --> 00:33:10,075
[laughs]:
Oh, you're too kind.
826
00:33:10,118 --> 00:33:11,598
-Oh.
-Is the white whale here?
827
00:33:11,641 --> 00:33:13,034
Ah, indeed.
Let me take you over.
828
00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:15,167
Oh, Harper, come with us.
829
00:33:15,210 --> 00:33:16,603
Uh, Jane, uh, uh,
keep Abby company.
830
00:33:16,646 --> 00:33:18,300
-You got it.
-Dad, should I come, too?
831
00:33:18,344 --> 00:33:19,780
-I'll come right back.
-Okay.
832
00:33:19,823 --> 00:33:22,130
-N-No, honey. Just,
uh, enjoy yourself.
-Great.
833
00:33:22,174 --> 00:33:23,566
CAROLYN:
Now, Harry's tough.
834
00:33:23,610 --> 00:33:24,785
Don't let her throw you.
835
00:33:24,828 --> 00:33:26,656
I'm gonna take the twins
to the kids' club.
836
00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:28,006
Please order me several drinks.
837
00:33:28,049 --> 00:33:29,007
Yeah.
838
00:33:29,050 --> 00:33:30,269
Come on, you guys.
839
00:33:30,312 --> 00:33:31,879
Let's go play.
840
00:33:31,922 --> 00:33:34,012
JANE:
Okay. Well...
841
00:33:34,055 --> 00:33:36,231
looks like it's just us ladies.
842
00:33:36,275 --> 00:33:38,668
JANE: Now, I don't know
about you, but I am single
843
00:33:38,712 --> 00:33:41,323
and ready to mingle, so...
844
00:33:42,716 --> 00:33:44,935
CAROLYN:
Harry.
845
00:33:44,979 --> 00:33:47,590
-This is...
-Ted Caldwell.
846
00:33:47,634 --> 00:33:49,853
-Ms. Levin, it is an honor.
-[Harry chuckles]
847
00:33:49,897 --> 00:33:51,638
I am gonna leave you two
to get acquainted.
848
00:33:51,681 --> 00:33:52,769
Okay. Thank you.
849
00:33:52,813 --> 00:33:54,423
This is my husband Scott.
850
00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:56,469
-We met on Bumble. [chuckles]
-TED: Pleasure.
851
00:33:56,512 --> 00:33:58,079
And, uh, this is
my wife Tipper.
852
00:33:58,123 --> 00:33:59,820
My daughter Harper,
who writes for the...
853
00:33:59,863 --> 00:34:01,213
"Pittsburgh Post-Gazette."
854
00:34:01,256 --> 00:34:02,605
-HARPER: Yes.
-Yes, I'm familiar.
855
00:34:02,649 --> 00:34:04,085
You've read her work?
856
00:34:04,129 --> 00:34:06,044
Yes.
857
00:34:08,829 --> 00:34:11,049
♪
858
00:34:11,092 --> 00:34:13,703
Hey, could I get a vodka neat?
859
00:34:13,747 --> 00:34:15,444
Thanks.
860
00:34:18,404 --> 00:34:19,840
You're new.
861
00:34:21,668 --> 00:34:24,671
-Yeah, I'm just visiting.
-From where?
862
00:34:24,714 --> 00:34:26,847
I'm really not interested in
meeting anyone tonight, so...
863
00:34:26,890 --> 00:34:28,109
I am.
864
00:34:29,371 --> 00:34:31,156
Oh, I'll have to
check out Goop.
865
00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:33,158
Was that...
When was that one, again?
866
00:34:33,201 --> 00:34:36,465
[quiet, indistinct chatter]
867
00:34:48,303 --> 00:34:49,870
Are you enjoying the party?
868
00:34:49,913 --> 00:34:52,002
Yeah.
869
00:34:52,046 --> 00:34:53,656
That's great.
870
00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:55,267
If my friend ditched me
at a party
871
00:34:55,310 --> 00:34:56,485
where I didn't know anyone,
872
00:34:56,529 --> 00:34:58,313
I probably wouldn't
have a good time.
873
00:34:58,357 --> 00:34:59,488
Oh, no, sh-she didn't ditch me.
874
00:34:59,532 --> 00:35:00,794
No, she's just
helping your dad.
875
00:35:00,837 --> 00:35:03,101
Yeah, she's very helpful.
876
00:35:04,580 --> 00:35:07,279
So, how long have you
and Harper been roommates?
877
00:35:07,322 --> 00:35:09,542
I moved in like six months ago.
878
00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:11,152
You moved in to her place?
879
00:35:11,196 --> 00:35:12,240
Mm-hmm.
880
00:35:12,284 --> 00:35:14,112
Isn't it a one-bedroom?
881
00:35:14,155 --> 00:35:15,809
Technically, yes.
882
00:35:15,852 --> 00:35:17,202
Yeah, well,
it was a one-bedroom,
883
00:35:17,245 --> 00:35:20,074
and-and now that we have
converted the pantry
884
00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:22,859
i-into my bedroom,
it's a two-bedroom.
885
00:35:22,903 --> 00:35:25,079
Um, it's really spacious
in there, and it's...
886
00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:26,907
I don't want to have
this conversation anymore.
887
00:35:26,950 --> 00:35:28,648
No problem.
888
00:35:29,997 --> 00:35:31,999
Being mayor is no small task.
889
00:35:32,042 --> 00:35:34,349
However, it's a task
I am not only up for
890
00:35:34,393 --> 00:35:35,568
but eager to take on.
891
00:35:35,611 --> 00:35:37,178
I'm gonna stop you right there.
892
00:35:37,222 --> 00:35:39,137
I have a perfect record.
893
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:40,529
And do you know why?
894
00:35:40,573 --> 00:35:42,314
Because I do my homework.
895
00:35:42,357 --> 00:35:44,316
Last election,
I almost backed Dave Grady.
896
00:35:44,359 --> 00:35:46,579
Dave Grady? Didn't his son...
897
00:35:46,622 --> 00:35:48,450
Get arrested
for exotic animal smuggling?
898
00:35:48,494 --> 00:35:49,582
Yes.
899
00:35:49,625 --> 00:35:51,366
I'm telling you this
900
00:35:51,410 --> 00:35:53,934
because I'm not just
looking at you.
901
00:35:53,977 --> 00:35:55,240
This is a family affair.
902
00:35:55,283 --> 00:35:57,329
Well, I can assure you,
903
00:35:57,372 --> 00:36:01,028
this family has
nothing to hide.
904
00:36:03,857 --> 00:36:06,251
[band playing upbeat tune]
905
00:36:11,778 --> 00:36:13,388
-Hey.
-Hey. Hey.
906
00:36:13,432 --> 00:36:15,216
Hi. Can I have a sip
of your drink?
907
00:36:15,260 --> 00:36:17,262
-Yeah, of course.
-Thank you.
908
00:36:18,524 --> 00:36:19,786
-Mm.
-You okay?
909
00:36:19,829 --> 00:36:21,091
Mm-hmm.
910
00:36:21,135 --> 00:36:23,093
I just needed
a bit of a breather.
911
00:36:23,137 --> 00:36:24,399
Thank you.
912
00:36:24,443 --> 00:36:25,618
KELLY:
Harper?
913
00:36:25,661 --> 00:36:26,923
-HARPER: Mm!
-[squealing]
914
00:36:26,967 --> 00:36:28,403
ASHLEY:
Hi!
915
00:36:28,447 --> 00:36:29,752
[laughing]:
Hi.
916
00:36:29,796 --> 00:36:31,450
You look incredible.
917
00:36:31,493 --> 00:36:33,539
-As always.
-Oh, my God.
918
00:36:33,582 --> 00:36:35,584
[exhales sharply]
You, too. God, guys.
919
00:36:35,628 --> 00:36:38,587
Oh, um, this is
my roommate Abby.
920
00:36:38,631 --> 00:36:40,589
And this is Kelly and Ashley.
921
00:36:40,633 --> 00:36:42,156
-Oh, lovely to meet you.
-Yes.
922
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,114
-Nice to meet you, too.
-CONNOR: Hey, you guys.
923
00:36:44,158 --> 00:36:45,725
Wow.
924
00:36:45,768 --> 00:36:46,987
God, sorry, just seeing
the three of you
925
00:36:47,030 --> 00:36:48,118
standing next to each other
926
00:36:48,162 --> 00:36:49,468
takes me right back
to high school.
927
00:36:49,511 --> 00:36:51,774
Minus the bad cafeteria food.
928
00:36:51,818 --> 00:36:54,429
[laughing loudly]
929
00:36:55,648 --> 00:36:57,476
You're so funny.
930
00:36:57,519 --> 00:36:59,304
Uh, Harper, can I talk
to you for a second?
931
00:36:59,347 --> 00:37:01,262
HARPER:
Um, yeah.
932
00:37:01,306 --> 00:37:03,569
I'll just be a sec.
933
00:37:03,612 --> 00:37:05,962
Am I crazy, or did you have
absolutely no idea
934
00:37:06,006 --> 00:37:07,442
I was coming
to dinner last night?
935
00:37:07,486 --> 00:37:09,357
-It was a surprise.
-Yeah.
936
00:37:09,401 --> 00:37:10,967
Yeah, I thought so.
937
00:37:11,011 --> 00:37:13,753
-Um, sorry about that.
-It's not you.
938
00:37:13,796 --> 00:37:16,146
But, actually,
I'd love to do... that again.
939
00:37:16,190 --> 00:37:18,932
Like, hang out again,
if you got time.
940
00:37:18,975 --> 00:37:22,370
That sounds so nice, and, um...
941
00:37:22,414 --> 00:37:25,852
and I just don't know, uh,
'cause it's so busy and...
942
00:37:25,895 --> 00:37:26,983
-Yeah. Totally got it.
-Mm-hmm.
943
00:37:27,027 --> 00:37:28,158
-No pressure.
-Yeah.
944
00:37:28,202 --> 00:37:30,291
But that being said,
if you, you know,
945
00:37:30,335 --> 00:37:32,772
and-and your roommate want
to get out and hang out,
946
00:37:32,815 --> 00:37:34,252
-that'd be great.
-Abby. Yeah.
947
00:37:34,295 --> 00:37:35,862
Abby. Yeah. Absolutely.
948
00:37:35,905 --> 00:37:38,647
Hey, if she doesn't
sleep with him, then I will.
949
00:37:38,691 --> 00:37:41,650
[giggling]
950
00:37:41,694 --> 00:37:44,087
I'm just kidding.
I would never.
951
00:37:44,131 --> 00:37:46,481
He's definitely still into her.
952
00:37:46,525 --> 00:37:48,091
I know.
953
00:37:48,135 --> 00:37:50,180
[cell phone vibrating]
954
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:53,314
[sighs]:
I should...
955
00:37:53,358 --> 00:37:55,316
take this.
956
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,622
Hello?
957
00:37:56,665 --> 00:37:57,927
JOHN: Did you know
that you're standing
958
00:37:57,971 --> 00:37:59,712
in a country club
that didn't let women have
959
00:37:59,755 --> 00:38:02,062
their own memberships
until the early 2000s?
960
00:38:02,105 --> 00:38:03,716
How do you know that?
961
00:38:03,759 --> 00:38:05,674
Um, I might be tracking you,
962
00:38:05,718 --> 00:38:07,676
but it's for your own safety,
clearly.
963
00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:08,677
What-what do you want?
964
00:38:08,721 --> 00:38:10,244
I want you to break out
965
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:11,419
-of that closet.
-[camera clicks]
966
00:38:11,463 --> 00:38:12,942
I am not in the closet.
967
00:38:12,986 --> 00:38:14,509
I told you, Harper's gonna
tell her parents everything
968
00:38:14,553 --> 00:38:15,467
right after the holidays.
969
00:38:15,510 --> 00:38:17,382
You deserve to be with someone
970
00:38:17,425 --> 00:38:20,907
who shouts their love for you
from the rooftops.
971
00:38:20,950 --> 00:38:22,343
-That's very sweet.
-[toilet flushes over phone]
972
00:38:22,387 --> 00:38:24,040
So stop being a doormat,
you fool.
973
00:38:24,084 --> 00:38:26,304
Did you need something, or
did you just call to shame me?
974
00:38:26,347 --> 00:38:28,915
I'm not shaming you.
I just think the choice
you're making is dumb
975
00:38:28,958 --> 00:38:30,438
and you should feel bad
about it and yourself.
976
00:38:30,482 --> 00:38:34,529
Also, I am loving these fish.
977
00:38:34,573 --> 00:38:37,880
If I wanted to buy
the exact same one for myself,
978
00:38:37,924 --> 00:38:40,579
where... where do you think
I would do that?
979
00:38:40,622 --> 00:38:41,928
What?
980
00:38:41,971 --> 00:38:43,669
You know what,
I think I should google it.
981
00:38:43,712 --> 00:38:44,931
I'm gonna google it. Thanks.
982
00:38:51,851 --> 00:38:53,461
Hey.
983
00:38:53,505 --> 00:38:55,681
Oh, hey. Hey.
984
00:39:00,338 --> 00:39:02,383
-How's it going?
-Great.
985
00:39:02,427 --> 00:39:05,125
I was just taking a break
from diagnosing
986
00:39:05,168 --> 00:39:07,823
everyone's mystery illnesses.
987
00:39:07,867 --> 00:39:09,564
[Abby chuckles]
988
00:39:09,608 --> 00:39:12,132
Hey, I wasn't trying
to eavesdrop or anything.
989
00:39:12,175 --> 00:39:14,264
I was out there
before you came out.
990
00:39:14,308 --> 00:39:17,006
You didn't see me, but, um...
991
00:39:18,443 --> 00:39:20,662
I can relate.
992
00:39:20,706 --> 00:39:22,838
Like, to what?
993
00:39:26,973 --> 00:39:28,148
Nothing.
994
00:39:28,191 --> 00:39:29,279
[clears throat]
995
00:39:29,323 --> 00:39:30,933
Nothing. [inhales deeply]
996
00:39:30,977 --> 00:39:33,196
[sighs]:
Okay. I'm gonna go back inside.
997
00:39:34,546 --> 00:39:37,244
I'm sure my mother's
hairdresser wants to show me
998
00:39:37,287 --> 00:39:38,898
her weird finger again.
999
00:39:38,941 --> 00:39:40,987
-[chuckles]
-So...
1000
00:39:42,031 --> 00:39:43,859
I like your jacket. [sighs]
1001
00:39:44,730 --> 00:39:47,080
Okay. [shivers]
1002
00:39:49,169 --> 00:39:52,390
-[applause, cheering]
-Thank you. Thank you so much.
1003
00:39:52,433 --> 00:39:55,741
Will you all please
join me in welcoming
1004
00:39:55,784 --> 00:39:57,960
my dear, dear friend,
1005
00:39:58,004 --> 00:40:00,354
Councilman Ted Caldwell.
1006
00:40:00,398 --> 00:40:02,138
[cheering]
1007
00:40:03,923 --> 00:40:05,925
TED:
Thank you so much. Thank you.
1008
00:40:05,968 --> 00:40:07,840
Isn't this
the best time of year?
1009
00:40:07,883 --> 00:40:09,319
I mean, really.
1010
00:40:09,363 --> 00:40:11,278
I know we're all having
a great time tonight,
1011
00:40:11,321 --> 00:40:13,106
so I will be brief.
1012
00:40:13,149 --> 00:40:15,456
I've accomplished a lot
in my life,
1013
00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:18,981
and serving you on the
city council is right up there
1014
00:40:19,025 --> 00:40:22,637
with my most rewarding
life experiences.
1015
00:40:22,681 --> 00:40:24,944
But I'm ready for more.
1016
00:40:24,987 --> 00:40:26,162
[cheering]
1017
00:40:26,206 --> 00:40:29,122
These are turbulent times,
1018
00:40:29,165 --> 00:40:33,169
and the way I can ensure
depravity doesn't seep in
1019
00:40:33,213 --> 00:40:35,781
through the cracks
of our community
1020
00:40:35,824 --> 00:40:39,828
is by making sure
there are no cracks.
1021
00:40:39,872 --> 00:40:41,830
-[cheering]
-No cracks!
1022
00:40:44,137 --> 00:40:48,576
Look, our foundation is built
on family, tradition and faith,
1023
00:40:48,620 --> 00:40:54,060
and that is the only way
we will keep safe and strong.
1024
00:40:54,103 --> 00:40:56,105
I have loved being
your city councilman,
1025
00:40:56,149 --> 00:40:58,325
and I can't wait
to be your mayor.
1026
00:40:58,368 --> 00:40:59,544
Merry Christmas.
1027
00:40:59,587 --> 00:41:01,371
[cheering]
1028
00:41:01,415 --> 00:41:03,461
[camera clicking rapidly]
1029
00:41:05,550 --> 00:41:07,595
♪
1030
00:41:13,993 --> 00:41:15,211
[cell phone chimes]
1031
00:41:25,004 --> 00:41:27,180
[camera clicks]
1032
00:41:32,751 --> 00:41:34,274
[phone chimes]
1033
00:41:40,759 --> 00:41:42,804
[chuckles softly]
1034
00:41:43,979 --> 00:41:46,895
TED [on video]: ...the way
I can ensure depravity
1035
00:41:46,939 --> 00:41:50,159
doesn't seep in through
the cracks of our community
1036
00:41:50,203 --> 00:41:53,336
is by making sure
there are no cracks.
1037
00:41:53,380 --> 00:41:56,252
[cheering on video]
1038
00:41:56,296 --> 00:41:57,819
[distant door closes]
1039
00:41:57,863 --> 00:41:59,560
[on video]:
Look, our foundation is built
1040
00:41:59,604 --> 00:42:03,042
on family, tradition and faith,
1041
00:42:03,085 --> 00:42:08,090
and that is the only way
we will keep safe and strong.
1042
00:42:08,134 --> 00:42:10,179
♪
1043
00:42:11,616 --> 00:42:13,661
[TV playing indistinctly]
1044
00:42:15,794 --> 00:42:17,578
MAN [on TV]:
Um, for the chicken breast,
1045
00:42:17,622 --> 00:42:20,276
we were looking at
a quarter cup of honey,
1046
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:21,800
and remember to use
local honey...
1047
00:42:21,843 --> 00:42:24,324
-[footsteps]
-[TV continues indistinctly]
1048
00:42:33,638 --> 00:42:34,943
[sighs]
1049
00:42:34,987 --> 00:42:36,510
[footsteps passing]
1050
00:42:39,121 --> 00:42:40,688
[phone chimes]
1051
00:42:43,909 --> 00:42:45,084
[gasps]
1052
00:42:46,999 --> 00:42:48,914
-Whoa.
-[whirring]
1053
00:42:48,957 --> 00:42:50,045
Shit. Shit!
1054
00:42:50,916 --> 00:42:52,395
Come on. Come on.
1055
00:42:52,439 --> 00:42:54,484
Nope. Shut up, shut up. Oh, no.
1056
00:42:56,661 --> 00:42:58,837
[clattering]
1057
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,360
-ABBY: Oh!
-[screams]
1058
00:43:00,403 --> 00:43:04,016
Abby, what are you doing
in the closet?
1059
00:43:04,059 --> 00:43:07,323
I... Well, I guess
I must have been sleepwalking.
1060
00:43:07,367 --> 00:43:09,325
Oh, that is very dangerous.
1061
00:43:09,369 --> 00:43:11,327
I once took too many Ambien,
1062
00:43:11,371 --> 00:43:13,460
and I bought
a racehorse online.
1063
00:43:13,503 --> 00:43:14,809
-ABBY: Oh.
-TIPPER: Okay.
1064
00:43:14,853 --> 00:43:16,332
You need to go
back downstairs, Abby.
1065
00:43:16,376 --> 00:43:17,899
-Okay.
-Carefully.
1066
00:43:17,943 --> 00:43:19,335
-Yeah...
-Are you all right to do that?
1067
00:43:19,379 --> 00:43:21,076
Yeah. Oh, gosh, my phone, too.
1068
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,644
-God, I-I was in such a daze.
-I'll get all this.
1069
00:43:23,688 --> 00:43:24,645
-Okay.
-Go on.
1070
00:43:24,689 --> 00:43:25,646
Um, I-I was...
1071
00:43:25,690 --> 00:43:27,213
You want me to come with you?
1072
00:43:27,256 --> 00:43:28,344
No, thank you.
1073
00:43:28,388 --> 00:43:29,432
I'm sorry about this.
1074
00:43:31,086 --> 00:43:32,435
-[gasps]
-[Harper growls playfully]
1075
00:43:32,479 --> 00:43:34,916
Oh, my God. [laughs]
1076
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,223
How did you get down here?
1077
00:43:37,266 --> 00:43:39,181
When I saw that mess upstairs,
1078
00:43:39,225 --> 00:43:41,662
I knew my mom would be busy
for the next two hours.
1079
00:43:41,706 --> 00:43:43,359
What do you want to do
for two hours?
1080
00:43:43,403 --> 00:43:45,448
-I don't know.
-Hmm.
1081
00:43:53,413 --> 00:43:55,458
♪
1082
00:44:05,294 --> 00:44:06,948
Mm.
1083
00:44:08,428 --> 00:44:10,082
[footsteps in hall]
1084
00:44:10,125 --> 00:44:12,127
-[knocking]
-[both gasp]
1085
00:44:12,171 --> 00:44:14,042
-TIPPER: Abby?
-Shit.
1086
00:44:14,086 --> 00:44:15,522
Fuck.
1087
00:44:15,565 --> 00:44:16,958
TIPPER:
Abby, honey, are you okay?
1088
00:44:17,002 --> 00:44:18,917
Uh-huh. I'm-I'm-I'm okay.
1089
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:20,832
[whispers]:
I can't believe I fell asleep.
1090
00:44:20,875 --> 00:44:23,661
TIPPER: Um, I think there's
something against the door.
1091
00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:25,619
Um, I'm just
moving it right now.
1092
00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:26,794
Sorry. It's heavy.
1093
00:44:27,926 --> 00:44:28,927
Morning.
1094
00:44:28,970 --> 00:44:30,885
Why did you block the door?
1095
00:44:30,929 --> 00:44:33,409
I-I didn't want
to sleepwalk again.
1096
00:44:34,976 --> 00:44:37,065
Well, sorry to barge in.
1097
00:44:37,109 --> 00:44:39,198
The twins usually
stay down here.
1098
00:44:39,241 --> 00:44:41,113
I'm just getting them
Jane's old Game Boy.
1099
00:44:41,156 --> 00:44:42,244
Morning, kids.
1100
00:44:42,288 --> 00:44:44,420
-Morning.
-Abby.
1101
00:44:44,464 --> 00:44:45,508
Honey, I'm headed
to the office,
1102
00:44:45,552 --> 00:44:46,727
but I wanted to let you know
1103
00:44:46,771 --> 00:44:48,555
I have invited Harry Levin
and her husband
1104
00:44:48,598 --> 00:44:50,339
to our Christmas Eve party.
1105
00:44:51,427 --> 00:44:52,428
What?
1106
00:44:52,472 --> 00:44:54,126
TED:
You heard what she said.
1107
00:44:54,169 --> 00:44:56,432
-[Tipper sighs]
-It's not just about me.
1108
00:44:56,476 --> 00:44:58,260
It's about our whole family.
1109
00:44:58,304 --> 00:45:00,828
And what is a better
representation of our family
1110
00:45:00,872 --> 00:45:04,136
than your Christmas Eve party?
1111
00:45:05,224 --> 00:45:07,008
It is legendary.
1112
00:45:08,575 --> 00:45:09,750
-Mwah!
-[Tipper sighs]
1113
00:45:09,794 --> 00:45:11,709
-Have a good day.
-You know I will.
1114
00:45:11,752 --> 00:45:12,927
TIPPER:
Can't even believe that.
1115
00:45:12,971 --> 00:45:15,103
That is two more people
on the guest list.
1116
00:45:15,147 --> 00:45:17,802
I basically have to reimagine
the entire party.
1117
00:45:17,845 --> 00:45:19,542
[sighs] Man.
1118
00:45:19,586 --> 00:45:21,109
Found it.
1119
00:45:21,153 --> 00:45:23,764
Okay, come on, you two.
1120
00:45:23,808 --> 00:45:25,723
Let's look at it.
1121
00:45:28,029 --> 00:45:29,770
[whispers]:
That was very, very close.
1122
00:45:29,814 --> 00:45:31,250
We shouldn't have done that.
1123
00:45:31,293 --> 00:45:33,600
Harper, we've been up
since 5:45 a.m....
1124
00:45:33,643 --> 00:45:35,733
-This is the last batch.
-...and the twins already made
1125
00:45:35,776 --> 00:45:37,865
-their own batch of cookies
and decorated them.
-No.
1126
00:45:37,909 --> 00:45:40,738
SLOANE: We're making these
for the party.
1127
00:45:40,781 --> 00:45:41,956
Okay, I'm off.
1128
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:43,479
What? Where are you going?
1129
00:45:43,523 --> 00:45:45,307
Uh, Levi has a connection
with a local potpourri vendor.
1130
00:45:45,351 --> 00:45:46,526
He's gonna introduce us.
1131
00:45:46,569 --> 00:45:48,180
-Great. Right.
-Yeah.
1132
00:45:48,223 --> 00:45:49,181
Bye, babe.
1133
00:45:49,224 --> 00:45:50,399
TIPPER:
It just runs everywhere.
1134
00:45:50,443 --> 00:45:51,444
-Bye, kids.
-That's right. That's right.
1135
00:45:51,487 --> 00:45:52,619
KIDS:
Bye, Daddy.
1136
00:45:52,662 --> 00:45:53,794
Jane. Oh, my God.
1137
00:45:53,838 --> 00:45:55,317
-I'm just gonna do a button.
-No, no.
1138
00:45:55,361 --> 00:45:56,797
-You can't decorate these.
-But they have buttons.
1139
00:45:56,841 --> 00:45:58,538
Can you not? I'm trying
to have an even number.
1140
00:45:58,581 --> 00:46:00,148
Mommy, when are we
gonna see Santa?
1141
00:46:00,192 --> 00:46:01,889
Honey, I don't know
if we're gonna have time
1142
00:46:01,933 --> 00:46:03,499
to see him this year.
Jane, can you not?
1143
00:46:03,543 --> 00:46:05,327
Oh, take them
to see Santa Claus.
1144
00:46:05,371 --> 00:46:07,634
This could be the last year
that they see him.
1145
00:46:07,677 --> 00:46:08,896
Why? Is Santa dying?
1146
00:46:08,940 --> 00:46:10,637
-No.
-Are we dying?
1147
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:12,857
No. Fine, I will take you.
1148
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:15,033
I still need to get
a white elephant gift anyway.
1149
00:46:15,076 --> 00:46:17,426
-Did you guys get yours?
-Yes.
1150
00:46:17,470 --> 00:46:20,038
[chuckles]: Yeah, I'm making
something very special.
1151
00:46:20,081 --> 00:46:21,430
Uh, what is white elephant?
1152
00:46:21,474 --> 00:46:23,345
Oh, it's a gift exchange game
we do every year
1153
00:46:23,389 --> 00:46:25,826
-at our Christmas Eve party.
-Oh.
1154
00:46:25,870 --> 00:46:27,785
And I guess
you don't know what it is
1155
00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:30,265
because Harper forgot
to tell you about it.
1156
00:46:30,309 --> 00:46:32,224
-I'm sorry.
-That's okay.
1157
00:46:32,267 --> 00:46:33,616
I-I can run out
and grab one today.
1158
00:46:33,660 --> 00:46:35,836
Great.
So, you girls can tag along
1159
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,446
with Sloane to the mall.
1160
00:46:37,490 --> 00:46:40,014
Oh. Actually, I told Dad
that I'd go to his office
1161
00:46:40,058 --> 00:46:42,234
and help him write his speech
for Carolyn's dinner tonight.
1162
00:46:42,277 --> 00:46:44,149
Yeah, I wish I could go,
1163
00:46:44,192 --> 00:46:45,933
but, um, I have to put
the finishing touches
1164
00:46:45,977 --> 00:46:48,153
on my Christmas gifts.
1165
00:46:48,196 --> 00:46:50,024
Guess it's just gonna be
you and me. Fun.
1166
00:46:50,068 --> 00:46:51,983
TIPPER: Well, just make sure
you're all back here by 4:00.
1167
00:46:52,026 --> 00:46:53,375
That's okay?
1168
00:46:53,419 --> 00:46:56,378
We are going to get
that Christmas photo tonight
1169
00:46:56,422 --> 00:46:57,684
before we leave for dinner.
1170
00:46:57,727 --> 00:46:58,859
-Yes.
-Yes.
1171
00:46:58,903 --> 00:47:00,905
[holiday music playing
over speakers]
1172
00:47:09,478 --> 00:47:11,089
Oh. Hey.
1173
00:47:11,132 --> 00:47:13,831
Hey.
Can you watch them for a bit?
1174
00:47:13,874 --> 00:47:15,920
I have to run an errand.
Um, Santa promised them
1175
00:47:15,963 --> 00:47:19,140
[hushed]: the complete works
of Sylvia Plath, so...
1176
00:47:19,184 --> 00:47:20,446
Is that all right?
1177
00:47:20,489 --> 00:47:21,664
Yeah.
1178
00:47:21,708 --> 00:47:23,057
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1179
00:47:23,101 --> 00:47:24,885
Okay. Thank you.
1180
00:47:24,929 --> 00:47:26,887
Be good, you two.
1181
00:47:26,931 --> 00:47:29,890
♪
1182
00:47:29,934 --> 00:47:32,414
Hi, guys. Do you, um...
1183
00:47:32,458 --> 00:47:33,981
want to come over...
1184
00:47:34,025 --> 00:47:35,374
Want to... Come on.
1185
00:47:35,417 --> 00:47:37,767
♪
1186
00:47:37,811 --> 00:47:39,421
[chuckles nervously]
1187
00:47:41,771 --> 00:47:44,513
Why was Aunt Harper hiding
in your room this morning?
1188
00:47:45,645 --> 00:47:48,082
Uh, we were playing a game.
1189
00:47:48,126 --> 00:47:49,779
Like hide-and-seek?
1190
00:47:49,823 --> 00:47:51,433
Yeah, like hide-and-seek.
1191
00:47:51,477 --> 00:47:52,957
MAGNUS:
We love that game.
1192
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,002
What do you guys think about
this white elephant game?
1193
00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:56,874
What gift should I get?
Can you help me?
1194
00:47:56,917 --> 00:47:58,571
How about this?
1195
00:47:58,614 --> 00:48:00,225
That is nice.
1196
00:48:00,268 --> 00:48:03,576
I was thinking maybe
something everyone might like.
1197
00:48:03,619 --> 00:48:05,404
Like, um...
1198
00:48:05,447 --> 00:48:08,059
I don't know, a scarf
might be good, actually.
1199
00:48:08,102 --> 00:48:10,496
Someone might want
to have that.
1200
00:48:10,539 --> 00:48:12,890
Seems Christmassy.
1201
00:48:14,587 --> 00:48:16,371
Oh.
1202
00:48:16,415 --> 00:48:18,199
Hey, come on. Um...
1203
00:48:18,243 --> 00:48:20,158
Hey, Carolyn.
1204
00:48:20,201 --> 00:48:21,681
Hey, it's good to see you.
1205
00:48:23,030 --> 00:48:25,032
I'm Abby. We met last night.
1206
00:48:25,076 --> 00:48:26,991
I'm Harper Caldwell's friend.
1207
00:48:27,034 --> 00:48:29,558
[gasps] Oh. Oh, yes.
1208
00:48:29,602 --> 00:48:31,821
[chuckling]:
Yes, of course.
1209
00:48:31,865 --> 00:48:33,040
Mm.
1210
00:48:34,607 --> 00:48:37,088
It's lovely seeing you.
1211
00:48:38,263 --> 00:48:40,134
Hey, I'm-I'm really looking
forward to dinner tonight.
1212
00:48:41,266 --> 00:48:43,398
-Okay.
-Okay.
1213
00:48:46,358 --> 00:48:48,099
Have-have a nice day.
I'll see you later.
1214
00:48:48,142 --> 00:48:50,144
-[alarm blaring]
-SECURITY GUARD: Hey! Ma'am!
1215
00:48:50,188 --> 00:48:51,580
-Oh, ma'am!
-We're gonna stop you
right there.
1216
00:48:51,624 --> 00:48:53,669
-Ma'am, put the bag
on the floor.
-Okay.
1217
00:48:53,713 --> 00:48:54,975
-Miss, put it down.
-Ma'am!
1218
00:48:55,019 --> 00:48:56,716
Put the bag on the floor
and slide it to me.
1219
00:48:56,759 --> 00:48:58,718
-You want to explain that?
-A-As I've said,
1220
00:48:58,761 --> 00:49:01,155
I did not put that in my bag.
There might...
1221
00:49:01,199 --> 00:49:02,983
-Oh...
-Oh, you didn't put it
in your bag,
1222
00:49:03,027 --> 00:49:04,419
but it ended up in your bag,
1223
00:49:04,463 --> 00:49:06,334
so this is probably just
a big misunderstanding.
1224
00:49:06,378 --> 00:49:08,815
Maybe it grew legs and then
it walked into her bag.
1225
00:49:08,858 --> 00:49:10,338
-[stammers]
-Did you check it for
legs, or...
1226
00:49:10,382 --> 00:49:12,079
-I haven't checked it for legs.
-You haven't done that.
1227
00:49:12,123 --> 00:49:13,602
I'm not suggesting
that it grew legs.
1228
00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:15,561
It's not looking good, sweetie.
1229
00:49:15,604 --> 00:49:16,779
Pittsburgh, huh?
1230
00:49:16,823 --> 00:49:18,042
Yeah.
1231
00:49:18,085 --> 00:49:19,782
What are you doing
down this way?
1232
00:49:19,826 --> 00:49:21,175
You pulling a job?
1233
00:49:21,219 --> 00:49:22,524
Jacking a roost?
1234
00:49:22,568 --> 00:49:24,091
-What was that?
-CRYSTAL: Yeah, hocking crank
1235
00:49:24,135 --> 00:49:25,440
and breaking bad?
1236
00:49:25,484 --> 00:49:26,964
I'm not doing
any of those things.
1237
00:49:27,007 --> 00:49:28,226
-ED: Smash and grab?
-CRYSTAL: Wow.
1238
00:49:28,269 --> 00:49:29,531
I-I didn't take this necklace.
1239
00:49:29,575 --> 00:49:31,490
I'm sure that you could
review some footage.
1240
00:49:31,533 --> 00:49:32,578
Aren't there cameras in malls?
1241
00:49:32,621 --> 00:49:34,493
Are you telling me
how to do my job?
1242
00:49:34,536 --> 00:49:35,842
-You're gonna regret it.
-No.
1243
00:49:35,885 --> 00:49:37,365
-I'm not doing any...
-Why don't you go ahead
1244
00:49:37,409 --> 00:49:38,801
-and do my job, hotshot?
-Good freaking luck.
1245
00:49:38,845 --> 00:49:40,194
-You're in charge now.
-Yeah.
1246
00:49:40,238 --> 00:49:41,761
-Can you believe...
-I'm gonna get her to sing.
1247
00:49:41,804 --> 00:49:43,458
-Go ahead. Go ahead.
-I'm gonna make
this little birdie
1248
00:49:43,502 --> 00:49:45,721
go tweet, tweet, tweet,
becau...
1249
00:49:47,245 --> 00:49:48,898
-Eugene.
-[Eugene stammers]
1250
00:49:48,942 --> 00:49:50,291
-Goddamn it. We're...
-What are you...
1251
00:49:50,335 --> 00:49:51,684
I heard there were
Cruffins in here.
1252
00:49:51,727 --> 00:49:52,815
No.
1253
00:49:52,859 --> 00:49:54,208
There aren't any Cruffins.
1254
00:49:54,252 --> 00:49:56,254
EUGENE: There's not,
or there were? Were there?
1255
00:49:56,297 --> 00:49:58,212
-CRYSTAL: No, we stopped
keeping food in here.
1256
00:49:58,256 --> 00:49:59,605
HARPER:
Dad, Abby would never do this.
1257
00:49:59,648 --> 00:50:00,823
SLOANE: Go get ready
quick, quick, quick,
1258
00:50:00,867 --> 00:50:02,042
because we're late now.
1259
00:50:02,086 --> 00:50:03,130
TED: This isn't
a conversation, Harper.
1260
00:50:03,174 --> 00:50:04,131
HARPER:
Please, Dad, just be...
1261
00:50:04,175 --> 00:50:05,654
TIPPER [hushed]:
Shh! Quiet.
1262
00:50:05,698 --> 00:50:07,265
-HARPER: Okay. I'm sorry.
-TIPPER: Oh, I know.
1263
00:50:07,308 --> 00:50:09,093
HARPER:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1264
00:50:14,359 --> 00:50:16,361
I didn't do it.
1265
00:50:16,404 --> 00:50:17,710
Baby, I know.
1266
00:50:17,753 --> 00:50:20,104
But Carolyn thinks
it would just be better
1267
00:50:20,147 --> 00:50:21,496
if you weren't at the dinner.
1268
00:50:21,540 --> 00:50:23,585
Look, it's gonna be
so boring anyways.
1269
00:50:23,629 --> 00:50:25,196
You're lucky
you don't have to go.
1270
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:27,328
Come here.
1271
00:50:29,069 --> 00:50:31,289
[sighs]
1272
00:50:31,332 --> 00:50:34,988
Can we hang out tonight
after the dinner?
1273
00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:37,425
My friends want to go out,
and-and we can go with them
1274
00:50:37,469 --> 00:50:39,906
or we can not go with them,
but...
1275
00:50:39,949 --> 00:50:42,474
I just think we...
we need a break
1276
00:50:42,517 --> 00:50:44,606
from the family.
1277
00:50:44,650 --> 00:50:45,955
-Yeah, s...
-[knocking]
1278
00:50:47,653 --> 00:50:49,742
Harper, we have got to go.
1279
00:50:49,785 --> 00:50:51,222
Come on, we're gonna be late.
1280
00:50:51,265 --> 00:50:52,919
Okay. [sighs]
1281
00:50:52,962 --> 00:50:54,268
-I'll see you later?
-Mm-hmm.
1282
00:50:54,312 --> 00:50:55,443
Okay.
1283
00:50:55,487 --> 00:50:56,836
I'm sorry.
1284
00:50:56,879 --> 00:50:59,491
TIPPER: We weren't able
to get the photo again.
1285
00:50:59,534 --> 00:51:01,058
[door closes]
1286
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,365
♪ Blame it on Christmas
1287
00:51:05,888 --> 00:51:08,978
♪ Why I'm out of control
1288
00:51:10,284 --> 00:51:14,158
♪ Oh, give me forgiveness
1289
00:51:14,201 --> 00:51:17,770
♪ For what's about to unfold
1290
00:51:19,511 --> 00:51:23,950
♪ 'Cause I just can't
keep my cool ♪
1291
00:51:23,993 --> 00:51:28,259
♪ While I'm tiding
all of this yule ♪
1292
00:51:28,302 --> 00:51:32,089
♪ Blame it on,
blame it on Christmas ♪
1293
00:51:32,132 --> 00:51:34,656
♪ Ooh, why I'm acting a fool.
1294
00:51:36,484 --> 00:51:37,616
Hey.
1295
00:51:37,659 --> 00:51:39,618
We meet again.
1296
00:51:39,661 --> 00:51:41,185
[chuckles]:
Yeah.
1297
00:51:41,228 --> 00:51:42,882
No Harper?
1298
00:51:42,925 --> 00:51:45,667
No, she's, um, with her family.
1299
00:51:45,711 --> 00:51:47,626
I-I'm gonna meet up
with her in a bit.
1300
00:51:47,669 --> 00:51:49,149
What'd you get?
1301
00:51:49,193 --> 00:51:51,456
Um...
1302
00:51:51,499 --> 00:51:52,892
Oh, I can't tell you
1303
00:51:52,935 --> 00:51:55,851
because it's for
the white elephant party.
1304
00:51:55,895 --> 00:51:57,810
Ah, you're going to that, too?
1305
00:51:57,853 --> 00:51:59,203
Oh, yeah.
1306
00:51:59,246 --> 00:52:01,074
Yeah, my family goes
every year.
1307
00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:02,902
It's, um...
1308
00:52:02,945 --> 00:52:05,034
God, it's the best party
of the year.
1309
00:52:05,078 --> 00:52:07,254
[laughs]
1310
00:52:07,298 --> 00:52:09,865
You know, I'm-I'm glad
I ran into you,
1311
00:52:09,909 --> 00:52:11,084
'cause I'm having
this thing where
1312
00:52:11,128 --> 00:52:12,999
if I stick my finger in my eye,
1313
00:52:13,042 --> 00:52:14,783
it, like, really hurts.
1314
00:52:14,827 --> 00:52:17,090
Yeah, I mean,
that's a classic case
1315
00:52:17,134 --> 00:52:20,615
of, um, contact stupiditis.
1316
00:52:20,659 --> 00:52:22,922
Um, because it's
a stupid thing to do.
1317
00:52:22,965 --> 00:52:24,706
-[laughs] Yep.
-Once you get to
1318
00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:26,578
the finger-poking stage,
you're-you're pretty much dead.
1319
00:52:26,621 --> 00:52:27,970
[sighs]
1320
00:52:28,014 --> 00:52:31,278
I'd really like to drink
some alcohol.
1321
00:52:31,322 --> 00:52:33,062
Do you know
where I could do that?
1322
00:52:34,716 --> 00:52:36,370
Yes.
1323
00:52:36,414 --> 00:52:38,024
♪
1324
00:52:38,067 --> 00:52:40,244
♪ What is Christmas?
1325
00:52:40,287 --> 00:52:42,942
-♪ Christmas is for caring
-[scattered laughter]
1326
00:52:42,985 --> 00:52:44,770
♪ What is Christmas?
1327
00:52:44,813 --> 00:52:47,512
♪ Christmas is for sharing
1328
00:52:47,555 --> 00:52:49,166
♪ What is Christmas?
1329
00:52:49,209 --> 00:52:52,081
♪ Can't you guess?
1330
00:52:52,125 --> 00:52:55,215
♪ Christmas is for ha...
1331
00:52:55,259 --> 00:52:56,651
♪ Penis
1332
00:52:56,695 --> 00:52:58,392
-RILEY: Yes, you are.
-I wish.
1333
00:52:58,436 --> 00:53:00,220
-Just tell me.
-I wish I had a story, like...
1334
00:53:00,264 --> 00:53:01,874
-Did you steal it?
-No.
1335
00:53:01,917 --> 00:53:03,441
And I still don't have
1336
00:53:03,484 --> 00:53:05,530
a white elephant gift,
on top of it all.
1337
00:53:05,573 --> 00:53:07,619
-You've got to get one.
-I'm trying.
1338
00:53:07,662 --> 00:53:09,229
I will help you with this.
1339
00:53:09,273 --> 00:53:11,579
I know a lot of places
that aren't malls.
1340
00:53:11,623 --> 00:53:12,885
That would be great.
1341
00:53:12,928 --> 00:53:15,235
♪ And when does
Christmas come? ♪
1342
00:53:15,279 --> 00:53:18,934
♪ And when
does Christmas leave? ♪
1343
00:53:18,978 --> 00:53:23,504
-[laughter]
-♪ It comes but never goes...
1344
00:53:23,548 --> 00:53:26,681
What did you mean last night
when you said you could relate?
1345
00:53:26,725 --> 00:53:29,902
That was just a comment
based on an assumption
1346
00:53:29,945 --> 00:53:32,861
that I was making
about you and Harper.
1347
00:53:35,777 --> 00:53:38,519
I think it's probably
an accurate assumption.
1348
00:53:40,826 --> 00:53:42,915
You don't have to talk to me
about this stuff.
1349
00:53:42,958 --> 00:53:44,308
I know it's weird, like...
1350
00:53:44,351 --> 00:53:46,223
So, what has she told you?
1351
00:53:46,266 --> 00:53:48,355
That you dated in high school.
1352
00:53:48,399 --> 00:53:50,618
That you were
her first girlfriend.
1353
00:53:50,662 --> 00:53:52,707
That's about it.
1354
00:53:54,056 --> 00:53:55,710
-Is there more?
-Mm-hmm.
1355
00:53:56,842 --> 00:53:57,756
Yeah, a little.
1356
00:54:00,759 --> 00:54:02,804
I mean...
1357
00:54:05,503 --> 00:54:07,461
Yeah.
1358
00:54:07,505 --> 00:54:09,898
Yeah, growing up,
we were totally inseparable.
1359
00:54:09,942 --> 00:54:11,639
We were best friends.
1360
00:54:11,683 --> 00:54:14,903
And then, freshman year,
we became more than friends.
1361
00:54:16,078 --> 00:54:18,124
We started dating.
1362
00:54:19,865 --> 00:54:23,216
But nobody knew that,
obviously.
1363
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:26,263
And we would, like,
leave these little love letters
1364
00:54:26,306 --> 00:54:28,047
in-in each other's lockers.
1365
00:54:28,090 --> 00:54:29,570
And one day,
one of Harper's friends
1366
00:54:29,614 --> 00:54:31,224
found one of the letters,
1367
00:54:31,268 --> 00:54:34,488
and she asked Harper
wh-what it was about,
1368
00:54:34,532 --> 00:54:39,276
and Harper basically just said
that I am gay
1369
00:54:39,319 --> 00:54:41,147
and that I wouldn't
leave her alone.
1370
00:54:41,190 --> 00:54:42,714
And then within a couple days,
1371
00:54:42,757 --> 00:54:44,063
like, everybody in school
found out,
1372
00:54:44,106 --> 00:54:47,153
and everybody was
so awful to me.
1373
00:54:48,241 --> 00:54:50,243
I'm sorry, that's... I'm sorry.
1374
00:54:51,375 --> 00:54:54,334
Yeah, so the thing that
I can relate to is just
1375
00:54:54,378 --> 00:54:56,989
being in love
with somebody that is...
1376
00:54:58,295 --> 00:55:00,862
...too afraid to show the world
who they are.
1377
00:55:07,826 --> 00:55:09,480
But that was a long time ago.
1378
00:55:10,568 --> 00:55:12,091
Yeah.
1379
00:55:12,134 --> 00:55:14,093
-[music ends]
-[cheering, applause]
1380
00:55:14,136 --> 00:55:16,095
Thank you!
1381
00:55:16,138 --> 00:55:18,837
All right, that's enough.
1382
00:55:19,925 --> 00:55:21,405
And with this next song,
1383
00:55:21,448 --> 00:55:23,668
we're gonna need
a little help from you.
1384
00:55:23,711 --> 00:55:26,279
We're gonna ask you a...
1385
00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:27,889
-Question.
-...question.
1386
00:55:27,933 --> 00:55:30,152
And you are going to...
1387
00:55:30,196 --> 00:55:31,676
-Give us the answer.
-...answer.
1388
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:33,852
-Yeah.
-[laughs] It's simple.
1389
00:55:33,895 --> 00:55:35,375
Here we go.
1390
00:55:35,419 --> 00:55:36,942
[applause]
1391
00:55:36,985 --> 00:55:39,945
♪ Who's got a beard
that's long and white? ♪
1392
00:55:39,988 --> 00:55:42,382
-We're gonna sing. Ready?
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
1393
00:55:42,426 --> 00:55:45,037
♪ Who comes around
on a special night? ♪
1394
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,909
♪ Santa comes around
on a special night ♪
1395
00:55:47,953 --> 00:55:50,390
-♪ Special night
-♪ Special night
1396
00:55:50,434 --> 00:55:53,393
-♪ Beard that's white
-♪ Beard that's white
1397
00:55:53,437 --> 00:55:54,786
-MISS L'TEAU: Everybody!
-Whoa.
1398
00:55:54,829 --> 00:55:58,442
♪ Must be Santa,
must be Santa ♪
1399
00:55:58,485 --> 00:56:00,966
♪ Must be Santa
1400
00:56:01,009 --> 00:56:03,969
♪ Santa Claus
1401
00:56:04,012 --> 00:56:05,710
-No. No, what? Oh, my God, no.
-What?
1402
00:56:05,753 --> 00:56:07,712
Oh, we're gonna get
a little more intimate now.
1403
00:56:07,755 --> 00:56:09,061
RILEY:
Yes!
1404
00:56:09,104 --> 00:56:11,411
♪ Who's got boots
and a suit of red? ♪
1405
00:56:11,455 --> 00:56:13,152
-[laughs]
-Oh... [laughs]
1406
00:56:13,195 --> 00:56:15,807
Come on, you want
to hear her sing, right?
1407
00:56:15,850 --> 00:56:19,463
-Yeah. Yeah, we want to
hear her sing.
1408
00:56:19,506 --> 00:56:21,769
-♪ Who's got boots
and a suit of red? ♪
-I'll help you.
1409
00:56:21,813 --> 00:56:24,468
♪ Santa's got boots
and a suit of red ♪
1410
00:56:24,511 --> 00:56:27,079
-Yeah, perfect!
-♪ Who's got a long cap
on his head? ♪
1411
00:56:27,122 --> 00:56:29,821
♪ Santa's got a long cap
on his head ♪
1412
00:56:29,864 --> 00:56:32,563
-♪ On his head
-♪ On his head
1413
00:56:32,606 --> 00:56:35,479
-♪ Suit of red
-♪ Suit of red
1414
00:56:35,522 --> 00:56:41,049
♪ Must be Santa,
must be Santa ♪
1415
00:56:41,093 --> 00:56:43,443
♪ Must be Santa
1416
00:56:43,487 --> 00:56:46,925
♪ Santa Claus
1417
00:56:46,968 --> 00:56:49,144
♪ Must be Santa
1418
00:56:49,188 --> 00:56:51,930
-♪ Must be Santa
-[cell phone chimes]
1419
00:56:51,973 --> 00:56:53,845
♪ Must be Santa...
1420
00:56:53,888 --> 00:56:56,587
Um, I should...
I should close out.
1421
00:56:56,630 --> 00:56:58,676
It's... Harper texted me.
1422
00:56:58,719 --> 00:57:01,026
-Oh.
-Yes.
1423
00:57:01,069 --> 00:57:03,289
♪ Santa's got a beard
that's long... ♪
1424
00:57:03,332 --> 00:57:06,031
-[dance music playing]
-[lively chatter]
1425
00:57:06,074 --> 00:57:07,380
ASHLEY:
...of the square.
1426
00:57:07,424 --> 00:57:09,034
The guy at the top
of the square.
1427
00:57:09,077 --> 00:57:10,209
That's the business model.
1428
00:57:10,252 --> 00:57:11,819
It's brilliant.
1429
00:57:11,863 --> 00:57:13,865
Hi.
1430
00:57:13,908 --> 00:57:15,388
-Oh, Abby's here.
-Shots, shots, shots.
1431
00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:17,434
-You guys ready?
-How was... how was tonight?
1432
00:57:17,477 --> 00:57:18,957
-Shots!
-It was great. It was good.
1433
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:20,741
All right, I think
I'm gonna grab a beer.
1434
00:57:20,785 --> 00:57:22,308
-No, no, no, no.
-No, Abby, Abby, hey.
1435
00:57:22,351 --> 00:57:23,440
Cannot be at this place sober.
1436
00:57:23,483 --> 00:57:24,615
-It's a... Ready? Cheers.
-Cheers.
1437
00:57:24,658 --> 00:57:25,964
-Eyes, eyes.
-Eyes, eyes.
1438
00:57:26,007 --> 00:57:27,095
Eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes,
1439
00:57:27,139 --> 00:57:28,227
eyes, eyes, eyes,
eyes, eyes, eyes.
1440
00:57:28,270 --> 00:57:29,358
CONNOR:
One, two, three. Go.
1441
00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:32,361
-[music ends]
-Oh!
1442
00:57:32,405 --> 00:57:34,059
-Okay, I need some music.
-Did you have dinner?
1443
00:57:34,102 --> 00:57:35,452
-Come, come, come, come, come.
-ABBY: Yeah.
1444
00:57:35,495 --> 00:57:37,410
Wait.
Okay, I'll come right back.
1445
00:57:39,804 --> 00:57:41,066
[dance music playing]
1446
00:57:41,109 --> 00:57:43,155
Are you having
the most terrible time?
1447
00:57:43,198 --> 00:57:44,286
No.
1448
00:57:44,330 --> 00:57:46,071
No, I'm-I'm just tired.
1449
00:57:46,114 --> 00:57:47,333
-Okay.
-I'm really tired.
1450
00:57:47,376 --> 00:57:49,248
I think I'm gonna go.
1451
00:57:49,291 --> 00:57:50,771
Oh, no.
1452
00:57:50,815 --> 00:57:52,381
Uh...
1453
00:57:52,425 --> 00:57:54,601
[sighs] I kind of want to stay
a little bit longer.
1454
00:57:54,645 --> 00:57:56,603
Is that okay?
1455
00:57:58,997 --> 00:58:00,781
[laughter]
1456
00:58:02,130 --> 00:58:03,958
Yeah, you should...
Yes, of course.
1457
00:58:04,002 --> 00:58:05,220
-Yeah. Yeah, I'm just...
-Yeah?
1458
00:58:05,264 --> 00:58:06,526
-Are you sure?
-Mm.
1459
00:58:06,570 --> 00:58:08,267
Okay.
1460
00:58:08,310 --> 00:58:09,834
And you'll get home okay?
1461
00:58:09,877 --> 00:58:11,444
I won't be out late.
1462
00:58:11,488 --> 00:58:12,750
Okay.
1463
00:58:12,793 --> 00:58:15,535
Text me when you get home.
1464
00:58:15,579 --> 00:58:16,884
CONNOR:
Hey.
1465
00:58:16,928 --> 00:58:18,103
How about you?
1466
00:58:18,146 --> 00:58:19,539
You won't. You won't.
1467
00:58:19,583 --> 00:58:22,107
-She will. You won't. You won't.
-KELLY: You won't.
1468
00:58:47,828 --> 00:58:50,439
[over speakers]:
♪ Hey
1469
00:58:50,483 --> 00:58:52,659
♪ What are we doing?
1470
00:58:52,703 --> 00:58:54,966
[quiet chatter]
1471
00:58:55,009 --> 00:58:56,663
♪ Don't you remem...
1472
00:58:56,707 --> 00:58:58,186
CONNOR:
Well, that was fun.
1473
00:58:58,230 --> 00:58:59,971
Whew. Yeah.
1474
00:59:00,014 --> 00:59:01,973
-[Connor groans]
-[Harper sighs]
1475
00:59:02,016 --> 00:59:04,453
-I'm glad you came out.
-Yeah.
1476
00:59:04,497 --> 00:59:06,630
It's been a minute, you know,
since we've gotten to do this.
1477
00:59:06,673 --> 00:59:09,371
Like, since we...
1478
00:59:10,503 --> 00:59:11,678
Well, you know.
1479
00:59:11,722 --> 00:59:13,811
I've missed you.
1480
00:59:13,854 --> 00:59:15,552
No, it's nice to catch up.
1481
00:59:15,595 --> 00:59:16,988
Yeah.
1482
00:59:17,031 --> 00:59:19,643
[Connor takes deep breath]
1483
00:59:19,686 --> 00:59:21,949
Well, I'm that way.
1484
00:59:21,993 --> 00:59:23,516
-Oh, darn.
-Where are you?
1485
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:24,996
I'm that way. [laughs]
1486
00:59:25,039 --> 00:59:26,475
-Good night.
-Good night.
1487
00:59:26,519 --> 00:59:28,042
-It was great seeing you.
-[grunts]
1488
00:59:28,086 --> 00:59:30,218
-[clears throat]
-[Harper chuckles]
1489
00:59:30,262 --> 00:59:32,046
[sighs]
1490
00:59:32,090 --> 00:59:34,048
Hey, Harper,
was there someone else?
1491
00:59:36,529 --> 00:59:37,835
What do you mean?
1492
00:59:38,923 --> 00:59:40,925
Is that why we broke up?
1493
00:59:42,013 --> 00:59:44,015
No.
1494
00:59:44,058 --> 00:59:46,713
No, I mean, I-I told you
that the long distance
1495
00:59:46,757 --> 00:59:48,628
just got too hard and...
1496
00:59:48,672 --> 00:59:50,064
The distance.
Yeah, I know, I know.
1497
00:59:50,108 --> 00:59:51,544
I know.
1498
00:59:52,545 --> 00:59:54,112
[sighs]
1499
00:59:54,155 --> 00:59:55,940
I don't know. Just...
1500
00:59:55,983 --> 00:59:58,899
kind of always felt like
there was something...
1501
01:00:00,684 --> 01:00:02,250
Kind of felt like
there was something
1502
01:00:02,294 --> 01:00:03,817
you weren't telling me.
1503
01:00:06,690 --> 01:00:08,692
♪
1504
01:00:11,042 --> 01:00:13,087
There wasn't someone else.
1505
01:00:33,717 --> 01:00:35,066
ABBY [whispers]:
Hey.
1506
01:00:37,155 --> 01:00:39,113
What's wrong?
1507
01:00:39,157 --> 01:00:40,462
Just making sure you're okay.
1508
01:00:40,506 --> 01:00:42,073
Why wouldn't I be?
1509
01:00:42,116 --> 01:00:44,684
I don't know, you weren't
answering me, so I was...
1510
01:00:44,728 --> 01:00:47,687
I-I know, but you-you knew
I was out with my friends.
1511
01:00:47,731 --> 01:00:49,080
Yeah, but, I mean,
I didn't know that
1512
01:00:49,123 --> 01:00:50,777
you were gonna be out
till 2:00 in the morning,
1513
01:00:50,821 --> 01:00:51,996
so I'm just checking on you.
1514
01:00:52,039 --> 01:00:54,302
Okay.
1515
01:00:54,346 --> 01:00:56,609
[chuckles]: I'm sorry.
I didn't know I had a curfew.
1516
01:00:56,653 --> 01:00:58,393
What is going on with you?
1517
01:00:58,437 --> 01:01:00,395
Nothing. I...
1518
01:01:00,439 --> 01:01:02,093
Nothing.
1519
01:01:02,136 --> 01:01:05,923
I just don't know why
you're keeping tabs on me.
1520
01:01:05,966 --> 01:01:07,881
-Keeping tabs on you?
-Yeah.
1521
01:01:07,925 --> 01:01:09,491
It just...
1522
01:01:09,535 --> 01:01:11,102
[sighs]
1523
01:01:11,145 --> 01:01:12,712
What?
1524
01:01:12,756 --> 01:01:14,758
It just feels a little...
1525
01:01:14,801 --> 01:01:16,281
suffocating.
1526
01:01:16,324 --> 01:01:17,674
I'm suffocating you?
1527
01:01:17,717 --> 01:01:19,676
Or not, but just...
1528
01:01:19,719 --> 01:01:21,590
Oh, I feel really suffocated
in the closet
1529
01:01:21,634 --> 01:01:23,027
-that you shoved me back into.
-Shh!
1530
01:01:23,070 --> 01:01:24,506
[hushed]:
You agreed to this.
1531
01:01:24,550 --> 01:01:25,725
Yeah, we were practically
already here.
1532
01:01:25,769 --> 01:01:26,944
Can you sh...
1533
01:01:26,987 --> 01:01:28,423
Please be quiet.
1534
01:01:28,467 --> 01:01:30,382
I was gonna... I...
1535
01:01:30,425 --> 01:01:32,166
♪
1536
01:01:32,210 --> 01:01:34,429
If I knew that part
of what I was agreeing to
1537
01:01:34,473 --> 01:01:36,431
was you hanging out with
your ex-boyfriend all night,
1538
01:01:36,475 --> 01:01:39,565
-maybe I wouldn't have.
-[sighs] God, Abby.
1539
01:01:42,046 --> 01:01:45,049
I just... I feel like
we just need some space.
1540
01:01:45,092 --> 01:01:46,441
You need some space?
1541
01:01:48,313 --> 01:01:50,054
Okay.
1542
01:01:51,185 --> 01:01:52,665
Abby.
1543
01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:54,101
-[footsteps stomping]
-Oh.
1544
01:01:54,145 --> 01:01:57,278
She is very heavy-footed.
1545
01:01:57,322 --> 01:02:00,499
Honey, I have a list
of party errands
1546
01:02:00,542 --> 01:02:02,283
that Jane has
volunteered to run,
1547
01:02:02,327 --> 01:02:04,503
but I don't trust her
to do them on her own,
1548
01:02:04,546 --> 01:02:06,940
so I need you to supervise.
1549
01:02:06,984 --> 01:02:08,899
Okay.
1550
01:02:13,251 --> 01:02:15,427
It's a long list.
1551
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,301
HARPER [sighs]:
Okay.
1552
01:02:20,345 --> 01:02:21,650
[Harper groans]
1553
01:02:31,835 --> 01:02:33,575
No, no.
1554
01:02:34,576 --> 01:02:35,882
[phone vibrating]
1555
01:02:38,058 --> 01:02:39,712
Hey.
1556
01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:41,845
Okay, so I might have been
1557
01:02:41,888 --> 01:02:44,195
a little judgmental
when we last spoke.
1558
01:02:44,238 --> 01:02:47,938
You are in an unusual
situation, and as your friend,
1559
01:02:47,981 --> 01:02:50,201
I should have created
a safe space for you to share
1560
01:02:50,244 --> 01:02:52,725
without the threat
of criticism, so...
1561
01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:54,379
I'm sorry.
1562
01:02:54,422 --> 01:02:56,033
I am here.
1563
01:02:56,076 --> 01:02:57,730
No judgment.
1564
01:02:57,774 --> 01:02:59,210
What is going on?
1565
01:02:59,253 --> 01:03:00,820
Well, let's see.
1566
01:03:00,864 --> 01:03:02,909
I was arrested
by mall security yesterday,
1567
01:03:02,953 --> 01:03:05,085
and now Harper's entire family
thinks I'm a criminal.
1568
01:03:05,129 --> 01:03:07,566
And after spending
her entire night, like,
1569
01:03:07,609 --> 01:03:11,439
until 2:00 in the morning,
with her ex-boyfriend Connor,
1570
01:03:11,483 --> 01:03:13,790
she's acting like someone
I barely even recognize.
1571
01:03:13,833 --> 01:03:16,401
And I want to just get out
of here, but it would cost me
1572
01:03:16,444 --> 01:03:18,577
like a thousand dollars
to get a ride, and...
1573
01:03:18,620 --> 01:03:21,145
This is why I avoid Christmas.
1574
01:03:21,188 --> 01:03:22,842
It brings out the worst
in everything.
1575
01:03:22,886 --> 01:03:25,845
I-I know this isn't about me.
I just feel crazy, like...
1576
01:03:25,889 --> 01:03:28,500
Do I... It's...
Do I stick it out for two days?
1577
01:03:28,543 --> 01:03:30,502
It's-it's not that long.
1578
01:03:30,545 --> 01:03:32,678
But I don't know. I...
1579
01:03:33,853 --> 01:03:35,681
What would you do?
1580
01:03:35,724 --> 01:03:36,856
Uh...
1581
01:03:36,900 --> 01:03:38,292
Uh... uh...
1582
01:03:38,336 --> 01:03:39,467
I...
1583
01:03:39,511 --> 01:03:41,600
[quietly]:
Thank you.
1584
01:03:41,643 --> 01:03:44,516
I'm gonna... I'm gonna need
to give this a think.
1585
01:03:44,559 --> 01:03:46,344
I think.
1586
01:03:47,606 --> 01:03:49,434
Hello?
1587
01:03:55,353 --> 01:03:57,398
♪
1588
01:03:59,183 --> 01:04:01,750
[inhales deeply]
1589
01:04:01,794 --> 01:04:03,840
[exhales]
1590
01:04:06,930 --> 01:04:08,932
[exhales sharply]
1591
01:04:11,021 --> 01:04:12,892
[sighs]
1592
01:04:14,372 --> 01:04:15,939
Hey, um...
1593
01:04:15,982 --> 01:04:17,723
Hey, it's Abby.
1594
01:04:17,766 --> 01:04:19,856
Are you... are you doing
anything right now?
1595
01:04:19,899 --> 01:04:22,075
Who's really gonna want
a mini doughnut factory?
1596
01:04:22,119 --> 01:04:23,642
Uh, this family.
1597
01:04:23,685 --> 01:04:25,687
I saw two of their cousins
get in a fistfight
1598
01:04:25,731 --> 01:04:27,515
over a quesadilla maker
at this party once.
1599
01:04:27,559 --> 01:04:29,691
-[cell phone chimes]
-Oh, yikes.
1600
01:04:36,785 --> 01:04:38,135
Everything all right?
1601
01:04:38,178 --> 01:04:39,484
Yeah.
1602
01:04:42,530 --> 01:04:45,403
Thank you so much.
It looks so good.
1603
01:04:45,446 --> 01:04:47,753
I mean, it-it looks good.
1604
01:04:47,796 --> 01:04:50,495
["The First Noel"
plays softly over speakers]
1605
01:04:52,758 --> 01:04:54,151
JANE:
This is all for me.
1606
01:04:54,194 --> 01:04:55,674
[chuckles] It's not. It's not.
1607
01:04:55,717 --> 01:04:56,849
I'm just kidding.
1608
01:04:56,893 --> 01:04:58,546
It's for my...
1609
01:04:58,590 --> 01:05:00,635
And yes, we'll have...
1610
01:05:05,945 --> 01:05:07,991
Ready to go?
1611
01:05:08,034 --> 01:05:10,645
-[gasps]
-[bottles clatter]
1612
01:05:10,689 --> 01:05:12,299
[Harper sighs]
1613
01:05:12,343 --> 01:05:14,388
It's probably okay.
1614
01:05:16,216 --> 01:05:18,001
[grunts]
1615
01:05:18,044 --> 01:05:20,220
[Harper gasps]
1616
01:05:21,918 --> 01:05:23,093
[Harper sighs]
1617
01:05:23,136 --> 01:05:25,138
♪
1618
01:05:29,273 --> 01:05:31,710
Oh, do not put that there.
1619
01:05:31,753 --> 01:05:34,408
What do you think this is,
a barn party?
1620
01:05:34,452 --> 01:05:37,368
Hey, everyone,
please come down!
1621
01:05:37,411 --> 01:05:41,024
We are getting this photo
as soon as Jane gets here.
1622
01:05:41,067 --> 01:05:42,721
Honey, are you sure
this is the best time?
1623
01:05:42,764 --> 01:05:44,201
People will start arriving
any minute.
1624
01:05:44,244 --> 01:05:45,811
It's the only time.
1625
01:05:45,854 --> 01:05:47,117
[door opens]
1626
01:05:48,814 --> 01:05:50,294
-Hi, Abby.
-Hi.
1627
01:05:50,337 --> 01:05:52,818
Oh, where should I put
this white elephant gift?
1628
01:05:52,861 --> 01:05:54,689
I don't know. In the oven?
1629
01:05:54,733 --> 01:05:56,256
Jesus, Abby,
where do you think it goes?
1630
01:05:56,300 --> 01:05:57,823
Under the damn tree.
1631
01:05:57,866 --> 01:05:59,433
[sighs] I'm sorry.
1632
01:05:59,477 --> 01:06:01,087
I'm sorry.
1633
01:06:01,131 --> 01:06:03,437
You probably never even
had a Christmas tree.
1634
01:06:03,481 --> 01:06:05,918
[sighs]
We do this party every year,
1635
01:06:05,962 --> 01:06:09,052
and every year, no matter
how early I start planning,
1636
01:06:09,095 --> 01:06:11,793
I just feel totally unprepared.
1637
01:06:11,837 --> 01:06:15,580
[sighs] And I can't find
my Christmas brooch.
1638
01:06:15,623 --> 01:06:17,103
Have you seen it?
1639
01:06:17,147 --> 01:06:18,713
You can tell me.
1640
01:06:18,757 --> 01:06:20,106
I won't be mad.
1641
01:06:20,150 --> 01:06:21,978
I just want to know it's safe.
1642
01:06:23,501 --> 01:06:24,937
I haven't seen it.
1643
01:06:26,460 --> 01:06:27,853
Okay.
1644
01:06:27,896 --> 01:06:32,292
Well, if it should magically
appear on my dresser,
1645
01:06:32,336 --> 01:06:34,294
there will be
no questions asked.
1646
01:06:34,338 --> 01:06:35,556
-Okay.
-Okay.
1647
01:06:43,608 --> 01:06:46,045
[sighs] Um...
1648
01:06:46,089 --> 01:06:47,307
Hey, Ted.
1649
01:06:48,439 --> 01:06:51,485
I just wanted to mention--
1650
01:06:51,529 --> 01:06:53,052
everything that
happened yesterday
1651
01:06:53,096 --> 01:06:54,793
was a complete
misunderstanding.
1652
01:06:54,836 --> 01:06:56,273
You know,
I would never, ever...
1653
01:06:56,316 --> 01:06:58,579
You-you don't...
you don't have to explain.
1654
01:06:58,623 --> 01:07:00,973
Let's just avoid
any further incidents, yes?
1655
01:07:01,017 --> 01:07:02,714
-Yeah. Yes.
-[door opens]
1656
01:07:02,757 --> 01:07:05,282
-Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas Eve.
-TED: Oh.
1657
01:07:05,325 --> 01:07:07,240
-[chuckles] Hey, Abby.
-Hey.
1658
01:07:07,284 --> 01:07:09,286
Look at what
this little elf brought in.
1659
01:07:09,329 --> 01:07:11,114
-[squeals]
-Wow. What is that?
1660
01:07:11,157 --> 01:07:12,898
This is my masterpiece.
1661
01:07:12,941 --> 01:07:15,335
Whoever picks it
is gonna be very pleased.
1662
01:07:15,379 --> 01:07:16,815
Oh, Jane,
I'm so glad you're here.
1663
01:07:16,858 --> 01:07:18,077
The printer's jammed again.
1664
01:07:18,121 --> 01:07:20,210
Oh, okay. I'm on it.
1665
01:07:32,135 --> 01:07:34,746
-Hey.
-Hey.
1666
01:07:34,789 --> 01:07:36,530
What'd you do today?
1667
01:07:36,574 --> 01:07:39,881
I just went and got
a white elephant gift.
1668
01:07:39,925 --> 01:07:41,144
Oh.
1669
01:07:41,187 --> 01:07:42,667
In town?
1670
01:07:42,710 --> 01:07:44,016
Yeah.
1671
01:07:44,060 --> 01:07:45,409
How'd you get there?
1672
01:07:45,452 --> 01:07:46,540
Has Jane arrived yet?
1673
01:07:46,584 --> 01:07:49,326
Yeah, Jane's
in Ted's office with him.
1674
01:07:49,369 --> 01:07:51,154
Jane, Ted, now!
1675
01:07:51,197 --> 01:07:53,852
Nice of you two to join us.
Where are the twins?
1676
01:07:53,895 --> 01:07:56,550
They don't feel like having
their picture taken tonight.
1677
01:07:56,594 --> 01:07:59,162
[Tipper sighs]
1678
01:07:59,205 --> 01:08:01,599
Harper, come with me.
1679
01:08:02,730 --> 01:08:05,081
♪
1680
01:08:07,779 --> 01:08:10,216
It's really a break
from traditional gifting
1681
01:08:10,260 --> 01:08:12,349
and a move into
the extraordinary.
1682
01:08:12,392 --> 01:08:15,047
The vessels are curated
for each individual.
1683
01:08:15,091 --> 01:08:17,658
-We'd be happy to
mindfully assemble...
-TED: Uh, S-Sloane
1684
01:08:17,702 --> 01:08:19,573
was on track to make partner
at her firm
1685
01:08:19,617 --> 01:08:21,358
before she left
to start a family.
1686
01:08:21,401 --> 01:08:22,533
She's our super mom,
1687
01:08:22,576 --> 01:08:25,971
Harper is our powerhouse,
and, uh, Jane...
1688
01:08:26,014 --> 01:08:27,886
i-is the only reason
1689
01:08:27,929 --> 01:08:29,670
the Internet ever works
in this house.
1690
01:08:29,714 --> 01:08:31,150
-[laughing]
-JANE: Aw.
1691
01:08:31,194 --> 01:08:32,978
I have a way with routers.
1692
01:08:34,893 --> 01:08:36,590
ERIC:
Excuse me, all.
1693
01:08:36,634 --> 01:08:38,766
Uh, the twins have prepared
a little song for you.
1694
01:08:38,810 --> 01:08:40,072
HARPER:
Oh.
1695
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:42,509
[piano playing "Silent Night"]
1696
01:08:45,208 --> 01:08:48,385
♪ Silent night
1697
01:08:48,428 --> 01:08:51,257
♪ Holy night
1698
01:08:51,301 --> 01:08:53,303
♪ All is calm...
1699
01:08:53,346 --> 01:08:55,435
What are you drinking?
1700
01:08:55,479 --> 01:08:57,655
Oh, it's a spiced... alcohol.
1701
01:08:57,698 --> 01:09:00,048
-Gross. Can I have some?
-Yeah.
1702
01:09:00,092 --> 01:09:03,182
♪ Mother and child...
1703
01:09:03,226 --> 01:09:05,706
-Mm-hmm.
-So, Plort is the leader
of the Shadow Dreamers.
1704
01:09:05,750 --> 01:09:07,882
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
-He's half human, half Quazzle.
1705
01:09:07,926 --> 01:09:10,058
He's got the eyes of a Verg
but the heart of a Zengle.
1706
01:09:10,102 --> 01:09:11,147
The Verg comes from
1707
01:09:11,190 --> 01:09:12,409
his mother's side,
generations back.
1708
01:09:12,452 --> 01:09:14,062
SLOANE: If you want
the spa package vessel,
1709
01:09:14,106 --> 01:09:15,934
-you could do
edible bubble bath.
-Excuse me, Sloane.
1710
01:09:15,977 --> 01:09:17,849
Uh, Harry wants
to meet the twins.
1711
01:09:17,892 --> 01:09:19,198
-I'll find them.
-Okay.
1712
01:09:19,242 --> 01:09:20,591
Excuse me.
1713
01:09:20,634 --> 01:09:23,420
You know? Thing is,
my parents were so attached
1714
01:09:23,463 --> 01:09:25,378
to me believing in Santa Claus
1715
01:09:25,422 --> 01:09:27,859
that even after years go by
1716
01:09:27,902 --> 01:09:29,904
and I stop believing
in Santa Claus,
1717
01:09:29,948 --> 01:09:32,080
and they knew that I stopped
believing in Santa Claus,
1718
01:09:32,124 --> 01:09:34,082
we just kept
that charade going.
1719
01:09:34,126 --> 01:09:35,867
Their investment in it
just made me feel
1720
01:09:35,910 --> 01:09:37,260
so bad for them, you know?
1721
01:09:37,303 --> 01:09:38,826
Mm-hmm.
1722
01:09:39,914 --> 01:09:42,221
Yeah.
1723
01:09:42,265 --> 01:09:44,223
Like, so bad for them that...
1724
01:09:44,267 --> 01:09:47,531
you know, that I eventually
just murdered them.
1725
01:09:47,574 --> 01:09:48,706
-That sounds fun.
-Mm.
1726
01:09:48,749 --> 01:09:50,229
Okay.
1727
01:09:51,274 --> 01:09:52,840
What is happening?
1728
01:09:52,884 --> 01:09:54,277
CONNOR:
Hey, you guys.
1729
01:09:54,320 --> 01:09:56,017
HARPER:
Connor, you made it.
1730
01:09:56,061 --> 01:09:57,758
-JANE: Hi. Merry Christmas. Hi.
-Hey, guys. Merry Christmas.
1731
01:09:57,802 --> 01:09:59,586
-Good to see you. Hi.
-[Abby sighs]
1732
01:09:59,630 --> 01:10:02,067
-CONNOR: Merry Christmas.
-I don't know.
1733
01:10:04,069 --> 01:10:05,810
Yesterday,
I'd never felt closer
1734
01:10:05,853 --> 01:10:08,160
to another person
in my entire life, and now I...
1735
01:10:08,204 --> 01:10:10,858
I don't know her.
1736
01:10:10,902 --> 01:10:14,297
And I thought she loved me
and was happy, but I...
1737
01:10:14,340 --> 01:10:15,602
I-I see her here,
1738
01:10:15,646 --> 01:10:18,301
and she's so terrified
of what everyone thinks,
1739
01:10:18,344 --> 01:10:20,651
and it's just making me wonder
who the real Harper is.
1740
01:10:20,694 --> 01:10:22,696
You know?
1741
01:10:22,740 --> 01:10:24,742
Well, maybe they both are.
1742
01:10:28,093 --> 01:10:30,051
I was gonna ask her
to marry me tomorrow.
1743
01:10:37,015 --> 01:10:39,974
Um, I'm gonna get you
a real drink.
1744
01:10:40,018 --> 01:10:41,759
Okay?
1745
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:46,416
[whispers]:
Abby.
1746
01:10:46,459 --> 01:10:48,244
Abby! [clears throat]
1747
01:10:48,287 --> 01:10:50,289
Sorry. What?
1748
01:10:50,333 --> 01:10:51,682
Um...
1749
01:10:53,684 --> 01:10:54,902
How are you here?
1750
01:10:54,946 --> 01:10:56,295
When are you gonna get this?
1751
01:10:56,339 --> 01:10:58,079
I have been tracking you.
1752
01:10:58,123 --> 01:10:59,385
Mm, mm, mm, mm.
[clears throat]
1753
01:10:59,429 --> 01:11:00,647
Hello.
1754
01:11:00,691 --> 01:11:01,648
Hi.
1755
01:11:01,692 --> 01:11:02,693
I'm Tipper.
1756
01:11:02,736 --> 01:11:04,260
-This is my home.
-Oh.
1757
01:11:04,303 --> 01:11:06,044
Are you the ex-boyfriend?
1758
01:11:09,743 --> 01:11:11,876
[clears throat] Y-Yes.
1759
01:11:11,919 --> 01:11:13,399
I am John,
1760
01:11:13,443 --> 01:11:16,184
Abby's heterosexual
ex-boyfriend,
1761
01:11:16,228 --> 01:11:19,231
and I have come
to get her back.
1762
01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:20,798
Mm. I see.
1763
01:11:20,841 --> 01:11:24,584
Well, it would've been nice
to have known you were coming,
1764
01:11:24,628 --> 01:11:28,109
but since you are here, enjoy.
1765
01:11:28,153 --> 01:11:30,198
Thank you so much.
1766
01:11:31,591 --> 01:11:33,898
Okay, I nailed that,
and she is fabulous.
1767
01:11:33,941 --> 01:11:35,203
What are you doing?
1768
01:11:35,247 --> 01:11:37,902
That phone call earlier
was a cry for help.
1769
01:11:37,945 --> 01:11:40,426
I'm here to rescue you.
Please get your things.
1770
01:11:40,470 --> 01:11:42,472
[sighs]
1771
01:11:45,126 --> 01:11:46,302
Is that the ex-boyfriend?
1772
01:11:46,345 --> 01:11:47,694
[indistinct conversation]
1773
01:11:47,738 --> 01:11:49,217
[gasps] Oh, my God.
1774
01:11:50,349 --> 01:11:52,351
I mean, I guess
he's handsome. I...
1775
01:11:52,395 --> 01:11:54,440
Can we please go?
1776
01:11:56,442 --> 01:11:58,488
♪
1777
01:11:59,489 --> 01:12:01,012
Harper.
1778
01:12:01,055 --> 01:12:02,448
It's over.
1779
01:12:02,492 --> 01:12:04,102
I'm done.
1780
01:12:10,151 --> 01:12:12,197
I'm just gonna...
1781
01:12:13,285 --> 01:12:15,809
Everybody,
please take your seats.
1782
01:12:15,853 --> 01:12:18,334
We're ready to begin
white elephant.
1783
01:12:20,466 --> 01:12:21,902
Abby. Hey.
1784
01:12:21,946 --> 01:12:23,251
Can we just talk for a second?
1785
01:12:23,295 --> 01:12:25,036
No. I got to go. I-I can't...
1786
01:12:25,079 --> 01:12:26,603
I can't do this
for you anymore.
1787
01:12:26,646 --> 01:12:28,387
But, uh, merry Christmas.
1788
01:12:28,431 --> 01:12:31,825
Enjoy your family,
and enjoy Connor.
1789
01:12:31,869 --> 01:12:34,959
What? What? No, I don't...
I don't want him.
1790
01:12:35,002 --> 01:12:36,526
I don't want Connor.
1791
01:12:36,569 --> 01:12:37,701
I want you.
1792
01:12:37,744 --> 01:12:38,876
Then what was that?
1793
01:12:38,919 --> 01:12:40,530
I don't know.
1794
01:12:40,573 --> 01:12:43,402
Why are you huddled
in a corner with Riley?
1795
01:12:43,446 --> 01:12:45,709
None of this has anything
to do with Riley.
1796
01:12:45,752 --> 01:12:48,146
This is all happening
because of you, Harper.
1797
01:12:48,189 --> 01:12:50,104
You not telling
your parents about us
1798
01:12:50,148 --> 01:12:51,758
is a choice that you made.
1799
01:12:51,802 --> 01:12:53,717
-It is not that simple.
-Do you know how painful
1800
01:12:53,760 --> 01:12:58,199
it's been to watch the person
that I love choose to hide me?
1801
01:12:58,243 --> 01:13:00,680
I am not hiding you.
I am hiding me.
1802
01:13:01,725 --> 01:13:03,553
Okay?
1803
01:13:03,596 --> 01:13:06,294
Our entire life,
we have been expected
1804
01:13:06,338 --> 01:13:10,690
to be these perfect,
golden children.
1805
01:13:11,822 --> 01:13:13,563
I mean, love in our house
1806
01:13:13,606 --> 01:13:15,391
wasn't something
we just got for free.
1807
01:13:15,434 --> 01:13:16,957
It is something
that we competed for,
1808
01:13:17,001 --> 01:13:19,351
and if we veered
off their course, we lost it.
1809
01:13:20,874 --> 01:13:23,094
I-I know it's messed up, okay?
1810
01:13:23,137 --> 01:13:24,748
I get it.
1811
01:13:24,791 --> 01:13:26,445
But they're my parents,
1812
01:13:26,489 --> 01:13:28,926
and I am scared that if
I tell them who I really am,
1813
01:13:28,969 --> 01:13:31,102
I will lose them.
1814
01:13:31,145 --> 01:13:34,714
And I know, if I don't
tell them, I will lose you.
1815
01:13:36,803 --> 01:13:38,849
I don't want to lose you.
1816
01:13:41,068 --> 01:13:42,374
Hey, come here. Come here.
1817
01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:44,115
-No, I don't want to lose you.
-No, no.
1818
01:13:44,158 --> 01:13:46,073
Look at me. Come here.
Look at me. It's okay.
1819
01:13:46,117 --> 01:13:48,249
-I don't...
-Hey, stop.
1820
01:13:49,860 --> 01:13:52,253
-I don't want to lose you.
-You're not.
1821
01:13:57,215 --> 01:13:59,652
SLOANE:
Matilda and Magnus...
1822
01:14:03,177 --> 01:14:05,049
TIPPER: If you want
a present... [laughs]
1823
01:14:05,092 --> 01:14:07,051
you better have a number.
1824
01:14:07,094 --> 01:14:08,444
[clears throat] 'Sup?
1825
01:14:08,487 --> 01:14:09,793
'Sup?
1826
01:14:09,836 --> 01:14:11,359
TIPPER:
Anybody else?
1827
01:14:11,403 --> 01:14:12,622
[chuckles]
1828
01:14:12,665 --> 01:14:14,754
You pump?
1829
01:14:15,799 --> 01:14:18,366
-I'm sorry?
-Weights.
1830
01:14:18,410 --> 01:14:20,281
-Oh.
-Yeah.
1831
01:14:21,413 --> 01:14:23,284
Yeah.
1832
01:14:23,328 --> 01:14:25,765
-You?
-Yeah. Yeah.
1833
01:14:26,897 --> 01:14:28,942
-What do you bench?
-[sighs]
1834
01:14:29,943 --> 01:14:31,902
Thousand. Thou-Thousand, plus.
1835
01:14:31,945 --> 01:14:33,947
TIPPER: All right.
Everybody have your numbers?
1836
01:14:33,991 --> 01:14:35,558
-SLOANE: Kids?
-Sloane, Sloane, Sloane!
1837
01:14:35,601 --> 01:14:37,211
-Hmm? Yeah?
-Can we just talk for a sec?
1838
01:14:37,255 --> 01:14:39,213
Oh, what's there to talk about?
You and Abby are in
1839
01:14:39,257 --> 01:14:40,998
a romantic relationship,
and you've been lying
1840
01:14:41,041 --> 01:14:42,739
to the family about it
for God knows how long.
1841
01:14:42,782 --> 01:14:44,305
Does that sound
about right, or...
1842
01:14:44,349 --> 01:14:48,048
Just, uh, please don't tell
Mom and Dad yet.
1843
01:14:48,092 --> 01:14:50,355
-[chuckles softly]
-Please, Sloane.
1844
01:14:50,398 --> 01:14:52,662
I'm telling them
after the holidays.
1845
01:14:59,364 --> 01:15:01,279
[chuckles]
1846
01:15:01,322 --> 01:15:02,585
Just rip it.
1847
01:15:02,628 --> 01:15:04,456
Please promise me
you won't say anything.
1848
01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:06,937
Now is just very bad timing,
1849
01:15:06,980 --> 01:15:09,026
and I'm telling them everything
after the holidays anyways.
1850
01:15:09,069 --> 01:15:10,549
Honestly, I feel sorry for you.
1851
01:15:10,593 --> 01:15:12,290
Mom and Dad are gonna be
so heartbroken
1852
01:15:12,333 --> 01:15:14,205
-when they find out
you've been lying to them.
-[clattering]
1853
01:15:14,248 --> 01:15:16,381
-Sloane, if you...
-[gasps] Wait. Kids?
1854
01:15:16,424 --> 01:15:18,731
-Found you!
-[gasping]
1855
01:15:18,775 --> 01:15:19,950
HARPER:
Oh.
1856
01:15:19,993 --> 01:15:21,125
Are you kidding me?
1857
01:15:21,168 --> 01:15:23,475
No one's supposed to know yet.
1858
01:15:23,519 --> 01:15:25,216
We had an agreement.
1859
01:15:25,259 --> 01:15:26,696
I'm sorry.
1860
01:15:26,739 --> 01:15:29,481
I guess I'm not
the only one with a secret.
1861
01:15:31,352 --> 01:15:32,919
[Sloane screams]
1862
01:15:32,963 --> 01:15:34,355
-Wow.
-Yeah.
1863
01:15:34,399 --> 01:15:36,227
Yeah, that is...
that's-that's good mass.
1864
01:15:36,270 --> 01:15:37,837
-That is solid.
-Yeah. Thanks, man.
1865
01:15:37,881 --> 01:15:40,100
Oh, my God.
They all look so nice.
1866
01:15:40,144 --> 01:15:41,928
-Just choose, Jane.
-[chuckles]
1867
01:15:41,972 --> 01:15:43,713
Eeny, meeny, mi...
1868
01:15:43,756 --> 01:15:45,279
[laughs] I'm just kidding.
1869
01:15:45,323 --> 01:15:46,280
[grunting]
1870
01:15:46,324 --> 01:15:47,760
You have no idea what goes on
1871
01:15:47,804 --> 01:15:49,588
in other people's families,
so you need to just
1872
01:15:49,632 --> 01:15:50,763
keep your mouth shut!
1873
01:15:50,807 --> 01:15:53,244
You keep your mouth shut,
psycho!
1874
01:15:53,287 --> 01:15:55,159
-I should run. Yeah.
-Yeah.
1875
01:15:57,248 --> 01:15:58,945
Levi. [clears throat]
We should go.
1876
01:15:58,989 --> 01:16:01,034
JANE: Huh.
I wonder what this one is.
1877
01:16:02,514 --> 01:16:05,082
-Abby, get the Santa.
-[strained grunt]
1878
01:16:05,125 --> 01:16:06,910
-I mean...
-You stay out of this, Sappho.
1879
01:16:06,953 --> 01:16:07,954
I would.
1880
01:16:07,998 --> 01:16:09,652
[grunting]
1881
01:16:09,695 --> 01:16:11,958
I don't know what this is.
1882
01:16:12,002 --> 01:16:14,265
-It's big.
-[laughter]
1883
01:16:14,308 --> 01:16:15,788
-[grunting, screaming]
-Oh!
1884
01:16:18,356 --> 01:16:20,053
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
-[gasping]
1885
01:16:20,097 --> 01:16:21,620
Oh, gosh.
1886
01:16:21,664 --> 01:16:23,709
Here, help me out here.
1887
01:16:25,189 --> 01:16:27,321
What-what-what...
wh-what is this?
1888
01:16:27,365 --> 01:16:29,628
It's a painting of Main Street.
1889
01:16:29,672 --> 01:16:30,586
I made it.
1890
01:16:30,629 --> 01:16:32,152
I love that.
1891
01:16:32,196 --> 01:16:33,893
[clearing throat]
1892
01:16:33,937 --> 01:16:35,721
♪
1893
01:16:35,765 --> 01:16:37,549
No! No, no, no!
1894
01:16:37,593 --> 01:16:39,943
[screams] I'll kill you!
1895
01:16:39,986 --> 01:16:40,987
-[guests murmuring]
-I'll kill you!
1896
01:16:41,031 --> 01:16:42,510
-What are you doing?
-Girls!
1897
01:16:42,554 --> 01:16:44,730
What is going on?
1898
01:16:44,774 --> 01:16:46,210
Yeah, what is going on?
1899
01:16:46,253 --> 01:16:48,255
Harper, do you want
to tell them, or should I?
1900
01:16:48,299 --> 01:16:49,735
-Don't, Sloane!
-Why?
1901
01:16:49,779 --> 01:16:50,910
It's not good timing?
1902
01:16:50,954 --> 01:16:51,998
-[grunts]
-[guests gasp]
1903
01:16:52,042 --> 01:16:53,652
Girls, stop that this instant!
1904
01:16:53,696 --> 01:16:55,306
Come on, guys. Just hug it out.
1905
01:16:55,349 --> 01:16:56,481
BOTH:
Shut up, Jane!
1906
01:16:56,524 --> 01:16:58,178
Don't do this, Sloane.
1907
01:16:58,222 --> 01:17:00,659
All this because you're scared
to not be the favorite.
1908
01:17:00,703 --> 01:17:01,660
Pathetic.
1909
01:17:01,704 --> 01:17:02,835
Sloane, you're making a scene!
1910
01:17:02,879 --> 01:17:03,880
I am?
1911
01:17:03,923 --> 01:17:06,404
You think she's so innocent?
1912
01:17:07,492 --> 01:17:10,451
All of this is happening
because Harper is...
1913
01:17:10,495 --> 01:17:12,584
[guests gasp, scream]
1914
01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:13,629
[panting]
1915
01:17:15,195 --> 01:17:17,284
Harper is a lesbian.
1916
01:17:17,328 --> 01:17:19,243
Abby's her girlfriend.
1917
01:17:31,647 --> 01:17:32,778
She is lying.
1918
01:17:34,824 --> 01:17:36,086
I am not a lesbian.
1919
01:17:36,129 --> 01:17:39,959
Sloane is the one
that has this big...
1920
01:17:41,134 --> 01:17:43,354
♪
1921
01:18:07,552 --> 01:18:09,380
-[grunting in frustration]
-TED: No!
1922
01:18:09,423 --> 01:18:11,599
-[Harper screams]
-[guests gasping, shouting]
1923
01:18:11,643 --> 01:18:13,558
-Harper!
-[both screaming]
1924
01:18:13,601 --> 01:18:15,691
-Stop it! Goddamn it, stop it!
-HARRY: Oh, my.
1925
01:18:15,734 --> 01:18:16,779
JANE:
No!
1926
01:18:16,822 --> 01:18:18,781
Enough!
1927
01:18:18,824 --> 01:18:20,130
[both panting]
1928
01:18:20,173 --> 01:18:24,917
I put 100 hours
into that painting, and you...
1929
01:18:24,961 --> 01:18:28,312
you just destroyed it
like it was nothing.
1930
01:18:30,053 --> 01:18:31,750
It was something.
1931
01:18:33,186 --> 01:18:35,667
I am something.
1932
01:18:36,929 --> 01:18:38,452
And guess what.
1933
01:18:38,496 --> 01:18:39,758
I like myself.
1934
01:18:39,802 --> 01:18:44,371
And maybe you all don't
because I'm not fancy.
1935
01:18:45,546 --> 01:18:48,680
But whether you like it or not,
I'm a part of this family,
1936
01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:51,204
and I will not be
left out anymore!
1937
01:18:51,248 --> 01:18:52,162
-[screaming]
-No!
1938
01:18:52,205 --> 01:18:55,165
[guests gasping]
1939
01:18:56,427 --> 01:18:57,733
Stop it, girls!
1940
01:18:57,776 --> 01:18:59,735
-[groaning]
-Stop this right now.
1941
01:18:59,778 --> 01:19:01,432
JANE:
Guys, you keep ripping it more!
1942
01:19:01,475 --> 01:19:03,303
TIPPER: Kids, what are you
doing back there?
1943
01:19:03,347 --> 01:19:06,002
MAGNUS: Playing hide-and-seek
like Abby and Aunt Harper.
1944
01:19:07,351 --> 01:19:09,614
[sighs, sniffles]
1945
01:19:13,183 --> 01:19:15,228
[footsteps approaching]
1946
01:19:19,189 --> 01:19:21,582
[sighs, sniffles]
1947
01:19:22,714 --> 01:19:24,020
JOHN:
Abby?
1948
01:19:24,063 --> 01:19:25,630
[Abby groans]
1949
01:19:29,634 --> 01:19:31,592
Want to go for a walk?
1950
01:19:34,813 --> 01:19:36,554
Okay.
1951
01:19:36,597 --> 01:19:38,686
Come on.
1952
01:19:38,730 --> 01:19:40,558
ABBY:
My parents loved Christmas.
1953
01:19:41,733 --> 01:19:42,995
We would do all the stuff.
1954
01:19:43,039 --> 01:19:45,258
We would decorate and...
1955
01:19:45,302 --> 01:19:47,783
do the tree and watch, like,
every Christmas movie.
1956
01:19:52,309 --> 01:19:54,224
After they died,
I-I couldn't really
1957
01:19:54,267 --> 01:19:56,008
bring myself
to acknowledge Christmas.
1958
01:19:56,052 --> 01:19:57,662
JOHN:
Hmm.
1959
01:19:59,490 --> 01:20:03,102
The holidays were just
a huge reminder of...
1960
01:20:03,146 --> 01:20:05,801
them not being here.
1961
01:20:07,933 --> 01:20:10,196
So I really thought
maybe this year with...
1962
01:20:10,240 --> 01:20:14,810
with Harper and meeting
her family, you know,
1963
01:20:14,853 --> 01:20:16,594
that it would just
feel different.
1964
01:20:22,730 --> 01:20:24,341
[sniffles]
1965
01:20:24,384 --> 01:20:27,431
I don't...
I don't think that she...
1966
01:20:27,474 --> 01:20:29,389
loves me as much
as I thought she did.
1967
01:20:29,433 --> 01:20:31,174
Hey.
1968
01:20:32,262 --> 01:20:34,481
Harper not coming out
to her parents
1969
01:20:34,525 --> 01:20:37,136
has nothing to do with you.
1970
01:20:37,180 --> 01:20:40,139
[trembling]:
How could it not?
1971
01:20:42,185 --> 01:20:44,317
Remind me,
what did your parents say
1972
01:20:44,361 --> 01:20:45,884
when you told them
you were gay?
1973
01:20:47,190 --> 01:20:51,107
Um, that they loved
and supported me.
1974
01:20:52,195 --> 01:20:54,501
That's amazing.
1975
01:20:57,896 --> 01:21:00,203
My dad...
1976
01:21:00,246 --> 01:21:02,031
kicked me out of the house
1977
01:21:02,074 --> 01:21:04,772
and didn't talk to me
for 13 years after I told him.
1978
01:21:06,731 --> 01:21:09,212
Everybody's story is different.
1979
01:21:10,604 --> 01:21:12,824
There's your version
1980
01:21:12,868 --> 01:21:16,959
and my version
and everything in between.
1981
01:21:19,526 --> 01:21:22,790
But the one thing that all
of those stories have in common
1982
01:21:22,834 --> 01:21:27,273
is that moment right before
you say those words,
1983
01:21:27,317 --> 01:21:30,407
when your heart is racing
1984
01:21:30,450 --> 01:21:32,757
and you don't know
what's coming next.
1985
01:21:35,673 --> 01:21:37,588
That moment's
really terrifying.
1986
01:21:39,329 --> 01:21:41,418
And then once you say
those words,
1987
01:21:41,461 --> 01:21:43,811
you can't unsay them.
1988
01:21:43,855 --> 01:21:48,251
A chapter has ended,
and a new one's begun,
1989
01:21:48,294 --> 01:21:52,429
and you have to be
ready for that.
1990
01:21:52,472 --> 01:21:54,735
You can't do it
for anyone else.
1991
01:21:56,563 --> 01:21:59,436
Just because Harper
isn't ready,
1992
01:21:59,479 --> 01:22:01,960
it doesn't mean
she never will be,
1993
01:22:02,004 --> 01:22:03,919
and it doesn't mean
she doesn't love you.
1994
01:22:08,184 --> 01:22:09,707
[sniffles]
1995
01:22:09,750 --> 01:22:13,232
I-I want to be
with someone who is ready.
1996
01:22:13,276 --> 01:22:15,234
Mm.
1997
01:22:27,899 --> 01:22:30,380
You look great in this coat.
1998
01:22:30,423 --> 01:22:32,295
-Merry Christmas. Thank you.
-Thank you.
1999
01:22:32,338 --> 01:22:34,906
[quiet chatter]
2000
01:22:35,994 --> 01:22:37,691
RILEY:
Just wait for me in the car.
2001
01:22:44,263 --> 01:22:45,482
Great party.
2002
01:22:46,570 --> 01:22:48,093
Yeah.
2003
01:22:48,137 --> 01:22:49,225
You okay?
2004
01:22:52,924 --> 01:22:54,708
I'm so sorry.
2005
01:22:56,928 --> 01:22:58,843
[sighs]
2006
01:23:05,719 --> 01:23:07,504
Merry Christmas.
2007
01:23:12,378 --> 01:23:14,163
She's a really good one.
2008
01:23:14,206 --> 01:23:16,078
[chuckles]:
Yeah.
2009
01:23:20,082 --> 01:23:21,257
-Riley.
-Sloane.
2010
01:23:27,480 --> 01:23:29,395
I'm sorry.
2011
01:23:30,570 --> 01:23:32,703
Okay, come on.
Let's get you two to bed.
2012
01:23:34,835 --> 01:23:37,055
Thank you, Ms. Levin,
for coming,
2013
01:23:37,099 --> 01:23:41,277
and again, my apologies
for the spectacle.
2014
01:23:41,320 --> 01:23:43,105
I'll call you.
2015
01:23:50,242 --> 01:23:52,244
What the hell happened tonight?
2016
01:23:52,288 --> 01:23:54,725
Even as children,
you never behaved this badly.
2017
01:23:54,768 --> 01:23:57,684
I expected more from you,
especially you, Harper.
2018
01:23:57,728 --> 01:23:59,251
You know how this world works.
2019
01:23:59,295 --> 01:24:00,992
Reputation is everything,
2020
01:24:01,036 --> 01:24:04,082
and tonight
you jeopardized mine.
2021
01:24:04,126 --> 01:24:06,998
Jane, I know you-you just
wanted to be included.
2022
01:24:07,042 --> 01:24:08,260
It was really nice.
2023
01:24:08,304 --> 01:24:12,264
Sloane, making up lies
about your sister.
2024
01:24:12,308 --> 01:24:13,613
You're better than that.
2025
01:24:13,657 --> 01:24:16,051
At least you used to be.
2026
01:24:18,705 --> 01:24:20,794
Sorry, I'm-I'm just
getting my stuff.
2027
01:24:20,838 --> 01:24:22,883
Wait, Abby.
2028
01:24:22,927 --> 01:24:24,624
Wait.
2029
01:24:25,756 --> 01:24:26,974
[sighs]
2030
01:24:27,018 --> 01:24:29,064
Sloane wasn't lying.
2031
01:24:30,456 --> 01:24:32,067
I'm gay.
2032
01:24:36,680 --> 01:24:39,552
And I am in love with Abby.
2033
01:24:41,815 --> 01:24:43,774
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you guys sooner,
2034
01:24:43,817 --> 01:24:47,299
but I know how much appearances
and reputation matter to you,
2035
01:24:47,343 --> 01:24:50,607
and me being gay just didn't...
2036
01:24:50,650 --> 01:24:53,000
fit into the plan.
2037
01:24:53,044 --> 01:24:56,961
But I...
2038
01:24:57,004 --> 01:25:00,225
let myself hurt Riley...
2039
01:25:02,009 --> 01:25:04,969
...because I was so scared
that you would find out
2040
01:25:05,012 --> 01:25:07,189
I wasn't
who you wanted me to be.
2041
01:25:08,364 --> 01:25:10,105
And...
2042
01:25:10,148 --> 01:25:12,759
I still regret it.
2043
01:25:14,021 --> 01:25:17,677
I can't do that to Abby...
[chuckles]
2044
01:25:19,766 --> 01:25:21,507
[crying]:
...and throw away...
2045
01:25:22,943 --> 01:25:24,467
...our life together.
2046
01:25:27,470 --> 01:25:32,170
So I am done being scared,
2047
01:25:32,214 --> 01:25:34,781
and I am done keeping secrets.
2048
01:25:36,914 --> 01:25:38,611
I love you.
2049
01:25:54,627 --> 01:25:56,586
♪
2050
01:26:02,853 --> 01:26:05,247
Eric and I are getting
a divorce.
2051
01:26:06,552 --> 01:26:09,468
We separated a few months ago.
2052
01:26:10,817 --> 01:26:12,819
And the truth is
I didn't tell you
2053
01:26:12,863 --> 01:26:15,170
because, without my family,
I'm worthless to you.
2054
01:26:16,736 --> 01:26:22,002
We've spent our entire lives
trying to earn your love,
2055
01:26:22,046 --> 01:26:23,961
and I'm done, too.
2056
01:26:30,707 --> 01:26:34,232
I don't have any secrets,
but I am an ally.
2057
01:26:43,372 --> 01:26:44,764
[distant door closes]
2058
01:26:48,899 --> 01:26:51,380
I'm gonna go.
2059
01:26:51,423 --> 01:26:53,991
Wait. No, no.
2060
01:26:54,034 --> 01:26:56,080
[sighing]
2061
01:26:57,821 --> 01:26:59,779
I did it.
2062
01:27:00,737 --> 01:27:02,478
Mm-hmm.
2063
01:27:04,175 --> 01:27:06,743
I'm sorry.
2064
01:27:06,786 --> 01:27:09,267
Uh, it's just too late.
2065
01:27:09,311 --> 01:27:11,574
♪
2066
01:27:26,328 --> 01:27:28,330
[sobs softly]
2067
01:27:48,611 --> 01:27:50,656
[takes deep breath]
2068
01:27:52,484 --> 01:27:56,575
I have always wanted
to try karate,
2069
01:27:56,619 --> 01:27:58,534
even though I know
it's not elegant.
2070
01:27:58,577 --> 01:28:00,927
I hate flowers.
2071
01:28:00,971 --> 01:28:02,581
I see what you're doing.
2072
01:28:02,625 --> 01:28:07,325
We have been so worried
about seeming perfect.
2073
01:28:08,979 --> 01:28:12,809
But maybe we don't even know
what perfect is.
2074
01:28:13,984 --> 01:28:16,334
We have one daughter
2075
01:28:16,378 --> 01:28:18,510
who has been unhappy
in a marriage
2076
01:28:18,554 --> 01:28:20,207
and felt like
she couldn't tell us,
2077
01:28:20,251 --> 01:28:23,602
and another daughter who...
2078
01:28:23,646 --> 01:28:27,302
[crying]:
just had her heart broken
2079
01:28:27,345 --> 01:28:30,217
because she was afraid
2080
01:28:30,261 --> 01:28:32,829
we wouldn't love her
if she told us the truth.
2081
01:28:32,872 --> 01:28:34,918
And... [sniffles]
2082
01:28:34,961 --> 01:28:37,355
the only reason
that Jane is okay
2083
01:28:37,399 --> 01:28:38,922
is because we gave up on her
2084
01:28:38,965 --> 01:28:40,967
after she wouldn't stop
biting in preschool.
2085
01:28:41,011 --> 01:28:43,013
[takes deep, gasping breath]
2086
01:28:43,056 --> 01:28:45,102
That is...
2087
01:28:45,145 --> 01:28:49,367
very far from perfect,
if you ask me.
2088
01:28:57,027 --> 01:28:58,898
Thanks.
2089
01:28:58,942 --> 01:29:01,074
I'm really sorry.
2090
01:29:01,118 --> 01:29:02,554
I know.
2091
01:29:02,598 --> 01:29:04,382
Me, too.
2092
01:29:05,731 --> 01:29:08,081
And, Jane, I...
2093
01:29:08,125 --> 01:29:11,520
I'm so sorry
about your painting.
2094
01:29:11,563 --> 01:29:13,348
It was really beautiful.
2095
01:29:13,391 --> 01:29:15,524
It was.
2096
01:29:15,567 --> 01:29:17,700
Thanks, guys.
2097
01:29:23,662 --> 01:29:26,491
He just needs a little time.
2098
01:29:31,191 --> 01:29:33,846
JOHN: Okay, listen
to these ingredients:
2099
01:29:33,890 --> 01:29:35,108
maltodextrin,
2100
01:29:35,152 --> 01:29:37,807
autolyzed yeast extract,
2101
01:29:37,850 --> 01:29:40,810
artificial colors--
Red 40 Lake,
2102
01:29:40,853 --> 01:29:44,030
Yellow 6 Lake,
Yellow 6, Yellow 5.
2103
01:29:44,074 --> 01:29:46,772
Because all of the yellows
taste so different.
2104
01:29:46,816 --> 01:29:49,514
You know, I am disgusted
at the poison
2105
01:29:49,558 --> 01:29:52,387
these corporations
try to pass off as food.
2106
01:29:54,214 --> 01:29:56,042
Who's watching the animals?
2107
01:29:56,086 --> 01:29:58,218
My therapist is taking care
of them, but we should have
2108
01:29:58,262 --> 01:30:01,265
a conversation about the fish
at some point.
2109
01:30:02,484 --> 01:30:04,703
What happened to the fish?
2110
01:30:06,749 --> 01:30:08,794
Let's look at gum.
2111
01:30:12,798 --> 01:30:15,061
Okay, so I just want to
preface this by saying that
2112
01:30:15,105 --> 01:30:17,063
nobody would disagree
that fish belong in the ocean.
2113
01:30:17,107 --> 01:30:18,413
-Correct?
-[horn honking]
2114
01:30:21,198 --> 01:30:22,852
Abby.
2115
01:30:22,895 --> 01:30:24,375
H-How did you even...
2116
01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:26,812
I tracked you. John taught me.
2117
01:30:26,856 --> 01:30:28,423
I just want to go home.
2118
01:30:28,466 --> 01:30:30,729
I know. I just...
2119
01:30:30,773 --> 01:30:32,949
Please, let me say this.
2120
01:30:34,167 --> 01:30:36,431
You are my family.
2121
01:30:36,474 --> 01:30:40,260
I mean, you are
the love of my life.
2122
01:30:40,304 --> 01:30:41,914
I was terrible.
2123
01:30:41,958 --> 01:30:44,351
And-and I wish that
I could undo everything,
2124
01:30:44,395 --> 01:30:46,615
but I promise you
I will make it up to you.
2125
01:30:46,658 --> 01:30:50,009
I will spend the rest
of my life making it up to you.
2126
01:30:50,053 --> 01:30:52,838
And I won't hurt you
like this again.
2127
01:30:54,797 --> 01:30:57,495
But please...
2128
01:30:57,539 --> 01:30:59,279
give me another chance.
2129
01:30:59,323 --> 01:31:01,717
I-I want to build
a life with you.
2130
01:31:03,806 --> 01:31:05,764
Please.
2131
01:31:07,723 --> 01:31:09,202
And what about your parents?
I...
2132
01:31:09,246 --> 01:31:11,335
No, no, I...
2133
01:31:11,378 --> 01:31:13,946
I don't care what they think.
2134
01:31:13,990 --> 01:31:16,558
I only care about you.
2135
01:31:17,689 --> 01:31:20,518
If I have you,
that's all I need.
2136
01:31:22,738 --> 01:31:24,479
Be with me.
2137
01:31:30,963 --> 01:31:33,444
♪
2138
01:31:35,272 --> 01:31:36,926
[chuckles]
2139
01:31:52,419 --> 01:31:54,291
♪
2140
01:31:54,334 --> 01:31:55,553
JANE:
So, the Shadow Dreamers
2141
01:31:55,597 --> 01:31:58,034
were compelled
to rise up against Flanks.
2142
01:31:58,077 --> 01:32:00,210
JOHN: Because of the blatant
Thorfian rights violations.
2143
01:32:00,253 --> 01:32:01,559
Exactly.
2144
01:32:01,603 --> 01:32:02,734
Good morning.
2145
01:32:02,778 --> 01:32:03,953
-Hey, morning.
Merry Christmas.
-Hi.
2146
01:32:03,996 --> 01:32:05,911
-Morning.
-HARPER: Hey, Mom.
2147
01:32:05,955 --> 01:32:07,783
-Hi.
-Hi.
2148
01:32:07,826 --> 01:32:09,088
ABBY:
How'd you sleep?
2149
01:32:09,132 --> 01:32:10,829
Did he come down?
2150
01:32:10,873 --> 01:32:12,701
No, not yet.
2151
01:32:12,744 --> 01:32:14,137
SLOANE:
Everyone.
2152
01:32:14,180 --> 01:32:15,355
Go ahead, kids.
2153
01:32:15,399 --> 01:32:18,315
We put the necklace
in Abby's bag.
2154
01:32:18,358 --> 01:32:19,882
MAGNUS:
We're sorry.
2155
01:32:19,925 --> 01:32:21,231
Thank you.
2156
01:32:21,274 --> 01:32:23,363
Can we open our stockings now?
2157
01:32:23,407 --> 01:32:25,017
-Yes.
-Let's go.
2158
01:32:25,061 --> 01:32:27,106
[footsteps approaching]
2159
01:32:33,896 --> 01:32:38,204
Uh, I have sunk
almost all of our savings
2160
01:32:38,248 --> 01:32:40,032
into this campaign.
2161
01:32:40,076 --> 01:32:43,993
Because I thought, if I won,
2162
01:32:44,036 --> 01:32:45,821
you'd all be proud of me.
2163
01:32:45,864 --> 01:32:47,910
We're already proud of you.
2164
01:32:47,953 --> 01:32:50,173
We don't care if you win.
2165
01:32:50,216 --> 01:32:51,435
Yeah.
2166
01:32:51,478 --> 01:32:53,393
And the money doesn't matter.
2167
01:32:53,437 --> 01:32:55,831
When I sell my book,
I'll take care of all of us.
2168
01:32:59,399 --> 01:33:02,098
I love you, girls.
2169
01:33:02,141 --> 01:33:04,883
And I'm sorry
for making you think
2170
01:33:04,927 --> 01:33:07,886
that anything could ever
get in the way of that.
2171
01:33:07,930 --> 01:33:10,585
I want to do better,
2172
01:33:10,628 --> 01:33:13,718
and it will take time,
but all I want for you
2173
01:33:13,762 --> 01:33:15,981
is to find the same joy
and happiness
2174
01:33:16,025 --> 01:33:20,638
that you have given me,
no matter where it comes from.
2175
01:33:20,682 --> 01:33:22,858
[chuckling]
2176
01:33:24,903 --> 01:33:26,513
JANE:
Aw.
2177
01:33:26,557 --> 01:33:29,386
-TED: Mm.
-[women laughing]
2178
01:33:29,429 --> 01:33:32,476
["O Holy Night" instrumental
playing]
2179
01:33:41,267 --> 01:33:42,660
Whoa!
2180
01:33:42,704 --> 01:33:45,315
Smile. Smile.
2181
01:33:45,358 --> 01:33:46,621
-Aw.
-[camera clicks]
2182
01:33:46,664 --> 01:33:48,448
You didn't think
I knew how to do that,
2183
01:33:48,492 --> 01:33:49,667
-did you?
-I... It's impressive.
2184
01:33:49,711 --> 01:33:51,582
♪
2185
01:34:07,206 --> 01:34:08,904
-Hello?
-HARRY: Merry Christmas, Ted.
2186
01:34:08,947 --> 01:34:10,557
-Merry...
-I'll get right to it.
2187
01:34:10,601 --> 01:34:13,082
I like you.
I think you can win, too,
2188
01:34:13,125 --> 01:34:14,997
and not just this election.
2189
01:34:15,040 --> 01:34:17,434
-Thank you, Ms. Levin.
-Hold on. There's an "if."
2190
01:34:17,477 --> 01:34:21,177
Now, I don't know if Sloane's
revelation last night was true,
2191
01:34:21,220 --> 01:34:23,353
but if it is... [sighs]
2192
01:34:23,396 --> 01:34:27,009
and Harper can adopt a
"don't ask, don't tell" policy
2193
01:34:27,052 --> 01:34:29,707
regarding her private life,
2194
01:34:29,751 --> 01:34:31,535
I think we could
be in business.
2195
01:34:31,578 --> 01:34:33,624
What do you say?
2196
01:34:45,592 --> 01:34:47,159
Well?
2197
01:34:47,203 --> 01:34:49,205
It's not gonna work out.
2198
01:34:50,162 --> 01:34:51,381
Oh.
2199
01:34:51,424 --> 01:34:53,035
We'll figure something out.
2200
01:34:57,604 --> 01:35:00,346
TIPPER: Great,
so... Wait, come over here.
2201
01:35:00,390 --> 01:35:01,739
-Where am I?
-You move there.
2202
01:35:01,783 --> 01:35:03,872
-TED: Yeah, okay. Okay.
-TIPPER: Hi, honey. Right.
2203
01:35:03,915 --> 01:35:05,874
Um, Jane,
you get in the middle.
2204
01:35:05,917 --> 01:35:06,918
Yeah.
2205
01:35:08,006 --> 01:35:09,399
-[chuckling]
-Right there.
2206
01:35:09,442 --> 01:35:11,140
John, would you mind?
2207
01:35:11,183 --> 01:35:13,229
Oh, I would be delighted.
2208
01:35:13,272 --> 01:35:15,361
Okay.
2209
01:35:15,405 --> 01:35:17,755
Abby, what are you doing
way over there?
2210
01:35:17,799 --> 01:35:19,322
-Get in here.
-Come on.
2211
01:35:19,365 --> 01:35:21,498
[laughter]
2212
01:35:23,805 --> 01:35:26,111
Okay.
Everyone say, "Christmas."
2213
01:35:26,155 --> 01:35:27,983
-No, don't say that.
-[Abby laughs]
2214
01:35:28,026 --> 01:35:30,594
["Make You Mine This Season"
by Tegan and Sara playing]
2215
01:35:30,637 --> 01:35:31,682
[camera clicks]
2216
01:35:31,726 --> 01:35:35,077
♪ Somebody broke your heart
2217
01:35:35,120 --> 01:35:37,819
♪ Under a Christmas tree...
2218
01:35:37,862 --> 01:35:39,908
JANE:
"Once they cross Corvall Chasm,
2219
01:35:39,951 --> 01:35:42,040
"they will enter
floam territory.
2220
01:35:42,084 --> 01:35:45,478
"The Shadow Dreamers know
they might not all make it out
2221
01:35:45,522 --> 01:35:47,263
"with their Krindoll intact,
2222
01:35:47,306 --> 01:35:51,310
"but the entire Thorfian race
rests on their shoulders.
2223
01:35:51,354 --> 01:35:55,793
"They look to each other
and then into the darkness.
2224
01:35:55,837 --> 01:35:59,275
It is Glank who takes
the first step."
2225
01:35:59,318 --> 01:36:01,668
[cheering]
2226
01:36:07,413 --> 01:36:09,154
Here you go.
Thank you so much for coming.
2227
01:36:09,198 --> 01:36:10,199
MAN:
Thank you.
2228
01:36:10,242 --> 01:36:11,809
-JANE: Bye.
2229
01:36:11,853 --> 01:36:12,941
-Hi.
-We'll meet you there?
2230
01:36:12,984 --> 01:36:13,942
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2231
01:36:13,985 --> 01:36:14,943
-Okay.
-Yeah, you bet.
2232
01:36:14,986 --> 01:36:16,118
-That was awesome.
-Bye.
2233
01:36:16,161 --> 01:36:17,249
-Hi.
-Hi.
2234
01:36:17,293 --> 01:36:18,424
-Oh. Two at a time.
-Oh.
2235
01:36:18,468 --> 01:36:19,599
-Aah!
-It's an onslaught.
2236
01:36:19,643 --> 01:36:20,905
♪
2237
01:36:20,949 --> 01:36:24,126
♪ Make you mine,
make you mine this season ♪
2238
01:36:24,169 --> 01:36:27,651
♪ Bells ring out
on the street ♪
2239
01:36:27,694 --> 01:36:29,740
♪ Snow falling at our feet
2240
01:36:29,784 --> 01:36:31,655
[indistinct chatter]
2241
01:36:31,698 --> 01:36:34,049
♪ Lights glowing in the trees
2242
01:36:35,441 --> 01:36:37,530
♪ Will you dance with me?
2243
01:36:37,574 --> 01:36:41,317
-♪ Have I been good enough
-[Sloane laughing]
2244
01:36:41,360 --> 01:36:45,712
♪ To ask for your love?
2245
01:36:48,585 --> 01:36:52,154
♪ You're the only girl
I've got on my list ♪
2246
01:36:52,197 --> 01:36:55,548
♪ I write your name,
I know it's foolish ♪
2247
01:36:55,592 --> 01:36:59,726
♪ But I chase the feeling
'cause you keep me dreaming ♪
2248
01:36:59,770 --> 01:37:03,774
♪ That I could make you mine,
make you mine this season ♪
2249
01:37:03,818 --> 01:37:06,646
♪ I put a star
on the top of my tree ♪
2250
01:37:06,690 --> 01:37:10,476
♪ I just want to
make you mine ♪
2251
01:37:10,520 --> 01:37:13,871
♪ Its light is gonna lead you
straight to me ♪
2252
01:37:13,915 --> 01:37:17,527
♪ I just want to
make you mine. ♪
2253
01:37:22,227 --> 01:37:24,186
[song fades]
2254
01:41:36,002 --> 01:41:38,048
♪
2255
01:41:41,530 --> 01:41:43,575
[music ends]
148028
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