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1
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,259
It's from Game of Thrones.
2
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:13,095
- What do you think?
- I don't know.
3
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,848
If we're going to start
a fantasy sword collection...
4
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,683
And I've long thought we should.
5
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:21,186
...Is this really the sword to start with?
6
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,980
What did you have in mind?
7
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:27,234
Well, off the top of my head,
I'd have to go with Excalibur.
8
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,987
It gives you the right to rule England.
9
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,781
It would be a replica of a movie prop.
10
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:34,908
Fair enough.
11
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:38,454
It would give you the right
to rule a replica of England.
12
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,833
Well, they don't have an Excalibur here,
so, what do you want to do?
13
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,127
Ugh, tough decision.
14
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,671
There's no weaponry
from Lord of the Rings...
15
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:50,340
...forged in a Chinese sweatshop?
16
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:54,303
Mm-hm, just Bilbo Baggins'
sword over there.
17
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:58,682
Two grown men with a hobbit's dagger,
wouldn't we look silly?
18
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,686
- Okay, let's go for it.
LEONARD: Heh.
19
00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,189
Oh, I see you guys have found
my little treasure.
20
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,983
Yeah, pfft, it's okay, I guess.
21
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:09,818
Okay? It's magnificent.
22
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,487
Buh-buh-buh-buh.
23
00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:15,074
What do you want for it?
24
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,159
Oh, it's hard to
put a price on something...
25
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,828
...that's a copy of something
that was on pay cable.
26
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,332
But for my friends, let's say 250.
27
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,460
- Ooh, that's pretty steep.
- It's a limited edition.
28
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:29,922
They only made 8000 of these
bad boys.
29
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,467
Only 8000.
We're wasting precious time. Buy it.
30
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:37,387
Hang on. Can you do any better?
31
00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:40,432
I'm already giving
you the friends and family discount.
32
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,185
Oh, did you hear that?
The friends and family discount.
33
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,646
We are honored and we will take it.
34
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,065
Slow down. Two hundred.
35
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,818
What are you doing?
250 is already a discounted price.
36
00:01:50,985 --> 00:01:53,904
- Will you shut up?
- Tell you what, I'll go 235.
37
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,322
Nope. Maybe another time.
38
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:59,451
- Okay, 225, my final offer.
- Take it, take it.
39
00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:03,497
- Two hundred.
- Man, you're killing me.
40
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,707
Killing you? I can't breathe.
41
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,044
Two ten and I'm losing money.
42
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,880
Oh, no, we can't let him lose money,
Leonard. I'm so sorry.
43
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,008
Two ten and you throw in
the Iron Man helmet.
44
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,803
Are you crazy? That helmet's
signed by Robert Downey, Jr.
45
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,054
So?
46
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,266
If you're gonna question
the importance of a signature...
47
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:25,310
...on a plastic helmet from a movie
based on a comic book...
48
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,772
...then all of our lives
have no meaning.
49
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:37,739
- Okay, fine. Just the sword, 210.
- Thank you. I can eat meat this week.
50
00:02:40,034 --> 00:02:42,202
See that? I just saved us 40 bucks.
51
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,621
I've long said that what you lack
in academic knowledge...
52
00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:47,166
...you make up for in street smarts.
53
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,209
- You want me to wrap it?
- No, it's okay.
54
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:52,212
I'm gonna stab my friend in the chest.
55
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,299
- Hey, Stuart.
- Ah, hey, Wil.
56
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,843
Hello, Wil Wheaton.
57
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:03,515
- Hi, Sheldon. Nice sword.
- It's part of my sword collection.
58
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,976
- Do you have a sword collection?
- No.
59
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,395
Heh, I'm not surprised.
60
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:11,190
Here's the Batman six twelve...
61
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:13,859
...with the Jim Lee alternate cover
that you wanted.
62
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,528
- Oh, awesome. What do I owe you?
- Forty bucks.
63
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,488
- Good deal.
- Sucker.
64
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:21,450
He didn't even ask
for the friends and family discount.
65
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:24,703
I'm having a party on Friday
and I was hoping you would stop by.
66
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,997
- Will there be girls there?
- Of course.
67
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:30,209
Because there wasn't last time.
68
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,212
There will be girls.
69
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,881
You guys are invited
if you want to come by.
70
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:39,843
- Thank you.
- All right, great. Later.
71
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,764
I see what you're doing.
72
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:47,100
You accept an invitation to a party
at the home of my sworn enemy.
73
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,269
He tells everyone
we're going to be there.
74
00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,397
And when we don't show,
he looks the fool. Fiendishly clever.
75
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,693
I was actually thinking about going.
76
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,947
And then declaring the party
a fiasco and storming out...
77
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:03,825
...leaving him humiliated
in front of his guests. Love it.
78
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:09,081
No, I was gonna grab Raj
and Howard and have a good time.
79
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,166
Ah, great, more guys.
80
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:14,294
It's gonna be another Wil Wheaton
sausage-fest.
81
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:43,782
- Sheldon, can you grab me a water?
- Possibly.
82
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,452
- Can you or can't you?
- It's not that simple, Leonard.
83
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:50,038
It never is, is it?
84
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,166
At this moment,
our relationship exists...
85
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,585
...in two mutually contradictory states.
86
00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:59,715
Until you either do not go
or go to Wil Wheaton's party...
87
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:03,135
...you are simultaneously
my friend and not my friend.
88
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:09,099
I'm characterizing this phenomenon
as Schrödinger's friendship.
89
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:14,062
- Got it. Can I have my water?
- Yeah, of course.
90
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,481
Now get it yourself, you traitor.
91
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,903
- Wait, what is going on?
- In case you have forgotten...
92
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:25,407
- ...Schrödinger's cat is a thought...
- No, I didn't forget.
93
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,452
Um, there's this cat in a box
and until you open it...
94
00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:30,579
...it's either dead or alive or both.
95
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,707
Although our cat got stuck
in my brother's camp trunk...
96
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:37,919
...and we did not need to open it to know
there was all kinds of dead cat in there.
97
00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:42,591
Homespun stories, knowledge
of physics and a bosom that defies it.
98
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,302
You're the whole package,
aren't you?
99
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:49,931
Sorry I'm late. Ugh, I got great news.
100
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:53,935
NASA picked my team's design
for the deep field space telescope...
101
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,563
...that's going on the
International Space Station this spring.
102
00:05:56,731 --> 00:05:58,482
SHELDON: Oh, woo, heh.
AMY: Wow, heh.
103
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:00,984
- Howie, that's wonderful! Congratulations!
HOWARD: Uh, heh.
104
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:04,237
It gets better. Someone has
to go up with the telescope...
105
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:09,117
...as a payload specialist,
and guess who that someone is, heh.
106
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:11,495
Muhammad Li.
107
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,873
Who's Muhammad Li?
108
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,626
Muhammad is the most
common first name in the world...
109
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,378
...Li, the most common surname.
110
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:23,048
As I didn't know the answer, I thought
that gave me a mathematical edge.
111
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,427
It's me, Sheldon. It's me.
I'm going up in space!
112
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,888
Technically, I'm an astronaut.
113
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,807
PENNY: Oh, my God.
LEONARD: That's amazing.
114
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:33,850
- Heh.
- Hang on a second.
115
00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:35,519
NASA doesn't have a shuttle anymore.
116
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:37,771
- How are you gonna get up there?
- Oh, uh, it's cool.
117
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,190
You fly to Moscow,
they take you to Kazakhstan.
118
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:44,194
Then you get in a Russian Soyuz rocket
which shoots you into a low earth orbit.
119
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:47,656
Or it just sits on the launch pad because
the Kazakhi mafia sold the rocket fuel...
120
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,367
...on the black market, heh.
121
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,537
Are those Russian rockets safe?
122
00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:54,788
Safe as it can be...
123
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:57,916
...when it was built by the folks
who brought you Chernobyl. Ha, ha.
124
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,421
I'd like to propose a toast.
125
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:05,090
The dream to go up into space
is one we all share...
126
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,844
...and Howard's making that a reality.
We're all very proud of you.
127
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,095
ALL:
Cheers.
128
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,680
(PENNY CHUCKLES)
129
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,349
- That was a lovely toast. Kudos.
- Thank you.
130
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:18,061
Simultaneously, a festival
of cloying clichés. You sicken me.
131
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,072
You're really quiet. Is everything okay?
132
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,075
Fine.
133
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,954
Just a little tired.
134
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:40,250
I hope not too tired because I'm feeling
particularly masculine right now.
135
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,588
All systems go,
if you catch my drift. Heh.
136
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:48,216
I always catch your drift.
137
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,094
Well, something's obviously
bugging you.
138
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,304
What is it?
139
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:56,516
I can't believe you signed up for
the space program without talking to me.
140
00:07:57,101 --> 00:07:58,477
(SIGHS)
141
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:01,855
I get it. We...
You're worried about me.
142
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:09,070
That is so sweet. You know,
there's a saying we have at NASA.
143
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:17,370
What makes the right stuff so right
is that it always comes home.
144
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:21,166
Just stop talking, Howard.
145
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,419
This isn't the reaction I expected...
146
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,255
...when I told you
I was gonna be an astronaut.
147
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,549
What did you think was gonna happen?
148
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,177
Honestly? Sex, heh.
149
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:36,806
- Howard.
- Do you realize what a big deal this is?
150
00:08:36,974 --> 00:08:40,936
What an honor it is
to be chosen to go into space?
151
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:44,731
Yeah, I get it. I just wish
you included me in the decision.
152
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:48,443
We're supposed to be partners.
We're supposed to be a team.
153
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,320
(HOWARD SIGHS)
154
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,405
I'm sorry. You're right.
155
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:55,617
Uh, okay, let's try this again.
156
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,246
Bernadette,
an opportunity has come up...
157
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:04,417
...that impacts both of us
and I'd like to discuss it.
158
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:09,464
- Okay.
- Heh, I've been offered a chance...
159
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:14,344
...to go up to the International
Space Station for three weeks.
160
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,221
What are your thoughts on that?
161
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,473
Well, first of all...
162
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:22,143
...thank you for including me
in the decision making process.
163
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,564
Hey, we're a team. Heh.
164
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,733
- So, what do you think?
- No.
165
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,279
- No?
- No.
166
00:09:32,446 --> 00:09:33,780
Wh...?
167
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,824
Whoa, why not?
168
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,912
Howard, ugh,
my father was a police officer.
169
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,123
We never knew
from one night to the next...
170
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,501
...if he was gonna come home alive.
It was horrible.
171
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:49,337
And I don't want to live
that way with you.
172
00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:50,880
(SIGHS)
173
00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,174
Well, hey...
174
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:57,846
...my father abandoned me
and my mother when I was 11.
175
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,765
We never saw him again.
176
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,892
Oh, boo hoo, you're not going to space.
177
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,484
- Pretty cool about Howard, huh?
- Don't talk to me...
178
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:15,030
...as if nothing's happened between us.
And yes, it sure is, buddy.
179
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:20,076
Will you stop
with the Schrödinger stuff?
180
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:23,705
Would you prefer an application
of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle?
181
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,041
In which I could either
know where you are...
182
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,627
...or whether I like you, but not both?
183
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,672
You never stop talking, do you?
184
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:37,636
What difference does it make
if Leonard goes to Wil Wheaton’s party?
185
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,055
No, Wil Wheaton
is Sheldon's mortal enemy.
186
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,057
- Mortal enemy?
- Mm-hm.
187
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:45,435
Sheldon, I know you're a bit
of a left-handed monkey wrench but...
188
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:50,482
- You really have a mortal enemy?
- In fact, I have 61 of them.
189
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,403
- Would you like to see the list?
- Oh, say no, say no, say no, say no.
190
00:10:56,238 --> 00:10:58,907
You just got off the list.
Would you like back on it?
191
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:06,373
This'll just take a moment.
It's on a five and a quarter inch floppy.
192
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:16,424
- A floppy disk?
- Well, I started the list when I was 9.
193
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,718
How did Wil Wheaton get on the list?
194
00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:20,261
PENNY: Oh, God.
LEONARD: Come on.
195
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,556
As a child, I loved Wesley Crusher...
196
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:25,600
...Wil Wheaton's character
on Star Trek.
197
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:28,687
So I drove for hours by bus
to a Star Trek convention...
198
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:31,231
...at which Wil Wheaton
was scheduled to appear...
199
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:34,401
...so that I could get
my Wesley Crusher action figure signed.
200
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:35,652
But he never showed...
201
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:38,279
...because apparently,
it was "cooler" for him...
202
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:41,324
...to be the lower-left corner
on Hollywood Squares.
203
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,913
Oh, damn! The floppy failed.
204
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,499
Well, whoever was in charge
of quality control...
205
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:54,963
...at the Verbatim Corporation in 1989,
congratulations, you just made the list.
206
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,762
- Howard?
- Change your mind about sex?
207
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:05,598
I'm still mad but I'll do it.
208
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:09,144
No, I've just been thinking.
209
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,311
(HOWARD SIGHS)
210
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:13,064
It doesn't matter
if I'm afraid for your safety.
211
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:16,568
I don't want to be the person who stands
between you and your dreams.
212
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,487
- Really?
- Really.
213
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:23,450
If going into space means that much
I will never say another word about it.
214
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,702
Thank you, heh.
215
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:28,371
- I love you.
- I love you too, heh.
216
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,752
So sex now?
217
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:36,671
- Okay.
- Heh.
218
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:39,299
I just forgot to brush my teeth.
I'll be right back.
219
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,847
(SOUL MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
220
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:05,200
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Over my dead body,
my son goes into outer space!
221
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,163
I'm ready.
222
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,877
Let me see if I got this right.
223
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,755
You actually asked Bernadette
to leave your house?
224
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:21,299
What choice did I have?
She went behind my back...
225
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,676
...and turned
my own mother against me.
226
00:13:23,844 --> 00:13:26,012
Wow, you're not
only our first astronaut.
227
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,349
You're also the first one of us
to kick a girl out of bed.
228
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:33,895
You're like a rock star.
229
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,607
- Little bit, heh.
- I hate to say it...
230
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,568
- ...but she did kind of betray you.
- Interesting.
231
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:45,031
You see betrayal in others
but not yourself.
232
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:49,410
Going to Wheaton's party
is not betraying you.
233
00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:53,665
Of course, you would have to believe that.
Evil always thinks it's doing right.
234
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,874
Huh.
235
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:58,920
Excuse me, Stormtrooper.
These are the droids you're looking for.
236
00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:01,881
I'm going to a party.
237
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:06,469
I'm not turning R2-D2
and C-3PO over to the Empire!
238
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,265
Not yet.
239
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,769
What's gonna happen? Are you
and Bernadette gonna break up?
240
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:18,314
If we're going to get back together,
she's gonna have to apologize...
241
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:22,902
...and accept that I'm a grown man
who can make his own decisions.
242
00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:25,655
Then convince your mother
to let you go into space.
243
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,073
Obviously.
244
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,538
I had no choice.
I had to tell his mother.
245
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,416
He can't go to space.
246
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:39,168
He's like a baby bird.
247
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:42,964
Do you know he once got
an asthma attack...
248
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:46,092
...from reading an old library book?
249
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,971
- You're kidding.
- No, I was there that day.
250
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:53,766
Sheldon threw his back out
handing him that book.
251
00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,728
I don't know what I'm going to do.
252
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,563
I don't want to break up over this.
253
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,773
Why don't you tell him
you made a mistake?
254
00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:03,776
Do you guys think it was a mistake?
255
00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,403
Am I the bad guy in this?
256
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:09,908
It's not for us to judge. We're here
to provide comfort and support...
257
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:13,995
...while you come to grips with
what a despicable thing you've done.
258
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,540
Oh, God, you're right.
259
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:22,003
I took our love and
threw it under his bus-sized mother.
260
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,967
- I need to apologize.
- That's good, I'm glad you came to that.
261
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:31,763
But before you do, let me just
ask you a big picture question.
262
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,681
What?
263
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:37,060
Are you a hundred percent positive
you love...
264
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:39,228
...and want to marry
Howard Wolowitz?
265
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:44,525
- I do, with all my heart.
- Tsk, got it. Just had to check.
266
00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:49,238
He's great.
267
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,787
All right, Sheldon.
We're going to Wil's.
268
00:15:55,955 --> 00:16:00,500
- This is your last chance.
- No, Leonard, this is your last chance.
269
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:04,337
One day, a historian
is going to come to you and say:
270
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:07,632
"Is it true you were friends
with Dr. Sheldon Cooper?"
271
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,719
And you're going to have to choke back
a hot sob of regret and humiliation...
272
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:15,181
...as you mumble,
"I was, but I chose to go to a party...
273
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:19,477
...thrown by the one kid from
Stand By Me that no one remembers."
274
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,983
- You want to drive?
- Sure.
275
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,860
(DOOR CLOSES)
276
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:33,282
- Hey, Sheldon?
- Oh, good. You picked me, you picked me.
277
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:37,704
No, I just got a text from Stuart.
Brent Spiner is at the party.
278
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,789
- Brent Spiner?
- Yes.
279
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,750
I don't care.
280
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:48,423
Really? Brent Spiner,
Mr. Data himself. You love him.
281
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:53,052
I did, but I think
I've kind of outgrown Star Trek.
282
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:59,767
You know, stock characters,
ludicrous plots, beam me up.
283
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:02,020
What a load of hooey.
284
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,481
I'm going.
Live long and prosper, Sheldon.
285
00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:08,109
Yeah, even that. You look like a dork.
286
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,449
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard, Bernadette's here!
287
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:16,117
Tell her I'm not home!
288
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:19,370
MRS. WOLOWITZ: What kind of a schmuck
play is that? She can hear you shouting!
289
00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:26,711
- Can we talk?
- You can. I have nothing to say.
290
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,881
All right.
291
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,968
I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry
I said something to your mother.
292
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:37,805
I was gonna tell her eventually
but you went behind my back.
293
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,640
I know. I'm sorry.
294
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:42,351
- I got scared.
- If you're gonna love me...
295
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,854
...you're gonna have
to love the whole package.
296
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:49,609
The tenderhearted poet
and the crazy daredevil.
297
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,113
- I know.
- Don't say it if you're not gonna mean it.
298
00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:56,324
I'm not just gonna stop
with the space station.
299
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:59,660
Yeah, I want to go to the moon,
I want to go to Mars.
300
00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:03,915
I want to take a one-man sub
to the lowest depths of the ocean.
301
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:08,377
Really? You got seasick
on Pirates of the Caribbean.
302
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,800
Well, those big kids were rocking it, heh.
303
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:17,929
I just did what I did
because I love you so much...
304
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:21,099
...and the thought of losing you
is more than I can handle.
305
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,352
- Really?
- You're my soul mate.
306
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,937
(HOWARD SIGHS)
307
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:31,359
- This is where you kiss me.
- Right, right, heh.
308
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:39,617
MRS. WOLOWITZ: Make up all you want!
Your tokus is not leaving this planet!
309
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,457
Hey, you know that beautiful actress...
310
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,043
...who plays the Borg Queen
in First Contact?
311
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,380
- Yeah.
- Well, I just met her gynecologist.
312
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:59,137
- What are you doing here?
- Fighting for our friendship.
313
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,807
As peculiar and annoying as you can be,
you're still my little buddy.
314
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:05,351
I'm not going to let that
end here tonight.
315
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:08,980
Now put down that drink,
let's meet Brent Spiner and go home.
316
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,816
Hey, Sheldon,
I'm so glad you made it.
317
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,235
I found something
I think you might like.
318
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,071
What I'd like is for him
to have a more depressing home.
319
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,073
This is quite lovely.
320
00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,450
This is for you.
321
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:25,204
An original mint-in-package
Wesley Crusher action figure.
322
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:28,708
I remembered your story about
the time you went to a convention...
323
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:31,878
...to get one signed and I didn't show.
Look at what I wrote.
324
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:38,634
"To Sheldon, sorry this took so long.
Your friend, Wil Wheaton."
325
00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,679
It's my last one.
I want you to have it.
326
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:46,934
Look, everyone.
Wil Wheaton is my friend!
327
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:54,859
Oh, wow. I haven't seen
one of these in years.
328
00:19:56,236 --> 00:20:00,281
Remember how we used to make these
things look like they were masturbating?
329
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,825
Brent Spiner, what have you done?
330
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:05,786
That was a mint-in-package
Wesley Crusher action figure.
331
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:08,414
Signed by my close personal friend,
Wil Wheaton.
332
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:12,001
Sorry, Slim. I've got some Mr. Data dolls
in the trunk of my car.
333
00:20:12,169 --> 00:20:13,711
You want me to sign one for you?
334
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,088
You've already signed something,
Brent Spiner.
335
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,674
Your name on my list.
336
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,930
From this moment on,
you are my mortal enemy.
337
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:26,807
Don't worry. It doesn't take up
a whole lot of your time.
338
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,103
Come on, buddy. Let's not waste
another second on this loser.
339
00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,898
Love your house.
340
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:37,902
- Can we get autographed dolls?
- Sure.
341
00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,738
Twenty bucks.
342
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,034
Ten.
343
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,497
- Eighteen.
- Twelve.
344
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,749
- Sixteen.
- Two for 30.
345
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,377
And you come to my birthday party.
346
00:20:57,631 --> 00:20:59,173
Done.
29362
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