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1
00:00:03,981 --> 00:00:06,245
Hey, do me a favor and take Table 7?
2
00:00:07,218 --> 00:00:10,676
You mean, the one with my 118-pound
rock-hard stud of a fianc�...
3
00:00:10,855 --> 00:00:14,154
...who's prone to canker sores
and pinkeye?
4
00:00:14,325 --> 00:00:17,089
I prefer to look at it
as the one with my ex-boyfriend...
5
00:00:17,261 --> 00:00:22,289
...and his gorgeous, successful girlfriend
who makes me feel like a toothless Okie.
6
00:00:24,135 --> 00:00:26,126
Do you want me
to spill hot soup on her?
7
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,370
Please, you're not that kind of person.
8
00:00:29,540 --> 00:00:30,598
I know.
9
00:00:30,775 --> 00:00:35,474
But if she orders something low-fat,
I'll totally give her the full-fat version.
10
00:00:37,748 --> 00:00:38,976
That's my water.
11
00:00:39,383 --> 00:00:41,351
- What?
- My water, you're drinking it.
12
00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:43,987
Dear Lord.
13
00:00:44,789 --> 00:00:47,656
- Have you been drinking it?
- Yes, it's my water.
14
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:51,526
Well, that's it then. I'm dead.
15
00:00:52,163 --> 00:00:53,790
Here we go.
16
00:00:53,964 --> 00:00:56,296
I'm sorry,
do I need to connect the dots for you?
17
00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:57,957
The backwash into this glass...
18
00:00:58,135 --> 00:01:01,036
...is every pathogen that
calls your mouth "home sweet home."
19
00:01:01,205 --> 00:01:03,833
Not to mention
the visitors who arrive on the tongue...
20
00:01:04,008 --> 00:01:05,839
...of your subtropical girlfriend.
21
00:01:07,178 --> 00:01:10,341
Hey, that's my sister and my country
you're talking about.
22
00:01:10,514 --> 00:01:12,004
Leonard may have defiled one...
23
00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:15,277
...but I won't have you talking smack
about the other.
24
00:01:15,486 --> 00:01:17,078
- You guys ready to order?
- Yes.
25
00:01:17,288 --> 00:01:19,347
I'd like a seven-day course
of penicillin...
26
00:01:19,523 --> 00:01:23,687
...some syrup of ipecac
to induce vomiting and a mint.
27
00:01:24,595 --> 00:01:27,359
- I don't understand.
- He drank from Leonard's glass.
28
00:01:27,531 --> 00:01:29,055
"He drank from Leonard's glass."
29
00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:31,827
The words they'll be carving
into my tombstone.
30
00:01:32,403 --> 00:01:35,201
- That's actually my napkin.
- Oh, this is a nightmare.
31
00:01:36,106 --> 00:01:37,164
Where are you going?
32
00:01:37,341 --> 00:01:39,707
To the bar
to sterilize my mouth with alcohol.
33
00:01:40,511 --> 00:01:42,877
Gangway, dead man walking.
34
00:02:09,473 --> 00:02:12,499
All right, here we go.
Two lemonades...
35
00:02:12,676 --> 00:02:14,337
...one iced tea...
36
00:02:14,512 --> 00:02:16,742
...and a root beer for Priya.
37
00:02:16,914 --> 00:02:20,441
- Is it diet?
- That's what you ordered.
38
00:02:22,686 --> 00:02:26,178
Thank you. Hey, have you and Howard
started planning your wedding yet?
39
00:02:26,390 --> 00:02:30,121
Yeah. We're thinking of having it
on a cliff overlooking the ocean.
40
00:02:30,294 --> 00:02:32,353
Nothing soothes those
pre-wedding jitters...
41
00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:35,192
...like the thought of falling
and drowning.
42
00:02:36,133 --> 00:02:38,658
What'd your mother say
when you told her?
43
00:02:38,836 --> 00:02:41,498
He hasn't told her yet.
He's waiting for the right time.
44
00:02:41,672 --> 00:02:45,130
I was thinking of weaving it
into her eulogy.
45
00:02:45,543 --> 00:02:48,103
Howard,
you've got to tell your mother.
46
00:02:48,279 --> 00:02:52,010
Have you told your parents you're dating
this short glass of skimmed milk yet?
47
00:02:54,218 --> 00:02:57,051
That's different.
First of all, we're not engaged...
48
00:02:57,221 --> 00:03:00,952
...and second, Indian parents
are very protective of their children.
49
00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:06,290
Right. Whereas Jewish mothers take
a casual la-di-da approach to their sons.
50
00:03:09,033 --> 00:03:12,196
I gargled with tequila
and may have swallowed a teeny bit.
51
00:03:12,369 --> 00:03:15,065
- You all right?
- Fine. Thank you for asking.
52
00:03:15,239 --> 00:03:16,706
I love you so much.
53
00:03:20,844 --> 00:03:21,936
Fire demon.
54
00:03:23,747 --> 00:03:27,239
Fire demon.
Sheldon's turning up the heat.
55
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,548
Troll master.
56
00:03:30,721 --> 00:03:34,213
Check it, Howard pulls one out
from under the bridge. Nice.
57
00:03:36,193 --> 00:03:37,251
Water nymph.
58
00:03:37,461 --> 00:03:40,521
Oh, yeah, she's got puddles
in all the right places.
59
00:03:41,665 --> 00:03:44,930
Could you please play the game
without commenting on every card?
60
00:03:45,102 --> 00:03:46,729
Sorry.
61
00:03:46,904 --> 00:03:49,202
Walking tree.
62
00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:56,607
- Last one.
- I'm taking a stroll and sporting wood.
63
00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:01,711
(PHONE CHIMES)
64
00:04:02,119 --> 00:04:05,179
- Okay, the eagle has landed.
- What's going on?
65
00:04:05,356 --> 00:04:09,258
Bernadette and my mother are having
a get-to-know-you lunch at the deli.
66
00:04:09,426 --> 00:04:10,586
That sounds lovely.
67
00:04:10,761 --> 00:04:13,059
Hope so.
Course, if history is any indication...
68
00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:16,757
...my mother will swallow her whole
and spit out her bones like an owl.
69
00:04:18,435 --> 00:04:21,802
- Have you met Bernadette's parents?
- You mean Adolf and Eva?
70
00:04:23,941 --> 00:04:27,604
Not yet. One goose step at a time.
71
00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:29,443
Sheldon, that's my water.
72
00:04:29,613 --> 00:04:32,138
Oh, dear Lord.
73
00:04:34,952 --> 00:04:36,146
That's not your water.
74
00:04:37,421 --> 00:04:39,013
I know.
75
00:04:41,058 --> 00:04:43,618
SHELDON:
Where's the mouthwash?
76
00:04:43,927 --> 00:04:45,952
Where indeed.
77
00:04:48,732 --> 00:04:51,428
HOWARD:
Ma, I'm home!
78
00:04:51,835 --> 00:04:56,169
- Where are you?
MRS. WOLOWITZ: I'm in the toilet!
79
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,298
So how'd it go?
80
00:04:58,475 --> 00:05:01,842
Too soon to say, I'm not done yet!
81
00:05:03,947 --> 00:05:06,575
No,
I mean lunch today with Bernadette.
82
00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:07,808
Oh!
83
00:05:07,985 --> 00:05:12,115
I had a pastrami sandwich.
She had eggplant lasagna.
84
00:05:12,289 --> 00:05:15,452
Like that's what a person orders
in a Jewish deli.
85
00:05:17,261 --> 00:05:19,161
Besides food, did you get along?
86
00:05:19,329 --> 00:05:21,126
- Did you talk?
- Oh, sure.
87
00:05:21,665 --> 00:05:26,125
Did you know she's going to school
to become a microbiologist?
88
00:05:27,271 --> 00:05:30,570
No, she never mentioned it.
89
00:05:31,075 --> 00:05:34,772
I bet she did and you didn't listen.
90
00:05:36,146 --> 00:05:38,205
Yeah, that's probably it.
What do you think?
91
00:05:38,382 --> 00:05:40,441
Do you like her?
I mean, she's great, huh?
92
00:05:40,617 --> 00:05:43,677
She's a lovely girl. Cute as a button.
93
00:05:43,854 --> 00:05:47,722
That's good to hear
because I've got some news.
94
00:05:47,891 --> 00:05:49,483
I hope it's good news...
95
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:52,595
...because I've got nothing
but disappointment in here.
96
00:06:01,371 --> 00:06:05,102
Bernadette and I are getting married.
97
00:06:09,146 --> 00:06:10,977
Ma?
98
00:06:11,615 --> 00:06:14,880
You too busy bearing down?
99
00:06:16,253 --> 00:06:18,050
Ma?
100
00:06:18,222 --> 00:06:20,213
(THUDDING)
101
00:06:20,424 --> 00:06:24,986
Oh, my God. Ma? Ma? Stand back,
I'm gonna break the door down.
102
00:06:32,236 --> 00:06:35,205
Son of a bitch. Ma, help.
103
00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:40,366
- Hey.
- Hello.
104
00:06:40,844 --> 00:06:43,005
I haven't seen you in a while.
How's it going?
105
00:06:43,714 --> 00:06:46,342
Other than waiting out
the exponential growth period...
106
00:06:46,517 --> 00:06:49,850
...of the virulent organisms
trooping through my microvilli...
107
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:54,218
...into my circulatory system,
hunky-dory.
108
00:06:54,858 --> 00:06:56,416
(CHUCKLING)
109
00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:00,796
Did I say something amusing?
110
00:07:01,565 --> 00:07:04,466
I don't know, maybe.
I have no idea what you said.
111
00:07:04,968 --> 00:07:07,801
So your mirth is merely a discharge
of nervous energy...
112
00:07:07,971 --> 00:07:10,303
...with no semantic content at all?
113
00:07:10,874 --> 00:07:13,308
My "mirth." Classic.
114
00:07:14,444 --> 00:07:15,934
Is there a station coming up...
115
00:07:16,113 --> 00:07:19,310
...where I can board
your giggling train of thought?
116
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:23,978
It's not a big deal. It's just ever since
Leonard's been dating Raj's sister...
117
00:07:24,188 --> 00:07:28,625
...l've had to keep my distance.
I don't get to hear all your jibber jabber.
118
00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:31,727
Jibber jabber? I don't jibber jabber.
119
00:07:32,162 --> 00:07:33,686
What are you doing at work
these days?
120
00:07:33,864 --> 00:07:37,630
Oh. I'm working on time-dependent
backgrounds in string theory.
121
00:07:37,801 --> 00:07:41,897
Specifically, quantum field theory
in D-dimensional de Sitter space.
122
00:07:43,473 --> 00:07:46,237
Come on, even you have to admit
that's jibber jabber.
123
00:07:48,245 --> 00:07:52,079
Interesting. Do you know where
the phrase "jibber jabber" comes from?
124
00:07:52,482 --> 00:07:56,282
Oh, my God. You're about
to jibber jabber about jibber jabber.
125
00:08:00,090 --> 00:08:02,422
Howard and his mother
are at the hospital.
126
00:08:02,593 --> 00:08:05,858
- Oh, my God, what happened?
- I don't know, I just got a text. Hurry.
127
00:08:09,766 --> 00:08:11,427
Sheldon, let's go.
128
00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:14,870
To a hospital? Full of sick people?
129
00:08:16,506 --> 00:08:18,371
Oh, I don't think so.
130
00:08:18,842 --> 00:08:21,310
Your friend and his mother are there,
we're going.
131
00:08:22,112 --> 00:08:23,170
I can't.
132
00:08:23,747 --> 00:08:25,510
Don't tell me you're afraid of germs.
133
00:08:25,682 --> 00:08:28,480
Not all germs.
134
00:08:28,685 --> 00:08:30,243
Just the ones that will kill me.
135
00:08:31,455 --> 00:08:33,719
The same way I'm not afraid
of all steak knives.
136
00:08:33,891 --> 00:08:36,758
Just the ones that might be plunged
in my thorax.
137
00:08:37,828 --> 00:08:41,821
I'll tell Howard you're more concerned
about your own well-being than his.
138
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,399
I would think he would know that.
139
00:08:46,203 --> 00:08:48,068
You know what? You are unbelievable.
140
00:08:48,272 --> 00:08:51,969
You buy all these superhero T-shirts
but when it's time for you to step up...
141
00:08:52,142 --> 00:08:55,373
...and do the right thing,
you just hide in the laundry room.
142
00:08:55,846 --> 00:08:57,074
Fine, I'll go.
143
00:08:58,315 --> 00:09:02,012
Just for the record,
my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital.
144
00:09:02,185 --> 00:09:05,313
She went in to visit my uncle Roger,
caught something...
145
00:09:05,489 --> 00:09:07,719
...and bit the dust a week later.
146
00:09:07,891 --> 00:09:11,224
The two of them now share a coffee can
on my mother's mantel.
147
00:09:16,366 --> 00:09:19,767
So I knocked down the bathroom door,
picked up my unconscious mother...
148
00:09:19,937 --> 00:09:23,600
...carried her to the car and drove
like a madman to the emergency room.
149
00:09:23,807 --> 00:09:27,766
- You're a real hero, Howard.
- No, I did what any son would do.
150
00:09:28,245 --> 00:09:31,214
Hang on a second,
you picked up your mother?
151
00:09:33,083 --> 00:09:35,950
Her own legs are barely able
to do that.
152
00:09:37,454 --> 00:09:39,388
I was filled with adrenaline.
153
00:09:39,556 --> 00:09:42,218
It happens to be
how women lift cars off babies.
154
00:09:42,392 --> 00:09:44,883
Yeah,
I'm saying it'd be easier to lift a car.
155
00:09:46,396 --> 00:09:48,728
What can I tell you,
after I found the courage...
156
00:09:48,899 --> 00:09:51,834
...to put her pants back on,
I was unstoppable.
157
00:09:53,704 --> 00:09:56,798
- So how is she?
- They're running tests, I don't know.
158
00:09:56,974 --> 00:10:00,637
It may have been a heart attack
or heart-attack-like event.
159
00:10:00,811 --> 00:10:03,336
- What's the difference?
- A heart-attack-like event...
160
00:10:03,513 --> 00:10:06,414
...is an event that's like a heart attack.
161
00:10:07,417 --> 00:10:09,442
Thanks for clearing that up.
162
00:10:09,619 --> 00:10:12,179
Regardless, coronary problems
are eminently treatable.
163
00:10:12,356 --> 00:10:14,517
What's more likely
to kill Howard's mother...
164
00:10:14,725 --> 00:10:16,784
...are the antibiotic-resistant
superbugs...
165
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,521
...festering in every nook and cranny
of this hospital.
166
00:10:20,764 --> 00:10:21,992
Okay, you're not helping.
167
00:10:22,766 --> 00:10:24,324
Disagree.
168
00:10:25,335 --> 00:10:27,963
Go sit over there.
169
00:10:28,372 --> 00:10:31,170
I'll sit over there. It looks cleaner.
170
00:10:33,643 --> 00:10:35,668
Is there heart disease in your family?
171
00:10:35,846 --> 00:10:39,543
My family is the history
of heart disease.
172
00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:44,244
There's a cave painting in France
of one of my ancestors doing this:
173
00:10:47,324 --> 00:10:50,350
- So it's probably genetic.
- Well, maybe.
174
00:10:50,527 --> 00:10:54,293
Mom also had just gotten some news
that might have upset her.
175
00:10:54,464 --> 00:10:56,864
- What?
- It's not important.
176
00:10:57,034 --> 00:11:00,470
Howard, I'm gonna be your wife,
you can share anything with me.
177
00:11:00,971 --> 00:11:03,337
You'd think that, but no.
178
00:11:07,711 --> 00:11:11,203
You told her we were gonna get married
and she had a heart attack?
179
00:11:11,381 --> 00:11:14,509
You can't take that personally.
180
00:11:15,185 --> 00:11:18,154
How else is she supposed to take it?
181
00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:22,086
What you've gotta keep in mind
is that ever since my dad left...
182
00:11:22,292 --> 00:11:24,590
...l've been the whole world
to my mother.
183
00:11:24,795 --> 00:11:29,755
I mean, she'd be threatened by any
woman who can give me what she can't.
184
00:11:29,933 --> 00:11:32,401
You mean, sexual intercourse?
185
00:11:35,238 --> 00:11:38,696
Well, when you say it like that,
you make it sound creepy.
186
00:11:38,909 --> 00:11:41,571
- What happened?
- Howard's mother had a heart attack...
187
00:11:41,745 --> 00:11:45,545
...because I have sex with him
and she can't.
188
00:11:48,518 --> 00:11:51,112
Bernie, wait.
189
00:11:51,955 --> 00:11:55,447
I'll give you $1000
if you'll drive me home.
190
00:11:57,761 --> 00:11:59,456
Nice of you to come for Howard.
191
00:11:59,629 --> 00:12:02,223
Well, he's my friend. It's what you do.
192
00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:04,162
(CHUCKLES)
193
00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:06,829
I'm sorry, did I miss something?
194
00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:10,696
It's just so weird.
Howard Wolowitz is my friend.
195
00:12:10,874 --> 00:12:14,605
You know he tried to stick his tongue
down my throat and I broke his nose?
196
00:12:15,445 --> 00:12:18,380
That's a little easier to believe
than he's your friend.
197
00:12:18,548 --> 00:12:20,379
Yeah, tell me about it.
198
00:12:20,550 --> 00:12:23,041
My brother had a group of friends
like this in India.
199
00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,085
They dressed up in leotards
and goggles.
200
00:12:25,255 --> 00:12:27,621
And called themselves
the New Delhi Power Rangers.
201
00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:30,926
You mean, when he was little.
202
00:12:31,094 --> 00:12:33,494
Not as little as you'd want him to be.
203
00:12:36,266 --> 00:12:39,463
This stuff is horrible.
Wanna see if we can find real coffee?
204
00:12:39,636 --> 00:12:42,434
Sure. We're going to the cafeteria
to get some coffee.
205
00:12:42,606 --> 00:12:44,631
- You want anything?
- I'm fine.
206
00:12:45,575 --> 00:12:47,566
That's nice that they're getting along.
207
00:12:47,744 --> 00:12:50,440
Your girlfriend and ex-girlfriend
hanging out together?
208
00:12:50,614 --> 00:12:53,583
Oh, yeah,
that can only be good for you.
209
00:12:56,887 --> 00:12:59,481
- What are you talking about?
- One broke up with you.
210
00:12:59,656 --> 00:13:02,090
Do you really want her
telling the other one why?
211
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:06,093
I don't care.
I don't have anything to hide.
212
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:09,255
Good, good.
Then you have nothing to worry about.
213
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:13,500
No, I do not.
214
00:13:15,972 --> 00:13:17,963
You are a mean little man.
215
00:13:19,776 --> 00:13:22,438
You'd think it'd be
because my parents didn't love me...
216
00:13:22,612 --> 00:13:24,671
...but actually,
they loved me a great deal.
217
00:13:25,615 --> 00:13:27,640
Bernie, it's not you.
218
00:13:27,817 --> 00:13:30,445
- She's just set in her ways.
- How can we be together...
219
00:13:30,620 --> 00:13:33,646
...if the thought of us getting married
might kill your mother?
220
00:13:34,424 --> 00:13:37,416
It's the circle of life, sweetie.
221
00:13:38,962 --> 00:13:43,194
One day our son will marry someone
and it will kill you.
222
00:13:45,502 --> 00:13:48,835
Howard, I have to go to the bathroom
and no one will take me home.
223
00:13:49,005 --> 00:13:52,736
- What's wrong with the bathroom here?
- Pneumococcus, streptococcus...
224
00:13:52,943 --> 00:13:56,344
...staphylococcus
and other assorted coccuses.
225
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,814
Sheldon,
my mother is on her deathbed...
226
00:13:58,982 --> 00:14:01,815
...and my fianc�e is grief-stricken
over putting her there.
227
00:14:01,985 --> 00:14:04,545
I'm not taking you home.
228
00:14:04,721 --> 00:14:08,054
At least go with me so you can
open the door and flush the urinal.
229
00:14:08,225 --> 00:14:10,056
No.
230
00:14:10,227 --> 00:14:12,195
This might be a good time
to point out...
231
00:14:12,362 --> 00:14:15,263
...that friendship requires
a certain give and take.
232
00:14:16,399 --> 00:14:18,492
Hold the door.
233
00:14:24,507 --> 00:14:25,997
Mr. Wolowitz?
234
00:14:26,176 --> 00:14:28,235
- Is she okay?
- It wasn't a heart attack.
235
00:14:28,411 --> 00:14:31,778
She's awake, she's resting comfortably
and we're still running tests.
236
00:14:31,982 --> 00:14:33,745
- Can I see her?
- Actually, she said...
237
00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:37,216
...and I quote, she'd like to see
"the little Catholic girl first."
238
00:14:40,423 --> 00:14:42,084
Me? Why me?
239
00:14:42,259 --> 00:14:46,252
Jews have been asking that for centuries.
There's no real good answer.
240
00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:50,759
Okay, well, wish me luck.
241
00:14:50,934 --> 00:14:53,926
Don't worry, you'll be fine.
Let's just hide Mr. Cross.
242
00:14:55,071 --> 00:14:58,097
If it touches her, it burns, so...
243
00:15:01,077 --> 00:15:03,136
Brought a Catholic girl home
to your mother?
244
00:15:03,313 --> 00:15:04,371
Yeah.
245
00:15:04,547 --> 00:15:07,573
Why don't I write you a prescription
for Xanax?
246
00:15:11,788 --> 00:15:14,256
Finally.
247
00:15:14,557 --> 00:15:17,458
(MAN COUGHING)
248
00:15:27,804 --> 00:15:29,795
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
249
00:15:29,973 --> 00:15:32,305
Wait, you can't leave here,
you've been exposed.
250
00:15:35,812 --> 00:15:37,780
SHELDON:
No, I haven't.
251
00:15:38,782 --> 00:15:40,807
It's all good.
252
00:15:42,619 --> 00:15:44,109
Wanna talk about crazy mothers?
253
00:15:44,287 --> 00:15:46,949
Leonard's mom wouldn't give him
any approval growing up.
254
00:15:47,123 --> 00:15:48,317
Oh, the poor thing.
255
00:15:48,491 --> 00:15:50,425
It makes him desperate
to please women.
256
00:15:50,593 --> 00:15:53,289
That's why the foreplay
goes on and on.
257
00:15:53,596 --> 00:15:54,858
It does, doesn't it?
258
00:15:55,065 --> 00:15:57,625
It's like he's trying to win a prize.
259
00:15:57,801 --> 00:16:01,430
A word of advice, don't doze off.
You will never hear the end of it.
260
00:16:01,604 --> 00:16:05,370
Help me! Come back!
261
00:16:05,575 --> 00:16:06,701
Penny!
262
00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:12,838
There are a couple of things I did with
Penny that might be a little silly, but...
263
00:16:13,016 --> 00:16:14,881
Like what?
264
00:16:15,118 --> 00:16:17,348
Every once in a while,
before we'd go to bed...
265
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:20,182
...l'd put on a little show for her.
266
00:16:22,625 --> 00:16:24,183
What do you mean "a show"?
267
00:16:24,661 --> 00:16:29,155
Well, you know,
like the way I took my clothes off.
268
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:31,597
Like to music?
269
00:16:32,836 --> 00:16:36,397
I'd look pretty stupid
if there was no music.
270
00:16:37,374 --> 00:16:38,841
So you'd do a striptease.
271
00:16:39,509 --> 00:16:42,535
Well, I wasn't swinging around a pole.
272
00:16:43,613 --> 00:16:45,740
Good, good.
273
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:50,352
There was one time
I put body glitter on.
274
00:16:51,554 --> 00:16:54,546
I don't think you have to worry
about Penny telling my sister.
275
00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:58,558
- No, she wouldn't.
- Your big problem is me telling her.
276
00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:03,055
You really are a mean little man.
277
00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:07,058
PRIYA:
Oh, God, that is so true.
278
00:17:07,237 --> 00:17:08,431
Yeah. I know, eh?
279
00:17:08,638 --> 00:17:10,833
Hey, what took you guys so long?
280
00:17:11,007 --> 00:17:12,269
Oh, we were just chatting.
281
00:17:12,442 --> 00:17:13,909
That's nice. What about?
282
00:17:14,277 --> 00:17:17,405
We were just comparing notes
about how you are in the sack.
283
00:17:19,082 --> 00:17:20,640
(LAUGHING)
284
00:17:20,817 --> 00:17:23,285
- That's funny.
- Yeah.
285
00:17:24,387 --> 00:17:25,752
What if she wasn't kidding?
286
00:17:26,256 --> 00:17:30,158
Doesn't matter.
I'm the king of foreplay.
287
00:17:33,196 --> 00:17:34,754
Hey, how'd it go?
288
00:17:34,931 --> 00:17:36,865
You're a putz.
289
00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:41,436
- You know what that means?
- Yeah. Do you?
290
00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:43,398
Your mother just taught it to me.
291
00:17:43,573 --> 00:17:46,041
She thinks she got food poisoning
from that deli...
292
00:17:46,209 --> 00:17:48,370
...and she wanted to make sure
I was okay.
293
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,035
And are you?
294
00:17:50,213 --> 00:17:53,273
No, because I'm engaged to a putz.
295
00:17:55,485 --> 00:17:58,613
You let me believe
I was the reason she had a heart attack.
296
00:17:58,788 --> 00:18:01,916
- Well, based on the available evidence...
- Shut up!
297
00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:04,923
She said I'm a wonderful girl
and you're lucky to have me.
298
00:18:05,295 --> 00:18:06,387
Where are you going?
299
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:08,963
(IN GRUFF VOICE)
To the toilet! Is that okay with you?
300
00:18:15,071 --> 00:18:18,802
Is it just me, or does she sound sexy
when she's angry?
301
00:18:28,284 --> 00:18:29,615
Mountain elf.
302
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:36,356
He takes the elf from off the shelf.
303
00:18:39,028 --> 00:18:40,154
Hell hounds.
304
00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:41,354
Hell hounds.
305
00:18:41,531 --> 00:18:45,524
(SINGING) Who let the satanic dogs out?
Who? Who? Who?
306
00:18:47,537 --> 00:18:48,834
Colossal serpent.
307
00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:51,974
I got a colossal serpent right here.
308
00:18:54,477 --> 00:18:55,637
Must you?
309
00:18:55,812 --> 00:18:57,871
Sorry.
I'm just trying to cheer my buddy up.
310
00:18:59,549 --> 00:19:01,744
Rotting zombie.
311
00:19:02,018 --> 00:19:03,918
Sheldon's new Facebook photo.
312
00:19:09,025 --> 00:19:12,654
Zandor, wizard of the north.
Ha! I win.
313
00:19:13,062 --> 00:19:15,553
If you skip the part about
being under quarantine...
314
00:19:15,732 --> 00:19:18,895
...because you were exposed
to a deadly disease, absolutely.
25619
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