Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:11,503 --> 00:00:14,570
Come on, it's just a word.
2
00:00:14,603 --> 00:00:16,402
Say it, already.
3
00:00:16,437 --> 00:00:17,537
Alright, you got this.
4
00:00:21,637 --> 00:00:26,969
I want your hot, throbbing...
5
00:00:27,003 --> 00:00:28,403
Ugh.
6
00:00:28,437 --> 00:00:31,069
Uh-uh. No. Gross.
7
00:00:31,103 --> 00:00:32,036
And painful.
8
00:00:32,069 --> 00:00:34,403
Who would ask for hot,
throbbing anything?
9
00:00:34,437 --> 00:00:36,103
Throbbing is what happens
to your finger
10
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:37,703
when you slam it
in the car door.
11
00:00:39,236 --> 00:00:40,570
I want it now.
12
00:00:40,603 --> 00:00:44,069
Your hot, throbbing...
13
00:00:47,403 --> 00:00:49,737
Ok.
14
00:00:51,637 --> 00:00:52,770
Give it to me.
15
00:00:52,804 --> 00:00:58,703
And by "it", I mean I want
your hot, throbbing... nope!
16
00:00:58,737 --> 00:00:59,537
No!
17
00:00:59,570 --> 00:01:01,537
Not at all convincing!
18
00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:03,069
God, Luce, it's a word.
19
00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:05,136
It's a word,
just say it already.
20
00:01:05,670 --> 00:01:06,637
Alright.
21
00:01:11,770 --> 00:01:15,335
I want your hot, throbbing...
22
00:01:17,403 --> 00:01:18,470
For the love of god!
23
00:01:18,503 --> 00:01:21,270
Cock! Cock! Cock!
24
00:01:21,302 --> 00:01:22,403
Cock! Cock!
25
00:01:22,437 --> 00:01:23,936
Cock!
26
00:01:28,503 --> 00:01:34,403
Oh... um, my friend has this
farm and there's this rooster.
27
00:01:34,437 --> 00:01:35,703
Troublemaker.
28
00:01:40,003 --> 00:01:41,203
Alright.
29
00:01:41,236 --> 00:01:45,969
Well, that is a... sentence
that's just never gonna happen.
30
00:04:14,204 --> 00:04:16,303
Wait, what's he doing
with his hand?
31
00:04:16,336 --> 00:04:18,069
That actually feels good.
32
00:04:18,103 --> 00:04:19,969
So that was an accident.
33
00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:22,036
You're so... good to me.
34
00:04:25,336 --> 00:04:25,969
Hey.
35
00:04:26,003 --> 00:04:26,570
Hmm?
36
00:04:26,603 --> 00:04:27,437
Are we good?
37
00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:28,103
Yeah.
38
00:04:28,136 --> 00:04:28,637
You like that?
39
00:04:28,670 --> 00:04:29,171
Ok. Good.
40
00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:32,303
Ok, sexy thoughts.
41
00:04:32,336 --> 00:04:35,737
A cabana on a hot,
tropical beach.
42
00:04:35,770 --> 00:04:36,969
I'm getting a massage,
43
00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:42,336
which suddenly turns into
spontaneous, unbridled sex.
44
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,670
With Steve Carell.
45
00:04:43,703 --> 00:04:46,670
Only like in his newer movies,
with silver hair.
46
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,003
Yes!
47
00:04:48,036 --> 00:04:48,570
Yes!
48
00:04:48,603 --> 00:04:49,503
I'm coming!
49
00:04:49,537 --> 00:04:50,670
Yes!
50
00:04:50,703 --> 00:04:52,069
Wheat-free waffles!
51
00:04:52,103 --> 00:04:54,069
Shit, did I just say
that out loud?
52
00:04:54,103 --> 00:04:55,503
Huh?
53
00:04:55,537 --> 00:04:56,670
Sorry.
54
00:04:56,703 --> 00:04:57,570
Just a second.
55
00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:00,603
That was what I forgot
at the store.
56
00:05:00,637 --> 00:05:02,503
I couldn't remember all day.
57
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,570
No, no, no, no.
58
00:05:05,603 --> 00:05:06,271
It's good.
59
00:05:06,303 --> 00:05:08,703
My mind is completely free.
60
00:05:09,003 --> 00:05:10,670
I'm ready now.
61
00:05:13,437 --> 00:05:16,670
Yeah... I don't think you are.
62
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,237
We should get a ceiling fan.
63
00:05:30,503 --> 00:05:32,036
Hey, what're you doing?
64
00:05:32,637 --> 00:05:34,537
No-don't mess up my lists.
65
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:35,503
Why?
66
00:05:35,537 --> 00:05:37,137
It's not like you ever finish
any of them.
67
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:37,969
That is not true.
68
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:39,370
Just because you're
angry, don't-
69
00:05:39,403 --> 00:05:40,204
Ok, look.
70
00:05:40,237 --> 00:05:42,104
Most women, during sex,
you know,
71
00:05:42,137 --> 00:05:44,271
they say things like...
72
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:47,003
I don't-like, "yes, yes,
give it to me good".
73
00:05:47,036 --> 00:05:50,303
Who says that?
74
00:05:50,336 --> 00:05:51,171
People.
75
00:05:51,204 --> 00:05:52,703
People who you know?
76
00:05:52,737 --> 00:05:54,603
You honestly want me
to yell out,
77
00:05:54,637 --> 00:05:56,570
"Yes, yes, give it to me good"?
78
00:05:56,603 --> 00:06:00,003
Well, it would be better
than "wheat-free waffles".
79
00:06:00,036 --> 00:06:03,070
Why don't you just admit
that you're not into sex?
80
00:06:03,104 --> 00:06:05,537
I'm so not not into sex.
81
00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:07,670
You didn't even take off
your pyjamas!
82
00:06:07,703 --> 00:06:10,003
Yeah, well, they're comfortable!
83
00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:11,403
What're you doing?
84
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:12,703
You gotta
be kidding me.
85
00:06:12,737 --> 00:06:15,670
I have work to do.
86
00:06:15,703 --> 00:06:16,370
I'm on a deadline.
87
00:06:16,403 --> 00:06:18,637
You work in the garage, alright?
88
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:21,171
Testing video games!
89
00:06:24,470 --> 00:06:26,070
Don't judge me.
90
00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:33,137
Sorry, Mr. Bach.
91
00:06:33,171 --> 00:06:38,936
I need something with
a little more spirit.
92
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,003
Great.
93
00:06:46,037 --> 00:06:47,336
Where is my cord?
94
00:07:11,603 --> 00:07:14,437
Oh my god, he's a regular.
95
00:07:18,603 --> 00:07:21,237
Don't stop!
96
00:07:21,271 --> 00:07:27,570
Oh my-oh my... that
is a lot of vagina.
97
00:07:27,603 --> 00:07:30,570
Yes, yes, give it to me good!
98
00:07:30,603 --> 00:07:34,470
Oh my god, did she really
just say that?
99
00:07:36,271 --> 00:07:37,970
Thank you, sweetie.
100
00:07:39,204 --> 00:07:40,104
I thought you were evolved.
101
00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:43,037
We met at a film festival,
for god's sake!
102
00:07:43,070 --> 00:07:44,171
What're you talking about?
103
00:07:44,204 --> 00:07:47,970
What I'm talking about is that.
104
00:07:48,004 --> 00:07:50,503
What is that?
105
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:52,104
I don't know, a girl?
106
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:53,004
No.
107
00:07:53,037 --> 00:07:54,004
I'm a girl.
108
00:07:54,037 --> 00:07:55,403
That is a vixen.
109
00:07:55,437 --> 00:07:57,037
Whatever.
110
00:07:57,070 --> 00:07:58,204
Excuse me?
111
00:07:58,237 --> 00:07:59,570
What, I'm not enough?
112
00:07:59,603 --> 00:08:00,570
Look, ok, yeah.
113
00:08:00,603 --> 00:08:03,670
I'm sorry you're upset,
but you kinda have this,
114
00:08:03,703 --> 00:08:08,070
like, irrational fear of
intimacy or anything
115
00:08:08,104 --> 00:08:09,703
that can't be put on a list.
116
00:08:09,737 --> 00:08:12,104
You are talking sensuality to me
as you are sitting there
117
00:08:12,137 --> 00:08:14,403
hacking heads off?
118
00:08:14,437 --> 00:08:15,503
Oh, is this funny to you?
119
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,104
Really?
120
00:08:20,336 --> 00:08:22,437
Since when are you
a porn person?
121
00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:27,370
Well, I'm a guy,
so since always.
122
00:08:30,204 --> 00:08:31,637
Oh, see, that's bullshit.
123
00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:33,670
I just got killed
by crossfire again.
124
00:08:33,703 --> 00:08:35,537
How are you being so
nonchalant about this?
125
00:08:35,570 --> 00:08:36,470
In this day in age,
126
00:08:36,503 --> 00:08:38,171
when women are finally
standing up to men
127
00:08:38,204 --> 00:08:40,037
who use sex as a tool
of oppression, you're-
128
00:08:40,070 --> 00:08:42,403
Woah, woah,
woah, woah, woah!
129
00:08:42,437 --> 00:08:44,703
I'm not oppressing anyone, ok?
130
00:08:44,737 --> 00:08:48,537
They put it out there,
guys pay for it, and girls,
131
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,470
everyone's happy.
132
00:08:50,503 --> 00:08:53,503
Have... have you ever watched
a porn film?
133
00:08:53,537 --> 00:08:55,171
I think I just saw plenty,
134
00:08:55,204 --> 00:08:57,503
and I hardly think
that the word film applies,
135
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,437
not when it degrades
the entire female species.
136
00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:03,037
Yeah, see, I don't think so.
137
00:09:03,070 --> 00:09:05,104
I think it's just a business.
138
00:09:05,137 --> 00:09:06,137
Oh.
139
00:09:06,171 --> 00:09:07,237
Oh, ok. I see.
140
00:09:07,271 --> 00:09:10,037
So it's just a collection of
highly-skilled workers
141
00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:11,403
providing a service.
142
00:09:11,437 --> 00:09:12,503
Yeah, exactly.
143
00:09:12,537 --> 00:09:16,537
And the best are banking
millions and the rest are
144
00:09:16,570 --> 00:09:22,537
compensated really well
for their... artistry.
145
00:09:22,570 --> 00:09:23,970
Artistry?
146
00:09:24,004 --> 00:09:25,403
Yeah.
147
00:09:25,437 --> 00:09:27,037
Mmmhmm. Yeah. Yes.
148
00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:29,370
It's uh, it's kinda like you
with your violin.
149
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:30,336
Right?
150
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,470
Is it so hard for you
to understand that,
151
00:09:31,503 --> 00:09:35,970
you know, this is how some
people express themselves?
152
00:09:36,004 --> 00:09:38,403
What I can't believe is that
you are attempting
153
00:09:38,437 --> 00:09:43,370
to draw a parallel
between what I do and this.
154
00:09:43,403 --> 00:09:45,570
That's because
you're pornophobic.
155
00:09:45,603 --> 00:09:47,070
That's not even a word.
156
00:09:47,104 --> 00:09:49,004
You know, how uptight you are,
157
00:09:49,037 --> 00:09:51,570
it's kinda like your
whole life problem.
158
00:09:51,603 --> 00:09:53,370
No, even words are
too much for you.
159
00:09:53,403 --> 00:09:54,004
We're done.
160
00:09:54,037 --> 00:09:55,570
Wait, no, we're not done.
161
00:09:55,603 --> 00:09:56,503
Lucy.
162
00:09:56,537 --> 00:09:57,336
Come here.
163
00:09:57,370 --> 00:09:58,271
Ow, Jesus. Come on.
164
00:09:58,303 --> 00:09:59,004
Ugh.
165
00:09:59,037 --> 00:09:59,537
Lucy, come back.
166
00:09:59,570 --> 00:10:00,470
Hey! Wait!
167
00:10:00,503 --> 00:10:03,104
Just try saying something racy.
168
00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:03,905
Like what?
169
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,570
Like, I don't know,
like... use
170
00:10:06,603 --> 00:10:09,603
"hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
171
00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:11,204
Why would anyone do that?
172
00:10:11,237 --> 00:10:13,171
And by the way, since when
do we spy on each other?
173
00:10:13,204 --> 00:10:14,037
I mean, spying?
174
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:14,570
That's not cool.
175
00:10:14,603 --> 00:10:16,403
I wasn't spying!
176
00:10:16,437 --> 00:10:18,370
And I don't know
who you are anymore.
177
00:10:18,403 --> 00:10:21,070
Yeah, well I don't know
you worse!
178
00:10:22,503 --> 00:10:25,271
Well, I'm not gonna compete
with all of that.
179
00:10:25,303 --> 00:10:28,037
So... so you need to decide.
180
00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:30,403
It's me or the porn!
181
00:10:33,271 --> 00:10:34,171
Really?
182
00:10:34,204 --> 00:10:36,503
That's what you consider
an essential item?
183
00:10:36,537 --> 00:10:38,670
He's autographed.
184
00:10:39,703 --> 00:10:41,204
Come on, bud.
185
00:10:41,237 --> 00:10:43,403
Don't-don't crease
and don't break.
186
00:10:43,437 --> 00:10:45,970
Alright, it's just
you and me now.
187
00:10:58,104 --> 00:11:00,037
I hope you get that stick
out of your ass!
188
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:01,171
Why?
189
00:11:01,204 --> 00:11:03,370
So you can use it
on yourself?!
190
00:11:08,271 --> 00:11:09,070
Hi, Mr. Glassell.
191
00:11:09,104 --> 00:11:10,336
Good morning.
192
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,271
It was.
193
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:19,137
Where are you?
194
00:11:19,171 --> 00:11:19,670
You're late.
195
00:11:19,703 --> 00:11:20,670
You're never late.
196
00:11:20,703 --> 00:11:21,470
I'm worried.
197
00:11:21,503 --> 00:11:23,303
Should I be worried?
198
00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:32,237
I'm coming.
199
00:11:32,271 --> 00:11:33,370
Sorry.
200
00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:38,370
Ok, so sorry.
201
00:11:39,204 --> 00:11:40,403
Where have you been?
202
00:11:40,437 --> 00:11:42,004
The bride's about
to start trotting up.
203
00:11:42,037 --> 00:11:43,204
Sorry.
204
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,070
A bride on a horse.
205
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,271
What could go wrong?
206
00:11:47,037 --> 00:11:48,303
Play.
207
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,171
Hello there, Mr. Best Man.
208
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:20,237
Oh, no, that's actually
my friend Grant.
209
00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:22,204
I think he's just a groomsman.
210
00:12:25,303 --> 00:12:27,204
Matrimony.
211
00:12:28,771 --> 00:12:31,204
The commemoration of
an unshakable bond.
212
00:12:33,771 --> 00:12:35,537
Oh, dear me.
213
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:38,271
Oh my-oh my god.
214
00:12:38,303 --> 00:12:39,403
Yeah, no, this wedding
is awesome.
215
00:12:39,437 --> 00:12:40,503
That could not
have been the plan.
216
00:12:42,704 --> 00:12:43,738
Oh gosh.
217
00:12:46,303 --> 00:12:47,503
Is that horse poo?
218
00:12:47,537 --> 00:12:48,937
God, it smells.
219
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,537
Pretend it's not there.
220
00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:55,570
Oh, she's gonna remember
this day, isn't she?
221
00:12:55,603 --> 00:12:57,437
You wanted the horse, ok?
222
00:12:57,470 --> 00:13:00,004
Well, if she cancels she still
has to pay us, right?
223
00:13:00,037 --> 00:13:01,671
Yes, especially because it was
Grant who referred us
224
00:13:01,704 --> 00:13:02,937
for the job.
225
00:13:02,970 --> 00:13:05,370
I just-I'm sorry, I can't get
over how he is so good-looking
226
00:13:05,403 --> 00:13:07,104
and you never told me about him.
227
00:13:07,137 --> 00:13:08,403
You don't date actual adults.
228
00:13:08,437 --> 00:13:09,370
Kale?
229
00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:10,570
He's an adult.
230
00:13:10,603 --> 00:13:12,570
He picks you up on a skateboard.
231
00:13:12,603 --> 00:13:13,437
It's ok, everyone.
232
00:13:13,470 --> 00:13:14,470
I'm ok.
233
00:13:14,738 --> 00:13:16,303
Why are you giving my dude
such a hard
234
00:13:16,336 --> 00:13:17,237
time when this one over here,
235
00:13:17,271 --> 00:13:20,137
she's sleeping on Captain
America sheets.
236
00:13:21,271 --> 00:13:22,104
Lucy, are you alright?
237
00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:22,638
Are you crying?
238
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:23,570
I was just kidding.
239
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:26,470
Yeah, it was just a joke
about the sheets.
240
00:13:26,771 --> 00:13:28,271
Jeff left me.
241
00:13:29,104 --> 00:13:30,537
He moved out.
242
00:13:31,437 --> 00:13:33,237
Are you ok?
243
00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,204
I'm so sorry, Luce,
that's terrible.
244
00:13:43,204 --> 00:13:44,570
Ok, now.
245
00:13:44,604 --> 00:13:45,537
Where were we?
246
00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:47,204
We're going to get married now.
247
00:13:47,237 --> 00:13:49,037
Yeah.
248
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,537
I don't know,
it's all such a blur.
249
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:00,437
Actually, no.
250
00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:02,171
It started while
we were having sex, and-
251
00:14:02,204 --> 00:14:03,738
Ok.
252
00:14:03,771 --> 00:14:06,303
Is that why you guys fought?
253
00:14:06,336 --> 00:14:09,303
I remembered an item
off of my grocery list, so-
254
00:14:09,336 --> 00:14:10,970
Oh, honey.
255
00:14:11,004 --> 00:14:13,137
How do you expect to survive
marriage week after week,
256
00:14:13,171 --> 00:14:14,336
year after year?
257
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:19,403
Sex with the same person in
the same order for 27 years.
258
00:14:19,437 --> 00:14:21,537
Well, until you find yourself
one day dressing up for the guy
259
00:14:21,571 --> 00:14:23,537
who sprays for bugs.
260
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,403
Well, how do you expect
to survive all that
261
00:14:25,437 --> 00:14:26,604
if you can't focus now?
262
00:14:26,638 --> 00:14:31,336
I might have focus issues
but he is into porn, alright?
263
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:32,303
It's disgusting!
264
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:35,204
It was all over his computer,
he is totally-
265
00:14:35,237 --> 00:14:36,503
A man?
266
00:14:36,537 --> 00:14:39,237
All men look at dirty pictures,
married or not.
267
00:14:39,271 --> 00:14:41,237
It's-it's how they maintain
their vigour.
268
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,070
Right, Paul?
269
00:14:42,104 --> 00:14:43,137
Well, it's-
270
00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:45,271
When men start declining
sexually by the age of 18.
271
00:14:45,303 --> 00:14:47,271
Once they hit 30
it's a ski slope.
272
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,970
I beg your pardon.
273
00:14:49,004 --> 00:14:50,403
Except for Paul.
274
00:14:50,437 --> 00:14:52,104
Who is, I'm sure,
a sexual wonder.
275
00:14:52,137 --> 00:14:53,970
Didn't your girlfriend leave
you for a woman, though?
276
00:14:54,004 --> 00:14:54,805
Ok, easy.
277
00:14:54,838 --> 00:14:56,437
Wait, does this mean
you have porn?
278
00:14:56,470 --> 00:14:57,004
Hmm?
279
00:14:57,037 --> 00:14:58,271
And go to strip clubs?
280
00:14:58,303 --> 00:14:59,271
No, I do not go
to strip clubs.
281
00:14:59,303 --> 00:15:00,271
Ever?
282
00:15:00,303 --> 00:15:01,538
I have, but it's not like I do.
283
00:15:01,571 --> 00:15:03,137
Do you use the internet?
284
00:15:03,171 --> 00:15:03,704
Define "use".
285
00:15:03,738 --> 00:15:04,538
What about prostitutes?
286
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:05,604
No, not the ones
who do it for crack.
287
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,137
I mean like the ones you go
to that thing in Vegas
288
00:15:08,171 --> 00:15:09,171
that I've seen on HBO.
289
00:15:09,204 --> 00:15:10,104
Do you know what?
I'm out.
290
00:15:10,137 --> 00:15:10,970
I knew it.
291
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,137
Hello.
292
00:15:12,171 --> 00:15:13,538
Ask me about sex.
293
00:15:13,571 --> 00:15:15,171
I'm right here.
294
00:15:15,204 --> 00:15:16,104
No.
295
00:15:16,137 --> 00:15:17,437
Your enthusiasm is really
un-relatable.
296
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:18,303
Oh, come on.
297
00:15:18,336 --> 00:15:20,237
I got this whole library
of cliterature.
298
00:15:20,271 --> 00:15:20,970
You can just-
299
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,204
What?
300
00:15:22,237 --> 00:15:25,004
Books you diddle to, babe.
301
00:15:25,037 --> 00:15:25,905
Please, girl.
302
00:15:25,937 --> 00:15:28,137
Tell me that you masturbate,
at least.
303
00:15:29,171 --> 00:15:30,171
No.
304
00:15:30,204 --> 00:15:32,004
This is not about me, alright?
305
00:15:32,037 --> 00:15:33,470
This is about my
boyfriend leaving
306
00:15:33,504 --> 00:15:36,638
because I think being a pervert
is really inappropriate.
307
00:15:36,671 --> 00:15:43,037
I also have blindfolds,
handcuffs, vibrators...
308
00:15:45,104 --> 00:15:46,204
Priscilla has them, too!
309
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,271
Oh, the buzz buzz,
not the rest of it.
310
00:15:48,303 --> 00:15:49,204
You do?
311
00:15:49,237 --> 00:15:50,204
It's called a personal massager.
312
00:15:50,237 --> 00:15:51,538
I got it at Brookestone.
313
00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:53,370
Really?
314
00:15:53,403 --> 00:15:54,370
Oh.
315
00:15:54,403 --> 00:15:58,171
Well... but you have Stanley.
316
00:15:58,204 --> 00:16:00,471
Vibrators are necessary,
my dear.
317
00:16:00,504 --> 00:16:02,403
Because life is short
318
00:16:02,437 --> 00:16:05,671
and explaining things
to men is long.
319
00:16:26,471 --> 00:16:28,604
Sex to do list.
320
00:16:28,638 --> 00:16:32,104
Number one.
Watch 25 porn films.
321
00:16:32,137 --> 00:16:35,438
Number two.
Go to a sex store.
322
00:16:35,471 --> 00:16:38,303
Number three.
Read cliterature.
323
00:16:38,336 --> 00:16:40,538
Number four.
Visit strip club.
324
00:16:40,571 --> 00:16:42,137
Number five.
Sex toy party.
325
00:16:42,171 --> 00:16:43,704
Number six.
Sex seminar.
326
00:16:43,738 --> 00:16:45,237
Number seven.
Test vibrators.
327
00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,471
Number eight. Internet porn,
view some.
328
00:16:47,504 --> 00:16:49,638
Number nine.
Consult a sex expert.
329
00:16:49,671 --> 00:16:51,438
Number 10.
Brothel, visit.
330
00:16:51,471 --> 00:16:54,004
Number 11.
Meet a porn star.
331
00:16:54,037 --> 00:16:55,237
Number 12...
332
00:16:55,271 --> 00:16:59,137
Use "hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
333
00:16:59,171 --> 00:17:00,504
There.
334
00:17:00,538 --> 00:17:05,070
And I can even check
the last one off right now.
335
00:17:11,336 --> 00:17:13,638
For the love of god, cock!
336
00:17:13,671 --> 00:17:16,137
Cock! Cock! Cock!
337
00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:17,571
Cock! Cock.
338
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,171
I want your cock!
339
00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:22,070
Well done.
340
00:17:23,137 --> 00:17:24,237
Cock.
341
00:17:41,438 --> 00:17:42,937
God!
342
00:17:45,671 --> 00:17:46,471
Hey!
343
00:17:46,504 --> 00:17:48,004
Woah!
344
00:17:48,037 --> 00:17:50,738
Oh, Grant, you gotta go
check out the ballroom, man.
345
00:17:50,771 --> 00:17:52,471
The bridal party's twerkin'.
346
00:17:54,137 --> 00:17:54,571
Woah.
347
00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:55,204
You're kidding.
348
00:17:55,237 --> 00:17:56,438
Ah, ah!
349
00:17:58,771 --> 00:18:00,137
Ugh!
350
00:18:01,638 --> 00:18:03,336
Oh my god,
are you serious?
351
00:18:04,303 --> 00:18:05,271
Hello?
352
00:18:05,303 --> 00:18:07,137
I can't believe you
would do this to me.
353
00:18:07,171 --> 00:18:07,738
What, Jeff?
354
00:18:07,771 --> 00:18:09,538
I'm not enough for you?
355
00:18:09,571 --> 00:18:10,937
Ugh!
356
00:18:14,371 --> 00:18:15,704
Everything alright in there?
357
00:18:17,004 --> 00:18:18,538
Coming in.
358
00:18:26,704 --> 00:18:27,404
You alright, love?
359
00:18:27,438 --> 00:18:29,137
You want me to get the doctor?
360
00:18:30,204 --> 00:18:30,970
What?
361
00:18:31,004 --> 00:18:32,037
Why-no.
362
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,037
What, because
I'm on the floor?
363
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:33,970
No.
364
00:18:34,004 --> 00:18:34,970
No.
365
00:18:35,004 --> 00:18:36,004
No, no, no.
366
00:18:36,037 --> 00:18:37,037
I'm just medicating.
367
00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:38,004
Tating.
368
00:18:38,037 --> 00:18:40,404
Meditating.
369
00:18:40,438 --> 00:18:42,638
I just heard crying
or yelling.
370
00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:43,638
Chanting.
371
00:18:43,671 --> 00:18:44,404
Chanting?
372
00:18:44,438 --> 00:18:45,337
Yeah.
373
00:18:45,371 --> 00:18:47,371
Yeah?
374
00:18:47,404 --> 00:18:49,004
Just coming to check to make
sure everything's fine?
375
00:18:49,037 --> 00:18:50,271
Yeah.
376
00:18:50,304 --> 00:18:53,104
No, I always do like a little
chant for the gride and broom.
377
00:18:53,137 --> 00:18:56,004
Before the first dance.
378
00:18:56,037 --> 00:18:58,970
How do you mean?
379
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:02,070
Oh, you know,
like a chant.
380
00:19:02,104 --> 00:19:04,371
Yeah, no, I don't.
381
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,037
Yeah, just sort of...
382
00:19:06,871 --> 00:19:15,671
Close my eyes and go
383
00:19:15,704 --> 00:19:20,671
Chanting...
384
00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:22,538
Which obviously
means something.
385
00:19:22,571 --> 00:19:23,337
Unity.
386
00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:24,304
Yeah.
387
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:29,104
Yeah. It means unity
in that they're now one.
388
00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:31,272
And yet they're two.
389
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,970
So, really it's about being
strong enough
390
00:19:35,004 --> 00:19:39,337
to make one one
out of two ones.
391
00:19:39,371 --> 00:19:41,538
And yet still be two.
392
00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:42,371
Yeah.
393
00:19:42,404 --> 00:19:44,204
Makes sense.
394
00:19:44,237 --> 00:19:46,237
Totally get it.
395
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:47,137
You do?
396
00:19:47,171 --> 00:19:48,404
Yeah.
397
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:51,638
It's... like a building.
398
00:19:51,671 --> 00:19:53,504
It's only as strong
as its weakest pillar.
399
00:19:53,538 --> 00:19:55,471
Yeah, but is that true?
400
00:19:55,504 --> 00:19:58,070
Because it seems to me that
if you have enough pillars,
401
00:19:58,104 --> 00:20:00,004
like say you're the Acropolis,
402
00:20:00,037 --> 00:20:03,571
I think you could get away
with one crappy pillar.
403
00:20:03,604 --> 00:20:04,671
Sure.
404
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:10,272
Except for earthquakes,
hurricanes, strong winds...
405
00:20:10,304 --> 00:20:11,104
Aliens.
406
00:20:11,137 --> 00:20:13,004
Well, we can't do much
about that.
407
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:15,004
But you make a good point.
408
00:20:15,037 --> 00:20:17,204
One in which I happen
to believe in.
409
00:20:18,272 --> 00:20:20,704
Uh... what-what point
is that?
410
00:20:20,738 --> 00:20:23,970
Well, you can't be useful
in a two
411
00:20:24,004 --> 00:20:26,970
until you figure yourself
out as a one.
412
00:20:28,504 --> 00:20:29,504
Hmm.
413
00:20:30,738 --> 00:20:32,004
Cocktail?
414
00:20:32,037 --> 00:20:33,638
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
415
00:20:33,671 --> 00:20:34,970
Well, here's to me.
416
00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:36,371
That was brilliant.
417
00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:37,272
But you're right.
418
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:38,638
No time for cocktails.
419
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:46,304
The two ones must waltz
so this one one must play.
420
00:20:46,337 --> 00:20:47,438
Ok.
421
00:20:51,738 --> 00:20:52,970
Alrighty.
422
00:20:53,004 --> 00:20:54,238
Hey.
423
00:20:54,272 --> 00:20:56,337
Don't you need this?
424
00:20:57,771 --> 00:21:00,404
Or you chant the waltz, too?
425
00:21:00,438 --> 00:21:02,238
Sometimes.
426
00:21:16,471 --> 00:21:18,004
I'm not pornophobic.
427
00:21:22,272 --> 00:21:23,738
All men look at dirty pictures.
428
00:21:23,771 --> 00:21:26,970
Oh, Jeff.
429
00:21:27,004 --> 00:21:29,337
Yes, yes, give it to me good.
430
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:31,638
You're pornophobic.
431
00:21:31,671 --> 00:21:35,272
I cannot drink her blood,
she's pornophobic.
432
00:21:35,304 --> 00:21:36,504
Am I not enough?
433
00:21:36,538 --> 00:21:39,304
Looks like she's suffering
from stage four pornophobia.
434
00:21:39,337 --> 00:21:41,638
Say something racy.
435
00:21:41,671 --> 00:21:43,138
It's a word.
436
00:21:43,172 --> 00:21:44,504
Just say it already.
437
00:21:44,538 --> 00:21:45,738
Pornophobic.
438
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:46,738
Jeff left me.
439
00:21:46,771 --> 00:21:48,471
Pornophobic.
440
00:21:48,504 --> 00:21:51,671
Today we gather here
to remember Lucy Neal,
441
00:21:51,704 --> 00:21:55,970
who died alone from pornophobia.
442
00:21:56,004 --> 00:21:59,371
She died in the house she
inherited from her grandmother
443
00:21:59,404 --> 00:22:03,571
that she was only able to
fill with unfinished lists,
444
00:22:03,604 --> 00:22:04,671
not love.
445
00:22:04,704 --> 00:22:06,604
You're pornophobic!
446
00:22:25,538 --> 00:22:26,538
Ok.
447
00:22:32,771 --> 00:22:35,105
Sexpressions of Lust?
448
00:22:35,138 --> 00:22:36,538
Please.
449
00:22:42,272 --> 00:22:45,205
Madame Mischief's
Boudoir Secrets.
450
00:22:45,238 --> 00:22:47,272
Maybe it's a historical fiction?
451
00:22:47,304 --> 00:22:49,471
And who doesn't like secrets?
452
00:22:50,138 --> 00:22:52,638
Better get one more for back-up.
453
00:22:53,771 --> 00:22:56,304
Bad Sally.
454
00:22:56,337 --> 00:22:58,205
That can't be right.
455
00:23:32,004 --> 00:23:33,304
Oh god.
456
00:23:50,704 --> 00:23:52,471
Faylene springs from the house
457
00:23:52,504 --> 00:23:55,138
as Michele passionately
gives chase.
458
00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:57,304
Running for her life, Michele
grabs Faylene's wrist
459
00:23:57,337 --> 00:24:02,571
and twirls her until he backs
her into an erect pillar.
460
00:24:02,604 --> 00:24:04,504
He could almost taste
her ruby lips
461
00:24:04,538 --> 00:24:09,538
but Faylene thrusts her knee
into Michele, spins him around.
462
00:24:09,571 --> 00:24:10,571
Seizing the moment,
463
00:24:10,604 --> 00:24:12,205
Faylene pulls out a hidden
pistol sheathed
464
00:24:12,238 --> 00:24:15,438
on her thigh and pulls it
up to his chin.
465
00:24:17,471 --> 00:24:19,105
And then stops.
466
00:24:26,438 --> 00:24:28,538
Michele takes one strong finger
467
00:24:28,571 --> 00:24:30,504
and slowly drags
the pistol downwards.
468
00:24:30,538 --> 00:24:32,471
Faylene watches in wonder
as the cold steel surrenders
469
00:24:32,504 --> 00:24:34,937
to its final destination.
470
00:24:35,404 --> 00:24:36,937
Michele's manhood.
471
00:24:38,005 --> 00:24:42,172
Michele walks his finger across
the barrel and cocks the gun.
472
00:24:42,205 --> 00:24:45,538
Faylene knows what she wants
and she decides to take it.
473
00:24:59,205 --> 00:25:00,971
Whew.
474
00:25:13,138 --> 00:25:14,504
Salt shaker is done.
475
00:25:14,538 --> 00:25:16,504
I can check that off my list.
476
00:25:27,438 --> 00:25:29,438
Hello.
477
00:25:29,471 --> 00:25:33,571
We have chocolate,
mimosas, tissues, sympathy.
478
00:25:33,604 --> 00:25:35,138
Wait, why do you look
so good?
479
00:25:35,172 --> 00:25:36,404
Where did you get
those jeans?
480
00:25:36,438 --> 00:25:37,038
No reason.
481
00:25:37,071 --> 00:25:37,704
Nowhere.
482
00:25:37,738 --> 00:25:39,604
And pity's not why I called.
483
00:25:39,638 --> 00:25:41,371
I told you we need
When Harry Met Sally.
484
00:25:41,404 --> 00:25:42,238
Mmmhmm.
485
00:25:42,272 --> 00:25:43,471
You do chocolates,
I'm on cocktails.
486
00:25:43,504 --> 00:25:44,538
No, really.
487
00:25:44,571 --> 00:25:46,038
I'm fine.
488
00:25:46,071 --> 00:25:47,005
I am.
489
00:25:47,038 --> 00:25:48,538
For, I have renewed life purpose
in the form
490
00:25:48,571 --> 00:25:51,272
of a research project
with which I need your help.
491
00:25:52,304 --> 00:25:53,172
She said research.
492
00:25:53,205 --> 00:25:54,538
She called me for research.
493
00:25:54,571 --> 00:25:55,337
You're losing it.
494
00:25:57,371 --> 00:26:00,538
We're doing number two and the
train is leaving in one minute.
495
00:26:03,038 --> 00:26:06,138
Guys, do you think
I'm gonna need this?
496
00:26:07,504 --> 00:26:09,105
Best break-up ever.
497
00:26:09,138 --> 00:26:10,638
Oh god.
498
00:26:20,337 --> 00:26:24,638
This is your Nissan Leaf,
this is your Mercedes C Class,
499
00:26:24,671 --> 00:26:30,704
and this is the Maserati
of vibrators.
500
00:26:30,738 --> 00:26:35,538
A serious piece of equipment for
only the most experienced user.
501
00:26:36,038 --> 00:26:37,105
Oh.
502
00:26:37,138 --> 00:26:38,971
Sold.
503
00:26:39,971 --> 00:26:43,371
Using it could desensitize
you to men forever.
504
00:26:43,671 --> 00:26:45,138
I'll take one.
505
00:26:52,671 --> 00:26:53,538
Hey, Luce!
506
00:26:53,571 --> 00:26:55,604
I found something for ya.
507
00:26:56,337 --> 00:26:58,438
He doesn't say
irritating things,
508
00:26:58,471 --> 00:27:02,138
he's a feminist, doesn't watch
football, or fart.
509
00:27:02,172 --> 00:27:04,438
Well, none of them do at first.
510
00:27:13,238 --> 00:27:17,138
Can I help you
with that cock ring?
511
00:27:17,172 --> 00:27:18,138
No.
512
00:27:18,172 --> 00:27:19,138
No, I got this.
513
00:27:19,172 --> 00:27:20,671
I was just checking...
514
00:27:21,571 --> 00:27:22,971
Sure.
515
00:27:29,638 --> 00:27:31,371
Everything alright over there?
516
00:27:31,839 --> 00:27:36,371
Sorry, just um...
looking for...
517
00:27:38,138 --> 00:27:39,604
for a Mother's Day gift.
518
00:27:39,638 --> 00:27:40,738
Oh.
519
00:27:40,772 --> 00:27:42,638
You know, I was wondering
what a nice girl like you
520
00:27:42,671 --> 00:27:44,438
was doing in a place
like this.
521
00:27:44,471 --> 00:27:47,071
I could ask you
the same thing.
522
00:27:47,105 --> 00:27:48,538
Go ahead.
523
00:27:50,772 --> 00:27:54,671
What's a nice girl like you
doing in a place like this?
524
00:27:55,337 --> 00:27:56,272
Oh...
525
00:27:59,371 --> 00:28:00,304
Oh!
526
00:28:00,337 --> 00:28:01,238
Busy day you got there.
527
00:28:01,272 --> 00:28:02,071
Oh-
528
00:28:02,105 --> 00:28:03,105
Uh, it's amazing
you have the time
529
00:28:03,138 --> 00:28:07,604
with all the violin playing
and the chanting.
530
00:28:07,638 --> 00:28:09,038
Of course you remember me.
531
00:28:09,071 --> 00:28:11,038
It's not every day I run
into a beautiful girl
532
00:28:11,071 --> 00:28:14,304
with such a propensity
for crouching.
533
00:28:15,205 --> 00:28:18,438
Did he actually just use
the word "propensity"?
534
00:28:21,005 --> 00:28:22,371
Oh hey.
535
00:28:23,172 --> 00:28:24,638
Adopted this puppy.
536
00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:27,337
And breakfast is ready.
537
00:28:28,504 --> 00:28:30,404
And the dishes are done.
538
00:28:31,739 --> 00:28:34,238
Hey, you're the best man
from the wedding
539
00:28:34,272 --> 00:28:35,571
with the pooping horse?
540
00:28:35,604 --> 00:28:38,138
Oh, yeah, I was just
a groomsman.
541
00:28:38,172 --> 00:28:40,105
Oh, well, I'm Nessa.
542
00:28:40,138 --> 00:28:41,571
I was a part of the quartet.
543
00:28:41,604 --> 00:28:43,404
Oh, yeah. You guys
were great.
544
00:28:43,438 --> 00:28:45,071
Thank you.
545
00:28:45,105 --> 00:28:46,705
I play the cello.
546
00:28:46,739 --> 00:28:47,739
Um, yeah.
547
00:28:47,772 --> 00:28:50,238
It's, you know, the big one
between your legs?
548
00:28:50,272 --> 00:28:53,138
Lucy over here,
she plays the violin.
549
00:28:53,172 --> 00:28:55,371
So it's Lucy, is it?
550
00:28:55,404 --> 00:28:57,571
So fancy meeting you here.
551
00:28:57,604 --> 00:29:00,071
What're you doing?
552
00:29:00,105 --> 00:29:02,205
Oh yeah, um, good question.
553
00:29:02,238 --> 00:29:03,971
I'm looking for a Mother's
Day gift.
554
00:29:04,005 --> 00:29:06,005
Oh, really?
555
00:29:06,038 --> 00:29:07,304
Me too.
556
00:29:07,337 --> 00:29:11,071
I mean, I would never be here
for myself.
557
00:29:12,272 --> 00:29:13,705
Or would I?
558
00:29:13,739 --> 00:29:14,971
Nessa.
559
00:29:15,005 --> 00:29:18,005
Uh, I'm actually
an architect.
560
00:29:18,038 --> 00:29:19,272
Paul Goodwin works at my firm.
561
00:29:19,304 --> 00:29:20,504
Right.
562
00:29:20,538 --> 00:29:24,371
Yeah, I vaguely remember him
mentioning something like that.
563
00:29:24,404 --> 00:29:26,272
I'm ah, working on
a job upstairs
564
00:29:26,304 --> 00:29:27,571
to reconfigure
the office space.
565
00:29:27,604 --> 00:29:28,806
Oh.
566
00:29:28,839 --> 00:29:30,571
Not nearly as interesting as
what's going on on that list.
567
00:29:30,604 --> 00:29:31,404
Oh, no.
568
00:29:31,438 --> 00:29:35,304
This is purely a
research project.
569
00:29:35,337 --> 00:29:36,172
Yeah, honestly
I can't help it.
570
00:29:36,205 --> 00:29:41,172
I went to Harvard
so I'm research-y.
571
00:29:41,205 --> 00:29:42,205
Actually, that's where
I met Paul.
572
00:29:42,238 --> 00:29:43,337
Really?
573
00:29:43,371 --> 00:29:46,272
You're using the H-bomb
on the best man?
574
00:29:46,304 --> 00:29:47,071
I just can't.
575
00:29:47,105 --> 00:29:48,071
I'm gonna go talk
to Priscilla.
576
00:29:48,105 --> 00:29:50,272
And wha the hell is up
with your lips, girl?
577
00:29:53,538 --> 00:29:55,371
I'm Grant.
578
00:29:55,404 --> 00:29:56,971
Who works here?
579
00:29:57,471 --> 00:29:59,172
Did I hear you say you
work here?
580
00:30:00,571 --> 00:30:02,571
Why, yes he does.
581
00:30:04,238 --> 00:30:06,304
So does she.
582
00:30:06,337 --> 00:30:08,705
I just wanna find out
if this works.
583
00:30:09,138 --> 00:30:13,272
Actually, sir, I am very
familiar with this product.
584
00:30:13,304 --> 00:30:15,205
It's one of my favourites.
585
00:30:15,238 --> 00:30:18,105
In fact, I've got it on
right now.
586
00:30:18,471 --> 00:30:20,238
What do you mean,
you're wearing it now?
587
00:30:20,272 --> 00:30:21,672
On what?
588
00:30:21,705 --> 00:30:23,337
On my lips.
589
00:30:23,371 --> 00:30:24,571
You put it on your lips?
590
00:30:24,605 --> 00:30:29,438
Uh, Luce, I don't think you put
erection cream on your lips.
591
00:30:30,138 --> 00:30:31,304
Oh my god.
592
00:30:33,005 --> 00:30:34,138
Oh.
593
00:30:34,672 --> 00:30:36,205
Excuse me?
594
00:30:36,238 --> 00:30:38,404
Do these come in extra large?
595
00:30:43,038 --> 00:30:46,038
Got you some ice
from the cafe.
596
00:30:46,071 --> 00:30:47,371
Thanks.
597
00:30:49,304 --> 00:30:55,172
Yeah, I thought your lips
looked a little...
598
00:30:55,205 --> 00:30:57,272
You got a chant for
this sort of thing?
599
00:30:58,438 --> 00:30:59,639
Woah.
600
00:31:02,772 --> 00:31:04,371
Can I have your number?
601
00:31:05,172 --> 00:31:06,272
You want my number?
602
00:31:06,304 --> 00:31:07,605
Yeah.
603
00:31:09,471 --> 00:31:10,705
Wait, really?
604
00:31:10,739 --> 00:31:13,272
I have a gig you might
be interested in playing.
605
00:31:14,071 --> 00:31:15,471
That's awesome.
606
00:31:16,138 --> 00:31:19,105
I'll um, I'll wait out here.
607
00:31:23,672 --> 00:31:24,705
Bye.
608
00:31:43,304 --> 00:31:46,304
So his dad co-chairs this annual
insurance commissioner's dinner
609
00:31:46,337 --> 00:31:48,238
and he wants you and me
to walk around
610
00:31:48,272 --> 00:31:50,172
and do the wandering
minstrel thing.
611
00:31:50,205 --> 00:31:51,572
First the wedding
and now this?
612
00:31:51,605 --> 00:31:53,071
Is he your new booking agent?
613
00:31:53,105 --> 00:31:55,038
Excuse me, why not all of us?
614
00:31:55,071 --> 00:31:58,038
Uh, I don't know, but you did
make it a point to tell him
615
00:31:58,071 --> 00:31:59,739
that your legs are pretty
occupied while you play.
616
00:32:00,672 --> 00:32:01,572
Will he be there?
617
00:32:01,605 --> 00:32:03,005
He didn't say.
618
00:32:03,038 --> 00:32:06,071
So, with the exception
of the H-bomb incident,
619
00:32:06,105 --> 00:32:08,071
and putting erection cream
on your lips,
620
00:32:08,105 --> 00:32:09,639
I'd say this was
very successful.
621
00:32:09,672 --> 00:32:12,205
You had a nice conversation
with a handsome man,
622
00:32:12,238 --> 00:32:16,739
we got a gig out of nowhere,
and you got Burt.
623
00:33:08,205 --> 00:33:09,505
Hmm.
624
00:33:16,138 --> 00:33:18,639
You know, after one week of
being broken up with Jeff
625
00:33:18,672 --> 00:33:24,005
after four years of dating and I
cannot believe how great I feel.
626
00:33:24,038 --> 00:33:27,304
Well, what I can't believe is
that we're actually doing this.
627
00:33:27,337 --> 00:33:30,304
Alright, Jersey, how we doin'?
628
00:33:30,337 --> 00:33:32,439
All six of you.
629
00:33:32,472 --> 00:33:33,605
Alright, first thing's first.
630
00:33:33,639 --> 00:33:34,572
I'm gonna go grab us
some drinks.
631
00:33:34,605 --> 00:33:38,005
Alright, now for the sexiest
identical twins
632
00:33:38,038 --> 00:33:40,138
with the hottest dance moves.
633
00:33:40,172 --> 00:33:43,172
Everybody give it up
for Cherry and
634
00:33:43,205 --> 00:33:45,971
♪ ...Dallas. ♪
635
00:33:46,272 --> 00:33:47,238
Dallas!
636
00:33:51,472 --> 00:33:53,605
Hey Wes, can I trouble you
for two beers, mate?
637
00:33:53,639 --> 00:33:54,639
Pretend like you don't
know me.
638
00:33:54,672 --> 00:33:56,071
Brilliant.
639
00:33:57,138 --> 00:33:58,405
Did he say Cherry and Dallas?
640
00:33:58,439 --> 00:34:01,005
You know, this is not
what I expected.
641
00:34:01,038 --> 00:34:01,439
Shh.
642
00:34:01,472 --> 00:34:02,337
Why?
643
00:34:02,371 --> 00:34:03,639
Are you afraid I'm gonna
wake them up?
644
00:34:03,672 --> 00:34:04,672
Oh, come on.
645
00:34:04,705 --> 00:34:06,672
They're performers and
you're talking over them.
646
00:34:06,705 --> 00:34:07,971
Don't be rude.
647
00:34:08,005 --> 00:34:09,038
It's disrespectful.
648
00:34:09,071 --> 00:34:09,639
I'm just saying.
649
00:34:09,672 --> 00:34:10,337
Hi, Cynthia.
650
00:34:10,371 --> 00:34:11,472
Loving the hair.
651
00:34:11,505 --> 00:34:12,572
How are you doing tonight?
652
00:34:12,605 --> 00:34:13,304
Hi.
653
00:34:13,337 --> 00:34:14,038
Thank you.
654
00:34:14,071 --> 00:34:15,238
Oh, it's a little cold
in here.
655
00:34:15,272 --> 00:34:15,938
Can I-
656
00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:16,639
Actually, we're totally fine.
657
00:34:16,672 --> 00:34:18,005
Why don't you keep the change?
658
00:34:18,038 --> 00:34:18,705
You know what?
659
00:34:18,739 --> 00:34:19,705
Throw that in for good measure.
660
00:34:19,739 --> 00:34:21,172
Don't embarrass me.
661
00:34:21,205 --> 00:34:23,304
Embarrassment's the least
of your problems.
662
00:34:23,337 --> 00:34:25,005
Ok, I need to level with you.
663
00:34:25,038 --> 00:34:26,272
It's not cold in here.
664
00:34:26,304 --> 00:34:27,337
It's optimal.
665
00:34:27,372 --> 00:34:29,071
Get with the program.
666
00:34:30,672 --> 00:34:32,038
Where are you going?
667
00:34:32,304 --> 00:34:33,539
Getting with the program.
668
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:34,572
Don't do that!
669
00:34:34,605 --> 00:34:36,238
Lucy, come back, please.
670
00:34:37,172 --> 00:34:38,105
Hi.
671
00:34:38,138 --> 00:34:39,539
Your wife didn't send me here
to spy on you,
672
00:34:39,572 --> 00:34:40,739
I promise.
673
00:34:40,772 --> 00:34:42,071
Don't worry.
674
00:34:49,005 --> 00:34:52,938
I wonder how these girls stay
in such good shape.
675
00:34:54,038 --> 00:34:55,005
Quick question for you.
676
00:34:55,038 --> 00:34:59,372
Do you do pilates or...
oh, wow.
677
00:35:01,572 --> 00:35:04,172
Oh, nice, Luce.
678
00:35:04,205 --> 00:35:05,938
Thank you so much.
679
00:35:16,705 --> 00:35:18,005
Wait a second.
680
00:35:20,005 --> 00:35:22,639
She is totally thinking
about her shopping list.
681
00:35:22,672 --> 00:35:24,038
Ha!
682
00:35:26,772 --> 00:35:28,172
Woo!
683
00:35:57,138 --> 00:35:58,105
Oh.
684
00:36:00,672 --> 00:36:01,639
Ok.
685
00:36:10,639 --> 00:36:13,273
I'm just gonna
see what-
686
00:36:13,305 --> 00:36:14,205
She's trying to take my money!
687
00:36:14,238 --> 00:36:16,205
No, I can't make change?
688
00:36:17,071 --> 00:36:18,138
No, you did not.
689
00:36:18,172 --> 00:36:19,472
What were you thinking?
690
00:36:19,505 --> 00:36:21,705
As pleasing as her
vagina thrusts were,
691
00:36:21,739 --> 00:36:23,971
it just-it was not
a $20 kind of happy.
692
00:36:24,005 --> 00:36:26,338
Welcome to the Pleasure
Palace Party.
693
00:36:26,372 --> 00:36:29,105
We got the dildos,
we got the vibrators,
694
00:36:29,138 --> 00:36:32,472
so look around,
don't be shy.
695
00:36:32,505 --> 00:36:35,038
If you wanna get to the top
of the mountain
696
00:36:35,071 --> 00:36:36,672
you gotta go equipped.
697
00:36:36,705 --> 00:36:38,005
Oh.
698
00:36:39,005 --> 00:36:42,273
I did learn one very important
thing at the strip club.
699
00:36:42,305 --> 00:36:44,205
If naked enough it
doesn't matter
700
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:45,672
if you can actually dance.
701
00:36:45,705 --> 00:36:47,971
Oh, I know what these are.
702
00:36:48,005 --> 00:36:49,639
People use these for meditating.
703
00:36:50,172 --> 00:36:52,672
No, those are Ben-Wa balls.
704
00:36:52,705 --> 00:36:54,305
50 Shades?
705
00:36:54,338 --> 00:36:55,305
Book two?
706
00:36:55,338 --> 00:36:56,971
Ben who?
707
00:36:57,505 --> 00:37:00,239
You take two of those,
you stick 'em up your lady,
708
00:37:00,273 --> 00:37:03,971
and just hold them for
a couple of hours, ok?
709
00:37:04,672 --> 00:37:06,172
Wait, what?
710
00:37:06,206 --> 00:37:06,872
Oh my god.
711
00:37:06,906 --> 00:37:08,672
Those are for Kegel exercises.
712
00:37:08,705 --> 00:37:10,971
You could do 'em in the car.
713
00:37:11,439 --> 00:37:13,639
Shit, I'm doing them right now.
714
00:37:13,672 --> 00:37:16,672
Experience intense natural
pleasure as each weighted ball
715
00:37:16,705 --> 00:37:18,472
rolls and moves with you
to give you
716
00:37:18,505 --> 00:37:22,206
a mind-blowing
internal massage.
717
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:27,639
Now, you're gonna sculpt
a banana into a penis
718
00:37:27,672 --> 00:37:29,605
with your teeth.
719
00:37:33,105 --> 00:37:34,038
Catch that!
720
00:37:34,071 --> 00:37:36,138
Oh yeah, get that banana.
721
00:37:36,173 --> 00:37:39,138
Well, I'll never look at a
banana the same way again.
722
00:37:39,539 --> 00:37:41,138
And neither will Paul.
723
00:37:41,405 --> 00:37:42,672
Sex toy party.
724
00:37:42,705 --> 00:37:43,672
Check.
725
00:38:04,505 --> 00:38:05,672
Wait, why'd you stop?
726
00:38:05,705 --> 00:38:08,305
Uh, nothing.
727
00:38:08,338 --> 00:38:09,405
Nothing.
728
00:38:09,439 --> 00:38:12,672
I think I just... I really need
to go to the bathroom.
729
00:38:12,705 --> 00:38:13,572
Oh my, well go!
730
00:38:13,605 --> 00:38:15,439
It's right down there.
731
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:20,672
I don't think I can
make it that far.
732
00:38:20,705 --> 00:38:21,639
Oh god.
733
00:38:21,672 --> 00:38:22,539
It's gonna come out.
734
00:38:22,572 --> 00:38:23,405
What is?
735
00:38:28,105 --> 00:38:29,038
Not a word.
736
00:38:29,305 --> 00:38:30,572
Not a word.
737
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,038
Uh-uh.
738
00:38:34,105 --> 00:38:35,239
Ok.
739
00:38:35,273 --> 00:38:35,971
Oh.
740
00:38:36,005 --> 00:38:36,672
Oh!
741
00:38:36,705 --> 00:38:38,038
I don't think I can bend over.
742
00:38:38,071 --> 00:38:39,239
Because there's a second one?
743
00:38:39,273 --> 00:38:39,672
Three.
744
00:38:39,705 --> 00:38:40,639
Oh!
745
00:38:40,672 --> 00:38:41,405
There are three more.
746
00:38:41,439 --> 00:38:43,605
I bought two boxes.
747
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:45,505
I see.
748
00:38:45,539 --> 00:38:46,505
For Kegels.
749
00:38:46,539 --> 00:38:48,038
Say no more.
750
00:38:50,639 --> 00:38:51,872
I need you to pick it up.
751
00:38:51,906 --> 00:38:54,038
You know, I didn't think there
were limits to our friendship.
752
00:38:54,071 --> 00:38:55,338
I realize it's just not true.
753
00:38:55,372 --> 00:38:56,605
Oh, this is not funny.
754
00:38:56,639 --> 00:38:57,472
It's not funny, ok?
755
00:38:57,505 --> 00:39:00,173
I only wore these
to a work function
756
00:39:00,206 --> 00:39:02,372
because I knew we would
be standing for three hours
757
00:39:02,405 --> 00:39:05,539
and, you know,
I wanted to tone.
758
00:39:07,639 --> 00:39:08,672
Stop!
759
00:39:08,705 --> 00:39:09,705
Stop, ok?
760
00:39:09,739 --> 00:39:11,705
If you make me laugh another
ball will pop out.
761
00:39:11,739 --> 00:39:13,439
Oh god, I'm so...
762
00:39:13,472 --> 00:39:14,572
I need help here. Please.
763
00:39:14,605 --> 00:39:16,139
Ok, ok. Let's go.
764
00:39:19,705 --> 00:39:20,439
What was that?
765
00:39:20,472 --> 00:39:21,639
I don't know.
766
00:39:21,672 --> 00:39:24,372
When I walk my legs just
sort of rub together
767
00:39:24,405 --> 00:39:25,672
and I'm already so, so-
768
00:39:25,705 --> 00:39:27,372
oh my god, I might-
769
00:39:27,405 --> 00:39:28,005
Hallelujah?
770
00:39:28,038 --> 00:39:28,739
Yeah.
771
00:39:28,772 --> 00:39:30,971
Ok, we're gonna
have to risk it.
772
00:39:31,005 --> 00:39:32,539
Lucy, if you do this
while holding my hand
773
00:39:32,572 --> 00:39:34,173
this friendship will
never be the same.
774
00:39:34,206 --> 00:39:36,005
Ladies, you look like
you're having a good night.
775
00:39:36,038 --> 00:39:37,539
Some of us more than others.
776
00:39:37,572 --> 00:39:38,539
Hi.
777
00:39:38,572 --> 00:39:39,572
What're you doing here?
778
00:39:39,605 --> 00:39:41,005
Oh, seeing my dad.
779
00:39:41,038 --> 00:39:43,206
He's on the board
with the trust.
780
00:39:43,605 --> 00:39:45,038
It's irrelevant.
781
00:39:45,072 --> 00:39:46,072
Now I'm seeing you.
782
00:39:46,106 --> 00:39:47,572
Have you met Priscilla?
783
00:39:47,605 --> 00:39:48,472
No, how are you?
784
00:39:48,505 --> 00:39:49,505
The leader of our quartet.
785
00:39:49,539 --> 00:39:52,505
My dear friend, who always
comes to my rescue.
786
00:39:52,539 --> 00:39:54,239
Oh, you need a lot of that?
787
00:39:54,273 --> 00:39:56,206
No, not at all,
but even still,
788
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,639
she's just always waiting
for the other ball to drop.
789
00:39:58,672 --> 00:40:00,938
I mean shoe.
790
00:40:02,705 --> 00:40:04,206
Is it hot in here?
791
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:05,173
Yeah, it is.
792
00:40:05,206 --> 00:40:06,372
Hmm.
793
00:40:06,405 --> 00:40:09,672
Um, I see someone that I...
794
00:40:09,705 --> 00:40:11,106
I don't see anyone.
795
00:40:11,139 --> 00:40:13,338
I'm just getting
out of the way.
796
00:40:16,039 --> 00:40:17,139
Are you tired?
797
00:40:17,173 --> 00:40:17,971
Am I tired?
798
00:40:18,005 --> 00:40:19,605
Yeah, you seem a bit
out of breath.
799
00:40:19,639 --> 00:40:20,605
Mmm-mmm.
800
00:40:20,639 --> 00:40:21,605
Mmm-mmm.
801
00:40:21,639 --> 00:40:24,639
No, I just sort of get
that way when I play.
802
00:40:24,672 --> 00:40:25,739
Oh, I get it.
803
00:40:25,772 --> 00:40:27,639
You're amazing.
804
00:40:29,305 --> 00:40:30,439
Sweet Jesus.
805
00:40:30,705 --> 00:40:32,072
Oh, what was that?
806
00:40:32,106 --> 00:40:32,605
Hmm?
807
00:40:32,639 --> 00:40:33,739
That.
808
00:40:33,772 --> 00:40:37,639
No, my back just gets that way
when I stand and play.
809
00:40:37,672 --> 00:40:38,938
Alright.
810
00:40:41,106 --> 00:40:42,206
Are you cold?
811
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:42,971
Mmmhmm.
812
00:40:43,006 --> 00:40:43,605
Yeah.
813
00:40:43,639 --> 00:40:44,672
Oh, let's get you moving.
814
00:40:44,705 --> 00:40:45,472
Oh.
815
00:40:45,505 --> 00:40:46,572
Come on.
816
00:40:51,505 --> 00:40:53,039
Ah.
817
00:40:53,472 --> 00:40:54,505
You ok?
818
00:40:54,539 --> 00:40:55,572
Yeah.
819
00:40:55,605 --> 00:40:57,106
Yeah.
820
00:40:57,139 --> 00:40:58,672
Just warming up a little.
821
00:41:00,705 --> 00:41:02,372
If I didn't know better,
822
00:41:02,405 --> 00:41:03,739
your lips look beautifully
deflated this evening.
823
00:41:08,206 --> 00:41:10,539
Women don't usually
find me funny.
824
00:41:11,039 --> 00:41:13,273
It's my pleasure.
825
00:41:13,539 --> 00:41:14,539
Truly.
826
00:41:15,439 --> 00:41:16,206
Oh.
827
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:18,305
Oh.
828
00:41:19,505 --> 00:41:20,972
Oh, what was that?
829
00:41:21,006 --> 00:41:21,672
What was what?
830
00:41:21,705 --> 00:41:23,006
Something just hit my foot.
831
00:41:23,039 --> 00:41:23,639
Is that a bird?
832
00:41:23,672 --> 00:41:24,639
There's a bird?
833
00:41:25,739 --> 00:41:27,572
Nope. Nope.
834
00:41:27,605 --> 00:41:28,705
Sorry, my mistake.
835
00:41:28,739 --> 00:41:29,439
Weird.
836
00:41:29,472 --> 00:41:30,505
Anyway.
837
00:41:30,539 --> 00:41:31,405
Hmm?
838
00:41:31,439 --> 00:41:32,405
I was thinking...
839
00:41:32,439 --> 00:41:32,972
Yeah?
840
00:41:33,006 --> 00:41:33,972
If you're not too busy-
841
00:41:34,006 --> 00:41:34,539
Never.
842
00:41:34,572 --> 00:41:35,338
Or too hot.
843
00:41:35,372 --> 00:41:35,972
Would you like to-
844
00:41:36,006 --> 00:41:36,672
Yes.
845
00:41:36,705 --> 00:41:37,439
Have dinner with me?
846
00:41:37,472 --> 00:41:38,739
Dear god, yes!
847
00:41:49,572 --> 00:41:51,372
So you call me up out of
the blue to ask me
848
00:41:51,405 --> 00:41:52,372
how good you were in bed?
849
00:41:52,405 --> 00:41:53,173
Mmmhmm.
850
00:41:53,206 --> 00:41:54,173
Out of a percentage
out of 100.
851
00:41:54,206 --> 00:41:58,305
But if you must, I will accept
a letter grade.
852
00:42:01,139 --> 00:42:02,505
Did you meet someone?
853
00:42:02,539 --> 00:42:03,372
What?
854
00:42:03,405 --> 00:42:04,305
No.
855
00:42:04,572 --> 00:42:05,372
No.
856
00:42:05,405 --> 00:42:06,173
I was just wondering-
857
00:42:06,206 --> 00:42:07,505
You did.
858
00:42:07,539 --> 00:42:10,572
You're seeing someone.
859
00:42:10,605 --> 00:42:11,705
Yeah, I am.
860
00:42:11,739 --> 00:42:12,505
I'm sorry.
861
00:42:12,539 --> 00:42:13,505
It's very new-
862
00:42:13,539 --> 00:42:14,139
No, no.
863
00:42:14,173 --> 00:42:15,672
It's a-I'm relieved, ok?
864
00:42:15,705 --> 00:42:21,405
'Cause I'm... I'm also seeing
someone else, too.
865
00:42:21,439 --> 00:42:22,273
You are?
866
00:42:22,305 --> 00:42:23,539
Yeah.
867
00:42:23,572 --> 00:42:24,206
Huh.
868
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:25,472
Wow.
869
00:42:27,739 --> 00:42:28,672
Halloween.
870
00:42:28,705 --> 00:42:29,239
Yeah.
871
00:42:29,273 --> 00:42:31,072
Right after we broke up.
872
00:42:31,106 --> 00:42:34,672
Oh, or is that how she dresses
all the time?
873
00:42:34,705 --> 00:42:36,439
That's funny.
874
00:42:36,472 --> 00:42:38,505
I miss your sense of humour.
875
00:42:39,305 --> 00:42:41,206
Is that-I'm sorry, is that bad
for me to say
876
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:43,338
that I miss something
about you?
877
00:42:45,572 --> 00:42:49,472
Uh... so, how are the-
how's your lists coming?
878
00:42:49,505 --> 00:42:51,505
Oh, very well, thank you.
879
00:42:51,539 --> 00:42:53,338
Yeah, after the porn thing
880
00:42:53,372 --> 00:42:56,039
I made a list that's
all about sex.
881
00:42:56,072 --> 00:43:02,039
And I recently went to both
a porn shop and a strip club.
882
00:43:04,539 --> 00:43:05,439
What?
883
00:43:05,472 --> 00:43:06,405
You-no, you're...
884
00:43:06,439 --> 00:43:07,739
you're hilarious.
885
00:43:07,772 --> 00:43:13,273
You see, this-you, us
being friends, this rocks.
886
00:43:13,305 --> 00:43:14,605
Yeah, it's great.
887
00:43:14,639 --> 00:43:17,405
Uh, but, sex with me.
888
00:43:17,439 --> 00:43:18,705
How was it?
889
00:43:18,739 --> 00:43:19,972
Oh, right.
890
00:43:20,006 --> 00:43:24,405
Um... it was fine.
891
00:43:24,439 --> 00:43:27,106
Jeff, literally choose
any letter.
892
00:43:27,139 --> 00:43:28,273
Ok, uh, geez.
893
00:43:28,305 --> 00:43:31,072
Uh... like A through F,
right?
894
00:43:31,106 --> 00:43:31,939
Yes.
895
00:43:32,572 --> 00:43:34,006
Ok.
896
00:43:34,039 --> 00:43:37,139
Uh, you are a...
897
00:43:41,372 --> 00:43:43,072
D.
898
00:43:43,106 --> 00:43:44,173
It's in room D.
899
00:43:44,206 --> 00:43:44,907
Are you sure?
900
00:43:44,939 --> 00:43:46,372
It doesn't say
"sex seminar".
901
00:43:46,405 --> 00:43:48,405
They're not gonna
call it that.
902
00:43:48,439 --> 00:43:49,372
It's this one.
903
00:43:49,405 --> 00:43:50,305
It has to be.
904
00:43:50,338 --> 00:43:51,605
Come on.
905
00:43:55,405 --> 00:44:00,106
Proficiency in sex is a must.
906
00:44:00,139 --> 00:44:05,106
It is the universal language
of humanity.
907
00:44:07,006 --> 00:44:08,039
You're tardy.
908
00:44:08,072 --> 00:44:08,705
Take a seat.
909
00:44:08,739 --> 00:44:09,739
Did you invite her?
910
00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:11,439
No.
911
00:44:11,472 --> 00:44:13,572
What could she have to learn?
912
00:44:14,873 --> 00:44:19,206
To walk around speaking slang
is to be ignorant to one's self.
913
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:20,072
What're you doing here?
914
00:44:20,106 --> 00:44:21,639
I just came here to do research
for you.
915
00:44:21,672 --> 00:44:25,405
Number one miscommunication
slang speakers make
916
00:44:25,439 --> 00:44:29,305
is to think of it as a
male-centric activity.
917
00:44:29,338 --> 00:44:31,072
That is, they think about
when men intercourse
918
00:44:31,106 --> 00:44:33,739
with women that it's
all about the guy.
919
00:44:33,773 --> 00:44:34,639
Wrong!
920
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:35,672
Wrong!!
921
00:44:35,705 --> 00:44:36,939
Wrong!
922
00:44:36,972 --> 00:44:40,273
From this moment on you will
refer to sexual communication
923
00:44:40,305 --> 00:44:45,405
as the gift that you will
give to only a worthy man,
924
00:44:45,439 --> 00:44:52,305
from you, the soon to be
supremely empowered woman!
925
00:45:00,273 --> 00:45:02,605
Oh, hit-oh wow,
you are tense.
926
00:45:02,639 --> 00:45:04,338
Yeah, I don't think
smacking it
927
00:45:04,372 --> 00:45:06,006
like that is part
of the technique.
928
00:45:06,039 --> 00:45:10,072
Kale, he left me for someone
his own age so I'm just-
929
00:45:10,106 --> 00:45:12,072
I can't deal with men right now.
930
00:45:12,106 --> 00:45:14,305
Oh, Nessa, I'm so sorry.
931
00:45:14,338 --> 00:45:16,273
Here.
932
00:45:16,305 --> 00:45:17,705
I'm gonna help you.
933
00:45:17,740 --> 00:45:19,539
Ok?
934
00:45:19,572 --> 00:45:23,439
It's like we're in Ghost
and you're my Patrick Swayze.
935
00:45:23,472 --> 00:45:27,273
Oh, of course you get
to be Demi Moore.
936
00:45:27,305 --> 00:45:29,338
It takes a village.
937
00:45:56,605 --> 00:45:59,472
Ok, so five weeks until my
audition for the Philharmonic-
938
00:45:59,505 --> 00:46:03,505
I'm not getting any better,
am I?
939
00:46:03,539 --> 00:46:06,106
No, you're really not.
940
00:46:06,139 --> 00:46:07,239
What?
941
00:46:07,273 --> 00:46:09,173
'Cause you're already a genius.
942
00:46:09,206 --> 00:46:11,206
Well, it's true,
and you know it.
943
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:17,106
You just gotta get
out of there.
944
00:46:17,139 --> 00:46:20,173
Did you know that the female
ferret will die if she goes
945
00:46:20,206 --> 00:46:22,405
into heat and can't find
a mate?
946
00:46:22,439 --> 00:46:24,972
Jeff was the rodent,
not you.
947
00:46:25,006 --> 00:46:26,206
What about the best man?
948
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:27,173
Groomsman.
949
00:46:27,206 --> 00:46:28,305
Hasn't he called?
950
00:46:28,338 --> 00:46:30,072
You really should ask Paul
what his story is because-
951
00:46:30,106 --> 00:46:32,305
No. No, he did.
952
00:46:32,338 --> 00:46:34,338
We're going out on Saturday.
953
00:46:34,372 --> 00:46:35,173
You are?!
954
00:46:35,206 --> 00:46:36,106
Oh.
955
00:46:36,139 --> 00:46:36,605
That's wonderful!
956
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:37,472
Oh.
957
00:46:37,505 --> 00:46:39,273
You're at a ten.
958
00:46:39,305 --> 00:46:40,505
Well, what are your plans?
959
00:46:40,539 --> 00:46:43,006
I mean, you could do
a dinner cruise.
960
00:46:43,039 --> 00:46:45,072
Oh, a hot air balloon.
961
00:46:45,106 --> 00:46:47,106
What is with you today?
962
00:46:47,139 --> 00:46:48,640
Nothing, I'm just happy
for you.
963
00:46:48,673 --> 00:46:51,539
Oh... what are those?
964
00:46:51,572 --> 00:46:53,239
Stan got me diamonds.
965
00:46:53,273 --> 00:46:54,539
Oh my god.
966
00:46:54,572 --> 00:46:56,273
Was it the seminar?
967
00:46:56,305 --> 00:46:59,305
I have a sex life again
after 27 years.
968
00:46:59,338 --> 00:47:02,439
Stan and I are doing it like
high school kids on prom night.
969
00:47:02,472 --> 00:47:04,972
Oh, so meaning it's over
in five minutes
970
00:47:05,006 --> 00:47:06,139
and you get nothing out of it.
971
00:47:06,173 --> 00:47:09,139
Except a bad reputation.
972
00:47:09,173 --> 00:47:10,572
Anyway, enough about me.
973
00:47:10,606 --> 00:47:12,239
Why aren't you thrilled
about the best man?
974
00:47:12,273 --> 00:47:13,372
I am.
975
00:47:13,405 --> 00:47:17,139
I... don't you think he's
a little out of my league?
976
00:47:17,173 --> 00:47:19,405
I'm not even gonna dignify
that question.
977
00:47:19,439 --> 00:47:22,039
You're just afraid to get back
on the horse.
978
00:47:22,072 --> 00:47:23,972
Lucy, it's like riding a bike.
979
00:47:24,006 --> 00:47:27,539
Or maybe a pogo stick.
980
00:47:27,572 --> 00:47:29,706
I'm just freaking out
because in my effort to be
981
00:47:29,740 --> 00:47:33,740
supremely empowered I insisted
on planning the date.
982
00:47:33,773 --> 00:47:37,039
And I've got nothing.
983
00:47:37,072 --> 00:47:40,239
Well, if you're interested,
Stan got us two tickets
984
00:47:40,273 --> 00:47:42,740
to the Dr. Becker taping
on Saturday night.
985
00:47:42,773 --> 00:47:44,072
VIP seats.
986
00:47:44,106 --> 00:47:45,405
Which is...?
987
00:47:45,439 --> 00:47:47,573
She's a sex expert.
988
00:47:47,606 --> 00:47:49,405
I showed Stan the list.
989
00:47:49,439 --> 00:47:51,206
He got very inspired.
990
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:53,439
Anyway, if I promised to make it
worth his while
991
00:47:53,472 --> 00:47:57,139
I'm sure I can get him
to stay at home.
992
00:47:57,173 --> 00:48:01,173
Ok, if I promise to take
the tickets
993
00:48:01,206 --> 00:48:02,972
do you promise to never talk
about you and Stan
994
00:48:03,006 --> 00:48:05,640
sexually communicating
ever again?
995
00:48:05,673 --> 00:48:06,372
Deal.
996
00:48:06,405 --> 00:48:07,305
Ok.
997
00:48:07,338 --> 00:48:08,439
Can I just tell you one thing?
998
00:48:08,472 --> 00:48:09,239
Alright, yes.
999
00:48:09,273 --> 00:48:11,006
I'm gonna get my labia
tightened.
1000
00:48:19,139 --> 00:48:21,972
What do you think about
oyster shooters?
1001
00:48:22,006 --> 00:48:27,039
Mmm, aren't oysters more
of a third date kind of food?
1002
00:48:27,072 --> 00:48:29,372
Yes, good point.
1003
00:48:29,405 --> 00:48:31,173
It's not like you're taking me
to a sex show.
1004
00:48:31,206 --> 00:48:33,972
Lecture by a progressive,
1005
00:48:34,006 --> 00:48:36,606
world renowned researcher
who went to Yale.
1006
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:40,173
Which is definitely
not Harvard.
1007
00:48:40,206 --> 00:48:42,305
But she happens to be discussing
human sexuality and I-
1008
00:48:42,338 --> 00:48:45,206
I know, I know, consult
an expert is on your list.
1009
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:47,006
I'm messing with you.
1010
00:48:47,039 --> 00:48:50,239
And just because we're going
to a lecture like this
1011
00:48:50,273 --> 00:48:53,273
doesn't make me a sure thing,
you know.
1012
00:48:53,305 --> 00:48:54,740
Me neither.
1013
00:48:54,773 --> 00:48:56,372
Good.
1014
00:48:56,405 --> 00:48:59,673
Wouldn't want you getting
the wrong idea.
1015
00:48:59,706 --> 00:49:02,472
What idea might that be?
1016
00:49:02,506 --> 00:49:05,439
I don't know, I just wouldn't
want you misinterpreting
1017
00:49:05,472 --> 00:49:11,706
my list, 'cause I'm really
not that kind of girl.
1018
00:49:11,740 --> 00:49:15,173
And what kind of girl
are you?
1019
00:49:15,206 --> 00:49:19,305
That's for me to know
and for you to wonder.
1020
00:49:22,540 --> 00:49:24,640
Ok, well now I'm gonna ask you
a bunch of things
1021
00:49:24,673 --> 00:49:27,206
so I can make a meaningful
snap judgement about you
1022
00:49:27,239 --> 00:49:28,206
without being distracted
1023
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:32,372
by all your charming,
attractive... you-ness.
1024
00:49:32,405 --> 00:49:34,972
Is this where you ask me
for my tax return?
1025
00:49:35,006 --> 00:49:36,473
'Cause I didn't bring it.
1026
00:49:36,506 --> 00:49:38,706
Uh, no.
1027
00:49:38,740 --> 00:49:41,473
I was just gonna ask you what
your favourite book was.
1028
00:49:41,506 --> 00:49:43,072
Um, sorry.
1029
00:49:43,106 --> 00:49:45,273
My last girlfriend did that
on the first date.
1030
00:49:45,305 --> 00:49:49,139
And you still ended up
dating her?
1031
00:49:49,173 --> 00:49:50,673
Oh.
1032
00:49:50,706 --> 00:49:51,740
Alright, yeah.
1033
00:49:51,773 --> 00:49:54,305
Your last girlfriend must have
been a supermodel.
1034
00:49:54,338 --> 00:49:56,640
She was a model, yes,
but super, no.
1035
00:49:56,673 --> 00:49:57,573
Definitely not.
1036
00:49:57,606 --> 00:49:59,139
And she's certainly not
Harvard material.
1037
00:49:59,173 --> 00:50:01,039
Ah.
1038
00:50:01,072 --> 00:50:05,173
Well, as an artist, I do not
require financial documentation.
1039
00:50:05,206 --> 00:50:07,106
Being well kept doesn't really
apply to me.
1040
00:50:07,139 --> 00:50:10,039
And yet you seem to be
kept very well.
1041
00:50:12,506 --> 00:50:13,440
That is corny.
1042
00:50:15,139 --> 00:50:16,972
Uh, let's do the books.
1043
00:50:17,006 --> 00:50:18,006
I have two.
1044
00:50:18,039 --> 00:50:19,039
I also have two favourites.
1045
00:50:19,072 --> 00:50:19,740
Ladies first.
1046
00:50:19,773 --> 00:50:20,640
Nope.
1047
00:50:20,673 --> 00:50:21,206
Huh?
1048
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:23,072
No. I asked you first.
1049
00:50:23,106 --> 00:50:25,139
Revealing book love is
a very personal thing.
1050
00:50:25,173 --> 00:50:26,139
I know.
1051
00:50:26,173 --> 00:50:29,972
That's why it's my stock first
date question.
1052
00:50:30,006 --> 00:50:33,139
It's gonna tell me everything
I need to know about you.
1053
00:50:33,173 --> 00:50:35,606
Are you sure you wanna know?
1054
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,573
Yeah, you're right.
1055
00:50:37,606 --> 00:50:40,338
It could be the end of something
good before it even starts.
1056
00:50:40,372 --> 00:50:43,573
Or it could be the start of
something good that doesn't end.
1057
00:50:45,540 --> 00:50:47,206
What the hell's
in this drink?
1058
00:50:49,606 --> 00:50:50,606
Ok, alright.
1059
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,273
Let's just state our books.
1060
00:50:52,305 --> 00:50:53,139
Yep.
1061
00:50:53,173 --> 00:50:55,006
And let's get this ship
to sinking, ok?
1062
00:50:55,039 --> 00:50:56,106
Please.
1063
00:50:56,139 --> 00:50:56,972
Alright.
1064
00:50:57,006 --> 00:50:57,972
Yeah. At the same time,
count of three?
1065
00:50:58,006 --> 00:50:58,406
Yes.
1066
00:50:58,440 --> 00:50:59,039
Alright.
1067
00:50:59,072 --> 00:50:59,606
Ok.
1068
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:01,440
One, two, three.
1069
00:51:01,473 --> 00:51:02,506
"Everything That Rises
Must Converge",
1070
00:51:02,540 --> 00:51:03,740
and "The Story of Your Life."
1071
00:51:03,773 --> 00:51:04,673
"The Story of Your Life"
1072
00:51:04,706 --> 00:51:07,305
and "Everything That Rises
Must Converge".
1073
00:51:08,173 --> 00:51:09,972
Well, you like them in
the wrong order.
1074
00:51:10,006 --> 00:51:11,972
Yeah. It's definitely
not gonna work.
1075
00:51:22,640 --> 00:51:24,506
This is the Dr. Becker show?
1076
00:51:24,540 --> 00:51:26,072
Yeah. Hi, welcome.
1077
00:51:26,106 --> 00:51:27,239
Hi.
1078
00:51:27,273 --> 00:51:31,606
Oh, uh, will Dr. Becker
be out soon?
1079
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,106
That is Dr. Becker.
1080
00:51:34,139 --> 00:51:34,972
Alright, let's get everybody
in their seats now-
1081
00:51:35,006 --> 00:51:39,106
Wait, she's a Magna Cum
Laude Yale PhD?
1082
00:51:39,139 --> 00:51:40,506
Follow me.
1083
00:51:40,540 --> 00:51:42,606
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
1084
00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:44,673
The show is about to start.
1085
00:51:44,706 --> 00:51:49,139
Dr. Becker, you're on
in three, two...
1086
00:51:51,006 --> 00:51:53,006
Ok.
1087
00:51:53,039 --> 00:51:55,106
I am so sorry.
I had no idea-
1088
00:51:55,139 --> 00:51:56,206
Are you kidding me?
1089
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:59,473
This is the most interesting
date I have ever gone on
1090
00:51:59,506 --> 00:52:00,506
in my entire life.
1091
00:52:00,540 --> 00:52:01,506
Welcome.
1092
00:52:01,540 --> 00:52:06,039
Tonight's guest is both
a true pleasure to have
1093
00:52:06,072 --> 00:52:09,339
and a departure from my usual
science-based approach
1094
00:52:09,373 --> 00:52:11,673
to sexual enlightenment.
1095
00:52:11,706 --> 00:52:14,473
Science was nothing like
this where I went to school.
1096
00:52:14,506 --> 00:52:15,740
Really?
1097
00:52:15,773 --> 00:52:18,006
I thought boarding schools were
known for sexual enlightenment.
1098
00:52:18,039 --> 00:52:20,972
Please help me welcome
Madam Swarovska,
1099
00:52:21,006 --> 00:52:23,106
world-renowned sexual psychic.
1100
00:52:25,006 --> 00:52:25,907
What's a sexual psychic?
1101
00:52:25,939 --> 00:52:28,206
Someone who can do
the pull and pray method
1102
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:30,106
of birth control?
1103
00:52:31,506 --> 00:52:32,506
You snorted.
1104
00:52:32,540 --> 00:52:33,740
Ok, I'm leaving.
1105
00:52:33,773 --> 00:52:35,706
That one.
1106
00:52:35,740 --> 00:52:37,173
She suffers.
1107
00:52:37,206 --> 00:52:38,206
Oh?
1108
00:52:43,006 --> 00:52:44,239
Oh.
1109
00:52:44,274 --> 00:52:45,506
Madame Swarovska,
1110
00:52:45,540 --> 00:52:48,173
can you explain to our audience
what it is that you're doing?
1111
00:52:48,206 --> 00:52:49,740
And me, would be nice.
1112
00:52:49,773 --> 00:52:53,206
I am assessing the aura.
1113
00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:57,006
Seeing what colours
surround her.
1114
00:52:57,039 --> 00:52:59,139
Sounds lovely.
Thank you.
1115
00:52:59,173 --> 00:53:02,440
For most people, yes.
For you, no.
1116
00:53:02,473 --> 00:53:05,206
For you, is grey.
1117
00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:06,606
Grey?
1118
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:08,706
Are you saying that
she's sexually...
1119
00:53:08,740 --> 00:53:10,006
Grey!
1120
00:53:10,039 --> 00:53:11,473
Yes.
1121
00:53:11,506 --> 00:53:15,972
Well, lucky for me
neutrals are in for fall.
1122
00:53:16,006 --> 00:53:17,972
You know, we can go
like five minutes ago.
1123
00:53:18,006 --> 00:53:19,006
No, no, this is awesome.
1124
00:53:19,039 --> 00:53:19,873
This is great.
1125
00:53:19,907 --> 00:53:22,006
How about we get you on
stage, Miss...?
1126
00:53:22,039 --> 00:53:23,440
Uh, Lu...
1127
00:53:24,740 --> 00:53:26,274
Lulu-bell.
1128
00:53:27,306 --> 00:53:29,740
Well, come on up
here, Lulu-bell,
1129
00:53:29,773 --> 00:53:32,440
so Madame Swarovska
can read you.
1130
00:53:32,473 --> 00:53:33,706
Come on.
1131
00:53:34,706 --> 00:53:36,373
You're safe.
1132
00:53:39,740 --> 00:53:45,506
Yes, the grey one is in deep
struggle with the sex.
1133
00:53:45,540 --> 00:53:47,106
I often discuss a condition
1134
00:53:47,139 --> 00:53:49,972
called sexual attention
deficit disorder.
1135
00:53:50,006 --> 00:53:51,306
SADD.
1136
00:53:51,339 --> 00:53:53,274
Sad, for short.
1137
00:53:53,306 --> 00:53:55,506
Which involves frequent
mental wanderings
1138
00:53:55,540 --> 00:53:59,072
of a non-sexual nature
during intercourse.
1139
00:53:59,106 --> 00:54:00,240
Might that be what-
1140
00:54:00,274 --> 00:54:03,673
Yes, but also lack
of experience.
1141
00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:10,540
Oh, trust me, I-I have plenty
of experience.
1142
00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:15,139
The cards say no.
1143
00:54:15,174 --> 00:54:16,440
No, I assure you.
1144
00:54:16,473 --> 00:54:18,139
I know what I'm doing.
1145
00:54:18,174 --> 00:54:19,673
The cards say no.
1146
00:54:23,039 --> 00:54:24,573
Oh, I see.
1147
00:54:24,606 --> 00:54:28,640
You are very old when
you are first having sex.
1148
00:54:28,673 --> 00:54:30,606
Surely you mean old enough.
1149
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:32,606
No, I mean old.
1150
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,274
Oh.
1151
00:54:34,972 --> 00:54:39,174
Oh, old is why you are only
having sex with four people?
1152
00:54:39,207 --> 00:54:41,006
Is that true?
1153
00:54:41,039 --> 00:54:42,440
Four?
1154
00:54:42,473 --> 00:54:43,373
No.
1155
00:54:43,406 --> 00:54:44,207
No?
1156
00:54:44,240 --> 00:54:44,873
Well, yeah.
1157
00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:46,240
But what's wrong with that?
1158
00:54:46,274 --> 00:54:48,573
Oh, one does not count.
1159
00:54:48,606 --> 00:54:55,606
It ends uh, how you say...
prematurely.
1160
00:54:59,606 --> 00:55:01,673
Oh, that one looks promising.
1161
00:55:01,706 --> 00:55:05,673
Yeah, when is upright yes,
but for you is reverse.
1162
00:55:05,706 --> 00:55:06,506
Oh.
1163
00:55:06,540 --> 00:55:08,606
Oh.
1164
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:09,972
Grey one.
1165
00:55:10,006 --> 00:55:10,773
Yeah?
1166
00:55:10,807 --> 00:55:13,072
You're not having
the big booms?
1167
00:55:13,106 --> 00:55:15,406
What?
1168
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:18,240
The big booms.
1169
00:55:18,274 --> 00:55:20,673
The rolling thunder.
1170
00:55:20,706 --> 00:55:23,207
The crotch magic,
you know?
1171
00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:25,240
Like, oh yeah, baby.
1172
00:55:25,274 --> 00:55:26,072
I love it!
1173
00:55:26,107 --> 00:55:26,939
You know?
1174
00:55:26,972 --> 00:55:28,640
Like, woah Nealy gets
really crazy,
1175
00:55:28,673 --> 00:55:30,039
that kind of sex.
1176
00:55:30,072 --> 00:55:32,640
Like uh, like magic time.
1177
00:55:32,673 --> 00:55:33,972
Like crotch magic.
1178
00:55:34,006 --> 00:55:35,473
Blast it off.
1179
00:55:35,506 --> 00:55:37,306
Blast up inside, you know?
1180
00:55:37,339 --> 00:55:38,706
I can't handle it anymore!
1181
00:55:38,740 --> 00:55:40,339
Like... woo!
1182
00:55:40,373 --> 00:55:41,339
This type of thing.
1183
00:55:41,373 --> 00:55:42,573
What-how you call it?
1184
00:55:42,606 --> 00:55:46,606
She sees... um,
you don't orgasm.
1185
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:48,540
I got it. Thanks.
1186
00:55:48,573 --> 00:55:51,606
Oh, but you're giving booms
to yourself sometime,
1187
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:52,573
that's good.
1188
00:55:52,606 --> 00:55:53,706
That's ok.
1189
00:55:53,740 --> 00:55:54,673
That's something, huh?
1190
00:55:58,006 --> 00:55:58,640
That's nice.
1191
00:55:58,673 --> 00:56:00,573
You keep that going, ok?
1192
00:56:01,339 --> 00:56:04,440
Now I'm going to see about
the one you come here with.
1193
00:56:04,473 --> 00:56:05,306
This guy over here.
1194
00:56:05,339 --> 00:56:06,174
Oh, oh.
1195
00:56:06,207 --> 00:56:07,573
Hey, now.
1196
00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:14,174
This is really lucky.
1197
00:56:14,207 --> 00:56:16,540
The devil's card in reverse
is representing
1198
00:56:16,573 --> 00:56:19,540
like breaking freedom
from restraint.
1199
00:56:19,573 --> 00:56:23,306
This guy is going to give
you the big booms!
1200
00:56:24,706 --> 00:56:26,073
Yes.
1201
00:56:27,573 --> 00:56:31,573
Isn't that amazing how accurate
the Madame is?
1202
00:56:44,706 --> 00:56:50,040
Well uh, thank you again
for a uh, revealing night.
1203
00:56:50,073 --> 00:56:54,339
Once again, she was so not right
about anything she said.
1204
00:56:54,373 --> 00:56:55,040
No.
1205
00:56:55,073 --> 00:56:55,540
By the way.
1206
00:56:55,573 --> 00:56:56,640
She's crazy.
1207
00:56:56,673 --> 00:56:58,440
She said I rocked your world
when we barely even know
1208
00:56:58,473 --> 00:57:00,506
each other, let alone have had,
you know, sex.
1209
00:57:00,540 --> 00:57:01,640
Right?
1210
00:57:01,673 --> 00:57:02,573
I know.
1211
00:57:02,606 --> 00:57:03,840
Like, what was she even saying?
1212
00:57:03,873 --> 00:57:09,240
That just me being close to you
I get like all... I don't know.
1213
00:57:09,274 --> 00:57:10,073
Sorry, no.
1214
00:57:10,107 --> 00:57:13,740
Look how in control I am
around you.
1215
00:57:13,773 --> 00:57:15,706
Right.
1216
00:57:16,740 --> 00:57:18,373
Anyway, yeah, she was wrong.
1217
00:57:18,406 --> 00:57:20,306
She was crazy wrong.
1218
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:22,406
Who knows?
1219
00:57:25,473 --> 00:57:28,540
Anyway, twice again,
for the official record,
1220
00:57:28,573 --> 00:57:31,373
I had absolutely no idea
about tonight
1221
00:57:31,406 --> 00:57:35,174
and I am so, so, so sorry.
1222
00:57:35,207 --> 00:57:36,673
I'm really sorry.
1223
00:57:36,706 --> 00:57:38,673
I'm not.
1224
00:57:46,140 --> 00:57:47,007
Goodnight.
1225
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,373
Yeah.
1226
00:57:48,406 --> 00:57:50,007
I swear you're going
to get me fired.
1227
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:52,540
Or even worse,
assigned to awful jobs.
1228
00:57:52,573 --> 00:57:55,440
Grant's a pretty big deal
at the firm, you know.
1229
00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:58,606
And you're a big deal to us,
Paul, but this isn't about you.
1230
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:00,140
Yet.
1231
00:58:00,174 --> 00:58:02,440
The psychic didn't
say anything positive?
1232
00:58:02,473 --> 00:58:04,274
Just that I wouldn't end
up alone.
1233
00:58:04,306 --> 00:58:07,107
Well, that could just mean
she thinks you'll get a cat.
1234
00:58:07,140 --> 00:58:07,907
What?
1235
00:58:07,940 --> 00:58:09,174
Ok, let me paint a picture
for you.
1236
00:58:09,207 --> 00:58:13,506
If Grant is the devil and not
even he can get lucky with her,
1237
00:58:13,540 --> 00:58:16,207
then perhaps poor Luce
is destined to end up
1238
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,673
with a litter of cats.
1239
00:58:18,706 --> 00:58:20,274
But seriously,
let's get back on point.
1240
00:58:20,306 --> 00:58:21,540
How did you two leave things?
1241
00:58:21,573 --> 00:58:23,274
Am I gonna have to avoid him
at the office?
1242
00:58:23,306 --> 00:58:26,440
Can't hear you.
I'm shopping.
1243
00:58:26,473 --> 00:58:29,040
Luce, quick question.
1244
00:58:29,073 --> 00:58:31,274
Isn't this the section for girls
who do get kissed?
1245
00:58:31,306 --> 00:58:32,073
Hey.
1246
00:58:32,107 --> 00:58:33,207
Just so you know,
1247
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:34,540
he said he was gonna call this
weekend to make plans.
1248
00:58:34,573 --> 00:58:35,540
And no, I'm in
the right section.
1249
00:58:35,573 --> 00:58:36,373
Mmmhmm.
1250
00:58:36,406 --> 00:58:39,673
Guys, I have to tell
you something.
1251
00:58:39,706 --> 00:58:41,740
Good god, you're not preg-
how?
1252
00:58:41,773 --> 00:58:42,573
What?
1253
00:58:42,606 --> 00:58:43,207
No.
1254
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:44,440
The question would be who,
1255
00:58:44,473 --> 00:58:47,406
since I can't even seem to get
a guy past the front porch.
1256
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:48,406
You know those jeans
1257
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:52,140
that make my ass look like
a sorority girl's?
1258
00:58:53,773 --> 00:58:55,274
Here?
1259
00:58:55,306 --> 00:58:56,373
We're going to
the women's section.
1260
00:58:56,406 --> 00:58:57,740
Nope, not the women's.
1261
00:58:57,773 --> 00:58:58,606
Men's?
1262
00:58:58,640 --> 00:58:59,473
That's brilliant.
1263
00:58:59,506 --> 00:59:00,473
Right here.
1264
00:59:00,506 --> 00:59:02,306
In maternity.
1265
00:59:02,973 --> 00:59:07,540
Look, they have this stretchy
stuff that goes over the stomach
1266
00:59:07,573 --> 00:59:11,240
and just kinda smooths
everything out.
1267
00:59:13,706 --> 00:59:15,673
I know, you think
I'm pathetic.
1268
00:59:15,706 --> 00:59:16,773
No, no.
1269
00:59:16,807 --> 00:59:19,174
I'm just trying to figure out
my size in women's.
1270
00:59:35,107 --> 00:59:38,040
Who knew strings could accompany
threesome-type sex so well?
1271
00:59:38,073 --> 00:59:39,540
I say we rehearse like this
all the time.
1272
00:59:40,573 --> 00:59:42,506
I'm so surprised you're still
doing the list.
1273
00:59:42,540 --> 00:59:43,573
I'm psyched.
1274
00:59:43,606 --> 00:59:46,274
I've been labelled
sexually grey.
1275
00:59:46,306 --> 00:59:47,740
It kinda solidified the mission.
1276
00:59:47,773 --> 00:59:49,673
And I've been waiting for Grant
to call me all week
1277
00:59:49,706 --> 00:59:53,207
so I figured I might as well
just watch my 25 films.
1278
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:54,440
Why are you waiting
for him to call?
1279
00:59:54,473 --> 00:59:58,073
Why don't you call him?
1280
00:59:58,107 --> 01:00:00,207
Anyway, so I had one of these
on when it came time
1281
01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:02,339
to practise one day, so...
1282
01:00:02,373 --> 01:00:03,274
Well, if it means anything,
1283
01:00:03,306 --> 01:00:05,540
I've never heard you play
this good, girl.
1284
01:00:05,573 --> 01:00:06,773
Don't be ridiculous.
1285
01:00:06,807 --> 01:00:11,007
A month until the Philharmonic
auditions remember us when.
1286
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:12,040
Mmmhmm.
1287
01:00:18,073 --> 01:00:20,007
Oh my god.
It's him.
1288
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:20,473
The best man?
1289
01:00:20,506 --> 01:00:21,540
Yeah.
1290
01:00:21,573 --> 01:00:22,506
Do I-what,
do I answer?
1291
01:00:22,540 --> 01:00:23,140
No!
1292
01:00:23,174 --> 01:00:25,040
No.
1293
01:00:25,073 --> 01:00:26,373
Yes.
1294
01:00:26,406 --> 01:00:28,174
I don't know.
1295
01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:29,506
Ok, answer it or I will.
1296
01:00:29,540 --> 01:00:31,339
I already suffered through
high school once.
1297
01:00:31,373 --> 01:00:32,373
Ok.
1298
01:00:33,107 --> 01:00:34,240
Ok.
1299
01:00:35,573 --> 01:00:36,606
Hey.
1300
01:00:36,640 --> 01:00:38,107
Hey yourself.
It's Grant.
1301
01:00:38,140 --> 01:00:39,640
Listen, sorry I haven't
called you...
1302
01:00:39,673 --> 01:00:41,506
"Hey"? The man of your dreams
calls and you say "hey"?
1303
01:00:41,540 --> 01:00:43,140
Shh!
1304
01:00:43,174 --> 01:00:45,007
Uh, me shush?
1305
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:46,406
No, sorry.
Not you.
1306
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:47,473
I'm with the quartet.
1307
01:00:47,506 --> 01:00:49,207
Rehearsing some porn!
1308
01:00:50,274 --> 01:00:51,339
Did she say you're
watching porn?
1309
01:00:51,373 --> 01:00:52,040
No.
1310
01:00:52,073 --> 01:00:52,673
No, she did not.
1311
01:00:52,706 --> 01:00:54,506
She said "horn".
1312
01:00:54,540 --> 01:00:57,240
Yeah, we're adding a French horn
to the group.
1313
01:00:57,274 --> 01:00:59,440
Ah, well, I can't help you
with that.
1314
01:00:59,473 --> 01:01:02,673
So um, you're working
on a Saturday?
1315
01:01:02,706 --> 01:01:03,540
Uh, listen.
1316
01:01:03,573 --> 01:01:04,673
Sorry I haven't called
all week.
1317
01:01:04,706 --> 01:01:06,274
I've been bloody busy
in non-stop meetings and-
1318
01:01:06,306 --> 01:01:07,373
He was out
of town all week.
1319
01:01:07,406 --> 01:01:08,373
That's it.
1320
01:01:08,406 --> 01:01:09,274
Woohoo!
1321
01:01:09,306 --> 01:01:10,673
Oh, thank god.
1322
01:01:10,706 --> 01:01:12,007
There it is.
1323
01:01:12,406 --> 01:01:13,339
Oh!
1324
01:01:14,774 --> 01:01:15,540
Oh, Paul, your ass.
1325
01:01:15,573 --> 01:01:16,406
Turn it down!
1326
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:18,339
Turn it down!
1327
01:01:19,473 --> 01:01:21,406
Sorry, Nessa just stubbed
her toe.
1328
01:01:21,440 --> 01:01:22,339
Why me?
1329
01:01:24,473 --> 01:01:25,406
Anyway, look.
1330
01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:27,073
I know it's last minute
but I was thinking,
1331
01:01:27,107 --> 01:01:28,406
if you wanted to go out-
1332
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:29,339
I'd love to.
1333
01:01:29,373 --> 01:01:31,373
Yes. Whatever it is.
1334
01:01:31,406 --> 01:01:32,274
So sorry!
1335
01:01:33,506 --> 01:01:35,373
Not sorry.
1336
01:02:15,473 --> 01:02:16,473
Ok. Ok.
1337
01:02:16,506 --> 01:02:17,540
Here we go.
1338
01:02:17,573 --> 01:02:19,107
Wait. Wait.
1339
01:02:19,140 --> 01:02:20,339
What?
1340
01:02:34,306 --> 01:02:34,741
Mmm-mmm.
1341
01:02:34,774 --> 01:02:35,274
No?
1342
01:02:35,306 --> 01:02:36,240
You want me to stop?
1343
01:02:36,274 --> 01:02:37,674
What? No. Go.
1344
01:02:37,707 --> 01:02:38,207
No?
1345
01:02:38,240 --> 01:02:40,707
As in it's a no go?
1346
01:02:40,741 --> 01:02:42,040
No. No. Keep going.
1347
01:03:27,506 --> 01:03:29,641
The perfect pants
for you two.
1348
01:03:43,107 --> 01:03:44,240
Hi.
1349
01:03:44,274 --> 01:03:45,040
Hey.
1350
01:03:45,073 --> 01:03:46,306
Sorry, I didn't mean
to wake you.
1351
01:03:46,339 --> 01:03:48,306
Um, I was just gonna...
1352
01:03:49,339 --> 01:03:51,274
Oh.
1353
01:03:51,306 --> 01:03:52,107
Ok.
1354
01:04:02,007 --> 01:04:03,174
I'll call you.
1355
01:04:04,107 --> 01:04:05,339
Yeah.
1356
01:04:19,674 --> 01:04:20,274
Oh my god.
1357
01:04:20,306 --> 01:04:21,306
No! No!
1358
01:04:21,339 --> 01:04:24,140
Grant! Wait!
1359
01:04:24,174 --> 01:04:25,207
Shit.
1360
01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:27,040
No. No.
1361
01:04:27,073 --> 01:04:28,540
Grant! Wait!
1362
01:04:29,306 --> 01:04:32,339
Grant? Grant!
1363
01:04:32,373 --> 01:04:36,073
If it's about the porn
I can quit any time!
1364
01:04:38,506 --> 01:04:39,306
What?
1365
01:04:39,339 --> 01:04:42,240
So I watch porn.
Big fucking deal.
1366
01:04:42,274 --> 01:04:43,540
As long as it's consensual.
1367
01:04:43,574 --> 01:04:45,440
No judgement.
1368
01:04:57,339 --> 01:04:59,207
Stupid.
1369
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,240
Useless!
1370
01:05:02,774 --> 01:05:05,506
This tastes like crap!
1371
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:08,306
Disgusting!
1372
01:05:08,339 --> 01:05:09,506
Ugh!
1373
01:05:09,541 --> 01:05:10,707
Don't even work!
1374
01:05:12,140 --> 01:05:13,541
Ugh!
1375
01:05:18,473 --> 01:05:20,373
God, I can't believe this.
1376
01:05:21,107 --> 01:05:22,240
And you.
1377
01:06:23,073 --> 01:06:24,641
Stupid.
1378
01:06:44,507 --> 01:06:47,607
Ugh, Phil's penthouse
is just so gorge.
1379
01:06:47,641 --> 01:06:50,107
My boyfriend and I walked in
and he was all
1380
01:06:50,140 --> 01:06:52,574
"this place owns the skyline".
1381
01:06:52,607 --> 01:06:54,306
Well, it did take us about
a year to complete
1382
01:06:54,339 --> 01:06:56,107
so you can imagine
what it cost.
1383
01:06:56,140 --> 01:06:57,973
I don't do numbers.
1384
01:06:58,007 --> 01:07:00,007
Me neither, but like how much?
1385
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:02,073
Anyway, if you thought
the penthouse is impressive
1386
01:07:02,107 --> 01:07:05,373
you really ought to see
his place in the Hamptons.
1387
01:07:05,407 --> 01:07:07,107
I can't wait to own multiple
homes in
1388
01:07:07,140 --> 01:07:08,641
which I don't actually live.
1389
01:07:08,674 --> 01:07:11,174
My boyfriend and I
love the Hams.
1390
01:07:11,207 --> 01:07:13,140
The Hams?
1391
01:07:13,174 --> 01:07:14,339
Is that what we're calling
it now?
1392
01:07:14,373 --> 01:07:16,040
Only people who live there.
1393
01:07:16,073 --> 01:07:18,339
Or people who know people,
like my boyfriend does.
1394
01:07:18,373 --> 01:07:20,140
You guys need to meet him.
1395
01:07:20,174 --> 01:07:21,107
He'll be here in a minute.
1396
01:07:21,140 --> 01:07:21,973
Mmm.
1397
01:07:22,007 --> 01:07:23,339
You know what? I want
some more wine.
1398
01:07:23,373 --> 01:07:24,741
In fact, I'll take
an I.V. of it.
1399
01:07:24,774 --> 01:07:25,474
Noted.
1400
01:07:25,507 --> 01:07:26,339
Two I.V.'s.
1401
01:07:26,373 --> 01:07:28,641
Nessa, you've gotta slow
your roll, love.
1402
01:07:28,674 --> 01:07:31,107
Um, why are you guys here,
again?
1403
01:07:31,140 --> 01:07:33,274
Paul, he's doing
the panel thing.
1404
01:07:33,306 --> 01:07:37,674
Yeah, because he has actual
things to say.
1405
01:07:37,707 --> 01:07:39,274
Sorry.
1406
01:07:39,306 --> 01:07:42,073
Um, there is a designer
on the panel
1407
01:07:42,107 --> 01:07:45,007
and Paul wants
to ask her out.
1408
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:47,040
He makes us act like
we're interested in him
1409
01:07:47,073 --> 01:07:49,339
so he can, like,
get girls.
1410
01:07:49,374 --> 01:07:51,674
Yeah, it's legitimizing.
1411
01:07:51,707 --> 01:07:53,973
Once I make partner I probably
won't need it.
1412
01:07:54,007 --> 01:07:55,140
He's right.
1413
01:07:55,174 --> 01:07:56,407
My boyfriend's a partner.
1414
01:07:56,441 --> 01:07:57,407
It's attractive.
1415
01:07:57,441 --> 01:07:59,707
I mean, my boyfriend's
already attractive.
1416
01:07:59,741 --> 01:08:00,973
My boyfriend.
1417
01:08:01,007 --> 01:08:02,073
My boyfriend.
1418
01:08:02,107 --> 01:08:02,973
My boyfriend.
1419
01:08:03,007 --> 01:08:03,741
My boyfriend.
1420
01:08:03,774 --> 01:08:05,073
My boyfriend.
1421
01:08:05,107 --> 01:08:06,240
My boyfriend.
1422
01:08:06,274 --> 01:08:07,374
My boyfriend.
1423
01:08:07,407 --> 01:08:08,541
My boyfriend.
1424
01:08:08,574 --> 01:08:09,973
Maybe you should get
a shirt that says
1425
01:08:10,007 --> 01:08:11,174
"I have a boyfriend"
1426
01:08:11,207 --> 01:08:14,040
and then you wouldn't have
to tell us every five seconds.
1427
01:08:14,073 --> 01:08:14,641
Ok, refill.
1428
01:08:14,674 --> 01:08:16,107
Coming right up.
1429
01:08:16,140 --> 01:08:17,507
I didn't mean to make
you jealous.
1430
01:08:17,541 --> 01:08:18,306
Of what?
1431
01:08:18,340 --> 01:08:19,306
You know what?
1432
01:08:19,340 --> 01:08:20,374
This is a good time to go.
1433
01:08:20,407 --> 01:08:21,174
I'm good.
1434
01:08:21,207 --> 01:08:23,107
Oh, there he is.
1435
01:08:31,507 --> 01:08:33,674
Ugh.
1436
01:09:22,574 --> 01:09:24,507
I'm all out of sausage.
1437
01:09:24,541 --> 01:09:27,940
I hope you brought your hot,
throbbing co-
1438
01:09:30,574 --> 01:09:33,007
What am I doing?
1439
01:10:34,007 --> 01:10:35,275
Thank you.
1440
01:10:35,307 --> 01:10:37,007
We'll be in touch.
1441
01:10:38,607 --> 01:10:40,140
It's that way.
1442
01:10:47,707 --> 01:10:49,208
Hey, Priscilla, it's me.
1443
01:10:49,241 --> 01:10:51,340
So the audition went great.
1444
01:10:51,374 --> 01:10:52,541
I did it!
1445
01:10:52,574 --> 01:10:55,073
I finally crossed something
big off one of my lists.
1446
01:10:55,107 --> 01:10:57,241
Ah, I feel amazing.
1447
01:11:12,275 --> 01:11:14,040
Jeff's getting married?
1448
01:11:14,073 --> 01:11:16,275
And he's inviting you?
1449
01:11:16,307 --> 01:11:18,541
And this is his idea of
a wedding invitation?
1450
01:11:18,574 --> 01:11:20,340
Talk about no taste.
1451
01:11:20,374 --> 01:11:21,507
It gets worse.
1452
01:11:21,541 --> 01:11:22,641
Don't even.
1453
01:11:22,674 --> 01:11:24,107
He wants you to play
at the wedding.
1454
01:11:24,140 --> 01:11:25,107
Us.
1455
01:11:25,141 --> 01:11:25,674
Yeah.
1456
01:11:25,707 --> 01:11:26,607
He wants the quartet.
1457
01:11:26,641 --> 01:11:27,973
Well, we're not doing that.
1458
01:11:28,007 --> 01:11:29,073
And I don't even understand,
1459
01:11:29,107 --> 01:11:30,607
why would he want you to be
there at the wedding?
1460
01:11:30,641 --> 01:11:31,841
Maybe he feels guilty.
1461
01:11:31,874 --> 01:11:34,973
I don't know, maybe he feels
like he's doing me a big favour.
1462
01:11:35,007 --> 01:11:36,107
How is this a favour?
1463
01:11:36,141 --> 01:11:37,441
The girl's family is loaded.
1464
01:11:37,474 --> 01:11:40,441
Ok, so we're absolutely
doing it.
1465
01:11:40,474 --> 01:11:42,340
But Jeff is a tool.
1466
01:11:42,374 --> 01:11:44,208
And not a sharp one.
1467
01:11:45,374 --> 01:11:46,641
Do you know, Luce, when uh,
1468
01:11:46,674 --> 01:11:50,507
when Sharon left me
for Jennifer...
1469
01:11:50,541 --> 01:11:53,175
it was more the rejection
that hurt.
1470
01:11:53,208 --> 01:11:54,574
Not necessarily her leaving.
1471
01:11:54,607 --> 01:11:57,407
Honestly, I don't really care
about Jeff leaving.
1472
01:11:57,441 --> 01:11:58,674
And who wants to have
super lame sex
1473
01:11:58,707 --> 01:12:00,441
the rest of their life, anyway?
1474
01:12:00,474 --> 01:12:01,541
Uh, I do.
1475
01:12:01,574 --> 01:12:05,707
Lame sex, virtual sex,
the faint possibility of sex,
1476
01:12:05,741 --> 01:12:07,741
any of which would be more
than I'm currently getting.
1477
01:12:07,774 --> 01:12:09,574
I can't even get my hand
to have sex with me anymore.
1478
01:12:09,607 --> 01:12:12,040
Yeah, well, maybe if you dressed
up your hand like a redhead
1479
01:12:12,073 --> 01:12:14,574
who cooks, loves musicals,
and has a PhD...
1480
01:12:14,607 --> 01:12:16,641
I'm sad to report
that my standards
1481
01:12:16,674 --> 01:12:18,674
have dropped somewhat
significantly.
1482
01:12:18,707 --> 01:12:19,507
Oh yeah?
1483
01:12:19,541 --> 01:12:21,040
Well, what is your type
these days?
1484
01:12:21,073 --> 01:12:22,541
Willing.
1485
01:12:23,674 --> 01:12:24,541
And I've got to go to Vegas
for a bachelor party.
1486
01:12:24,574 --> 01:12:27,208
I swear, all those boobs
I can't touch
1487
01:12:27,241 --> 01:12:28,674
might just be the end of me.
1488
01:12:28,707 --> 01:12:30,641
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
no one over the age of two
1489
01:12:30,674 --> 01:12:33,607
has ever died
from lack of boob.
1490
01:12:33,641 --> 01:12:34,441
That's a valid point.
1491
01:12:34,474 --> 01:12:36,707
Wait a second,
when are you leaving?
1492
01:12:36,741 --> 01:12:37,607
For Vegas?
1493
01:12:37,641 --> 01:12:38,607
Yeah.
1494
01:12:38,641 --> 01:12:40,674
Tomorrow, why?
1495
01:12:40,707 --> 01:12:42,307
Because I need to finish
my list
1496
01:12:42,340 --> 01:12:43,641
and there's this Vegas thing
on there.
1497
01:12:43,674 --> 01:12:45,607
No, no, no, you need
to finish it
1498
01:12:45,641 --> 01:12:47,007
because Jeff's getting married.
1499
01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:47,973
No, I-
1500
01:12:48,007 --> 01:12:49,208
Besides, Grant's
gonna be there.
1501
01:12:49,241 --> 01:12:50,607
I don't care if Grant's
gonna be there.
1502
01:12:50,641 --> 01:12:53,108
I just need to finish my list,
alright?
1503
01:12:53,141 --> 01:12:55,307
And you're gonna help me.
1504
01:12:55,340 --> 01:12:56,340
So just embarrassing me
1505
01:12:56,374 --> 01:12:58,474
at the strip club wasn't enough
for you, was it?
1506
01:12:58,507 --> 01:12:59,674
This'll be so much better.
1507
01:12:59,707 --> 01:13:00,507
Will it be, though?
1508
01:13:00,541 --> 01:13:01,541
Yeah.
1509
01:13:02,407 --> 01:13:04,241
Could I get more needles
in here, please?
1510
01:13:04,275 --> 01:13:05,574
Tensing up!
1511
01:13:41,641 --> 01:13:43,307
You need to have sex.
1512
01:13:43,340 --> 01:13:45,141
And I have to finish
my list.
1513
01:13:45,175 --> 01:13:46,607
So it's a win-win.
1514
01:13:46,641 --> 01:13:47,774
Um, for losers.
1515
01:13:47,808 --> 01:13:50,507
So I'm not sure we come out
on the right side of this.
1516
01:13:50,541 --> 01:13:51,674
Ok.
1517
01:13:51,707 --> 01:13:54,275
Here is who's working today.
1518
01:13:56,340 --> 01:13:57,241
Nope.
1519
01:13:57,275 --> 01:13:58,275
Can't do it.
1520
01:13:58,307 --> 01:13:58,973
Do you know what?
1521
01:13:59,008 --> 01:14:00,208
They're probably all diseased.
1522
01:14:00,241 --> 01:14:02,275
No, you're more likely to catch
something in a sorority house.
1523
01:14:02,307 --> 01:14:03,507
See?
1524
01:14:03,541 --> 01:14:06,108
Here is a whole information
sheet about their weekly tests,
1525
01:14:06,141 --> 01:14:08,074
how they check each customer
for symptoms,
1526
01:14:08,108 --> 01:14:11,541
and clean everyone's genitals
with anti-bacterial-
1527
01:14:11,574 --> 01:14:13,208
How about we don't use
the word "genitals"?
1528
01:14:13,241 --> 01:14:14,741
Will you please just go
in there and do the deed
1529
01:14:14,774 --> 01:14:15,974
so you can report back?
1530
01:14:16,008 --> 01:14:18,008
Why don't you just go inside
and do the deed and report back?
1531
01:14:18,041 --> 01:14:19,974
Because they don't service
lesbians or straight girls
1532
01:14:20,008 --> 01:14:21,340
who like sex with women.
1533
01:14:21,374 --> 01:14:23,541
How do you know they
don't service women?
1534
01:14:23,574 --> 01:14:26,340
Oh my god, you called
and asked for yourself.
1535
01:14:26,374 --> 01:14:28,974
Wow, you really have
turned over a new leaf.
1536
01:14:29,008 --> 01:14:32,374
Look, you buy women
nice dinners all the time
1537
01:14:32,407 --> 01:14:33,641
hoping to get sex out of it,
correct?
1538
01:14:33,674 --> 01:14:35,407
What?
1539
01:14:35,441 --> 01:14:36,507
Pfff.
1540
01:14:38,507 --> 01:14:39,175
I- I do.
1541
01:14:39,208 --> 01:14:40,374
Yeah.
1542
01:14:40,407 --> 01:14:43,541
So that's just a more honest
side of the exact same coin,
1543
01:14:43,574 --> 01:14:46,275
and it's perfectly natural.
1544
01:14:47,275 --> 01:14:49,407
I'm not going in there alone.
1545
01:14:49,441 --> 01:14:52,074
Well, great, let's get
in there.
1546
01:14:52,108 --> 01:14:54,441
Wow. Called my bluff.
1547
01:14:56,774 --> 01:14:58,707
Oh boy, this is happening.
1548
01:15:01,141 --> 01:15:02,641
Hey, sweetheart.
1549
01:15:02,674 --> 01:15:04,241
You worry too much.
1550
01:15:04,275 --> 01:15:07,074
I told you there'd be other
normal people here.
1551
01:15:07,108 --> 01:15:08,208
Howdy, fellas.
1552
01:15:08,241 --> 01:15:09,974
How y'all doin' today?
1553
01:15:10,008 --> 01:15:12,674
We're here to get her some,
if you know what I mean.
1554
01:15:12,707 --> 01:15:15,175
Ain't that right,
honey bunch?
1555
01:15:15,208 --> 01:15:17,574
It's a perfectly natural thing.
1556
01:15:17,607 --> 01:15:19,974
What dialect is that?
1557
01:15:20,008 --> 01:15:21,141
Is it not southern?
1558
01:15:21,175 --> 01:15:22,507
Not at all.
1559
01:15:22,541 --> 01:15:24,707
And just to be clear,
this is already not worth it.
1560
01:15:24,741 --> 01:15:27,507
Just so we are clear, am I to
share your girl or get my own?
1561
01:15:27,541 --> 01:15:30,441
I mean, we've not really worked
out any of the details here.
1562
01:15:32,108 --> 01:15:33,208
Oh.
1563
01:15:34,774 --> 01:15:36,141
Interesting.
1564
01:15:36,707 --> 01:15:39,707
Ladies? Please say hello.
1565
01:15:40,607 --> 01:15:43,474
Just like that, here they come,
down the staircase.
1566
01:15:43,507 --> 01:15:45,574
Oh, that's a nice dress.
1567
01:15:46,541 --> 01:15:47,941
Thank you.
1568
01:15:48,407 --> 01:15:50,008
I need to go to the bathroom.
1569
01:15:50,041 --> 01:15:53,208
Uh... I can't do this.
1570
01:15:53,241 --> 01:15:54,374
I'm so, so sorry.
1571
01:15:54,407 --> 01:15:55,407
May I squeeze through?
1572
01:15:55,441 --> 01:15:57,474
Good luck.
1573
01:15:58,175 --> 01:16:00,307
What happened to your boyfriend?
1574
01:16:00,340 --> 01:16:02,507
Oh, no, he's not
my boyfriend.
1575
01:16:02,541 --> 01:16:06,474
He's more of a colleague.
1576
01:16:06,507 --> 01:16:08,407
Excuse me, doll?
1577
01:16:08,441 --> 01:16:11,208
We don't service
single women here.
1578
01:16:11,241 --> 01:16:15,307
Actually, I want to apply
for a job.
1579
01:16:16,340 --> 01:16:17,507
As...?
1580
01:16:17,541 --> 01:16:19,507
As a... you know,
1581
01:16:19,541 --> 01:16:22,208
what they are-do.
1582
01:16:22,241 --> 01:16:23,407
Hi.
1583
01:16:23,441 --> 01:16:26,108
You want to be a working girl.
1584
01:16:26,141 --> 01:16:27,507
Yeah.
1585
01:16:34,275 --> 01:16:35,407
Wow.
1586
01:16:35,441 --> 01:16:36,707
How'd it go?
1587
01:16:36,741 --> 01:16:40,275
Well, I applied to be
one of the girls.
1588
01:16:40,307 --> 01:16:41,441
I'm sorry, what?
1589
01:16:41,474 --> 01:16:44,108
Well, I didn't get the job,
obviously.
1590
01:16:44,141 --> 01:16:45,340
So quick question.
1591
01:16:45,374 --> 01:16:46,674
When I tell the story later,
1592
01:16:46,707 --> 01:16:48,241
which do you think is going
to be better?
1593
01:16:48,275 --> 01:16:50,008
The fact that you applied
to be a prostitute
1594
01:16:50,041 --> 01:16:51,374
or that you didn't get
the job?
1595
01:16:51,407 --> 01:16:53,041
Anyway, I'm really sorry
1596
01:16:53,074 --> 01:16:54,407
that you're late for
your bachelor party.
1597
01:16:54,441 --> 01:16:55,175
No, that's alright.
1598
01:16:55,208 --> 01:16:56,108
I'll just tell them
the truth,
1599
01:16:56,141 --> 01:16:58,208
that you got hung up
at a job interview.
1600
01:16:58,241 --> 01:16:59,507
I'm just teasing.
1601
01:16:59,541 --> 01:17:01,340
They'd be lucky
to have you.
1602
01:17:01,374 --> 01:17:02,507
Thank you.
1603
01:17:18,074 --> 01:17:19,175
Here we are, huh?
1604
01:17:19,208 --> 01:17:21,607
Well, I mean, are you sure you
don't wanna come along?
1605
01:17:21,641 --> 01:17:23,474
You can always be the
entertainment package.
1606
01:17:23,507 --> 01:17:26,074
No, I'm just gonna
wander around.
1607
01:17:26,108 --> 01:17:26,909
Alright.
1608
01:17:26,941 --> 01:17:28,441
All I want right now
is a quiet bar
1609
01:17:28,474 --> 01:17:30,974
and an artfully
crafted cocktail.
1610
01:17:31,008 --> 01:17:31,574
Fair enough.
1611
01:17:31,607 --> 01:17:32,241
Have fun!
1612
01:17:32,275 --> 01:17:33,574
Alright, have a good night!
1613
01:17:35,441 --> 01:17:37,374
Woooo!
1614
01:17:41,407 --> 01:17:42,574
Yes!
1615
01:17:43,374 --> 01:17:44,574
Ooh, that's strong.
1616
01:17:44,607 --> 01:17:46,208
Let's take a picture.
1617
01:17:46,407 --> 01:17:47,707
My new friends.
1618
01:17:47,741 --> 01:17:50,241
One, two, three.
1619
01:17:52,407 --> 01:17:53,674
Alright, Vegas.
1620
01:17:53,707 --> 01:17:56,541
Welcome to karaoke night
at the Blue Saloon.
1621
01:17:56,574 --> 01:17:58,541
Up next we've got...
1622
01:18:00,607 --> 01:18:02,307
Lucy Neal.
1623
01:18:02,340 --> 01:18:03,307
Come on up.
1624
01:18:03,340 --> 01:18:04,307
What?
1625
01:18:04,340 --> 01:18:05,340
Oh, no.
1626
01:18:05,374 --> 01:18:07,108
No, I didn't sign up.
1627
01:18:07,141 --> 01:18:09,307
Well, someone put your name
in there.
1628
01:18:10,340 --> 01:18:14,008
Well... actually,
I don't sing.
1629
01:18:14,041 --> 01:18:15,275
What do you do, then?
1630
01:18:15,307 --> 01:18:19,742
Um... I'm a violinist?
1631
01:18:19,775 --> 01:18:21,340
Oh.
1632
01:18:22,641 --> 01:18:24,008
Well then why don't
you come down
1633
01:18:24,041 --> 01:18:24,974
and play some violin for us?
1634
01:18:25,008 --> 01:18:25,407
Oh, no, no, no.
1635
01:18:25,441 --> 01:18:26,074
No, I'm good.
1636
01:18:26,108 --> 01:18:27,108
Thank you.
1637
01:18:27,141 --> 01:18:28,307
Come on, there's only like
five people in here.
1638
01:18:28,340 --> 01:18:29,641
What've you got to lose?
1639
01:18:29,674 --> 01:18:31,241
Get up here, have some fun.
1640
01:18:31,742 --> 01:18:33,108
Crap.
1641
01:18:33,340 --> 01:18:34,574
Ok.
1642
01:18:36,108 --> 01:18:38,141
Not cool, guys.
1643
01:18:39,008 --> 01:18:40,241
Give it up for Lucy.
1644
01:18:43,507 --> 01:18:45,641
I play classical mostly.
1645
01:18:45,674 --> 01:18:46,507
Don't worry about it.
1646
01:18:46,541 --> 01:18:48,008
Just play along.
We're in the key of G.
1647
01:18:48,041 --> 01:18:48,541
It's an original.
1648
01:18:48,574 --> 01:18:50,008
There's your bow.
1649
01:18:52,175 --> 01:18:53,441
Are you guys ready?
1650
01:19:28,307 --> 01:19:33,041
♪ Hello my lovely baby,
I want you near, ♪
1651
01:19:33,074 --> 01:19:35,241
♪ I see you walking
through my door, ♪
1652
01:19:35,275 --> 01:19:36,742
♪ And it is clear, ♪
1653
01:19:36,775 --> 01:19:41,307
♪ I need you more and more,
don't I? ♪
1654
01:19:41,340 --> 01:19:45,340
♪ I want you more and more
in my life, ♪
1655
01:19:45,374 --> 01:19:48,675
♪ So hey, come on in, ♪
1656
01:20:05,307 --> 01:20:07,175
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1657
01:20:07,208 --> 01:20:10,208
♪ I feel I'm getting cold, ♪
1658
01:20:14,141 --> 01:20:16,275
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1659
01:20:16,307 --> 01:20:19,407
♪ I feel my heart
in my soul, ♪
1660
01:20:21,642 --> 01:20:22,974
♪ Yeah, yeah, ♪
1661
01:20:23,008 --> 01:20:24,742
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1662
01:20:24,775 --> 01:20:27,307
♪ Wake me up in my soul, ♪
1663
01:20:31,175 --> 01:20:33,340
♪ Wake me up baby, ♪
1664
01:20:33,374 --> 01:20:36,340
♪ I feel my heart's
getting cold, ♪
1665
01:20:36,374 --> 01:20:37,407
♪ I don't wanna get cold, ♪
1666
01:20:37,441 --> 01:20:38,374
♪ Now, warm me up, ♪
1667
01:20:38,407 --> 01:20:40,541
♪ warm me up,
warm me up, ♪
1668
01:20:42,407 --> 01:20:46,507
♪ And I am fallin' fallin'
fallin' for you so I, ♪
1669
01:20:46,541 --> 01:20:48,574
♪ Realize I that
I am old and, ♪
1670
01:20:48,608 --> 01:20:53,074
♪ Suddenly it seems
everyone has left me, ♪
1671
01:20:53,108 --> 01:20:56,108
♪ Suddenly as it seems
as the future's ♪
1672
01:20:56,141 --> 01:20:59,141
♪ right in front of me ♪
1673
01:21:02,175 --> 01:21:02,675
Yeah!
1674
01:21:02,708 --> 01:21:03,974
Alright, Lucy!
1675
01:21:05,241 --> 01:21:06,974
Yeah.
1676
01:21:07,008 --> 01:21:09,175
Well done.
1677
01:21:09,208 --> 01:21:11,275
Alright, let's see
who's up next.
1678
01:21:11,307 --> 01:21:13,974
Anyone else have any
hidden talents out there?
1679
01:21:16,307 --> 01:21:17,608
What're you doing here?
1680
01:21:17,642 --> 01:21:21,307
Shouldn't you be at the bachelor
party with Paul?
1681
01:21:21,340 --> 01:21:24,108
Paul showed me the picture
you texted him
1682
01:21:24,141 --> 01:21:27,374
of you and the posse
of Harvard boys.
1683
01:21:27,407 --> 01:21:28,575
I recognized the bar so-
1684
01:21:28,608 --> 01:21:29,307
What, so you-
1685
01:21:29,340 --> 01:21:31,208
Thought I'd come looking
for you.
1686
01:21:31,241 --> 01:21:33,708
Please tell me you've got
better than that.
1687
01:21:37,474 --> 01:21:39,407
How about I tell you how sorry
I am that I fell off
1688
01:21:39,441 --> 01:21:41,474
the face of the earth?
1689
01:21:43,175 --> 01:21:44,441
I was an idiot.
1690
01:21:44,474 --> 01:21:47,208
Why didn't you call?
1691
01:21:47,241 --> 01:21:49,441
A bunch of reasons.
1692
01:21:49,474 --> 01:21:51,241
None of them good.
1693
01:21:53,074 --> 01:21:54,141
Ok, look.
1694
01:21:54,175 --> 01:21:55,575
This has been fun and thank you
for whatever this is
1695
01:21:55,608 --> 01:21:56,275
but I am not-
1696
01:21:56,307 --> 01:21:57,340
But-but wait.
1697
01:21:57,374 --> 01:22:00,208
Can I just have one second?
1698
01:22:00,241 --> 01:22:04,441
Meeting you was
a big surprise.
1699
01:22:04,474 --> 01:22:09,275
And then I realized how much
I really liked you.
1700
01:22:09,307 --> 01:22:10,307
But then I-I just-
1701
01:22:10,340 --> 01:22:13,141
Decided to show your
considerable appreciation
1702
01:22:13,175 --> 01:22:17,108
by sleeping with me
and then running out?
1703
01:22:17,141 --> 01:22:19,575
It's just-it's a scary
proposition.
1704
01:22:19,608 --> 01:22:20,441
What's scary?
1705
01:22:20,474 --> 01:22:21,008
I'm scary?
1706
01:22:21,041 --> 01:22:24,008
What is scary about me?
1707
01:22:27,275 --> 01:22:32,074
For starters, you're
obsessed with sex.
1708
01:22:36,675 --> 01:22:42,374
Look, you came around
at a really weird time.
1709
01:22:42,407 --> 01:22:44,441
And I know the list is bizarre
1710
01:22:44,475 --> 01:22:48,108
but I've got something
important to prove.
1711
01:22:48,141 --> 01:22:49,307
Prove what? To who?
1712
01:22:49,340 --> 01:22:51,108
To myself.
1713
01:22:53,775 --> 01:23:00,340
I guess... I need to prove
to myself that I'm enough.
1714
01:23:09,208 --> 01:23:11,374
Leaving like that
was a mistake.
1715
01:23:11,407 --> 01:23:14,708
Not calling you
was a mistake.
1716
01:23:14,742 --> 01:23:17,675
Will you please forgive me?
1717
01:23:35,275 --> 01:23:36,442
Sorry.
1718
01:23:41,708 --> 01:23:42,175
Woah, woah, woah.
1719
01:23:42,208 --> 01:23:43,175
Wait. Wait. Stop.
1720
01:23:43,208 --> 01:23:43,909
Stop?
1721
01:23:43,941 --> 01:23:46,175
I don't wanna hurt
the baby.
1722
01:23:46,208 --> 01:23:47,742
What?
1723
01:23:47,775 --> 01:23:52,041
Um... I'm not pregnant.
1724
01:23:52,074 --> 01:23:53,340
I beg your pardon?
1725
01:23:53,374 --> 01:23:54,074
Wait-
1726
01:23:54,108 --> 01:23:55,175
You're not?
1727
01:23:55,208 --> 01:23:57,708
I know-I know
I've been emotional
1728
01:23:57,742 --> 01:24:00,475
and like I'm craving some weird
stuff, but oh my-oh my god,
1729
01:24:00,508 --> 01:24:01,108
do I look pregnant?
1730
01:24:01,141 --> 01:24:02,074
No, no, no.
1731
01:24:02,108 --> 01:24:02,875
You're not emotional.
1732
01:24:02,909 --> 01:24:04,141
You look stunning
and beautiful.
1733
01:24:04,175 --> 01:24:10,175
It's uh, at your house you had
maternity pants on the chair.
1734
01:24:10,208 --> 01:24:12,675
Honestly, I saw the pants
and I freaked out
1735
01:24:12,708 --> 01:24:14,974
and that's why I left.
1736
01:24:15,008 --> 01:24:17,141
Oh my god.
1737
01:24:17,175 --> 01:24:19,141
What?
1738
01:24:19,175 --> 01:24:20,108
Oh my god.
1739
01:24:20,141 --> 01:24:23,642
You left because you thought
I was pregnant?
1740
01:24:23,675 --> 01:24:25,141
It's a scary proposition.
1741
01:24:30,208 --> 01:24:31,340
Wow.
1742
01:24:34,508 --> 01:24:36,008
Wait.
1743
01:24:37,108 --> 01:24:40,475
You thought that and you
still wanted to be with me.
1744
01:24:50,375 --> 01:24:51,742
We like the same books.
1745
01:24:51,775 --> 01:24:53,241
Mmm.
1746
01:24:53,275 --> 01:24:55,041
Not in the same order.
1747
01:24:55,074 --> 01:24:56,141
You're right.
1748
01:24:56,175 --> 01:24:58,307
It's never gonna work.
1749
01:25:25,008 --> 01:25:25,974
Luce, it's Paul.
1750
01:25:26,008 --> 01:25:26,675
You're never gonna believe this.
1751
01:25:26,708 --> 01:25:27,775
I've met the girl of my dreams.
1752
01:25:27,809 --> 01:25:30,275
Her name is Destiny and yes,
she is a stripper.
1753
01:25:30,308 --> 01:25:31,974
Let me tell you...
1754
01:25:35,074 --> 01:25:36,742
Hi Lucy, Howard Gregson.
1755
01:25:36,775 --> 01:25:39,974
Our committee loved
your audition but ultimately
1756
01:25:40,008 --> 01:25:42,442
decided your playing
is too expansive.
1757
01:25:42,475 --> 01:25:45,175
A hair uninhibited
for our conductor.
1758
01:25:45,208 --> 01:25:48,008
But I think your skills
are just a bit misplaced.
1759
01:25:48,041 --> 01:25:50,008
To that end I have an
opportunity coming up
1760
01:25:50,041 --> 01:25:51,675
in a couple of weeks.
1761
01:26:17,375 --> 01:26:18,675
- Hey.
- Hey.
1762
01:26:18,708 --> 01:26:19,708
You all ready
for the wedding?
1763
01:26:19,742 --> 01:26:23,041
Yes, but there's something
we need to do first.
1764
01:26:30,276 --> 01:26:32,008
Wow.
1765
01:26:32,041 --> 01:26:33,708
Well, you've still got one
more thing on your list.
1766
01:26:33,742 --> 01:26:35,208
Oh.
1767
01:26:35,242 --> 01:26:36,375
Yes, I do.
1768
01:26:36,408 --> 01:26:37,974
Let's go.
1769
01:26:45,242 --> 01:26:45,775
There you go.
1770
01:26:45,809 --> 01:26:46,742
Thank you guys so much.
1771
01:26:46,775 --> 01:26:48,308
Thank you.
1772
01:26:48,341 --> 01:26:49,208
- Hi.
- Hi.
1773
01:26:49,242 --> 01:26:50,108
Hey.
1774
01:26:50,141 --> 01:26:51,175
Who can I make it out to?
1775
01:26:51,208 --> 01:26:52,074
Uh, Lucy.
1776
01:26:52,108 --> 01:26:54,008
Yeah, she's a big fan.
1777
01:26:54,041 --> 01:26:56,041
Um, how do I spell that?
1778
01:26:57,742 --> 01:27:00,642
Actually, there's a much
bigger fan
1779
01:27:00,675 --> 01:27:03,408
that you should make this
out to.
1780
01:27:05,742 --> 01:27:09,108
I mean, this is just so Jeff.
1781
01:27:10,608 --> 01:27:11,708
Care to dance?
1782
01:27:11,742 --> 01:27:13,941
Yes, I would love to.
1783
01:27:33,276 --> 01:27:35,242
Ok, Stan.
1784
01:27:35,276 --> 01:27:36,675
Woo!
1785
01:27:36,708 --> 01:27:37,276
Hey, there she is.
1786
01:27:37,308 --> 01:27:39,141
Here, come on.
Switch.
1787
01:27:39,176 --> 01:27:40,341
Oh.
1788
01:27:41,276 --> 01:27:42,508
Hey, congratulations.
1789
01:27:42,542 --> 01:27:43,242
Oh, thanks.
1790
01:27:43,276 --> 01:27:45,041
And thanks for playing
for us.
1791
01:27:45,074 --> 01:27:47,242
The force is strong
with you.
1792
01:27:50,875 --> 01:27:52,209
Mind if I...?
1793
01:27:53,242 --> 01:27:54,608
That's cool.
1794
01:27:56,308 --> 01:27:58,276
Thanks for doing this.
1795
01:27:58,308 --> 01:28:00,008
The price was right.
1796
01:28:00,041 --> 01:28:00,909
Is that the only reason?
1797
01:28:00,941 --> 01:28:05,142
No. Well, maybe.
Ok, yes. It was. But...
1798
01:28:05,176 --> 01:28:06,074
Ok.
1799
01:28:06,108 --> 01:28:07,642
I'm glad I did.
1800
01:28:07,675 --> 01:28:08,608
I'm glad we're good.
1801
01:28:08,642 --> 01:28:10,242
Me too.
1802
01:28:10,276 --> 01:28:11,242
Uh, I gotta ask you.
1803
01:28:11,276 --> 01:28:15,675
Um, whatever happened
to that list you had?
1804
01:28:15,708 --> 01:28:17,675
The interesting one?
1805
01:28:17,708 --> 01:28:20,542
Wait until you see the wedding
gift I got for you.
1806
01:28:37,308 --> 01:28:39,608
I can't find it.
1807
01:28:39,642 --> 01:28:43,209
That's because
it's right here.
1808
01:28:45,008 --> 01:28:48,209
And I can't wait to give it
to you.
1809
01:28:57,475 --> 01:28:58,708
I'm... married.
1810
01:28:58,742 --> 01:29:00,575
I'm-I got married.
1811
01:29:00,608 --> 01:29:03,242
I'm married today.
1812
01:29:05,742 --> 01:29:07,742
Thank you so much
for doing this.
1813
01:29:07,775 --> 01:29:09,308
What can I say?
1814
01:29:09,341 --> 01:29:10,575
I believe in love.
1815
01:29:10,608 --> 01:29:12,708
Hey, Luce, all the bridesmaids
are twerking
1816
01:29:12,742 --> 01:29:14,176
on the dance floor...
1817
01:29:14,209 --> 01:29:16,242
Hi.
1818
01:29:16,276 --> 01:29:17,142
I'm Paul.
1819
01:29:17,176 --> 01:29:19,675
I'm Honey.
1820
01:29:19,708 --> 01:29:22,608
Delighted.
1821
01:29:22,642 --> 01:29:24,109
Are you gonna ask me
to dance?
1822
01:29:24,142 --> 01:29:25,109
Yes, yes I am.
1823
01:29:25,142 --> 01:29:26,675
Right this way, please.
1824
01:29:36,041 --> 01:29:37,341
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
1825
01:29:37,375 --> 01:29:40,041
there's only a few songs left
so get out on the dance floor.
1826
01:29:40,075 --> 01:29:43,008
Let's celebrate
Jeff and Anne tonight.
1827
01:29:43,041 --> 01:29:44,642
Let's send them off
with style.
1828
01:29:44,675 --> 01:29:48,341
Don't forget to tip
your bartender.
1829
01:30:04,408 --> 01:30:05,142
What?
120706
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