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1
00:00:02,268 --> 00:00:04,771
Everybody, run!
Get out of here!
[ Animal Roaring ]
2
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:09,025
[ All Screaming ]
[ Panting ]
Time for a new plan.
3
00:00:09,025 --> 00:00:12,212
What do ya got?
[ Squawking ]
4
00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:17,117
I got a good one.
What?
5
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:20,103
Run like Tartarus.
Yeah.
6
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,093
[ Tape Stops ]
7
00:00:28,294 --> 00:00:30,697
Let me get this straight,
Tapert.
8
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,900
Hercules versus a chicken?
9
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,603
[ Cash Register Ringing ]
10
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:39,406
You know, that's not fair.
It was a giant chicken.
11
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,775
[ Water Sloshing ]
12
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,563
[ Groans ]
You're the executive producer
of this show.
13
00:00:46,563 --> 00:00:48,948
This is your idea
of quality programming?
Come on, B.S.
14
00:00:48,948 --> 00:00:51,868
You know me better than that.
I've never cared
about quality.
15
00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:55,055
You don't have to tell me twice.
I saw last season.
[ Stomach Gurgles ]
16
00:00:55,055 --> 00:01:00,126
- [ Belches ]
- First, you turn Hercules
into a pig. Now this.
17
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:04,380
- What's your thing
with animals anyway, huh?
- Why? What have you heard?
18
00:01:04,380 --> 00:01:07,834
This is your last chance,
buddy.
19
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:11,838
I want action.
I want romance. I wanna see
Salmonius on more episodes,
20
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:14,407
and I want the stories
on my desk by the end
of the week,
21
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:18,011
or you're gonna be in a theme
park selling cotton candy
dressed as Woody Woodpecker.
22
00:01:18,011 --> 00:01:21,514
[ Cackling ]
Now get out of here
before I throw you out.
23
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:24,734
Ho-ho-ho, spinach chin.
24
00:01:24,734 --> 00:01:27,737
I'd like to see you try.
25
00:01:27,737 --> 00:01:30,723
[ Both Gasp ]
Whoa!
26
00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:35,628
[ Cat Screeches ]
27
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:37,897
Melissa, turn on
the lights, will ya?
28
00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:39,899
Anything broken?
I don't think so.
29
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:44,404
Damn!
Hollinsfoffer wants a bunch of
new story ideas by end of week,
30
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:47,907
or it's fade out on me.
What's the bad news?
31
00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:51,911
Melissa,
rally the troops.
32
00:01:51,911 --> 00:01:54,414
I'm declaring
a state of emergency.
33
00:01:56,299 --> 00:01:59,169
[ Whistling ]
34
00:02:01,921 --> 00:02:04,257
[ Applause, Whistling ]
35
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:10,997
[ High-pitched Voice ]
Oh, my God.
It's Kevin Sorbo.
36
00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:13,349
Oh! Oh! Mama! Mama!
[ Screams ]
37
00:02:13,349 --> 00:02:15,235
Oh, the humanity.
38
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:20,190
[ Normal Voice ]
So, how's about an autograph
for your dear old brother?
39
00:02:20,190 --> 00:02:24,194
Why don't you write to the
studio, Ares? I'm sure they'll
be happy to send you one.
40
00:02:24,194 --> 00:02:27,697
Oh, yeah.
Baywatch, B.C.
41
00:02:27,697 --> 00:02:31,701
Seems your loyal staff
found themselves in something
of a crunch.
42
00:02:32,202 --> 00:02:35,088
If they don't deliver
by tomorrow, Hollinsfoffer
will drop the ax.
43
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:38,725
He's the head of the studio.
What does he know?
44
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:43,997
What about those cheesy
blue-screen effects?
They look so fake.
45
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:49,152
- Ares, what do you want?
- [ Cowboys Shouting ]
46
00:02:49,152 --> 00:02:53,206
- Merchandising rights.
- [ Chuckles ]
Get in line.
47
00:02:53,206 --> 00:02:57,443
I deserve some compensation
for the weekly slander
I have to endure.
48
00:02:57,443 --> 00:03:01,664
After 5,000 years,
nothing has changed, Ares.
You're still a whiner.
49
00:03:01,664 --> 00:03:04,184
And you are still
living a lie.
50
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:07,403
It's only a matter of time
before people find out that...
51
00:03:07,403 --> 00:03:09,405
"Kevin Sorbo" is the real myth.
52
00:03:09,405 --> 00:03:11,541
Hey, would you look at that?
53
00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:15,044
What?
This is where you get out.
54
00:03:15,044 --> 00:03:18,047
You son of a--
You should always
wear your seat belt.
55
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,094
[ Liquid Pouring Into Glass ]
[ Burp ]
56
00:03:48,845 --> 00:03:50,847
[ Spittoon Clanging ]
57
00:03:50,847 --> 00:03:54,734
Jerry! Thank God
you're here.
58
00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,654
Look. Don't touch.
59
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,573
[ Gasps ]
I just got a call.
60
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:04,077
They told us to pack our bags.
They're shipping us out,
aren't they?
61
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:06,079
Why, Jerry, why?
[ Tires Screech ]
62
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,982
Because we've all gotta learn
to work together, that's why.
63
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:12,485
To be creative in a crunch.
To boost overall morale.
64
00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:15,004
By the way, Paul,
your last script sucked.
65
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:19,392
[ Gasps ] I'll change my ways.
I promise. I'll only drink
when I'm awake.
66
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:21,711
I'll tip all the showgirls.
Snap out of it, man!
67
00:04:21,711 --> 00:04:25,148
We've all gotta do a lot better
than that if we're gonna
save this show.
68
00:04:25,148 --> 00:04:28,518
So I've taken the liberty
of hiring professional help.
69
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,520
It's about time.
[ Horn Tooting ]
70
00:04:32,956 --> 00:04:34,824
All aboard.
71
00:04:34,824 --> 00:04:38,695
[ Chuckling ]
Clear your calendars, crew.
72
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,697
We're going on
a corporate retreat.
73
00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:44,067
Uh--
74
00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:49,622
[ Man Narrating ]
This is the story
of a time long ago,
75
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,891
a time of myth and legend,
76
00:04:51,891 --> 00:04:54,927
when the ancient gods
were petty and cruel,
77
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:57,530
and they plagued mankind
with suffering.
78
00:04:57,530 --> 00:05:01,267
Only one man dared
to challenge their power--
79
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,636
Hercules.
80
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:07,607
Hercules possessed a strength
the world had never seen,
81
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,176
a strength surpassed
only by the power of his heart.
82
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:13,780
He journeyed the earth,
battling the minions
of his wicked stepmother, Hera,
83
00:05:13,780 --> 00:05:16,916
the all-powerful
queen of the gods.
84
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,901
But wherever
there was evil,
85
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:22,388
wherever an innocent
would suffer,
86
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,557
there would be... Hercules.
87
00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:27,060
- [ Screeching ]
- [ Roaring ]
88
00:05:41,524 --> 00:05:42,492
Hail!
89
00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:59,842
Gee, Rob, you spared
no expense.
90
00:06:00,343 --> 00:06:02,345
Oh, no.
91
00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:04,347
You really didn't.
92
00:06:05,848 --> 00:06:08,351
[ Bees Buzzing ]
Whoa. I'm allergic to bees.
93
00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:10,853
If I get stung, I'm gonna
swell up like a hog.
94
00:06:10,853 --> 00:06:13,356
I'll be glad to put you down
before it comes to that.
95
00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:16,359
No time like the present, Jerry,
that's what I always say.
96
00:06:19,262 --> 00:06:22,765
Well, howdy y'all, y'all.
Welcome to Camp Wannachuck,
97
00:06:22,765 --> 00:06:25,618
where every day
you'll see a sunny day.
98
00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:28,821
'Cause that's my name,
Sunny Day.
99
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:32,075
- Pray for rain.
- Now, right behind you...
100
00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:35,311
is my lovely assistant,
Norma Bates.
101
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,630
[ Gasps ]
Hey, girl!
102
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:39,832
[ Hisses ]
103
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:45,388
- Ew.
-Now here on the homestead,
104
00:06:45,388 --> 00:06:47,590
we'll be combining corporate
reengineering techniques...
105
00:06:48,091 --> 00:06:50,476
with ancient Navajo rituals...
106
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:53,930
to enhance the efficiency
of your overall group dynamic.
107
00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:57,033
Now, can you say "Navajo?"
108
00:06:57,033 --> 00:06:59,285
Navajo!
[ Weakly ]
Navajo.
109
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:02,789
- Well, bravo-ho.
-[ Spittoon Clanging ]
110
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:11,581
Except for you, Mr. Mustache.
Let's get those pipes
a-chiming.
111
00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:16,803
- Eeny, meeny,
- [ Gasps ]
112
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:19,388
miney, die.
113
00:07:19,889 --> 00:07:23,259
For God's sakes, Jerry,
what are you doing?
He signs all our checks!
114
00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:26,679
- I'll save you the hand.
- Go for it, muscle sprout.
115
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,849
It'll save me the torture
of having to read another one
of your crappy scripts!
116
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:33,970
- I'll split you like
a chicken, boy.
- [ Whistle Blows ]
117
00:07:33,970 --> 00:07:37,473
That is a Camp Wannachuck
time-out.
118
00:07:37,473 --> 00:07:42,478
Now, I can see we've got
a long and winding road
ahead of us.
119
00:07:42,478 --> 00:07:44,480
So let's get to work,
shall we?
120
00:07:46,849 --> 00:07:49,852
Now, this is the Camp
Wannachuck trust exercise.
121
00:07:49,852 --> 00:07:54,724
Mr. Tapert, a good leader
has to learn to trust
his employees.
122
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:58,311
After all, you can't
do everything yourself.
[ Laughs ]
123
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,963
- He can't do anything himself.
- Oh.
124
00:08:00,963 --> 00:08:03,833
Now, Mr. T. here
is gonna fall off this table,
125
00:08:03,833 --> 00:08:07,703
and y'all are gonna catch him
in your arms to keep him
from breaking his ass.
126
00:08:07,703 --> 00:08:10,723
- What?
- Don't be nervous, Mr. T.
127
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:13,442
Your staff loves you.
128
00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:19,966
Okay, Sunny Day. But don't
forget-- if this doesn't work,
the check hasn't cleared.
129
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,368
Come on, Rob.
Come on.
130
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,487
[ Jerry ]
Come on.
131
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,377
-[ Melissa ] Come on.
-[ Liz ] We're here for ya.
132
00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:35,064
[ Melissa ]
Come to Mama.
133
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,303
-[ Jerry ] Whoopsy daisy.
- Rob! Rob!
134
00:08:40,303 --> 00:08:42,305
Are you okay, buddy?
135
00:08:42,305 --> 00:08:47,677
Come on. Speak to me, Rob.
We hate to lose you, buddy.
Come on. There you go.
136
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:49,762
- Is he dead?
- Don't tease me.
137
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:52,081
Three cheers for
Camp Wannachuck.
138
00:08:52,081 --> 00:08:56,285
-[ All ] Hooray!
- Good. We can go now.
139
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,521
I got it!
[ Chuckles ]
140
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,376
I know how we're gonna
start the season.
141
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,880
[ Chuckles ]
We're gonna kill Herc's
little buddy, Iolaus.
142
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,882
How original.
Huh?
143
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:13,386
We've only killed him
twice already.
But this time it'll be for good.
144
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,389
We'll kill him in such a way
that he'll never recover,
145
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:20,643
like-- like...
spontaneous combustion.
146
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:23,796
Friends forever.
Right, Herc?
147
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,731
[ Screaming ]
148
00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:30,152
Or-- Or get this.
149
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:34,240
Friends forever.
Right, Herc?
150
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,177
[ Screaming ]
151
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:42,014
Or we'll just kill him
the old-fashioned Acme way.
152
00:09:42,014 --> 00:09:45,251
Friends forever.
Right, Herc?
[ Object Falling ]
153
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,655
[ Iolaus ]
Just one of those days.
154
00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:53,159
Kill Iolaus?
Is that a good idea?
155
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:55,161
No, Paul,
it's not a good idea.
156
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:57,663
It's a brilliant idea!
157
00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:00,166
So unless anybody has
any further objections--
158
00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:03,002
[ Sorbo ]
Well, now that you mention it.
Ten-hut!
159
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:07,290
[ Tapert ]
Kevin Sorbo.
Hey, sorry I'm late, folks.
160
00:10:07,290 --> 00:10:10,776
Oh, Kevin.
[ Crying ]
161
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,779
They're gonna...
k-kill Iolaus.
162
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,766
But Iolaus lived
to be a hundred years old.
163
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:20,770
Uh, what the hell
you talking about, Sorborino?
164
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:25,091
Uh, never mind.
165
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:29,061
Look, if you're gonna
kill Iolaus... again,
166
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:32,064
let him die like
the hero he was.
167
00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:35,568
Is. You know,
I mean, on the show.
168
00:10:36,952 --> 00:10:39,855
[ Sorbo ]
What if Hercules was needed
beyond the shores of Greece?
169
00:10:39,855 --> 00:10:43,175
You know, someplace
he's never been before,
like Sumeria.
170
00:10:43,175 --> 00:10:46,579
I've sent for a man
across the seas.
171
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:50,549
Perhaps with his help,
we can restore our homeland...
172
00:10:50,549 --> 00:10:53,002
to its former glory.
173
00:10:55,471 --> 00:10:57,940
It is an honor
to have you here, Hercules.
174
00:10:58,441 --> 00:11:01,010
The honor is mine,
King Gilgamesh.
175
00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:03,095
[ Gilgamesh ]
The nectar flows
from this chalice.
176
00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:05,464
But it was hidden
by the gods in the middle
of the pyramid...
177
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,784
protected by
a series of trials.
178
00:11:08,784 --> 00:11:12,538
- Only those with the blood
of a god can reach it.
- What are we waiting for?
179
00:11:12,538 --> 00:11:15,675
Let's grab some of that nectar
and get out of here.
180
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,576
After you, my friend.
181
00:11:17,576 --> 00:11:21,714
[ Sorbo ]
Now Hercules has never
been betrayed before.
182
00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:25,184
- [ Moaning ]
-What if Gilgamesh
were the first?
183
00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:35,678
None left for the gods.
184
00:11:35,678 --> 00:11:37,563
What a pity.
185
00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:42,151
Soon, the world
will tremble...
186
00:11:42,151 --> 00:11:46,522
with the arrival of Dahak.
187
00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:48,991
All he needs
is the sacrifice...
188
00:11:48,991 --> 00:11:50,876
of a warrior heart.
189
00:11:56,365 --> 00:11:58,384
Nebula!
190
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,220
No!
191
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:11,247
Iolaus!
192
00:12:11,247 --> 00:12:13,549
[ Grunts ]
Hang in there, buddy.
193
00:12:14,049 --> 00:12:16,419
I can't.
Sure you can.
194
00:12:16,419 --> 00:12:18,537
Come on.
195
00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,324
Hercules.
196
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,283
But what do I know?
I'm just an actor.
197
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:34,904
[ All Crying ]
198
00:12:34,904 --> 00:12:36,906
An actor with vision!
199
00:12:38,357 --> 00:12:41,360
Everybody, give it up
for the big Sorbowsky.
200
00:12:46,615 --> 00:12:50,619
[ Sniffles ]
I think I got something
in my eye.
201
00:12:54,757 --> 00:12:59,645
Now, you see? This is the kind
of emotional outpouring that'll
bring y'all closer together...
202
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:04,350
and land your little empire
a top spot in theForbes500.
203
00:13:04,350 --> 00:13:07,670
[ Stomach Rumbling ]
Did I hear a tummy rumbling?
204
00:13:07,670 --> 00:13:11,657
Who's ready for lunch?
[ Mutters ]
205
00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:14,260
Well, all right.
206
00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,579
[ Tapert ]
Kevin, how'd you like to
wrestle Xena on pay-per-view?
207
00:13:17,079 --> 00:13:18,581
[ Sorbo ]
Uh, I'll get back
to you on that.
208
00:13:19,081 --> 00:13:21,083
Say, Melissa.
209
00:13:21,083 --> 00:13:23,586
You know
I'm an organ donor?
Really?
210
00:13:24,086 --> 00:13:27,089
Yeah. Need anything?
211
00:13:29,091 --> 00:13:33,596
You know, Paul, having
a conversation with you
is like being in a coma...
212
00:13:34,096 --> 00:13:36,098
without the advantages.
213
00:13:36,098 --> 00:13:39,101
Uh-huh.
So, is that a yes?
214
00:13:53,782 --> 00:13:56,769
[ Whistling ]
215
00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:04,210
Lunch is served.
216
00:14:19,542 --> 00:14:23,429
[ Jerry ] Mm-mm! Smells
just like Mama used to make.
[ Liz ] My condolences.
217
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:26,632
Thanks.
[ Tapert ] Pass that
down here. I'm starving.
218
00:14:30,135 --> 00:14:32,004
Chow down, gang.
219
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:34,807
I'm so hungry,
I could eat a Hydra.
220
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:37,259
[ Screams ]
221
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,129
Oops.
222
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:45,818
Uh, sorry.
My fault.
223
00:14:47,236 --> 00:14:51,740
Kevin Sorbo, I would like
to shake your hand, sir.
Why?
224
00:14:51,740 --> 00:14:55,744
Did y'all see how Kevin here
took responsibility
for his mistake?
225
00:14:55,744 --> 00:15:00,749
He wasn't afraid to step forward
and admit "I am a screwup!"
226
00:15:00,749 --> 00:15:03,752
Thanks, I think.
A true sign of character...
227
00:15:03,752 --> 00:15:07,756
is knowing when to say,
"The buck stops here."
228
00:15:07,756 --> 00:15:10,259
Which one of our
illustrious presidents...
[ Bell Dinging ]
229
00:15:10,259 --> 00:15:12,761
had that very motto
on his desk?
230
00:15:13,262 --> 00:15:15,264
I know it. I know it!
231
00:15:15,264 --> 00:15:19,268
Our 33rd president,
and a great American,
Mr. Harry S. Truman! Hoo-yah!
232
00:15:19,268 --> 00:15:23,589
I think they dropped the bomb
in the wrong place.
233
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:25,975
Well, gang,
it's time to move on.
234
00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:28,477
Time for our next
corporate conundrum.
235
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,848
[ Paul Coughing ]
236
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:38,354
Now, folks, this is what
we call a sweat lodge.
237
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,706
It's a traditional
Navajo ritual...
238
00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,558
designed to
put you in touch...
239
00:15:43,058 --> 00:15:46,545
with the underlying
orgone energy that permeates
the universe.
240
00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:49,632
What the hell
is she talking about,
Sorbosaurus?
241
00:15:49,632 --> 00:15:52,635
Getting in touch
with our spiritual sides.
Is that gonna cost me extra?
242
00:15:52,635 --> 00:15:55,120
Well, I'm just gonna skedaddle.
243
00:15:55,120 --> 00:16:00,025
Leave your creative juices
to start flowing. Norma.
244
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:04,129
Now I wouldn't stay in here
too long or your brains
will fry like little eggies.
245
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,398
I thinks she speaks
from experience.
246
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:11,136
I gotta get out of here!
I get a rash in small spaces.
247
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,455
I-- I can't breathe!
248
00:16:13,455 --> 00:16:16,425
I need mouth-to-mouth.
249
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,764
[ Jerry ]
Well, I thought
I'd seen it all.
250
00:16:21,764 --> 00:16:25,134
Nothing compares
to the horror
of seeing Paul...
251
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,002
in his skivvies.
[ Farts ]
252
00:16:27,002 --> 00:16:29,204
How about Yanni live
at the Acropolis?
253
00:16:29,204 --> 00:16:30,956
I stand corrected.
254
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:36,628
God knows I'm not paid enough
to give you people
story ideas, but...
255
00:16:36,628 --> 00:16:41,100
how 'bout we do a show
on Hercules's spiritual side?
256
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:46,905
Say, Melissa,
that's not a bad idea.
257
00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:49,408
[ Laughing ]
I got just the thing.
258
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:51,343
Picture this.
259
00:16:52,795 --> 00:16:55,798
Good afternoon.
Would you care to make
a donation...
260
00:16:55,798 --> 00:16:58,801
to the Church
of Soul and Consciousness?
[ Man ] Get lost!
261
00:16:58,801 --> 00:17:01,253
Huh? Huh?
262
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:05,257
I don't mean to interrupt,
but you're overlooking
the inherent contradiction...
263
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,260
of taking a character
on a spiritual journey...
264
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,729
when his very identity
is predicated on a conflict
with the gods.
265
00:17:11,246 --> 00:17:14,950
Of course, I'm presupposing
that spirituality is unique
to personifiable deities.
266
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,920
And I'm not sure that's
a message we wanna send.
267
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:21,240
- Hmm.
-[ Wheels Turning ]
268
00:17:22,641 --> 00:17:25,144
Never mind. Look.
269
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:28,647
For Hercules,
losing Iolaus is like
losing a part of himself.
270
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:31,150
He can't just go on
like nothing happened.
271
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:35,654
I mean, he'd have to question
everything that he...
ever believed in.
272
00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:41,427
You are the Chosen One.
273
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:45,314
The Druid priests have called
you here to lead us to freedom!
Come with us.
274
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:49,535
Rest. You'll need
your strength.
275
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:54,289
My strength is useless.
276
00:17:54,289 --> 00:17:57,459
[ Sorbo ]
And you can't win a fight if
you don't believe in yourself.
277
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,347
Especially against
another half-god.
278
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:07,402
I want the Druids.
279
00:18:07,402 --> 00:18:09,705
You can keep
your Chosen One.
280
00:18:09,705 --> 00:18:12,975
And you know, sometimes help
can come in a form
you least expect.
281
00:18:12,975 --> 00:18:15,694
How can someone
who champions mankind...
282
00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:19,031
with all its flaws
be so unforgiving of himself?
283
00:18:19,031 --> 00:18:21,884
Because my mistakes
kill people.
284
00:18:24,219 --> 00:18:28,724
Stay with me and
I can help you find
the path you're looking for.
285
00:18:28,724 --> 00:18:32,311
[ Sorbo ]
What if this Druid, Maybon,
were to help Hercules...
286
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:34,246
see things in
a whole new way?
287
00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:36,915
[ Maybon ]
The blood of a god flows
through your veins,
288
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:39,368
but your true strength
comes from your heart.
289
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:41,870
You must learn to listen
to your heart again.
290
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:46,258
If you can slow its rhythm,
it will sustain you
when you need it most,
291
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:48,760
even under the water.
292
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:55,450
[ Sorbo ] And Hercules can
use these new skills he's
learned to defeat Morrigan.
293
00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:57,886
[ Shouting ]
294
00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:08,413
If Morrigan dies,
the spirit of Justice
dies with her.
295
00:19:08,413 --> 00:19:11,300
[ Sorbo ]
Now Hercules is going to
have to protect his enemy,
296
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:15,087
which sets up a great conflict
for the next episode.
297
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:17,089
But what do I know?
I'm just an actor.
298
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:20,092
[ Chuckles ]
An actor with guts!
299
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:22,594
Score another one
for El Sorbo Loco, huh.
300
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:25,063
-Give it up!
- [ Giggling ]
301
00:19:26,515 --> 00:19:29,017
Oh, hey, hey.
Thank you, everybody.
302
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:32,404
Thank you.
What happened?
303
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:35,457
What happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
304
00:19:35,457 --> 00:19:38,260
Sorbo the Greek
here's coming up with all
the great story ideas...
305
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,662
while you two
so-called writers...
306
00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:43,582
are sitting there cooking like
a couple of ballpark wieners.
307
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:46,084
What the hell you trying
to say, Tapert?
308
00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:49,104
What's the matter, Jerry?
Lose your hillbilly
decoder ring?
309
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:53,058
Let me spell it out for you.
You stink out loud!
You couldn't write a check.
310
00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:55,544
[ Groaning ]
311
00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:58,096
Go, Jerry, go!
312
00:19:58,096 --> 00:20:01,066
Time to throw a Rob
on the barbie!
Hey! No! Kevin!
313
00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:04,136
Kevin!
Guys, guys, come on.
314
00:20:04,136 --> 00:20:08,106
We came to this retreat
to learn how
to work together.
315
00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:11,243
Besides, Jerry and Paul
have written some
of our best scripts.
316
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:14,463
- [ Belches ]
- Yeah? Like what?
317
00:20:15,864 --> 00:20:19,034
[ Clock Ticking ]
318
00:20:19,034 --> 00:20:21,720
[ Bell Dings ]
319
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,239
I can't think of any offhand,
but I'm sure they're out there.
320
00:20:24,239 --> 00:20:26,725
[ Muttering ]
321
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,694
[ Growls ]
322
00:20:30,662 --> 00:20:33,532
- I appreciate that, Sorbo.
-[ Paul ] Yeah.
323
00:20:33,532 --> 00:20:35,951
I love you, man.
324
00:20:35,951 --> 00:20:38,954
Thanks.
[ Sighs ]
325
00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:41,957
Okay.
326
00:20:42,441 --> 00:20:45,944
Kevin's right.
We should be thinking
about our next show.
327
00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:48,413
Greece is for morons.
328
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,917
Hercules does Ireland.
Now that's chic.
329
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:56,922
Ireland? Hey, hey,
now you're talking my lingo.
330
00:20:56,922 --> 00:20:58,790
What about this?
331
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,159
[ Cackling ]
332
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:03,161
What a beautiful Irish spring.
333
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:07,049
Where's me Lucky Charms?
I'm magically delicious.
334
00:21:07,049 --> 00:21:10,352
[ Laughing ]
335
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:13,855
Sometimes I'm so brilliant,
it's frightening.
336
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:16,842
Well, you got it half right.
337
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:21,346
Hey, you know, it could
be likeBraveheart.
338
00:21:21,346 --> 00:21:22,831
Without the Oscars.
339
00:21:22,831 --> 00:21:25,984
I swear,
there ain't nothin' like
an old-fashioned war story...
340
00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:29,321
to keep the American public
glued to the tube.
341
00:21:29,321 --> 00:21:31,823
Well, it can't only
be a war story.
342
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,543
Hercules has just made it
through the hardest time
in his life.
343
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:36,878
But he didn't do it alone.
344
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:40,382
Now he should return the favor
to someone who needs him.
345
00:21:42,351 --> 00:21:45,354
Something I can do
for you gentlemen?
We've come for Morrigan.
346
00:21:45,354 --> 00:21:47,856
The council has decreed
she's to be executed.
347
00:21:49,825 --> 00:21:53,211
I won't let you do that.
She's one of the Druids now.
348
00:21:53,211 --> 00:21:55,564
They chose her to be
the Guardian of Justice.
349
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:58,900
[ Sorbo ] Of course, Herc
and Morrigan aren't going
to get along right away.
350
00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:00,802
Drink this.
351
00:22:02,054 --> 00:22:05,157
So, you don't like tea.
352
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:07,626
Tidying me up for
a proper execution, are you?
353
00:22:08,126 --> 00:22:10,012
[ Chuckles ]
354
00:22:10,012 --> 00:22:12,831
Not that you'd notice,
but I'm saving your life.
355
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:17,569
Don't make the mistake
of thinking there's good
in everybody, Hercules.
356
00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:20,672
If anything,
the opposite's true.
357
00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:24,559
Even the best man's
got a touch of evil in him,
358
00:22:24,559 --> 00:22:27,562
and it's just waiting
for the right time
to show itself.
359
00:22:27,562 --> 00:22:30,248
[ Sorbo ]
But what if Morrigan weren't
as bad as she claimed to be?
360
00:22:30,248 --> 00:22:32,484
What if she were under
someone else's control?
361
00:22:32,484 --> 00:22:34,953
How could you let the Druids
do this to me?
362
00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:37,322
You let your feelings
get the better of you.
363
00:22:37,322 --> 00:22:40,709
Just like a mortal.
I warn you.
364
00:22:40,709 --> 00:22:45,781
Don't let your emotion
lead you astray. You won't
like the consequences.
365
00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:47,933
[ Sorbo ]
But Hercules could
suspect something more.
366
00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:51,269
- You're lovers, aren't you?
- That ended a long time ago.
367
00:22:51,269 --> 00:22:53,622
Then why does he still
have such a hold on you?
368
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:59,094
I have to obey him.
369
00:22:59,094 --> 00:23:02,431
- I don't.
- You can never
come between us.
370
00:23:02,431 --> 00:23:05,600
We share a bond
even you cannot break.
371
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,587
Let me introduce you
to her.
372
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,228
This is Brigid.
373
00:23:18,597 --> 00:23:21,049
She's our daughter.
374
00:23:21,049 --> 00:23:23,368
[ Sorbo ]
And you know how Hercules gets
when kids are in danger.
375
00:23:23,368 --> 00:23:27,105
- You'd kill your own child?
- I can always have more.
376
00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:29,674
Not if I can help it.
377
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,468
[ Grunting ]
378
00:23:54,382 --> 00:23:58,386
Your rage is like none
I've ever seen.
379
00:23:58,386 --> 00:24:02,591
Join me, and we can
divide the world.
380
00:24:02,591 --> 00:24:05,994
- I've got a better idea.
- Hercules, no!
381
00:24:07,295 --> 00:24:10,182
Ya can't just kill him
in cold blood, you know that.
382
00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:14,436
Hercules.
383
00:24:14,436 --> 00:24:17,222
Is this what
you really want?
384
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,826
You're lucky she's here.
385
00:24:20,826 --> 00:24:24,146
[ Sorbo ]
Free from Cernunnus, Morrigan
can finally become the person...
386
00:24:24,146 --> 00:24:26,148
she's always wanted to be.
387
00:24:26,148 --> 00:24:28,650
Ah, it's beautiful,
sweetie.
388
00:24:28,650 --> 00:24:31,153
It's just beautiful.
389
00:24:33,155 --> 00:24:35,173
Come here.
390
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:44,232
But what do I know?
I'm just an actor.
391
00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,735
An actor with courage!
392
00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:51,239
Come on, gang.
It's Sorbopotamus: 3;
Renaissance: 0.
393
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:53,742
We don't deserve to be sweating
in this man's company.
394
00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:57,212
Yeah.
Speaking of which,
if I sit here another second,
395
00:24:57,212 --> 00:25:01,700
my towel's gonna start
melting off.
396
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:06,505
Guys, you better go on ahead
and we'll catch up later.
[ Chuckles ]
397
00:25:08,573 --> 00:25:11,960
Oh, my God!
What was that?
398
00:25:18,967 --> 00:25:20,969
Now we can start to sweat.
399
00:25:23,588 --> 00:25:28,093
Well, I suppose after enough
time with you people,
death was inevitable.
400
00:25:28,093 --> 00:25:31,413
Let me just say
it's been a real detriment
knowing you all.
401
00:25:31,413 --> 00:25:33,648
I couldn't have said it better
my own self.
402
00:25:37,135 --> 00:25:40,138
Melissa, you know,
403
00:25:40,138 --> 00:25:44,543
before I go,
there's something
I'd like to, well--
404
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:49,881
I'd just like to play
one round of naked
leapfrog with you, please.
405
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:53,118
- Hey, look, everyone.
It's Mel Torme!
- Where?
406
00:25:53,685 --> 00:25:56,288
- Mel?
- Where?
-[ Melissa ] Mel Torme?
407
00:25:57,022 --> 00:25:59,474
[ Gasps ]
408
00:25:59,474 --> 00:26:03,945
Wow. The door just
fell off all by itself.
409
00:26:03,945 --> 00:26:05,981
[ Groans ]
410
00:26:05,981 --> 00:26:09,284
All right, everybody,
let's vamoose.
411
00:26:09,284 --> 00:26:13,788
We'll exit in order
of descending salary.
[ Chuckles ]
412
00:26:13,788 --> 00:26:16,291
Of course, Kevin,
that would be you first.
413
00:26:21,162 --> 00:26:24,583
[ Thinking ]
I can't believe that somebody's
trying to kill us.
414
00:26:25,050 --> 00:26:29,921
[ Thinking ] If this keeps up,
I may not be able to keep my
identity a secret much longer.
415
00:26:29,921 --> 00:26:33,842
[ Thinking ]
How could those bastards
cancelEllen?
416
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:37,762
[ Thinking ] But Oswald couldn't
have gotten off three shots
in under five seconds...
417
00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:40,515
with that Italian
bolt-action rifle.
418
00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:44,469
[ Thinking ]
dd Rockets' red glare dd
419
00:26:44,469 --> 00:26:47,722
dd Bombs burstin' in air dd
420
00:26:48,189 --> 00:26:51,176
[ Water Dripping ]
421
00:26:55,046 --> 00:26:59,417
That's it!
I can't stand it anymore!
422
00:26:59,417 --> 00:27:02,337
There's something
really funny going on
around here.
423
00:27:02,337 --> 00:27:06,808
- In this episode there isn't.
- Paul's right.
We should hit the road.
424
00:27:06,808 --> 00:27:10,779
All right.
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
"Momentito," Sorborito.
425
00:27:11,279 --> 00:27:14,783
I paid a lot of money
for this little shindig,
so we're gonna stay here,
426
00:27:14,783 --> 00:27:17,319
even if it kills us.
427
00:27:17,319 --> 00:27:19,387
[ All Gasping ]
428
00:27:25,577 --> 00:27:27,579
Norma, honey,
you know the rules.
429
00:27:27,579 --> 00:27:31,583
In the closet by sundown.
Now, get.
430
00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:35,437
-Go on. Get, get, get.
- [ Groans ]
431
00:27:35,437 --> 00:27:37,872
Sorry, folks.
432
00:27:37,872 --> 00:27:41,359
I'm afraid she just
hasn't been the same since
Ginger Spice left the group.
433
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,228
Dear God in heaven,
say it ain't so!
434
00:27:43,228 --> 00:27:46,531
I thought that I would
just come around
and offer up a little...
435
00:27:46,531 --> 00:27:49,000
attaboy for a super
successful first day.
436
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,404
And as a little reward,
I've brought you all
a plate of s'mores.
437
00:27:52,404 --> 00:27:56,791
Why don't you just inject
cellulite into my butt?
438
00:27:57,292 --> 00:28:00,245
Hey, no, no.
Nobody gets any s'mores.
439
00:28:00,245 --> 00:28:02,247
We got a season
to finish here.
440
00:28:02,247 --> 00:28:04,749
Otherwise,
it's ixnay ercules-Hey.
441
00:28:16,277 --> 00:28:19,280
- What?
-Come on, Sorborelli.
You know the drill.
442
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,283
We lie here like a bunch
of White House interns
while you stick it to us.
443
00:28:22,283 --> 00:28:24,736
Come on. Spit it out.
444
00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:29,708
Well, if you think about it,
Hercules has always fought
against the gods...
445
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,711
because they only
care about themselves.
446
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:35,714
What if he met a god
who was different?
447
00:28:39,134 --> 00:28:42,504
My name's Balder.
This is my brother, Thor.
448
00:28:42,504 --> 00:28:45,974
- And to take a hit like that,
you must be a god too.
- You are?
449
00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:48,576
This is Hercules.
My brother, Loki.
Hi.
450
00:28:48,576 --> 00:28:52,731
[ Sorbo ] But as we know,
goodness is always a target
for the forces of darkness.
451
00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,733
What do I do with this?
452
00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,235
[ Demonic Voice ]
With this,
you'll kill a god.
453
00:29:00,655 --> 00:29:03,725
Thor wanted to put
my fears to rest. He has.
454
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:06,578
I've been haunted
by empty fantasies.
455
00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:09,397
See for yourself.
Try to strike me dead.
456
00:29:12,567 --> 00:29:14,869
How about this?
457
00:29:14,869 --> 00:29:18,189
- [ Laughs ]
- You sure this is
what you want?
458
00:29:20,058 --> 00:29:23,094
There. Satisfied?
459
00:29:23,094 --> 00:29:25,730
- Thor.
- Balder!
460
00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:28,116
What happened to him?
He's dead.
461
00:29:28,116 --> 00:29:29,984
You killed him.
462
00:29:29,984 --> 00:29:33,555
[ Sorbo ] Now to get even
with Loki, Hercules is gonna
have to go through Thor.
463
00:29:33,555 --> 00:29:36,491
Loki killed your brother.
Liar!
464
00:29:36,491 --> 00:29:38,309
[ Grunting ]
465
00:29:38,309 --> 00:29:41,980
[ Sorbo ] But Herc's about
to discover that destiny's
been forcing his hand...
466
00:29:41,980 --> 00:29:44,182
since the moment he arrived.
467
00:29:44,182 --> 00:29:48,503
Somehow this paint affects fate.
You only paint what you see.
468
00:29:48,503 --> 00:29:53,274
But Loki painted
what he wanted to see.
And the paint made it happen.
469
00:29:53,274 --> 00:29:57,212
- Where did you get that?
- You stole yours from the
Norn. Used it to change fate.
470
00:30:03,518 --> 00:30:05,887
[ Shouting ]
471
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:18,099
[ Sorbo ]
See, Herc's always believed
that destiny's what you make it.
472
00:30:18,099 --> 00:30:21,953
Just because something's
written in ink doesn't mean
it's set in stone.
473
00:30:21,953 --> 00:30:25,023
Not this time. Catch.
474
00:30:25,023 --> 00:30:27,792
The dart was poisoned.
Loki just tried to kill you.
475
00:30:30,211 --> 00:30:33,047
I hate it when
a plan falls apart.
476
00:30:33,047 --> 00:30:36,751
[ Sorbo ]
So for the first time
in his life,
477
00:30:36,751 --> 00:30:39,254
Hercules finds a god
worth saving.
478
00:30:40,655 --> 00:30:42,657
Goodness gracious!
479
00:30:42,657 --> 00:30:47,645
How do you manage to paint
such a vivid picture of the
ancient Germanic territory, sir?
480
00:30:47,645 --> 00:30:51,132
I declare, it's like
you were actually there.
481
00:30:51,132 --> 00:30:53,134
I, uh, read a lot.
482
00:30:53,134 --> 00:30:55,119
Huh.
[ Insect Buzzing ]
483
00:30:55,119 --> 00:30:58,873
Wait a minute. Hercules saved
the Norse gods, but whoever
helped Loki's still out there.
484
00:30:58,873 --> 00:31:00,875
[ Jerry ]
Whoo, doggie.
485
00:31:00,875 --> 00:31:04,846
Looks like actor boy
don't know everything now,
does he?
486
00:31:04,846 --> 00:31:08,316
Actually, Jerry, I left
that open so we could build up
the mystery of a new villain...
487
00:31:08,316 --> 00:31:10,802
for the next episode.
488
00:31:13,805 --> 00:31:16,241
Are you two losers
done yet?
489
00:31:16,241 --> 00:31:18,743
Boo-yah!
490
00:31:18,743 --> 00:31:20,745
Now we're done.
491
00:31:20,745 --> 00:31:25,199
Go on with your epic,
Sorbolucci. We're all ears.
492
00:31:25,199 --> 00:31:29,654
Okay. Uh, what's the one thing
that Hercules fears the most?
493
00:31:29,654 --> 00:31:33,041
[ Water Dripping ]
494
00:31:33,041 --> 00:31:34,926
[ Melissa ]
Uh, oh, oh.
495
00:31:35,426 --> 00:31:38,162
[ Sorbo ]
Anybody?
496
00:31:39,497 --> 00:31:44,002
Losing the people
that he cares about.
[ All ] Oh.
497
00:31:44,002 --> 00:31:48,006
We could have this new villain
prey on that.
498
00:31:49,424 --> 00:31:51,926
What if Hercules returned
to Ireland...
499
00:31:51,926 --> 00:31:54,312
to say his last good-byes
to Morrigan?
500
00:31:54,312 --> 00:31:58,116
What will you be doing now?
I guess I'll head
back to Greece.
501
00:31:58,116 --> 00:32:01,502
After all that's happened,
I wonder if it'll still
feel like home.
502
00:32:01,502 --> 00:32:04,038
Then stay here with me.
503
00:32:04,038 --> 00:32:07,292
We could make this
our home together.
504
00:32:09,327 --> 00:32:11,829
Everybody
I get close to dies.
505
00:32:11,829 --> 00:32:14,332
What are you talking about?
My family, my friends,
they're all dead.
506
00:32:14,799 --> 00:32:17,201
I can't take the risk
that you'd follow them.
507
00:32:17,201 --> 00:32:20,788
[ Sorbo ] And who better
to give advice on matters
of the heart but an old friend?
508
00:32:21,322 --> 00:32:23,324
You were raised
a half-god among humans.
509
00:32:23,324 --> 00:32:25,827
She a half-human
among gods.
510
00:32:25,827 --> 00:32:27,712
Similar wounds
cause similar scars.
511
00:32:27,712 --> 00:32:31,666
What heals one wound--
Heals another.
512
00:32:31,666 --> 00:32:34,385
Maybe I taught you something
after all.
513
00:32:34,385 --> 00:32:38,356
[ Sorbo ] And so for the first
time in a long time, Hercules
could open his heart again.
514
00:32:38,356 --> 00:32:41,960
Was it just me,
or were you wanting
to say something?
515
00:32:43,344 --> 00:32:45,596
Um, just that...
516
00:32:48,483 --> 00:32:51,235
this is... nice.
517
00:32:51,235 --> 00:32:52,620
Hmm.
518
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,943
[ Sorbo ]
But of course, there's always
a calm before the storm.
519
00:33:02,447 --> 00:33:03,564
No!
520
00:33:08,119 --> 00:33:10,855
[ Screaming ]
521
00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:24,819
Who did this?
522
00:33:24,819 --> 00:33:27,755
He's from outside this world.
523
00:33:28,256 --> 00:33:30,625
A thing of evil
and incarnate darkness.
524
00:33:31,542 --> 00:33:33,861
Dahak.
525
00:33:33,861 --> 00:33:36,364
Mmm.
526
00:33:36,364 --> 00:33:39,867
But what do I know?
I'm just an actor.
527
00:33:39,867 --> 00:33:41,869
[ Chuckles ]
An actor with heart.
528
00:33:42,370 --> 00:33:44,372
Well, we got enough material
to get started.
529
00:33:44,372 --> 00:33:46,357
Pack your bags, folks,
'cause we're going home.
530
00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:49,777
-[ Jerry ] I heard that.
- I'm sorry, folks.
531
00:33:49,777 --> 00:33:52,030
I'm afraid I just
can't allow that.
532
00:33:52,313 --> 00:33:55,249
[ Gasps ]
[ Thunderclap ]
533
00:34:03,674 --> 00:34:06,677
[ Jerry ] I don't like
the looks of this, no, sir.
[ Sorbo ] Me neither.
534
00:34:06,677 --> 00:34:11,182
[ Tapert ] Quit pushing.
I don't wanna die.
Don't be shy, folks.
535
00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:14,635
No one will hear you
from deep in this
conveniently placed...
536
00:34:14,635 --> 00:34:17,055
and totally abandoned mine.
537
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:19,457
So feel free to scream
when I shoot ya.
538
00:34:19,457 --> 00:34:23,961
I can't believe it.
It was Sunny Day all along.
Why, Sunny, why?
539
00:34:23,961 --> 00:34:27,915
[ Chuckles ]
No, sirree. I have
watched too much TV...
540
00:34:27,915 --> 00:34:31,335
to reveal the motives
behind my dastardly plan
before I plug ya.
541
00:34:31,335 --> 00:34:35,807
I know now's not the best time,
but this gives me
a great story idea.
542
00:34:35,807 --> 00:34:38,776
Cough it up, Sorbs.
The sands are running.
543
00:34:38,776 --> 00:34:42,730
Who's the last person
in the world you'd expect
to betray Hercules?
544
00:34:45,733 --> 00:34:48,186
- Could you give us a minute?
- Make it quick.
545
00:34:50,638 --> 00:34:52,640
[ Chattering ]
546
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,642
[ Jerry ]
What about the kid?
It's gotta be the little guy.
547
00:34:55,143 --> 00:34:58,079
[ Tapert ]
I sign the paychecks.
That's what it's gonna be.
548
00:34:58,079 --> 00:35:01,966
Okay, I'll go along.
The rest of you block.
Okay, one, two, three. Break!
549
00:35:01,966 --> 00:35:03,968
[ Chuckling ]
550
00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:06,938
Falafel.
[ Buzzer Sounds ]
551
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:09,874
- That's not exactly
what I had in mind.
- Shoot!
552
00:35:09,874 --> 00:35:12,710
Well, who could it
possibly be?
553
00:35:12,710 --> 00:35:16,214
Dahak needed
a warrior heart
to enter the world, right?
554
00:35:16,214 --> 00:35:20,218
Well, what if Nebula
wasn't the only one who had
what he was looking for?
555
00:35:26,591 --> 00:35:29,277
[ Sorbo ]
The last person you'd expect
to betray Hercules...
556
00:35:29,277 --> 00:35:31,529
is the man he's been closest to
his whole life.
557
00:35:31,529 --> 00:35:33,531
Hercules. Boo.
558
00:35:33,531 --> 00:35:35,933
You may have his body,
but you're not Iolaus.
559
00:35:35,933 --> 00:35:39,303
Then who am I?
560
00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:43,341
I guess this is a question
everybody asks themselves sooner
or later. Don't you think?
561
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:51,098
All Dahak needed
was a warrior heart.
562
00:35:51,098 --> 00:35:56,103
So when little Iolaus
sacrificed himself
for the fair maiden Nebula,
563
00:35:56,103 --> 00:36:00,842
Dahak had everything
he needed.
564
00:36:00,842 --> 00:36:04,962
[ Sorbo ] And now Hercules
will face the most difficult
challenge of his life--
565
00:36:07,498 --> 00:36:10,168
trying to defeat
his best friend.
566
00:36:10,168 --> 00:36:12,553
On three--
Two.
One.
567
00:36:12,553 --> 00:36:15,006
[ Shouting ]
568
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,083
Hercules,
you've gotta help me.
569
00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:29,337
Please. Come on.
570
00:36:30,838 --> 00:36:34,308
[ Laughing ]
571
00:36:34,308 --> 00:36:37,261
[ Voice Deepens ]
I knew you couldn't kill me.
572
00:36:37,261 --> 00:36:40,982
You're still holding on
to what we were.
573
00:36:40,982 --> 00:36:44,218
Well, it's time to grow up.
574
00:36:44,218 --> 00:36:47,104
It will be a whole new day
in Greece, buddy.
575
00:36:47,104 --> 00:36:51,509
What happened?
He's headed for Greece.
576
00:36:51,509 --> 00:36:55,379
So why are we standing about?
Let's do some damage.
577
00:36:58,733 --> 00:37:02,236
All right then--
We stop Dahak together,
578
00:37:03,237 --> 00:37:05,723
or we die trying.
579
00:37:05,723 --> 00:37:08,226
But what do I know?
I'm just an actor.
580
00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:11,729
An actor with spunk.
An actor with pizzazz.
581
00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:14,215
An actor with ten seconds
to live.
582
00:37:14,215 --> 00:37:18,686
Well, it would have been
a great season if we'd
just lived to see it.
583
00:37:18,686 --> 00:37:21,138
Don't hurt them, Sunny.
584
00:37:23,090 --> 00:37:26,527
- Take me instead.
- With pleasure.
585
00:37:26,527 --> 00:37:28,746
- Say, sayonara, Sorbo.
- [ Groans ]
586
00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:31,098
- Kevin, no!
-[ Thunderclap ]
587
00:37:32,617 --> 00:37:34,318
Hey--
588
00:37:34,318 --> 00:37:37,188
[ Sunny ]
Oh, let go!
589
00:37:45,096 --> 00:37:48,799
-Let go!
- Don't fight it.
590
00:37:48,799 --> 00:37:50,384
[ Sunny ]
Oh, my God!
591
00:38:11,005 --> 00:38:13,975
Lord have mercy!
592
00:38:16,861 --> 00:38:19,764
[ Rumbling Stops ]
593
00:38:30,341 --> 00:38:32,810
Why'd you do it, Sunny?
594
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:35,046
Allow me.
595
00:38:38,699 --> 00:38:40,701
[ All ]
B.S. Hollinsfoffer!
596
00:38:42,653 --> 00:38:46,574
I would have gotten away
with it, too, if it hadn't been
for you meddling kids.
597
00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:50,428
- Kevin, how did you know?
- I'm glad you asked.
598
00:38:54,115 --> 00:38:56,617
It all started at lunch...
599
00:38:56,617 --> 00:39:00,638
when I caught wind
of a strange smell.
600
00:39:05,476 --> 00:39:07,478
[ Muttering ]
601
00:39:07,812 --> 00:39:11,816
[ Sorbo ] At first,
I thought it was Paul.
[ Stomach Gurgling ]
602
00:39:12,149 --> 00:39:14,819
But then I realized it was
a rare and untraceable poison...
603
00:39:14,819 --> 00:39:19,290
secreted only from the eyelids
of the Galapagos Island
lava lizards.
604
00:39:19,290 --> 00:39:22,693
That's why you knocked over
the stew-- to save our lives.
605
00:39:22,693 --> 00:39:24,762
[ Bell Dinging ]
That's right, Melissa.
606
00:39:25,096 --> 00:39:26,764
And on my way
to the sweat lodge,
the plot thickened...
607
00:39:27,098 --> 00:39:30,468
when I heard singing
coming from cabin number two.
608
00:39:30,801 --> 00:39:33,137
[ Man's Voice ]
dd Figaro, figaro
figaro, figaro dd
609
00:39:33,137 --> 00:39:35,473
dd Figaro, figa-- dddd
610
00:39:35,806 --> 00:39:37,808
[ Regular Voice ]
Oh, Kevin, what a surprise.
611
00:39:38,142 --> 00:39:41,479
I was just gonna meet you folks
at the sweat lodge.
I'll see you there.
612
00:39:41,812 --> 00:39:44,148
[ Sorbo ]
I thought Sunny
was just a tenor.
613
00:39:44,148 --> 00:39:47,485
But then it dawned on me.
Maybe she's not who
she claims to be.
614
00:39:47,818 --> 00:39:51,188
But how did you know
it was B.S. Hollinsfoffer?
615
00:39:51,188 --> 00:39:53,591
I didn't.
616
00:39:53,591 --> 00:39:57,261
Not until Sunny and Norma
came into the sweat lodge.
617
00:39:57,261 --> 00:40:00,264
[ Sorbo ]
When no one was looking,
she handed me a note.
618
00:40:00,264 --> 00:40:03,601
[ Sunny ]
Now, folks, this is what
we call a sweat lodge.
619
00:40:03,968 --> 00:40:06,937
It's a traditional
Navajo ritual.
620
00:40:06,937 --> 00:40:09,874
[ Sorbo ]
That's when I put it
all together.
621
00:40:09,874 --> 00:40:14,261
So, we know who Sunny is,
but who's Norma?
622
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:19,016
Studio security, sir.
623
00:40:19,016 --> 00:40:22,303
We knew we had a traitor on
the inside, but I couldn't make
my move until I was sure.
624
00:40:22,303 --> 00:40:25,239
Thought you could get
away with it, huh?
625
00:40:27,408 --> 00:40:31,378
You make me sick.
[ Groans ] I was gonna drive
you all to kill each other...
626
00:40:31,378 --> 00:40:34,281
with these
ridiculous group exercises
until Sorbo showed up.
627
00:40:34,281 --> 00:40:37,218
Then I realized I'd no choice
but to do the job myself.
628
00:40:37,218 --> 00:40:42,740
Leaves only question
to be asked--
Why'd you do it, B.S.?
629
00:40:42,740 --> 00:40:46,627
Because you've got
the world believing that good
always triumphs over evil.
630
00:40:46,627 --> 00:40:48,979
And I just can't have that.
631
00:40:48,979 --> 00:40:51,482
- Oh--
- My--
- God--
632
00:40:51,482 --> 00:40:53,968
- Of--
- War.
633
00:40:53,968 --> 00:40:57,938
Get used to it, Ares.
No matter what you do,
634
00:40:57,938 --> 00:41:00,341
no matter how hard you try,
you'll never break our spirits,
635
00:41:00,841 --> 00:41:03,844
because there's
a little Hercules in everyone
just waiting to come out.
636
00:41:03,844 --> 00:41:07,648
This is not over, people.
And, you.
637
00:41:08,649 --> 00:41:11,152
What a disappointment
you turned out to be.
Wait.
638
00:41:11,152 --> 00:41:14,455
- You promised me
my own network.
-Did I say that?
639
00:41:14,455 --> 00:41:16,323
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
640
00:41:16,824 --> 00:41:18,826
And I've always wanted
to say this, but...
641
00:41:18,826 --> 00:41:21,328
you will never work
in this town again.
642
00:41:27,685 --> 00:41:31,322
-[ Norma ] Let's go!
- You haven't seen
the last of me.
643
00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:34,725
- Wherever there's television,
there will always be B.S.!
- He's got that right.
644
00:41:34,725 --> 00:41:39,013
- [ Laughing, Groans ]
- Into the slammer, you traitor!
645
00:41:39,013 --> 00:41:43,450
Excuse me, but doesn't
it worry anyone that
the God of War is real?
646
00:41:43,450 --> 00:41:45,402
I find it kind
of comforting myself.
647
00:41:45,402 --> 00:41:49,256
I wonder if he's interested
in his own spin-off.
[ Paul ] Wait a minute.
648
00:41:49,256 --> 00:41:50,991
If Ares is real,
649
00:41:51,492 --> 00:41:53,994
doesn't that mean
there's a real Hercules
out there too?
650
00:42:02,786 --> 00:42:04,788
Don't look at me.
651
00:42:04,788 --> 00:42:06,790
I'm just an actor.
652
00:42:15,099 --> 00:42:17,868
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