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1
00:00:02,195 --> 00:00:03,895
- Ooh, thats doubles.
2
00:00:03,897 --> 00:00:05,777
- Jesus Christ.
3
00:00:05,784 --> 00:00:07,224
Since when did our favorite
coffee place
4
00:00:07,219 --> 00:00:08,719
become a suburban basement
from the 80s?
5
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:09,990
- I know right?
6
00:00:09,988 --> 00:00:11,618
Its like beanbags
and board games.
7
00:00:11,623 --> 00:00:13,063
You people are adults!
8
00:00:13,057 --> 00:00:14,627
- I saw an open chutes
and ladders over there,
9
00:00:14,626 --> 00:00:16,326
and not a single
ten-year-old to be found.
10
00:00:16,328 --> 00:00:18,158
- Jared from Subways
worst nightmare.
11
00:00:18,163 --> 00:00:19,633
- What do you think
haunts him more?
12
00:00:19,631 --> 00:00:21,631
His old giant jeans,
or his actions?
13
00:00:21,633 --> 00:00:23,843
- Oh, you sunk my battleship.
14
00:00:23,835 --> 00:00:25,395
- You burst my aneurysm.
15
00:00:25,404 --> 00:00:28,074
- Fuck this ironic daycare
center, okay?
16
00:00:28,072 --> 00:00:31,542
Is free personal space
in this city too much to ask?
17
00:00:31,543 --> 00:00:32,943
- You can go back
to the library.
18
00:00:32,944 --> 00:00:33,954
- Yeah, but youre
just gonna hit on
19
00:00:33,945 --> 00:00:35,375
all the hot homeless guys.
20
00:00:35,380 --> 00:00:37,720
- Try to think of it
as living al fresco.
21
00:00:37,716 --> 00:00:39,416
- Can you meet tomorrow?
- I cant.
22
00:00:39,418 --> 00:00:42,148
I have to go to Yeshiva for my
sister-in-laws graduation.
23
00:00:42,154 --> 00:00:45,164
Rucchel took a continuing ed
class in Yiddish poetry.
24
00:00:45,157 --> 00:00:46,227
- Oh, good.
25
00:00:46,225 --> 00:00:47,685
- Well, shell never be
out of work.
26
00:00:47,692 --> 00:00:49,032
Thats for sure.
27
00:00:49,027 --> 00:00:50,127
- Were not gonna get
any work done.
28
00:00:50,129 --> 00:00:51,359
Do you want to see a movie?
29
00:00:51,363 --> 00:00:52,663
- Yeah, what should we see?
30
00:00:52,664 --> 00:00:54,174
- I dont know,
Im sure Paul Feig
31
00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,666
has done an all-female reboot
of something
32
00:00:55,667 --> 00:00:57,037
that he didnt ask me
to audition for.
33
00:00:57,035 --> 00:00:58,635
- Oh, what about
a gay "Gremlins"?
34
00:00:58,637 --> 00:00:59,937
- Ooh, what about
a gay "Gremlins"?
35
00:00:59,938 --> 00:01:01,208
- Why havent
they done that yet?
36
00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:02,566
- I dont know.
Im listening.
37
00:01:02,574 --> 00:01:03,944
Tell me more.
- Everyones so homophobic,
38
00:01:03,942 --> 00:01:05,142
cant do gay "Gremlins."
39
00:01:05,144 --> 00:01:06,154
- Hey, guys.
40
00:01:06,145 --> 00:01:07,645
You sticking around
for Twister?
41
00:01:07,646 --> 00:01:08,676
I got to warn you though,
turns into
42
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:10,680
a real cuddle party sometimes.
43
00:01:13,585 --> 00:01:15,785
- Sorry.
44
00:01:15,787 --> 00:01:18,787
[driving punk rock music]
45
00:01:18,790 --> 00:01:20,230
♪ ♪
46
00:01:20,225 --> 00:01:21,625
- Hey, noods,
I was almost to the train
47
00:01:21,626 --> 00:01:23,156
when I realized I forgot
my squash stuff.
48
00:01:23,162 --> 00:01:25,162
[muffled moaning sounds,
buzzing]
49
00:01:25,164 --> 00:01:26,704
Noodles?
50
00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:36,610
Waterbug?
51
00:01:36,608 --> 00:01:40,478
[buzzing]
52
00:01:40,479 --> 00:01:42,079
- Yes.
53
00:01:42,081 --> 00:01:43,011
Arthur.
54
00:01:44,416 --> 00:01:46,016
- Okay.
55
00:01:57,362 --> 00:02:00,302
[buzzing]
56
00:02:01,733 --> 00:02:04,443
RUCCHEL: Hurry up in there.
Dont touch anything.
57
00:02:04,436 --> 00:02:05,966
Put paper on the seat.
58
00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:07,940
Renee, go block the door
for your sister.
59
00:02:07,939 --> 00:02:09,369
- I dont want to.
60
00:02:09,374 --> 00:02:12,714
She always says, "pish,
pish, pish" when she pees.
61
00:02:12,711 --> 00:02:13,781
I hate it.
62
00:02:13,778 --> 00:02:15,548
- Im pee shy.
63
00:02:15,547 --> 00:02:17,017
Like Uncle Billy.
64
00:02:17,015 --> 00:02:18,775
- Hey, that was told to you
in confidence.
65
00:02:18,783 --> 00:02:22,093
- Tal, Renee,
be gone.
66
00:02:22,087 --> 00:02:25,987
- This is so stupid.
67
00:02:25,990 --> 00:02:27,830
- What if we just drove away?
68
00:02:27,826 --> 00:02:29,526
- [chuckles]
69
00:02:29,528 --> 00:02:30,898
Billy, you hungry?
70
00:02:30,895 --> 00:02:32,325
Why dont you get yourself
a tuna sandwich
71
00:02:32,331 --> 00:02:33,201
from the cooler?
72
00:02:33,198 --> 00:02:34,768
Weve got kasha varniskas.
73
00:02:34,766 --> 00:02:36,296
Weve got Hydrox cookies.
74
00:02:36,301 --> 00:02:38,741
- Its a ten minute drive.
Im fine.
75
00:02:38,737 --> 00:02:41,067
- Do you realize what
a schlemiel your brother is?
76
00:02:41,072 --> 00:02:43,242
- I knew he worked
at Hasenpfeffer Incorporated,
77
00:02:43,242 --> 00:02:45,042
but I never knew--
- My graduating class
78
00:02:45,043 --> 00:02:46,983
was supposed to have our
poetry reading
79
00:02:46,978 --> 00:02:49,208
Thursday night,
but Garry screwed up
80
00:02:49,214 --> 00:02:50,984
booking the venue,
and now its canceled.
81
00:02:50,982 --> 00:02:52,352
It was so simple.
82
00:02:52,351 --> 00:02:54,251
A community center,
a restaurant.
83
00:02:54,253 --> 00:02:56,293
- Rucchel, if you want,
you can do your show
84
00:02:56,288 --> 00:02:57,558
at the café.
85
00:02:57,556 --> 00:02:59,516
Just please stop verbally
castrating my brother
86
00:02:59,524 --> 00:03:00,764
in front of me.
87
00:03:00,759 --> 00:03:02,289
- Thank you, Billy.
88
00:03:02,294 --> 00:03:04,264
- Thats very nice.
Thank you, Billy.
89
00:03:04,263 --> 00:03:05,563
- For Chrissake.
90
00:03:05,564 --> 00:03:07,274
[horn honks]
91
00:03:07,266 --> 00:03:10,096
Jesus.
92
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:13,112
You girls better be
fucking kidnapped!
93
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:15,305
- Garry, is everything with you
and Rucchel okay?
94
00:03:15,307 --> 00:03:17,407
- What?
Yeah, were fine.
95
00:03:17,409 --> 00:03:19,279
Its just marriage,
you know.
96
00:03:19,278 --> 00:03:20,848
- I dont know how you dont
tell her to back off.
97
00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:22,205
I would have to.
98
00:03:22,214 --> 00:03:23,624
Cool that you can just
roll over
99
00:03:23,615 --> 00:03:25,175
and eat shit, I guess.
100
00:03:25,184 --> 00:03:28,094
RUCCHEL: Lets move, before I go
full Casey Anthony.
101
00:03:28,087 --> 00:03:29,087
BILLY: What did you say
you got in here?
102
00:03:29,088 --> 00:03:31,758
Like tuna or something?
103
00:03:31,756 --> 00:03:33,126
JULIE: Knock, knock!
104
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,425
Hi.
105
00:03:34,426 --> 00:03:37,596
I brought your stuff
for your squash game tonight.
106
00:03:37,596 --> 00:03:42,826
You left it at home
in the bedroom earlier.
107
00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:44,074
- Thank you.
108
00:03:44,068 --> 00:03:45,738
- Youre welcome.
109
00:03:45,737 --> 00:03:47,067
- Okay, well, uh,
110
00:03:47,071 --> 00:03:48,671
Ill see you later,
111
00:03:48,673 --> 00:03:51,143
uh, in the apartment.
112
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,083
- Yes.
- Where we live.
113
00:03:53,077 --> 00:03:55,977
- Yep.
Im gonna go.
114
00:03:55,980 --> 00:03:59,350
- Bye.
- Bye.
115
00:03:59,351 --> 00:04:01,851
[sighs] Ladies room,
ladies room,
116
00:04:01,853 --> 00:04:04,263
office, office,
117
00:04:04,256 --> 00:04:07,726
everybodys got an office
besides me.
118
00:04:07,726 --> 00:04:09,556
Must be nice.
119
00:04:13,565 --> 00:04:17,565
Empty office...
120
00:04:17,569 --> 00:04:21,169
Hello, baby.
121
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,213
- And Arthur said we can
use this office?
122
00:04:23,208 --> 00:04:27,378
- Well, todays an awkward
day to ask Arthur anything.
123
00:04:27,379 --> 00:04:29,179
He caught me watching porn
this morning.
124
00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:31,281
- Really?
- Yeah.
125
00:04:31,283 --> 00:04:33,023
And now Im worried
about his feelings.
126
00:04:33,017 --> 00:04:34,817
Well,
worried is a little strong.
127
00:04:34,819 --> 00:04:37,189
Im worried that the world
will never really appreciate
128
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:38,719
how great of a singer
Ann Wilson is.
129
00:04:38,723 --> 00:04:41,133
Im concerned
about Arthurs feelings.
130
00:04:41,126 --> 00:04:42,556
- You know, once Garry caught me
watching porn,
131
00:04:42,561 --> 00:04:44,061
and ever since then,
he tries to set me up
132
00:04:44,062 --> 00:04:45,502
with Latin cab drivers.
133
00:04:45,497 --> 00:04:47,227
- I guess Arthur didnt expect
the porn I watch
134
00:04:47,232 --> 00:04:49,832
to be quite as crowded.
135
00:04:49,834 --> 00:04:51,374
- Well, yeah, I mean,
you watch
136
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:53,000
some really fucked-up shit.
137
00:04:53,004 --> 00:04:54,844
- If Im not horrified
and offended
138
00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:57,239
the minute Im done with it,
I dont bother seeking it out.
139
00:04:57,242 --> 00:04:59,112
- You know, I do like
the audition ones, though,
140
00:04:59,111 --> 00:05:01,151
you know, the ones where, like,
a guy shows up
141
00:05:01,146 --> 00:05:02,576
thinking hes gonna have sex
with a girl,
142
00:05:02,581 --> 00:05:04,551
and then he gets there,
and the directors like,
143
00:05:04,549 --> 00:05:06,619
"Well, the girl never
showed up,
144
00:05:06,618 --> 00:05:10,918
but my buddy Trevors already
here, so..."
145
00:05:10,922 --> 00:05:12,522
- You know who I hate
are those guys
146
00:05:12,524 --> 00:05:14,334
who think theyre so feminist
because they jerk off
147
00:05:14,326 --> 00:05:16,696
to porn starring women
with natural breasts
148
00:05:16,695 --> 00:05:17,795
and a big bush.
149
00:05:17,796 --> 00:05:19,096
Like, congratulations.
150
00:05:19,098 --> 00:05:21,028
- Ooh, are you talking
about porn?
151
00:05:21,032 --> 00:05:23,572
I love the cartoon category
on those sites.
152
00:05:23,568 --> 00:05:25,438
You know, sex should have
whimsy.
153
00:05:25,437 --> 00:05:27,237
Its so fun and fanciful
to watch Lilo
154
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,209
get punch-fucked by Stitch
or George Jetson
155
00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:30,438
with a mouthful of his dogs--
156
00:05:30,442 --> 00:05:31,742
- Matthew,
why havent you drowned
157
00:05:31,743 --> 00:05:33,313
in Bryan Singers pool yet?
158
00:05:33,312 --> 00:05:35,312
- I have a hard time watching
porn without seeing
159
00:05:35,314 --> 00:05:37,084
the work that goes into it.
160
00:05:37,082 --> 00:05:38,982
You guys know Ive been
in a few, right?
161
00:05:38,983 --> 00:05:40,453
- What?
- Are you serious?
162
00:05:40,452 --> 00:05:43,362
- Well, yeah, my screen name
was Blade Stallion.
163
00:05:43,355 --> 00:05:47,655
I was in "Thundercocks 4"
and "You Want It Where: Rio."
164
00:05:47,659 --> 00:05:48,859
Saw a lot of the world, man.
165
00:05:48,860 --> 00:05:50,400
Well, saw a lot of Rio.
166
00:05:50,395 --> 00:05:52,395
Me and India Summer
still play Words with Friends.
167
00:05:52,397 --> 00:05:54,297
- I am googling
Blade Stallion.
168
00:05:54,299 --> 00:05:56,539
- Already there,
and may I say,
169
00:05:56,535 --> 00:05:59,095
compliments to the chef.
170
00:05:59,104 --> 00:06:00,644
- Mine was bigger.
171
00:06:02,907 --> 00:06:04,107
BILLY: This place is perfect.
172
00:06:04,109 --> 00:06:05,479
Should we get
a coffee machine?
173
00:06:05,477 --> 00:06:07,407
- Lets get two
so theres never a line.
174
00:06:07,412 --> 00:06:08,652
- Yes.
175
00:06:08,647 --> 00:06:10,077
All right,
Im going to the restroom.
176
00:06:10,082 --> 00:06:11,682
What happens if I run
into Arthur?
177
00:06:11,683 --> 00:06:14,453
- We have to come in on off
hours so that we dont.
178
00:06:14,453 --> 00:06:15,823
- Got it.
179
00:06:15,820 --> 00:06:19,290
[cell phone ringing]
180
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,231
- Hey, Julie,
its your mother.
181
00:06:21,226 --> 00:06:23,756
Listen, I need you take
a moment out of your day
182
00:06:23,762 --> 00:06:25,162
and do something for me.
183
00:06:25,164 --> 00:06:26,604
One of my patients
has a daughter
184
00:06:26,598 --> 00:06:28,368
who just graduated from college,
and she wants
185
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:29,767
to get into show business.
186
00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:31,538
- I dont want to answer
a millenials
187
00:06:31,536 --> 00:06:32,796
career questions.
188
00:06:32,804 --> 00:06:34,244
- And Im not saying
youve accomplished
189
00:06:34,239 --> 00:06:36,069
enough to be giving
anyone advice,
190
00:06:36,074 --> 00:06:38,444
but the truth is,
my practice has been
191
00:06:38,443 --> 00:06:40,183
in a bit of a dip lately.
192
00:06:40,179 --> 00:06:41,679
I dont know why.
193
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,680
Ive been texting
far less during sessions.
194
00:06:43,682 --> 00:06:44,952
- So what?
195
00:06:44,949 --> 00:06:48,419
- Please, Julie,
see the girl, for me.
196
00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:50,920
- Yes, fine,
just dont call me again
197
00:06:50,922 --> 00:06:51,922
during office hours.
198
00:06:51,923 --> 00:06:53,363
- You have a job?
199
00:06:53,358 --> 00:06:55,188
MAN: Okay, were here
at your destination.
200
00:06:55,194 --> 00:06:57,404
The fare is $45.
201
00:06:57,396 --> 00:06:59,456
MAN: But I dont have
any money.
202
00:06:59,464 --> 00:07:01,904
MAN: Then Im gonna have to
fuck you, faggot.
203
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:03,640
- An unexpected turn.
204
00:07:03,635 --> 00:07:05,435
[knock at door]
205
00:07:07,772 --> 00:07:09,312
Garry.
- Billy.
206
00:07:09,308 --> 00:07:10,778
- What are you doing here?
207
00:07:10,775 --> 00:07:13,745
- I told Rucchel to back off.
208
00:07:13,745 --> 00:07:15,105
- And?
209
00:07:15,114 --> 00:07:17,824
- Well, I got a new lease
on life.
210
00:07:17,816 --> 00:07:21,116
And you just got
a new roommate.
211
00:07:24,723 --> 00:07:27,033
- I told her to back off,
just like you said.
212
00:07:27,025 --> 00:07:28,255
- No, I didnt say that.
213
00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:29,890
When did I say that?
Did I say that?
214
00:07:29,894 --> 00:07:31,304
No, no, no, no,
Garry,
215
00:07:31,296 --> 00:07:33,196
you have to call her
and apologize.
216
00:07:33,198 --> 00:07:34,468
- And eat more shit?
217
00:07:34,466 --> 00:07:35,266
No way.
218
00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:37,067
That Yiddish poetry class
219
00:07:37,068 --> 00:07:39,138
has just opened a Pandoras box
220
00:07:39,138 --> 00:07:41,468
of womens liberations
meshuggahs.
221
00:07:41,473 --> 00:07:43,213
Now Im a bachelor,
222
00:07:43,208 --> 00:07:44,608
and so is my baby brother.
223
00:07:44,609 --> 00:07:45,939
Weve got to go out
on the town,
224
00:07:45,944 --> 00:07:47,014
just like the skit.
225
00:07:47,011 --> 00:07:48,351
Remember the skit?
226
00:07:48,347 --> 00:07:51,177
"Too Wild and Crazy
Two and a Half Men."
227
00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:53,553
- That wasnt it.
228
00:07:53,552 --> 00:07:55,122
- So your brother moved in
with you,
229
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,620
and he didnt have the decency
to give us fair warning
230
00:07:57,622 --> 00:08:00,292
so we could pitch this
as a multi-cam to CBS?
231
00:08:00,292 --> 00:08:01,732
- Julie, I am in hell.
232
00:08:01,726 --> 00:08:04,256
He talked all night
about how he wanted to go out
233
00:08:04,263 --> 00:08:06,433
and party like its 1999,
234
00:08:06,431 --> 00:08:08,431
which makes me still
in the closet at home,
235
00:08:08,433 --> 00:08:09,533
you know, wondering how they
they were
236
00:08:09,534 --> 00:08:11,174
gonna wrap up
"Just Shoot Me!"
237
00:08:11,170 --> 00:08:13,810
I got, like, two hours
of sleep last night.
238
00:08:13,805 --> 00:08:15,005
- Me too.
239
00:08:15,006 --> 00:08:16,036
Actually, thats not true.
240
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,640
I got nine and a half.
241
00:08:17,642 --> 00:08:19,312
But its still super awkward
between me and Arthur
242
00:08:19,311 --> 00:08:21,111
since he freaked out
over that jizz festival
243
00:08:21,113 --> 00:08:22,283
he caught me watching.
244
00:08:22,281 --> 00:08:23,551
WOMAN: [clears throat]
245
00:08:23,548 --> 00:08:26,018
So did you have any advice,
or...
246
00:08:26,017 --> 00:08:27,817
- Oh, right.
Youre here.
247
00:08:27,819 --> 00:08:30,619
- Yeah, um, my mom
is friends with your mom.
248
00:08:30,622 --> 00:08:33,762
She said that you guys
work in show business.
249
00:08:33,758 --> 00:08:35,788
Any tips?
250
00:08:35,794 --> 00:08:37,034
I have a friend,
251
00:08:37,028 --> 00:08:40,198
shes got an internship
at "The Tonight Show."
252
00:08:40,199 --> 00:08:42,069
- Isnt it funny
how Jimmy Fallon
253
00:08:42,066 --> 00:08:43,296
slowly turned "The Tonight Show"
254
00:08:43,302 --> 00:08:44,742
into a childrens
birthday party?
255
00:08:44,736 --> 00:08:46,736
- Last night, he played
pin the tail on the donkey
256
00:08:46,738 --> 00:08:47,908
with Pussy Riot.
257
00:08:47,906 --> 00:08:49,266
- Right?
258
00:08:49,274 --> 00:08:50,444
Those games are a blast.
259
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,342
Id love to intern there.
260
00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:55,846
BILLY: Oh, really?
- Mm-hmm.
261
00:08:55,847 --> 00:08:58,717
- So youd like to work
for free?
262
00:08:58,717 --> 00:08:59,947
- Id love to.
263
00:08:59,951 --> 00:09:01,291
- We have an intern!
264
00:09:01,286 --> 00:09:03,956
Finally we can boss
someone around.
265
00:09:03,955 --> 00:09:05,285
- Okay, I-nez?
266
00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:06,990
- "Inez."
- I-nez?
267
00:09:06,991 --> 00:09:08,261
- "Inez."
- I-nez.
268
00:09:08,260 --> 00:09:09,790
- "Inez."
- Ined.
269
00:09:09,794 --> 00:09:12,204
- I have to say it like Ined.
- Just Inez is fine.
270
00:09:12,197 --> 00:09:13,967
JULIE: Thats a hard S?
- Inez.
271
00:09:13,965 --> 00:09:15,895
- Inez, were gonna need you
to get us meetings.
272
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:18,800
Were gonna need you
to get us generals, okay?
273
00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:20,173
- And pitches.
274
00:09:20,172 --> 00:09:22,912
We need to be pitching
constantly.
275
00:09:22,907 --> 00:09:24,837
- Mm-hmm.
- Do you understand, Inez?
276
00:09:24,843 --> 00:09:27,583
- And get a menu book, okay,
with options.
277
00:09:27,579 --> 00:09:29,749
- Yeah.
I need healthy options.
278
00:09:29,748 --> 00:09:30,848
I need ingredients.
279
00:09:30,849 --> 00:09:32,419
Im gonna make my own salad,
Inez.
280
00:09:32,417 --> 00:09:33,547
- Hes gonna make his own
salad, Inez.
281
00:09:33,552 --> 00:09:35,122
- Whos gonna stop me, you?
282
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,490
- Youre gonna get a menu,
and its gonna have
283
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,218
a make your own salad option.
284
00:09:38,223 --> 00:09:40,933
Theres gonna be proteins,
nuts and grains, seeds...
285
00:09:40,925 --> 00:09:43,325
- I want a nut,
and I want it green, Inez.
286
00:09:43,328 --> 00:09:45,528
- Legumes, Inez.
- I want an avocado.
287
00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:47,670
- Do you know what an avocado
is, Inez?
288
00:09:47,666 --> 00:09:48,826
- No.
289
00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:50,603
- Its a guacamole ingredient,
Inez,
290
00:09:50,602 --> 00:09:52,242
and he wants it in his salad.
291
00:09:52,237 --> 00:09:54,567
Its also very impor--
I notice
292
00:09:54,573 --> 00:09:56,073
youre not writing any
of this down.
293
00:09:56,074 --> 00:09:57,514
BILLY: Is it in your head?
294
00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:59,509
- Its very important
that you coordinate
295
00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:01,451
our schedules so that we dont
run into Arthur.
296
00:10:01,446 --> 00:10:03,216
Whos Arthur?
My boyfriend.
297
00:10:03,215 --> 00:10:04,345
He works here.
298
00:10:04,349 --> 00:10:06,349
- Um, do I get a desk?
299
00:10:06,351 --> 00:10:08,121
both: No!
- You dont get a desk.
300
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,550
Jesus Christ!
- Youre gonna sit on the floor.
301
00:10:09,554 --> 00:10:10,724
- Talk about an entitled
generation.
302
00:10:10,722 --> 00:10:12,362
- Youre gonna sit on the floor.
303
00:10:12,357 --> 00:10:14,087
- You are gonna love
sitting on the floor.
304
00:10:14,093 --> 00:10:16,263
- Mm.
- Im sorry?
305
00:10:16,261 --> 00:10:17,801
- [stutters]
306
00:10:17,796 --> 00:10:20,526
- By the way, this is just you
just paying your dues.
307
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,772
- Yeah, we all did this, Inez.
- We all did this.
308
00:10:22,767 --> 00:10:24,467
You shouldve seen
what I went through.
309
00:10:24,469 --> 00:10:25,999
- He interned for Conan.
310
00:10:26,004 --> 00:10:27,274
- Whos Conan?
311
00:10:27,272 --> 00:10:29,412
- Oh, my God!
- What?
312
00:10:29,408 --> 00:10:30,878
What is wrong with you?
313
00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:32,205
"Whos Conan?"
314
00:10:32,211 --> 00:10:33,681
- Oh, you mean James Corden?
315
00:10:33,678 --> 00:10:35,878
- Is that supposed
to be a joke?
316
00:10:37,649 --> 00:10:40,389
Mom, why are we at
the Museum of Sex?
317
00:10:40,385 --> 00:10:41,915
- Since my client load
has lessened
318
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,520
and your father went away
on that conference,
319
00:10:43,522 --> 00:10:45,322
Ive been visiting every museum
in the city
320
00:10:45,324 --> 00:10:46,594
in alphabetical order.
321
00:10:46,591 --> 00:10:48,691
Were up to S,
Museum of Sex.
322
00:10:48,693 --> 00:10:49,893
Here we are.
323
00:10:49,894 --> 00:10:51,764
- Right in front of the medieval
nipple clamps
324
00:10:51,763 --> 00:10:54,133
and the vibrators
from steampunk times
325
00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:55,873
you had to plug into a wall.
326
00:10:55,867 --> 00:10:59,397
- You know, Ive never been
with an uncircumcised man.
327
00:10:59,404 --> 00:11:00,814
Well, not sexually, of course.
328
00:11:00,805 --> 00:11:02,305
Ive shared an elevator
with Tomas,
329
00:11:02,307 --> 00:11:03,807
my old doorman.
330
00:11:03,808 --> 00:11:05,778
- I beg that you stop
talking about this.
331
00:11:05,777 --> 00:11:08,847
- Marital aids.
[chuckles]
332
00:11:08,847 --> 00:11:10,477
Give me a break.
333
00:11:10,482 --> 00:11:12,582
Any idiot knows the only
marital aid
334
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:15,094
that really works is keeping
an open dialogue
335
00:11:15,087 --> 00:11:16,187
with your partner.
336
00:11:16,188 --> 00:11:17,718
Secrets ruin couples.
337
00:11:17,722 --> 00:11:19,392
- Mom, Arthur and I had a--
338
00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:22,591
- Those people that wont
talk or listen to one another.
339
00:11:22,594 --> 00:11:24,204
- Mom--
- I mean, there are two people
340
00:11:24,196 --> 00:11:25,756
in every conversation,
one, two.
341
00:11:25,764 --> 00:11:27,734
- So--
- Give your partner a chance
342
00:11:27,732 --> 00:11:29,402
to speak.
- I had a question about--
343
00:11:29,401 --> 00:11:32,001
- Thats why Im good
at what I do.
344
00:11:32,003 --> 00:11:33,443
- Good talk, Mom.
345
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,110
Arthur, please, would you stop
being weird about this?
346
00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:40,381
- Im not being weird.
347
00:11:40,379 --> 00:11:41,909
Im reading Jonathan Franzen.
348
00:11:41,913 --> 00:11:44,553
Youre the one watching
your little secret movies.
349
00:11:44,549 --> 00:11:46,749
- Just because I can
compartmentalize
350
00:11:46,751 --> 00:11:48,951
doesnt mean
Im hiding secrets.
351
00:11:48,953 --> 00:11:51,363
I just think that theres
a time and a place for porn
352
00:11:51,356 --> 00:11:53,056
and a time and a place
for loving,
353
00:11:53,057 --> 00:11:55,487
get-to-the-point intercourse
with the person
354
00:11:55,494 --> 00:11:57,434
who makes omelets for you.
355
00:11:57,429 --> 00:11:59,529
- If its not a secret,
show me the porn
356
00:11:59,531 --> 00:12:00,701
you like to watch.
357
00:12:00,699 --> 00:12:02,029
Maybe Ill like it too.
358
00:12:02,033 --> 00:12:04,503
- I dont think thats
a good idea.
359
00:12:04,503 --> 00:12:06,213
Okay, okay, okay, okay, fine.
360
00:12:06,205 --> 00:12:08,465
But if I show you mine,
you have to show me yours.
361
00:12:08,473 --> 00:12:10,143
I want to see your porn too,
okay?
362
00:12:10,142 --> 00:12:14,052
- Sure.
Sounds fun.
363
00:12:14,045 --> 00:12:16,975
[moaning sounds]
364
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,460
[screaming]
365
00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:28,460
I thought you were a feminist.
366
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,030
Okay, okay.
367
00:12:30,028 --> 00:12:32,498
Do you guarantee that
what I just saw
368
00:12:32,497 --> 00:12:33,967
is not at all what you
want in bed?
369
00:12:33,965 --> 00:12:35,265
- Of course not.
370
00:12:35,267 --> 00:12:36,537
Youre not a football team,
371
00:12:36,535 --> 00:12:38,165
and I havent been abducted.
372
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:39,170
Now its your turn.
373
00:12:39,171 --> 00:12:40,171
Fair is fair.
374
00:12:40,172 --> 00:12:41,272
You show me your porn now.
375
00:12:41,273 --> 00:12:44,343
- Okay.
376
00:12:44,343 --> 00:12:46,283
- Aw, the sweater drawer.
377
00:12:46,278 --> 00:12:47,878
- Mm-hmm.
378
00:12:52,016 --> 00:12:53,346
Et voila.
379
00:12:53,352 --> 00:12:55,452
- Aw, you still like magazines.
380
00:12:55,454 --> 00:12:57,424
- Medium was impressed
upon me in my youth.
381
00:12:57,422 --> 00:13:00,562
- "Redhead Fever"?
382
00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,099
"Pale Babes
In Their Mid-30s"?
383
00:13:03,095 --> 00:13:05,395
"Jewish Girls
with Big Naturals"?
384
00:13:05,397 --> 00:13:08,167
Arthur, all these girls
look like me.
385
00:13:08,167 --> 00:13:09,627
- Well, this girl
doesnt look like you.
386
00:13:09,634 --> 00:13:11,004
She has a tattoo.
387
00:13:11,002 --> 00:13:12,972
- I showed you
a brutal gangbang video,
388
00:13:12,971 --> 00:13:15,011
and youre showing me
this quaint
389
00:13:15,006 --> 00:13:16,676
parade of doppelgangers?
390
00:13:16,675 --> 00:13:18,675
- Im sorry I like looking
at naked redheads
391
00:13:18,677 --> 00:13:20,247
in their 30s who went
to Hebrew school.
392
00:13:20,245 --> 00:13:21,775
- Ugh!
393
00:13:21,780 --> 00:13:23,180
- Im sure plenty of girls
would be thrilled
394
00:13:23,182 --> 00:13:24,952
that their boyfriends
like porn that bears
395
00:13:24,949 --> 00:13:27,089
a proximate resemblance
to their real partners
396
00:13:27,086 --> 00:13:28,486
or their actual sex life.
397
00:13:28,487 --> 00:13:30,717
- Porn that resembles
your actual sex life
398
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:33,162
is like going to a foreign land
and eating
399
00:13:33,158 --> 00:13:34,728
at a chain restaurant.
400
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:37,056
Youre in Morocco.
Youre on safari with Ken Burns.
401
00:13:37,061 --> 00:13:39,461
Why the fuck
are you at a Burger King?
402
00:13:39,464 --> 00:13:42,474
- I dont need to be yelled at
for liking what I like.
403
00:13:44,769 --> 00:13:46,469
Im sorry
if my sexual peccadilloes
404
00:13:46,471 --> 00:13:48,041
are too bland for you.
405
00:13:48,039 --> 00:13:50,509
- And Im sorry that I like
masturbating
406
00:13:50,509 --> 00:13:52,479
to filthy, disgusting garbage.
407
00:13:55,180 --> 00:13:57,780
- Wait, so "Juggy, Jewish
Gingers" is a real magazine?
408
00:13:57,782 --> 00:13:59,552
Graydon Carter
must be branching out.
409
00:13:59,551 --> 00:14:01,651
- Im just concerned
that maybe me and Arthur
410
00:14:01,653 --> 00:14:03,263
not liking the same porn
is underlying
411
00:14:03,255 --> 00:14:05,355
some bigger differences I didnt
know we had.
412
00:14:05,357 --> 00:14:08,157
- Well, look, just please
dont break up right now.
413
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,430
Garry kept me up all night.
414
00:14:09,428 --> 00:14:10,958
He took out our
high school yearbook,
415
00:14:10,962 --> 00:14:13,602
and he was going through it
and ranking the girls
416
00:14:13,598 --> 00:14:15,228
by caboose.
417
00:14:15,234 --> 00:14:16,304
- Jesus.
418
00:14:16,301 --> 00:14:17,641
Inez, wheres the menu book?
419
00:14:17,636 --> 00:14:19,266
- I already put in
your dinner order.
420
00:14:19,271 --> 00:14:21,171
- Yeah, well, were gonna
need a second dinner also.
421
00:14:21,173 --> 00:14:23,483
Did you start a Seamless account
with your credit card
422
00:14:23,475 --> 00:14:24,575
like we asked you to do?
423
00:14:24,576 --> 00:14:26,076
- Um, yes, uh...
424
00:14:26,077 --> 00:14:27,407
You guys are gonna
reimburse me--
425
00:14:27,412 --> 00:14:29,152
- Hey, quick question, Inez.
426
00:14:29,148 --> 00:14:31,078
Whats with all the clicking
and clacking on the keyboard?
427
00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:32,223
- Hmm, yes.
428
00:14:32,217 --> 00:14:33,447
Its not the clicking
I mind so much
429
00:14:33,452 --> 00:14:34,952
as the clacking.
430
00:14:34,953 --> 00:14:36,563
- Its the clacking.
Its the clacking.
431
00:14:36,555 --> 00:14:39,155
- Im just taking notes
for this thing Im writing.
432
00:14:39,158 --> 00:14:41,658
- Oh, a thing youre writing,
like, for yourself?
433
00:14:41,660 --> 00:14:43,630
- Oh, hello, Eve.
434
00:14:43,628 --> 00:14:45,528
- Hi, Inez, hi.
435
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:47,770
Inez, let me make
one thing clear.
436
00:14:47,766 --> 00:14:49,096
When youre in our office,
437
00:14:49,101 --> 00:14:50,641
you dont work
on your own bullcrap.
438
00:14:50,635 --> 00:14:51,965
- No, if you need something
to do,
439
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:54,210
get us some more generals
on the calendar.
440
00:14:54,206 --> 00:14:56,536
- We got to get Garry
back together with Rucchel.
441
00:14:56,541 --> 00:14:57,741
Its not gonna be easy.
442
00:14:57,742 --> 00:14:59,712
Rucchel is one of those
stubborn
443
00:14:59,711 --> 00:15:02,281
tiny Jewish women who take
everything
444
00:15:02,281 --> 00:15:03,721
as a personal offense.
445
00:15:03,715 --> 00:15:05,375
- Well, then well just
find a stubborner
446
00:15:05,384 --> 00:15:07,494
tinier Jewish-er woman
whos always on the defensive
447
00:15:07,486 --> 00:15:09,816
cause shes only thinking
about herself all the time.
448
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,261
- Who are we gonna find
thats tough enough
449
00:15:11,256 --> 00:15:13,656
and who has the time
to deal with all of that?
450
00:15:13,658 --> 00:15:15,628
- You know, this alphabetical
tour of museums
451
00:15:15,627 --> 00:15:17,427
has really broadened
by horizons.
452
00:15:17,429 --> 00:15:20,869
Who knew there were six floors
at the Museum of Tarps?
453
00:15:20,865 --> 00:15:22,925
- So, Mom, we need your help.
454
00:15:22,934 --> 00:15:25,874
- Yeah, my brother and his wife
are having marital problems.
455
00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:28,140
- And you came to me?
456
00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:30,780
This is just the boost
I needed.
457
00:15:30,775 --> 00:15:33,775
Oh, isnt it funny
how your own children
458
00:15:33,778 --> 00:15:36,578
dont know what you need,
but you did, Billy.
459
00:15:36,581 --> 00:15:39,421
You did.
460
00:15:39,418 --> 00:15:44,218
WOMAN: ♪ I love it when you
call me baby, baby ♪
461
00:15:44,223 --> 00:15:47,093
- Billy, come here.
Watch me nae nae!
462
00:15:47,092 --> 00:15:50,762
- No.
463
00:15:50,762 --> 00:15:53,902
WOMAN: ♪ Knew that there was
something special ♪
464
00:15:53,898 --> 00:15:57,598
♪ When I looked
into your eyes ♪
465
00:15:57,602 --> 00:15:59,972
♪ It was magic ♪
466
00:15:59,971 --> 00:16:01,741
♪ Cant stop,
cant stop ♪
467
00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:03,510
♪ Baby, whatd you do to me ♪
468
00:16:03,508 --> 00:16:05,038
♪ Feeling so in love ♪
469
00:16:05,043 --> 00:16:06,853
♪ Ooh, you making me believe ♪
470
00:16:06,845 --> 00:16:08,605
♪ Hope when we kiss,
God ♪
471
00:16:08,613 --> 00:16:10,653
♪ Youll wake me
from this fantasy ♪
472
00:16:10,649 --> 00:16:13,649
♪ From this fantasy ♪
473
00:16:13,652 --> 00:16:15,252
♪ Cant stop ♪
474
00:16:15,254 --> 00:16:18,524
♪ You know I cant stop,
know I cant stop ♪
475
00:16:18,523 --> 00:16:20,493
♪ You know I cant stop ♪
476
00:16:20,492 --> 00:16:22,392
♪ Cant stop ♪
477
00:16:22,394 --> 00:16:23,534
♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪
478
00:16:23,528 --> 00:16:26,698
♪ Whoa-oh-oh,
ooh-ooh ♪
479
00:16:26,698 --> 00:16:28,468
♪ We cant stop ♪
480
00:16:28,467 --> 00:16:29,727
- [screams]
- Ah! What?
481
00:16:29,734 --> 00:16:31,004
What are you doing here?
482
00:16:31,002 --> 00:16:32,572
- Im on time according
to the schedule
483
00:16:32,571 --> 00:16:34,041
you made me make.
484
00:16:34,038 --> 00:16:35,768
- Well, I didnt ask you
to do anything, Inez.
485
00:16:35,774 --> 00:16:38,684
No one made you do anything.
486
00:16:38,677 --> 00:16:40,377
- Are you homeless?
487
00:16:40,379 --> 00:16:42,109
- No, Im not homeless.
488
00:16:42,114 --> 00:16:42,954
- Im sorry.
489
00:16:42,947 --> 00:16:44,347
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
490
00:16:44,349 --> 00:16:46,649
what the hell are you doing
in my office?
491
00:16:46,651 --> 00:16:48,251
- Oh, my God,
its Ken Burns.
492
00:16:51,690 --> 00:16:53,530
- I go away for ten days
with my crew,
493
00:16:53,525 --> 00:16:55,185
and I come back,
and I find this squatter
494
00:16:55,194 --> 00:16:56,734
in my office.
495
00:16:56,728 --> 00:16:58,428
- Your office?
496
00:16:58,430 --> 00:16:59,860
- Mr. Burns,
I am so sorry,
497
00:16:59,864 --> 00:17:01,774
but I have to say,
Im Billy Epstein.
498
00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:03,766
Im a huge fan.
499
00:17:03,768 --> 00:17:06,238
- I, too,
am a huge fan of your work.
500
00:17:06,238 --> 00:17:07,808
- Inez, dont talk
to Ken Burns.
501
00:17:07,806 --> 00:17:10,176
- Yes, sir.
502
00:17:10,175 --> 00:17:11,775
I love "The Ken Burns Effect"
so much.
503
00:17:11,776 --> 00:17:12,936
- Get out.
504
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,484
- Get out!
Did you hear Ken Burns?
505
00:17:14,479 --> 00:17:17,279
He said get out.
- Both of you.
506
00:17:17,282 --> 00:17:18,752
- God damn it, Inez.
507
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:23,920
- You were right
about sex and porn.
508
00:17:23,922 --> 00:17:26,162
- Lets keep kosher.
509
00:17:26,158 --> 00:17:28,158
Sex is something
we enjoy together,
510
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,660
but porn should stay private.
511
00:17:30,662 --> 00:17:33,602
- Privacy is good.
Secrets are bad.
512
00:17:33,598 --> 00:17:35,468
- Yeah.
Hey.
513
00:17:35,467 --> 00:17:38,067
I have a third dinner
that I brought home from work.
514
00:17:38,069 --> 00:17:41,709
Do you want to fuck again
and then split it?
515
00:17:41,706 --> 00:17:43,406
- Youre goddamn right I do.
516
00:17:47,546 --> 00:17:49,976
- Thank you for helping me
move the stuff out of my office,
517
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:52,681
well, Ken Burns office.
518
00:17:52,684 --> 00:17:56,124
- Billy, how do you get caught
sleeping in the office
519
00:17:56,121 --> 00:17:58,391
of Americas most beloved
documentarian?
520
00:17:58,390 --> 00:17:59,960
I mean, you should know
better than that.
521
00:17:59,958 --> 00:18:01,288
- No, I shouldnt.
522
00:18:01,293 --> 00:18:03,103
Youre the brother
that knows better.
523
00:18:03,095 --> 00:18:05,195
Garry, I know youre trying
to put up a big front
524
00:18:05,197 --> 00:18:06,927
about how much you like
being single,
525
00:18:06,931 --> 00:18:08,731
but I hear you snore-crying
at night.
526
00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:10,273
Be honest.
527
00:18:10,269 --> 00:18:12,669
- I guess I just get
embarrassed.
528
00:18:12,671 --> 00:18:14,141
You know, you always say
that I roll over
529
00:18:14,139 --> 00:18:15,909
and eat shit and all that.
530
00:18:15,907 --> 00:18:17,237
And I dont know,
Im your older brother.
531
00:18:17,242 --> 00:18:19,112
I want you to think Im cool.
532
00:18:19,111 --> 00:18:26,051
- Garry, I am never going
to think youre cool ever.
533
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:27,590
Ever.
534
00:18:27,586 --> 00:18:31,116
So you can just
let that go.
535
00:18:31,123 --> 00:18:32,663
- I think I miss Rucchel.
536
00:18:32,657 --> 00:18:34,257
- Yes!
Yes!
537
00:18:34,259 --> 00:18:35,389
Oh, thank God.
538
00:18:35,394 --> 00:18:37,534
Yes, Garry, of course
you miss Rucchel.
539
00:18:37,529 --> 00:18:39,259
You and Rucchel
belong together.
540
00:18:39,264 --> 00:18:43,804
Youre like challah and a plate.
541
00:18:43,802 --> 00:18:45,202
- Ha, ha.
542
00:18:45,204 --> 00:18:47,274
- So youre gonna
come with me tomorrow
543
00:18:47,272 --> 00:18:49,842
to Rucchels poetry show
at the cafe,
544
00:18:49,841 --> 00:18:51,181
and you have to talk to her.
545
00:18:51,176 --> 00:18:53,576
So what does Rucchel like
that you do?
546
00:18:53,578 --> 00:18:56,418
- She likes it when I dust off
the front of the TV.
547
00:18:56,415 --> 00:18:58,515
She thinks its funny cause
it doesnt really do anything.
548
00:18:58,517 --> 00:19:00,417
Shes like, "Youre just moving
dust around."
549
00:19:00,419 --> 00:19:05,059
What if I bring the TV in and
dust it off in front of her?
550
00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:06,926
I mean, its huge.
551
00:19:06,925 --> 00:19:08,955
- All right, this is not
a productive conversation.
552
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,960
[rock music]
553
00:19:12,964 --> 00:19:15,274
Hey, thank you so much
for doing this.
554
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:16,637
Garry will be here
in a second.
555
00:19:16,635 --> 00:19:18,165
- Which one is Rucchel?
556
00:19:18,170 --> 00:19:19,900
- Shes the one whose resting
face is somewhere
557
00:19:19,904 --> 00:19:23,584
between a withering scowl
and a suffering grimace.
558
00:19:23,575 --> 00:19:25,775
- Im gonna need you to be
a lot more specific.
559
00:19:25,777 --> 00:19:28,277
- Shes right over there in the
corner setting up the mic.
560
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,120
- You can do it, Mom.
- I know.
561
00:19:32,984 --> 00:19:35,194
Hi, Rucchel?
562
00:19:35,187 --> 00:19:37,187
Im Dr. Marilyn Kessler.
563
00:19:37,189 --> 00:19:39,959
Im a therapist
and relationship expert.
564
00:19:39,958 --> 00:19:42,528
I also testify in court
on behalf of cases
565
00:19:42,527 --> 00:19:44,697
involving mental illness,
but this isnt
566
00:19:44,696 --> 00:19:46,026
about my extensive résumé.
567
00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:47,500
- What do you want?
568
00:19:47,499 --> 00:19:49,729
- I understand you and your
husband have separated,
569
00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:51,474
and I can help you.
570
00:19:51,470 --> 00:19:54,840
- I dont see how my marriage
is any of your fucking business.
571
00:19:54,839 --> 00:19:58,109
- Look, I have no personal
investment in the situation.
572
00:19:58,110 --> 00:19:59,780
Ive got a husband.
573
00:19:59,778 --> 00:20:03,248
- Oh, excuse me?
- Excuse me.
574
00:20:03,248 --> 00:20:05,178
- Excuse me?
- Excuse me.
575
00:20:05,184 --> 00:20:07,224
- Excuse me?
- Excuse me?
576
00:20:07,219 --> 00:20:09,619
- Excuse me!
- Excuse me.
577
00:20:09,621 --> 00:20:11,521
- Excuse me?
- Excuse me.
578
00:20:11,523 --> 00:20:13,393
both: Excuse me.
579
00:20:13,392 --> 00:20:14,962
- I think you heard me.
580
00:20:14,959 --> 00:20:16,699
- Listen, you Bergdorf bitch.
581
00:20:16,695 --> 00:20:18,895
The only reason Garry
doesnt live with us anymore
582
00:20:18,897 --> 00:20:20,697
is because he diminishes
my accomplishments
583
00:20:20,699 --> 00:20:23,239
and told me to back off
in front of our children.
584
00:20:23,235 --> 00:20:25,195
- He did what?
- Yep.
585
00:20:25,204 --> 00:20:27,644
- And after I graduated,
did he ever lift
586
00:20:27,639 --> 00:20:30,179
one of his fat hairy fingers
to write me a note
587
00:20:30,175 --> 00:20:32,635
or send flowers or say,
"Mazel tov, Rucchel"?
588
00:20:32,644 --> 00:20:36,254
- You graduated from a
continuing education program,
589
00:20:36,248 --> 00:20:38,748
and he didnt buy you flowers?
590
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:40,250
- Not even a fucking carnation.
591
00:20:40,252 --> 00:20:42,352
- Oh, that piece of shit.
592
00:20:42,354 --> 00:20:44,524
- Hello, ladies.
- Here he is,
593
00:20:44,523 --> 00:20:46,193
Garry the piece of shit.
594
00:20:46,191 --> 00:20:49,661
- Oh, hello, Garry,
you piece of shit.
595
00:20:49,661 --> 00:20:53,601
I hope you came here
to say something to your wife.
596
00:20:53,598 --> 00:20:55,428
- I did.
597
00:20:55,434 --> 00:20:58,644
Rucchel, please, please
take me back.
598
00:20:58,637 --> 00:21:00,537
I did something stupid.
599
00:21:00,539 --> 00:21:02,609
And if you could tell me
just how stupid
600
00:21:02,607 --> 00:21:05,237
over and over and over
for the rest of my life,
601
00:21:05,244 --> 00:21:09,454
Id be the happiest schlimazel
in all of Suffolk County.
602
00:21:09,448 --> 00:21:15,588
- Rucchel, I want you to look
in Garrys eyes,
603
00:21:15,587 --> 00:21:20,927
and I want you tell him,
"I want you back."
604
00:21:24,263 --> 00:21:26,133
- Yeah, sure, come back.
Whatever.
605
00:21:30,602 --> 00:21:32,302
- My work is done.
606
00:21:37,609 --> 00:21:41,409
- My poem is dedicated
to my husband, Garry.
607
00:21:41,413 --> 00:21:43,883
Hes stupid, but Im not gonna
do any better.
608
00:21:43,882 --> 00:21:46,622
Look at me.
609
00:21:46,618 --> 00:21:50,718
A dybbuk, a dybbuk,
a dybbuk, a dybbuk.
610
00:21:50,722 --> 00:21:54,062
Oh, yes, I swear.
I wouldnt fib-buk.
611
00:21:54,058 --> 00:21:55,388
- Whats a dybbuk?
612
00:21:55,394 --> 00:21:57,564
- Oh, its like
a Jewish demon.
613
00:21:57,562 --> 00:21:58,832
- Think Jill Zarin.
614
00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:00,200
- You know,
I met a Jewish once.
615
00:22:00,199 --> 00:22:01,769
I was doing a production
of "Fiddler,"
616
00:22:01,766 --> 00:22:04,236
broke my ankle, and Im pretty
sure the doctor was one.
617
00:22:04,236 --> 00:22:08,206
- Shut the fuck up!
618
00:22:08,207 --> 00:22:13,747
Dybbuk, dybbuk, dybbuk.
619
00:22:13,745 --> 00:22:15,545
Thank you.
620
00:22:15,547 --> 00:22:19,117
[applause]
621
00:22:19,118 --> 00:22:20,548
- Congratulations, Mom.
622
00:22:20,552 --> 00:22:22,652
You saved a marriage.
Youre back in business.
623
00:22:22,654 --> 00:22:24,124
- Its what I do.
624
00:22:24,123 --> 00:22:26,363
By the way, Julie,
I want to thank you very much
625
00:22:26,358 --> 00:22:28,588
for helping my patients
daughter, Inez.
626
00:22:28,593 --> 00:22:31,163
I dont know what kind of advice
you gave her,
627
00:22:31,163 --> 00:22:33,173
but she is doing great.
628
00:22:33,165 --> 00:22:35,365
- Really?
- She sold a novel.
629
00:22:35,367 --> 00:22:37,697
Its like a "Devil Wears Prada"
kind of thing
630
00:22:37,702 --> 00:22:39,102
about a job from hell.
631
00:22:39,104 --> 00:22:40,574
Its got a cute title.
632
00:22:40,572 --> 00:22:43,182
"Ginger and the Queen."
633
00:22:43,175 --> 00:22:45,035
- Which one am I?
634
00:22:45,043 --> 00:22:46,913
- Here you go, tapshoe.
635
00:22:46,911 --> 00:22:48,981
- Oh, Arthur,
Ive been meaning to tell you,
636
00:22:48,980 --> 00:22:50,480
you might be hearing
from Ken Burns,
637
00:22:50,482 --> 00:22:53,192
and if you do,
just ignore it.
638
00:22:53,185 --> 00:22:55,215
Ken Burns, everyone knows
is like a huge liar.
639
00:22:55,220 --> 00:22:58,660
Yeah, he has a problem.
He lies, so just...
640
00:22:58,657 --> 00:23:00,127
- Hey.
641
00:23:00,125 --> 00:23:01,485
Great job, Rucchel.
642
00:23:01,493 --> 00:23:03,233
You can come back any time
you want to do
643
00:23:03,228 --> 00:23:05,358
more Jewish poems.
644
00:23:05,364 --> 00:23:08,574
- Garry, Garry, look.
Look who it is, look.
645
00:23:08,567 --> 00:23:09,967
- Oh, my God.
646
00:23:09,968 --> 00:23:11,838
Thundercock himself.
647
00:23:11,836 --> 00:23:14,066
Blade Stallion, right?
- Yeah.
648
00:23:14,072 --> 00:23:17,112
- You have brought so much joy
to our marriage.
649
00:23:17,109 --> 00:23:18,339
- Oh, thank you.
650
00:23:18,343 --> 00:23:20,153
- I could quote your movies.
651
00:23:20,145 --> 00:23:22,505
But I wont,
but I could.
652
00:23:22,514 --> 00:23:23,854
But I wont.
653
00:23:23,848 --> 00:23:24,918
But I could.
654
00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:26,446
- My name is Marilyn Kessler,
655
00:23:26,451 --> 00:23:29,251
and now, with no musical
accompaniment,
656
00:23:29,254 --> 00:23:33,294
Id like to sing
"Send in the Clowns."
657
00:23:35,994 --> 00:23:39,004
[driving punk rock music]
658
00:23:38,997 --> 00:23:47,137
♪ ♪
46955
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