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1
00:00:05,051 --> 00:00:09,055
[ Chattering ]
2
00:00:12,442 --> 00:00:15,945
Make sure you account
for every dinar, Salmoneus.
[ Coin Clinking ]
3
00:00:15,945 --> 00:00:19,449
My brother intends
distributing them to the poor.
4
00:00:19,449 --> 00:00:23,453
To thepoor?I mean,
[ Adjusts Tone ]
to the poor.
5
00:00:23,453 --> 00:00:26,456
May they always benefit
from the king's generosity.
6
00:00:26,956 --> 00:00:29,459
Yes, he always
had a big heart.
7
00:00:29,959 --> 00:00:32,862
Why, I remember
when we were little,
[ Coins Clinking ]
8
00:00:32,862 --> 00:00:34,864
he gave my toys
to the servants' children.
9
00:00:35,365 --> 00:00:38,868
What an...
inspiration to us all.
10
00:00:38,868 --> 00:00:41,771
Uh-huh.
Um, I ought to get back
to work.
11
00:00:42,272 --> 00:00:44,774
I promised King Pholus
I'd be done by the time
he finished his nap.
12
00:00:44,774 --> 00:00:47,227
[ Laughing ]
13
00:00:49,729 --> 00:00:51,731
Don't worry.
14
00:00:51,731 --> 00:00:54,234
I'm sure you'll have
plenty of time.
15
00:00:56,736 --> 00:00:59,739
[ Whistling ]
16
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:09,866
Alone at last,
just the million of us.
17
00:01:09,866 --> 00:01:12,368
And though we
can't be together for long,
18
00:01:12,869 --> 00:01:16,372
we'll always remember
the time we shared.
19
00:01:16,372 --> 00:01:18,875
[ Clattering ]
20
00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:20,877
Who's there?
21
00:01:24,797 --> 00:01:26,799
I warn ya!
I know Hercules!
22
00:01:26,799 --> 00:01:30,303
If anything happens to me,
he's gonna be very upset.
23
00:01:33,756 --> 00:01:36,576
[ Yells ]
Hey.
What's the big idea?
24
00:01:36,576 --> 00:01:38,561
Please.
I'm only the king's
accountant.
25
00:01:38,561 --> 00:01:40,563
Take the money!
Just leave my commission,
okay?
26
00:01:40,563 --> 00:01:44,567
I'll do anything.
[ Whimpers ]
You can
start by letting go of my leg.
27
00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:47,036
Your leg?
Of course.
28
00:01:47,537 --> 00:01:50,006
[ Hawks, Spits ]
Shoeshine,
Your Mercifulness?
29
00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:53,009
The name's Autolycus.
Perhaps you've heard of me?
[ Leather Squeaking ]
30
00:01:53,510 --> 00:01:55,495
Who?
31
00:01:55,995 --> 00:01:59,449
Oh, the King of Thieves!
It's an honor to be robbed
by you, sir.
32
00:01:59,949 --> 00:02:01,451
Think nothing of it,
my good man.
33
00:02:01,951 --> 00:02:04,888
You say you know Hercules.
Me, Salmoneus,
know Hercules?
34
00:02:04,888 --> 00:02:07,891
We're the best of friends,
like strawberries and cream,
35
00:02:07,891 --> 00:02:10,393
apples and honey,
Peaches and Herb.
36
00:02:10,393 --> 00:02:12,695
Funny,
he never mentioned you.
Really?
37
00:02:12,695 --> 00:02:16,699
[ Laughs ] Listen, since we got
the big guy in common, you're
not gonna hurt me, are ya?
38
00:02:16,699 --> 00:02:19,202
Well, that depends
on you now, doesn't it?
39
00:02:19,202 --> 00:02:22,205
You can either stand here
and watch me take this money,
40
00:02:22,205 --> 00:02:25,708
or I can club you over the head,
and I'll take it anyway.
41
00:02:27,210 --> 00:02:29,712
What was the first part,
again?
[ Man Screaming ]
42
00:02:32,215 --> 00:02:35,184
[ Gasping ]
[ Salmoneus ]
King Pholus!
43
00:02:35,184 --> 00:02:38,955
- No!
- [ Gasping Continues ]
44
00:02:41,424 --> 00:02:43,676
Rosebush.
[ Groans ]
45
00:02:46,813 --> 00:02:49,315
[ Man ]
By the gods!
They've killed the king!
46
00:02:49,315 --> 00:02:52,318
- [ Shrieks ]
- Well, best of luck.
47
00:02:52,318 --> 00:02:54,804
[ Yodeling ]
See ya later, whoo!
48
00:02:55,305 --> 00:03:00,593
Autolycus, wait. After all
we've been through together,
you gotta take me with you!
49
00:03:00,593 --> 00:03:03,813
- Oh, hey, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa--
- Wh-Whoa!
50
00:03:03,813 --> 00:03:06,316
[ Both Yelling ]
Ow!
51
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:10,186
Seal off the city.
I want them found!
[ Soldier ] Right away!
52
00:03:10,186 --> 00:03:12,438
[ Vendor ] Here!
Get your fresh fruit here!
53
00:03:12,438 --> 00:03:14,941
We've got apples, oranges,
lemons, pineapples,
54
00:03:14,941 --> 00:03:16,943
kumquats, pomegranates,
prickly pears!
55
00:03:16,943 --> 00:03:19,946
[ Soldier ]
Can't find him anywhere!
Get your fresh fruit here!
56
00:03:20,446 --> 00:03:22,448
Come on, sir. You, sir.
Fresh fruit for you, sir.
57
00:03:22,448 --> 00:03:25,201
Fruit in the morning--
Ah. You.
58
00:03:25,201 --> 00:03:27,503
[ Vendor ]
What can I get for
you this fine day?
59
00:03:27,503 --> 00:03:29,505
[ Woman ]
Do you have any kiwis?
60
00:03:29,505 --> 00:03:32,508
[ Vendor ]
Sorry. we don't carry kiwis.
That was close.
61
00:03:33,009 --> 00:03:35,511
This is delicious.
You gonna eat yours?
Listen, melonhead,
62
00:03:35,511 --> 00:03:38,514
I work alone,
especially when I'm escaping
certain death.
63
00:03:38,848 --> 00:03:41,367
Hey, you're gonna
have to pay for that!
64
00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:43,569
Guards!
65
00:03:43,569 --> 00:03:46,389
[ Soldier ]
There they are!
Uh, just put it on our tab.
66
00:03:46,389 --> 00:03:48,691
Come back!
Come back, here!
Don't let 'em get away!
67
00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:50,793
- Wh-Whoa.
- They're the ones.
68
00:03:50,793 --> 00:03:54,330
- [ Salmoneus ] Run!
-[ Soldier ]
We got 'em now.
69
00:03:55,331 --> 00:03:57,717
Wrong way.
[ Blubbering ]
70
00:03:59,502 --> 00:04:01,454
[ Soldier ]
They must have
gone down here!
71
00:04:01,454 --> 00:04:05,358
dddd [ Piano ]
72
00:04:05,358 --> 00:04:08,861
Where are we?
[ Woman ] Oh, no, no, no!
Stop, stop, stop!
73
00:04:08,861 --> 00:04:11,831
Would you stop that!
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
74
00:04:11,831 --> 00:04:14,767
Honestly,
I've seen more creativity
in a wet kipper!
75
00:04:15,184 --> 00:04:18,705
Now, then, girls, women,
76
00:04:19,205 --> 00:04:21,107
dance is like a language.
77
00:04:21,107 --> 00:04:25,111
You must use your bodies
to speak. And what does
the body say?
78
00:04:25,111 --> 00:04:27,113
It says, "Oooh! Oooh!
79
00:04:27,613 --> 00:04:30,616
"I'm euphoric!
Oooh! Ooh, ooh!
80
00:04:30,616 --> 00:04:32,618
I'm melancholic."
81
00:04:32,618 --> 00:04:36,622
But above all, girls,
we must use our bodies
to tell the world,
82
00:04:36,622 --> 00:04:41,127
in no uncertain terms,
"I am woman."
[ Breasts Squeaking ]
83
00:04:41,577 --> 00:04:44,047
[ Snaps Fingers ]
That gives me an idea.
84
00:04:44,047 --> 00:04:46,049
This is no time
to be thinking
about women.
85
00:04:46,049 --> 00:04:48,051
On the contrary,
my soon-to-be
beardless friend,
86
00:04:48,551 --> 00:04:52,555
now is the perfect time.
[ Widow Twanky ]
One and two and three and--
87
00:04:52,555 --> 00:04:56,559
Say,
what's your size?
88
00:04:56,559 --> 00:05:00,363
Hmm?
[ Gasps ]
[ Dancers Chattering ]
89
00:05:00,363 --> 00:05:03,416
[ Man Narrating ]
This is the story
of a time long ago,
90
00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:05,702
a time of myth and legend,
91
00:05:05,702 --> 00:05:08,738
when the ancient gods
were petty and cruel,
92
00:05:08,738 --> 00:05:11,340
and they plagued mankind
with suffering.
93
00:05:11,340 --> 00:05:15,078
Only one man dared
to challenge their power--
94
00:05:15,078 --> 00:05:17,447
Hercules.
95
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:21,417
Hercules possessed a strength
the world had never seen,
96
00:05:21,417 --> 00:05:23,986
a strength surpassed
only by the power of his heart.
97
00:05:23,986 --> 00:05:27,623
He journeyed the earth,
battling the minions
of his wicked stepmother, Hera,
98
00:05:27,623 --> 00:05:30,727
the all-powerful
queen of the gods.
99
00:05:30,727 --> 00:05:32,712
But wherever
there was evil,
100
00:05:32,712 --> 00:05:36,199
wherever an innocent
would suffer,
101
00:05:36,199 --> 00:05:38,367
there would be... Hercules.
102
00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:40,770
- [ Screeching ]
- [ Roaring ]
103
00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:56,302
Hail!
104
00:06:02,809 --> 00:06:06,312
Ooh, now this is to die for.
Say, are you a spring
or a winter?
105
00:06:06,312 --> 00:06:09,215
Winter.
But that's not the point!
We're innocent!
106
00:06:09,665 --> 00:06:13,136
Oh, sure, they'll believe that.
You were holding the knife,
and I'm the King of Thieves.
107
00:06:13,136 --> 00:06:15,138
If we're lucky,
they'll only kill us once.
108
00:06:15,638 --> 00:06:18,641
That's a good point.
Now, about that makeover--
109
00:06:18,641 --> 00:06:20,643
Umm, uhh.
110
00:06:22,995 --> 00:06:27,250
It is with a heavy heart,
that I take my brother's
place on the throne.
111
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:30,486
But royal duty compels me
to take control of his armies...
112
00:06:30,486 --> 00:06:33,489
and his vast riches...
113
00:06:33,489 --> 00:06:36,492
and his important collection
of fine jams and cheeses.
114
00:06:36,492 --> 00:06:39,996
Now, then!
I need not stress...
115
00:06:39,996 --> 00:06:44,000
the importance of bringing
these two assassins to justice.
116
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:48,004
We'll seal off the city and go
door-to-door, if needs be,
but I want them found!
117
00:06:48,004 --> 00:06:50,339
[ Widow Twanky ]
Look-and-down-and-look--
118
00:06:50,339 --> 00:06:53,309
and heads yet round,
round, round.
119
00:06:53,810 --> 00:06:56,846
[ Laughs Gleefully ]
Ooh, lovely! Smile.
120
00:06:57,346 --> 00:06:59,715
Smile! Look.
121
00:06:59,715 --> 00:07:02,101
Oh!
Now, into the picture.
122
00:07:02,101 --> 00:07:04,453
Oh.
Oh, that was so lovely.
123
00:07:04,954 --> 00:07:06,956
That's wonderful, girls.
Much better.
124
00:07:06,956 --> 00:07:08,891
Now then,
take a break.
Catch your breath.
125
00:07:08,891 --> 00:07:11,394
[ Autolycus ]
Uh, excuse us.
Mm-hmm? Oh!
126
00:07:15,631 --> 00:07:17,567
Well. I was going to say,
"May I help you?"
127
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,435
But it appears events
have passed us by.
128
00:07:19,435 --> 00:07:22,855
Um,
I'm... Autolyca,
129
00:07:22,855 --> 00:07:25,858
and this is my partner,
Sal... monella.
130
00:07:26,359 --> 00:07:28,361
Charmed.
[ Giggles ]
131
00:07:28,778 --> 00:07:33,232
- What happened to your face?
- I cut myself... waxing.
132
00:07:33,232 --> 00:07:36,736
[ Chuckles ]
Anyhoo, we're a couple
of nomadic showgirls...
133
00:07:36,736 --> 00:07:38,988
looking for
a stage to grace.
134
00:07:38,988 --> 00:07:43,809
Oh, well then, ladies,
[ Clicks Tongue ]
135
00:07:43,809 --> 00:07:45,811
I think you better
show me your particulars.
136
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:53,686
No, what dance steps
do you know?
137
00:07:53,686 --> 00:07:57,189
[ Both Laughing ]
Uh, oh--
Oh, we know them all.
138
00:07:57,189 --> 00:07:59,191
The mambo.
The tango.
139
00:07:59,692 --> 00:08:02,194
The Chachi.
And the Joanie.
[ Laughs ]
140
00:08:02,194 --> 00:08:05,648
Ooh, well, I can see you
both have very sizable r?sum?s,
141
00:08:05,648 --> 00:08:08,651
but unfortunately,
all our positions
are filled at the moment.
142
00:08:08,651 --> 00:08:10,653
[ Salmonella Cries ]
I knew it!
[ Autolyca ] Oh.
143
00:08:11,153 --> 00:08:14,657
We're worthless!
[ Sobbing ]
Ow!
144
00:08:14,657 --> 00:08:17,026
Now, Salmonella,
speak for yourself.
145
00:08:17,026 --> 00:08:18,911
[ Sobbing Continues ]
Uh, well--
146
00:08:19,412 --> 00:08:22,315
Oh, I suppose
an extra pair of legs
can't hurt you.
147
00:08:22,315 --> 00:08:25,818
Make you run faster, anyway.
You two can be our understudies.
148
00:08:25,818 --> 00:08:27,820
[ Both Gasp ]
Oh, happy day!
149
00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:29,805
Now, then,
I'm the Widow Twanky,
150
00:08:29,805 --> 00:08:33,809
known throughout the Western
world as "Laughing Lizzie,
the Sailor's Surprise."
151
00:08:33,809 --> 00:08:37,813
Now, if you want to join
my traveling terpsichore
of toe-tapping tulips,
152
00:08:37,813 --> 00:08:40,816
- you shall have to observe
a few simple rules.
- Oh, we'd love to hear them.
153
00:08:40,816 --> 00:08:44,787
Well, rule number one--
We do two shows a day--
Mm-hmm.
154
00:08:44,787 --> 00:08:46,789
and after the second show,
I like my tulips flossed--
155
00:08:46,789 --> 00:08:48,791
Mm-hmm.
and in their pajamas
and in bed.
156
00:08:49,158 --> 00:08:51,928
And I'll even help
tuck them in.
[ Laughs ]
157
00:08:52,895 --> 00:08:56,899
Rule number two--
no alcohol and no junk food.
158
00:08:56,899 --> 00:08:58,901
Your body is a temple,
159
00:08:58,901 --> 00:09:01,904
and I will not brook
the sullying of its
porticoes on my watch.
160
00:09:02,405 --> 00:09:06,242
- Hallelujah.
- And rule number three--
161
00:09:09,745 --> 00:09:13,249
- no men.
- [ Together ]
No problem!
162
00:09:13,249 --> 00:09:15,234
[ Giggles ]
Right.
163
00:09:15,234 --> 00:09:18,604
Girls, could I have
your attention, please?
164
00:09:19,088 --> 00:09:21,991
Let's give a big,
warm tulip welcome...
165
00:09:21,991 --> 00:09:24,493
to the newest members
of our troupe--
166
00:09:24,493 --> 00:09:26,996
Autolyca
and Salmonella.
167
00:09:26,996 --> 00:09:30,366
[ All, Singsong ]
Howdy do, sisters!
Oh!
168
00:09:30,366 --> 00:09:33,552
[ Widow Twanky
Giggling ]
[ Both ] Howdy do!
169
00:09:33,552 --> 00:09:36,339
Right. Let's go
from the top, shall we?
[ Clears Throat ]
170
00:09:36,839 --> 00:09:39,842
Um, why don't you two
just sit this one out?
171
00:09:39,842 --> 00:09:43,713
Rest your best feature,
pay attention to the steps and
you'll pick it up in no time.
172
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,548
[ Widow Twanky
Chuckling ]
[ Giggles ]
173
00:09:45,548 --> 00:09:50,753
[ Sighs, Clears Throat ]
Now, Cupcake, are you ready?
174
00:09:50,753 --> 00:09:53,255
[ Cupcake ]
I was born ready.
175
00:09:54,757 --> 00:09:57,243
dddd [ Slow Jazz ]
176
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:08,754
d
dd Some girls die for diamonds d
177
00:10:08,754 --> 00:10:13,259
dd Some gals go for gold dd
178
00:10:13,259 --> 00:10:17,763
dd But if you want
the key to my heart dd
179
00:10:17,763 --> 00:10:22,134
dd Just listen
to what you're told dd
180
00:10:22,134 --> 00:10:27,573
dd I don't need
tons of jewels dd
181
00:10:28,074 --> 00:10:31,577
dd Rings and things
are meant for fools dd
182
00:10:31,994 --> 00:10:36,465
dd To make
our two hearts meet dd
183
00:10:36,465 --> 00:10:40,469
dd Feed me something sweet dd
184
00:10:40,469 --> 00:10:45,941
dd I crave lots of candy
Cookies and cakes are dandy dd
185
00:10:45,941 --> 00:10:47,943
dd Let me lick your lollipop dd
186
00:10:48,444 --> 00:10:50,830
dd And you can try
my lemon drop dd
187
00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:54,333
dd So if you dip
into my cookie jar dd
188
00:10:54,817 --> 00:10:59,321
dd Then, sugar daddy
we'll go far dd
189
00:10:59,822 --> 00:11:04,293
dd Kisses and hugs
just ain't enough dd
190
00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:08,297
dd I want a bite
of your cream puff dd
191
00:11:08,297 --> 00:11:13,302
dd Ooh, don't make me repeat dd
192
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:18,307
dd Feed me something sweet dd
193
00:11:18,307 --> 00:11:22,812
ddd
dd Feed me something sweet d
194
00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:28,350
Bravo! Bravo!
[ Laughs ]
195
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:30,853
What a snake charmer.
Tell me about it.
196
00:11:30,853 --> 00:11:34,356
If I don't get a looser skirt,
I'm gonna blow my cover.
[ Laughs ]
197
00:11:34,356 --> 00:11:39,662
[ Widow Twanky ] The Athens
Grande Royale Hotel have
graciously extended to us...
198
00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:42,164
the full utilization
of their facilities...
199
00:11:42,164 --> 00:11:44,166
whilst we are
performing in the area.
200
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:46,168
And I don't want to catch
any of you girls...
201
00:11:46,168 --> 00:11:49,555
in the gambling halls
or the taverns.
[ Disappointed Groans ]
202
00:11:49,555 --> 00:11:51,557
Am I making myself clear?
203
00:11:51,557 --> 00:11:54,910
[ All ]
Yes, Widow Twanky.
204
00:11:55,411 --> 00:11:58,731
- Good.
-[ Soldier ] Keep an eye out.
They can't hide forever.
205
00:12:00,616 --> 00:12:02,918
[ Bell Rings ]
Front, boy.
Coming, sir.
206
00:12:02,918 --> 00:12:06,005
[ Sal Giggles ]
So, tell me, girls. Howdoyou
keep your hose from running?
207
00:12:06,505 --> 00:12:09,008
[ Widow Twanky ]
Okay, this way girls--
room assignments.
208
00:12:09,008 --> 00:12:10,976
[ Excited Squealing ]
Come along now.
Watch your step.
209
00:12:11,477 --> 00:12:14,980
This way, girls.
Quickly, off you go,
up the stairs.
210
00:12:16,132 --> 00:12:17,983
Ohh!
[ Gasping ]
Oh, no.
211
00:12:22,454 --> 00:12:24,456
[ Shuddering ]
To whom does this belong?
212
00:12:24,456 --> 00:12:27,193
Cupcake?
Oh, Widow Twanky,
I--
213
00:12:27,193 --> 00:12:29,195
Mistress Twanky,
214
00:12:29,195 --> 00:12:31,197
I cannot tell a lie.
215
00:12:31,197 --> 00:12:33,199
It's hers.
What?
216
00:12:33,199 --> 00:12:35,201
[ Autolyca ]
Sorry, sister.
It's for your own good.
217
00:12:35,684 --> 00:12:38,687
Smuggling sweets,
and on show day as well.
218
00:12:39,188 --> 00:12:41,056
But-But-But-But-But--
But I-- But--
219
00:12:41,557 --> 00:12:43,859
Don't you "but" me,
young lady.
220
00:12:44,126 --> 00:12:46,178
[ Gasps ]
Ow!
Now, then,
221
00:12:46,178 --> 00:12:48,681
you go up to your room,
and you stay there all day.
222
00:12:48,681 --> 00:12:51,417
And while the rest of us
are relaxing in the spa,
223
00:12:51,417 --> 00:12:54,753
you should have
ample opportunity to discover
the ramifications...
224
00:12:54,753 --> 00:12:56,755
of your "ingestatory"
overindulgence!
[ Ear Stretching, Popping ]
225
00:12:56,755 --> 00:13:00,142
- Now, off you go!
And, you, go on!
-Oh. Oh. Yes, ma'am.
226
00:13:00,142 --> 00:13:02,528
Well, come on.
Your legs aren't painted on!
Hurry, hurry, hurry.
227
00:13:02,528 --> 00:13:06,365
[ Laughing And Giggling ]
228
00:13:07,867 --> 00:13:10,870
Oh, ho, ho, ho.
Whee.
229
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:13,372
[ Laughs ]
Wheee!
[ Squeals ]
230
00:13:14,874 --> 00:13:17,877
Oh, gee, Autolyca.
Thanks for savin' my butt.
231
00:13:17,877 --> 00:13:19,879
Oh, think nothing
of it, Cupcake.
232
00:13:19,879 --> 00:13:22,381
It's a butt
worth saving.
233
00:13:22,381 --> 00:13:26,385
Besides, us girls,
we need to stick together,
close together.
234
00:13:26,886 --> 00:13:30,773
Oh, I feel so bad about
Salmonella, takin' the blame
for me and all.
235
00:13:30,773 --> 00:13:34,059
Oh, don't give it
a second thought.
I haven't.
236
00:13:34,059 --> 00:13:36,929
I guess I'm a slave
to my sweet tooth.
237
00:13:36,929 --> 00:13:40,933
There's just somethin'
about frosting that
makes me feel all--
238
00:13:40,933 --> 00:13:45,437
mmm, oh--
boop-boop-a-doopy inside!
[ Both Laugh ]
239
00:13:45,437 --> 00:13:48,340
But you still manage
to keep your figure.
240
00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:50,843
Ooh, I just hate you.
Oh!
[ Laughs ]
241
00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:55,247
I swear,
if I ever met a man who loved
sweets as much as I do,
242
00:13:55,247 --> 00:13:58,250
I'd tie him to my bed
and never let him go.
243
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,653
I like the way you think.
244
00:14:01,153 --> 00:14:03,656
So tell me, uh,
what else do you like
in a man?
245
00:14:04,139 --> 00:14:09,044
Well, he-he'd have
to be kind to animals too...
246
00:14:09,044 --> 00:14:12,047
and maybe a little,
I don't know,
247
00:14:12,047 --> 00:14:15,551
wild and dangerous.
Ooh.
[ Growling ]
248
00:14:15,551 --> 00:14:18,437
But I guess that's
just wishful thinking.
249
00:14:18,437 --> 00:14:21,323
I haven't exactly been lucky
when it comes to love.
250
00:14:21,323 --> 00:14:24,126
[ Clicks Tongue ]
Call it female intuition,
251
00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:27,096
but I think your luck
is about to change.
252
00:14:27,596 --> 00:14:29,081
[ Chuckling ]
253
00:14:29,081 --> 00:14:31,467
[ Laughs ]
This is just great.
254
00:14:31,467 --> 00:14:34,470
I can't believe
I let him talk me into this.
255
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:36,972
I feel so exposed
without my beard,
256
00:14:36,972 --> 00:14:39,975
so vulnerable, so naked,
257
00:14:39,975 --> 00:14:43,479
so-- so--
258
00:14:43,479 --> 00:14:46,482
so smooth.
259
00:14:46,482 --> 00:14:48,984
Mmm.
[ Knocking ]
260
00:14:48,984 --> 00:14:50,986
It's about time.
261
00:14:57,192 --> 00:15:00,813
[ Whimpers ]
Well, hello.
262
00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:11,573
Excuse us, I didn't mean
to disturb you, Miss--
263
00:15:11,573 --> 00:15:14,977
Monella--
Sal Monella.
264
00:15:14,977 --> 00:15:18,981
What an enchanting name.
[ Kisses Hand ]
[ Giggles ]
265
00:15:18,981 --> 00:15:23,519
So full ofmystery.
Can I help you
with something?
266
00:15:23,519 --> 00:15:26,755
Oh, uh, have you seen
these two men, Miss Monella?
267
00:15:26,755 --> 00:15:29,958
No, no, no. Never, never, never.
Not allowed to have men. No, no.
[ Laughs ]
268
00:15:29,958 --> 00:15:33,295
No.
Please,
would you mind looking?
269
00:15:35,130 --> 00:15:36,665
[ Screams ]
How hideous!
270
00:15:36,665 --> 00:15:39,168
Uh, d-don't be alarmed,
271
00:15:39,168 --> 00:15:41,170
but these two men have
assassinated the king.
272
00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:45,274
Uh, don't worry.
We've sealed off
the city.
273
00:15:45,274 --> 00:15:48,477
They'll be found
soon enough.
I should hope so.
274
00:15:48,977 --> 00:15:52,481
And now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to get ready for my show.
275
00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:57,353
Ahhh, you're a dancer.
[ Chuckles ]
Well--
276
00:15:57,353 --> 00:16:01,857
I should've guessed from
the curvaceous musculature
of your... legs.
277
00:16:03,776 --> 00:16:05,661
[ Chuckles ]
So kind of you to notice.
278
00:16:05,661 --> 00:16:08,480
Oh, very little
escapes my watchful eye,
279
00:16:08,981 --> 00:16:13,485
especially when it is feasting
on such a gorgeous creature.
[ Giggles ]
280
00:16:13,485 --> 00:16:16,238
Perhaps we'll meet again,
Miss Monella.
281
00:16:16,238 --> 00:16:19,391
Only the Fates can tell.
Bye.
282
00:16:19,391 --> 00:16:21,860
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
283
00:16:22,361 --> 00:16:24,863
[ Giggling,
Rapid Breaths ]
284
00:16:25,314 --> 00:16:27,766
Oh, Salmonella,
my friend,
285
00:16:27,766 --> 00:16:31,270
I haven't felt this
way since, oh, last week.
286
00:16:31,270 --> 00:16:34,773
Where have you been?
We've gotta get outta here!
287
00:16:34,773 --> 00:16:37,276
Oh, that Cupcake.
What a dish. Ooh-whee.
288
00:16:37,276 --> 00:16:40,279
I ought to have her eating
out of the palm of my hand
by suppertime.
289
00:16:40,279 --> 00:16:42,781
Will you forget the girl?
Gekkus and his men
were just here.
290
00:16:42,781 --> 00:16:45,284
Oh, yeah?
Well, you're still alive.
The disguise must have worked.
291
00:16:45,284 --> 00:16:47,786
A little too well.
He kissed my hand.
292
00:16:47,786 --> 00:16:52,291
Ooh, a wanted man, eh?
You little vixen.
Say, now this is you.
293
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:54,793
Are we
going somewhere?
Not "we," me.
294
00:16:54,793 --> 00:16:57,796
I borrowed
these threads from a very
generous-looking couple.
295
00:16:57,796 --> 00:16:59,932
-They didn't seem to mind.
- [ Laughs ]
296
00:16:59,932 --> 00:17:02,801
In fact,
they didn't seem to notice.
297
00:17:05,804 --> 00:17:09,808
Gadzooks!
If I were a woman,
I'd kiss myself.
298
00:17:09,808 --> 00:17:11,944
Wait. You can't
leave me again like this.
299
00:17:11,944 --> 00:17:16,615
Sorry, old girl.
You're grounded.
[ Laughs ]
300
00:17:16,615 --> 00:17:20,502
Last one to their room's
a rotten egg.
Okay!
301
00:17:20,502 --> 00:17:24,006
[ Girls Giggling ]
Oh, I'm so sorry.
302
00:17:24,006 --> 00:17:26,008
Think nothing of it,
my dear.
[ Yelps ]
303
00:17:26,008 --> 00:17:30,012
Why, the world
is just a chaotic stage,
just teaming with activity.
304
00:17:30,012 --> 00:17:32,514
A little bump-and-grind
here and there
is to be expected.
305
00:17:32,514 --> 00:17:37,019
Well, gee,
I never thought of it
that way, mister.
306
00:17:37,019 --> 00:17:39,905
I guess you're right.
Why,
where are my manners?
307
00:17:39,905 --> 00:17:42,758
[ Laughs ]
I forgot to introduce myself.
308
00:17:42,758 --> 00:17:46,128
Farciferous Von Baklava,
Esquire, at your service.
309
00:17:46,595 --> 00:17:48,597
[ Squeals ]
Golly!
310
00:17:48,597 --> 00:17:51,600
I have never had an esquire
at my service before.
311
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,186
I'm Cupcake.
312
00:17:54,603 --> 00:18:00,125
Oh, is that your dog?
Why, yes it is.
Cupcake, meet Creampuff.
313
00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:03,128
Hmm.
I named her after
my greatest culinary creation.
314
00:18:05,597 --> 00:18:08,984
You... invented
the cream puff?
315
00:18:08,984 --> 00:18:12,788
I certainly did.
I own a string of bakeries
all across Greece.
316
00:18:12,788 --> 00:18:15,791
Oh, gods, forgive me,
but I am a slave
to my sweet tooth.
317
00:18:15,791 --> 00:18:18,260
[ Swoons ]
You don't say.
318
00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:20,646
Oh, I doobee-do.
[ Groans ]
319
00:18:20,646 --> 00:18:24,149
But the money, the castles--
that can't mean a thing to me...
320
00:18:24,149 --> 00:18:27,653
until I know all the animals
of the world are safe and happy.
321
00:18:27,653 --> 00:18:29,655
I guess that's why
I turned my gardens...
322
00:18:30,155 --> 00:18:33,158
into a sanctuary
for abused wildlife.
323
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:37,162
You mean, you care
about animals that much?
How could I not?
324
00:18:37,663 --> 00:18:40,549
Just look at that face.
Ooh-whoo.
325
00:18:40,549 --> 00:18:42,801
[ Barks, Whimpers ]
326
00:18:42,801 --> 00:18:45,037
[ Laughs ]
There, there.
327
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:48,891
I rescued Creampuff
here from a band
of murderous pirates.
328
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:53,662
[ Breathlessly ] Oh, my!
That sounds so dangerous.
329
00:18:53,662 --> 00:18:59,501
It was, Cupcake,
very, very dangerous.
330
00:18:59,501 --> 00:19:01,770
Oh, wow!
331
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:06,275
It's not every day
that I meet an animal-loving,
daredevil...
332
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:09,778
pastry mogul
with a sweet tooth like mine.
[ Widow Twanky ] Come on, girls!
333
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,264
Hurry along!
Too many bubbles can make
you go blind.
334
00:19:12,264 --> 00:19:16,268
[ Girls Giggling ]
Cupcake?
Is this gentleman bothering you?
335
00:19:16,268 --> 00:19:18,270
Ooh, much
better now.
Oh, no.
336
00:19:18,654 --> 00:19:22,157
I was just stroking
his poodle.
[ Dog Whimpers ]
337
00:19:22,658 --> 00:19:25,143
You hardly know him.
Now, run along.
338
00:19:25,143 --> 00:19:27,646
You're dripping
all over the floor.
I guess I gotta go.
339
00:19:28,096 --> 00:19:31,466
It was nice meeting you.
340
00:19:34,736 --> 00:19:38,907
Yes, well,
as for you,
341
00:19:38,907 --> 00:19:40,909
if you wish to have
anything more to do
with my Cupcake,
342
00:19:40,909 --> 00:19:44,263
you will have
to go through me,
343
00:19:45,631 --> 00:19:49,635
you...
strapping, young buck.
344
00:19:51,386 --> 00:19:53,155
[ Whimpers, Barks ]
345
00:19:56,024 --> 00:19:58,827
[ Salmoneus ]
dd You can lick my lollipop dd
346
00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:01,330
dd And I will suck
your lemon drop dd
347
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:03,332
[ Saber Rattling ]
dd Dada-da, da-da-- dd
348
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:07,919
[ Screams ] Peeping Tom!
Don't flatter yourself,
cookie-puss. It's me.
349
00:20:07,919 --> 00:20:11,506
-Can't a girl have some privacy?
-Relax, it's nothing
I haven't seen before.
350
00:20:13,008 --> 00:20:15,060
- On second thought--
-[ Soft Knocking ]
351
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,746
Autolyca!
It's Cupcake.
352
00:20:17,746 --> 00:20:19,748
Can I come in?
Quick.
Get up and answer the door.
353
00:20:20,248 --> 00:20:21,750
She can't see me
like this.
I'm in the tub.
354
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:24,252
Where are my melons?
Don't look at me.
355
00:20:26,722 --> 00:20:29,224
Autolyca?
[ Falsetto ]
Just a minute.
356
00:20:29,224 --> 00:20:31,226
[ Water Splashing ]
357
00:20:31,727 --> 00:20:34,730
In here, sweetie,
in the bathroom.
358
00:20:35,664 --> 00:20:39,284
Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting?
359
00:20:39,284 --> 00:20:42,270
Not at all, Cuppy.
Three's company!
360
00:20:42,270 --> 00:20:44,272
Oh, Autolyca,
you were right.
361
00:20:44,272 --> 00:20:46,775
I finally met my dream man.
362
00:20:46,775 --> 00:20:51,530
[ Gasps ]
Oh, I just knew you would,
snookie-lumps.
363
00:20:51,530 --> 00:20:53,749
Uh-huh.
You know what I always say?
364
00:20:53,749 --> 00:20:57,552
If something looks too good
to be true, it probably is.
365
00:20:57,552 --> 00:21:01,473
- [ Groans, Laughs ]
- She's just jealous.
366
00:21:01,473 --> 00:21:04,776
He sounds wonderful.
367
00:21:05,277 --> 00:21:08,780
And who do we think
we are today,
Xena and Gabrielle?
368
00:21:08,780 --> 00:21:12,217
Now, come on girls!
Chop, chop!
The stage awaits.
369
00:21:12,217 --> 00:21:15,220
[ Autolycus ]
Well, looks like your
not-so-secret admirer is here.
370
00:21:15,220 --> 00:21:18,123
Just my luck.
And my shoes don't
even match my tail.
371
00:21:18,123 --> 00:21:20,125
Ooh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness.
372
00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:22,377
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness--
Oh, what's the matter?
373
00:21:22,377 --> 00:21:25,113
[ Gasps ]
Rena and Dena--
food poisoning.
374
00:21:25,113 --> 00:21:28,567
I told them to keep away
from that pickled chinchilla.
Oh, what are we gonna do?
375
00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:32,571
They were
our opening act.
Oh.
376
00:21:32,571 --> 00:21:35,540
You two.
You're on!
Oh!
Oh!
377
00:21:35,540 --> 00:21:38,527
- Us?
- Yes.
With your dance experience,
378
00:21:39,027 --> 00:21:41,530
the Hootchy-Kootchy
Jiggle-Wiggle should be
no problem at all.
379
00:21:41,897 --> 00:21:45,801
Hoo-Hootchy-Kootchy
Jiggle-Wiggle?
Why, sure.
380
00:21:45,801 --> 00:21:50,172
The-The-The
Hootchy-Kootchy Jiggle-Wiggle,
that's our favorite.
381
00:21:50,172 --> 00:21:55,077
Oh! A couple of pros.
I love it.
Show must go on!
382
00:21:55,077 --> 00:21:58,080
Gee, you gals
are a lot braver than I am.
383
00:21:58,580 --> 00:22:00,582
- [ Modest Scoffs ]
- I'd be too embarrassed...
384
00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:03,835
to go out there
in front of everyone
and get naked.
385
00:22:03,835 --> 00:22:05,620
[ Girls Chattering, Laughing ]
386
00:22:05,620 --> 00:22:09,624
[ Together ]
N-N-N-Naked?
387
00:22:12,828 --> 00:22:15,330
Yoo-hoo!
388
00:22:15,330 --> 00:22:18,834
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
[ Applause ]
389
00:22:18,834 --> 00:22:24,339
Good evening and welcome.
Welcome, one and all,
to the Athenian Royal Palladium.
390
00:22:24,339 --> 00:22:28,627
- Now, are there any married men
in the audience?
- Yes.
391
00:22:28,627 --> 00:22:31,363
Yeah, I am!
Get home to your wives. You
should be ashamed of yourselves!
392
00:22:31,363 --> 00:22:34,316
- [ Audience Laughing ]
-[ Widow Twanky ]
Is there anybody from Corinth?
393
00:22:34,816 --> 00:22:36,818
It's over.
Finished. Kaput.
394
00:22:36,818 --> 00:22:38,820
Nothing personal,
but I hate your guts!
395
00:22:39,321 --> 00:22:40,822
You think
you got it rough,
puffball?
396
00:22:41,323 --> 00:22:43,825
The last thing I need to see
before I go is you naked.
397
00:22:43,825 --> 00:22:46,828
I don't wanna die!
I don't wanna die!
I don't wanna die!
398
00:22:46,828 --> 00:22:48,830
Then let's make
like Zeus and bolt.
How can we?
399
00:22:48,830 --> 00:22:54,336
-Gekkus's guards are everywhere!
-And now,
without any further ado,
400
00:22:54,336 --> 00:22:56,838
I'd like you to put
your hands together for...
401
00:22:56,838 --> 00:23:00,342
the Hootchy-Kootchy
Jiggle-Wiggle.
[ Man ] Yeah!
402
00:23:00,342 --> 00:23:02,711
[ Audience Cheering,
Applauding ]
403
00:23:05,997 --> 00:23:07,999
[ Man Shouting ]
Bring 'em on!
404
00:23:07,999 --> 00:23:11,486
dddd [ Burlesque ]
[ Hissing ]
405
00:23:12,988 --> 00:23:15,690
dddd [ Continues ]
406
00:23:17,659 --> 00:23:21,146
[ Shouts, Whistles ]
407
00:23:32,958 --> 00:23:35,961
Whoo!
Ooh!
408
00:23:35,961 --> 00:23:39,414
dddd [ Continues ]
409
00:23:42,884 --> 00:23:45,387
[ Audience Exclaiming ]
410
00:23:47,389 --> 00:23:48,890
Whoo!
411
00:23:58,366 --> 00:24:00,368
Whoa!
412
00:24:03,355 --> 00:24:06,791
- [ Sighs ]
Whee!
- [ Woman Squeals ]
413
00:24:14,783 --> 00:24:17,252
Ahhh!
414
00:24:19,571 --> 00:24:22,507
Whoo!
415
00:24:24,476 --> 00:24:26,461
[ Man Shouting ]
Yeah!
416
00:24:45,213 --> 00:24:48,617
[ Children Giggling ]
417
00:25:03,164 --> 00:25:05,567
[ Wolf Whistle ]
418
00:25:10,572 --> 00:25:12,457
Huhhh!
419
00:25:14,693 --> 00:25:17,696
- [ Audience Clamoring ]
- [ Man ] Come on!
Take off your dress!
420
00:25:17,696 --> 00:25:19,864
Oh! Ooh!
421
00:25:20,365 --> 00:25:21,866
[ Audience Exclaiming ]
422
00:25:24,369 --> 00:25:26,371
[ Fabric Ripping ]
Oh-ho!
423
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,489
[ Man ]
Come on! Show us!
424
00:25:55,100 --> 00:25:58,470
[ Cheering ]
425
00:26:04,843 --> 00:26:08,730
Oh, thank you, girls.
That was a sublime performance.
[ Dancers Squealing ]
426
00:26:08,730 --> 00:26:10,732
Run along,
and have a light supper.
But,
427
00:26:11,232 --> 00:26:13,234
remember to be back in
time for tonight's show.
428
00:26:13,234 --> 00:26:16,738
[ Overlapping Chatter ]
Um, oh. Beautiful.
429
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,743
[ Dancer ]
I think I broke a heel.
430
00:26:24,245 --> 00:26:28,249
Where'd
you score the buds?
Gekkus sent them to me.
431
00:26:28,249 --> 00:26:30,752
He wants me to meet him
for dinner at his castle.
432
00:26:30,752 --> 00:26:33,755
What do you think?
Should I play hard-to-get?
433
00:26:33,755 --> 00:26:36,758
Is your wig on too tight?
Aside from the fact that
he's trying to kill us,
434
00:26:37,258 --> 00:26:39,260
he seems like
a really nice guy.
435
00:26:39,260 --> 00:26:42,263
Listen, Sallie, you're not
that kinda girl, remember?
Oh, what do you know?
436
00:26:42,764 --> 00:26:45,266
You're just jealous
'cause nobody sent
you flowers.
437
00:26:48,620 --> 00:26:51,940
Sure, they did.
Hey,
give them back!
438
00:26:51,940 --> 00:26:54,943
Nobody ever gave me
flowers before.
Here's one for your date.
439
00:26:54,943 --> 00:26:56,945
By the way, clean up
your side of the room,
will ya?
440
00:26:56,945 --> 00:26:59,447
It's a sty.
441
00:27:02,450 --> 00:27:04,452
Well, I never!
442
00:27:06,921 --> 00:27:10,425
Cupcake, what's wrong?
Oh, nothin'.
443
00:27:10,425 --> 00:27:13,928
I was just kinda hopin'
Farciferous would show.
444
00:27:13,928 --> 00:27:16,381
Maybe he didn't like me,
after all.
445
00:27:16,381 --> 00:27:18,883
Now,
I know that's not true.
446
00:27:18,883 --> 00:27:22,387
These came for you.
[ Gasps ]
447
00:27:22,387 --> 00:27:26,875
Oh, they're from Farciferous.
He wants to meet me
at the gazebo!
448
00:27:26,875 --> 00:27:30,345
Oh, that sounds
so romantic.
449
00:27:31,846 --> 00:27:35,734
[ Clicks Tongue ]
I think he's the one for you,
Cupcake.
450
00:27:36,234 --> 00:27:39,804
My advice-- Don't do
anything I wouldn't do.
Mm-hmm.
451
00:27:40,305 --> 00:27:43,808
And that's not a long list.
Oh, Autolyca.
452
00:27:43,808 --> 00:27:46,277
You are so bad.
[ Laughs ]
453
00:27:46,277 --> 00:27:49,964
And it feels so good.
454
00:27:52,834 --> 00:27:54,836
[ Water Trickling ]
455
00:28:03,344 --> 00:28:05,346
I didn't think
you were coming.
456
00:28:05,346 --> 00:28:07,348
I'm so sorry
to keep you waiting,
sweetcheeks,
457
00:28:07,348 --> 00:28:11,352
but, well,
I had a delivery
to take care of.
458
00:28:11,352 --> 00:28:16,858
A delivery?
Yes, a pregnant yak
went into labor.
459
00:28:16,858 --> 00:28:20,862
Oh, but I'll spare you
the gory details.
Oh, no, please.
460
00:28:20,862 --> 00:28:23,865
Tell me
what happened.
461
00:28:23,865 --> 00:28:26,367
They were twins.
Oh.
462
00:28:26,367 --> 00:28:29,370
Two of them.
We tried to reach
the bull,
463
00:28:29,370 --> 00:28:32,373
but...
he was out grazing.
464
00:28:32,373 --> 00:28:35,877
Oh, Farciferous,
you are so brave.
465
00:28:35,877 --> 00:28:38,880
[ Laughs ]
Not at all.
466
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:43,384
It's what any extraordinary man
in my position would've done.
Oh.
467
00:28:43,885 --> 00:28:48,389
But enough about me.
I've got a little surprise
for you.
468
00:28:49,891 --> 00:28:51,893
Now, sit down right here.
469
00:28:54,896 --> 00:28:57,398
[ Gasps ]
For me?
[ Laughs ]
470
00:28:57,899 --> 00:28:59,901
Oh!
May I?
471
00:28:59,901 --> 00:29:03,321
Uh-huh.
[ Gasps ] Ohh!
[ Laughs ]
472
00:29:04,823 --> 00:29:06,825
Ohh!
473
00:29:16,317 --> 00:29:19,821
Mmm!
[ Laughs ]
474
00:29:19,821 --> 00:29:22,323
Sprinkles,
my favorite.
475
00:29:22,323 --> 00:29:24,309
[ Laughs ]
476
00:29:27,762 --> 00:29:30,265
[ Gulps ]
477
00:29:33,034 --> 00:29:35,019
[ Gasps ]
478
00:29:35,019 --> 00:29:38,022
Give me some sugar,
baby.
479
00:29:38,022 --> 00:29:41,526
[ Moaning ]
480
00:29:43,394 --> 00:29:45,146
[ Sighs ]
[ Loud Slap ]
481
00:29:48,933 --> 00:29:50,435
Oh!
482
00:29:50,919 --> 00:29:55,823
Fricasseed squab,
my favorite.
Leave us.
483
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:03,064
You are the most
incredible woman
I've ever met.
484
00:30:03,064 --> 00:30:07,886
You're not just a dancer.
You're an... artiste.
485
00:30:07,886 --> 00:30:09,871
Oh, Gekkie.
486
00:30:09,871 --> 00:30:12,740
You're such a talker.
[ Giggles ]
487
00:30:12,740 --> 00:30:16,311
I...
have something for you.
488
00:30:17,812 --> 00:30:19,814
No.
[ Chuckles ]
489
00:30:27,822 --> 00:30:31,259
They're a family heirloom.
490
00:30:31,259 --> 00:30:33,761
I want you to have them.
491
00:30:42,270 --> 00:30:46,274
Oh, Gekkus,
I-- I don't know what to say.
492
00:30:46,274 --> 00:30:49,744
[ Sobs ]
You're the first man...
493
00:30:49,744 --> 00:30:53,748
who's ever given me
his family jewels.
494
00:30:53,748 --> 00:30:57,702
There's plenty more
where they came from.
495
00:30:58,987 --> 00:31:01,489
Oh.
496
00:31:01,489 --> 00:31:03,958
[ Moaning ]
497
00:31:07,462 --> 00:31:09,397
Oh.
498
00:31:10,898 --> 00:31:13,401
Cupcake, ha-have I
done something wrong?
499
00:31:13,901 --> 00:31:15,903
[ Sniffles ]
No.
500
00:31:15,903 --> 00:31:18,406
You've done everything right.
501
00:31:18,406 --> 00:31:21,909
Then what's the matter?
502
00:31:21,909 --> 00:31:24,412
[ Sobbing ]
I'm so...
503
00:31:24,912 --> 00:31:26,914
happy.
504
00:31:26,914 --> 00:31:29,917
I'd hate
to see you depressed.
505
00:31:29,917 --> 00:31:33,421
[ Sobbing ]
I never thought
a sm-small-town girl like me...
506
00:31:33,421 --> 00:31:37,925
would be lucky enough
to find a swell guy like you.
[ Sniffles ]
507
00:31:37,925 --> 00:31:40,928
Most men lie and steal...
508
00:31:41,429 --> 00:31:44,432
and lead double lives.
509
00:31:44,932 --> 00:31:48,436
But it's different
with you.
It is?
510
00:31:49,937 --> 00:31:52,940
I feel like
I can trust you.
511
00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:54,942
You do.
512
00:31:55,410 --> 00:31:59,314
Oh, I may not be
the smartest girl
in the world, Farciferous.
513
00:31:59,314 --> 00:32:01,816
But if you gave me
half a chance,
514
00:32:01,816 --> 00:32:05,303
I know I could
make you happy.
515
00:32:05,303 --> 00:32:07,805
I'm yours.
516
00:32:10,775 --> 00:32:16,247
What's the matter?
Cupcake,
517
00:32:16,247 --> 00:32:18,750
I think I...
518
00:32:20,752 --> 00:32:22,754
respect you.
519
00:32:22,754 --> 00:32:25,723
Me too.
520
00:32:25,723 --> 00:32:27,675
Good.
521
00:32:28,176 --> 00:32:30,678
Because, I--
522
00:32:30,678 --> 00:32:32,680
I really have to go.
523
00:32:41,522 --> 00:32:44,509
Did you enjoy your dinner,
my darling?
524
00:32:45,993 --> 00:32:47,995
Yes, thank you.
525
00:32:47,995 --> 00:32:50,998
But I really
should be getting back
to the theater now.
526
00:32:50,998 --> 00:32:55,636
Oh, but you'll miss
the best part--
527
00:32:55,636 --> 00:32:58,089
[ Dishes Clattering ]
[ Gasping ]
528
00:32:58,089 --> 00:33:00,908
dessert.
529
00:33:00,908 --> 00:33:04,362
[ Whimpers ]
I don't eat dessert
on the first date.
530
00:33:04,362 --> 00:33:07,849
I must have you.
But you don't know
anything about me.
531
00:33:07,849 --> 00:33:10,334
I know enough.
I know I love you.
532
00:33:10,334 --> 00:33:12,653
[ Gasps, Cries Out ]
533
00:33:12,653 --> 00:33:15,156
No!
[ Muttering ]
534
00:33:15,156 --> 00:33:19,127
I'm not that kind of girl!
I don't care
what kinda girl you are.
535
00:33:19,627 --> 00:33:21,629
All I care about is us.
536
00:33:21,629 --> 00:33:25,633
And now my no-good brother
is out of the way--
we can have the world.
537
00:33:25,633 --> 00:33:29,921
But I thought
you loved your brother.
Loved him? I loathed him.
538
00:33:31,656 --> 00:33:36,110
Having him killed
was my greatest triumph.
539
00:33:36,110 --> 00:33:38,579
[ Giggles ]
Now, kiss me
before I explode!
540
00:33:38,579 --> 00:33:40,915
[ Cries Out ]
541
00:33:42,834 --> 00:33:45,837
Does this mean
we still can't be friends?
542
00:33:51,876 --> 00:33:53,878
Salmoneus?
543
00:33:55,379 --> 00:33:56,881
Where are ya?
544
00:33:58,382 --> 00:34:01,886
Well, at least
one of us got lucky.
[ Knocking ]
545
00:34:03,387 --> 00:34:06,240
- [ High-pitched ]
Who is it?
- It's Cupcake.
546
00:34:06,741 --> 00:34:09,727
- I need to talk to you.
- Uh, ju-just a minute.
547
00:34:11,012 --> 00:34:13,314
[ Running Footsteps ]
548
00:34:13,314 --> 00:34:15,817
Why, Cupcake,
what's the matter?
549
00:34:15,817 --> 00:34:20,321
[ Sobbing ]
Oh, Autolyca.
I don't know what I did wrong.
550
00:34:20,321 --> 00:34:25,326
He just left me.
[ Sobbing ]
Oh, there, there, dear.
551
00:34:25,326 --> 00:34:27,829
I guess I was stupid
to think that...
552
00:34:27,829 --> 00:34:30,331
someone like that
could love me.
553
00:34:30,331 --> 00:34:33,801
Now, you listen to me,
Cupcake.
554
00:34:33,801 --> 00:34:36,304
There is nothing wrong
with you.
[ Chuckles ]
555
00:34:36,304 --> 00:34:39,307
Your heart's as big
as they come, and if
he can't see what I see,
556
00:34:39,307 --> 00:34:42,310
then...
he doesn't deserve you.
557
00:34:42,310 --> 00:34:46,314
Oh, you're so good
to me, Autolyca.
558
00:34:46,314 --> 00:34:50,318
Why, you're
the best friend
I ever had.
559
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:56,324
Cupcake,
there'ssomething
I should tell you.
560
00:34:56,324 --> 00:35:01,279
Oh!
Well, well, well.
561
00:35:01,279 --> 00:35:03,281
I should compliment you
on your fashion sense.
562
00:35:03,281 --> 00:35:05,283
You almost had me fooled--
almost.
563
00:35:05,283 --> 00:35:10,188
Who are you?
You just don't know
when to quit, do you?
564
00:35:10,688 --> 00:35:13,191
I had you
pegged as a guy
from the get-go.
565
00:35:13,191 --> 00:35:15,927
[ Grunts ]
Ow! Let go of me!
[ Hair Ripping ]
566
00:35:15,927 --> 00:35:19,430
All right, cut it out.
It's me you want.
567
00:35:20,831 --> 00:35:24,769
- [ Gasps, Groans ]
- I'm sorry, Cupcake. I--
568
00:35:24,769 --> 00:35:27,989
- I tried to tell ya.
- Take 'em to my castle,
569
00:35:27,989 --> 00:35:29,991
and summon
the executioner.
570
00:35:29,991 --> 00:35:32,877
Ugh, get your hands off me.
Ugh!
571
00:35:32,877 --> 00:35:37,148
[ Sighs ]
I never meant to hurt you,
Cupcake, honest.
572
00:35:37,148 --> 00:35:40,151
[ Scoffs ]
"Honest,"
that's a laugh.
573
00:35:40,151 --> 00:35:42,653
Aren'tyou
the heartbreaker?
Me? What about you?
574
00:35:42,653 --> 00:35:44,655
If you'd been a better date,
we wouldn't be in this mess.
575
00:35:45,156 --> 00:35:47,658
If I'd been a better date, I'd
be picking up a wedding dress.
Would that be so bad?
576
00:35:47,658 --> 00:35:49,660
Some people
struggle their whole lives
to find love.
577
00:35:49,660 --> 00:35:52,663
I'm just not ready for
that kind of commitment,
okay?
578
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,049
[ Cupcake ]
Will you two shut up?
[ Salmoneus ] He started it.
579
00:35:55,049 --> 00:35:59,036
If I could just
reach under my skirt.
Youaredesperate.
580
00:36:05,543 --> 00:36:09,046
I just stopped by
to tell you;
you'll be dead shortly.
581
00:36:09,046 --> 00:36:11,549
Leave the girl
out of this, will ya?
It's us you want.
582
00:36:11,549 --> 00:36:15,803
Yeah, she doesn't know
you killed your brother
and set us up for the fall.
583
00:36:15,803 --> 00:36:19,156
Oops.
Listen, from now on,
whatever instinct you have,
584
00:36:19,156 --> 00:36:24,078
- do the opposite.
- I set you up,
because you are an idiot.
585
00:36:24,078 --> 00:36:26,530
You just happened
to be in the wrong place
at the wrong time,
586
00:36:26,530 --> 00:36:28,532
which makes you
an idiot too.
587
00:36:28,950 --> 00:36:30,952
[ Scoffing Chuckle ]
You're tellin' me.
588
00:36:30,952 --> 00:36:34,939
Well, enough chat.
589
00:36:34,939 --> 00:36:37,174
Time to die.
590
00:36:37,174 --> 00:36:40,428
Now would be a good time
for some moves.
Aw, keep your skirt on.
591
00:36:47,852 --> 00:36:50,271
- Kill them!
-[ Ropes Straining ]
592
00:36:50,271 --> 00:36:52,974
[ Yells ]
593
00:36:54,875 --> 00:36:57,295
- [ Grunting ]
-[ Cupcake ]
Watch out!
594
00:36:57,295 --> 00:37:00,064
[ Yelling ]
595
00:37:00,448 --> 00:37:02,717
[ Yells ]
[ Soldiers Groaning ]
596
00:37:02,717 --> 00:37:04,685
[ Gekkus Grunting, Groaning ]
597
00:37:06,087 --> 00:37:09,290
- [ Grunting, Yelling ]
- [ Groaning ]
598
00:37:09,290 --> 00:37:11,642
Come on!
[ Grunting ]
599
00:37:11,642 --> 00:37:14,078
[ Cupcake ]
Come on! Let's go!
May I?
600
00:37:14,078 --> 00:37:16,080
Ugh!
You may.
601
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,082
Come on!
Nahhh!
602
00:37:18,532 --> 00:37:22,420
[ Cupcake ] Hurry!
[ Gekkus Groans ]
After them!
603
00:37:22,420 --> 00:37:27,141
Oh. Now then, girls.
We're a few short,
so I'm going to improvise.
604
00:37:27,642 --> 00:37:30,645
Now then,
[ Audience:
Lecherous Chatter ]
605
00:37:30,645 --> 00:37:35,149
I want to see those legs
high in the air...
but not too far apart.
606
00:37:35,149 --> 00:37:38,152
Come on.
Ooh!
Ohh!
607
00:37:38,152 --> 00:37:41,939
[ Laughing, Shouting ]
608
00:37:41,939 --> 00:37:44,342
Oh!
Oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh.
609
00:37:46,293 --> 00:37:49,196
[ Audience Clamoring ]
Ooh.
610
00:37:51,649 --> 00:37:54,652
Ooh. Uh-uh-uhh.
611
00:37:54,652 --> 00:37:56,654
Ooh! Oh!
612
00:37:58,656 --> 00:38:00,658
Ah!
613
00:38:03,661 --> 00:38:05,663
Oh-ooh-ooh.
Aha!
614
00:38:06,147 --> 00:38:09,650
[ Cheering, Shouting ]
I think we lost 'em.
615
00:38:09,650 --> 00:38:11,652
Yeah?
You thinktheyknow that?
616
00:38:11,652 --> 00:38:14,038
- [ Grunting ]
- [ Salmoneus, Cupcake Whimper ]
617
00:38:15,389 --> 00:38:18,275
Well, boys,
any more bright ideas?
618
00:38:18,275 --> 00:38:23,180
- [ Yelling, Grunting ]
- [ Dancers Squealing ]
619
00:38:23,180 --> 00:38:25,182
Ohh! That hurt.
620
00:38:25,683 --> 00:38:27,985
- dddd [ Dissonant Organ Note ]
- There they are!
621
00:38:27,985 --> 00:38:30,371
It's about time
you gentlemen showed up.
You knew we were men?
622
00:38:30,371 --> 00:38:32,373
Oh! Stuck out
like a sore thumb.
623
00:38:32,373 --> 00:38:34,475
[ Soldiers Growling, Grunting ]
624
00:38:35,259 --> 00:38:37,545
- Ooh, ooh! Wah!
- [ Soldier ] Ow!
625
00:38:38,779 --> 00:38:41,382
[ Soldier Yelling ]
Get him!
626
00:38:41,382 --> 00:38:44,085
- [ Autolycus Grunts ]
- [ Soldier Groans ]
627
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,506
dddd [ Continues ]
628
00:38:48,506 --> 00:38:51,475
- [ Whimpers ]
- [ Yelling ]
629
00:38:51,475 --> 00:38:53,477
[ Screaming ]
630
00:38:53,477 --> 00:38:55,930
- [ Autolycus Yelling ]
- [ Helmet Clangs ]
631
00:38:55,930 --> 00:38:58,816
- Yahhh!
- dddd [ Jazzy ]
632
00:38:58,816 --> 00:39:02,336
- [ Bellowing ]
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
633
00:39:02,336 --> 00:39:05,339
[ Squeals, Falsetto Yells ]
634
00:39:07,024 --> 00:39:10,244
- [ Cheering ]
- [ Soldiers Groaning ]
635
00:39:10,244 --> 00:39:13,130
[ Yelling ]
636
00:39:13,130 --> 00:39:15,800
[ Yelling, Chattering ]
637
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,285
[ Cheering ]
Whoo!
638
00:39:20,271 --> 00:39:24,708
[ Yelling ]
Ooh!
[ Yelling ]
639
00:39:24,708 --> 00:39:27,445
[ Laughs ]
[ Soldiers Groan ]
640
00:39:27,445 --> 00:39:32,249
- Haa!
- [ Soldier Grunting ]
641
00:39:32,750 --> 00:39:35,136
Hyah!
[ Groans ]
642
00:39:36,537 --> 00:39:38,889
dddd [ Continues ]
643
00:39:43,577 --> 00:39:46,480
- What? [ Groaning ]
- [ Rope Whipping ]
644
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,315
[ Screaming ]
645
00:39:49,583 --> 00:39:54,004
Ooh!
[ Whooping Yells ]
646
00:39:55,222 --> 00:39:57,658
[ Cheering ]
647
00:39:58,159 --> 00:40:00,644
Help!
648
00:40:00,644 --> 00:40:02,630
Oh, well, I think that
just about does it.
649
00:40:02,630 --> 00:40:06,250
- Ohh!
-[ Cupcake ] Uhh!
- Nobody move!
650
00:40:06,250 --> 00:40:09,787
- Or I cut the cake.
- Wait, don't hurt her.
651
00:40:09,787 --> 00:40:12,206
- Um, take us, instead.
- What are you, nuts?
652
00:40:12,206 --> 00:40:14,258
Not another step.
[ Groans ]
653
00:40:14,758 --> 00:40:18,112
- He's a maniac.
He killed the king.
- [ Booing ]
654
00:40:18,112 --> 00:40:20,364
No! No, it's not true.
655
00:40:20,364 --> 00:40:23,868
I loved my brother. He--
He was like family to me.
656
00:40:23,868 --> 00:40:26,620
Ugh! Men!
[ Grunts ]
Ooh!
657
00:40:26,620 --> 00:40:28,839
[ Audience Applauds ]
658
00:40:31,492 --> 00:40:34,378
- [ Yells ]
- [ Cries Out, Groans ]
659
00:40:34,762 --> 00:40:37,715
[ Cheering ]
660
00:40:38,165 --> 00:40:40,634
[ Ovation Continues ]
Oh!
661
00:40:43,637 --> 00:40:46,640
[ Whistles, Cheers ]
662
00:40:51,145 --> 00:40:54,064
[ Chuckles ]
663
00:40:54,565 --> 00:40:56,567
Mmm-mwah!
[ Sputters ]
664
00:40:56,567 --> 00:40:59,570
[ Ovation Continues ]
665
00:41:11,015 --> 00:41:13,017
[ Groans ]
666
00:41:16,020 --> 00:41:20,024
Enjoy your stay.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Growls ]
667
00:41:31,035 --> 00:41:34,038
Cupcake, um,
668
00:41:34,038 --> 00:41:36,040
I know there's nothing
I could ever say to make up...
669
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:39,043
for what I've done, and,
670
00:41:39,043 --> 00:41:43,047
well, you have
no reason to believe
a louse like me, but...
671
00:41:43,047 --> 00:41:45,549
when I told you
I didn't deserve you,
672
00:41:45,549 --> 00:41:48,552
I, um,
well, I meant it.
673
00:41:50,988 --> 00:41:52,990
Well,
674
00:41:52,990 --> 00:41:55,993
it was interesting
knowing you.
675
00:41:59,496 --> 00:42:01,498
Cupcake,
676
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,386
the guy
you're looking for
is out there.
677
00:42:06,387 --> 00:42:08,889
I know you'll find him.
678
00:42:09,857 --> 00:42:11,859
Who knows?
679
00:42:12,359 --> 00:42:16,864
Maybe you'll be
that guy... some day.
680
00:42:22,820 --> 00:42:24,822
[ Clears Throat ]
681
00:42:24,822 --> 00:42:28,692
I feel like such a fool.
I thought he liked me for me.
Mmm.
682
00:42:28,692 --> 00:42:31,195
Men, they're only
interested in one thing.
Mm-hm-hmm.
683
00:42:31,195 --> 00:42:36,200
I never thought I'd say this,
but I feel so-- so...used.
684
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,203
Oh, well,
never mind, love.
I mean, it's his loss.
685
00:42:39,203 --> 00:42:42,706
Actually, uh,
it is.
Oh!
686
00:42:42,706 --> 00:42:45,209
[ Both Laugh ]
687
00:42:46,710 --> 00:42:49,713
Question-- Uh,
if you knew that we were men,
why'd you play along?
688
00:42:50,214 --> 00:42:52,716
Well, I think all men
should walk a mile
in women's shoes.
689
00:42:52,716 --> 00:42:55,719
They might learn
a thing or two.
Don't you agree, sonny?
690
00:42:56,220 --> 00:42:58,222
You said it,
Twank.
Ohh!
691
00:42:58,222 --> 00:43:01,225
Actually,
my feet are killin' me.
Well, gotta run.
692
00:43:01,225 --> 00:43:03,110
Well, good-bye, boys.
And remember,
693
00:43:03,610 --> 00:43:05,546
I'll always keep
a warm spot open for you.
694
00:43:05,546 --> 00:43:07,998
You come back anytime.
695
00:43:10,501 --> 00:43:12,002
You never know.
696
00:43:14,505 --> 00:43:17,007
[ Mouths Farewell,
Sighs ]
697
00:43:26,166 --> 00:43:28,936
Closed-Captioned By
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55140
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