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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:05,159
(FAINT TRAFFIC DIN)
2
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,160
(MUZAK PLAYS)
3
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,920
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
4
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,440
(CLICKS PHONE)
5
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,200
(SOFT INDISTINCT CHATTER)
6
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,960
(LIFT DINGS)
7
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,240
(AUTOMATED VOICE
SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE)
8
00:00:49,938 --> 00:00:52,410
_
9
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,160
Would you excuse me?
10
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:03,599
(PHONE RINGS)
11
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:04,931
MAN (ON VOICEMAIL): It's Easton West.
12
00:01:04,956 --> 00:01:06,639
You know what to do.
13
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,120
Shit.
14
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,319
I'm sorry,
15
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,999
did I just interrupt
a group prostate exam?
16
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,919
Pull your fingers out of your
fuckin' arses and get to work!
17
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:35,719
ALL: Yes, Chef!
18
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,320
Easton?
19
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,159
- What are you doing?
- Running a kitchen.
20
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,959
What I'm not doing
is two-bit whoring myself
21
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,559
to some cashed-up clowns
that are profiting off my name.
22
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,239
Easton, I managed to get you this gig,
23
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,159
which makes me manager
of the fucking year.
24
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,119
Now, you do what your contract says
25
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,919
and you get out there
and you shake some investor hands
26
00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:53,244
and get the hell out of the kitchen.
27
00:01:53,291 --> 00:01:55,022
_
28
00:01:55,061 --> 00:01:57,371
_
29
00:01:57,395 --> 00:01:58,646
_
30
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,959
- ALL: Yes, Chef!
- Who's the soigné?
31
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,319
Oh, are you fucking kidding me?
32
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,279
Is there a real food critic in
the house or just that tabloid hack?
33
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,319
Do you really
want to take a running jump
34
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,959
off the only bridge that you haven't
burnt in this industry?
35
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,399
See the Chinese cast
of Goodfellas out there?
36
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,079
- They're your last chance.
- Well, send them my apologies
37
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,679
along with a photo
of my Michelin-starred arse.
38
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,199
And tell that critic hack that
the only opinion I'd trust from her
39
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,999
is what her editor's balls taste like.
40
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,799
What the fuck is that?!
41
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,999
It's supposed to be pork
with potato quenelle.
42
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,959
Does that look like
a quenelle to you, does it?
43
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,559
It's a smear.
44
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,519
I didn't realise
they did quenelles anymore.
45
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,919
What kind of actual fuck...?!
46
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,359
(GLASS CRASHING)
47
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,319
Anyone else smudges my spud
48
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,640
and I will personally spit-roast you!
49
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,440
Service.
50
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,239
Give that to the hag on 9.
51
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,559
This isn't just your career
that you're messing with, you know?
52
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,645
- And you promised me...
- No, no, no, no!
53
00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:56,644
Why am I still seeing smears?
When I say quenelles...
54
00:02:56,669 --> 00:02:58,089
- ...I mean fucking quenelles!
- Jesus Christ, Easton,
55
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,759
no-one gives a shit about your quenelles!
56
00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,839
It's your name and your face
that they want,
57
00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,439
and this is one of the few places
58
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,999
where that name
actually still means something.
59
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,359
So if I were you I would be playing ball
60
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,999
and getting the fuck out of the kitchen
61
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,680
before you get us both into shit!
62
00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,079
Excuse me, Chef.
63
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,999
The hag on 9 says hello
64
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,239
and she would like to return her
over-salty quenelle back to 1991.
65
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,080
Please for your response?
66
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,800
Easton...
67
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,879
Easton, what are you doing?
68
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,279
(EASTON YELLS)
69
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,639
(THE SAINTS' I'M STRANDED PLAYS)
70
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,319
♪ Like a snake calling on the phone ♪
71
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,151
♪ I've got no time to be alone ♪
72
00:03:42,183 --> 00:03:44,999
♪ There's someone
coming at me all the time ♪
73
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,919
♪ Yeah, babe, I think I'll lose my mind ♪
74
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,680
♪ 'Cause I'm stranded on my own ♪
75
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,200
♪ Stranded far from home ♪
76
00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,880
♪ All right ♪
77
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,719
♪ I'm riding on a midnight train ♪
78
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,519
♪ But everybody just looks the same ♪
79
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,199
♪ A subway light, its dirty reflection ♪
80
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,879
♪ I'm lost, babe I've got no direction ♪
81
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:17,360
♪ And I'm stranded on my own ♪
82
00:04:17,392 --> 00:04:20,477
-- Subs by kinglouisxx --
for www.addic7ed.com
83
00:04:21,496 --> 00:04:25,215
(BIRDS WARBLING)
84
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:31,800
(CLICKS PHONE)
85
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,039
Have you guys decided yet, or...?
86
00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,839
- Oh, I dunno.
- (CLICKS PHONE)
87
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,759
- They look so amazing.
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Yeah.
88
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,999
Um, yeah, well,
we might come back later, eh?
89
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,679
Yeah, cool. No, you won't.
90
00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,160
All right, bye!
91
00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,119
And off they go to Zhao's.
92
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,279
Man, why can't we
get that kind of attention?
93
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,239
- 'Cause we aren't Ben Zhao?
- Yet.
94
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,319
And if you don't work
on your customer service skills,
95
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,399
you'll never be Ben Zhao.
96
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,759
Nayani, just do me a favour
97
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:05,519
and just gaze upon my remix
of Grandma June's Prune Lagoon, okay?
98
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,480
I'm a goddamn artist,
not a friggin' salesperson.
99
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,679
I just feel like we deserve so much more
100
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,839
than just slinging our desserts
101
00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,519
out of the gutter
like a pair of strumpets.
102
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:18,279
- Diana, we are not strumpets.
- Shh.
103
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,599
Zhao's sous-chef, three o'clock.
104
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,199
Mmm-mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm.
105
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,679
This strumpet wanna humpet that crumpet.
106
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,200
You might actually have to, I dunno,
have a conversation with him first?
107
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,400
Nah. I'm a zero to 100 kinda gal.
108
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,399
What do we think? Should we call it?
109
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,280
I need to study for my exams.
110
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,599
MAN: So how was the stall today?
111
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,759
DIANA: Really good, yeah. Smashed it.
112
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,359
- Hot Buns is hot.
- Hm.
113
00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,039
And did you also smash your
enrolment, like you said you would?
114
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,039
Mum, do I really
want to be tied down with uni
115
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,359
when I could be focusing
on my real vocation?
116
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:03,959
We would both just prefer
if you had a more stable vocation.
117
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,759
We are not saying you can't bake.
You just...
118
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,479
But you need options.
119
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,880
Well, don't speak for Brett.
Brett, what do you want?
120
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,679
I want you both... to be happy.
121
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,639
There you go!
Bretty wants a bitch to bake.
122
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,239
- Uh-uh. No.
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
123
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:22,503
- No, no, no. Brett... Brett...
- I'll get it.
124
00:06:22,528 --> 00:06:24,959
No, Brett never said
he wanted a bitch to bake.
125
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:28,304
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- All right, I'm coming. Jeez!
126
00:06:29,809 --> 00:06:31,248
Hi.
127
00:06:31,273 --> 00:06:34,712
Shut... the fuck up.
128
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,039
Does Denise live here?
129
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,119
Is this...? What is this?
What is happening?
130
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,839
Well, if I'm in the wrong place, I...
131
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:42,320
I'm Diana!
132
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,439
Your niece, dude.
133
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:46,445
Oh, right.
134
00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:48,559
I tried to add you on Facey,
like, years ago,
135
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:49,961
but it ended up
just being a fan account.
136
00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:51,826
It's taken down now.
137
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,039
- Do you mind if I come in?
- Sure. Yes. Come in.
138
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,920
Just in time for some spag bol, love.
139
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,759
You know what?
140
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,320
In real life,
you two have the same eyes.
141
00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,360
Mm.
142
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,719
- You have a nice place.
- Thanks. It's all Denise.
143
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,159
Except the blinds. That's my specialty.
144
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,279
Actually, that's how we met.
145
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,039
I installed the blinds
in Denise's old place
146
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,093
after she split up with...
147
00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:31,561
- (COUGHING) Cockhead!
- Diana.
148
00:07:31,586 --> 00:07:32,926
- What?
- Diana.
149
00:07:32,951 --> 00:07:35,039
He's my father.
I can call him whatever I want.
150
00:07:35,064 --> 00:07:37,024
(CLEARS THROAT)
Is this bottled pasta sauce?
151
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,079
Pasta's well cooked. Yeah. Al dente.
152
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,920
It's timed perfectly, hon.
153
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,439
Mmm.
154
00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,319
I like cooking, but I'm no MasterChef.
155
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,479
I do know my julienne
from my lazy Susan.
156
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,399
- (DIANA CHUCKLES)
- Diana has your cooking genes.
157
00:07:59,424 --> 00:08:00,904
(BANGS TABLE)
158
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,759
I think I'm gonna get an early night.
159
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,953
- Mum, it's 6:30.
- I'm tired.
160
00:08:07,016 --> 00:08:10,575
Brett, can you please see Jimmy...
I'm sorry, Easton out?
161
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,199
No, I can... I can help clean up.
162
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,399
No, um, it's-it's fine. I...
163
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,079
I've been doing fine without your help
164
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,519
for, how long is it now, 30 years?
165
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,954
And as much as I would love you to stay,
166
00:08:20,979 --> 00:08:22,719
because you clearly
have nowhere else to go,
167
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,199
I'm afraid we don't have the space.
168
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,079
- What, nowhere else to go?
- We have a sofa.
169
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,839
Well, I'm not here
because I have nowhere else to go.
170
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,199
I could be in London right now,
or Paris.
171
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,159
You know, I wanted
to get back in touch with my roots,
172
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,639
you know, spend time with family.
173
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,767
(LAUGHS)
174
00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:38,125
You know, the whole Shanghai thing
175
00:08:38,149 --> 00:08:39,680
has been blown out of proportion anyway.
176
00:08:39,705 --> 00:08:42,975
You don't think a chef has thrown
an animal carcass at someone before?
177
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,559
I mean, it's a beat-up.
178
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,239
People in the industry get it.
179
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,279
Well, I'm not in the industry,
I use bottled pasta sauce,
180
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:53,679
and if you really, really want
to spend time with family, great.
181
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:57,200
Spend it with fucking Dad.
He has plenty of room.
182
00:08:58,976 --> 00:09:01,040
And you'd better not drive him.
183
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,079
(MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO)
184
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,750
You know, you might actually
like this place, dude.
185
00:09:08,775 --> 00:09:10,479
We've got quite the food and wine scene.
186
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,959
Can you please slow down?
187
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,079
(TYRES SCREECH)
188
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,360
- Fuck!
- (HORN BEEPS)
189
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,431
Jesus.
190
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:21,479
Oh. That place there, Zhao's,
that's, like, the hot joint.
191
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,879
Zhao's? As in... Ben Zhao?
192
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,639
What, you know Zhao?
193
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,599
Holy shit, dude! He's huge!
194
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,199
We should go say hi.
195
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,640
No.
196
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,759
He can't be that huge.
197
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,199
I mean, he's no Easton West.
198
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,799
Which he's probably happy about
right about now.
199
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,439
I'm kidding!
200
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,439
I'm kidding. I mean, if you had a
place here, you'd shit all over him.
201
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,959
Yeah, well, I was thinking about
opening a place up here.
202
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,199
Yeah, cool. Definitely.
203
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,919
I mean, once you've, you know,
204
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,119
served your time and paid your penance,
205
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,919
you should totally
try and make a comeback.
206
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,159
What do you mean, "paid my penance"?
207
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,639
(SCOFFS SOFTLY)
208
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:02,999
Oh. Okay.
209
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,919
Guys like you, I mean,
210
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,639
you gotta follow the recipe, right?
211
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,479
I mean, you make your
heartfelt apology to the press
212
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,719
and then you go into 'bad man' exile
213
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,719
and then, after all that, then
you can, you know, make a comeback.
214
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,759
I'm not going into 'bad man' exile.
I'm not a bad man.
215
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,639
This place would be lucky to have me.
216
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,280
Okay.
217
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,599
You know I'm actually in the biz, too?
218
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,959
- Desserts are kinda my thing.
- (GROANS SOFTLY)
219
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,999
Actually,
you might be able to help me out.
220
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,919
Could you, like,
put me in touch with someone,
221
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,759
like Nigella, or...?
222
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,719
- We don't talk anymore.
- Yeah.
223
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,439
Yeah, I just need connections, dude.
224
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,719
You know, I mean, I feel like
it's kinda the least you could do
225
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,334
after all these years of radio silence
226
00:10:42,359 --> 00:10:43,918
and not even knowing I exist.
227
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:45,398
That's a completely separate issue.
228
00:10:45,423 --> 00:10:47,142
You should never
mix business with family.
229
00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,759
And can you please slow the fuck down?!
230
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,759
Jeez. Okay.
231
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,239
(MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO)
232
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,000
- (CLICKS BUTTON)
- (MUSIC STOPS)
233
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,959
Oh.
234
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,720
I got finger-banged there.
235
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,519
Hey, can we do a cookout here one night?
236
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:18,320
Pop tells me you guys used to do
a mean barbecue on the fire pit.
237
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,000
- (HANDBRAKE CLICKS)
- Or not.
238
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,839
Oh, yeah. Your mum's old cookbook.
239
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,479
I use her recipes as inspo.
240
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,271
I know I never actually
got to meet Nan, but I feel...
241
00:11:30,296 --> 00:11:32,096
This is mine.
242
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:37,919
Hey, if you need a lift
or, like, a shoulder to cry on,
243
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,640
I'm here for ya, Unkie Eastie.
244
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,759
(HUFFS)
245
00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,239
Seriously.
246
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,199
Not about the crying, though!
247
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,840
That'd be weird. Okay!
248
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,320
Laters!
249
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,799
MAN: State your business.
250
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,719
(RACING COMMENTARY ON TV)
251
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,959
Dad.
252
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,319
It's me, Easton.
253
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,479
(RACING COMMENTARY CONTINUES)
254
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,519
Oh.
255
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,759
Jimmy.
256
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,039
The room's in the same spot.
257
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,159
Like you now... full of shit.
258
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,360
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
259
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,880
Ah, it's good to see you, too.
260
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,879
Don't call me 'Jimmy'.
261
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,240
(CHUCKLES)
262
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,280
Jesus...
263
00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,080
(EXHALES)
264
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,760
(EXHALES)
265
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,280
(SIGHS)
266
00:13:42,791 --> 00:13:43,848
(STIRRING)
267
00:13:43,873 --> 00:13:45,639
DIANA: I really think we connected.
268
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,759
And he was, like,
super impressed with my stuff.
269
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,239
NAYANI: (ON PHONE) He said that?
270
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,239
Well, I mean, it was in his eyes.
271
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,359
And is he as mean as he seems?
272
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,199
Oh, 100%, but in, like, a cool way.
273
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,879
There isn't a cool way.
274
00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,919
There absolutely is. We just
have to pretend like there isn't.
275
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,840
Oh, shit. I think I over-egged.
276
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,959
You know, it might actually help
having him around.
277
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,799
Help how? He can't even help himself.
278
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,075
Give it time, Nayani.
279
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:12,319
I mean, you know, anything's possible.
280
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,239
- (PHONE CHIMES)
- And, besides, I mean, he's got...
281
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,872
really good connections.
282
00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,159
_
283
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,238
(GASPS)
284
00:14:19,263 --> 00:14:22,063
- Holy shit.
- What?
285
00:14:23,352 --> 00:14:24,912
What?
286
00:14:24,936 --> 00:14:26,279
_
287
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,759
Diana?
288
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,839
Sorry, I gotta go.
289
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,320
Wait. Can you...?
290
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,519
MAN 1: Now, Chef, it's been a while
since you've been back in Adelaide.
291
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:36,830
EASTON: It's been a while, yes.
292
00:14:36,855 --> 00:14:38,814
Were you glad to see
the Mall's Balls are still here?
293
00:14:38,839 --> 00:14:40,207
I don't know what that is.
294
00:14:40,232 --> 00:14:43,279
MAN 2: Now, Chef,
you've had a brutal couple of weeks.
295
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,159
- How are you feeling?
- I wouldn't call it brutal.
296
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,279
Well, you're back in Adelaide.
That's pretty brutal.
297
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,839
And you asked to come on our show,
which is pretty tragic.
298
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,679
- Well, I heard great things.
- Yeah.
299
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,239
Returning home has actually
been on the cards for a while.
300
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,519
I found myself at the stage where
I wanted to get back to my roots,
301
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,935
support the local industry.
302
00:14:58,967 --> 00:15:00,196
And it's interesting you say that
303
00:15:00,221 --> 00:15:01,943
because our producers did some digging
304
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,347
- and they found a direct quote...
- Yeah, that's right.
305
00:15:03,372 --> 00:15:06,999
Where you refer to Adelaide as
"a pitiful, parochial cesspit
306
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,119
"of a syphilitic city
of ill-bred boorish oafs
307
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,239
"who wouldn't know a cassoulet
from a deep-fried donkey's dick".
308
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,880
Damn.
309
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,599
Well, clearly, that was said in jest.
310
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,679
Hm.
311
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,479
No, I'm actually loving being home,
312
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:25,039
spending time with family,
with my dad, and my niece.
313
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,479
Oh, yeah, I'm sure you are.
314
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,359
Let's talk about Shanghai, because
you really didn't hold back, did ya?
315
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,239
Could say you went the whole hog.
316
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,759
I'm not proud of what I did,
but I was under a lot of pressure
317
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,039
and reached boiling point.
318
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,237
- Happens to the best of us.
- Yep.
319
00:15:36,262 --> 00:15:38,308
We all feel the stress
and then punch dudes
320
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:39,587
and then throw a pig in a lady's lap.
321
00:15:39,612 --> 00:15:41,666
For me, Ben,
that's a regular Friday night.
322
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,073
Yeah, look, if I could go back and...
323
00:15:43,098 --> 00:15:45,335
Was it a 'farm to table' thing
you were going for?
324
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,439
No, no, no.
It was farm to table to cancelled!
325
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,279
Will you let me fuckin' talk?!
326
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,760
I'm trying to apologise, but you
keep interrupting! Stop being rude!
327
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,559
Yes, I went too far,
328
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,839
but I want to put it behind me
and focus on the future.
329
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,839
And, no, no, I have not been cancelled
330
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,799
because I am actually...
I'm actually opening up
331
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,829
my very first
Australian restaurant here.
332
00:16:05,854 --> 00:16:07,269
Hm. Really?
333
00:16:07,294 --> 00:16:11,079
Yeah. I'm bringing Michelin-star
dining to the Adelaide Hills.
334
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,239
It's very exciting.
So, could we please focus on that?
335
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,479
Yeah. Our apologies, Chef.
That actually is quite exciting.
336
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,399
Um... now, did you manage
to bring home the bacon,
337
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,999
or is that still in Shanghai?
338
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,839
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- (SNORTS)
339
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,839
Don't mind us. We're just
carrying on like pork chops.
340
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,759
- (LAUGHS)
- Don't hog all the jokes, Liam.
341
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,359
- Are we 'boaring' you?
- (BOTH LAUGH)
342
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,959
Somebody call the 'hambulance'!
343
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,479
You're with Ben and Liam.
344
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,959
(CHEERING, GLASS SMASHING)
345
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,519
It really wasn't that bad.
346
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,959
I mean, no... nobody even really
listens to popular commercial radio.
347
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,159
You're supposed to help
my situation, not screw it harder.
348
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,799
Why the Christ did I even listen to you?
349
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,959
Well, I mean,
I said to lay low for a while.
350
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,479
I didn't say go announce your comeback.
351
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,787
I mean, how the hell are you supposed
352
00:16:49,812 --> 00:16:51,303
to start a restaurant now, ya big newb?
353
00:16:51,328 --> 00:16:53,247
I mean, who the hell are you, anyway?
354
00:16:53,272 --> 00:16:55,159
You run a shitty cake stall.
355
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,799
When I was your age,
I was working for Robuchon.
356
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,720
Yeah, as a dish-pig.
357
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,679
You know,
if there's one thing I cannot stand,
358
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,439
it's fat girls playing
their 'wacky, zany, funny' card
359
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,400
to cover up their insecurities.
360
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,960
Oh, don't be such a big baby!
361
00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,600
And don't leave your shit with me!
362
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,199
♪ Ooh, wah, ooh, wah ♪
363
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,879
♪ Ooh, wah ♪
364
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,399
♪ Ooh, wah ♪
365
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,479
♪ Ooh, wah, ooh, wah ♪
366
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,320
♪ Ooh, wah, ooh, wah... ♪
367
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,839
DENISE: Knock, knock.
368
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,559
- (VACUUM WHIRRS)
- Won't be long.
369
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,599
I can do it myself, Mum.
370
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,519
I'm doing the other rooms anyway.
371
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,999
(VACUUM WHIRRS)
372
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,560
Finally doing your enrolment, I see.
373
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,000
(BIRD CAWING)
374
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,680
(STARTS ENGINE)
375
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,320
(HANDBRAKE CREAKS)
376
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,320
Chef West!
377
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,079
Dude, it's been crazy.
378
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,482
After I came back from London,
379
00:18:17,507 --> 00:18:20,239
I was just sick and tired
of being someone's bitch.
380
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,559
You know?
381
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,999
I just wanted to do my food
in my own joint
382
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,599
and be close to the Hills,
so I started this place.
383
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,319
And the first year, I got my first hat,
384
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,159
second year, second hat.
385
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,719
This is my third year.
And you know what?
386
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,383
I don't really care about that bullshit.
387
00:18:34,408 --> 00:18:36,510
No, well,
it's like with my Michelin stars...
388
00:18:36,535 --> 00:18:39,119
It didn't even matter
when Eminem raved about me
389
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,759
or, uh, Marco Pierre White named us
his fave Australian restaurant.
390
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,039
No, no.
391
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,519
For me,
392
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,439
it's about being able to express
my life journey through my food.
393
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,679
Nainai.
394
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,839
She's inspired my whole menu.
395
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,559
(SIGHS)
396
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,440
Anyway, enough about me.
397
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,039
What can I do you for?
398
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:03,119
Well, actually, I'm here
to offer you an opportunity.
399
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,799
How would you like
to get in on the ground...?
400
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,999
Oh. Wait, wait, wait. Ah, here we go.
Thanks, Kwame.
401
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,399
Deep-fried snapper on betel leaf,
locally sourced.
402
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,360
Try it.
403
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,959
It's good, right?
404
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,799
People go nuts for it.
It's even got its own hashtag.
405
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,439
I'm not really across that stuff.
406
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,039
You should catch up.
407
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,919
Anyway, sorry, you were saying?
408
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,719
Yes, well, uh,
I'm not sure if you've heard,
409
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,559
but, um, I'm starting up my own...
410
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,039
Wait, wait, wait.
411
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,559
Wait till you try this.
412
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,519
Meat-pie dumpling
413
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,360
with Nan's special sauce.
414
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,480
(CLEARS THROAT)
415
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,159
Right?
416
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,559
People dig the authentic
but with a twist thing.
417
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,799
Actually, I have you to thank for that.
418
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,839
Do you remember when you fired me?
419
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,360
You said I'd never be anything more
than a small-town Chinese cook.
420
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,439
Turns out you were right.
421
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,320
Worked out pretty well, though.
422
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,279
Um, I don't remember saying that.
423
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:24,800
I do.
424
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,159
All right, look...
425
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:34,359
I know I'm not the most
popular guy at the moment,
426
00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,159
but cheffing is what I'm known for.
427
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,679
When all this bullshit has blown over,
428
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,199
I really want
to get something going here.
429
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,359
Dude, dude, come on. Blow over?
(CHUCKLES)
430
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,759
This isn't just about Shanghai,
this is your whole career.
431
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:52,519
Uh, bullying, abuse, sexism,
generally just being a dick.
432
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,559
You are gonna need to take some time,
433
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,679
like, find a new narrative or something
434
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,119
'cause people are over
the angry white guy schtick.
435
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,680
It's not a schtick.
436
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,840
Well, then people are over you.
437
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,680
My Nan's mapo balls.
438
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,440
Hashtag "Nan's balls".
439
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,800
What a prick.
440
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,200
(EXHALES SOFTLY)
441
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,559
(TYRES SCREECH)
442
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,159
Oh... Come on! For fuck's sake!
443
00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,039
- (BLARES HORN)
- Move it!
444
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,479
(BLARES HORN)
445
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,919
Jeez... (MUTTERS ANGRILY)
446
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,399
Shoo!
447
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:39,880
Move!
448
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,839
Fuckin' get out!
449
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,359
You aren't better than me!
450
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:45,839
You're a... you're a bird,
451
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,839
ya fuckin' mangy
452
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,839
fuckin' flightless fuck!
453
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,560
(GRUNTS)
454
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,240
Fuck you!
455
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,720
Fuck! (WHIMPERS)
456
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,479
(GUNSHOT)
457
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,559
Jesus Christ!
458
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,439
Oh...
459
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,560
Thanks for scaring her off, dickhead.
460
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,199
Is nobody in this place
just a little bit happy to see me?
461
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,279
Happy to see the back of you.
462
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,560
Did it occur to you that I might
just want to see my family...
463
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,639
say hello?
464
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,280
Well...
465
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,440
hello.
466
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,640
Hello, Dad.
467
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,560
- Je...!
- Gotcha!
468
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,879
There's your 'cock and van' sorted.
469
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,440
It's 'coq au vin'!
470
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,279
And it's with chicken, ya...
471
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,080
ya lunatic!
472
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,160
(SIGHS)
473
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,999
You know, the best thing
about people hating you,
474
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,399
once they're done hating you,
475
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,400
they just forget about ya.
476
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,879
I didn't think you liked desserts.
477
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,760
Well, I like Diana's.
478
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,640
It tastes like Mum's custard.
479
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,919
When was the last time
you used the fire pit?
480
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,120
Oh, buggered if I know.
481
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:58,039
But if you are doing a cookout,
you'd better invite Diana.
482
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,479
She's always on my bloody arse about it.
483
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,960
Yeah, good idea.
484
00:24:06,623 --> 00:24:07,740
(PHONE CHIMES)
485
00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:15,185
_
486
00:24:15,398 --> 00:24:19,104
_
487
00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:20,931
_
488
00:24:24,168 --> 00:24:26,240
_
489
00:24:26,462 --> 00:24:28,169
_
490
00:24:28,272 --> 00:24:29,947
_
491
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,719
What's all this?
492
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,519
Said you wanted a cookout.
493
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,759
Who invited you, dickhead?
494
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,160
Clearly not you, ya arsehole.
495
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,959
Okay.
496
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,119
Oh, this is seriously next level.
497
00:24:56,120 --> 00:25:00,919
I mean, Mum used to tell me
about the pit and the barbecue,
498
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,000
but, oh, man, the taste...
499
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,559
is good.
500
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,839
Oh, it's not that good.
501
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,079
My rabbit's raw.
502
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,359
I think he's trying to kill me.
503
00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:15,639
No, I just didn't burn it to a crisp
like you would've done.
504
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,879
I thought cooks were meant to cook.
505
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,440
Oh, I almost forgot.
506
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,040
I believe this is yours.
507
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,160
Thanks.
508
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,920
Also, I tried your cakes.
509
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,839
I might have trained
in top French kitchens,
510
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,440
but the reason I started cooking
was actually my mum.
511
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,360
I think she'd be proud.
512
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:52,239
Yeah, well, I'm, you know, all about
that authentic family shit
513
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:56,079
and I just put my own Diana spin on it.
514
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,399
Yeah, you see, that's fantastic.
It's a narrative.
515
00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,080
It's your narrative.
516
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,200
In a way, it's our narrative.
517
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,319
What a wanker.
518
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:08,920
I'm going to bed.
519
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,599
Don't choke on your own vomit.
520
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,000
Don't drown in your own bullshit.
521
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,559
So, is your plan
just to stick it out at the stall?
522
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,639
I dunno, I mean,
523
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,279
I probably won't even have that
for that much longer
524
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:27,919
because I'm broke
525
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,159
and Mum's on my back about uni
526
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,799
so I don't become you,
527
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,760
so, yeah, I dunno.
528
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,959
Don't ever let anybody
tell you what to do with your life.
529
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,079
I didn't.
530
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,360
And don't underestimate yourself.
You're more than just some baker.
531
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,159
Okay...
532
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:51,039
Look, if you found someone with
clout who could raise your profile,
533
00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,639
you could become huge.
534
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:54,959
Yeah, I know. That's why
I wanted Nigella's deets...
535
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,079
Well, Nigella's a hack.
536
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,040
And she can't make you one of the
greatest pastry chefs in the world.
537
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,799
What you need
is someone to partner up with,
538
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,239
build something together,
539
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,000
take it to the next level.
540
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,520
And that someone is you?
541
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,680
That's what family's for, right?
542
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:25,359
So I would be... your partner?
543
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,239
Or apprentice.
544
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:28,720
Partner.
545
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,919
Sure.
546
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,400
Partner.
547
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,999
Great. We open in a month.
548
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,839
(CHUCKLING) Yeah, we open in a month...
549
00:27:48,958 --> 00:27:50,323
I'm here to support my niece.
550
00:27:50,356 --> 00:27:52,705
Well, I hope your food's easier
to swallow than your bullshit.
551
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,240
DIANA: How about 'Hot Buns, Hotter Ass'?
552
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,960
What do you mean, "burial ground"?
553
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,560
It's a cliché to fuck me.
554
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,519
I have a pair, you fuck-knuckle!
555
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,320
They're just all up inside me!
40300
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