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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:05,159 (FAINT TRAFFIC DIN) 2 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,160 (MUZAK PLAYS) 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,920 (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 4 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:25,440 (CLICKS PHONE) 5 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:31,200 (SOFT INDISTINCT CHATTER) 6 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,960 (LIFT DINGS) 7 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,240 (AUTOMATED VOICE SPEAKING IN LOCAL LANGUAGE) 8 00:00:49,938 --> 00:00:52,410 _ 9 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,160 Would you excuse me? 10 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:03,599 (PHONE RINGS) 11 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:04,931 MAN (ON VOICEMAIL): It's Easton West. 12 00:01:04,956 --> 00:01:06,639 You know what to do. 13 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,120 Shit. 14 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,319 I'm sorry, 15 00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,999 did I just interrupt a group prostate exam? 16 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,919 Pull your fingers out of your fuckin' arses and get to work! 17 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:35,719 ALL: Yes, Chef! 18 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,320 Easton? 19 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,159 - What are you doing? - Running a kitchen. 20 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,959 What I'm not doing is two-bit whoring myself 21 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,559 to some cashed-up clowns that are profiting off my name. 22 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,239 Easton, I managed to get you this gig, 23 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,159 which makes me manager of the fucking year. 24 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:50,119 Now, you do what your contract says 25 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,919 and you get out there and you shake some investor hands 26 00:01:51,944 --> 00:01:53,244 and get the hell out of the kitchen. 27 00:01:53,291 --> 00:01:55,022 _ 28 00:01:55,061 --> 00:01:57,371 _ 29 00:01:57,395 --> 00:01:58,646 _ 30 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,959 - ALL: Yes, Chef! - Who's the soigné? 31 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,319 Oh, are you fucking kidding me? 32 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:06,279 Is there a real food critic in the house or just that tabloid hack? 33 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,319 Do you really want to take a running jump 34 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,959 off the only bridge that you haven't burnt in this industry? 35 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,399 See the Chinese cast of Goodfellas out there? 36 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,079 - They're your last chance. - Well, send them my apologies 37 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,679 along with a photo of my Michelin-starred arse. 38 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,199 And tell that critic hack that the only opinion I'd trust from her 39 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,999 is what her editor's balls taste like. 40 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,799 What the fuck is that?! 41 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,999 It's supposed to be pork with potato quenelle. 42 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,959 Does that look like a quenelle to you, does it? 43 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,559 It's a smear. 44 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,519 I didn't realise they did quenelles anymore. 45 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,919 What kind of actual fuck...?! 46 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:36,359 (GLASS CRASHING) 47 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:38,319 Anyone else smudges my spud 48 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,640 and I will personally spit-roast you! 49 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,440 Service. 50 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,239 Give that to the hag on 9. 51 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,559 This isn't just your career that you're messing with, you know? 52 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:54,645 - And you promised me... - No, no, no, no! 53 00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:56,644 Why am I still seeing smears? When I say quenelles... 54 00:02:56,669 --> 00:02:58,089 - ...I mean fucking quenelles! - Jesus Christ, Easton, 55 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,759 no-one gives a shit about your quenelles! 56 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,839 It's your name and your face that they want, 57 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,439 and this is one of the few places 58 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,999 where that name actually still means something. 59 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,359 So if I were you I would be playing ball 60 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,999 and getting the fuck out of the kitchen 61 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,680 before you get us both into shit! 62 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,079 Excuse me, Chef. 63 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,999 The hag on 9 says hello 64 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,239 and she would like to return her over-salty quenelle back to 1991. 65 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,080 Please for your response? 66 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,800 Easton... 67 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,879 Easton, what are you doing? 68 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,279 (EASTON YELLS) 69 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,639 (THE SAINTS' I'M STRANDED PLAYS) 70 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,319 ♪ Like a snake calling on the phone ♪ 71 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,151 ♪ I've got no time to be alone ♪ 72 00:03:42,183 --> 00:03:44,999 ♪ There's someone coming at me all the time ♪ 73 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,919 ♪ Yeah, babe, I think I'll lose my mind ♪ 74 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,680 ♪ 'Cause I'm stranded on my own ♪ 75 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:57,200 ♪ Stranded far from home ♪ 76 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,880 ♪ All right ♪ 77 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,719 ♪ I'm riding on a midnight train ♪ 78 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,519 ♪ But everybody just looks the same ♪ 79 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,199 ♪ A subway light, its dirty reflection ♪ 80 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,879 ♪ I'm lost, babe I've got no direction ♪ 81 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:17,360 ♪ And I'm stranded on my own ♪ 82 00:04:17,392 --> 00:04:20,477 -- Subs by kinglouisxx -- for www.addic7ed.com 83 00:04:21,496 --> 00:04:25,215 (BIRDS WARBLING) 84 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:31,800 (CLICKS PHONE) 85 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,039 Have you guys decided yet, or...? 86 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:36,839 - Oh, I dunno. - (CLICKS PHONE) 87 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,759 - They look so amazing. - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Yeah. 88 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,999 Um, yeah, well, we might come back later, eh? 89 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,679 Yeah, cool. No, you won't. 90 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,160 All right, bye! 91 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,119 And off they go to Zhao's. 92 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,279 Man, why can't we get that kind of attention? 93 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,239 - 'Cause we aren't Ben Zhao? - Yet. 94 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,319 And if you don't work on your customer service skills, 95 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,399 you'll never be Ben Zhao. 96 00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,759 Nayani, just do me a favour 97 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:05,519 and just gaze upon my remix of Grandma June's Prune Lagoon, okay? 98 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,480 I'm a goddamn artist, not a friggin' salesperson. 99 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,679 I just feel like we deserve so much more 100 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:13,839 than just slinging our desserts 101 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:15,519 out of the gutter like a pair of strumpets. 102 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:18,279 - Diana, we are not strumpets. - Shh. 103 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,599 Zhao's sous-chef, three o'clock. 104 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,199 Mmm-mmm. Mmm, mmm, mmm. 105 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,679 This strumpet wanna humpet that crumpet. 106 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:29,200 You might actually have to, I dunno, have a conversation with him first? 107 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,400 Nah. I'm a zero to 100 kinda gal. 108 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,399 What do we think? Should we call it? 109 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,280 I need to study for my exams. 110 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,599 MAN: So how was the stall today? 111 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,759 DIANA: Really good, yeah. Smashed it. 112 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:49,359 - Hot Buns is hot. - Hm. 113 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,039 And did you also smash your enrolment, like you said you would? 114 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,039 Mum, do I really want to be tied down with uni 115 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,359 when I could be focusing on my real vocation? 116 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:03,959 We would both just prefer if you had a more stable vocation. 117 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,759 We are not saying you can't bake. You just... 118 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,479 But you need options. 119 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,880 Well, don't speak for Brett. Brett, what do you want? 120 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,679 I want you both... to be happy. 121 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,639 There you go! Bretty wants a bitch to bake. 122 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,239 - Uh-uh. No. - (KNOCK AT DOOR) 123 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:22,503 - No, no, no. Brett... Brett... - I'll get it. 124 00:06:22,528 --> 00:06:24,959 No, Brett never said he wanted a bitch to bake. 125 00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:28,304 - (KNOCK AT DOOR) - All right, I'm coming. Jeez! 126 00:06:29,809 --> 00:06:31,248 Hi. 127 00:06:31,273 --> 00:06:34,712 Shut... the fuck up. 128 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,039 Does Denise live here? 129 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,119 Is this...? What is this? What is happening? 130 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,839 Well, if I'm in the wrong place, I... 131 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:42,320 I'm Diana! 132 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,439 Your niece, dude. 133 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:46,445 Oh, right. 134 00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:48,559 I tried to add you on Facey, like, years ago, 135 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:49,961 but it ended up just being a fan account. 136 00:06:49,986 --> 00:06:51,826 It's taken down now. 137 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,039 - Do you mind if I come in? - Sure. Yes. Come in. 138 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,920 Just in time for some spag bol, love. 139 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,759 You know what? 140 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,320 In real life, you two have the same eyes. 141 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:15,360 Mm. 142 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,719 - You have a nice place. - Thanks. It's all Denise. 143 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,159 Except the blinds. That's my specialty. 144 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,279 Actually, that's how we met. 145 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,039 I installed the blinds in Denise's old place 146 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,093 after she split up with... 147 00:07:30,118 --> 00:07:31,561 - (COUGHING) Cockhead! - Diana. 148 00:07:31,586 --> 00:07:32,926 - What? - Diana. 149 00:07:32,951 --> 00:07:35,039 He's my father. I can call him whatever I want. 150 00:07:35,064 --> 00:07:37,024 (CLEARS THROAT) Is this bottled pasta sauce? 151 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,079 Pasta's well cooked. Yeah. Al dente. 152 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:49,920 It's timed perfectly, hon. 153 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,439 Mmm. 154 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,319 I like cooking, but I'm no MasterChef. 155 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,479 I do know my julienne from my lazy Susan. 156 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,399 - (DIANA CHUCKLES) - Diana has your cooking genes. 157 00:07:59,424 --> 00:08:00,904 (BANGS TABLE) 158 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,759 I think I'm gonna get an early night. 159 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,953 - Mum, it's 6:30. - I'm tired. 160 00:08:07,016 --> 00:08:10,575 Brett, can you please see Jimmy... I'm sorry, Easton out? 161 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,199 No, I can... I can help clean up. 162 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,399 No, um, it's-it's fine. I... 163 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,079 I've been doing fine without your help 164 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,519 for, how long is it now, 30 years? 165 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,954 And as much as I would love you to stay, 166 00:08:20,979 --> 00:08:22,719 because you clearly have nowhere else to go, 167 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,199 I'm afraid we don't have the space. 168 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,079 - What, nowhere else to go? - We have a sofa. 169 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,839 Well, I'm not here because I have nowhere else to go. 170 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,199 I could be in London right now, or Paris. 171 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,159 You know, I wanted to get back in touch with my roots, 172 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:35,639 you know, spend time with family. 173 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,767 (LAUGHS) 174 00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:38,125 You know, the whole Shanghai thing 175 00:08:38,149 --> 00:08:39,680 has been blown out of proportion anyway. 176 00:08:39,705 --> 00:08:42,975 You don't think a chef has thrown an animal carcass at someone before? 177 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,559 I mean, it's a beat-up. 178 00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,239 People in the industry get it. 179 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,279 Well, I'm not in the industry, I use bottled pasta sauce, 180 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:53,679 and if you really, really want to spend time with family, great. 181 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:57,200 Spend it with fucking Dad. He has plenty of room. 182 00:08:58,976 --> 00:09:01,040 And you'd better not drive him. 183 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,079 (MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO) 184 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,750 You know, you might actually like this place, dude. 185 00:09:08,775 --> 00:09:10,479 We've got quite the food and wine scene. 186 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:11,959 Can you please slow down? 187 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,079 (TYRES SCREECH) 188 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,360 - Fuck! - (HORN BEEPS) 189 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,431 Jesus. 190 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:21,479 Oh. That place there, Zhao's, that's, like, the hot joint. 191 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,879 Zhao's? As in... Ben Zhao? 192 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,639 What, you know Zhao? 193 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,599 Holy shit, dude! He's huge! 194 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,199 We should go say hi. 195 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,640 No. 196 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,759 He can't be that huge. 197 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,199 I mean, he's no Easton West. 198 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,799 Which he's probably happy about right about now. 199 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,439 I'm kidding! 200 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,439 I'm kidding. I mean, if you had a place here, you'd shit all over him. 201 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,959 Yeah, well, I was thinking about opening a place up here. 202 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,199 Yeah, cool. Definitely. 203 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,919 I mean, once you've, you know, 204 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,119 served your time and paid your penance, 205 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,919 you should totally try and make a comeback. 206 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,159 What do you mean, "paid my penance"? 207 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:01,639 (SCOFFS SOFTLY) 208 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:02,999 Oh. Okay. 209 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,919 Guys like you, I mean, 210 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,639 you gotta follow the recipe, right? 211 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,479 I mean, you make your heartfelt apology to the press 212 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,719 and then you go into 'bad man' exile 213 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,719 and then, after all that, then you can, you know, make a comeback. 214 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,759 I'm not going into 'bad man' exile. I'm not a bad man. 215 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:21,639 This place would be lucky to have me. 216 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,280 Okay. 217 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,599 You know I'm actually in the biz, too? 218 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,959 - Desserts are kinda my thing. - (GROANS SOFTLY) 219 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,999 Actually, you might be able to help me out. 220 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,919 Could you, like, put me in touch with someone, 221 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,759 like Nigella, or...? 222 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,719 - We don't talk anymore. - Yeah. 223 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,439 Yeah, I just need connections, dude. 224 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,719 You know, I mean, I feel like it's kinda the least you could do 225 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,334 after all these years of radio silence 226 00:10:42,359 --> 00:10:43,918 and not even knowing I exist. 227 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:45,398 That's a completely separate issue. 228 00:10:45,423 --> 00:10:47,142 You should never mix business with family. 229 00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,759 And can you please slow the fuck down?! 230 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,759 Jeez. Okay. 231 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,239 (MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO) 232 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,000 - (CLICKS BUTTON) - (MUSIC STOPS) 233 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:01,959 Oh. 234 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,720 I got finger-banged there. 235 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,519 Hey, can we do a cookout here one night? 236 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:18,320 Pop tells me you guys used to do a mean barbecue on the fire pit. 237 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,000 - (HANDBRAKE CLICKS) - Or not. 238 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,839 Oh, yeah. Your mum's old cookbook. 239 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,479 I use her recipes as inspo. 240 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,271 I know I never actually got to meet Nan, but I feel... 241 00:11:30,296 --> 00:11:32,096 This is mine. 242 00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:37,919 Hey, if you need a lift or, like, a shoulder to cry on, 243 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,640 I'm here for ya, Unkie Eastie. 244 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:41,759 (HUFFS) 245 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,239 Seriously. 246 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,199 Not about the crying, though! 247 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,840 That'd be weird. Okay! 248 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,320 Laters! 249 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,799 MAN: State your business. 250 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,719 (RACING COMMENTARY ON TV) 251 00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,959 Dad. 252 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:21,319 It's me, Easton. 253 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,479 (RACING COMMENTARY CONTINUES) 254 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,519 Oh. 255 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,759 Jimmy. 256 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,039 The room's in the same spot. 257 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,159 Like you now... full of shit. 258 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:34,360 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 259 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,880 Ah, it's good to see you, too. 260 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,879 Don't call me 'Jimmy'. 261 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,240 (CHUCKLES) 262 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,280 Jesus... 263 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:59,080 (EXHALES) 264 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:02,760 (EXHALES) 265 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,280 (SIGHS) 266 00:13:42,791 --> 00:13:43,848 (STIRRING) 267 00:13:43,873 --> 00:13:45,639 DIANA: I really think we connected. 268 00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:47,759 And he was, like, super impressed with my stuff. 269 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,239 NAYANI: (ON PHONE) He said that? 270 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,239 Well, I mean, it was in his eyes. 271 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,359 And is he as mean as he seems? 272 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,199 Oh, 100%, but in, like, a cool way. 273 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,879 There isn't a cool way. 274 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:00,919 There absolutely is. We just have to pretend like there isn't. 275 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,840 Oh, shit. I think I over-egged. 276 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,959 You know, it might actually help having him around. 277 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,799 Help how? He can't even help himself. 278 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,075 Give it time, Nayani. 279 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:12,319 I mean, you know, anything's possible. 280 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,239 - (PHONE CHIMES) - And, besides, I mean, he's got... 281 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,872 really good connections. 282 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,159 _ 283 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,238 (GASPS) 284 00:14:19,263 --> 00:14:22,063 - Holy shit. - What? 285 00:14:23,352 --> 00:14:24,912 What? 286 00:14:24,936 --> 00:14:26,279 _ 287 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,759 Diana? 288 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,839 Sorry, I gotta go. 289 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,320 Wait. Can you...? 290 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,519 MAN 1: Now, Chef, it's been a while since you've been back in Adelaide. 291 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:36,830 EASTON: It's been a while, yes. 292 00:14:36,855 --> 00:14:38,814 Were you glad to see the Mall's Balls are still here? 293 00:14:38,839 --> 00:14:40,207 I don't know what that is. 294 00:14:40,232 --> 00:14:43,279 MAN 2: Now, Chef, you've had a brutal couple of weeks. 295 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,159 - How are you feeling? - I wouldn't call it brutal. 296 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,279 Well, you're back in Adelaide. That's pretty brutal. 297 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:49,839 And you asked to come on our show, which is pretty tragic. 298 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,679 - Well, I heard great things. - Yeah. 299 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,239 Returning home has actually been on the cards for a while. 300 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,519 I found myself at the stage where I wanted to get back to my roots, 301 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,935 support the local industry. 302 00:14:58,967 --> 00:15:00,196 And it's interesting you say that 303 00:15:00,221 --> 00:15:01,943 because our producers did some digging 304 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:03,347 - and they found a direct quote... - Yeah, that's right. 305 00:15:03,372 --> 00:15:06,999 Where you refer to Adelaide as "a pitiful, parochial cesspit 306 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,119 "of a syphilitic city of ill-bred boorish oafs 307 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,239 "who wouldn't know a cassoulet from a deep-fried donkey's dick". 308 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,880 Damn. 309 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,599 Well, clearly, that was said in jest. 310 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,679 Hm. 311 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,479 No, I'm actually loving being home, 312 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:25,039 spending time with family, with my dad, and my niece. 313 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,479 Oh, yeah, I'm sure you are. 314 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,359 Let's talk about Shanghai, because you really didn't hold back, did ya? 315 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,239 Could say you went the whole hog. 316 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,759 I'm not proud of what I did, but I was under a lot of pressure 317 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,039 and reached boiling point. 318 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,237 - Happens to the best of us. - Yep. 319 00:15:36,262 --> 00:15:38,308 We all feel the stress and then punch dudes 320 00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:39,587 and then throw a pig in a lady's lap. 321 00:15:39,612 --> 00:15:41,666 For me, Ben, that's a regular Friday night. 322 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,073 Yeah, look, if I could go back and... 323 00:15:43,098 --> 00:15:45,335 Was it a 'farm to table' thing you were going for? 324 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,439 No, no, no. It was farm to table to cancelled! 325 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,279 Will you let me fuckin' talk?! 326 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,760 I'm trying to apologise, but you keep interrupting! Stop being rude! 327 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,559 Yes, I went too far, 328 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,839 but I want to put it behind me and focus on the future. 329 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,839 And, no, no, I have not been cancelled 330 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,799 because I am actually... I'm actually opening up 331 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,829 my very first Australian restaurant here. 332 00:16:05,854 --> 00:16:07,269 Hm. Really? 333 00:16:07,294 --> 00:16:11,079 Yeah. I'm bringing Michelin-star dining to the Adelaide Hills. 334 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,239 It's very exciting. So, could we please focus on that? 335 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,479 Yeah. Our apologies, Chef. That actually is quite exciting. 336 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,399 Um... now, did you manage to bring home the bacon, 337 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,999 or is that still in Shanghai? 338 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,839 - (BOTH LAUGH) - (SNORTS) 339 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,839 Don't mind us. We're just carrying on like pork chops. 340 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,759 - (LAUGHS) - Don't hog all the jokes, Liam. 341 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,359 - Are we 'boaring' you? - (BOTH LAUGH) 342 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,959 Somebody call the 'hambulance'! 343 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,479 You're with Ben and Liam. 344 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,959 (CHEERING, GLASS SMASHING) 345 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,519 It really wasn't that bad. 346 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,959 I mean, no... nobody even really listens to popular commercial radio. 347 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,159 You're supposed to help my situation, not screw it harder. 348 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:44,799 Why the Christ did I even listen to you? 349 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,959 Well, I mean, I said to lay low for a while. 350 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,479 I didn't say go announce your comeback. 351 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,787 I mean, how the hell are you supposed 352 00:16:49,812 --> 00:16:51,303 to start a restaurant now, ya big newb? 353 00:16:51,328 --> 00:16:53,247 I mean, who the hell are you, anyway? 354 00:16:53,272 --> 00:16:55,159 You run a shitty cake stall. 355 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,799 When I was your age, I was working for Robuchon. 356 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,720 Yeah, as a dish-pig. 357 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,679 You know, if there's one thing I cannot stand, 358 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,439 it's fat girls playing their 'wacky, zany, funny' card 359 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,400 to cover up their insecurities. 360 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,960 Oh, don't be such a big baby! 361 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:20,600 And don't leave your shit with me! 362 00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,199 ♪ Ooh, wah, ooh, wah ♪ 363 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,879 ♪ Ooh, wah ♪ 364 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,399 ♪ Ooh, wah ♪ 365 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,479 ♪ Ooh, wah, ooh, wah ♪ 366 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,320 ♪ Ooh, wah, ooh, wah... ♪ 367 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:36,839 DENISE: Knock, knock. 368 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,559 - (VACUUM WHIRRS) - Won't be long. 369 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,599 I can do it myself, Mum. 370 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,519 I'm doing the other rooms anyway. 371 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,999 (VACUUM WHIRRS) 372 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,560 Finally doing your enrolment, I see. 373 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,000 (BIRD CAWING) 374 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,680 (STARTS ENGINE) 375 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,320 (HANDBRAKE CREAKS) 376 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,320 Chef West! 377 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,079 Dude, it's been crazy. 378 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,482 After I came back from London, 379 00:18:17,507 --> 00:18:20,239 I was just sick and tired of being someone's bitch. 380 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,559 You know? 381 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,999 I just wanted to do my food in my own joint 382 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,599 and be close to the Hills, so I started this place. 383 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,319 And the first year, I got my first hat, 384 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,159 second year, second hat. 385 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,719 This is my third year. And you know what? 386 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,383 I don't really care about that bullshit. 387 00:18:34,408 --> 00:18:36,510 No, well, it's like with my Michelin stars... 388 00:18:36,535 --> 00:18:39,119 It didn't even matter when Eminem raved about me 389 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,759 or, uh, Marco Pierre White named us his fave Australian restaurant. 390 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,039 No, no. 391 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,519 For me, 392 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:48,439 it's about being able to express my life journey through my food. 393 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,679 Nainai. 394 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,839 She's inspired my whole menu. 395 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,559 (SIGHS) 396 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,440 Anyway, enough about me. 397 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,039 What can I do you for? 398 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:03,119 Well, actually, I'm here to offer you an opportunity. 399 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,799 How would you like to get in on the ground...? 400 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,999 Oh. Wait, wait, wait. Ah, here we go. Thanks, Kwame. 401 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,399 Deep-fried snapper on betel leaf, locally sourced. 402 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,360 Try it. 403 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,959 It's good, right? 404 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,799 People go nuts for it. It's even got its own hashtag. 405 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,439 I'm not really across that stuff. 406 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,039 You should catch up. 407 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,919 Anyway, sorry, you were saying? 408 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,719 Yes, well, uh, I'm not sure if you've heard, 409 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,559 but, um, I'm starting up my own... 410 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,039 Wait, wait, wait. 411 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,559 Wait till you try this. 412 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,519 Meat-pie dumpling 413 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,360 with Nan's special sauce. 414 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,480 (CLEARS THROAT) 415 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,159 Right? 416 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,559 People dig the authentic but with a twist thing. 417 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,799 Actually, I have you to thank for that. 418 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,839 Do you remember when you fired me? 419 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:14,360 You said I'd never be anything more than a small-town Chinese cook. 420 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,439 Turns out you were right. 421 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,320 Worked out pretty well, though. 422 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,279 Um, I don't remember saying that. 423 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:24,800 I do. 424 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,159 All right, look... 425 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:34,359 I know I'm not the most popular guy at the moment, 426 00:20:34,360 --> 00:20:36,159 but cheffing is what I'm known for. 427 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,679 When all this bullshit has blown over, 428 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,199 I really want to get something going here. 429 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:44,359 Dude, dude, come on. Blow over? (CHUCKLES) 430 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,759 This isn't just about Shanghai, this is your whole career. 431 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:52,519 Uh, bullying, abuse, sexism, generally just being a dick. 432 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,559 You are gonna need to take some time, 433 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,679 like, find a new narrative or something 434 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,119 'cause people are over the angry white guy schtick. 435 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,680 It's not a schtick. 436 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,840 Well, then people are over you. 437 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,680 My Nan's mapo balls. 438 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,440 Hashtag "Nan's balls". 439 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,800 What a prick. 440 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,200 (EXHALES SOFTLY) 441 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,559 (TYRES SCREECH) 442 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,159 Oh... Come on! For fuck's sake! 443 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,039 - (BLARES HORN) - Move it! 444 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,479 (BLARES HORN) 445 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,919 Jeez... (MUTTERS ANGRILY) 446 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:38,399 Shoo! 447 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:39,880 Move! 448 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:42,839 Fuckin' get out! 449 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,359 You aren't better than me! 450 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:45,839 You're a... you're a bird, 451 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,839 ya fuckin' mangy 452 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,839 fuckin' flightless fuck! 453 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,560 (GRUNTS) 454 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:55,240 Fuck you! 455 00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,720 Fuck! (WHIMPERS) 456 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:14,479 (GUNSHOT) 457 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,559 Jesus Christ! 458 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,439 Oh... 459 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,560 Thanks for scaring her off, dickhead. 460 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,199 Is nobody in this place just a little bit happy to see me? 461 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,279 Happy to see the back of you. 462 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,560 Did it occur to you that I might just want to see my family... 463 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,639 say hello? 464 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,280 Well... 465 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,440 hello. 466 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,640 Hello, Dad. 467 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,560 - Je...! - Gotcha! 468 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,879 There's your 'cock and van' sorted. 469 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,440 It's 'coq au vin'! 470 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,279 And it's with chicken, ya... 471 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,080 ya lunatic! 472 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,160 (SIGHS) 473 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,999 You know, the best thing about people hating you, 474 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,399 once they're done hating you, 475 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,400 they just forget about ya. 476 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,879 I didn't think you liked desserts. 477 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:18,760 Well, I like Diana's. 478 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,640 It tastes like Mum's custard. 479 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,919 When was the last time you used the fire pit? 480 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,120 Oh, buggered if I know. 481 00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:58,039 But if you are doing a cookout, you'd better invite Diana. 482 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,479 She's always on my bloody arse about it. 483 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:01,960 Yeah, good idea. 484 00:24:06,623 --> 00:24:07,740 (PHONE CHIMES) 485 00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:15,185 _ 486 00:24:15,398 --> 00:24:19,104 _ 487 00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:20,931 _ 488 00:24:24,168 --> 00:24:26,240 _ 489 00:24:26,462 --> 00:24:28,169 _ 490 00:24:28,272 --> 00:24:29,947 _ 491 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,719 What's all this? 492 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,519 Said you wanted a cookout. 493 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,759 Who invited you, dickhead? 494 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,160 Clearly not you, ya arsehole. 495 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,959 Okay. 496 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,119 Oh, this is seriously next level. 497 00:24:56,120 --> 00:25:00,919 I mean, Mum used to tell me about the pit and the barbecue, 498 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,000 but, oh, man, the taste... 499 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,559 is good. 500 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,839 Oh, it's not that good. 501 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,079 My rabbit's raw. 502 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,359 I think he's trying to kill me. 503 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:15,639 No, I just didn't burn it to a crisp like you would've done. 504 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,879 I thought cooks were meant to cook. 505 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,440 Oh, I almost forgot. 506 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,040 I believe this is yours. 507 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,160 Thanks. 508 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:34,920 Also, I tried your cakes. 509 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,839 I might have trained in top French kitchens, 510 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,440 but the reason I started cooking was actually my mum. 511 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,360 I think she'd be proud. 512 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:52,239 Yeah, well, I'm, you know, all about that authentic family shit 513 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:56,079 and I just put my own Diana spin on it. 514 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,399 Yeah, you see, that's fantastic. It's a narrative. 515 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:01,080 It's your narrative. 516 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,200 In a way, it's our narrative. 517 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,319 What a wanker. 518 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:08,920 I'm going to bed. 519 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,599 Don't choke on your own vomit. 520 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,000 Don't drown in your own bullshit. 521 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,559 So, is your plan just to stick it out at the stall? 522 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,639 I dunno, I mean, 523 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,279 I probably won't even have that for that much longer 524 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:27,919 because I'm broke 525 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,159 and Mum's on my back about uni 526 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,799 so I don't become you, 527 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,760 so, yeah, I dunno. 528 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,959 Don't ever let anybody tell you what to do with your life. 529 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,079 I didn't. 530 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,360 And don't underestimate yourself. You're more than just some baker. 531 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,159 Okay... 532 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:51,039 Look, if you found someone with clout who could raise your profile, 533 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,639 you could become huge. 534 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:54,959 Yeah, I know. That's why I wanted Nigella's deets... 535 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,079 Well, Nigella's a hack. 536 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:00,040 And she can't make you one of the greatest pastry chefs in the world. 537 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,799 What you need is someone to partner up with, 538 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,239 build something together, 539 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,000 take it to the next level. 540 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:12,520 And that someone is you? 541 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,680 That's what family's for, right? 542 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:25,359 So I would be... your partner? 543 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,239 Or apprentice. 544 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:28,720 Partner. 545 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,919 Sure. 546 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,400 Partner. 547 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,999 Great. We open in a month. 548 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,839 (CHUCKLING) Yeah, we open in a month... 549 00:27:48,958 --> 00:27:50,323 I'm here to support my niece. 550 00:27:50,356 --> 00:27:52,705 Well, I hope your food's easier to swallow than your bullshit. 551 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:59,240 DIANA: How about 'Hot Buns, Hotter Ass'? 552 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,960 What do you mean, "burial ground"? 553 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,560 It's a cliché to fuck me. 554 00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,519 I have a pair, you fuck-knuckle! 555 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,320 They're just all up inside me! 40300

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