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1
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- We
- are the Crystal
2
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- Gems
- we'll always save the day
3
00:00:05,776 --> 00:00:07,848
? and if you think we can't ?
4
00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:10,717
? we'll always find a way ?
5
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- that's why the people
- of this world
6
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,990
- believe in...
- Garnet
7
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- Amethyst
- and Pearl
8
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? And Steven! ?
9
00:00:21,626 --> 00:00:23,319
"Historical Friction"
10
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,339
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ addic7ed.com ~
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- Steven.
- Jamie!
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Safe.
13
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We have fun.
So, you got the goods?
14
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Oh, I've got gooder than the goods.
15
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Bum-da-da-dum-dum
dum-da!
16
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- Wha...? A play!
- I'm holding auditions tonight.
17
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It's a local production
18
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drifting through space,
looking for stars.
19
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If you need a great actor,
20
00:00:54,093 --> 00:00:57,128
you come to the right guy.
21
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- What was that?
- An accent.
22
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- From where?
- I don't know.
23
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Acting.
24
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Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
Where's everyone else?
25
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Uh, you're the only one that showed up.
26
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But, hey, some plays only
have one person in them,
27
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so we're already in 200%
better shape than that.
28
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That sounds like some strange math...
29
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- But I'm ready.
- Great.
30
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Here's a copy of the script.
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"Beach City or bust:
The tale of William Dewey."
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This is my first production,
so it needs to be exciting.
33
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It needs to be classic.
34
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It needs to be fully
funded by Mayor Dewey.
35
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And it is...
because he wrote it.
36
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- What's it about?
- I'm glad you asked.
37
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This is the story of how
Beach City was founded nearly
38
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200 years ago by my
great-great-great-great grandfather,
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William Dewey.
It's a truly important historical tale
40
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with a lot of sentimental and
political importance to me.
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Well, we're just about to get started.
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00:01:56,689 --> 00:01:59,990
Uh, would you like to sit
in on the rehearsal, mayor?
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Don't mind if I do.
Oh, pardon me.
44
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Okay, Steven.
45
00:02:03,729 --> 00:02:05,162
Since you're the only one who showed up,
46
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you'll be playing the
lead role of William Dewey.
47
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Nailed the audition!
48
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And for the other roles,
I guess I'll have to play...
49
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all of them.
50
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The ship is out at sea.
51
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The sun beats down on the
crew while they stand on deck.
52
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Suddenly, the tall,
ruggedly handsome man
53
00:02:23,683 --> 00:02:26,116
standing in front of them speaks...
54
00:02:26,118 --> 00:02:29,253
"Crew, I'm so glad you could
be part of this journey with me
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as we search for a new land
to build a distinguished new city in.
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00:02:33,326 --> 00:02:36,026
"Oh, Captain William Dewey,
you're such a good captain.
57
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Never has a voyage been so super good."
58
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"Good point, first mate buddy."
59
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For fun.
60
00:02:44,437 --> 00:02:47,204
Oh, no. Is that a wild
squall approaching us?
61
00:02:47,206 --> 00:02:51,008
- Surely this can't be good.
- "Be calm, my crew."
62
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I'll just save us with my
heroic, supernatural ability."
63
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And then William Dewey
grows into a 50-Foot giant
64
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and carries the boat safely to shore.
65
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The crew thinks he's
so good at being captain
66
00:03:03,956 --> 00:03:06,957
that they elected him to be
the first mayor of Beach City.
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The end.
68
00:03:08,427 --> 00:03:10,394
Wow, Mayor Dewey.
That was really good.
69
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Yeah.
70
00:03:11,914 --> 00:03:15,987
William Dewey is a really, uh,
good character...
71
00:03:16,022 --> 00:03:19,486
but maybe we could bring out
another side of William Dewey?
72
00:03:19,488 --> 00:03:23,457
- See his struggles?
- The great William Dewey didn't struggle.
73
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He was good at everything
on the first try ...
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just like me when I wrote this play.
75
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Not a single word needs to be changed.
76
00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:35,636
- But maybe ...
- Don't forget who's funding this.
77
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Well, nice hustle, gentlemen.
78
00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:39,506
- Keep it up.
- Aye, aye.
79
00:03:39,941 --> 00:03:43,544
- This is gonna be a disaster.
- What?
80
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It's a terrible story.
William Dewey is totally unbelievable.
81
00:03:47,483 --> 00:03:51,351
- 'Cause he grows 50 feet?
- No, he's got no character.
82
00:03:51,353 --> 00:03:54,121
But the script kept
saying he was really good.
83
00:03:54,123 --> 00:03:57,925
Exactly.
How can a guy have no faults?
84
00:03:57,927 --> 00:04:03,497
To be human is to be flawed.
A real hero must struggle.
85
00:04:03,499 --> 00:04:05,733
That's so beautiful.
86
00:04:05,735 --> 00:04:10,170
And, also, totally not represented
in Mayor Dewey's script.
87
00:04:11,273 --> 00:04:14,975
My first play ...
and probably my last.
88
00:04:16,277 --> 00:04:17,811
Hey, Pearl.
89
00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:21,482
- Pearl?
- Steven, you're back.
90
00:04:21,484 --> 00:04:23,784
Yeah.
Show business is rough.
91
00:04:23,786 --> 00:04:26,754
Is there something I can help you with?
92
00:04:26,756 --> 00:04:28,856
Not unless you can make
William Dewey interesting.
93
00:04:28,858 --> 00:04:32,926
- How do you know William Dewey?
- I'm gonna be him in this play.
94
00:04:32,928 --> 00:04:34,161
But he's totally boring.
95
00:04:34,163 --> 00:04:36,396
He's perfect, and he
never makes mistakes.
96
00:04:36,398 --> 00:04:38,966
Wish I could say the same for myself.
97
00:04:38,968 --> 00:04:42,302
Yeah, but nobody's like that.
Everybody gets stuff wrong.
98
00:04:42,304 --> 00:04:44,938
And then you have to
keep going, and it's hard,
99
00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:47,708
which is why it's great
when you never stop trying.
100
00:04:47,710 --> 00:04:50,644
When did you get so smart?
101
00:04:51,546 --> 00:04:54,014
Hmm.
This isn't just boring.
102
00:04:54,016 --> 00:04:56,183
It's historically inaccurate.
103
00:04:56,185 --> 00:04:58,786
- Who wrote this?
- Mayor Dewey.
104
00:04:58,788 --> 00:05:00,854
He wasn't even there.
105
00:05:00,856 --> 00:05:03,657
- But I was.
- You were there?
106
00:05:03,659 --> 00:05:06,527
- Wait, what really happened?
- Well, for starters,
107
00:05:06,529 --> 00:05:08,829
"ruggedly handsome"
seems rather generous.
108
00:05:08,831 --> 00:05:12,199
Steven...
this is so real!
109
00:05:12,201 --> 00:05:15,235
It's like it was written
by someone who lived it!
110
00:05:15,237 --> 00:05:17,938
It was.
And I don't know if you can tell,
111
00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:20,674
- but I wrote the jokes.
- I can tell.
112
00:05:20,676 --> 00:05:25,345
- It's so gritty, so passionate, so...
- Historically accurate?
113
00:05:25,347 --> 00:05:26,880
And the drama?
114
00:05:26,882 --> 00:05:30,984
- This is the play we should be doing.
- Let's do it then.
115
00:05:30,986 --> 00:05:33,954
- Let's put on this version of the play.
- But how?
116
00:05:33,956 --> 00:05:35,856
We'd need new costumes, new props ...
117
00:05:35,858 --> 00:05:39,626
we have no time. And Mayor
Dewey will have our heads.
118
00:05:39,628 --> 00:05:42,362
But Jamie, you said it yourself ...
119
00:05:42,364 --> 00:05:44,031
"a real hero struggles."
120
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:48,771
By jiminy, you're right.
This show will go on tomorrow night
121
00:05:48,773 --> 00:05:51,273
with you as Captain William Dewey
122
00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:55,578
- and I as the remaining roles.
- All of them?
123
00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,614
All of them.
124
00:05:58,616 --> 00:06:01,851
Boom, ahh, acting.
125
00:06:04,088 --> 00:06:08,127
- Mind if I have a seat?
- Okay...
126
00:06:08,216 --> 00:06:11,405
Oh, you know, I wrote this play.
127
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,720
I hope Mayor Dewey isn't
mad about the changes
128
00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:20,122
Guess we'll have to see.
129
00:06:20,124 --> 00:06:22,992
- Are you nervous?
- Of course.
130
00:06:22,994 --> 00:06:25,461
This could either make
or break my career.
131
00:06:25,463 --> 00:06:28,331
You could lose your
job at the post office?
132
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:31,115
This could either
make or break my hobby.
133
00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:34,070
- Acting.
- Acting.
134
00:06:34,072 --> 00:06:37,173
Boardies and gentleboardies,
135
00:06:37,175 --> 00:06:39,542
tonight, I am thrilled
to present to you...
136
00:06:39,544 --> 00:06:42,121
"The tale of William Dewey."
137
00:06:42,275 --> 00:06:44,446
- Yeah ... Beach City rules.
- Shh.
138
00:06:44,481 --> 00:06:46,879
Oh, captain, my captain,
139
00:06:46,881 --> 00:06:49,048
how long until the soft
lips of our sailing ship
140
00:06:49,050 --> 00:06:51,116
kiss the rugged beard of new lands?
141
00:06:51,118 --> 00:06:53,085
I know we've been
journeying for many months,
142
00:06:53,087 --> 00:06:54,853
but surely we'll run
into something soon.
143
00:06:54,855 --> 00:06:58,257
The ocean can't be that big.
144
00:06:58,259 --> 00:07:00,392
There he is. Hi, Steven!
145
00:07:00,394 --> 00:07:02,695
You're so talented.
146
00:07:02,747 --> 00:07:05,690
Back home they called me
"Dewey the dunce,"
147
00:07:05,736 --> 00:07:08,551
said I couldn't find land
even if I was standing on it.
148
00:07:08,586 --> 00:07:10,186
What the...
149
00:07:10,188 --> 00:07:13,155
And I'm starting to fear
that they were right.
150
00:07:13,190 --> 00:07:15,820
What light through
yon stage left breaks?
151
00:07:15,855 --> 00:07:17,801
Oh, what now?
152
00:07:17,894 --> 00:07:20,696
It is the East, and
we are the Crystal Gems.
153
00:07:20,698 --> 00:07:22,731
What?
This wasn't in the script.
154
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:25,734
This wasn't in the budget, either.
155
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:27,712
Greetings. I am Pearl.
156
00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:30,339
And I come to you
as a messenger of the brilliant,
157
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Rose Quartz.
We ask that you turn your ship around.
158
00:07:34,979 --> 00:07:39,989
The land you are headed for is no
walk in the park for your species.
159
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:43,152
Nonsense. I won't take
orders from the likes of you.
160
00:07:43,154 --> 00:07:45,478
Well, then...
161
00:07:45,588 --> 00:07:49,175
You should turn around
lest you fall into the sea.
162
00:07:49,210 --> 00:07:53,562
And you know, humans
aren't very good swimmers.
163
00:07:53,564 --> 00:07:54,864
They ain't.
164
00:07:54,866 --> 00:08:00,035
I'll just return home
like the failure dunce I am.
165
00:08:00,037 --> 00:08:02,238
Ugh. I can't even turn a sail right.
166
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,646
Why must I always struggle?
167
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:08,814
Wow, Dad, what a loser.
168
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:14,100
Oh, captain, my captain,
we've drifted miles from our course.
169
00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:16,836
These waves are nothing
like I've ever seen before.
170
00:08:16,838 --> 00:08:19,605
Nonsense. This is only a drizzle.
171
00:08:19,607 --> 00:08:23,009
Okay, maybe a light summer storm.
172
00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,177
What's that portside?
173
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:27,513
- Lever.
- Oh.
174
00:08:30,502 --> 00:08:35,204
- Captain, it's got me!
- First mate buddy.
175
00:08:35,206 --> 00:08:38,408
Whatever you do, don't
give up your search.
176
00:08:38,410 --> 00:08:41,811
You're the bravest man
I know, because you try,
177
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:44,981
even though you fail so, so much.
178
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,783
Buddy, noooo!
179
00:08:50,732 --> 00:08:53,166
Oh, buddy, a stale
biscuit to the end.
180
00:08:56,204 --> 00:08:58,838
And now my boat will
sink into the depths.
181
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:03,610
Dewey the disastrous dunce.
What's this?
182
00:09:03,612 --> 00:09:06,312
Holy anchovies.
The quadruple noogie.
183
00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:08,348
A move that's only been
spoken of in legends.
184
00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:11,851
Ah. It heads this way.
185
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,487
Oh, please, goddess of
noogies, don't hurt me.
186
00:09:14,489 --> 00:09:17,624
Whoa. I've made it!
187
00:09:17,626 --> 00:09:20,152
Land!
Sweet, solid land!
188
00:09:20,187 --> 00:09:22,239
Ugh.
189
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,717
Thank you, giant woman.
190
00:09:24,805 --> 00:09:29,008
You may not want to stay,
this land is dangerous.
191
00:09:29,493 --> 00:09:32,355
No, I will stay.
For I am William Dewey,
192
00:09:32,357 --> 00:09:35,691
and I don't give up
in the face of failure.
193
00:09:35,693 --> 00:09:37,159
That's what makes me great.
194
00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:39,819
Very well then.
195
00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:43,793
But I can't promise you
I won't interfere again.
196
00:09:44,215 --> 00:09:46,882
I shall name this new land in honor
197
00:09:46,884 --> 00:09:48,845
of my dead first mate, buddy.
198
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:52,588
- I'm alive.
- Okay, Beach City it is.
199
00:09:53,908 --> 00:09:56,842
What?
200
00:09:59,494 --> 00:10:02,563
Nice to know great grandpa
was a real person with flaws.
201
00:10:02,598 --> 00:10:04,253
- Gutsy move Dad.
- Mayor Dewey!
202
00:10:04,288 --> 00:10:07,548
Mayor Dewey! Mayor ...
203
00:10:07,736 --> 00:10:11,270
- One for you, and one for you...
- Excuse me.
204
00:10:11,272 --> 00:10:13,813
If I could have a
moment with the talent.
205
00:10:13,848 --> 00:10:16,376
- Oh.
- Jamie.
206
00:10:16,378 --> 00:10:20,646
Oh, yeah. Fantastic work.
207
00:10:20,948 --> 00:10:23,149
I loved the message.
"Vote Mayor Dewey."
208
00:10:23,151 --> 00:10:25,418
How about I offer you another role ...
209
00:10:25,420 --> 00:10:28,453
lead director of Beach City
Community Theater.
210
00:10:28,488 --> 00:10:31,609
You could put on more plays ...
as long as the budget allows it.
211
00:10:35,046 --> 00:10:39,815
- Uh, thank you, sir.
- A lot of the credit should go to Pearl.
212
00:10:39,817 --> 00:10:41,450
You could say she was
an "inside source."
213
00:10:41,452 --> 00:10:43,986
I am a Gem of many talents ...
214
00:10:43,988 --> 00:10:46,104
a dedication to fact
is just one of them.
215
00:10:46,242 --> 00:10:49,597
Thank you for preserving my legacy.
216
00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:55,664
- Oh, what's 200 years between friends.
- Well... I must be off then
217
00:10:55,666 --> 00:10:57,910
to bask in the adulation
of my constituents.
218
00:10:58,298 --> 00:11:00,606
You know, I don't remember there being a
219
00:11:00,607 --> 00:11:02,914
campaign slogan at
the end of that story.
220
00:11:02,915 --> 00:11:05,190
Art doesn't always
need a reason, Pearl.
221
00:11:05,204 --> 00:11:07,357
Sometimes it's just gotta
make the audience happy.
222
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:11,357
That's why you always end on a joke.
223
00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:15,228
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224
00:11:15,278 --> 00:11:19,828
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