All language subtitles for First.Blush.2021.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO

Okay.

- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm ready.

All right, let's do it.

You sure you're okay?

Yeah, just...

They brought me cupcakes
at work today.

Oh, God.
Sorry to hear that.

I don't know how they
knew it was my birthday,

they must have looked
on my W-2 or something,

which should be illegal.

Come on,
they're tryin' to be nice.

I just don't want it
to be a big deal.

Carrie and John don't know,
do they?

That it's my birthday?

- No.
- I don't know. I don't know.

- Well...
- Can you not tell her,

'cause she makes a big thing
out of everything.

Right.

I just wanna like

play Catan, and slam some wine,

and order some Thai food,
and that's it.

What?

I don't know
if I should tell you.

She knows?

She knows. Fuck!

Okay, there might be
a few more, um...

people there than you were...
expecting.

It's kind of like a, um...

surprise party for you.

It's a what?

- Dude.
- Oh, God.

What the hell?

I'm sorry,
I thought you'd be excited.

Why would I be...

No, I... No.

Look, I'm sorry.
It was a stupid idea and I am sorry.

Uh, no, no, I...

I've just been panicky
all day.

Nena, I don't want to
stress you out. I just...

I don't know,
I thought it would be fun.

But, baby,
I hate surprise parties.

Can I ask you something?

Has anybody
ever thrown you one?

No.

So, how do you know?

Surprise!

Hi.

Hey, are you sure
everything's okay?

No, it's good.
Thank you, really.

I just get... You know?

I've been planning this like
almost as long as our wedding,

and it was Drew's idea, but you
know, I just kind of rolled with it.

You guys have been so good
to us since we moved here,

and it's such a big moment
in your life!

Like you turned 30!
Like what? It's crazy.

And like I don't even...
I can't even imagine

what turning 30 would be like.

That's such a foreign
concept to me, you know?

Like, your credit score's
probably, like, perfect.

I don't even know. The other day,
I went to put air in my tires,

and I was like, I don't even know how
I'm freaking gonna do this right now,

and I used to call my mom all the
time, but now I can call you,

'cause you're the
real grown-up in my life.

Your life is like so set,
like it's so good,

you're like so set,
it's so great.

And we have chips and dip,
and onion dip,

and we have, uh...
There's broccoli and edamame,

but not cauliflower,
'cause I know you don't like cauliflower,

but, uh, there's hummus,
but I...

Drew didn't know
what kind of hummus you liked,

so I just...
I just picked one, so...

What hummus do you like?

Oh, uh, the Mediterranean
one from TJ's with pine nuts.

Damn it, uh...
we got sun-dried tomato.

Didn't I tell you
to get Mediterranean?

I have no idea.

Uh, it's fine, Carrie.

Really, thank you.

Oh, honey, do you wanna
tell them?

- Tell them what?
- Yeah, tell us what?

Oh, we goin' campin'.

- You two should come.
- Yeah, totally.

Uh, hey, who is that?
Has she hung out with us before?

Oh, that's Olivia. She just started
working at the coffee shop with me.

She looks familiar,
though.

She used to be a model.

In France, bro.

I don't know
what that means.

Hey.

Hey.

- Could I bum one?
- Totally.

Thank you.

It's Nena, right?

Yeah.

Olivia?

- How do you know?
- Carrie, she told me.

She talks
about you a lot at work, too.

My friend Nena this,
my friend Nena that.

- Oh, God.
- No, it's sweet.

Yeah, no, I love Carrie.

I mean, she invited all
these people here

and I don't know half of them, so...

I love these mountains.

They're not bad.

I used to run up them.

You ran up those?

In my prime.

Why'd you stop?

I always said that I would
quit for good when I turned 30.

Hm.

So you're from France?

No.

Oh, Carrie and John,
they said you're a model in France.

I was like kind of sort of
actress in New York,

and yeah, I just fell into it.

But I'm from here originally.

What are you doing now?

I'm workin' at the coffee shop
with Carrie.

Uh, no, I know, but like
what are you doing?

I'm, um, foaming milk and
cream-cheesing bagels.

That was such an LA question, I am so sorry.

- It's okay.
- Fuck.

I guess I'm past my prime, too.

- How old are you?
- Twenty-five.

Yeah, fuck off.

I don't feel bad about asking
my question anymore.

Ooh, come on,
older women are sexy.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

So what now?

Turning 30,
does it... feel different?

Um, I don't know.

Like I guess I hit all the marks
I'm supposed to hit in my 20s.

Married, employed,
I like my apartment,

I'm probably not gonna die poor and
lonely, so yeah, I'm doing great.

Yeah, but I didn't ask
if you were doing great.

I asked if you felt different.

Right. Um...

no, not really.

Can I have another one?

Yeah.

Thank you for throwing
my surprise party, baby.

I'm sorry that
you didn't have a good time.

No, I did.

- I did.
- Really?

Yeah.

I probably wouldn't leave the
house if it wasn't for you.

Okay.

I'm just thinkin', like,

I'm getting too old
to be so scared of new things.

I just wanna say "yes"
to things.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Really, really.

So that's why you said
"yes" to camping this weekend.

I said "yes" to what?

Uh, you seemed a little...
I don't know, distracted maybe.

Oh.

- So you want me to cancel?
- No.

You know what?
No, let's do it.

Really?

Yeah.

I mean...

Fuck it. I can camp.

All right.

Fuck yeah. I mean, I wanna do
new stuff all the time.

Total overhaul.

Oh my God, I am so into
this right now. I love this.

So then, what about the thing
we talked about the other week?

- What thing?
- You know, the thing with the heels?

What thing with the heels?

You don't remember?
Well, I would lie on the floor

and then you would...

- Oh.
- Yeah.

I thought
you were kidding about that.

- Oh, no. Yeah, I was.
- You were what?

- Are you serious?
- I was kidding. I mean, you know?

Do... do you really want me
to do that to you?

I don't want to if you
don't want to.

Uh...

Right now,
I just wanna go to bed.

Okay, baby.

Y ou know,
my boss was surprisingly cool

with me taking a half day.
I should do this more often.

You know what?
Me, too.

Baby, you work from home,
your whole life is a half day.

Sorry.

Yay, you made it!

Hi.

- What's up, man?
- What's up, bro?

- How you doin'?
- Hello.

- How are you doin'?
- Hi, there.

- We made it.
- Yeah!

- How was the drive, bro?
- Not bad, yeah.

Question, um, you guys have
an extra tent?

- Why?
- Olivia forgot to bring one.

- What?
- Hey.

And she is in all green,
like a leaf.

The Joker.

I know, I know.

- But it's a she.
- Poison Ivy.

Ooh, this guy, he's like
my one pass.

- Anderson Cooper, yeah.
- Yeah.

Newspaper publisher,
fictional,

greatest movie of all time.

Rosebud.

- Citizen what?
- Citizen Kane!

- But what's the name?
- Oh. Oh, God.

Oh, shit, bro.

- Indiana Jones?
- No.

- Hey. Hey, hey!
- You guys, you are the most...

- Degrassi.
- Oh.

Degrassi.
Neil deGrasse Tyson.

- What the fuck!
- Drake?

- Yes!
- Yes!

Hey, can I ask you guys
a question?

Um, if we were to get
married here or like in LA, um,

would you be a part
of the wedding party?

Oh, but I thought you were
getting married in Colorado.

Um, no, I just...
I got in this big fight with my parents,

'cause they don't think
that we're like ready

or financially stable
or whatever, you know?

They give like four or five bullshit reasons, you know?

So they're not gonna pay
for it, even though,

they paid for both my
asshole sisters' weddings

and one of them
is already divorced,

but, you know,
I'm the unstable one, so...

I'm sorry that sucks.

Yeah. But it's okay,
'cause we're gonna save up

and we're gonna pay
for it ourselves,

and we're gonna have it here,

and we're gonna have a kick-ass
wedding with our LA family.

Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah.

And we already
picked out a date.

October 22nd.

That's... our wedding
anniversary.

Yeah, we're gonna be like...
like wedding sisters,

you know, and we can, uh, go on like
double dates on the anniversaries.

Isn't that amazing?

That's so fun.

Yeah. I know. Oh my God,
I'm so glad you're excited.

Your dad's a piece of shit.

He's...
he's not a piece of shit.

All right, come on. He's...
he's definitely a piece of shit.

Oh, God.

Hey, damn it, John. All right.
Every time. All right, come on.

Come on, honey, let's go.

- Come on.
- Okay, buddy.

- There you go.
- Drew, why don't you like me?

What are you talkin' about?
You're my guy.

- You're just saying that.
- No.

Drew seems really sweet.

Yeah, he is the best.

He seems like
he really takes care of you.

Hm. You know that
feeling when you're not sure

whether or not your sunglasses
are still on the top of your head?

That's my whole life and...

But I can always count on Drew to
tell me if they're there or not.

Scary having to depend on someone
or have them depend on you.

It is.

Like sometimes
when we're going to sleep,

I just look at him and I think,
"Holy shit, I am with him."

I mean I want to be,
I love him, but it's like,

fuck, this is really happening,

and it's overwhelming, and I feel like
I'm looking down from a tightrope,

and I thought that feeling might
change once we got married,

but it's, uh...

Never mind, uh...

I get anxious
and I don't know why.

It's like it's waiting
for me around the corner

and I just don't know when
it's gonna pop out.

What?

Nothing.

What?

Carrie invited me
on this camping trip

every day at work
for the past week.

When she said you were going,

I just said, "Yeah, sure."

What? Uh, um...

Why?

I don't know.

I think maybe it was when I
talked to you at your birthday,

you just seemed so wound up,

and I guess maybe that
there was...

part of me that wanted
to... unwind you.

I'm really not sure.

Oh my gosh, it's so cold.

We just gotta get some
body heat goin'.

Okay, Nena, I'm dying,

- so you're gonna have to get in here.
- Okay.

This is gonna
sound weird,

but your hair smells
really good.

Well, thank you.

Mom and dad are fighting
again, you guys.

I know,
they've gotten so bad.

Eh, they were always
kinda bad.

Well, I'm sure once they're
married everything will be fine.

I mean,
that's how it works, right?

Oh, absolutely.

We never fight. Not really.

Oh, come on,
seriously never?

Well, Drew won't fight with me.

Well, I'm a lover,
not a fighter. What can I say?

Ooh, la, la.

Thanks for letting me
crash with you guys.

Yeah.

Oh shit, man.

Oh my God.

Wow.

I have to talk to you
about something.

Wanna get Thai food?

Just tell me...

tell me how you're feeling.

I... think...

that I need to know how
you're feeling,

so I can decide
how I'm feeling.

I feel uneasy.

Because she kissed you?

I don't think that's it.

Okay.

Because you... liked it?

Maybe.

And that's makin' you uneasy,
because it's new or...

Because we're married.

I'm only supposed to love you,
that is supposed to be enough.

- But enough what?
- I don't know.

And yeah, yes, I liked it.

I liked it. I have barely
ever even been with a girl,

but I liked it.

You kissed a girl?

- Yeah.
- And you liked it?

I feel shitty, I feel like
a shit person.

Why?

Because...

I don't really feel...
anything.

Yeah, I mean,
I feel bad that you feel bad.

And... and that isn't
weird to you

that you don't feel
betrayed or anything?

I mean, do you want me to?

Goddammit, no!
I just want something.

What then? What?
What do you want?

You want me
to take my shirt off?

You want me throw you against the
wall, piss on the floor?

I just want you to engage
with this emotionally

and not like it's some
fucking puzzle to solve.

I want you to have an opinion
at least.

I... I need you to try.

I need you to tell me,
your wife, how you really feel.

Horny.

Okay, horny.

- Horny.
- Okay.

Look... we're together
forever, right?

We signed the thing,
that's taken care of.

We're solid.

We're solid, right?

I mean of course, yeah,

but what if this...
It changes us?

If something were to happen,

is it worth risking
what we have?

Say that we don't see her again

and us, this...
We just stay exactly the same.

Is that really what you want?

It's almost 9:00.

I didn't shave my pussy.

Do you think I should
shave my pussy?

Pussy's fine, your pussy's
great, your pussy is dynamite.

I washed it,
I just didn't shave it.

Not that anything's
gonna happen.

I just wonder if I feel
more confident if... You know?

Sure, if that's what you want.

Well, should I or shouldn't I?

It's whatever you want,
you know?

You know, though, I have
been noticing in porn

that the shaved look is
kind of goin' out of fashion.

- You would know.
- Groomed for sure,

but the middle-school look
is a little '90s.

Nothing is gonna
happen anyways.

I don't know why
I'm acting like this.

You're right, okay?
We're gonna take it slow

and we're just gonna
hang out. Okay?

- You look really nice.
- Yeah?

Hm. Very handsome.

- You clean up good.
- Thank you, baby.

Are you sure
that you're okay?

Hey, guys.

I think I'm gonna have to
take a lift home at this point.

- What part of town are you in?
- Well, it's like mid-city.

I sleep on a couch in a little
house I share with my brother.

And you get along with him?

It's more like there's just a
lot of personality for one space.

And then, plus,
he has this rotating cast

of boyfriends,
and ex-boyfriends,

and some fuck buddies,
and just drama.

- But at least, you're getting the full LA experience?
- I guess.

I mean we've been together
for what? Six years now?

- Six years.
- Right, just the two of us, you know?

So we never got
that whole bohemian phase

that everyone else
in this town seems to get.

Well, it's overrated.

I mean, most of them are just trust-fund
babies posing as starving artists

and the rest of them are
actually starving.

Which one are you?

Now? Oh, now, I'm starving.

And in Paris?

You guys really wanna
hear about Paris?

Uh, it's very cliche, just...

Yeah, 'cause we meet so many French
models, we're really getting sick of it.

Come on, tell us about it.

A photographer that I knew
from New York,

Lionel, was in Paris
shooting a series for Clinique,

and he asked me to come
check it out,

and I ended up doing some
test shoots for him,

and they loved it,
so he started getting work all over town.

Hm.

And those first few months

were the most romantic period
of my whole life.

Just, like, the city, and the
attitude, the coke, the molly.

See, I warned you this
would be a cliche.

I know this sounds stupid,
because it is just modeling,

but the work was really
gratifying and the drugs helped,

but really it was the fact
that I was in love.

You know, it gave me confidence like
I could try anything with Lionel.

What happened?

Well, I started getting
bigger offers

from companies who wanted
to use their own photographers

and Lionel was...

He was extremely jealous,
and possessive,

which made it
really hard to live with.

And of course, every time
I left the house,

he was convinced that I was
sleeping with the whole city, so...

You know, when things
just start getting messy,

it's like, um,

fights, and the drugs,
I don't know...

Blah, blah.

And then one day, I came home after
doing a shoot with another photographer

and I found him dead
in the bathroom.

Punch line though is that after he
killed himself, my offers tripled.

I mean it was just disgusting.

So um, yeah,
just fucked off back to LA.

I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to make you cry.

Oh, no. I'm sorry we made you
talk about it.

No, it's fine.

That... that point in my life
I felt like

I was being driven
by this really powerful thing.

I just felt like
I was so filled up,

I just felt like
I was bursting,

and every instinct I had
was just so clean,

and so clear, and, um...

I think I'm just really scared that I
won't be able to get that feeling back.

I'm sorry.

Oh, you know what?
This is what it probably is.

She works at a coffee shop, right?
Coffee shops open early.

4:00 in the morning?

I don't know.

Do you think it's
something we did?

Or she felt weird or...

- we took advantage of her?
- No.

- She was upset.
- No, look,

it was a great time, right?
We all had a great time.

Yeah... I guess.

I think I did.

You think?

I don't know.

I don't know.

Well, from where
I was sitting,

it looked like
you were having an exorcism,

to be completely honest
with you.

So why do I feel
like shit right now?

Dopamine drop off,
hangover, Catholic upbringing.

Do you think she just wanted
a one-night stand?

What if we take this experience

and now that we know that we're into
it, we can find other people.

How?

You know, things have changed
a lot since we started dating.

- Kids today, they...
- "Kids today", you say that now?

Yeah, kids today,

they just...
they clickety-clack on their phones

and boom, freaky sex town.

It's honestly, it's like
ordering Papa John's.

Hi, thank you.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Can I get you some coffee?

No, I just wanted to, uh,
come by and say hi.

And make sure
you were doin' okay.

Yeah, that's sweet.
I'm doing good.

- What about you guys?
- Good.

You left before we could...

Oh, hey, Drew! Give me a second,
I have to use the restroom.

Look, I just wanted to say that we
had a really good time last night.

Yeah, I... I did, too.

And we really like
hangin' out with you.

I really like you guys, too.

Nena really likes you,
you know?

I just don't wanna make things
complicated, you know?

For you guys or for me.

I get it. I get it.

I mean, last night was amazing,
I mean, really amazing,

but have you guys
actually thought this through?

I mean, what would be the best
possible outcome if we were to...

Oh, I don't know.

Look, I could come up with

a whole list of
end-game scenarios

for how this is gonna play out,

but I'm really tryin' hard
not to do that

with stuff like this, you know?

All I know is, I've never seen
her like this, ever, you know?

And she would... She'd kill me
if she knew I was here, but...

but I just wanna see her happy.

What about you?

I mean what'd make you happy?

Do you wanna see us again?

Yes, I want to see you again.

Then, tell her so.

God, I am wrecked.

John and I, we were up until like 1:00 a.m.
last night, we were watching The Office.

You know, that Michael Scott,
he gets me every time.

Oh, sorry.

I don't know.

Uh...

Is it weird that I'm starting
to feel bad for normal couples?

Bad how?

Like it's some default setting
they don't know to change

or they secretly
want to, but won't.

Or they cheat or divorce.

Or they bottle it all up,
and let their animosity grow,

and then one day,

they come home,
and shove you in a potato sack...

It's just unrealistic
to expect one person

to fulfill all your needs
for the rest of your life.

Yeah.

You need at least
two people for that.

Well, it's a start.
You know what I mean.

I just think it's unrealistic
to ask anyone to fulfill you.

I think everyone's responsible
for their own happiness.

Those are the two
happiest people up here.

You guys should
totally get a dog.

Uh, we're not allowed
to have pets at the apartment.

There is nothing in that relationship
that needs to be ironed out.

There's no negotiation,
no fighting,

they just... love each other.

I wonder how their sex life is.

I think we got them beat there.

Hey.

You're all perked up.

Yeah, just hiked up Griffith.

I ran up actually.

With your married couple?

Yep.

Rent.

I'm working on it.

Move.

You're working on it?

You work like two shifts
a week at a cafe

and then you spend the rest of your
time laying around my living room

or doin' nature walks
with bored married couples.

Why don't you just ask
mom and dad for the rest?

I mean they pay for every
other fuckin' thing for you.

They helped me out
with a couple of things

as a favor for
letting you crash here.

- Otherwise you'd just show up on their doorstep.
- Jesus.

So like your couple, are they gonna
add you to their cellphone plan

or I mean I don't know,
how does it work when you...

when you tack yourself
onto someone's relationship.

Look, I know that you and Ethan
are having a hard time right now,

but you really don't need to take it out on me.

I mean, I'm sorry
that I'm happy for once.

And I'm happy for you
as long as you realize

that this whole thing
you're doing is idiotic.

Why are you being such a prick?

I mean how's this
any of your business?

- I'm just sayin'.
- You're saying what?

I'm just saying
that they're using you

to work through
their own problems.

I can't tell you how many of my friends
are doing the same fuckin' shit.

"Yeah, let's invite
three people,

four people,
ten, whatever."

It always ends in drama.

Like you would know.

I'm TNT, bitch, I know drama.

Well, I hate to break it to you,
but we don't have any drama.

Okay, yet.

No, honestly, I mean they're
just like really fuckin' chill.

They don't even
fight with each other.

Okay, well...
Now I know they're full of shit.

Oh, what? Come on,
you don't even wanna talk about it?

I'm taking a shower.

Rent.

It's the Mediterranean one.
That's the one you like, right?

Oh, great.

It's hard to keep up
with you sometimes, you know,

like, what you like,
what you don't like?

It's fine, thanks.

You guys are,
uh, popular?

Yeah, it's Olivia,
she's having a roommate drama.

Hm, I'll bet.
Can you imagine living with her?

Okay, I'm sorry I have to.

- Carrie.
- No, I have to.

You don't have to.

You have to what?

I saw you the other day.

You think you saw her.

- I know, John.
- Saw me what?

With Olivia, in the parking
lot, at Silverlight Coffee,

K-I-S-S-I-N-G-ing.

I'm sorry, Drew.

No, um, I'm sorry.

Look, you guys
are our friends.

We should have
told you sooner.

Told us what?

We're dating.

Like how?

We're... um... we're seeing each
other, the three of us.

You guys are fucking Olivia.

John.

Why?

What do you mean?

Well, you're married.
You're supposed to... You're not...

Well, if you guys were having
problems, why didn't you come to us?

We weren't, we aren't.

And even if we were,
what makes you such an authority

on healthy relationships
that we would come to you?

Hey, I think what
we're like all tryin'

to understand here
is who does what,

who does what with who,
and what goes in...

Okay, that's not
what we're asking.

Look, we can talk about
it if you're curious.

- I don't care.
- Well, I kind of do.

I don't want to know.
I don't need to know.

I... I'm just shocked and I...
I didn't think that you were like...

- Like what?
- Like twisted.

- Twisted?
- Mm.

Okay, no, you're not twisted.

At least, we don't have to
fight every time we wanna fuck.

- Nena.
- No, that's why I don't wanna say anything.

Who do you think you are?

Well, we're getting
married, and it's scary,

and we look up to you guys
as like an example,

and then it turns out
you've just been like

sleeping with someone this entire time.
I just feel betrayed.

You know, um, I think
we're gonna take off.

Our girlfriend is coming over

and we're gonna order pad thai.

Wait, guys.

Guys, Nena, wait.

We just don't wanna see you
guys throw away what you have.

We've never been happier.

Uh...

I was gonna eat that.

Can we come out yet?

No!

I have to pee.

That's not true.

It's kind of fun to be
kept waiting, isn't it?

This is annoying as fuck.

Are we...
doing the right thing?

Do not let Carrie
get into your head.

I don't give a shit
what she thinks.

Who does she think
she is, seriously?

Look, she's insecure,
that's all.

Can you just hate her
with me for a second?

Do you want me
to kill her?

- Yes.
- How?

I will do it for you.

Yeah, she can't move in
with us.

Okay, I didn't even know that
that was on the table, so...

I mean she can crash here
a couple of nights,

but I don't think we're ready
for more than that.

Do you?

I'm... not ready if you're not
ready, or it's whatever you want.

Hm.

Okay, kids.

Oh, my God.
Look at this.

I thought
I'd be romantic.

Oh, my God,
look at all this stuff.

- I love it.
- Good?

Yeah, it looks great.

- Yeah.
- You did all this?

With my bare hands. Just for you.
You see that now.

Perfect.

Well...

to you guys.

Thank you for getting me
out of the house.

No, fuck that.

- To us.
- To us.

Us.

We should probably
invest in a third stool.

Are you awake?

Yeah.

What will
you do for rent?

Try to pick up more shifts?

I don't know.

My brother's just nuts
and he makes it very clear

that it's his place
and not mine.

I need to get the fuck
out of there,

but it still doesn't solve
my rent problem,

'cause, um...

I'm thinking about
quitting the coffee shop.

Hm.

Because of Carrie?

No, I... I don't
give a shit about that.

It actually is something to do
with what you were saying.

I should just be
doing something.

So I've been thinking about
getting back into acting.

Really?

That's great.

I just loved it, you know?

I just had so much in me
that I just wanted to get out.

And, uh...

and then, for a while,
I just had nothing.

But I still have that voice
in the back of my head

that's just telling me,
"Just go for it."

- Hm.
- I don't know.

It's hard for me to trust it,
because of what happened last time.

I'm never sure of anything.

I'm still not sure about this.

I wasn't even sure
when I married Drew.

Maybe Carrie is right,
maybe I am twisted.

You know, maybe it's not
about being sure or unsure.

Maybe it's just
about being brave.

You could stay with us
for a while if you wanted to.

I want you to.

Morning.

Hey, I hope you're
okay with this.

It was just driving me nuts
seeing you live out of bags.

I just want you
to feel at home.

I do.

Shit.

What?

I just didn't get that short.

The USC thing?

I'm not even qualified enough to
be murdered in a student film.

Oh, come on.

But if I can't even book
something that doesn't pay,

how am I ever gonna book
something that does?

You'll crack it,
don't worry.

I guess I just
feel like a mooch.

Would you stop?
We really don't mind.

So, I have to go
to work in a bit.

What are you guys up to today?

Cool, cool.

Cool.

All these roles
are just such garbage.

Just like rape victims
seeking revenge

or quirky love interest
for a whiny white guy.

It's like manic pixie
dream girl shit.

You know, I once did
web development

for a trans porn site called
"manic pixie dick girls"?

You know, sometimes
when we're hooking up,

you start acting like
one of those porn guys?

A porn guy?

Mm-hm.

There are certain things
that you say

and there is a way
that your voice gets...

It seems a bit affected,
I don't know.

Affected?

All right.

- Okay.
- No, no, it's hot.

Do not get me wrong.

It's just sometimes
it seems like you're acting

or like putting on
a performance.

Well, in all fairness,
sex sort of is like a performance.

I mean you're acting,
you're reacting.

Improvising.

Okay, but like
even going with that,

any good performance
reveals some kind of truth.

It's like with Nena, you know?

How she feels like she has to
overthink every little thing.

Until and unless
she's in the bedroom.

Yes, exactly.

And then a switch gets flipped,

and she's this wild
pleasure-seeking adventurer

that she really is.

She just likes to be taken,
you know,

and that's revealing.

Do you know that sometimes
when we're having...

When we're fucking.

I, uh, act like I'm in control,

because I know that that's
what she wants me to do.

You know, and it's fun,
but I don't know,

it's like... it's not something
that comes naturally to me.

No, I... I get that.

You know,
that's one of the reasons

with you why it's so good,
because you know, you are...

How do I put this...
More, um...

Aggressive.

Aggressive, you know?

And she loves that.

And I love that.

I don't know, I think
this whole aggressive thing

is actually new for me.

At least, all those like
years of modeling and acting,

just being told
what to do all the time,

so I like being bossy
when I get the chance.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

You know, it's funny
you should say that,

because... there is this, uh...

this thing...

that I've wanted
to try for a while.

Okay.

Are you ready, boy?

Yes, step on me, please.

Did you just tell me
what to do?

No, I was just asking.

Shut the fuck up.

Open your mouth.

Which one?

What?

You want me to shut up or
you want me to open my mouth.

Ow!

I'm so sorry, are you okay?

No, I'm good.
I'm okay. I'm...

No, you're not.

You're in a lot of trouble,
do you understand me?

Mm-hm.

- Hey, baby.
- Hi.

Right where I left you.

More or less.

Hey!

What happened here?

Oh, you know, just...

So how was your day?

All right.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

So are you mad or...

I'm not mad.

I shouldn't even be surprised.

I'm at work all day and yeah,
what else would you guys do?

We haven't even talked about
whether we can

sleep with each other
if we're not all here.

I assumed you guys
already had.

Yeah, well, we haven't.

Well, I thought to text you
and ask you if it was okay,

but then I thought
that would be weird, so...

I honestly thought you
guys had talked about this.

I thought we were all
on the same page.

I guess we're not.

I have a question.

Since we've been
seeing each other,

have you guys been sleeping
with anyone else?

I haven't.

No, of course not.

But if I wanted to...

Do you want to?

No, there's...
I mean there's no one in particular,

but if you think about it,
it's not really equal.

How?

So we're all in
this relationship,

but you two are still
in your own relationship.

Like if I wasn't here,

would you two
still sleep together?

Well... yeah.

Not that we have.

What is that supposed to mean?

We just haven't in a while.

I'm working all day.

You guys get to hang out,
and go to brunch,

and do weird sex shit,
and I'm stuck at work. That's not fair.

Okay, so when it's somethin' I wanna
do, suddenly it's weird.

It is weird.
I'm sorry, Drew, it is fucking weird.

That is so unfair.

Do you not understand
how unfair that is?

Look, if you guys need to talk,
I can just step out.

Yeah, but that's...
No, because that's unfair, too,

because we all agreed to this,
you live here now,

you're a part of this,
and you shouldn't have to leave.

But maybe me staying
with you guys, it's just...

Maybe you're not ready
for that, you know?

Maybe this is just a mistake.

No, I want you here,
just the idea of you two without me...

You two were the ones that wanted this
whole free-flowing California shit.

I do want it to be free,

I don't wanna hold
either of you back,

but we are married.

There are some things
that are just ours

and we should respect that.

Okay, like what?

Like...

I don't want the two of you
together without me.

I'm sorry, I just don't.

Okay.

And I know
that's not equal

and it puts you
in a weird position,

so if you wanna sleep
with other people, then...

I guess... you know.

Yeah, all right.

Yeah, I got you.

Where are you going?

Just going out
for a bit.

But where, though?

I don't know,
I'm just going out. Out.

Out.

If you're asking me to move back
in, the answer's "no".

I'm not.

Like I'm sorry
things aren't working out

with your married couple,
but you know, I need my space.

I'm not, it's fine.

Ethan and I are...
are talking again.

That's great.
Feeling very optimistic for you both.

Thank you. Yeah.

You know,
if he stops being an idiot,

it might actually
work out this time.

Why is he an idiot, again?

Oh, he just like won't admit
that he needs me, you know?

Fucked up as I am,
I'm what he wants.

Why's that? You're just hot shit.

Oh, fuck off.

- Do you wanna know why though, honestly?
- Mm-hm.

Because I...
I learned it from you.

You get them all riled up,
you get them on the hook,

and then you push 'em away.

What do you mean?

Well, like I didn't
speak to him for like...

like a month
or whatever, right?

That made him realize
how badly he needed me.

- Yeah, but...
- Like, I'm a mess.

Look at me, you know?
And he wants me.

He's desperate
to get back with me.

And I don't even think he cares if I
fuck around on him or whatever, you know?

He's always just gonna
keep coming back to me.

I don't do that, though.

Yeah, you do.

You've been doing that
since middle school.

You find someone,
pull 'em in, to the point

that they're like
obsessed with you,

and then you just pull away.

- That's bullshit.
- You want another beer?

She's been gone a while.

Say something.

Like what?

Something.

Give me something.

I am not going
to fight with you.

I'm not asking for a fight.

Obviously, you need
somebody to fight with,

and it's not going to be me.

You know, not saying anything
can be just as aggressive

as pissing in someone's face?

You know that, right?

But you like this, don't you?

Being treated like shit?

This is what you want, right?

To be walked all over...

Nena.

Fuck me.
Who am I to say "no", you know.

Fuck me for loving you
too much, for...

for not wanting
to see you that way,

for not wanting to...
to degrade you.

- Oh, please.
- What did she do?

What? Did she step on you?
Did she call you names?

Did she call you a "bitch"?

Yes.

And... and that's fun for you, to be
treated like dirt, to be treated like shit?

Actually, it was fun.
It was really fun.

It was fuckin' amazing,
if you really wanna know.

Well... well, fuck it,
I can do that,

- if that's what you want.
- No.

No, no, no, I...
I can do that.

I can treat you like shit.

I don't want you to.

Why... why her and not me?

Why?

Because Olivia doesn't
actually see me that way.

All right.

Hey.

Hey.

Where have you been?

I have been out.

Did you have fun?

What?

With whoever you were out with,
what'd you guys do?

What are you doing?

I'm not doing anything.
What are you doing?

I'm going to drink
some water and go to bed.

Fine.

But it was fun, though?

What was... What fun?
Have you seen my water bottle?

The friend you saw,
who I don't know.

Is it a him or her?

Did you fuck them, him or her?

That's a rude question.

It's fine, if you did. I just...
I have the right to know.

Do you?

Yes, actually I do.
We're dating, you're living here.

Yeah, under your roof, yeah.

No, I hear you
loud and fucking clear.

Where... where is
my water bottle?

Why do you keep moving
all of my shit?

It's in the cabinet
across from the refrigerator.

Where?

Behind the plastic cups.

Well, it's not
fuckin' here, so...

Just tell me,
did you do it or not?

Well, if I did,
that would be all right

according to your
little flow chart, right?

My flowchart?

Well, you get to fuck Drew,
I get to fuck you guys together,

then I get to fuck
whoever I want.

I mean that was the deal,
right, fair and equal?

I meant that abstractly.

I'm not yours
and you're not mine,

you made that very clear.

That's not what I said.

It doesn't matter.

You did it, didn't you?

- You did it. Who with even?
- Nena.

Just tell me,
did you do it or not?

Why are you just
so fuckin' insecure?

- I'm insecure?
- Yes.

That's why you have to manage
and control everyone around you.

- It's because you're terrified.
- I'm terrified?

Yes.

At least, I'm not the one
who's so afraid of getting hurt

that I go after someone
who's already married.

What?

Makes sense why you'd want me,
so you can only go so deep,

so you only have to love
and be loved so much,

so... so you always have
just one foot on the shore.

Is this the shit that goes
through your head?

And because I already
have someone,

you can just leave
whenever you want guilt-free,

and you don't have to
commit to anyone or anything.

Okay, I'm not the one with
the weird commitment issues.

You telling me shit like

you don't know if marrying Drew
was the right decision?

How am I supposed to take that?

You know, that's not what I meant.

I was saying despite how uncertain I
am, I still move forward.

You do that because
the alternatives terrify you.

You were terrified
of being alone

and that's why
you married Drew

but you still feel alone
when you're with him,

and that's why you wanted
me here to begin with.

That is not true.

You know, at least,
I'm not afraid of getting hurt.

You know, it's good to hurt.

It's good to have
something to hurt about.

And you need to be brave
in order to hurt.

You don't know my hurt.

You don't know what
it's like to take a step

and then suddenly the ground just
crumbles beneath you for no reason.

You don't know
how terrifying it is

to walk through life like that

so you don't get to talk
to me about being brave.

I can't do this.

What are you doing?

You know what I'm doing.

I'm sorry.

Hey.

Hey!

Oh, hey.

We haven't seen you
in like forever!

Yeah, I know.
I've just been, um...

Yeah, we heard. I'm sorry.

Heard what?

Oh, well, Olivia came
back to the cafe

and she told me what happened.

Oh.

And uh, she's uh,
coming to the wedding, too,

just FYI, if that's cool.

Okay.

Sorry, when is that, again?

Uh, this weekend.

Oh, shit.
Sorry, you guys.

I mean you are coming, right,

'cause I know you didn't
send back the RSVP

but you have to come.

Of course, I'll...
I'll be there.

- Cool.
- Um, oh!

Do you wanna tell her
about the thing?

Tell her about what thing?

- Yeah, what thing?
- The thing!

Oh, um, my boss
hooked me up with some molly

and it's supposed
to be pretty good.

Mm-hm, we're gonna do it
like a pre-wedding celebration

and you guys should come over.

I'll ask Drew.

Drew?

Can you come out and talk to me
like a grown-up, please?

No.

How much longer with this?

I don't know.

I like it in here.

It's in the middle
of the living room.

Is it?

John and Carrie
wanna hang out tonight.

- You wanna go?
- No.

They say they have molly,
it could be fun.

Take our minds off all this.

It's a really terrible idea.

Can we at least
try to go back to normal?

This whole thing
has me so confused

and I just want to go back
to where we were.

Do you know what
the definition of insanity is?

Setting up a tent in
the middle of the living room?

We can't go back...

and we can't go forward,

because you don't know
where you wanna go.

Because I don't know?

Because it's always
on me, always.

Because you're a control freak
and that's fine with me.

I love that. I just wish
that being in control

made you happier, you know?

I want you to be happy.
Your happiness is my happiness

and I haven't
been happy lately.

it's before Olivia,

before we were married even.

So that's on me too, right?

I'm making you unhappy.

I fucking live to serve you.

I do, and I would
worship at your feet

if you, you know,
would let me.

- Drew, stop.
- No, this is...

Listen, this is who I am.

This is who the fuck I am.

I like being told what to do,

and I like being
a support beam,

and I just wanted you
to be comfortable with that.

You know? And I know...

Look, I know you don't love me

- as much as I love you.
- Drew.

And I guess a part of me
always knew

that you didn't really
wanna marry me,

but I figured...

like, in time you would,
you know,

be as committed to me
as I am to you.

Or at least be comfortable
with who we are.

I am comfortable.

You are the only person
I'm comfortable with.

You take me for granted...

and that's not the same thing.

I let you have control,

because I trust you,

but Nena, you are flyin' us
into a fuckin' mountain.

You're leaving, aren't you?

I think maybe you need
to be alone right now.

This is such horseshit.

- Do not tell me what I need!
- Fine.

- You wanna leave, say it.
- I don't want any of this.

Say it, just fuckin' say it.

You're not bein' a very good
friend to yourself right now.

You're right.

I am not being
a good friend to myself.

I have one friend left
and he is leaving

but he won't fucking admit it.

I'm leaving.

Hey, I'm Drew.

- Ethan. Hey.
- Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

And this is my brother Benny,
he's really nice.

I get it, I guess.

Welcome home.

Mm.

I don't know what the fuck
I was thinking.

Hey. Hey, Nena Bonena.

Coffina. Fee-fi-fo finna-bina.

Neen, chickadee, chickadee,

you don't have nothing
to worry about, okay?

Okay, girlfriend,
I just want you to know

that you are perfect
and wonderful,

and you are so sweet,
and you're special.

You're my special Barbie doll,
and you should be proud

and I'm...
'cause I'm proud of you,

and I love you... so much.

I'm really glad
you guys ran into me.

I missed you so much.

Of course.

You know, Nena,
I feel really bad

about what happened last time.

I was being
a judgmental biatch.

I'm really, really sorry.

You're my friends
and you were right.

We were being naive
and so fucking stupid,

I can't believe it now!

No! You know, I actually thought
you were being really brave.

- Yeah.
- 'Cause you know

we've always kind of
looked up to you guys.

Well, I don't know
if we're exactly role models.

So you don't have to go,
like, too into it,

but what exactly happened?

Mm...

sometimes things get messy.

You know, when you have
two people,

you can, like,
chart their bullshit

on a straight line

but then you add a third,

and it, like,
triangulates things

and makes a map of problems.

I just miss them.
I fucking miss them right now.

But what was it like?

What are you...
I just told you.

No.

That's not what
we were uh...

Oh. What...

what he means is,
like, what about the...

Like the sex?

The sex.

Oh, like, just the sex?

- The sex.
- Yeah, the sex.

Fun.

Like really, really fun.

Pure pleasure, pure fun,
and discovery,

- no judgment.
- Mm-hm.

And then afterwards,
you have to grapple with,

"What was that?"

And it depends on the person.

I have my whatever issues.

Oh, but it was great.

That sounds... great.

- Like really great.
- Mm.

Mm, oh.

Oh, no. Nope.

Nope, nope, nope, no, no, no.

Wait, really?

Carrie, you guys...

What the fuck?

But I thought you wanted to.

Why would you...

Oh my God, I gotta go.

Wait, no, no, I'm sorry,
I totally misunderstood.

I thought you would be into it.

Why? Because I'm automatically
down for three ways?

I'm the three-way girl now?

No, no, no, Nena,
no, we're sorry.

We're just... we...
we really just fucked up.

Did you guys plan this?

No!

Okay, maybe it was like
in the back of our minds,

but I don't... I don't know.

I don't know what
I was thinking. It's just...

You know, we're getting married
in like two days

and it's just
such a massive leap.

And?

Yeah, and we know each other
so well, but we don't know...

Like how do you know
how well you know someone

and how much...
How deep your love goes

if you don't push yourself into
those scary places, you know?

Yeah, all that stuff.

We need to know
and we want to do it

with someone who we can trust,
do you know what I mean?

You know,
anybody can get married.

You don't have to take
a test or anything.

You're not doing anything
special or original,

including whatever this was.

If you don't trust each other,
don't fucking do it.

Don't do any of it.

This is not gonna
solve anything.

If you've got some gap
you're trying to fill,

this isn't gonna do it.

Wait, you're still coming
to the wedding, right?

Are you awake?

Yeah.

I can't sleep.

Is it the couch?

I don't know what
I'm doin' here.

Do you wanna go back?

Do you know what
she said to me this morning?

Hm.

She said, "Can we just
go back to normal?"

Back to normal.

I mean we can't just...
go back.

'Cause there's more than
one way to go back.

You can... find someone new,
you know...

a different city
or a different country.

Convince yourself that
they are different,

and that you're different,

and this time
will be different.

You just end up
doing the same shit

that you've always done.

You think that's what we did?

I don't know.

I mean, it felt right
with both of you.

You know, it was new,
it wasn't familiar,

it was innocent, weirdly.

You think it would
ever work out?

Just me and you?

I don't know.

What do you think?

I wish I could say "yes".

It was good there
for a while, wasn't it?

Yeah. For a while there it was.

Should we go soon?

Yeah, probably.

So is your wife gonna be there?

Um, probably not, no.

You don't think so?

No, I mean I gotta drag her out
of the house to do anything.

You know, I had to drag her
to our wedding, so,

and I'm not exaggerating
about that.

No, I believe you.

That's fucked up.

You look handsome
when you dress up.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

That's what
Nena's always saying.

In this case,
she's tellin' the truth.

Thanks, man.

Nena always tells the truth,

she just backtracks
on everything she says.

She doesn't trust herself.

Is there any more coffee?

Shit.

You want me
to make some more, babe?

Oh, no, it's okay,
I'll just have some of yours.

You know what your problem is?

No, but I'd absolutely
love for you to tell us.

Great.

All you guys been doing
is talking shit

about how insecure whatever
this chick is, right?

Like how she can't
decide what she wants,

but how are you guys
any different?

You're just hiding here,

because you don't know
what you want either.

I just want
a normal relationship.

No, you don't,

otherwise you would have one.

Well, that might be
oversimplifyin' things.

Yeah.

Or no, I don't think so.

What's a normal
relationship anyway?

I love weddings.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I mean I hate marriages,
but I actually love weddings.

Attracts.

- Oh fuck!
- What's wrong?

I just realized today is
Nena and I's anniversary.

Oh, my God.

What are you gonna do
when she shows up?

I don't know!

I mean there's
a lot to consider.

Oh, you said you weren't
gonna do that

when it comes to
stuff like this, so...

- What does your gut say?
- Okay, fine.

The one thing that
I can come up with,

and I guess I've been thinking
about this for a while now...

But I'm pretty sure...

No, fuck that,
I'm fuckin' sure.

Uh-huh.

I wanna get a dog.

I'm gettin' a dog.

- Okay.
- I'm gettin' a dog.

- That is a good start.
- Okay.

Are we late?

Uh, I don't know.
Are we early?

What is goin' on?

Where is John?

Is... is that John?

- Hey, man.
- Hey.

Wedding's off, bro.

- What? Why?
- Where is Carrie?

She won't come
out of the car and...

I think I really fucked up.

You ruined everything.

How's that?

We never cheated on each other
or anything, and...

we have this perfect record,
and it means nothing,

and you're right,

getting married
isn't gonna fix anything,

we made this huge mistake,
and we can't take it back,

and now everything's ruined.

What mistake?

John thinks
I'm in love with you.

Like, after the other night,

all this, like, ugliness
just came pouring out of him.

Like I've never seen before.

Like jealousy and anger.

Are you?

Am I what?

In love with me?

I think I more just wanna,
like, be you.

I, um...

I can't even begin to explain
how misguided that is.

But you're interesting.

John and me were boring,
we have dumb fights

and then we make up,
and then we have sex,

and then we get takeout,
and we're boring,

like I'm boring.

Every relationship
is boring sometimes.

There's nothing
wrong with boring

as long as it's what you want.

I don't know what
I want anymore.

Do you love him?

I do. I really, really do,

but... but I just...
I don't know, like,

am I gonna love him forever?

Is he gonna love me forever?

I just don't know.

So?

I'm sorry about
the other night.

I don't know what
I was thinking.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I heard you guys had
some fun the other night.

Fun isn't how I'd describe
this whole thing.

Wait, look. Look.

Well, I guess the wedding's back on.

Or not.

You think John and
Carrie will be all right?

Uh, maybe, maybe not.

They definitely weren't
ready today.

Well, we weren't ready when
we got married either, so...

I wasn't sure
about marrying you.

I am sure about
being married to you.

Why?

Why now?

Because you spent
a few days alone?

Because...

It's true.
I'm afraid of being alone.

I'm afraid of a lot of things.

But that's not why
I wanna be with you...

or you.

I have a lot of things
that are broken in me

and you can't fix them.

I won't ask you to,
either of you.

You have to believe
that I want to get better,

I wanna feel better,

I don't wanna walk through
life in this constant panic.

I've said that a lot.

I want to change,
but it's fucking hard,

and I'm not asking you
to fix me.

I'm realizing I...
I probably need, like,

legit professional help
for that.

I'm only asking you to love me.

I'm only asking for your
patience while I work it out.

Probably a lot of patience,

probably a lot more patience
than I have a right to ask for.

But that's what I'm asking for.

I... I don't wanna wait for...
for this to be perfect

or for me to be perfect,
I want you now.

But not because
I need you to fit, like,

perfect pieces inside me,

but because you're you.

And you're you.

And I want you.

I want us.

I want us, too.

God help me.

It's what I want.

How about... Thai food?

You guys want that?

Yeah.