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1
00:01:15,756 --> 00:01:18,850
Hey! Put 'im in here with me!
Ha, ha!
2
00:01:26,867 --> 00:01:30,633
Who are you?
Uh, Harry Ballentine of-
3
00:01:30,704 --> 00:01:32,865
Of, um- of Brack and Worth, sir.
4
00:01:32,939 --> 00:01:36,602
Uh, my card. Uh, excuse me.
My name's written in on the back there.
5
00:01:36,676 --> 00:01:38,610
But I called Worth.
6
00:01:38,678 --> 00:01:42,978
Last year, I did a simple little will,
and I got Worth.
7
00:01:43,049 --> 00:01:46,541
And now I kill, and I get somebody
who hasn't got all their teeth yet?
8
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:50,021
Well, with all due respect,
Mr. Bernstein,
9
00:01:50,090 --> 00:01:54,356
since you admitted to killing three
lawyers on three separate occasions,
10
00:01:54,428 --> 00:01:56,521
Mr. Worth thought it would
best behoove him...
11
00:01:56,596 --> 00:01:59,690
to send someone
the firm wouldn't mind losing.
12
00:01:59,766 --> 00:02:02,701
Oy!
Oh, not that I'm not enthused.
13
00:02:02,769 --> 00:02:05,363
This is a fascinating
first case to have.
14
00:02:05,439 --> 00:02:07,066
"Oy" again.
15
00:02:07,140 --> 00:02:10,041
Uh, so, now,
16
00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:15,138
uh, you're supposed to tell me what you,
the accused, think is everything...
17
00:02:15,215 --> 00:02:19,117
regarding the alleged incident or,
in this case, incidents...
18
00:02:19,186 --> 00:02:22,678
which, uh, you, the accused,
have been accused of,
19
00:02:22,756 --> 00:02:24,781
uh, vis-à-vis the crime.
20
00:02:24,858 --> 00:02:29,158
What? I may have had to kill
the other three lawyers,
21
00:02:29,229 --> 00:02:31,561
but at least I understood them.
22
00:02:31,631 --> 00:02:34,862
Just tell me, in your own words,
what happened.
23
00:02:34,935 --> 00:02:39,031
That's the whole problem.
I can't remember.
24
00:02:39,105 --> 00:02:41,630
One day, life was wonderful.
25
00:02:41,708 --> 00:02:44,768
My kids were annoying.
My wife made me sick.
26
00:02:44,845 --> 00:02:46,779
Life was great.
27
00:02:46,847 --> 00:02:49,338
We were a nice, close family.
28
00:02:49,416 --> 00:02:53,250
See? This was taken a week ago.
29
00:02:55,021 --> 00:02:58,286
Did you say a week ago?
Yeah, well, a week and a day.
30
00:02:58,358 --> 00:03:01,088
I shot that Tuesday,
the day I got the hairpiece.
31
00:03:01,161 --> 00:03:04,562
- Oh.
- See? Everybody's happy.
32
00:03:04,631 --> 00:03:07,361
Nobody's killing anybody.
33
00:03:07,434 --> 00:03:09,368
I looked 10 years younger.
34
00:03:09,436 --> 00:03:13,338
And then?
I don't know.
35
00:03:13,406 --> 00:03:17,502
The whole week is like
a big yellow blur.
36
00:03:17,577 --> 00:03:21,843
It's like I went to bed
an accountant,
37
00:03:21,915 --> 00:03:24,110
and I woke up a Zodiac Killer.
38
00:03:24,184 --> 00:03:28,644
I was always
a very quiet person-
39
00:03:28,722 --> 00:03:30,952
more like a wimp.
40
00:03:31,024 --> 00:03:34,790
I broke my leg
playing gin rummy.
41
00:03:34,861 --> 00:03:37,694
You know something,
Mr. Murray Bernstein?
42
00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:42,565
I believe you,
and I'm going to defend you-
43
00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:45,799
unfortunately for you-
to the best of my ability!
44
00:03:45,872 --> 00:03:49,273
I'm going to work night and day,
day and night for you,
45
00:03:49,342 --> 00:03:54,177
even after my mother says, "Harry, turn off
the lights. You're killing your father."
46
00:03:54,247 --> 00:03:56,909
Even after that, Mr. Bernstein.
47
00:03:56,983 --> 00:03:59,110
What number "Oy"
are we up to?
48
00:03:59,185 --> 00:04:01,779
Three.
49
00:04:01,855 --> 00:04:05,291
Read back to me what
Murray Bernstein's wife said.
50
00:04:05,358 --> 00:04:08,589
First, she confirms
that her husband was a wimp.
51
00:04:09,829 --> 00:04:12,889
Then she says, and I quote,
52
00:04:14,234 --> 00:04:18,364
"Murray was a good man until he bought
that hairpiece from Hair & Now.
53
00:04:18,438 --> 00:04:20,372
"Then he changed.
54
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:24,001
"He came home from work early
to look in the mirror.
55
00:04:24,077 --> 00:04:28,377
Sex was great.
That's when I knew something was wrong."
56
00:04:31,418 --> 00:04:34,785
Was he on medication?
Was he having trouble with his bowels?
57
00:04:35,956 --> 00:04:39,323
No. He's got the bowels of an ox.
58
00:04:45,799 --> 00:04:47,790
You look tired.
59
00:04:47,867 --> 00:04:50,165
You should go home
and get some sleep.
60
00:04:50,236 --> 00:04:52,170
No.
61
00:04:52,238 --> 00:04:54,672
I can't sleep while there's
injustice in the world.
62
00:04:54,741 --> 00:04:56,834
You go home, Beth.
63
00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:58,901
You get some sleep.
64
00:05:12,392 --> 00:05:14,417
Mr. Ballentine.
65
00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:21,399
Here we are, the only ones
in the whole building, and...
66
00:05:21,468 --> 00:05:25,131
we just spent the whole night
together.
67
00:05:26,239 --> 00:05:30,403
Do you ever think of me...
as a woman?
68
00:05:33,413 --> 00:05:35,381
I can't think of you as a woman...
69
00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:39,179
until every criminal behind bars
is a woman.
70
00:05:49,696 --> 00:05:52,859
"Until every criminal behind bars
is a woman."
71
00:06:25,832 --> 00:06:29,097
That's terrible.
72
00:06:29,169 --> 00:06:34,471
"Police Chief Martin Hansen says that, 'If these
murderers of the guardians of justice aren't stopped,
73
00:06:34,541 --> 00:06:36,873
there will be hell to pay."'
74
00:06:39,412 --> 00:06:42,904
Dead lawyers.
Why dead lawyers?
75
00:06:44,217 --> 00:06:46,845
Oh, he's right.
There will be hell to pay.
76
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:51,482
Murray Bernstein, Floyd King-
bald men.
77
00:06:52,992 --> 00:06:55,222
Bald men.
78
00:06:55,295 --> 00:06:57,286
There's gonna be hell to pay.
79
00:06:59,532 --> 00:07:01,659
Hell to pay.
80
00:07:01,735 --> 00:07:03,669
Hell toupee!
81
00:07:03,737 --> 00:07:06,433
It's a psychopathic hairpiece!
82
00:07:06,506 --> 00:07:09,031
Ms. Hollander, what if I told you
I was a genius?
83
00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:12,708
I'm in awe.
84
00:07:12,779 --> 00:07:17,216
I got up. I got dressed.
I put on my hair.
85
00:07:17,283 --> 00:07:19,274
I had my puffed wheat-
Right. You put on your hair.
86
00:07:19,352 --> 00:07:21,286
Tell me about your hair, Floyd.
87
00:07:21,354 --> 00:07:25,154
Well, one day,
I was walkin' past Hair & Now,
88
00:07:25,225 --> 00:07:29,025
and, in the window, there was
this special, special hairpiece.
89
00:07:29,095 --> 00:07:31,757
And I- I just fell in love.
90
00:07:33,466 --> 00:07:38,369
Actually, it was my girlfriend, Charlene.
She made me buy it.
91
00:07:38,438 --> 00:07:42,067
She said it looked just like
R.J. Wagner's hair.
92
00:07:42,142 --> 00:07:44,736
Oh, you should've seen me in it,
Mr. Ballentine.
93
00:07:44,811 --> 00:07:49,373
Why, I almost looked...
not ugly.
94
00:07:49,449 --> 00:07:51,440
Where's this hairpiece now, Floyd?
95
00:07:51,518 --> 00:07:53,486
Well, that's the crazy thing.
96
00:07:53,553 --> 00:07:55,885
Once I got caught,
it wouldn't stay on.
97
00:07:55,955 --> 00:07:59,254
It looked perfect
when I took Charlene to the pizzeria,
98
00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:02,089
and it was perfect
when I killed those lawyers.
99
00:08:02,162 --> 00:08:04,153
But once the cops
got ahold of me, why,
100
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:06,664
the toupee just started scratchin'.
101
00:08:06,733 --> 00:08:10,499
No. You mean itching.
No. I mean scratching.
102
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:12,504
Look.
103
00:08:14,073 --> 00:08:16,507
Floyd King.
Got it.
104
00:08:16,576 --> 00:08:20,808
Yeah. We never lose anything around here.
Great. Thank you.
105
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,814
Okay, let's see here.
106
00:08:22,882 --> 00:08:24,816
One gray, Italian knit suit.
Check.
107
00:08:24,884 --> 00:08:29,480
One shirt, one tie,
a pair of shoes.
108
00:08:29,556 --> 00:08:32,992
A pair of socks.
But-But- Is that it?
109
00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:36,028
Yeah.
Are you sure?
110
00:08:36,095 --> 00:08:39,656
All right. So I borrowed five dollars
from a murderer.
111
00:08:39,732 --> 00:08:42,792
I'm good for it, man. Here. There it is.
No, no, no. That's not what I meant.
112
00:08:42,869 --> 00:08:45,599
There's supposed to be a toupee
somewhere in this box.
113
00:08:45,672 --> 00:08:48,732
Let me see this.
114
00:08:48,808 --> 00:08:52,244
Okay. It's supposed to be
right here in this envelope.
115
00:08:55,949 --> 00:08:58,383
Couple of hairs in here.
116
00:08:58,451 --> 00:09:01,386
Hmm. Strange.
117
00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:06,249
Bernstein.
Get me Murray Bernstein's things.
118
00:09:06,326 --> 00:09:08,260
Bernstein, Bernstein.
119
00:09:08,328 --> 00:09:10,956
Hey, that the other guy who kills lawyers?
Right.
120
00:09:11,030 --> 00:09:13,794
Uh, 12.50.
Okay.
121
00:09:13,867 --> 00:09:15,858
Hey, I'm just kiddin'.
122
00:09:17,503 --> 00:09:20,631
See, it's just-
just as I thought.
123
00:09:20,707 --> 00:09:23,039
There's supposed to be
a toupee in here too.
124
00:09:25,311 --> 00:09:27,677
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
125
00:09:27,747 --> 00:09:29,738
Close, huh?
They look...
126
00:09:29,816 --> 00:09:32,182
Real close.
Very close.
127
00:09:32,252 --> 00:09:36,120
Extremely close.
128
00:11:00,139 --> 00:11:02,437
You-You expect me to believe...
129
00:11:02,508 --> 00:11:06,035
that a-a toupee is responsible
for all these crimes?
130
00:11:06,112 --> 00:11:09,343
Who-Who's responsible for the
Saint Valentine's Day Massacre,
131
00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:12,543
a padded bra?
132
00:11:12,618 --> 00:11:14,813
You'll be sorry
if that mop of curls kills again.
133
00:11:14,887 --> 00:11:19,756
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
134
00:11:19,826 --> 00:11:21,589
God, this is great!
135
00:11:21,661 --> 00:11:24,687
I haven't laughed this hard
since Lieutenant Mulloney here...
136
00:11:24,764 --> 00:11:27,824
got stuck in the incinerator!
137
00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,993
I take it, then, you're not
gonna help me capture it?
138
00:11:30,069 --> 00:11:35,939
You want me to give you
some of my highly-trained men...
139
00:11:36,009 --> 00:11:38,341
and tell them we're going
to hunt for a toupee?
140
00:11:38,411 --> 00:11:41,869
What do you want me to do,
throw out a hairnet?
141
00:11:41,948 --> 00:11:45,543
Go ahead and laugh, Captain,
but, as we speak,
142
00:11:45,618 --> 00:11:49,611
a killer toupee is walking the streets
looking for its next victim!
143
00:11:49,689 --> 00:11:53,420
Stop!
144
00:12:00,066 --> 00:12:02,432
How did it go?
Ah! He didn't believe me.
145
00:12:02,502 --> 00:12:04,663
Did you get any more information
on the piece? Mm-hmm.
146
00:12:04,737 --> 00:12:08,138
It seems the woman who grew the hair was
accused of murdering someone in France.
147
00:12:08,207 --> 00:12:11,108
She had no money,
so she sold her hair to pay-
148
00:12:11,177 --> 00:12:13,407
that's to pay, not toupee-
149
00:12:13,479 --> 00:12:16,505
a lawyer who charged reasonable rates
but did a lousy job.
150
00:12:16,582 --> 00:12:19,210
So they lopped off her head.
They lopped off her head?
151
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:23,745
You mean they killed her? That piece
was sold to Hair & Now three weeks ago.
152
00:12:23,823 --> 00:12:25,984
Hair & Now.
Yes, Hair & Now.
153
00:12:26,059 --> 00:12:28,823
Yes! Hair & Now.
Yes, of course!
154
00:12:28,895 --> 00:12:31,386
Uh, Mr. Ballentine?
155
00:13:00,159 --> 00:13:02,150
May I help you, sir?
Oh. Uh, no.
156
00:13:02,228 --> 00:13:04,162
I'm really just here to look.
Really.
157
00:13:04,230 --> 00:13:06,528
No obligation to buy.
158
00:13:06,599 --> 00:13:09,363
If I may,
you have a lovely area for future hair.
159
00:13:09,435 --> 00:13:13,667
Oh, thanks very much.
Now, why don't you just have a seat,
160
00:13:13,739 --> 00:13:15,866
and we can explore
the possibilities.
161
00:13:15,942 --> 00:13:17,876
Uh, Mr., uh-
Monroe.
162
00:13:17,944 --> 00:13:22,643
Mr. Monroe, you would be surprised at all
the prominent people who are my clients.
163
00:13:22,715 --> 00:13:24,706
You know, I think
I'll come back some other time,
164
00:13:24,784 --> 00:13:27,184
'cause the idea of glue on my head
makes me sick.
165
00:13:27,253 --> 00:13:29,653
Oh, everyone says that
at first.
166
00:13:29,722 --> 00:13:33,249
What about
a big windstorm coming up?
167
00:13:33,326 --> 00:13:36,193
I'll give you a booklet
on how to walk in the wind,
168
00:13:36,262 --> 00:13:38,196
how to take a shower with it,
169
00:13:38,264 --> 00:13:42,428
and- listen to this-
how to even wear it in bed.
170
00:13:42,502 --> 00:13:45,130
Now, let's see if we can
get you 20 years younger...
171
00:13:45,204 --> 00:13:50,073
and ready to begin a new life
where looks are everything.
172
00:14:04,223 --> 00:14:06,691
This is going
to change your life.
173
00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:16,633
Oh, yes. This is made for you.
174
00:14:16,702 --> 00:14:20,695
Oh! Oh!
175
00:14:20,773 --> 00:14:24,140
The resemblance to Tyrone Power is-is-
176
00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:27,270
It-It's frightening.
177
00:14:27,346 --> 00:14:29,871
Tyrone Power?
178
00:14:29,949 --> 00:14:32,850
Irresistible.
179
00:14:32,919 --> 00:14:36,912
The poor ladies.
180
00:14:36,989 --> 00:14:40,481
There's no stopping you now.
181
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,461
Wait. Is this real hair?
182
00:14:43,529 --> 00:14:47,932
It's an exact replica.
It's more real than real.
183
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:52,937
It's the same stuff that the space shuttle
tiles are made of. Didn't those fall off?
184
00:14:53,005 --> 00:14:56,133
I mean, I think I'd be better
off with real hair. Real hair?
185
00:14:56,209 --> 00:15:00,373
No problem. I think I have some
real hair with your name on it.
186
00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:17,228
Mm-hmm.
187
00:15:19,031 --> 00:15:22,125
Mm-hmm.
188
00:15:22,201 --> 00:15:24,795
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
189
00:15:28,641 --> 00:15:32,168
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
190
00:15:33,179 --> 00:15:36,444
Uh-huh. Ah.
191
00:15:39,218 --> 00:15:42,278
That's the one.
You are right.
192
00:15:46,259 --> 00:15:48,250
I gotta have this baby.
193
00:15:58,704 --> 00:16:00,695
I really appreciate-
Hey!
194
00:16:00,773 --> 00:16:02,764
Oh, I'm really sorry.
195
00:16:09,649 --> 00:16:11,583
No.
196
00:16:12,918 --> 00:16:16,911
Yes. Ah, what
can I do for you?
197
00:16:16,989 --> 00:16:19,014
Does this hair here
mean anything to you?
198
00:16:19,091 --> 00:16:21,082
Well, let me see.
199
00:16:23,496 --> 00:16:25,430
Mm-hmm.
Yes?
200
00:16:25,498 --> 00:16:28,695
Mm. Ah, yeah,
looks very familiar.
201
00:16:28,768 --> 00:16:31,032
Oh!
French.
202
00:16:31,103 --> 00:16:33,833
Ah, female.
203
00:16:33,906 --> 00:16:37,034
About 5 foot 3, yeah.
204
00:16:37,109 --> 00:16:39,577
Probably from Normandy.
205
00:16:39,645 --> 00:16:42,637
How many toupees do you have
made out of this hair? Just one.
206
00:16:43,683 --> 00:16:46,743
Where is it?
Uh, no, well, just-
207
00:16:46,819 --> 00:16:49,379
Just come this way.
Um-
208
00:16:49,455 --> 00:16:51,446
Oh.
Of course.
209
00:16:51,524 --> 00:16:54,288
L-I-I-
That's the one I just sold.
210
00:16:55,294 --> 00:16:59,162
Okay. Okay, there's no time to lose.
Here's wh-what we have to do.
211
00:16:59,231 --> 00:17:01,893
I want you to find the man
who just bought that toupee.
212
00:17:01,967 --> 00:17:05,835
Go to his house, his work.
L- I want him followed, even to the bathroom.
213
00:17:05,905 --> 00:17:08,271
Meanwhile, I'll try to figure out
his next victim.
214
00:17:08,341 --> 00:17:11,105
No. And if it kills again,
it'll be on your head!
215
00:17:11,177 --> 00:17:13,577
Right. Right, right.
Listen to me. Listen to me.
216
00:17:13,646 --> 00:17:17,013
As long as that toupee walks the streets,
no male litigator is safe.
217
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,381
Believe me. I'm scared.
Mm.
218
00:17:19,452 --> 00:17:23,183
And not just because I know how quickly
a comb can become your worst enemy,
219
00:17:23,255 --> 00:17:26,952
but because the safety and security
of our entire legal system... Mm-hmm.
220
00:17:27,026 --> 00:17:30,655
Depends on our apprehending
a twisted toupee with a grudge!
221
00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:33,722
Do you understand me?
Would you like a glass of water?
222
00:17:37,636 --> 00:17:40,833
My stocks go to my niece, Barbara.
223
00:17:40,906 --> 00:17:43,306
Now, for my coin collection,
224
00:17:43,376 --> 00:17:46,072
I'd like there to be a contest.
225
00:17:46,145 --> 00:17:49,911
Can I do that?
Yes. It's your will.
226
00:17:49,982 --> 00:17:52,473
Excuse me.
227
00:17:52,551 --> 00:17:56,248
- Are you Mr. Zahl?
- Yes?
228
00:17:58,324 --> 00:18:03,557
Mr. Zahl, uh, you claim
to have reasonable rates.
229
00:18:03,629 --> 00:18:06,325
Do you, Mr. Zahl?
230
00:18:06,399 --> 00:18:09,596
Are you from the Better Business Bureau?
No. I'm a killer.
231
00:18:11,537 --> 00:18:14,028
L-I'm not taking
any more clients.
232
00:18:14,106 --> 00:18:15,869
- I think I'll go now.
- Don't move!
233
00:18:17,743 --> 00:18:21,304
Prepare to die,
Mr. Reasonable Rates Attorney.
234
00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:22,938
No! Stop!
235
00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:29,050
Come in. You're just in time
to witness a murder, Mr. -
236
00:18:29,121 --> 00:18:31,055
Ballentine.
237
00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:34,559
I've been looking for you.
238
00:18:34,627 --> 00:18:37,562
Oh, have you now,
Mr. Ballentine?
239
00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,564
Well, how did you find us?
240
00:18:39,632 --> 00:18:41,862
I forced myself to think
like a French toupee.
241
00:18:41,934 --> 00:18:46,803
This toupee, gentlemen, only kills
lawyers who advertise reasonable rates.
242
00:18:46,872 --> 00:18:50,638
And Mr. Zahl here is the last
living lawyer in town who does.
243
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:53,872
Not bad for a guy who hasn't
gotten his bar scores back yet, huh?
244
00:18:53,946 --> 00:18:56,676
Oh, so you're a lawyer too.
245
00:18:56,749 --> 00:18:59,377
No, n-not really.
246
00:18:59,452 --> 00:19:03,081
Now... which one of you
wants to die first?
247
00:19:03,155 --> 00:19:06,352
- I'm not in any hurry.
- Well, then,
248
00:19:07,493 --> 00:19:11,657
I guess it's you then.
Look!
249
00:19:18,003 --> 00:19:19,937
Toupee.
250
00:19:21,140 --> 00:19:25,509
Hello, Mr. Ballentine,
attorney-at-law.
251
00:19:25,578 --> 00:19:27,705
Do you have reasonable rates?
252
00:19:27,780 --> 00:19:29,714
L-I don't have any rates.
253
00:19:29,782 --> 00:19:31,773
This is my first case,
but we can work something out.
254
00:19:31,851 --> 00:19:34,547
Oh, you wouldn't shoot me.
255
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:39,080
I'm a victim myself-
an innocent bystander,
256
00:19:39,158 --> 00:19:42,150
a victim of hair gone wrong.
257
00:19:42,228 --> 00:19:47,131
Gotta run.
No. Stop!
258
00:19:52,271 --> 00:19:54,796
Oh.
259
00:20:00,012 --> 00:20:02,537
So let's get out there, dealers,
and spread the word.
260
00:20:02,615 --> 00:20:06,381
No matter who your clientele is,
Alfred has a hairpiece for you.
261
00:20:06,452 --> 00:20:09,683
A hairpiece with pizzazz,
with oomph, with sex appeal.
262
00:20:09,755 --> 00:20:12,747
That's right-
hair today, women tomorrow!
263
00:20:19,098 --> 00:20:22,556
Bald is pass�.
Shape up, America, with an Alfred toupee.
264
00:20:22,635 --> 00:20:27,629
You can shower. You can swim.
You can skydive in an Alfred.
265
00:20:27,706 --> 00:20:31,164
Made from the finest
fire-resistant polytrell-
266
00:20:31,243 --> 00:20:33,939
so good God wishes
he made it himself.
267
00:20:34,013 --> 00:20:38,450
This model here is our Tuf 'N Uff model, for those of
you who treat your hair roughly. What are you doing?
268
00:20:40,386 --> 00:20:43,219
Whether you're a camper
or a fisherman...
269
00:20:43,289 --> 00:20:45,883
or a hunter out there
looking for wild beaver,
270
00:20:45,958 --> 00:20:48,654
we've got a Tuf 'N Uff
that's tough enough for you.
271
00:20:48,727 --> 00:20:50,820
Scented with cedar.
272
00:20:50,896 --> 00:20:53,956
Mmm. Now that smells clean.
273
00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:57,434
But strong and durable enough
to pull the QE2 out of dry dock.
274
00:20:57,503 --> 00:21:00,939
You don't believe me?
Let's have Woody here take a pull.
275
00:21:01,006 --> 00:21:02,940
Go ahead, Woody.
276
00:21:05,244 --> 00:21:07,371
Wow. Fantastic.
It's tough.
277
00:21:07,446 --> 00:21:09,437
There you have it, gentlemen.
278
00:21:09,515 --> 00:21:14,009
We told our dedicated staff to give us the finest
toupee American ingenuity and technology could offer.
279
00:21:14,086 --> 00:21:18,284
We at Alfred will not rest until
every bald man can proudly say,
280
00:21:18,357 --> 00:21:21,849
"Hey, I've got my Alfred.
Now, how about you? "
281
00:21:21,927 --> 00:21:23,861
Gentlemen, you're working
for a quality company...
282
00:21:23,929 --> 00:21:26,363
that makes a quality product
sold by men of quality.
283
00:21:26,432 --> 00:21:29,993
And this year,
you're gonna make a lot of money.
284
00:21:30,069 --> 00:21:34,005
Stop that beard!
285
00:21:37,943 --> 00:21:40,207
Oh, no!
286
00:21:40,279 --> 00:21:42,577
Look at that.
287
00:21:44,383 --> 00:21:48,911
Oh, my goodness!
Somebody better call the police! He's crazy!
288
00:21:51,490 --> 00:21:53,424
You're a lawyer.
Yeah.
289
00:21:55,728 --> 00:21:58,925
I'm gettin' outta here.
This is crazy.
290
00:21:58,998 --> 00:22:02,058
It's alive!
What the heck is that thing?
291
00:22:04,737 --> 00:22:07,729
Gotcha!
292
00:22:09,875 --> 00:22:12,571
Yeah!
293
00:22:12,645 --> 00:22:16,240
In a crazy sort of way, I feel sorry
for anything that's incarcerated...
294
00:22:16,315 --> 00:22:18,749
Without the benefit
of representation.
295
00:22:18,817 --> 00:22:21,308
Well, maybe you could-
Represent hair?
296
00:22:21,387 --> 00:22:23,321
No. Humans are my specialty.
297
00:22:25,391 --> 00:22:30,124
Mr. Ballentine. Well, I guess
I should've believed you.
298
00:22:30,195 --> 00:22:32,959
You're a good man.
You deserve this victory.
299
00:22:33,032 --> 00:22:35,159
He who laughs last
laughs best, huh?
300
00:22:35,234 --> 00:22:37,168
No, Chief.
I can't laugh.
301
00:22:37,236 --> 00:22:39,636
I can't laugh at all until...
302
00:22:39,705 --> 00:22:42,936
they find a less-embarrassing word
for the penal system.
303
00:22:46,311 --> 00:22:48,245
Oh.
304
00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:53,310
How's it goin'?
All right, Schmidt. How ya doin'?
305
00:22:53,385 --> 00:22:55,546
Just great.
Is that it?
306
00:22:55,621 --> 00:22:58,021
Well, so they tell me.
Oh, geez.
307
00:22:59,124 --> 00:23:01,115
See ya at 4:00, huh?
Yeah.
308
00:23:05,631 --> 00:23:08,293
Yeah.
309
00:23:11,670 --> 00:23:13,604
Oh, geez.
310
00:23:13,672 --> 00:23:16,163
Ah.
311
00:23:22,414 --> 00:23:24,780
Mmm.
24515
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