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1
00:00:01,021 --> 00:00:03,129
Mornings in a hospital are
filled with possibilities.
2
00:00:03,130 --> 00:00:05,856
You could encounter a disease
you've never seen before.
3
00:00:05,857 --> 00:00:11,469
Make a life-saving diagnosis. Or
try out the best new nickname _ever_.
4
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,484
Good morning, Black Whale.
5
00:00:14,355 --> 00:00:14,747
No.
6
00:00:16,425 --> 00:00:17,208
No to "black" or no to "whale"?
7
00:00:17,209 --> 00:00:18,357
Just no.
8
00:00:20,515 --> 00:00:21,459
Hey, idiot.
9
00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:23,840
I said "idiot" and you looked.
10
00:00:23,841 --> 00:00:27,369
I looked because you did the "hey
idiot" thing to me, like, six months ago.
11
00:00:27,370 --> 00:00:28,528
Did you look then?
12
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:29,550
Yeah.
13
00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:30,316
Heh.
14
00:00:30,317 --> 00:00:33,444
You know what? I think you're
out of ways to bother me.
15
00:00:33,445 --> 00:00:34,820
No, you're wrong.
16
00:00:34,821 --> 00:00:36,444
Think of a way to annoy me right now.
17
00:00:39,674 --> 00:00:40,763
That's what I thought.
18
00:00:42,482 --> 00:00:45,870
Come here, Aquaman. One more patient
and then we're gettin' out of here.
19
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:48,940
So Elliot's marine biologist
boyfriend comes back for the weekend
20
00:00:48,941 --> 00:00:50,761
just as my girlfriend
leaves town for the holidays.
21
00:00:50,762 --> 00:00:52,757
But you know what? It doesn't bother me!
22
00:00:52,758 --> 00:00:55,458
J.D., Sean's gonna let me swim
with the dolphins this weekend.
23
00:00:55,459 --> 00:00:57,689
Oh really, that's great,
I hope they don't maul you.
24
00:00:58,978 --> 00:01:00,672
Relax Elliot, dolphins love people.
25
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,416
H-how'd you get that giant
scar on your leg again?
26
00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:08,216
Oh, parachute pants. Yeah,
it got caught in the zipper.
27
00:01:09,127 --> 00:01:09,645
Right.
28
00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,140
You're lying already! I love that!
29
00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:15,424
Well, it wasn't even
a dolphin that bit me.
30
00:01:15,425 --> 00:01:16,313
What was it?
31
00:01:16,314 --> 00:01:16,955
Black whale.
32
00:01:16,956 --> 00:01:17,953
You rang?
33
00:01:17,954 --> 00:01:20,564
Yes! I knew you'd end up liking it!
34
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:25,582
Mrs. Cantwell, just have to
give you a quick pelvic exam,
35
00:01:25,583 --> 00:01:29,484
so throw your feet up in these stirrups
here and, uh, scoot your tushie down.
36
00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:41,220
Come on, Sean, let's go!
37
00:01:44,106 --> 00:01:45,636
Shouldn't you at least
buy her breakfast?
38
00:01:51,647 --> 00:01:54,074
Elliot, don't be embarrassed. You're
not the first person to give a patient
39
00:01:54,075 --> 00:01:57,266
an orgasm during a
pelvic exam. No one cares.
40
00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,413
Please, I'm sure the two of
you haven't stopped obsessing
41
00:01:59,414 --> 00:02:00,754
about it since the second it happened.
42
00:02:01,578 --> 00:02:03,993
Woman, we're professionals.
Isn't that right, Dr. Dorian?
43
00:02:06,802 --> 00:02:10,690
52? Mrs. Cantwell, you
don't look a day over 25.
44
00:02:22,902 --> 00:02:23,610
Dude!
45
00:02:24,555 --> 00:02:26,783
Oh, I'm sorry. What--what's up?
What's happening with the other thing?
46
00:02:26,784 --> 00:02:27,609
That's great.
47
00:02:27,610 --> 00:02:30,986
Elliot come on, I have never heard
a woman make sounds like that!
48
00:02:30,987 --> 00:02:32,869
Oh, I'm sure you haven't.
49
00:02:34,783 --> 00:02:37,598
See, it's funny because you've
never really satisfied a woman!
50
00:02:37,599 --> 00:02:39,392
Well, you might want to
double-check with YOUR MOM!
51
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:43,289
Around here we all
make fun of each other.
52
00:02:43,980 --> 00:02:46,762
Except for Carla. _No
one_ makes fun of Carla.
53
00:02:47,809 --> 00:02:50,792
Got a gross of bedpans here, and
where should I pick up my medal?
54
00:02:51,913 --> 00:02:52,610
For what?
55
00:02:52,611 --> 00:02:55,367
For reading your chicken-scratch
handwriting. Who is with me?
56
00:02:58,717 --> 00:03:01,588
Listen, I run back and forth for
18 hours a day between patients
57
00:03:01,589 --> 00:03:04,632
who _might_ die and patients who
_will_ die, and if I find time
58
00:03:04,633 --> 00:03:08,725
to write an order for bedpans, I
write it fast. So you will forgive me
59
00:03:08,726 --> 00:03:11,135
if I don't feel like being
judged by some guy in his thirties
60
00:03:11,136 --> 00:03:12,935
who still wears shorts to work!
61
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,504
Now, go ahead and say the only three words
I want to hear coming out of your mouth.
62
00:03:17,505 --> 00:03:19,464
S-sign here, please?
63
00:03:24,310 --> 00:03:25,760
Thanks again for holding
the door for me back there.
64
00:03:25,761 --> 00:03:27,838
In my defense, I didn't know
you were behind me because
65
00:03:27,839 --> 00:03:30,203
I didn't hear anybody telling
me what a horrible person I am.
66
00:03:31,324 --> 00:03:32,460
Heeey! How are the new happy parents?
67
00:03:32,461 --> 00:03:36,218
Oh, I'm living my dream.
Have a great day today.
68
00:03:36,219 --> 00:03:39,675
Hurry home tonight so you can ignore
your son and not do your share.
69
00:03:41,157 --> 00:03:45,634
You make me want to kill myself and
everybody around me! Ohh...Come, Dixie.
70
00:03:46,849 --> 00:03:49,690
So, uh, you and Jordan...huh?
You wanna talk about it?
71
00:03:50,316 --> 00:03:55,539
I do, but not here, because I'll probably
just oh...cry...and it's too late!
72
00:03:57,176 --> 00:04:01,054
Here I swore I wouldn't do this.
Come on, Perry, get it together.
73
00:04:01,055 --> 00:04:05,335
Get it together. Get it to--you
stop it! You stop it! You stop it!
74
00:04:05,982 --> 00:04:07,815
You stop it! Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it! Huuuuah!
75
00:04:08,687 --> 00:04:09,856
Come on, you idiot.
76
00:04:12,109 --> 00:04:13,513
Heyyy fellas, what's the good word?
77
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:17,638
Uh, Mr. Randolph, your PSA number's gone
up quite a bit since your last blood test.
78
00:04:17,639 --> 00:04:20,251
Now, this could be from the
prostatitis, we won't know for sure
79
00:04:20,252 --> 00:04:22,655
until your biopsy results come
back later on this afternoon.
80
00:04:22,656 --> 00:04:26,187
But I feel pretty certain that
we're gonna find something.
81
00:04:28,256 --> 00:04:30,005
Oh for God's sake Catherine,
stop making a scene!
82
00:04:32,028 --> 00:04:34,144
I'm sorry doctors, but she
gets a little emotional.
83
00:04:35,604 --> 00:04:36,348
Are you two WASPs?
84
00:04:37,185 --> 00:04:38,368
Episcopalian. Why?
85
00:04:41,396 --> 00:04:42,860
I can't believe you would
veto the French Riviera
86
00:04:42,861 --> 00:04:44,792
for our honeymoon because
of the nude beaches.
87
00:04:44,793 --> 00:04:47,827
Baby, the whole point of
marriage is that I'm the only one
88
00:04:47,828 --> 00:04:49,729
who gets to see your
candies and whatnot.
89
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:53,891
I gotta go. Meet me in
the On-Call room in an hour,
90
00:04:53,892 --> 00:04:56,104
I have a very sexy surprise for you.
91
00:04:56,105 --> 00:04:57,575
Oh? Hell yeah.
92
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:00,248
This guy's sick.
93
00:05:00,249 --> 00:05:01,277
Thanks.
94
00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:05,200
You're stupid!
95
00:05:05,201 --> 00:05:08,605
See, now you're just embarrassing
yourself. Pick someone else to annoy!
96
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,296
I don't pick 'em. They pick me!
97
00:05:17,509 --> 00:05:20,435
You know, loose debris can get sucked
up into the air conditioning vents.
98
00:05:21,775 --> 00:05:23,702
And when that happens, I
have to spend the entire day
99
00:05:23,703 --> 00:05:27,409
crawling around inside the wall,
and I don't like that. You know why?
100
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,670
'Cause there's not enough air.
I spent a day inside that wall
101
00:05:29,671 --> 00:05:33,837
thinking I was a mermaid. So here's the
thing: you don't throw around loose trash,
102
00:05:33,838 --> 00:05:36,905
and I won't have to waste an
entire workday granting the wishes
103
00:05:36,906 --> 00:05:39,487
of imaginary fisherman. 'Kay?
104
00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:45,795
Dude, I'm not scared of you.
Life's too good. I'm untouchable.
105
00:05:49,077 --> 00:05:50,771
That's what I hoped you'd say.
106
00:05:54,516 --> 00:05:57,131
Dr. Murphy, how about you
start us off by describing
107
00:05:57,132 --> 00:06:00,586
the medical condition of
your patient Mr. Eronson here.
108
00:06:00,587 --> 00:06:05,838
He's got hypertrophic cardiomyopathy with
severe secondary pulmonary hypertension.
109
00:06:06,646 --> 00:06:10,383
Wrong. He's dead. Another one
bites the dust, huh, sport?
110
00:06:10,384 --> 00:06:13,998
Next contestant, Dr. Reid.
111
00:06:14,695 --> 00:06:16,457
Mr. Murdock was admitted
with a COPD exacerbation;
112
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:19,872
he responded well to antibiotics and
bronchial dilators but he did develop a rash
113
00:06:19,873 --> 00:06:22,795
on his, um...private area.
114
00:06:22,796 --> 00:06:24,019
Sorry, on his what?
115
00:06:24,638 --> 00:06:25,005
His peepers.
116
00:06:25,554 --> 00:06:25,803
Excuse me?
117
00:06:25,804 --> 00:06:26,782
His schwing-schwong.
118
00:06:26,783 --> 00:06:32,112
Dr. Reid, it's bad enough you run out on
a patient in the middle of a pelvic exam.
119
00:06:32,113 --> 00:06:37,769
But you are a doctor, and you need to
be able to say simple clinical words
120
00:06:37,770 --> 00:06:40,680
like "penis," or "vagina," or "anal."
121
00:06:40,681 --> 00:06:42,988
"Anal" is not a dirty word, sir.
122
00:06:42,989 --> 00:06:45,064
Tell that to my wife.
123
00:06:49,627 --> 00:06:54,060
The, uh, the biopsy's back and I'm
afraid it's positive for prostate cancer.
124
00:06:55,251 --> 00:06:58,725
Rats! Excuse my language,
dear. You know what, Catherine,
125
00:06:58,726 --> 00:07:01,281
I can see this conversation being
riddled with that kind of talk.
126
00:07:01,282 --> 00:07:02,561
Perhaps you should
wait out in the hallway.
127
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,424
Uh, you know sir, I know that it's
cancer, but I'm not really worried.
128
00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:10,378
Excuse me, am I confusing
cancer with some other disease?
129
00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:12,998
No you're not. I think
what Captain Bedside here
130
00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:15,997
is _trying_ to say is that it
hasn't spread to the lymph nodes yet,
131
00:07:15,998 --> 00:07:17,773
so it's still quite easily operable.
132
00:07:17,774 --> 00:07:21,119
Yes, and there's an opening in surgery
tonight, I managed to jam you in.
133
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:24,118
Look, I know this is happening awfully
fast, you must have a lot of emotions
134
00:07:24,119 --> 00:07:28,356
swirling around, but I want you to know
if you have any questions at all, I'm here.
135
00:07:31,273 --> 00:07:32,975
Do you know what channel
that Queer Guy show is on?
136
00:07:34,101 --> 00:07:34,688
It's okay, tell him.
137
00:07:34,689 --> 00:07:37,333
Bravo, Tuesdays at 10,
9 central, 8 Mountain.
138
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:42,895
Oh, lookathat, message from Jordan.
139
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:43,558
How's it going?
140
00:07:43,559 --> 00:07:45,158
Just great.
141
00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:47,214
Hey, watch it!
142
00:07:47,215 --> 00:07:49,118
Dr. Cox, we've known each
other for over two years....
143
00:07:49,119 --> 00:07:52,536
Let me in, okay? Help me help you.
Help me help you, help me help you
144
00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:53,752
Stop it.
145
00:07:54,699 --> 00:07:57,448
Fine, Newbie! Let me--let me tell you
a little story. It starts every day
146
00:07:57,449 --> 00:08:01,191
at 5 in the morning -- which is just about the
time that you're setting your hair for work --
147
00:08:01,192 --> 00:08:06,387
when I am awakened by a sound: Is that
a cat being gutted by a fishing knife?
148
00:08:06,388 --> 00:08:10,934
Nooo! That's my son. He's hungry and
he's got a load in his pants so big
149
00:08:10,935 --> 00:08:14,605
that I'm actually considering hiring a
stable boy. But, I go ahead and dig in;
150
00:08:14,606 --> 00:08:18,560
because I do love the lad and,
well gosh, you know me, I'm a giver.
151
00:08:18,561 --> 00:08:23,376
And I'm off to the hospital, where my cup
runneth over with both quality colleagues,
152
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:27,819
such as yourself, and a proverbial
clown-car full of sick people.
153
00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:32,293
But, what the hey, my pay is about the same
as guys who break rocks with other rocks
154
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:36,872
and I only have to work three or four hundred
hours a week, so, so far I'm a pretty happy camper!
155
00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:41,932
And then I head back home where I'm greeted
by the faint musk of baby vomit in a house
156
00:08:41,933 --> 00:08:46,897
that used to smell like, well...nothing!
Nothing! Nothing! I-i-in fact it used
157
00:08:46,898 --> 00:08:51,347
to smell like nothing at all. And all I want to
do before I restart this whole glorious cycle is,
158
00:08:51,348 --> 00:08:56,590
you know, maybe lay on the couch and have
a beer and watch some SportsCenter and,
159
00:08:56,591 --> 00:09:00,416
I'm if I'm not too sweaty from the days
labors, stick my hand right down my pants,
160
00:09:00,417 --> 00:09:06,136
buuut apparently that's not in Jordan's
definition of "pulling your weight".
161
00:09:08,544 --> 00:09:11,087
So, uh, there you are,
superstar. Fix that.
162
00:09:12,373 --> 00:09:15,614
Well, that's easy! Just tell her
about it. Tell her everything you feel.
163
00:09:15,615 --> 00:09:19,289
Should I give her every reason
to accept that I'm for real?
164
00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:22,255
First of all, no one understands
relationships like Billy Joel, okay?
165
00:09:22,256 --> 00:09:24,485
"Uptown Girl" got me through high
school -- long story for another day.
166
00:09:24,486 --> 00:09:27,147
Secondly, you don't want to end
up like the Randolphs back there,
167
00:09:27,148 --> 00:09:29,220
just not saying a word
to each other, do you?
168
00:09:32,895 --> 00:09:35,190
You wish _we_ were more like
the Randolphs, don't you?
169
00:09:36,487 --> 00:09:39,883
God save me, I do. I reeeeally do!
170
00:09:44,143 --> 00:09:46,079
Come here.
171
00:09:50,460 --> 00:09:54,865
So, here's your surprise: You know
we'll be getting married in six months...
172
00:09:54,866 --> 00:09:58,832
And I just thought it
would be so...hot...
173
00:09:58,833 --> 00:09:59,809
Yeah?
174
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:02,430
...if we didn't have sex
again until our wedding night.
175
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,827
Can you imagine how
great that night will be?
176
00:10:06,828 --> 00:10:16,428
So great! Um, how about this, though: How
about...you stop having sex, but I keep having sex?
177
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:17,930
You mean like an affair?
178
00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:21,129
No! I'll just have sex with
you when you're sleeping.
179
00:10:21,911 --> 00:10:24,218
Turk, how can you not think
this idea is so romantic?
180
00:10:24,219 --> 00:10:27,627
Maybe you got me confused with that
little Amish boy you used to date.
181
00:10:35,646 --> 00:10:37,234
Untouchable, eh?
182
00:10:39,695 --> 00:10:42,083
Hey, Dr. Kelso, none of my
patients have died today.
183
00:10:42,084 --> 00:10:45,157
Really? Mr. Ferguson's
corpse begs to differ.
184
00:10:46,057 --> 00:10:46,646
Darn it!
185
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:50,383
Oh, and Dr. Reid, your patient, Mrs.
Burke, has developed a urinary infection.
186
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:54,540
Apparently it hurts when she makes
wizzie-winkles through her sea-biscuit.
187
00:10:56,649 --> 00:10:58,375
You know, it's not my fault that
dirty stuff makes me uncomfortable.
188
00:10:58,376 --> 00:10:59,643
Oh, who's fault is it?
189
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:06,330
But more important than anything, more
important than never letting yourself get fat,
190
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:09,163
is never let a man put his dirty
howdoyoudo into your bajingo.
191
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:14,102
Jorge! I need to see
you in the potting shed.
192
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:28,793
She was always yelling at Jorge in that
potting shed. But she never fired him.
193
00:11:28,794 --> 00:11:31,581
Even after he kidnapped her
and took her to Acapulco....
194
00:11:33,618 --> 00:11:36,218
J.D., how am I supposed to reverse
26 years of uptight repression?
195
00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:39,275
This is a job for Miss
Busybody Smartypants!
196
00:11:48,904 --> 00:11:51,023
I know what you have to do, and
I'm gonna help you through this.
197
00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:00,817
Dude, I'm dying here.
198
00:12:01,507 --> 00:12:03,242
Turk, it's been like eighteen
hours since you had sex.
199
00:12:03,243 --> 00:12:04,870
I'm saying, this is torture!
200
00:12:04,871 --> 00:12:07,386
So why don't you just,
like, "take care of yo'self"?
201
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,140
Man, you know I don't do that.
202
00:12:09,141 --> 00:12:10,322
You don't?
203
00:12:10,323 --> 00:12:12,631
Nah, I only did that
like twice in my life.
204
00:12:13,453 --> 00:12:13,905
Same here.
205
00:12:13,906 --> 00:12:16,758
If by "in my life" you
mean "since dinner".
206
00:12:16,759 --> 00:12:18,352
I gotta go to sleep, I'm tired.
207
00:12:18,353 --> 00:12:24,418
Ohhhhh, my little newbie-doobie-doo! Say,
that whole "telling Jordan how I feel" thing
208
00:12:24,419 --> 00:12:28,438
just went terrific, thank you for that. Now I
need a place to crash. Where's Naomi's bedroom?
209
00:12:29,471 --> 00:12:30,118
Good night, roomies.
210
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:35,493
We gotta get that lock fixed.
211
00:12:35,494 --> 00:12:38,841
The only lock I gotta get fixed is
the one connected to Carla's panties.
212
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:43,967
I need to get a key. I need to call a
locksmith. I thought I was the locksmith, man.
213
00:12:45,486 --> 00:12:49,930
Then she cut me off, man, just like that.
Full prison lock-down, no one gets in or out.
214
00:12:49,931 --> 00:12:51,057
Man, that's tough.
215
00:12:51,967 --> 00:12:53,690
If you're not gonna use
my bed, can I use it?
216
00:12:53,691 --> 00:12:57,393
No you may not, on account of this
whole Jordan situation being your fault.
217
00:12:58,597 --> 00:13:00,419
You told her that spending the day
with the baby isn't really a job
218
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:02,105
and that it's turned her
into an inflexible shrew!
219
00:13:02,106 --> 00:13:05,679
Newbie, you told me to tell her
exactly how I feel, I did just that.
220
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:09,071
Now you'll remain on the floor until
you come up with a new plan for me.
221
00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:14,432
You know, Dr. Cox, I--I know this is
tough on you what with you being psychotic
222
00:13:14,433 --> 00:13:19,981
and all, but, I'm out, okay? It's 3
a.m. and there's nothing in the world
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00:13:19,982 --> 00:13:21,868
that's gonna keep me from
going to sleep right now.
224
00:13:24,785 --> 00:13:26,549
What do you mean you changed
your mind about surgery?
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00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:29,573
Catherine downloaded some
information on alternative treatments
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00:13:29,574 --> 00:13:32,526
diet, exercise, seed implants....
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00:13:32,527 --> 00:13:35,497
No, sir, those are, at best, a
stall. Now I know there's trepidation
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00:13:35,498 --> 00:13:37,744
when you talk about surgery
in the area of the penis--
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00:13:37,745 --> 00:13:40,988
Whoa! Quick pause on the
guttertalk! Catherine, hallway.
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00:13:43,765 --> 00:13:44,703
Look, I
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00:13:44,704 --> 00:13:46,956
Go.
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I know there are possible side-effects,
but the incontinence goes away
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00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:53,516
with most patients, and sexual
dysfunction can be treated with anything
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00:13:53,517 --> 00:13:55,187
from Viagra to a penis pump.
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00:13:55,188 --> 00:13:57,750
Penis pump? That sounds awkward.
236
00:13:58,639 --> 00:13:59,341
Doesn't have to be.
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00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:06,730
Wow! It's a giraffe!
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00:14:10,586 --> 00:14:15,235
End of discussion! I'm not having the
surgery. Although I don't mind that
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00:14:15,236 --> 00:14:21,709
they've shaved me already. Proportionately,
everything seems much...grander.
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00:14:23,953 --> 00:14:27,272
All right, Elliot, you just have to ease
into it, okay? Let's forget about patients
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00:14:27,273 --> 00:14:30,019
for now and start with this.
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00:14:32,127 --> 00:14:36,589
Ohh, my God! She's got a tattoo of
a teardrop on her bajingo! Is it sad?
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00:14:37,642 --> 00:14:41,965
Her _vagina_, Elliot, she has a
tattoo on her beautiful vagina.
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00:14:42,888 --> 00:14:47,153
Awwwh! This just isn't fair.
Not fair at all. It's ridiculous!
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00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:48,112
This is stupid!
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00:14:48,113 --> 00:14:49,984
Elliot, I'm just trying to help.
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00:14:49,985 --> 00:14:52,608
Yeah, you know what Carla, I don't
remember asking for your help, okay?
248
00:14:55,945 --> 00:15:00,311
It does look a little
sad. They always do.
249
00:15:14,844 --> 00:15:15,768
Hey!
250
00:15:15,992 --> 00:15:18,911
This is a hospital, why
are you playing that song?
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00:15:19,956 --> 00:15:22,964
Ohh! You mean "We Don't
Have To Take Our Clothes Off"
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00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:27,549
Jermaine Stewart's classic anthem
to platonic love. No reason.
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00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:30,206
Whatever it is you're trying
to do, it's not working.
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00:15:31,019 --> 00:15:33,408
'Course not, not with you.
You're, uh...what'd you say?
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00:15:33,409 --> 00:15:37,280
Untouchable. Well, anyway, back to work.
256
00:15:49,711 --> 00:15:50,562
New friend!
257
00:15:52,094 --> 00:15:54,423
Mr. Greenberg needs 2.4
milliunits of penicillin IM.
258
00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:56,642
Why, does he have a
spinkle in his gherkin?
259
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,046
Carla, you're right, okay? That
stuff makes me uncomfortable,
260
00:16:00,047 --> 00:16:03,119
and there was a time when that
would've sent me into a shame spiral,
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00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,223
but now I'm just gonna get over
it at my own pace. And until then,
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00:16:06,224 --> 00:16:08,513
I honestly don't mind that you're
making fun of me, but what does bother me
263
00:16:08,514 --> 00:16:10,216
is that no one is ever
allowed to make fun of you.
264
00:16:11,051 --> 00:16:12,044
People can make fun of me.
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00:16:12,045 --> 00:16:16,317
Come on! What about that delivery guy yesterday?
I mean, you practically tore him a new binglebore.
266
00:16:17,178 --> 00:16:19,840
But he's not my friend. My friends
can make fun of me whenever they want.
267
00:16:20,785 --> 00:16:23,132
Really? Well, then, in that case
you're a know-it-all smartypants
268
00:16:23,133 --> 00:16:25,406
and if you're not telling someone what
to do, you're probably not talking.
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00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,827
Okay, I guess I can be a little bossy.
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00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:33,220
A little? Girl, please! If you
met Jesus hisself, you'd be trying
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00:16:33,221 --> 00:16:35,040
to tell him where to park his donkey.
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00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:38,877
Oh, are we allowed to do this now? What
about that whole, like, hands on the hips,
273
00:16:38,878 --> 00:16:41,219
"Carla from the block" thing she
does when she's mad -- when she's like
274
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:43,797
"Oh, Bambi, you do _not_ want
to mess me with right now."
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00:16:45,895 --> 00:16:46,825
You do sound like that.
276
00:16:46,826 --> 00:16:48,433
Careful Doug, we are not that close yet.
277
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:51,115
"Careful, Doug."
278
00:16:52,082 --> 00:16:54,022
"Doug, you better be
careful, 'cause I'm Carla."
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00:16:58,103 --> 00:16:58,771
Mr. Randolph.
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00:17:00,539 --> 00:17:03,011
What's he doing here? You
know I don't like these people.
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00:17:05,346 --> 00:17:07,236
Surgeons. Not African-Americans.
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00:17:08,241 --> 00:17:10,224
Oh!... We're actually
saying "black" now, sir.
283
00:17:11,095 --> 00:17:11,848
I was right, Catherine!
284
00:17:11,849 --> 00:17:16,070
Listen sir, I brought Dr. Turk here to
help you get over your fear of surgery.
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00:17:16,995 --> 00:17:17,592
I'm not scared.
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00:17:17,593 --> 00:17:19,013
Then what is it?
287
00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:24,175
I don't know if you've noticed, but Catherine
and I don't always communicate that well.
288
00:17:25,108 --> 00:17:26,053
No, I
can't--
289
00:17:26,054 --> 00:17:26,667
You're joshing!
290
00:17:26,668 --> 00:17:33,275
No, it's true. But when I lay that beautiful
woman down onto our bed to make love
291
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:34,192
Wow.
292
00:17:34,478 --> 00:17:35,032
Oh, God.
293
00:17:35,157 --> 00:17:43,287
the walls come tumbling down. It's the
one place that I can tell her how wonderful
294
00:17:43,288 --> 00:17:47,813
and beautiful she is, and how
I would be lost without her.
295
00:17:51,707 --> 00:17:56,184
Now I know I will probably have
to have this surgery eventually,
296
00:17:56,185 --> 00:18:00,999
but until then I am not going to risk losing
the one thing that keeps me close to her.
297
00:18:02,563 --> 00:18:03,938
Not until I absolutely have to.
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00:18:07,164 --> 00:18:08,345
Yes dear, you can come in.
299
00:18:10,648 --> 00:18:13,903
Maybe the dirty little secret about
sex is that it isn't so dirty after all.
300
00:18:21,423 --> 00:18:23,060
Do you think you could try
to be a tiny bit mature?
301
00:18:23,073 --> 00:18:24,589
Oh, this is me mature.
302
00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:27,407
Uh, excuse me.
303
00:18:27,408 --> 00:18:28,516
Whaaat?!
304
00:18:28,517 --> 00:18:32,310
Okay, so there's that.... Uh, look,
I realize I let you down before,
305
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:37,495
and I was thinking I could make it up to you
by, you know, maybe baby-sitting sometime.
306
00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:44,115
The weird thing is, even though it's
natural, sex can make us uncomfortable.
307
00:18:44,116 --> 00:18:50,659
You have a...penis.
And I...have a vagina!
308
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:53,687
That is so hot.
309
00:18:53,688 --> 00:18:56,640
But if we work at it, we can
get beyond that discomfort.
310
00:19:00,168 --> 00:19:01,630
And realize that sex can
actually be a comfort.
311
00:19:02,780 --> 00:19:06,538
Hey, baby. I was just with a patient who
made me understand what romance really means.
312
00:19:06,539 --> 00:19:10,022
So as far as this no-sex thing
goes, I'm with you a hundred percent.
313
00:19:10,753 --> 00:19:16,166
Everyone I know just spent the last two hours
listing my faults. I wanna have sex. Now.
314
00:19:16,869 --> 00:19:18,260
I'll get the condoms.
315
00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:25,784
Sorry.
316
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:30,463
Sex can even be a cure.
317
00:19:30,464 --> 00:19:34,588
Whoa, that was.... Well,
why were you so angry at me?
318
00:19:34,589 --> 00:19:36,612
Oh, I don't even remember.
319
00:19:43,595 --> 00:19:47,597
How do I know all this? Because no one
understands how important sex is better
320
00:19:47,598 --> 00:19:49,424
than someone who isn't having any.
321
00:19:51,369 --> 00:19:52,993
Helloooo, Cinemax.
28673
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