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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:04,756 [???] 2 00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:05,816 - I HAVE A SPECIAL TREAT - FOR YOU TODAY. 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:06,674 ICE CREAM! 4 00:00:06,716 --> 00:00:08,050 [CHEERING] 5 00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:09,802 - YOU JUST HAVE TO MAKE IT - USING SCIENCE. 6 00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:11,888 [GROANING] 7 00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:13,598 IT'S EASY. 8 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,433 - JUST PUT THE CREAM AND THE SUGAR - IN A BAG 9 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,352 AND PUT THAT BAG 10 00:00:17,353 --> 00:00:19,228 INTO THE ICE/SALT MIXTURE. 11 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:20,688 CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHY? 12 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:22,337 BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO CHEAP 13 00:00:22,338 --> 00:00:23,942 TO BUY ICE CREAM? 14 00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:26,068 THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT, ECHO. 15 00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:28,028 - THE SALT LOWERS - THE FREEZING POINT 16 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:29,572 OF THE ICE, 17 00:00:29,614 --> 00:00:30,823 MAKING IT COLD ENOUGH 18 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,346 TO MAKE 19 00:00:32,347 --> 00:00:33,826 DELICIOUS ICE CREAM. 20 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:36,078 VANILLA ICE CREAM? 21 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,330 OH, NOTHING AS FANCY 22 00:00:37,331 --> 00:00:38,539 AS VANILLA. 23 00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:41,083 THIS IS PLAIN ICE CREAM. 24 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,189 THAT WAY, YOU CAN TASTE 25 00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:43,252 THE ICE AND THE CREAM. 26 00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:44,420 COME ON, 27 00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:45,689 - LET'S THROW SOME FLAVOUR - INTO THIS THING. 28 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:46,736 I DON'T THINK 29 00:00:46,737 --> 00:00:47,757 WE'RE READY FOR FLAVOUR. 30 00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:50,218 A LITTLE OF THIS 31 00:00:50,219 --> 00:00:51,427 AND A LITTLE OF THAT... 32 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:52,929 DERBY, CHEMISTRY 33 00:00:52,930 --> 00:00:54,388 IS A PRECISE SCIENCE. 34 00:00:54,430 --> 00:00:56,032 - YOU CAN'T JUST MIX - A BUNCH OF RANDOM STUFF TOGETHER 35 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,016 AND EXPECT IT TO WORK. 36 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,100 DID IT! 37 00:00:58,142 --> 00:00:59,142 I MADE ICE CREAM. 38 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,773 [KIDS]: OH! 39 00:01:07,151 --> 00:01:09,111 DERBY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? 40 00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,113 I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS. 41 00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:13,783 I'VE DISCOVERED I'M A WEREWOLF! 42 00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:16,995 NOW, BACK TO MY ICE CREAM. 43 00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:17,996 - YOU'RE NOT - A WEREWOLF. 44 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:19,121 YOU MUST HAVE CREATED 45 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,123 - SOME KIND - OF HAIR-GROWTH FORMULA. 46 00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:23,083 THAT'S ANOTHER POSSIBILITY. 47 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:33,511 ? GOODBYE, SUMMER 48 00:01:33,512 --> 00:01:36,096 HELLO, FALL ? 49 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:37,282 - ? WE'VE BEEN TRYING - TO GET HERE ? 50 00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:39,642 ? SINCE WE BOTH 51 00:01:39,643 --> 00:01:41,978 WERE BARELY TWO FEET TALL ? 52 00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:43,038 ? WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ? 53 00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:44,522 ? WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ? 54 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:47,942 ? WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ? 55 00:01:47,984 --> 00:01:49,169 - ? YOU CAN CALL ME - WHAT YOU WANT ? 56 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:54,114 ? BUT I WON'T HEAR A WORD... ? 57 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:56,617 ? WHO YOU CALLING "KID"? ?? 58 00:02:01,706 --> 00:02:03,833 IVY? 59 00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,084 YOU SIGNED UP TO LEARN 60 00:02:05,085 --> 00:02:06,293 CARDIOPULMONARY RESUSCITATION? 61 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:07,753 WAIT A MINUTE. 62 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,735 CPR STANDS FOR 63 00:02:09,736 --> 00:02:11,674 CARDIO SOMETHING SOMETHING? 64 00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:13,175 WHAT'D YOU THINK IT STOOD FOR? 65 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,135 CLOSE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. 66 00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,178 I WAS HOPING 67 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,179 I'D MEET A CUTE GUY 68 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,181 - TO CUT THIS - CLASS WITH. 69 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:20,432 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 70 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,195 - WHAT DID YOU THINK - THE DUMMIES WERE FOR? 71 00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:24,020 PRACTICE. 72 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:24,896 - I'VE BEEN MAKING OUT - WITH THIS ONE 73 00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:25,937 FOR, LIKE, 10 MINUTES. 74 00:02:35,073 --> 00:02:37,199 WELL, THIS IS AWKWARD. 75 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,868 ANYWAY... 76 00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:39,928 - WHO WANTS TO - SAVE A LIFE? 77 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:40,745 OH, ME! 78 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:41,746 [BOY]: I DO! 79 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,163 - OKAY, THIS - HAS BEEN FUN. 80 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,999 IVY, YOU CAN'T LEAVE. 81 00:02:45,041 --> 00:02:46,208 YOU NEED TO PASS AN ELECTIVE, 82 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,228 - AND THE ONLY OTHER CLASS - WITH SPACE STILL AVAILABLE 83 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:49,795 IS "MOCK UNITED NATIONS." 84 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:50,943 OOH, I'M REALLY GOOD 85 00:02:50,944 --> 00:02:52,048 AT MOCKING NATIONS. 86 00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:53,424 HEY, TURKMENISTAN! 87 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,384 - YOU MAY LEAD THE WORLD - IN IODINE RESERVES, 88 00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:56,802 - BUT THE NIGHT LIFE - IN ASHGABAT 89 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,263 LEAVES MUCH TO BE DESIRED! 90 00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,746 SERIOUSLY, TRY TO GET 91 00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,184 A BOWL OF PLOV AFTER 11:00. 92 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,154 LADIES. 93 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,240 - DERBY, YOU SHOULD - STOP USING THAT STUFF. 94 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:19,366 IT HASN'T BEEN TESTED. 95 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,201 SURE IT HAS. 96 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,244 I TESTED IT ON MY FACE, 97 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:23,245 MY CHEST, 98 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:25,790 MY... OTHER PLACES. 99 00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,481 YOU NEED TO DO 100 00:03:28,482 --> 00:03:29,961 PROPER CLINICAL TRIALS. 101 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,129 I'M IN THE MIDDLE 102 00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:32,254 OF A 10-YEAR PROJECT 103 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,481 - ON PLANT GROWTH - ACCELERATION, 104 00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,215 - SOMEDAY HOPING TO SOLVE - WORLD HUNGER. 105 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:36,258 THAT'S SAD, 106 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,278 - BECAUSE IN TWO MINUTES, - I SOLVED WORLD BALDNESS... 107 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:39,302 A REAL PROBLEM. 108 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:41,973 TRUST ME, DERBY. 109 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:43,158 - NOBODY'S GOING - TO BE CRAZY ENOUGH 110 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,433 TO USE THAT JUNK. 111 00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:47,061 [KIDS CLAMORING] 112 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,543 ALL RIGHT, 113 00:03:48,544 --> 00:03:49,981 TAKE IT EASY, EVERYONE. 114 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:51,462 THERE'S PLENTY OF HAIR 115 00:03:51,463 --> 00:03:52,900 TO GO AROUND. 116 00:03:58,906 --> 00:03:59,907 [KIDS, AWESTRUCK]: WHOO! 117 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,079 [KIDS]: AHH! 118 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,249 DERBY! 119 00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:12,483 I HEARD ABOUT YOUR LITTLE 120 00:04:12,484 --> 00:04:14,130 "SCIENCE EXPERIMENT." 121 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,257 [QUIETLY] I LOVE YOU. 122 00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:22,888 OKAY... 123 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,036 - WHILE YOU'RE WAITING - FOR AN EMERGENCY RESPONDER 124 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,145 TO ARRIVE, 125 00:04:29,187 --> 00:04:30,413 - IT'S UP TO YOU - TO TREAT THE VICTIM. 126 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,377 IF THEY'RE IN 127 00:04:32,378 --> 00:04:34,316 RESPIRATORY DISTRESS, 128 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:35,317 FIRST MAKE SURE 129 00:04:35,359 --> 00:04:36,461 - YOU DIDN'T JUST TAKE - THEIR BREATH AWAY 130 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,863 AT THE SIGHT OF YOUR GLORIOUS, 131 00:04:38,864 --> 00:04:41,240 GOLDEN MANE. 132 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,325 THEN, TILT THE HEAD BACK 133 00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:45,285 - TO CHECK - FOR ANY AIRWAY OBSTRUCTIONS 134 00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,328 SUCH AS FOOD 135 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,329 OR A SWALLOWED TONGUE. 136 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:50,249 THIS GUY EATS PEOPLE'S TONGUES? 137 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,334 DO WE REALLY WANT TO SAVE 138 00:04:51,335 --> 00:04:52,376 THE LIFE OF A CANNIBAL? 139 00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:56,338 AFTER YOU CHECK FOR A PULSE, 140 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,216 - BEGIN PERFORMING - CHEST COMPRESSIONS, 141 00:04:58,257 --> 00:04:59,926 USING BOTH YOUR BRUSH HAND 142 00:04:59,927 --> 00:05:01,593 AND YOUR BLOW DRYER HAND. 143 00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:07,329 BEGIN PUSHING DOWN RAPIDLY 144 00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:08,767 ABOUT TWO TIMES PER SECOND, 145 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,204 - MAKING SURE TO KEEP - YOUR FLOWING, YOUTHFUL HAIR 146 00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:11,353 OUT OF THE WAY. 147 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:12,146 [DUMMY "DINGS"] 148 00:05:12,188 --> 00:05:13,689 YOU DID IT, MR. TATER. 149 00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:14,815 YOU SAVED HIS LIFE. 150 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:16,358 YOUR TURN. 151 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,317 WHO'D LIKE TO GO FIRST? 152 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,237 I WILL. 153 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,364 NOW, KEEP IN MIND, 154 00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,783 THIS IS A COMPLEX PROCEDURE 155 00:05:23,784 --> 00:05:25,159 I SPENT YEARS MASTERING. 156 00:05:25,201 --> 00:05:26,160 DON'T EXPECT TO... 157 00:05:26,202 --> 00:05:27,369 [DING] 158 00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:28,370 DONE! 159 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:31,373 NO ONE LIKES A SHOWOFF. 160 00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:33,375 - IVY, WHY DON'T YOU - GIVE IT A SHOT? 161 00:05:33,417 --> 00:05:34,773 FIRST, CHECK THE AIRWAY 162 00:05:34,774 --> 00:05:36,128 FOR ANY OBSTRUCTIONS. 163 00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,968 ALL CLEAR. 164 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,611 - NOW, HOLD THIS - WHILE I SAVE HIS LIFE. 165 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,767 THE BELOVED AND 166 00:05:48,768 --> 00:05:50,601 HIGHLY SOUGHT-AFTER RUTABAGA. 167 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:51,727 NORMALLY, 168 00:05:51,728 --> 00:05:52,811 IT TAKES A HUNDRED DAYS 169 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,396 TO GROW THIS WAXY GEM. 170 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:55,856 - BUT I HOPE - TO GET THAT DOWN 171 00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,357 TO A MERE THREE MONTHS. 172 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:02,947 DERBY, YOU'RE LATE. 173 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:03,948 [BELL RINGS] 174 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:06,366 VERY LATE. 175 00:06:08,077 --> 00:06:09,494 MR. TATER TOOK ME TO LUNCH 176 00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,680 - IN THE SECRET - TEACHERS' CAFETERIA. 177 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,727 THERE'S A SECRET 178 00:06:11,728 --> 00:06:12,748 TEACHERS' CAFETERIA? 179 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:13,958 WHY DON'T I KNOW ABOUT IT? 180 00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,435 - TATER DOESN'T THINK - YOU'LL LAST A YEAR, 181 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,419 - SO HE DOESN'T WANT - TO WASTE ANY CAVIAR ON YOU. 182 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:20,422 EXCUSE ME, 183 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,653 IS THIS WHERE I CAN FIND 184 00:06:21,654 --> 00:06:22,841 THE 14-YEAR-OLD GENIUS? 185 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:25,991 WELL, I DON'T LIKE 186 00:06:25,992 --> 00:06:27,096 TO REFER TO MYSELF 187 00:06:27,138 --> 00:06:28,597 AS A GENIUS... 188 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,141 [CHUCKLES] 189 00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,288 ALTHOUGH HUMILITY MAGAZINE 190 00:06:31,289 --> 00:06:32,392 HAD NO TROUBLE. 191 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,105 - TO WHOM SHOULD I - MAKE THIS OUT? 192 00:06:36,147 --> 00:06:37,731 - THE NAME'S - PRESTON PICKLES. 193 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:39,626 - BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED - IN YOUR BABY PICTURES. 194 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:40,735 I WANT TO TALK TO 195 00:06:40,736 --> 00:06:41,819 THE HAIR-GROWING GENIUS, 196 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,028 AND I'M GUESSING 197 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,738 - IT'S THAT GUY - ROCKIN' THE FU MANCHU. 198 00:06:45,823 --> 00:06:46,865 YOU'RE... 199 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,659 PRESTON PICKLES. 200 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,868 LIKE I TOLD THAT GUY. 201 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:50,911 I'M A HUGE FAN 202 00:06:50,912 --> 00:06:51,912 OF YOUR INFOMERCIALS. 203 00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:52,913 WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE? 204 00:06:52,955 --> 00:06:54,581 THE TAN SHAMMY? 205 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,126 HEY, NO... 206 00:06:57,168 --> 00:06:59,295 [GRUNTING IN PROTEST] 207 00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:04,675 THE SPRAY-ON TIE... 208 00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,517 THE HOME LIPOSUCKER... 209 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:15,477 I'M GOOD! 210 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:16,728 TOO BAD. 211 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:17,981 I USE HUMAN FAT 212 00:07:17,982 --> 00:07:19,190 TO POWER MY CAR. 213 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,254 PERSONALLY, 214 00:07:20,255 --> 00:07:21,275 I LOVE YOUR POCKET OVEN. 215 00:07:21,317 --> 00:07:23,443 A CLASSIC. 216 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,155 AH, OH! OOH! 217 00:07:26,197 --> 00:07:27,656 CAJUN CHICKEN FRITTER? 218 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:30,492 AWESOME! 219 00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:31,493 MMM. 220 00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:32,661 BUT NEEDS MUSTARD. 221 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,872 REGULAR OR DIJON? 222 00:07:36,332 --> 00:07:37,875 DIJON, PLEASE. 223 00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:44,820 YOU HAVE MUSTARD 224 00:07:44,821 --> 00:07:45,883 IN YOUR CUFFLINKS? 225 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,718 - THEY'RE CONDIMENT - CUFFLINKS. 226 00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:48,927 DO YOU NOT WATCH TV 227 00:07:48,928 --> 00:07:50,095 AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING? 228 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,681 NO, I SLEEP. 229 00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:54,058 - WHAT A WASTE - OF TIME. 230 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:55,664 I DO ALL MY SLEEPING 231 00:07:55,665 --> 00:07:57,228 WHILE I'M AWAKE. 232 00:07:57,269 --> 00:07:58,603 HOW DO YOU DO THAT? 233 00:08:00,356 --> 00:08:02,149 - SORRY, I MISSED - YOUR QUESTION. 234 00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,775 I WAS ASLEEP. 235 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,320 SO, ARE YOU IN? 236 00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:07,362 IN WHERE? 237 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,283 IN THE MONEY. 238 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,431 WITH YOUR HAIR FORMULA 239 00:08:12,432 --> 00:08:13,535 AND MY MARKETING GENIUS, 240 00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,912 - TOGETHER WE'LL - MAKE MILLIONS! 241 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:15,913 MILLIONS, I TELL YOU! 242 00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:17,331 MILLIONS! 243 00:08:17,373 --> 00:08:18,165 MILLIONS? 244 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,250 MILLIONS... 245 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,376 I TELL YOU, 246 00:08:20,377 --> 00:08:21,460 MILLIONS! 247 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,794 - WHY, YOU'RE GOING - TO BE RICH 248 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:24,588 BEYOND YOUR 249 00:08:24,589 --> 00:08:26,340 WILDEST DREAMS. 250 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,804 YES, I WOULD LIKE EXTRA CHEESE 251 00:08:31,805 --> 00:08:33,889 ON MY PIZZA. 252 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:39,728 I'M IN. 253 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:40,604 - I WANT - TO MAKE MILLIONS! 254 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,606 - MILLIONS, I TELL YOU! - MILLIONS! 255 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:43,357 GREAT! 256 00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,942 SO WE HAVE A DEAL. 257 00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:48,800 DISPOSABLE, GERM-FREE 258 00:08:48,801 --> 00:08:49,988 HAND-SHAKER. 259 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,996 HOW FANTASTIC IS THAT? 260 00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,185 ACTUALLY, IT SEEMS 261 00:08:59,186 --> 00:09:00,332 PRETTY WASTEFUL. 262 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:03,043 NOT THE FAKE HAND, 263 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,044 - THE FACT I'M GOING - TO MAKE MILLIONS! 264 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,879 - MILLIONS, I TELL YOU! - MILLIONS! 265 00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:08,358 - DERBY, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BRING - YOUR HAIR FORMULA TO THE PUBLIC, 266 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,341 YOU NEED TO TEST IT. 267 00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,217 MAKE SURE IT'S SAFE. 268 00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:11,927 - I KNOW WHAT THIS - IS ABOUT. 269 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:12,928 YOU'RE JEALOUS. 270 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:15,347 JEALOUS? OF WHAT? 271 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,662 THAT THERE'S A NEW 272 00:09:16,663 --> 00:09:17,933 GENIUS IN TOWN. 273 00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:19,601 A RICH GENIUS. 274 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,562 EXTRA-CHEESE RICH. 275 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,231 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 276 00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:25,587 I HAVE A BUSINESS EMPIRE 277 00:09:25,588 --> 00:09:26,900 TO RUN. 278 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,119 THAT'S RIGHT. 279 00:09:37,161 --> 00:09:38,266 I SPENT EXTRA 280 00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:39,371 FOR THE BOW-TIE VERSION. 281 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,582 [???] 282 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,837 [???] 283 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,672 - WE'LL SHOOT THE INFOMERCIAL - RIGHT HERE, 284 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,632 WHERE "HAIR TODAY" WAS INVENTED. 285 00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,319 - THAT'S WHAT WE'RE CALLING IT, - "HAIR TODAY!" 286 00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:53,260 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 287 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:54,428 I LOVE IT. 288 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:55,262 - I LOVE IT, I TELL YOU, - I LOVE IT. 289 00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,638 [CHUCKLES] 290 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,680 GET YOUR OWN SCHTICK. 291 00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:00,309 DERBY! 292 00:10:00,351 --> 00:10:01,810 THANK GOODNESS I FOUND YOU. 293 00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:03,479 I NEED MORE HAIR. 294 00:10:03,521 --> 00:10:04,664 - THE STUFF ONLY LASTS - A COUPLE OF DAYS. 295 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,398 OH, I'M SORRY. 296 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,316 DON'T BE SORRY. 297 00:10:07,358 --> 00:10:08,400 BALDIES LIKE THIS 298 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,461 - ARE GOING TO HAVE TO - KEEP SHELLING OUT 299 00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:10,652 FOR MORE HAIR TODAY! 300 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,654 - FORGET WHAT I SAID - ABOUT MILLIONS. 301 00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:14,007 - WE ARE GOING TO - MAKE BILLIONS! 302 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:15,866 - BILLIONS, I TELL YOU, - BILLIONS! 303 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,263 IS THAT WHAT 304 00:10:17,264 --> 00:10:18,618 YOU WANT? MONEY? 305 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:19,537 - BECAUSE - I'VE GOT MONEY. 306 00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:20,454 - NOT A LOT OF IT, - MIND YOU, 307 00:10:20,496 --> 00:10:21,764 - BECAUSE I'M - A HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL 308 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,665 - WHO CAN'T STAY AWAY - FROM THE PONIES, 309 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:25,000 - AND IT COSTS $3 - TO RIDE THEM 310 00:10:25,042 --> 00:10:27,503 AT THE PETTING ZOO. 311 00:10:27,545 --> 00:10:30,172 TOASTY'S MY FAVOURITE. 312 00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:33,029 WELL, I CAN'T REALLY 313 00:10:33,030 --> 00:10:34,676 SPARE ANY RIGHT NOW. 314 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,470 - THAT'S GOOD - THINKING, PARTNER. 315 00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:37,637 HOLD OFF A BIT. 316 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,515 - WE'LL GIVE IT TO HIM - TOMORROW 317 00:10:39,557 --> 00:10:40,474 - DURING - THE INFOMERCIAL. 318 00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:42,351 - HE CAN BE - THE HAIR MODEL. 319 00:10:42,393 --> 00:10:44,728 [GASPS] HAIR MODEL? 320 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:45,770 I DON'T KNOW WHICH WORD 321 00:10:45,771 --> 00:10:46,771 I LIKE MORE... 322 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,731 HAIR... 323 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,649 MODEL. 324 00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,319 HAIR... 325 00:10:53,529 --> 00:10:55,155 ANYWAY, 326 00:10:55,197 --> 00:10:56,114 - WE'RE GOING TO MASS-PRODUCE - "HAIR TODAY" 327 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,429 AT MY FACTORIES 328 00:10:57,430 --> 00:10:58,700 IN TURKMENISTAN. 329 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,702 EXCELLENT WORKFORCE. 330 00:11:00,744 --> 00:11:02,225 EVERYONE THERE, 331 00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:03,705 AN EARLY RISER. 332 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:04,956 - I'LL JUST NEED - THE FORMULA. 333 00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,791 RIGHT! THE FORMULA. 334 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:08,147 WHICH I TOTALLY KNOW, 335 00:11:08,148 --> 00:11:09,461 BECAUSE I INVENTED IT. 336 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,963 ARE YOU OKAY? 337 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,715 YOU'RE SWEATING. 338 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:14,841 I DON'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM. 339 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,718 I FUNNEL ALL MY PERSPIRATION 340 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,440 - THROUGH THE PRESTON PICKLES - PIT FILTER. 341 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:25,603 IT DISTILLS MY SWEAT 342 00:11:25,604 --> 00:11:27,563 INTO FRESH DRINKING WATER. 343 00:11:29,607 --> 00:11:30,815 AAH! 344 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,277 WHERE ARE MY MANNERS? 345 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,112 I'M GOOD. 346 00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:42,744 [CHESTS PUMPING] 347 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,704 [DING, DING] 348 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,082 GREAT WORK, ECHO. 349 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,089 THAT'S RIGHT, EVERYONE. 350 00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:55,153 PUSH DOWN NO MORE 351 00:11:55,154 --> 00:11:56,174 THAN TWO INCHES. 352 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,801 WHAT HAPPENED TO 353 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,824 "MAKE SURE TO KEEP YOUR FLOWING, 354 00:11:59,825 --> 00:12:01,805 YOUTHFUL HAIR OUT OF THE WAY?" 355 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,765 ZIP IT, BLONDIE. 356 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,100 SHOULDN'T YOU FOCUS ON SAVING... 357 00:12:05,142 --> 00:12:06,394 [BEEPING, 358 00:12:06,395 --> 00:12:07,645 [ELECTRONIC TONES SOUNDING] 359 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:08,853 YAY! 360 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,230 WHAT ARE YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT? 361 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:11,272 MY MAKEOVER. 362 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,736 - I FIGURED I'D LEAVE - A GOOD-LOOKING CORPSE, 363 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:17,797 - SINCE THIS DUDE - WAS GOING TO... 364 00:12:17,821 --> 00:12:19,197 [MAKES "GAME OVER" SOUND] 365 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,740 ANYWAY. 366 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,368 LOOK, MR. TATER. 367 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,495 I TAUGHT THE DUMMIES 368 00:12:24,496 --> 00:12:25,579 TO SAVE EACH OTHER. 369 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,748 [DING] 370 00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,167 LOUSY SHOW-OFF. 371 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,006 I KNEW YOU'D BE BACK. 372 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,133 - DO YOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE - FIRST, OR SHOULD YOU? 373 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:39,343 YOU MIGHT AS WELL, 374 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:40,594 BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING 375 00:12:40,595 --> 00:12:41,803 TO APOLOGIZE FOR. 376 00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:42,989 - WHAT ARE YOU - TALKING ABOUT? 377 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,699 - I'M THE ONE - WITH NOTHING TO APOLOGIZE FOR. 378 00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:46,057 I WAS JUST BEING POLITE. 379 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:46,933 THAT'S A GOOD QUALITY. 380 00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,435 I'LL KEEP IT IN MIND 381 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:50,246 - WHEN I'M DECIDING WHETHER OR NOT - TO MAKE YOU MY BUTLER. 382 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,855 - I'M NOT GOING - TO BE YOUR BUTLER! 383 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,190 WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE THE LEGS 384 00:12:53,191 --> 00:12:54,483 TO BE MY MAID. 385 00:12:54,525 --> 00:12:56,193 NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND, 386 00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,194 - I'M GOING TO WHIP UP - ANOTHER BATCH 387 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,778 OF MY HAIR FORMULA. 388 00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,155 OH, BE MY GUEST. 389 00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:02,258 - MEANWHILE, I'M GOING - TO RECORD MY RUTABAGA FINDINGS 390 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,701 IN A JOURNAL, 391 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:04,885 - COMPARING THEM TO THE DATA - I'VE COMPILED 392 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:05,994 FROM PAST RUTABAGAS, 393 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,872 THE WAY SCIENTISTS DO IT. 394 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:09,831 NOT LISTENING. 395 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,375 TOO BUSY MAKING MY FORMULA 396 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:13,210 - BY INSTINCT - AND VAGUE MEMORIES, 397 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:16,087 THE WAY GENIUSES DO IT. 398 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,941 - YOU DON'T REMEMBER - HOW TO MAKE IT, DO YOU? 399 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,384 OF COURSE I DO. 400 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,466 - IT'S JUST A LITTLE OF THIS - AND A LITTLE OF THAT. 401 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:24,928 ALL RIGHT... 402 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,810 LET'S SEE 403 00:13:29,811 --> 00:13:31,311 IF THIS STUFF WORKS. 404 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,108 DARN. 405 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,831 - IT HAD NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER - ON MY HAND. 406 00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,237 OW! 407 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,949 OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! 408 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:50,664 OH, WHOA, WHOA! 409 00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:52,207 NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE! 410 00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:53,833 THAT TICKLES! 411 00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,628 SO... DID IT WORK? 412 00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:57,838 HEY, THAT'S 413 00:13:57,839 --> 00:13:59,005 INAPPROPRIATE! 414 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:02,842 [DING] 415 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,782 OKAY, EVERYONE IN THIS CLASS 416 00:14:04,783 --> 00:14:06,680 HAS SUCCESSFULLY SAVED A LIFE. 417 00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:08,390 [CHEERING] 418 00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:09,767 AND BY EVERYONE, 419 00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:10,768 I MEAN EVERYONE 420 00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,811 EXCEPT IVY. 421 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,772 - IT FEELS GOOD - TO BE NOTICED. 422 00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,608 COME ON, IVY. 423 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:18,734 IF YOU WANT TO PASS, 424 00:14:18,776 --> 00:14:19,798 JUST SAVE 425 00:14:19,799 --> 00:14:20,819 ONE LOUSY DUMMY. 426 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,821 HECK, JUST LEAN OVER IT 427 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,052 AND MAKE A CONVINCING 428 00:14:24,053 --> 00:14:25,240 "DING" SOUND. 429 00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,658 NO! 430 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:27,659 YOU NEED TO DO THIS, 431 00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:28,786 BECAUSE SOMEDAY, 432 00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,245 YOU MIGHT SAVE THE LIFE 433 00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:32,167 - OF A PERSON WHO GOES ON - TO CURE A DISEASE... 434 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,978 OR DISCOVERS LIFE 435 00:14:33,979 --> 00:14:35,083 ON OTHER PLANETS... 436 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,420 - OR OPENS THE WORLD'S - BIGGEST MALL? 437 00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:41,131 I CAN DO THIS! 438 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:44,447 COME ON, DUMMY! 439 00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:45,927 STAY WITH ME! 440 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:48,388 [DUMMY BEEPING] 441 00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:49,222 OH, NO, YOU DON'T! 442 00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:51,038 DON'T! YOU! DIE! 443 00:14:51,039 --> 00:14:52,810 ON! ME! 444 00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:54,186 I THINK SHE'S GOING 445 00:14:54,187 --> 00:14:55,520 TO DO IT! 446 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,948 THE HORROR. 447 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,117 THE HORROR. 448 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:12,454 DING? 449 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:15,457 WELL, LET'S SEE 450 00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:17,876 IF THE 33rd TIME'S THE CHARM. 451 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:24,048 DELICIOUS ICE CREAM? 452 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,175 DANG IT! 453 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,262 OOPS. 454 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,976 HA HA! I'VE DONE IT! 455 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,561 - NOW I CAN BECOME - OBSCENELY WEALTHY, 456 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,979 - BUY A SOLID GOLD - TOILET, 457 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,126 SOLID GOLD 458 00:15:39,127 --> 00:15:40,231 TOILET PAPER, 459 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,463 AND A SOLID GOLD 460 00:15:41,464 --> 00:15:42,651 PLUNGER, 461 00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:43,943 - BECAUSE I'M NOT - TOO SURE 462 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,004 - THE SOLID GOLD - TOILET PAPER 463 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,988 - IS GOING TO FLUSH - TOO EASILY. 464 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,406 - BUT I'M GOING - TO DO IT ANYWAY. 465 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,533 YEAH! 466 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:51,368 HOO-HOO! 467 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,744 - NOTHING CAN - STOP ME NOW! 468 00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:54,830 [CRASHING] 469 00:15:54,872 --> 00:15:56,748 - OKAY, WHO PUT - THOSE LOCKERS THERE? 470 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,002 [???] 471 00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:02,671 - SO ARE WE - HANDING OUT WATER 472 00:16:02,713 --> 00:16:03,797 - TO THE WHOLE - AUDIENCE? 473 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:04,964 NO. 474 00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,025 - IT'S JUST THAT I GET - KIND OF NERVOUS 475 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:07,967 - BEFORE - AN INFOMERCIAL SHOOT. 476 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,137 UGH. GARLICKY. 477 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,994 SORRY, I HAD 478 00:16:12,995 --> 00:16:14,808 SHAWARMA FOR LUNCH. 479 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:15,975 IF YOU'RE HUNGRY, 480 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,337 - THE LEFTOVERS - ARE IN THE OVEN. 481 00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:21,022 NEW SHIRT? 482 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:22,399 YEP. MR. TATER 483 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,734 BOUGHT IT FOR ME. 484 00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:28,029 - DID SHE LOOK ME - IN THE EYE? 485 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:29,614 - DID SHE LOOK ME - IN THE EYE? 486 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:34,369 [???] 487 00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,666 WHAT'S THE ONE THING 488 00:16:39,667 --> 00:16:41,042 WE ALL WISH WE HAD MORE OF? 489 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,252 MONEY? 490 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,045 FAME? 491 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,714 - PARENTS - WHO AREN'T ASHAMED OF YOU 492 00:16:45,756 --> 00:16:46,903 AND CHANGE THEIR LAST NAME 493 00:16:46,904 --> 00:16:48,049 TO PICKFORD? 494 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,634 NO. 495 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:50,865 WELL, THE ANSWER, OF COURSE, 496 00:16:50,866 --> 00:16:52,053 IS HAIR! 497 00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,781 - WELL, NOW YOU CAN HAVE - AS MUCH AS YOU WANT 498 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,807 THANKS TO HAIR TODAY, 499 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:56,893 THE ONLY PRODUCT 500 00:16:56,894 --> 00:16:57,935 SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN 501 00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,770 TO INSTANTLY GROW HAIR. 502 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,042 SCIENTIFICALLY 503 00:17:01,043 --> 00:17:02,272 PROVEN? HA! 504 00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,565 I SEE WE HAVE SOME NAYSAYERS 505 00:17:03,566 --> 00:17:04,816 IN THE AUDIENCE. 506 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,377 - WHY, I BET - YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE LUDDITES 507 00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:07,715 WHO DOESN'T DRINK 508 00:17:07,716 --> 00:17:09,028 HIS OWN SWEAT. 509 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:10,071 NOW, THEN, 510 00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:11,198 LET'S GET READY TO MEET 511 00:17:11,199 --> 00:17:12,282 THE YOUNG GENIUS 512 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,075 BEHIND HAIR TODAY. 513 00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:16,828 [???] 514 00:17:20,791 --> 00:17:22,105 DERBY, YOUR PRODUCT 515 00:17:22,106 --> 00:17:23,418 IS THE GREATEST INVENTION 516 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:24,836 SINCE SLICED BREAD... 517 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,755 - NEXT TO MY SINGLE-SLICE - BREAD MAKER, 518 00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:27,819 WHICH ELIMINATES 519 00:17:27,820 --> 00:17:28,840 THE PAINSTAKING TASK 520 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,050 OF SLICING BREAD. 521 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,177 COULD YOU GIVE US 522 00:17:32,178 --> 00:17:33,261 A DEMONSTRATION 523 00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:34,262 OF HAIR TODAY? 524 00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:35,806 - I'D BE HAPPY TO, - PRESTON. 525 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:36,995 I JUST NEED A VOLUNTEER 526 00:17:36,996 --> 00:17:38,141 FROM THE AUDIENCE. 527 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,267 WELL, THEN, LET'S SEE... 528 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,894 - HOW ABOUT YOU, - SIR? 529 00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:42,020 ME? 530 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,459 BUT I AM JUST A RANDOM 531 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:44,856 AUDIENCE MEMBER. 532 00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:48,464 NOW, TAKE A LOOK 533 00:17:48,465 --> 00:17:50,111 AT THIS POOR SLOB. 534 00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,905 I KNOW, IT'S NOT EASY, 535 00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:54,033 GIVEN HOW HIS REPUGNANT BALDNESS 536 00:17:54,034 --> 00:17:56,117 MUST MAKE YOUR STOMACHS TURN. 537 00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:57,887 - CAN WE JUST GET TO THE - "GIVING ME HAIR" PART? 538 00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,245 ABSOLUTELY! 539 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,831 AND WHO COULD BLAME YOU 540 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,475 - FOR WANTING TO PUT AN END - TO YOUR BALDY BALDNESS, 541 00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,042 BALDY? 542 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,255 - I JUST - RUB IT IN AND... 543 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,757 HAIR TODAY 544 00:18:10,758 --> 00:18:12,216 INSTANTLY GROWS HAIR. 545 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,845 ["OOHING" FROM AUDIENCE] 546 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,557 SHOULDN'T IT STOP GROWING? 547 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,977 LOOKIT! 548 00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:24,354 [SCREAMS] 549 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,607 WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME? 550 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,567 - YEAH, DERBY, - WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HIM? 551 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,152 HE'S... 552 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,546 - GETTING MUCH MORE - THAN YOU'D EXPECT 553 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:35,448 FOR $19.95! 554 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:37,826 I'M GOING TO CATCH YOU, DERBY. 555 00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:38,869 I CAN'T SEE YOU, 556 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:39,953 BUT KEEP TALKING. 557 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:41,556 - I'LL FOLLOW - THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE. 558 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,959 A-HA! GOT YOU! 559 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,126 [SHRIEKING] 560 00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,737 SOMEBODY! 561 00:18:52,738 --> 00:18:54,467 PASS ME A SCRUNCHIE! 562 00:18:54,509 --> 00:18:56,177 - THIS IS NOT - THE SUDDEN HAIR GROWTH 563 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:58,513 I EXPECTED IN MY TEEN YEARS. 564 00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,264 DERBY? 565 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,599 DERBY? 566 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,518 - THIS IS THE WORST - PRODUCTION OF HAIR 567 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,062 I'VE EVER SEEN. 568 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,231 - OW! - HEY! 569 00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:09,232 WATCH IT! 570 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:11,335 - YOU CAN SPIN THIS INTO SOMETHING - POSITIVE, RIGHT? 571 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,820 NO. YOU'RE A NITWIT! 572 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,279 - A NITWIT, I TELL YOU. - A NITWIT! 573 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,491 - THAT'S BEGINNING - TO LOSE ITS CHARM. 574 00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:20,618 OH, THIS IS BAD! 575 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,620 - I NEEDED HAIR TODAY - TO BE A BIG SELLER. 576 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,223 - NOW HOW AM I GOING - TO PAY OFF THAT LAWSUIT 577 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:27,584 FOR MY BEEF JERKY PANTS? 578 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:28,668 WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED 579 00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:29,794 THAT ALL THOSE PEOPLE 580 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,088 WOULD HAVE BEEN MAULED 581 00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:32,338 BY WILD ANIMALS? 582 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,465 I'LL BE RUINED! RUINED! 583 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,009 [STARTS CHOKING] 584 00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,554 OH, NO! 585 00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:40,680 I'LL CHECK HIS PULSE. 586 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,956 [ECHO AND TATER]: 587 00:19:45,957 --> 00:19:47,645 DON'T WORRY! I KNOW CPR. 588 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,231 DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT! 589 00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:52,525 UH-OH. 590 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,193 - I THINK RIGOR MORTIS - HAS SET IN. 591 00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:58,281 EVERYONE, STAND BACK! 592 00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,824 I'M TRAINED IN LIFE SAVING! 593 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:00,700 OH, NO! 594 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,452 DON'T TELL THEM I TRAINED YOU. 595 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,333 YOU SAVED MY LIFE. 596 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:10,794 I DID! 597 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,129 I SAVED YOUR LIFE. 598 00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:13,171 CORRECTLY! 599 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,839 DID YOU HEAR THAT, MR. TATER? 600 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:15,840 I PASSED YOUR COURSE. 601 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,425 NO, YOU DIDN'T. 602 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,107 - ONLY COUNTS IF YOU - DO IT ON THE DUMMY. 603 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,679 - OW. - I CAN'T SEE. 604 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,514 - OW. - WATCH IT! 605 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,433 HAD THE RIGHT OF WAY HERE. 606 00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,104 [???] 607 00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:30,480 HEY, ADAM, 608 00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:33,274 I CAME TO... 609 00:20:33,316 --> 00:20:34,651 WHAT'S WITH THE HAIR NET? 610 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:37,070 I'M WORKING WITH FOOD. 611 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,155 I REALIZED SOMETHING 612 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:39,339 - WHILE I WAS WATCHING - YOUR TRAIN WRECK 613 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,240 OF AN INFOMERCIAL. 614 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,283 YEAH, I KNOW. 615 00:20:42,325 --> 00:20:43,201 - I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED - TO YOU, 616 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,261 BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS RIGHT. 617 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,286 I'M NOT ALWAYS RIGHT... 618 00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:46,597 - DESPITE - WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT ME 619 00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:47,956 IN THE JULY ISSUE 620 00:20:47,957 --> 00:20:49,290 OF INFALLIBLE MAGAZINE. 621 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,768 - IF YOU'D LIKE A SIGNED COPY, - I COULD... 622 00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:52,794 NO? THAT'S COOL. 623 00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:55,213 SO, WHAT DID YOU REALIZE? 624 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,066 - THAT ONE OF THE INGREDIENTS - YOU DUMPED IN YOUR FORMULA 625 00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:58,967 WAS CHLOROPHYLL. 626 00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:00,114 THE SUN MUST HAVE TRIGGERED 627 00:21:00,115 --> 00:21:01,219 PHOTOSYNTHESIS, 628 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,617 WHICH CAUSED THE HAIR TO GROW 629 00:21:02,618 --> 00:21:03,972 EXPONENTIALLY. 630 00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:05,306 SO MY PRODUCT WILL ONLY WORK 631 00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:06,659 - FOR PEOPLE - WHO NEVER SEE THE SUN? 632 00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,185 GREAT. 633 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,328 - YOU COULD CORNER - THE MARKET 634 00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:10,478 ON BALDING VAMPIRES. 635 00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:15,276 AND IT MAY NOT BE "MILLIONS, 636 00:21:15,277 --> 00:21:17,694 I TELL YOU, MILLIONS," 637 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:21,322 BUT I THINK YOU'LL LIKE THIS. 638 00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:22,657 AN A? 639 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:24,325 - THE ASSIGNMENT - WAS TO MAKE ICE CREAM, 640 00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:25,845 - AND YOU, MY FRIEND, - MADE ICE CREAM. 641 00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:28,329 I DID, DIDN'T I? 642 00:21:28,371 --> 00:21:30,331 AND I'VE GOT TO SAY, 643 00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:31,332 - BEING - IN THE SCIENTIFIC SPOTLIGHT 644 00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:32,726 - ISN'T ALL - IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE. 645 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:33,835 THE PRESSURES, 646 00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:34,919 THE EXPECTATIONS... 647 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,255 THE FEMALE 648 00:21:36,256 --> 00:21:37,547 SCIENTIST GROUPIES. 649 00:21:38,882 --> 00:21:40,341 I'D HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF 650 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,739 INVENTING A FORMULA 651 00:21:41,740 --> 00:21:43,094 FOR HAIR REMOVAL. 652 00:21:43,136 --> 00:21:44,776 - CARE TO JOIN ME - IN A LITTLE ICE CREAM? 653 00:21:54,689 --> 00:21:55,774 WRONG BAGGIE! 654 00:21:55,775 --> 00:21:56,858 WRONG BAGGIE! 655 00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:59,652 YOU THINK? 656 00:21:59,694 --> 00:22:02,613 [BOTH GAGGING] 657 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:08,286 [???] 658 00:22:08,336 --> 00:22:12,886 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40588

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