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1
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Oh. A newlywed couple
just moved to town.
2
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:53,012
A regular husband and wife.
3
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:58,560
Who left the big city
To find a quiet life.
4
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,309
WandaVision!
5
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:09,607
She's a magical gal
In a small town locale.
6
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:13,275
He's a hubby who's part machine.
7
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:18,617
How will this duo fit in and fulfill all?
8
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:23,924
By sharing a love like you've never seen.
9
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:31,381
WandaVision!
10
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,356
My wife and her flying saucers.
11
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,952
My husband and his indestructible head.
12
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,209
Aren't we a fine pair?
13
00:01:56,241 --> 00:02:01,121
What do you say to silver dollar pancakes,
crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs,
14
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,365
freshly squeezed orange juice,
and black coffee?
15
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,537
I say, "Oh, I don't eat food."
16
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,882
Well, that explains
the empty refrigerator.
17
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:12,380
- Wanda?
- Hmm?
18
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:15,053
Is there something special about today?
19
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,639
Well, I know the apron
is a bit much, dear,
20
00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,971
but I am doing my best to blend in.
21
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:21,387
No, no, there on the calendar.
22
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:25,055
Someone's drawn a little heart
right above today's date.
23
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,073
- Oh, yes, the heart.
- Hmm...
24
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:31,284
Well, don't tell me
you have forgotten, Vis.
25
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,401
"Forgotten"?
26
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:35,046
Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness.
I remember everything.
27
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:38,662
That's not an exaggeration.
In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration.
28
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,702
Well, then tell me what's so important
about today's date.
29
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,040
What was the question again?
30
00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,342
Oh, well,
perhaps, you've forgotten yourself.
31
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,207
Me? Heavens, no.
I've been so looking forward to it.
32
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:53,467
As have I. Today,
we are celebrating...
33
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,379
You bet we are.
34
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,717
- It's the first time we...
- Mmm-hmm.
35
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:01,564
...have ever celebrated
this occasion before.
36
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,230
It's a special day!
37
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,348
- Perhaps an evening...
- Of great significance...
38
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,515
- To us both!
- Naturally.
39
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,063
- Obviously.
- Exactly.
40
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:09,981
Well done, us.
41
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,904
All right.
42
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:14,361
Well, that's me off to work, then.
43
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,112
Oh, don't forget!
44
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,160
I haven't.
45
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,239
Oh!
46
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,123
Have a good day, dear!
47
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,021
Oh!
48
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,855
Hello, dear.
I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right.
49
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,483
My right, not yours.
50
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,488
Forgive me for not stopping by sooner
to welcome you to the block.
51
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,121
My mother-in-law was in town,
so I wasn't.
52
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,828
So, what's your name?
Where are you from?
53
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,461
And most importantly,
how's your bridge game, hon?
54
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,373
I'm Wanda.
55
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,131
Wanda. Charmed.
56
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:15,712
Golly, you settled in fast!
57
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,337
Did you use a moving company?
58
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:21,351
I sure did.
Those boxes don't move themselves.
59
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:26,851
So what's a single gal like you doing
rattling around this big house?
60
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,728
Oh, no, I'm not single.
Oh, I don't see a ring.
61
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,151
Well, I assure you I'm married.
62
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,694
To a man.
A human one and tall.
63
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:38,195
As a matter of fact, he'll be home
later tonight for a special occasion.
64
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,858
Just the two of us. Oh,
is it somebody's birthday?
65
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,528
Not a birthday.
66
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,276
Well, today isn't a holiday, is it?
67
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:48,207
No, it's not a holiday.
An anniversary then?
68
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,383
Ye... Yes! Yes!
It's our anniversary!
69
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:56,375
Oh, how marvelous!
How many years?
70
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,594
Well, it feels like
we've always been together.
71
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,085
Lucky gal.
72
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:04,047
The only way
Ralph would remember our anniversary
73
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,267
is if there was a beer named June 2nd.
74
00:05:07,558 --> 00:05:10,058
- So, what do you have planned?
- How do you mean?
75
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,693
For your special night.
76
00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,651
A young thing like you
doesn't have to do much,
77
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,033
but it's still fun to set the scene.
78
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:21,778
Say, I was just reading
a crackerjack magazine article
79
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:25,914
called "How To Treat Your Husband
To Keep Your Husband,"
80
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,583
and let me tell you,
what Ralph could really use
81
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,422
is, "How To Goose Your Wife
So You Don't Lose Your Wife."
82
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:37,209
Hang on. I'll go grab it
and we can start planning.
83
00:05:37,296 --> 00:05:39,626
Oh, this is gonna be a gas!
84
00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:43,593
Oh...
85
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:49,184
Or you
don't go out Friday night Yakety yak!
86
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:52,348
You just put on your coat and hat.
87
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:57,768
Here are those computational forms
that you requested, Norm.
88
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,525
There you go.
89
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,607
Gee willikers, that was fast!
90
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,565
Hey, the music
isn't bothering you, is it, pal?
91
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,197
In terms of distraction from work,
92
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,624
or the largely nonsensical
nature of the lyrics?
93
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,289
- The first one.
- Ah, no, thank you, Norm.
94
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,093
Hey, is there somethin'
I can help you with, buddy?
95
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,461
Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.
96
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:24,716
Would you be so good as to tell me
what it is we do here exactly?
97
00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,179
Do we make something?
98
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,562
- No.
- Right.
99
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,059
Do we buy or sell something?
100
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,351
No and no.
101
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,734
Then what is the purpose of this company?
102
00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:39,402
All I know is, since you've gotten here,
productivity has gone up 300%.
103
00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,735
Yes, but what is it we're producing?
104
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,198
Computational forms.
105
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:45,698
And no one can process the data
quite like you do, pal.
106
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,491
You're like a walking computer.
107
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,624
What? I most certainly am not.
108
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:52,791
I'm a regular carbon-based employee
made entirely of organic matter,
109
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,831
much like yourself, Norm.
110
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,745
Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled?
111
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,842
Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge.
112
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,921
You see, it appears
there's something special about today,
113
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,627
special to Wanda, that's my wife,
114
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,677
and gee, I can't, for the life of me,
recall what it is.
115
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,635
Mmm... Oh!
116
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:14,849
Good to see you.
117
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:16,654
- Vision.
- Yes?
118
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,688
Wife and I
are looking forward to this evening.
119
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:21,775
Mr. Hart. Of course!
120
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:25,197
Dinner with Mr. Hart
and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
121
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:27,029
That's what I said.
What's wrong with you?
122
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:30,414
- Have you got a screw loose?
- Oh, no, sir. Screws all tightened, sir.
123
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:32,042
Yes, I should hope so.
124
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:34,078
Employee dinners
are a rite of passage
125
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,542
- for the new hires.
- Ah.
126
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,422
Jones over there failed miserably.
127
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:38,749
Isn't that right, Jones?
128
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,416
The wife thought
five courses would be sufficient.
129
00:07:42,254 --> 00:07:44,384
And there was that paltry excuse
for entertainment.
130
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:46,467
A string quartet?
131
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:50,260
And then you had that embarrassing display
of beatnik enthusiasm.
132
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,715
I wore a turtleneck.
133
00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:55,853
Yes. Best of luck out there
in the unemployment line, Jones.
134
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,734
You know, I owe my success
to being a keen judge of character.
135
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:02,190
No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision?
136
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,110
I don't have a skeleton, sir.
137
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:09,276
Glad to hear it.
Your future in this company depends on it.
138
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,819
And you don't have a song?
139
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,751
Nothing special you played
at your wedding?
140
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,043
No, nothing special.
141
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,253
I'll just loan you some records then.
142
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:28,384
So, we've got music covered,
decor, wardrobe. Oh!
143
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,797
What about seduction techniques?
144
00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:32,853
Oh, I have those.
145
00:08:32,930 --> 00:08:34,810
Of course, you do.
146
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,979
Just out of curiosity, what does it say?
147
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:42,610
That you should stumble when
you walk into a room so he can catch you.
148
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,073
It's romantic.
149
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,729
Any other tricks?
150
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,777
You could point out that the death rate of
single men is twice that of married men.
151
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:54,576
Now, that's romantic.
152
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,200
Oh!
153
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,384
Vision residence.
154
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,498
- Wanda, darling.
- Vision, sweetheart.
155
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,665
Listen, about tonight...
156
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:08,133
Don't worry, dear.
I have everything under control.
157
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,675
Oh, well, that is a relief.
158
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,258
I must confess, I'm really rather nervous.
159
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,425
"Nervous"? Whatever for?
160
00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:17,023
Well, you know, darling,
I still get a little tongue-tied.
161
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:21,688
Vis, after all this time...
162
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,770
There's an awful lot
riding on this one, Wanda.
163
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:28,645
If tonight doesn't go just so,
I think this could be the end.
164
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,910
Well, it's just one night.
There's no need to get dramatic.
165
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,830
Look, I think the best course of action
is to impress the wife.
166
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:39,999
And I think the best course of action
is to impress the husband.
167
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,121
Well, wonderful!
168
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,037
Glad to know we're both on the same page.
169
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,626
Until tonight, then, my, darling.
170
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:46,921
Until tonight.
171
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:48,798
Oh...
172
00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:57,348
Is your husband tired of you
burning his toast?
173
00:09:59,224 --> 00:10:01,644
Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000.
174
00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,306
It's the go-to for clever housewives.
175
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,686
Say, this machine has some shine.
176
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,904
You said it.
177
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:12,074
Set the dial
and get the taste back into your toast.
178
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:20,287
Top and bottom heating elements
can handle anything
179
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:24,540
from meatloaf, to cherry pie,
to open-faced cheese sandwiches.
180
00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:37,509
The all new ToastMate 2000
by Stark Industries.
181
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,516
Forget the past.
This is your future.
182
00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,439
Here we are!
183
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:48,856
Oh!
184
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:51,943
How very atmospheric!
185
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,527
What's going on here, Vision?
You blow a fuse?
186
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:58,333
Pardon me while I just go and fetch
the lady of the house.
187
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:05,745
Guess who?
188
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:07,542
Wanda!
189
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,168
Vision.
190
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,593
Oh! Oh!
191
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,211
Ah...
192
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:13,627
What is the meaning of this?
193
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,835
Well, what is...
194
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:17,256
Yeah, what is the meaning of...
195
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,394
Oh, the meaning of it!
196
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,810
You want to know the meaning of it
and the meaning of it
197
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:26,309
is that this is the traditional
Sokovian greeting of hospitality.
198
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,189
- Guess who?
- Is that my host behind me?
199
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:30,403
It certainly is.
200
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:32,862
- Lovely to make your acquaintance.
- Yes!
201
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,363
See, I forgot to tell you
my wife is from Europe.
202
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,236
Oh, how exotic!
203
00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,163
We don't break bread with Bolsheviks.
204
00:11:40,242 --> 00:11:41,662
Oh, hush, Arthur!
205
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:44,293
Have you no culture at all?
206
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,501
And that dress!
207
00:11:45,581 --> 00:11:50,421
Yes! It's... It's so...
Sokovian, is what it is! Yes!
208
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,379
Can I just see you in the kitchen
for a moment, sweetheart?
209
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,474
Oh, yes!
210
00:11:58,093 --> 00:11:59,973
- Who are those people?
- What are you wearing?
211
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,013
- Why are they here?
- What are you wearing?
212
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,427
Well, it's our anniversary!
213
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:04,765
Our anniversary of what?
214
00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:07,270
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you!
215
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,398
That... That man through there
is my boss, Mr. Hart!
216
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,231
And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart!
217
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:16,067
The heart on the calendar
was an abbreviation!
218
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:19,323
You move at the speed of sound and I can
make a pen float through the air.
219
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,816
Who needs to abbreviate?
220
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,948
Darling, listen, it's all romantic
to do the candles, the music,
221
00:12:24,036 --> 00:12:25,866
- that stunning outfit...
- Well...
222
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,254
I don't wanna be unappreciative,
but right now...
223
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,752
Your boss and his wife
are expecting a home-cooked meal.
224
00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:31,844
Exactly.
225
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:33,960
Any chance they'd settle
226
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,666
for a single chocolate-covered strawberry
split three ways?
227
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:39,591
Uh... I might
have a better idea.
228
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,312
Hmm.
229
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:47,305
So I said, "If we orient the forms
horizontally rather than vertically",
230
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:51,193
"we can use twice the paper,
we can bill twice the cost."
231
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,653
You truly are a pioneer!
232
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:57,363
But the larger purpose of the forms is...
233
00:12:57,486 --> 00:13:00,414
Was to analyze our
input and our output. Huh.
234
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,238
You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision?
235
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:07,699
Oh, Agnes!
You're a life-saver!
236
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,328
What kind of housewife would I be
237
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:12,714
if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four
just lying about the place?
238
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:13,793
Well...
239
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,417
Not that Ralph ever wants to eat
anything but baked beans
240
00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:19,415
which explains a lot
about his personal appeal, mind you.
241
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,802
- Oh, my!
- Oh! Oh!
242
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,845
Do you think Wanda needs help
in the kitchen?
243
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,639
We haven't any tidbits
or tartlets out here,
244
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,143
nary a pig in a blanket.
No, that...
245
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:31,638
No, that's so kind of you, Mrs. Hart.
246
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,857
But I'm sure
she's absolutely fine in there!
247
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,319
Oh, thank you, Agnes.
I think I've got it covered from here.
248
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:37,639
- Oh, are you sure, dear?
- Hmm.
249
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,901
Many hands make light work.
And many mouths make good gossip.
250
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,408
You're so naughty!
251
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,409
Oh, shall I just pre-heat
the oven then, dear?
252
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:46,831
- That won't be necessary.
- Oh, All right, then.
253
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,830
Well, I know you're in a pinch
so this menu can be done in a snap.
254
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:52,623
Lobster Thermidor with
mini-minced meat turnovers to start.
255
00:13:52,708 --> 00:13:55,748
Chicken à la King with twice-cooked
new potatoes for your second course,
256
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,206
and Steak Diane and mint jellies
for your main.
257
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,512
Do you set your own jellies, dear?
258
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,591
- Yes.
- Good girl.
259
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,676
Recipe cards are on the counter there.
260
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,011
Bon appétit!
261
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:07,506
Oh!
262
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,023
Oh, oh.
263
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,152
You men stay put.
264
00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,608
- I sense a domestic emergency, so...
- Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't.
265
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,530
You... Please...
266
00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:22,649
Yeah, take out the papers and the trash.
267
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:25,068
Or you won't get no spending cash.
268
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,871
If you don't scrub the kitchen floor.
269
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,828
You ain't gonna rock and roll no more.
270
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:33,794
Yakety yak!
Don't talk back.
271
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:42,514
Well, why don't we have a nice
sing-a-long, all together then, shall we?
272
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,047
Oh, no, too much!
273
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,140
Oh, no, not enough!
274
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,478
Old MacDonald had a farm.
275
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,312
Ee-I-Ee-I-O.
276
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,397
And on that farm he had a...
277
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,818
had a...
278
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:04,445
Pig.
279
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:06,070
Ee-I-Ee-I-O.
280
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,196
- With a...
- Oink, oink...
281
00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:08,355
- Here and a...
- Oink, oink...
282
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:09,947
- There.
- Here an oink, there an oink.
283
00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,115
Everywhere an oink, oink.
284
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,333
Old MacDonald had a farm.
285
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,923
Ee-I-Ee-I-O.
286
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:17,739
Oh, what was I supposed to do next?
Oh, what was the main course again?
287
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,291
It was... Steak...
288
00:15:19,378 --> 00:15:20,748
No. Steak...
289
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:22,588
Steak... Diane!
290
00:15:22,673 --> 00:15:23,723
Yes?
291
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,140
Oh, I think that must be
my wife summoning me.
292
00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:29,298
She calls you "Diane?"
293
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:33,055
Yes, it's her pet name for me.
294
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:37,233
I'm just coming, Fred.
295
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:40,194
Excuse me a moment.
296
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:45,239
Oh, no.
297
00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:48,324
How can I be of assistance?
298
00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:51,907
Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken
and the lobsters just flew the coop
299
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,624
so the steak is the last man standing.
300
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,291
It says here I can cut down the prep time
with a meat tenderizer.
301
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,544
Excellent plan.
Where's the tenderizer?
302
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,460
- I'm looking at him.
- Ah. Hoo-hoo in there!
303
00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,336
Hoo-hoo back to you!
304
00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,840
Okay.
305
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:09,644
Finish the meat, find the lobsters.
I'll be right back.
306
00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,889
I hope you're hungry.
Starved, is more like it.
307
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,394
My head is starting to feel woozy.
308
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,444
Were either of you aware
309
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,862
that married men are killing single men
at an alarming rate?
310
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,606
What are you going on about?
311
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,905
And what's going on in there?
312
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,528
Whoo-hoo! Ho-ho!
313
00:16:33,327 --> 00:16:34,367
Who could that be?
314
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,213
Coming!
315
00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,211
Oh, you didn't answer the back door.
316
00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:40,921
For your upside-down cake.
317
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,921
Oh! Hi, I...
318
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,003
Who was that?
319
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,587
- A salesman!
- Telegram!
320
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,472
A man selling telegrams.
321
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,639
Wouldn't you know it.
Good news is more expensive.
322
00:16:50,511 --> 00:16:53,681
I couldn't find the lobsters and did you
want the meat tender or pulverized?
323
00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:54,934
Oh, dear.
324
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,600
Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly.
325
00:17:00,312 --> 00:17:02,522
Anyone for Parcheesi?
326
00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:05,568
- My head is spinning.
- Oh, Mrs. Hart...
327
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:08,029
Did you hear that?
My wife's head is spinning.
328
00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:10,321
Generally speaking,
I don't like her head to do that.
329
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:13,744
Time to improvise.
330
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:18,405
You know, I'm beginning to think
you're not management material, Vision.
331
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:20,117
You know,
I had high hopes for you.
332
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:23,837
But from what I've seen here tonight,
you can barely keep it together.
333
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,919
I mean, look around. There's all this
chaos going on in your household.
334
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:29,383
Now, when are we gonna eat?
335
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,046
Dinner is served.
336
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,427
Ah!
337
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,270
Breakfast for dinner?
338
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,191
How very... European.
339
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,520
Ooh! Let's have a toast!
340
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:47,484
To my lovely and talented wife.
341
00:17:47,609 --> 00:17:49,859
To our esteemed guests.
342
00:17:49,945 --> 00:17:51,315
Yes. Cin cin.
343
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,405
Cheers.
344
00:17:54,783 --> 00:17:56,543
Well, please eat before it gets cold.
345
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,498
- Hmm?
- Oh, Mrs. Hart, allow me.
346
00:18:00,038 --> 00:18:02,418
So, where did you two move from?
347
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:04,131
What brought you here?
348
00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:07,499
How long have you been married?
And why don't you have children yet?
349
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:16,716
I think what my wife means to say
is that we moved from...
350
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,515
Yes, we moved from...
351
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:21,443
And we were married...
352
00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:24,228
Yes, yes, we were married in...
353
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:28,358
Well? Moved from where?
Married when?
354
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:29,483
Now, patience, Arthur.
355
00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:31,778
They're setting up their story.
Let them tell it.
356
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:35,237
We... Our story...
357
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,581
Yes, what exactly is your story?
358
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,540
Oh, just leave the poor kids alone.
359
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:44,036
No, really, I mean,
I think it's a perfectly simple question.
360
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,961
Honestly.
361
00:18:46,043 --> 00:18:47,253
Why did you come here?
362
00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:49,964
Why?
363
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:53,545
Damn it, why?
Why did you...
364
00:18:58,472 --> 00:18:59,972
Oh, Arthur, stop it.
365
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,345
Stop it.
366
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,226
Stop it.
367
00:19:09,233 --> 00:19:12,323
Stop it. Stop it.
368
00:19:13,779 --> 00:19:15,739
Stop it.
369
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,202
Stop it.
370
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:21,252
Stop it.
371
00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,537
Stop it. Stop it.
372
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:26,674
Stop it.
373
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:28,835
Stop it.
374
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:29,959
Vision, help him.
375
00:19:44,977 --> 00:19:45,977
Let me help you up.
376
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,478
Give me your hand.
377
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,571
All right, steady on, sir.
378
00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:58,239
Well, would you look
at the time?
379
00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:00,775
Yes. We'd better be going.
380
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,160
Well... Are you both all right?
381
00:20:04,663 --> 00:20:07,333
We had such a lovely time.
382
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,090
This guest is leaving your home.
383
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,924
Yes, thank you for coming.
384
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,552
You made me proud tonight, son.
385
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:21,425
First thing Monday morning,
you and me are gonna have a little chat.
386
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,639
We'll see about that promotion.
387
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:25,885
Yes, sir!
Thank you, sir!
388
00:20:28,562 --> 00:20:29,562
Thank you.
389
00:20:33,192 --> 00:20:34,322
Oh...
390
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,907
What a charming door knocker.
391
00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,448
Good night!
392
00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:53,957
We are an unusual couple, ya know?
393
00:20:54,046 --> 00:20:55,916
Oh, I don't think
that was ever in question.
394
00:20:56,423 --> 00:21:00,763
Well, what I mean is...
We don't have an anniversary.
395
00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,554
- Huh.
- Or a song.
396
00:21:03,222 --> 00:21:06,135
Or even wedding rings.
Well, we could remedy that.
397
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:08,308
Today could be our anniversary.
398
00:21:08,393 --> 00:21:10,983
Of what? Surviving our first dinner party?
399
00:21:11,063 --> 00:21:13,523
Precisely. And our song could be?
400
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:14,897
Yakety Yak, naturally.
401
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:15,983
- Naturally.
- Hmm.
402
00:21:17,653 --> 00:21:18,653
And the rings?
403
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,530
Well, couldn't you make some for us?
404
00:21:29,706 --> 00:21:30,706
I do.
405
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:32,792
Do you?
406
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,212
Yes. I do.
407
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:39,876
And they lived happily ever after.
30528
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