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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:15,177
- Hey, Ron, you need any help?
3
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:17,183
- Oh, I don't think so.
4
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:18,475
I already bought the ice cream,
5
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,058
and I certainly
don't need help eating it.
6
00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,403
[both chuckling]
7
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,768
- I was, uh--
I was talking about all this.
8
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,225
- Oh, that.
9
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,855
Judy needed more space
for Rick's Bowflex,
10
00:00:27,902 --> 00:00:29,362
so we agreed to kick me out.
11
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:30,574
It's for the best.
12
00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:32,323
I mean,
you can't beat the commute.
13
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,615
[chuckling]
- Wait. You're living here?
14
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,250
- What? No.
15
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,537
That'd be against the law.
16
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,081
And you would tell, right?
17
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,375
- Let's pre-game at my place
before the ice cream social.
18
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,799
Aisha, are you in?
19
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,507
- Hell, yeah!
Wouldn't miss it, girl!
20
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,588
- Oh, Yasmin,
we should go to bio.
21
00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:53,223
We're dissecting frogs,
and I'm gonna faint.
22
00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:54,431
[bell rings]
23
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,511
- Bye! See you at the pre-game!
24
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,926
- [imitating Aisha] Hell, yeah.
Wouldn't miss it girl.
25
00:00:57,974 --> 00:00:59,524
[giggles]
26
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,059
- So what if I'm excited
to go to the ice cream social?
27
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:03,483
If you think it's lame,
don't go.
28
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:05,611
- I have to go
'cause of student council.
29
00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:07,938
You think I want to spend
my Friday night at school
30
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:09,404
scooping ice cream?
31
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,994
No, I want to try the new
decaffeinated tea I just got
32
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,450
and fall asleep reading.
33
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,620
- You are so judgmental
about Bayside.
34
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:17,158
- [scoffs]
No, I'm not!
35
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:20,292
There's plenty of Bayside stuff
I'm not judgmental about.
36
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:23,420
- Like what?
37
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,088
- These floors are clean.
38
00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:27,206
- Mm.
39
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,133
- I guess the person of color
they underpaid to clean them
40
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,722
did a great job.
- See?
41
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:34,137
Yo, if you could make it one
week without hating on Bayside,
42
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,347
I'll give you 50 bucks.
43
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:37,888
Ooh, I've been hanging out
with too many rich kids.
44
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:38,971
I'll give you 50 cents.
45
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:40,095
- Deal.
- Deal.
46
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,391
- Hey, ladies,
47
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,484
I just met the hottest girl.
48
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,480
Her name's Pamela,
and she's a perfect ten.
49
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,983
I mean, blonde hair,
gorgeous smile,
50
00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:50,645
and she just had
really bad mono,
51
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,654
so you know she does tongues.
- Mm.
52
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:53,986
Wow, what do you think
about that, Daisy?
53
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:56,910
- Yeah.
54
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,910
- I think it's cool.
55
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,371
Congratulations
on your new love.
56
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:01,501
- Guys, I just met
the girl of my dreams.
57
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:04,498
Blonde hair, killer smile,
recently sick.
58
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,291
[record scratches]
- It's the same girl.
59
00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:07,844
- Wait, yo, J-Dog.
60
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,497
You also met a hot blonde
this morning?
61
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,666
- That's right.
- Do you think--
62
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,876
both: We should both ask
our separate girls
63
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:16,846
to the ice cream social
Friday night?
64
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:19,426
- Yeah!
- Yes!
65
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,222
[bell rings]
66
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:22,846
* When I wake upin the mornin' *
67
00:02:22,892 --> 00:02:24,602
* Alarm gives out a warnin' *
68
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,024
* I don't think I'll evermake it on time *
69
00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:28,693
* By the timeI grab my books *
70
00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,072
* And I give myself a look *
71
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:33,568
* I'm at the corner,just in time *
72
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,071
* It's all right,it's all right *
73
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:37,374
* Saved by the bell *
74
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,367
* It's all right,it's all right *
75
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,949
* Saved by the bell *
76
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,414
* It's all right *
77
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:47,455
* 'Cause I'm savedby the bell *
78
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,500
[bell rings]
79
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:52,924
[indistinct chatter]
80
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,638
- Hey, buddy!
Free seat over here.
81
00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,216
Let's do our secret handshake.
82
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,973
- We don't have a secret--
- * Whatever you do is right *
83
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,305
* Whenever you stop,
it's done *
84
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,640
That was horrible.
85
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,944
- [clears throat]
Hello.
86
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:10,693
Oh, my God!
Okay. Don't look now.
87
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,442
My dream girl just walked in.
88
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,445
[light music]
89
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,237
- Whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait.
90
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,530
My dream girl just walked in.
91
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,914
- Yours?
- Uh-huh.
92
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,410
- You know what this means?
[record scratches]
93
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:23,752
- Thank God.
94
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,117
both: Our future girlfriends
are best friends?
95
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,254
- Dude! Come on!
96
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,291
[record scratches]
97
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,594
I honestly think
98
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,917
she's going to be
the mother of my children.
99
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:37,093
- Um, well...
100
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,433
I guess maybe,
101
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,758
but you can always adopt,
J-Dog.
102
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,223
- Oh, I mean,
well, yeah, of course.
103
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,523
- Yeah, man.
- Okay, kids.
104
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,966
Settle down, please.
105
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,846
- I know last-minute assemblies
are never good news,
106
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,693
but this one is not
as bad as the last one.
107
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,769
No one's parents
were lost at sea.
108
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,355
- Have my parents been found?
109
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,441
- Uh, no.
Listen, last night,
110
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,316
the school's brand-new iPads
111
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,453
were stolen
out of my room--office.
112
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,951
And until they are returned,
113
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,912
the ice cream social
is canceled.
114
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,413
- Dude!
[students clamoring]
115
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,115
- Hey! Hey!
116
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:10,455
Sorry, guys.
117
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,630
My house, my rules.
118
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,169
And again,
it's not my house,
119
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,633
because I don't live here.
120
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,844
- We are launching a thorough
121
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:22,474
and, more importantly,
ethical investigation.
122
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:23,852
- That's right, Jessie.
123
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:27,308
We're calling it the
"Snitches Get Riches" Program.
124
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:31,520
- Um, I thought we said no more
disciplinary experiments
125
00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,823
without running them
by me first.
126
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:36,317
- The "Snitches Get Riches"
Program
127
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,319
is a tattle raffle,
128
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:41,741
and great idea
that we all agree on.
129
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,451
Now, if anybody thinks they
know who stole those iPads,
130
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,242
just write their name down,
put it in here,
131
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:47,996
and you just might win
132
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,368
a Vizio LED smart TV
133
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,915
with two years
of Geek Squad Protection.
134
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,379
Are there any questions?
135
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,209
Well,
I don't see any hands,
136
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,174
so assembly dismissed.
137
00:04:58,214 --> 00:05:01,554
* *
138
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:04,683
- Okay, somebody
throw it at him.
139
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,311
- But he said don't.
140
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,598
- [sighs]
141
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,863
Really?
- It's, like, so messed up
142
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,517
they canceled
the ice cream social.
143
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:16,895
- Mm, yeah.
- [sighs] I just wish
144
00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:19,111
if someone knew who did it,
they'd come forward.
145
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,902
You know, if, like, it was,
like, their cousin
146
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,445
or their friend
from the bus
147
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,199
or an opponent
from a rival dance crew.
148
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:30,711
* *
149
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,037
- Wait, do you think
I know who did it?
150
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,713
[scoffing and laughing]
- Oh, my God. No, Aisha, no!
151
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,052
I would never say that
out loud.
152
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,298
- Okay. Just--just--
just throw it at him!
153
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,380
Just go ahead and throw it!
154
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:43,755
- Don't.
155
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:52,305
* *
156
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,562
- Do people keep asking you
157
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:54,983
if you know
who stole all the iPads?
158
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,151
- Yeah!
159
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,069
They obviously think
a Douglas kid did it
160
00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,318
and we're covering it up.
161
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,489
- How dare they all assume
162
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,857
that we know
who stole the iPads.
163
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,284
- I mean, it was DeVante,
right?
164
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,072
We know he stole them.
- Oh, yeah. He's 100% guilty.
165
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,156
- Like, we would
never tell on him, but--
166
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:09,741
- Obviously!
[sighs]
167
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,246
But he literally did
the same thing back at Douglas.
168
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,498
Granted, those weren't iPads.
169
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,210
They were RadioShack
Infotainment Squares.
170
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,750
- Mm.
171
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,553
But the Bayside kids don't
know that we know all that.
172
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,456
[scoffs]
It's so unfair.
173
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:21,915
Like, DeVante makes us
all look bad.
174
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,585
Now I know
how pro basketball players
175
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:24,933
who don't cheat
on their wives feel.
176
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,718
- We've had this conversation
a million times.
177
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,561
They all cheat.
178
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,136
- Not Sue Bird.
- Don't say "not Sue Bird."
179
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:31,391
- All right.
180
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:34,443
She loves Megan.
That's all I'm saying.
181
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:38,727
* *
182
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,233
- You know what's weird?
183
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:41,275
How we both met a girl
184
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:43,647
and fell in love
on the same day.
185
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,355
- Statistically,
it was bound to happen.
186
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,605
- True.
187
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:47,986
- I can't take it anymore.
188
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,953
- Mm, I'd keep my judgmental
opinions to myself.
189
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,794
Unless you hate having 50 cents
in your pocket.
190
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,290
- I don't know what poor-o bet
you two are making,
191
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,502
but Aisha's right.
192
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,792
Bayside mating rituals
193
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,125
are always more complicated
than they seem.
194
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,631
Best to stay out of it
and let it run its course.
195
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,263
- It's too bad
about the ice cream social.
196
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,640
That was gonna be the perfect
date for me and Pamela.
197
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,797
- Wait,
your girl's name is Pamela?
198
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,255
That's my girl's name, too.
199
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,965
- Wait, but that means--
200
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,733
both: We only have to write
one Valentine's Day rap.
201
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,269
- Yeah!
- Yes.
202
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:21,232
[coins rattle on table]
- It's the same Pamela, idiots!
203
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,534
- [scoffs]
Nuh-uh.
204
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,067
- No, no, no,
My girl is like this.
205
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:28,161
- Exactly. And my Pamela
is like this.
206
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,738
- Uh-huh.
207
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,445
both:
[gasp] No!
208
00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,956
- Hey, guys! Oh, since
the ice cream social is off,
209
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,628
I'm having a party
on Friday night
210
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,497
at my stepmom's stepmom's
Malibu beach house.
211
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,213
So check your email
for invites.
212
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,263
- I'm taking Pamela
to that party.
213
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,217
- No. I'm taking Pamela
to that party.
214
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,467
- Hey, look, there's a
perfectly reasonable way
215
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,930
to settle this.
216
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:53,849
A winner-take-all gentlemen's
prank war for her heart.
217
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,600
- No.
- Hey, Jamie, are you okay?
218
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,984
Or did some dumb bitch
ruin everything
219
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,730
by opening
her dumb-bitch mouth?
220
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:03,442
- Mac is so much better
at this stuff than me.
221
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,903
You know,
one time he tricked me
222
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,203
into falling in love with him
so he could steal my car.
223
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,607
- Ah.
- [sighs]
224
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,565
Damn, he looked good
driving that droptop.
225
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,276
See? I still feel it.
226
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,246
Hey, Pamela would be crazy
not to pick you.
227
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,157
You're so hot and popular.
228
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,206
You're like Justin Bieber
229
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,579
if he wasn't, like,
100 years old.
230
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,706
- Oh. Thank you, Lexi.
- Mm-hmm.
231
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:27,263
[chuckling]
232
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,298
Daisy,
when somebody who gets paid
233
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,432
to sell Casper mattresses
on Instagram gives you advice,
234
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,600
you listen.
235
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,018
You should have stayed
out of this.
236
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:39,017
- Hey, did you guys get
Yasmin's invite?
237
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,560
- Mm, yeah. It's right here.
238
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,233
- Oh.
[chuckles]
239
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:45,072
Maybe mine went to spam.
240
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:49,278
Is her email address
pumpit@penismasters.biz?
241
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:53,410
- Ugh, how do I say this
in a nice way?
242
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,410
She didn't invite you.
243
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:59,873
But your shirt is good.
244
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,584
- Let me guess.
245
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,464
None of the Douglas kids
were invited.
246
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:09,672
* *
247
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,046
- Hey.
248
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,392
I know what you did.
- No, thanks.
249
00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:14,758
- I know you stole those iPads,
250
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,104
'cause you did the same thing
back at Douglas.
251
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,099
- Those weren't iPads.
Those were garbage.
252
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:19,311
They only had one app on them
253
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,391
called "American Facebook,
not from Russia."
254
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:22,556
They were very hard to sell.
255
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:23,734
- Can you just do
the right thing for once
256
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:24,902
and give them back?
257
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:25,819
- Can you just
mind your business?
258
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,187
- This is my business.
259
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,403
You're making
all the Douglas kids look bad.
260
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:32,074
I'm the freakin' quarterback
of the football team.
261
00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:33,243
I shouldn't be excluded
from parties
262
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,871
'cause your ass don't--
- There it is.
263
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,828
So this ain't about
doing the right thing,
264
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,118
because if it was,
265
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:39,911
you would've brought
this up back at Douglas.
266
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,624
But you didn't.
267
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,464
So I wonder
why you're bringing it up
268
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,630
now that we go to Hogwarts.
269
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,208
- No, that's not why,
270
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,802
and don't try
to make it about that.
271
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,087
- Yeah, see,
you only care about this
272
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,260
'cause you don't want
to look bad
273
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,798
in front of your
little white friends.
274
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,301
- [scoffs]
275
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,593
First of all, uh,
276
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,096
Yasmin's dad is half-Persian.
277
00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:00,348
Look, you stole those iPads,
and that's wrong.
278
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:01,942
- Yep.
279
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,306
And I'm not giving them back.
280
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,484
Now what?
281
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:13,413
* *
282
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:23,365
- Now this.
283
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,205
This makes sense
if you just heard
284
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:30,382
the end of my previous
conversation, okay?
285
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:38,425
[bell rings]
286
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,181
- Oh, hey, Jamie. Isn't,
uh, Pamela in this class?
287
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,944
The object of our
gentlemen's prank war?
288
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,437
- Is she? Hmm.
I hadn't realized.
289
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,399
[door opens]
290
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,647
[clears throat]
Hey, dude, um, no offense,
291
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:57,816
but you smell
like hella dog poop.
292
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:01,617
- Yeah, I should hope so.
293
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,251
[whimpering]
294
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,958
Oh, I've been volunteering
at an animal rescue.
295
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,289
Hey, girl.
This is for you.
296
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,706
- What?
297
00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:13,514
- So she's just going to
hold a dog all through class?
298
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:15,378
[door opens]
299
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:16,835
[bell rings]
300
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,295
- [sighs]
301
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:21,425
Okay, students,
dogs, take your seats.
302
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:24,393
You have the whole class
to finish your quiz,
303
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,604
because I need to finish
304
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,523
writing an angry letter
to Tinder
305
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:31,112
about the quality of the
responses I've been getting.
306
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:36,994
- I have a delivery for
a "future Mrs. Pamela Spano."
307
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,660
- Pretty romantic, huh?
308
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:39,948
Wait till you hear the poem.
309
00:11:39,991 --> 00:11:42,121
- I've been instructed
to read this poem.
310
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,700
- Um, can you not?
We're in the middle of a quiz.
311
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,746
- [clears throat]
312
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,380
"Roses are red,
violets are blue
313
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,797
Jamie is married,
but Mac says--"
314
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,456
- Hey, boo.
315
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,336
- Damn it! How?
316
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:03,599
- [whispering]
Psst! Daisy!
317
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,430
Daisy!
318
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,345
Switch seats with me
so I can sit next to Pamela.
319
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,734
- No! Shh!
320
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:11,360
- She's in the middle
of a quiz. Leave her alone!
321
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:14,318
Daisy! Daisy!
322
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,109
Switch seats with me
so I can sit next to Pamela!
323
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,203
Please!
- Ugh! Fine, Jamie! Take it!
324
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,329
Whatever will get you two
to shut up!
325
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,287
- Hey.
326
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,787
- Aw...
327
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:27,749
I guess you won.
328
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:28,869
Wait.
329
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,325
[desk whirring]
330
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,455
- Whoa!
331
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:32,881
Dude, come on!
332
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,959
Not fair!
- Mac, stop it!
333
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:36,335
- Shh, shh.
- Daisy, be quiet.
334
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,921
The other students are trying
to take their quiz.
335
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,296
- [stammering]
336
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,506
[Jamie groans]
337
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:46,135
- Hey, beautiful.
Can I buy you a drink?
338
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:48,482
- What's happening?
Is she doing it?
339
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:51,728
Is he buying her a drink?
[desk whirring]
340
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,361
- Hey, um, people are saying
341
00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:57,359
they saw you put a name
in the snitch box.
342
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,452
- Maybe.
343
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,486
Not that it's
any of your business.
344
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,031
- So you're really going
to get me in trouble
345
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,294
just 'cause you didn't get
invited to some dumb-ass party?
346
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,536
- You did the wrong thing
and stole.
347
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,409
So I did the right thing,
and I told on you.
348
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,706
- Hmm. Mm. Okay.
349
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,710
So 30 iPads.
350
00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,672
So that's a felony, right?
351
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:18,012
Damn, I'm probably going to be
in jail for a couple years.
352
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,968
Not ideal.
Not ideal at all.
353
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,638
You know, 'cause both
of my parents are gone
354
00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,847
and I take care of my grandma.
355
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,138
Oh, but you love
doing the right thing.
356
00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:28,352
So you'll step in.
357
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,191
Yeah, you'll give her
her insulin shots
358
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,346
and fill out
her Medicare paperwork.
359
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:34,185
Pick up her teeth
when she throws them at the TV
360
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,280
'cause someone tried
to lie to Judge Judy.
361
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,067
You'll do
all those things, right?
362
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,610
Cool. Thanks.
363
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:45,163
* *
364
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,290
- Bro, what you just did
in there was messed up.
365
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,368
You know I love her, right?
- No, I love her!
366
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:53,544
All I want to do is stare
at her blue or brown eyes!
367
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:54,923
Eye?
368
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,959
Eyes!
- Oh, my God!
369
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,303
Neither of you love her!
370
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,168
You haven't even
heard her speak!
371
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,875
Can she?
You don't know.
372
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,336
I'm ending this, now.
373
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:07,096
- No, Daisy!
What are you doing?
374
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:11,558
- Mac and Jamie both like you.
375
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:14,651
Do you want to go to Yasmin's
party with either of them?
376
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:18,068
- Great! Done.
- [chuckles]
377
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,108
- This whole stupid thing
is over. Hurray!
378
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,531
- Ha! I won!
379
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,780
I won Pamela's heart!
380
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,492
- [scoffs] I can't believe
you just did that!
381
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,413
No one
in the history of Bayside
382
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,911
has ever short-circuited
a gentlemen's prank war before.
383
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:35,285
[scoffing]
384
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,883
- Oh, sorry, I don't need
a romantic serenade anymore.
385
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:43,053
Actually, can you play
"Bitch Better Have My Money"?
386
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:46,551
[violin plays]
387
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,854
- So you really snitchedon DeVante?
388
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,518
- No. Do not try
to guilt-trip me.
389
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,978
That sob story about his family
was probably made up.
390
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:58,769
I bet his real grandma is,
like, rich and hella strong.
391
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:02,895
- Do you think you're maybe
being kind of hard on him?
392
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,204
He's still one of us.
393
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,157
- [scoffs]
Why do people keep saying that?
394
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,907
I'm not like him.
395
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,330
- Do you remember
in middle school
396
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:12,288
when you got your braids done
for class pictures
397
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,868
and you wanted
to add pink hair?
398
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,213
You didn't 'cause you thought
it looked too ghetto,
399
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,669
but then our teacher,
Ms. Winston--
400
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:18,959
- Freakin' Ms. Winston.
401
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,002
[speaking Spanish]
402
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:22,336
- Uh, right.
403
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,840
She called your regular
404
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:27,303
not-pink braids "ghetto"
anyway.
405
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:30,764
Sometimes people are just...
Ms. Winstons.
406
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,675
Some of the Bayside kids
are going to paint
407
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,604
all the Douglas kids
with the same brush,
408
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,142
no matter what we do.
409
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:37,976
DeVante did a bad thing.
410
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,231
But you're blaming him
411
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,522
for how those other kids
are making you feel.
412
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,316
* *
413
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:47,701
- [crying]
Stop it, Lexi.
414
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,909
[door opens]
Crying in a bathroom stall
415
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,329
is so basic.
416
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,038
[door closes]
[continues crying]
417
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,998
- Lexi?
418
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,408
Is that you?
419
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,326
- You.
420
00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:58,834
You ruined everything
421
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,625
in your JC Penney "stern frump"
collection sweater.
422
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,340
- It's Kelly Clarkson
for Kohl's.
423
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,760
- Did it ever occur to you
424
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,758
that maybe I have complicated
feelings for Jamie
425
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,390
and that all of Mac
and Jamie's little schemes
426
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,847
to win Pamela's heart
existed within a larger scheme
427
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,138
for me to win Jamie's?
428
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,771
- How could that possibly
have occurred to me?
429
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:17,848
- Okay. Let me
break it down for you.
430
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,314
I like Jamie.
431
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,364
And for the past 11 months,
I've been looking for
432
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,148
the perfect opportunity
to tell him.
433
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,191
And if you had just
minded your own business
434
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,435
and let it run its course,
435
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,196
Mac would have
won Pamela's heart,
436
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:29,488
Jamie would have been
devastated,
437
00:16:29,531 --> 00:16:31,371
and I could've swooped in
and revealed my feelings
438
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:32,778
at the romantic
ice cream social
439
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,486
when Jamie was
at his most vulnerable.
440
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,446
- I'm sorry,
I really want to hear this,
441
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,536
but I do have to pee.
- Hold it.
442
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,081
- Please...
- When you interfered
443
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:41,575
and made Pamela choose
prematurely,
444
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,496
it completely screwed up
my Lexi-con.
445
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:46,715
"Lexi-cons" are what
I call my schemes.
446
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,756
- Well, wouldn't it be easier
if you just ask him out?
447
00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,551
- You're so judgmental.
448
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,684
[scoffs]
449
00:16:53,722 --> 00:17:00,652
* *
450
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,772
- I think Ericstole the iPads.
451
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,776
Maybe you should give usboth detention
452
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,648
and lock usin the room together,
453
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:11,155
and as punishment,we have to kiss 100 times.
454
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,617
- I'm not sure who to tell,
455
00:17:13,658 --> 00:17:16,448
but I think Toddmanlives at the school now.
456
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:19,084
I saw him walking aroundin a bathrobe
457
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:20,872
holding a shower caddie.
458
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,535
- Aisha?
What are you doing?
459
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,625
Are you busting
into the snitch box?
460
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:29,010
- Wait, why would you do
something like that, unless...
461
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:30,929
[both groan]
462
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,467
You stole the iPads.
463
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:42,935
* *
464
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:45,899
[indistinct whispering]
465
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:49,190
- [whispering] She stole them.
- [whispering] That's her.
466
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,735
- Stop whispering.
I can hear you.
467
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,780
- Sorry, we have to whisper.
We're in the library.
468
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,914
We think you're a thief.
469
00:17:56,951 --> 00:17:57,951
Sorry.
470
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,374
- [sighs]
471
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,462
This sucks.
Everyone thinks I did it.
472
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:02,618
Like, any minute now,
473
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,075
Toddman's going to call me
into his office,
474
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,785
and everyone's
going to go, "Ooh!"
475
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,625
And I'll be branded
the Bayside thief.
476
00:18:07,671 --> 00:18:10,301
- So what are you going to do?
- It doesn't matter.
477
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,300
Now I know that no matter
how much I try
478
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:14,592
to distance myself
from DeVante,
479
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,886
these kids are always going
to think of us as the same.
480
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:19,850
You were right. This school
is full of Ms. Winstons.
481
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,981
Freakin' "Precious Moments"
collectin'-ass,
482
00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,728
Joann Fabrics lovin'-ass bitch.
483
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,310
- Okay.
- [over PA]Aisha Garcia,
484
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:26,935
to my office, please.
485
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,731
- [scoffs]
Come on.
486
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,315
[students oohing]
487
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,490
Yeah, that's right. "Ooh!"
488
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,199
I stole the iPads.
You got me.
489
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:41,001
Nobody want's your lame-ass
JanSport, Mason!
490
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,157
Yasmin literally
has a Fendi bag.
491
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,916
I would obviously steal that.
492
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,168
* *
493
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,880
- We don't think you took
the iPads, Aisha,
494
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,670
but we think
you might know who did.
495
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:54,014
- Yeah, well, even if I did,
I wouldn't tell you.
496
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:56,680
- Oh, that's a big problem.
497
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,810
- I'm sorry, but I'm not going
to give the people here
498
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:00,597
another reason to look at us
all like we're criminals.
499
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,730
- No, the problem
I'm referring to
500
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:05,477
is that I just found
the box of iPads
501
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,230
right under my desk.
502
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:11,363
They were shoved
behind this box of photos
503
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:14,611
of me and Judy on vacation.
504
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,664
- Wait,
so no one took the iPads?
505
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,409
- Niagara Falls.
506
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,621
God, she filled out
that rain poncho.
507
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,042
Anyway,
all's well that ends well.
508
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:27,631
What do you say we just keep
this between ourselves?
509
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,337
- Ron!
- All right, I'll do it!
510
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:30,547
I'll make an announcement.
511
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:33,047
[P.A. clicks on]
Hey, everybody!
512
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:36,379
So, uh...
513
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,716
[dance music playing]
514
00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:45,562
* *
515
00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:48,442
[indistinct chatter]
516
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,235
- Where's
your girlfriend, loser?
517
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,568
- Where's your girlfriend?
518
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,873
Oh, wait, that's right.
She doesn't exist.
519
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:01,277
Just like Santa...
I found out recently.
520
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:02,656
- Hey, first off,
Santa is real, bro.
521
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,252
He exists in the hearts
of all who believe.
522
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,917
- Yeah.
- And second off, this...
523
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,206
- [gasps]
524
00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:10,919
- [scoffs] Jokes on you.
My penis was hot anyways.
525
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:11,960
- Oh.
526
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:16,420
[students clamoring]
527
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:23,680
- Hey! Hey!
528
00:20:25,308 --> 00:20:28,978
Hey, knock it off!
My office, now!
529
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,980
Okay, I've seen this before.
530
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:37,454
This whole competition
isn't over a girl at all.
531
00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,697
You're both just trying
to one-up each other
532
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,529
and prove you're
the big man on campus.
533
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,044
They call it...
534
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,537
toxic masculinity.
535
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,618
Forget about this stupid fight.
536
00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:50,504
Your friendship--
that's what really matters.
537
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:51,842
- What friendship?
- Too far!
538
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,166
- Hey! Hey!
Come on, guys.
539
00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:55,512
Look, when I was
in high school,
540
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:57,797
I constantly used to fight
with my best friend
541
00:20:57,841 --> 00:20:58,841
over a hot girl.
542
00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:00,303
[chuckles]
543
00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:02,303
Oh, it was actually your dad.
544
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:03,965
Over your mom!
545
00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:05,354
Anyway, look.
546
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,480
Then I just found another girl
that I really liked,
547
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:10,267
and I started hooking up
with her instead.
548
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,111
Wait, that was your mom.
549
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:15,147
Anyway, look,
what I'm trying to say here is,
550
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,151
girls, they come and go.
551
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:20,453
The only thing that really
matters here is friendship.
552
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:21,988
Now, that is forever.
553
00:21:22,032 --> 00:21:24,202
- But you don't even talk
to my dad anymore.
554
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:26,752
And I know that 'cause my mom
was sending out Christmas cards
555
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,706
and she goes,
"Should I send one to Slater?"
556
00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:31,997
And he goes, "Nah,
I don't talk to him anymore."
557
00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:34,042
- It would have been nice
to get one of those.
558
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:35,835
Got a cool collection
of fridge magnets.
559
00:21:35,879 --> 00:21:37,169
Nothing to hang.
560
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,843
- And you keep saying
that none of this matters,
561
00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:42,683
but according to your story,
it totally mattered.
562
00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:45,719
Like, Mac's dad winning
that battle was probably
563
00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:47,684
one of the most important
things he ever did.
564
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:49,644
- Yeah, if he didn't win,
I wouldn't exist.
565
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:52,194
- Oh, my God. That's true.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
566
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,478
So the girl we fight over now
567
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,692
could end up
being our future wife?
568
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:59,573
When I think about it
like that, I mean...
569
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:02,911
I just know that Pamela
is not the one for me.
570
00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:04,737
- Me either.
- Best friends again?
571
00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:07,203
- Yeah. Until there's another
girl we're both attracted to.
572
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,203
- Great!
- Sweet!
573
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,155
Thanks, Coach.
574
00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:12,456
- Yeah.
[sniffles]
575
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,249
[clears throat]
Really glad we had this talk.
576
00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:15,592
- Yeah.
- I appreciate it.
577
00:22:15,627 --> 00:22:16,957
- Me too. Do you feel better?
- I feel great.
578
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:18,883
- Me too. Good.
579
00:22:18,922 --> 00:22:21,012
- [gasps]
- In a moment of weakness,
580
00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:24,179
I confided in you
some very valuable information,
581
00:22:24,219 --> 00:22:26,049
and I need to know what you're
planning on doing with it.
582
00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:27,966
- What? The Jamie thing?
583
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:30,144
- Shh!
584
00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:32,603
What are you going to do,
you sick bitch?
585
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:34,734
Extort me?
Sell it to Harvey Levin?
586
00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:37,111
He won't print it.
He's my godfather.
587
00:22:37,148 --> 00:22:40,528
- No! Lexi, I'm sorry
I messed up your plan.
588
00:22:40,568 --> 00:22:42,988
And I promise you,
I will never tell anyone.
589
00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:46,529
- Oh, my God.
I believe you.
590
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:49,374
- So no one else knows
about this?
591
00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:51,661
- Absolutely not.
592
00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:54,665
Okay, having a crush
is pathetic and relatable.
593
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:55,878
I don't want people knowing
594
00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:57,287
there's something I want
that I can't have.
595
00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:58,585
- Okay, and sorry.
596
00:22:58,628 --> 00:23:00,128
W-why do you think
you can't have it?
597
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:01,461
- It's complicated.
598
00:23:01,506 --> 00:23:03,086
Look, Jamie and I
have been friends forever.
599
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:04,683
We grew up next door
to each other.
600
00:23:04,718 --> 00:23:07,048
I guess it's so scary. I mean,
like, what if I tell him
601
00:23:07,095 --> 00:23:08,255
and things get weird
602
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:09,854
and he doesn't want
to be my friend anymore?
603
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,769
Then who am I going to wave
good night to every night?
604
00:23:11,808 --> 00:23:13,438
Our other neighbor
is Simon Cowell,
605
00:23:13,476 --> 00:23:16,856
and I promised myself
I would never return his wave.
606
00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:18,476
- Wow, I--
607
00:23:18,523 --> 00:23:21,113
I had no idea you had
all this going on.
608
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:22,531
- Yeah.
609
00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:24,109
- I'm sorry
I've been so judgmental.
610
00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:27,914
- It's okay. I was judging
your T-zone this whole time.
611
00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:30,659
Touching it will
only make it worse.
612
00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:33,912
* *
613
00:23:33,955 --> 00:23:36,615
[dog barking, siren wailing]
614
00:23:36,666 --> 00:23:40,376
* *
615
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,130
- DeVante!
616
00:23:42,172 --> 00:23:43,592
Yo!
617
00:23:43,631 --> 00:23:45,181
Hey, I'm sorry, but I--
- Yo, shh!
618
00:23:45,216 --> 00:23:47,136
I know I shouldn't be here and
I know that you're mad at me,
619
00:23:47,177 --> 00:23:49,927
but I'm Ms. Winston.
620
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:52,681
I was afraid of what all the
Ms. Winstons thought about me,
621
00:23:52,724 --> 00:23:55,644
but I was Ms. Winston
the whole time.
622
00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:57,895
- No, thanks.
- Uh, you were right.
623
00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:00,857
I only told on you 'cause
I thought you made me look bad.
624
00:24:00,899 --> 00:24:02,439
And I'm sorry for that.
625
00:24:02,484 --> 00:24:05,244
But I'm even more sorry
that it never occurred to me
626
00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:07,158
that you didn't do it.
627
00:24:07,197 --> 00:24:10,027
I had this idea in my head
about who you are.
628
00:24:10,075 --> 00:24:11,695
- Why?
629
00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:12,993
'Cause I stole that UPS truck
630
00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:14,446
and sold all
the packages in it?
631
00:24:14,496 --> 00:24:16,826
Or 'cause I jacked that Rascal
scooter outside of Target
632
00:24:16,873 --> 00:24:19,083
and took it
for a very slow joyride?
633
00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:21,915
- And because the other day,
you literally said, "I did it."
634
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:24,051
[chuckles]
635
00:24:24,089 --> 00:24:26,009
Which I get now.
636
00:24:26,049 --> 00:24:29,839
- Look, I did some bad stuff
at Douglas.
637
00:24:29,886 --> 00:24:31,966
But you wanted a fresh start
at Bayside,
638
00:24:32,013 --> 00:24:35,603
and you never stopped to think
that maybe I wanted one, too.
639
00:24:35,642 --> 00:24:38,352
- I'm really sorry.
640
00:24:38,395 --> 00:24:40,805
Do you forgive me?
641
00:24:40,855 --> 00:24:43,355
- Only if you promise to
never come to my house again.
642
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,030
[both chuckle]
643
00:24:45,068 --> 00:24:47,198
Come on, man.
Get out of here.
644
00:24:47,237 --> 00:24:49,527
- Oh, and, um, all that stuff
you said about your grandma
645
00:24:49,572 --> 00:24:52,032
and her medication and
you needing to help her, like--
646
00:24:52,075 --> 00:24:54,285
- Aw, yeah, I made all that up
just to make you feel bad.
647
00:24:54,327 --> 00:24:55,537
- Yeah, I thought so.
648
00:24:55,578 --> 00:24:57,578
Okay, well, I'ma just...
649
00:24:57,622 --> 00:25:00,002
- DeVante, I need my shot!
650
00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:02,041
And come pick up my teeth!
651
00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:04,295
Judge Judy caught
this man in a lie,
652
00:25:04,337 --> 00:25:06,717
talking about he don't know
who cut the tree down.
653
00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:08,756
He knows!
- [chuckles]
654
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,220
You better go.
- Yeah, no. She's really scary.
655
00:25:11,261 --> 00:25:13,931
- [chuckles]
656
00:25:14,305 --> 00:26:14,165
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