All language subtitles for Silicon.Valley.S03E04.PROPER.HDTV.x264-KILLERS.ettv.-eng

Quite a plan you boys cooked up here.

Quite a plan.

I'm not sure what upsets me more,

that I have four employees

that conspired to commit felony fraud,

or that I have four employees
that are so stupid

I found out about it within 30 seconds.

Hearing it out loud, the
first one seems worse.

We got sales, manufacturing,
design, assembly,

logistics teams, they're
all ready to go.

All of them on the
payroll, all of them here

to build me a box.

I have a deal, in principle,

with Maleant to buy the box.

The second that we deliver a product that
meets those specs, we are cashing checks!

And you are the only four
people in this building

that are fighting me on it!

So give me one reason why I
don't fire you right now,

claw back your options,

make you unhireable all over town,

one goddamn reason!

- Because you can't.
- Excuse me?

This agreement says
that you have ten weeks

to complete a working prototype
before the deal expires.

So how are you gonna do
that if you fire us?

There are maybe eight engineers on earth

proficient in middle-out compression.

Five of them work for
Endframe, your competition,

and three of them are here
in this office right now.

So if we're gone,

I don't think you're ever
going to get your box.

What do you want?

I want to build my platform. Now.

To complete the box project is going
to take six months, at least.

So, what I think maybe
we should do is, um,

take a little tip from your chart there,

and we, uh, compromise.

Compromise is the shared hypotenuse

of the conjoined triangles of success.

Mm-hmm, yep. So, uh...
so, what I'm proposing

is we stand up the prototype, that's it.

We're not doing any custom features, no
new versions, no maintenance, nothing.

Richard, the Maleant basement.

And no onsite support. I think
you can hire other engineers

to do that fucking mole monkey work.

The second we write code that satisfies

the basic minimum
requirement of the deal,

we are off the box and
on to the platform.

And that is my final offer.

So, what do you say to that action--

- Whoa!
- Ow! Ow!

Hey, hey. You okay? You were
standing and then what happened?

- It's just a little shocking.
- Oh... what were you saying?

Did you... do we have a deal or...?

Yeah, Richard, we have a deal.

You have a bloody nose.

That was pretty badass, Richard.

Until it wasn't.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYS)

- sync and corrections by Caio -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Uh, this is not even a room.
This is a hallway.

Uh, it can't be, because that is a bed,

thus, this is a bedroom.

Two entrances and exits,
cross drafts ahoy.

And, uh, it is the safest room in
the event, unlikely, of a fire.

Oh! Whoopsies. Don't mind me.

Ah, Fred, this is Jared. He actually
is a, uh... a temporary resident.

Oh, uh, while I have you, there
were fresh droppings near my cot.

I think you were right. The Havahart
traps don't seem to be working.

I was thinking maybe we could just pick
a day and just drench it in hawk urine,

because the scent of a predator
can keep rodents at bay.

It's funny, we're named Pied
Piper, but we're beset with rats.

Little rascals. (CHUCKLES)

Fuck this. I've been writing
quick, bullshit subpar code

for 48 hours and I want to kill myself.

How do you do it every day, Dinesh?

What a coincidence, I've also been
writing bullshit code for 48 hours,

and want you to kill yourself.

Guys, please. Let's just
shit this thing out

so we can get on to
building the platform.

Hi.

- Hi.
- Dang.

- What?
- I'm Dang.

- I'm Dang?
- Dang.

- What...
- My name is Dang.

Oh, my... I'm sorry. What,
uh, what can I do for you?

I'm heading the design team that's
building the enclosure for the box.

- It's time for the concept meeting.
- Concept meeting?

Okay. I'm just going to
show you a few pictures,

and you tell me which
ones you like, okay?

Okay. Sure.

(RHYTHMIC DRUMBEAT PLAYS)

Look, wait, hold on.

I thought you were going to
show me pictures of boxes.

- Like data storage devices.
- Before I can actualize a box,

you and I need to develop a
shared aesthetic vocabulary.

Otherwise, I have no idea
what you're going to want.

Um, I have a lot of
work to do right now.

This is work. This is my work.

What we're doing here
could actually save time.

- Okay. Sure. Yeah. Uh...
- Let's just make this simple.

If the box were an animal, what
sort of animal would it be?

Leopard?

Butterfly? Rhinoceros?

Stop. Animal? Um, it's a box.

Right? Okay, so if you need an animal,

make it a box turtle.
How does that sound?

So this is all kind of a joke to you?

You know what? I don't actually give a
flying fuck what this box looks like.

Okay, if it was up to me, I wouldn't
even have it in the first place.

So, look, here. This
is a black rectangle.

Make it that. All right?
Because we're going to take it

and put it in a hole in a
subbasement in a data center,

where no one can see it except for a
sad man named John with a ponytail.

Okay? Just make it a box.

And please turn off that fucking music.

(MUSIC STOPS)

Hello!

It appears there has been a mistake.

Is this not my parking space?

Sorry, a lot of premium
spaces are being reassigned.

14-A, you've been reassigned to lot D.

Lot D?

The structure?

Beyond the freeway?

Anywhere above level
three, those are reserved.

There's a shuttle stop
on the ground level.

A shuttle?

(PHONE DINGS)

Call Gavin Belson. Cell.

(PHONE DINGS, LINE RINGS)

Gavin (ON VOICEMAIL): Greetings,
friend, I'm not available right now.

-Please leave a message after the beep.
- (HORN HONKS)

I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

RICHARD: What the fuck?
Why isn't this working?

Gilfoyle's preprocessor
and my compressor

should integrate seamlessly.
This should work.

I may have made my preprocessor

slightly faster than you
asked me to, Richard.

What do you mean? How
much slightly faster?

- 200 megs per second.
- You dick.

That's eight times as fast
as the specs required.

No wonder our modules aren't
running at the same speed.

- Why would you do that?
- I tried to make it slow.

I really did. But I'm not Dinesh.

It's very difficult for
me to do shitty work.

So I added a differencing library

and then the whole thing
just took off like a rocket.

Wait, so you're not processing
whole files, just the changes?

- That's actually pretty cool.
- Yeah, I thought so too.

That's why I wrote it.

All right, well, I guess I
should just revert back.

Right? Slow my preprocessor way down.

Although, Richard, couldn't you
just rewrite the compressor

to make it faster so it's compatible?

I mean, these are minimum speeds, right?

Just cause making the box sucks

doesn't mean we have
to suck at making it.

Yeah. Okay. Um, here's one idea.

Uh, what if we actually move
upstream and connect the parser...

BOTH: directly to the
compressor seed functions.

Okay. (CHUCKLES)

Well, then the whole
thing would really fly.

Yeah. That would rock.

Hey, Richard, do you have a sec? I have
a, uh, preliminary render for you.

What is that?

What do you mean? It's a box.

That's not our box, is it?

Yes. It's exactly what you asked me for.

You drew a rectangle and said if it
was an animal, it'd be a box turtle.

I mean, are you just going to do the
bare minimum and call it a day?

Is that, like, what you do?

You said it didn't matter,
you said you didn't care.

No one's caring about this.
I'm just saying, like,

it's just a matter of pride
and, like, self-respect.

I mean, that's going to go in brochures,
man, that's like an advertisement

to you and the company and everything.

I can maybe add some color to it

and give the bezel a little slam.

There you go. Definitely, a slam.
Slam it.

Yeah, maybe add some more lights.

Sure. Yeah. Well, hey, uh,

what are you doing standing
around here talking about it?

You should go do it, you know.
Go and make the damn thing.

Make it a jaguar 'cause I have a feeling

this baby is going to purr.

I don't care either, but, you know,

I think maybe a gazelle is more like it.

Cause it's synonymous with speed.

Fuck that. A cheetah's faster.

And it kills fucking gazelles.

But I really don't fucking care.

- But definitely cheetah.
- Or a gazelle.

Also, don't throw away
the whole jaguar thing,

- 'cause they're pretty quick too.
- Or a gazelle.

Ah! Jared, Jesus fuck!
What are you doing?

Sorry. I was...

I was just taking a quiet
moment to collect myself.

What the hell is all this shit?

My tenant has been leaving my belongings

in the alley behind my condo,

to make more room for his tenants.

- Your tenant has tenants?
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

He's Airbnbing my Airbnb.
So, if it's okay with you,

I might need to stay a
little bit longer, um...

I can go around the back to get
to the bathroom once Fred's here.

- When's he moving in?
- Wouldn't we all like to know.

Fred, Erlich Bachman. You said you'd
get back to me about the room.

I don't mean to pressure you,
but I need you to decide now.

In this moment, on this phone call.

I am literally standing within
feet of three potential candidates

whose selves I could
easily tell to go fuck...

Good? What do you mean good?

What does that mean, you're good?

What? What other incubator? Where?
What is the address?

Because I want to send
them a fucking nice gift.

-= www.OpenSubtitles.org =-

Fucking "Miami Vice,"
disgusting architecture!

Hey, man. What are you doing here?

What the fuck are you doing here?

What do you mean? This is my house.

Crazy, right?

This place is huge. (CHUCKLES)

Did you want to...?

Yes, it would be polite for you
to invite me into your home

and offer me a Push Pop, yes.

I'm sorry. You're telling me

that we should spend less time together?

Absolutely, Chela.

Well, I have to say,
this is a big relief.

In all candor, I was feeling the same,

but I thought that discussing
it with you might be awkward.

Not at all.

You are ready, Chela,
to stand on your own,

to weather the challenges of the future,

and the rumors swirling
about your leadership.

Be well, Gavin.

I'm-- I'm sorry. Wait, what...
what rumors?

There is talk that in the
face of a growing threat

from Richard Hendricks and Pied
Piper, armed with a powerful new CEO,

- that you have done nothing.
- (LAUGHS) Well, yes, but--

That by shuttering Nucleus, you have
left them to gather strength unopposed,

ceding the entire space. Some are saying
this is a show of great weakness.

Who? Who exactly is saying this?

Well, people talk.

In the halls, in the cafeteria,
on the parking shuttle.

Wait, should... should I
be worried about this?

The beauty is...

now you have all the answers.

Yes? All right.

Denpok, please.

Will you sit back down?
I need your help.

- Of course.
- Thank you.

Clearly, we have come far,
but we still have far to go.

Not as far as lot D,

but far nonetheless.

JARED: Look what you guys built.

You can't help but be elegant,
you're like Audrey Hepburn.

Ah, here they come.

Well, I know we made a big deal

about just doing your absolute
minimum of your specs,

but one thing led to
another and, well, Jack,

buckle your seatbelt because I'd
like to introduce you to...

Richard, just save it.

Just got off the phone with
Calvin Greene, CEO of Maleant.

- They're pulling out.
- What?

- How can they just pull out?
- Because they shopped our deal

and got a better bid from
another appliance maker,

so Maleant's out, they fucked us.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

So, probably we should just push pause

on the whole box thing until we
figure out where to go from here.

Okay. Uh, I... actually, I have a...
I have a question.

Yeah, I know. I know. I know,
Richard, we had an arrangement,

but that was all based on
closing the Maleant deal.

- So now we have to figure out--
- No, no. Sorry, um...

No, my question is, uh,
who did they go with?

Whose box do they think is
that much better than ours?

- Oh, uh, Dectosphere.
- Dectosphere?

It's a brick with a power cord.

Yeah. But I hear their new 43-11s,

they're going to be hitting
close to 75 megs per second.

Uh, we can do 200.

What?

Yeah. You think you can get me
in a room with Calvin Greene?

BIG HEAD: This is the pool.
The first night I was here,

I turned the heat, like, all the way up,

and half the water evaporated overnight.
It's crazy.

Well, I hope you own a skimmer
because there's a massive turd

floating on the surface of your pool.

Who, Fred? Fred's great, man.

He's got this really cool, um,
malware cataloguing thing--

Cut the shit, Big Head. I see
exactly what you're doing.

Poaching my tenants? You
stole my business model.

What? No. Dude, it's
not like that at all.

It's just this house has,
like, nine bedrooms.

You have any idea how
scary that gets at night?

So I just wanted to have
some roommates around,

but, um, you know, I felt weird
charging them rent, cause, you know.

No, I don't.

Well, it's like, 20 million, you
know, so I don't really need it,

but then they felt weird living
here without paying me anything,

so they offered me pieces of
their startups. That's all.

You just admitted to starting
a competing incubator.

I've caught you in a web of
your own lies, haven't I?

I don't think so. Wait, have you?

All right, Big Head. You
want to play it that way?

If it's a fight you want,
then a fight you shall have.

All of you!

See you, buddy.

Big Head.

(ENGINE SPUTTERS)

Fuck!

What are we doing here?

Why are we fighting like this?

I mean, I'm going to steal your guys,

you're gonna steal my guys.

We'll both wield the heft of
our considerable fortunes

until each of us have
nearly nothing left.

Is that really what you want? Me either.

So what do you say we join forces?

I'm big enough.

Are you, Big Head? Partners?

- Okay.
- Attaboy.

All right, I'm going to take a spin
on that fancy Japanese toilet,

and then let's get to work figuring
out which one of these bedrooms

is going to be my office.

GAVIN: Consider the bulldog.
A grotesque monstrosity

born of relentless inbreeding.

Riddled with sinusitis,
crippled by joint pain.

Chronically flatulent.

A kindly pet, or humanity's
cruelest mistake?

All right, take it away.

Ladies and gentlemen, just
like that horrible creature,

the entire Nucleus program was
the result of inbreeding.

We mated Hooli engineers with Hooli
designers in a Hooli kennel.

Is it any wonder the result was
just as unspeakable as that thing?

Bring it back here.

Look at that hideous face.

All right, get it out of here!

I'm sorry, Gavin. What's your point?

My point is just as not all dogs
are as flawed as the bulldog,

not all compression plays
are as flawed as Nucleus.

Our execution was lacking,
but the idea was correct.

Our only mistake was looking inward.

It is now time to look outward.

I mean, this guy did all of the work.

Ten minutes after we leave
Calvin Greene's office,

he calls me up and says,
"Hey, you got me. How much?"

I just showed them the box,
Jack's the one who made the deal.

Good feelings, happy feelings.

So Big Head built a better version
of your incubator, accidentally.

- Correct.
- And he didn't even realize it?

Also correct.

And your solution to that was
to go into business with him?

Big Head? The guy you
once called more useless

than a bag of dicks without a handle?

Dinesh, don't fall for his
"aw, shucks" routine.

He is a shrewd businessman.

And together, we have over 20 million

and 36,000 dollars at our disposal.

Now, if you'll excuse
me, on to Pied Piper.

I have a board meeting, and this board
ain't exactly gonna meet itself.

LAURIE: Our subsequent order of business

is the approval of Pied Piper's redraft

of the hardware requisition agreement

with Maleant Data Systems Solutions.

- Ah, yeah.
- The main event.

We've all read the latest
sales agreement, yes?

Actually, I don't think I was CC'd on--

So I believe we can move
straightforward to a vote?

Actually, I'm sorry. I
have an issue with, uh,

section 14, paragraph two.

Um, it states that Maleant
has exclusive rights

to purchase any appliance made by
Pied Piper for the next five years.

Oh, uh, yeah. Jack gave them
exclusive rights to the box

so that we would get a
better price upfront.

Right, but this language is far broader.

They actually have exclusive rights to use
the underlying algorithm in any form.

Oh, no. That's not right at all.

Yeah, so I think, Jack, we're
going to have to go back to them

and just change the language here.

We're not going to be able to do that.

And, uh, why not?

Because that was the specific
language which Maleant requested

when I got them to pay three times
as much for each one of our boxes.

It's a white label deal,
so they have the right

to resell these boxes in
any form they choose.

Yeah, but Jack, if they have
exclusive rights to the algorithm,

then we can't use the algorithm
to build the platform.

For five years. They wanted
seven, I talked them down.

I know, but you said that we could build
the platform once we gave you the box.

Yes, but I never specified a timeframe.

Are you serious?

I save your ass and you stab
me in the back like this?

- In the front, Richard.
- Laurie, did you know about this?

- I did not.
- Well, then, good, okay.

So it won't go through, because
Laurie's not going to vote for it.

Richard, this is complicated.

If one goes strictly by the
numbers, these numbers,

you have built a box
that is so valuable,

I am now obligated to
vote in favor of it.

Laurie, this deal is peanuts.
The platform could be worth

a thousand times what the box is worth.

It could be, correct, however--

This is theoretical, Richard.

You don't have a price point, I do,

and she has a fiduciary obligation
as a member of the board

to vote for the box. On the page,

this is in the best interest of
the company. Am I wrong, Laurie?

That is factually correct.

You remember when you tried to
end run me and kill the box?

Well, she couldn't do a
goddamn thing about it then.

And she can't do a goddamn
thing about it now.

Simple majority ratifies the
agreement, all in favor.

Are you kidding me? What the
fuck is going on right now?

Laurie.

I wasn't carbon copied on
this particular email,

so I stand with Richard.

Um, Richard,

you know how I voted to fire
you a couple months ago?

And I said that I did
it to stay in the game

so that maybe at some
point in the future,

I could do something to help?

Well, Laurie,

I know you'll probably
replace me on the board

and call for a revote tomorrow,

but I'm here today.

And I don't have any
metrics to back it up,

but I honestly believe that the
platform that Richard wants to build

will be far more lucrative in
the long term than any box.

So, at least for today, I'm voting no.

Motion denied.

We will be reconvening tomorrow.

And if I could get a, uh, an email,
be CC'd on the latest draft...

I couldn't sit there and
watch them do that to you.

I just hope I don't end
up fired over this.

Well, what you did took incredible guts.

And the fact that it probably
won't make any difference

makes it all the more meaningful.

Right, I saw this nature documentary
where a bison fought a lion

to protect the rest of the herd.
And it was so moving.

Um, it didn't work, the lion,
uh, tore into the bison

and then laid waste to the
herd, but what courage.

Thank you, Jared.

You guys just had to make
a great box, didn't you?

- You couldn't phone it in.
- (PHONE RINGS)

Uh, guys, Gavin Belson is calling me.
Again.

- What the fuck does he want?
- Hello?

Richard Hendricks, just checking
in, seeing if you heard the news.

- What news?
- Mm.

Obviously, you don't have your
Hooli news alerts up to date.

Go to the site. I'll wait.

- Go to the Hooli news website.
- Okay.

It's an ad.

Um, it's an ad. Hold on.

Just wait four seconds, and
you can click to skip it.

Just wait four seconds and
then you can click it.

No, it's the kind where you have
to watch the whole fucking thing.

It's the whole ad kind.

I thought we stopped doing those.
Goddamn it.

Well, regardless, what you'll see
once the paid announcement is over,

is that I just closed a
250 million dollar deal

to acquire a little
company called Endframe.

I thought you'd want to know.
Update those Hooli news alerts.

Also, I invite you to click yes,

if our ad experience was relevant to you.
Be well, Richard.

What did he say?

Oh, my God.

"Gavin Belson announces
deal to acquire Endframe,

"a middle-out compression platform
company, for 250 million dollars."

Even after they shit
the bed with Nucleus,

Hooli gets to build our
platform and we don't?

(LAUGHS, COUGHS)

- What is funny about this?
- He's intoxicated.

No. No... yes, but don't you see?

Gavin, in trying to fuck
us, just saved our asses.

- (COUGHING)
- He's right. He's right.

- (COUGHING)
- My gosh. Oh, my gosh, he's right.

- Holy shit.
- I am so confused right now.

Gavin set a p-- (COUGHING)

- He set the--
- The price point.

- Yes.
- Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, thanks to Gavin, Endframe, a
middle-out compression platform,

is objectively worth
250 million dollars.

Wait, okay. We are a middle-out
compression platform company.

Are we worth 250 million dollars?

There's no way the box makes
us worth a fraction of that.

Laurie couldn't vote for the platform

because she couldn't assign
a dollar value to it.

Well, Gavin has just done that.

He's validated the market so there's...

there's no reason to revote. We win.

I can't wait to see the look
on that AAR prick's face

when we come in there and gut him like a--
(COUGHING)

- Is he okay?
- He's going to be fine.

Welcome, men and ladies of Endframe.

Rather than incestuously promoting
the same faces from within,

you represent fresh blood, new ideas.
Everything Nucleus was not.

It is my honor to personally
welcome you all to Hooli.

Does he really not remember us?

How long did you work at Hooli?
The last time?

Seven years.

I was here for nine. He was
invited to my wedding.

I hope Jack doesn't cry.

I really hope he does.

Hey, Gloria. Lynn.

- Did they both get fired?
- I don't...

Laurie. What are you doing here?
Where's Jack?

Uh, as you may recall, at our
board meeting last night,

Jack said that he would get his
way, and that, in his words,

I, quote, "couldn't do a goddamn
thing about it," end quote.

Well, in light of recent activities,

it appears that I could do
a goddamn thing about it.

And I just did. Jack
Barker has been exited.

- Fuck me sideways.
- Indeed.

Effective immediately,

you are all at liberty to
commence work upon the platform.

Okay. Wow.

Yeah, uh, uh, I just got to ask, um,

with Jack not being CEO
anymore, am I CEO again?

You are not.

Nor are you, Mr. Bachman.

I'm sorry, if I'm not CEO,
Erlich isn't, Jack isn't,

who is going to run Pied Piper then?

Officially, and until further notice,

this chair will remain empty.

- Really?
- Excuse me.

♪ ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I don't never feel pain ♪

♪ 'Cause I done felt too much pain ♪

♪ Blood flowing through my veins ♪

♪ I'm just doing my thing ♪

♪ Get money, baby girl, gold chains ♪

♪ I don't never feel pain ♪

♪ 'Cause I done felt too much pain ♪

♪ Standing in the rain ♪

♪ Blood flowing through my veins ♪

♪ I ain't never did a thing ♪

♪ Getting money, rocking chains ♪

♪ We'll never feel the same ♪

♪ We the thugs in the game ♪

♪ I don't never feel pain ♪

♪ 18 wheeler gorillas
Black with gold chains ♪

♪ Pitch bird like steelers ♪

♪ Hines Ward of the crime lords ♪

♪ Running through this
money screaming "encore" ♪

♪ Spending nights with the prime whore ♪

♪ But that's the bitch
that you're blind for ♪

♪ Celebrating on a whim, nigga ♪

♪ Pain is Pac above the rim, nigga ♪

♪ My bitch rock a bigger gem, niggas ♪

♪ 'Cause she was there
when it was dim, nigga ♪

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