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1
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,344
Well, I wake up in the mornin'
2
00:00:52,419 --> 00:00:55,183
Each and every day
3
00:00:55,255 --> 00:01:00,022
And I sit down at the table
and I hear my daddy say
4
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,561
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
5
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,120
Life is nothin'
but a slap in the face
6
00:01:05,198 --> 00:01:07,564
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
7
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,296
Life is nothin'
but a fat rat race
8
00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:14,807
Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah
9
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,366
Oh, yeah, yeah
10
00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:20,379
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
11
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:22,472
Every night I have a dream
12
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,382
That you're takin' off your dress
13
00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:30,116
The only thing you're wearin'
is a button on your chest
14
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,590
And the button
it says nothin'
15
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:35,253
Life is nothin'
but a slap in the face
16
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,627
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
17
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,166
Life is nothin'
but a fat rat race
18
00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:44,966
What is life
19
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:47,598
What is life
20
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,108
A rat race, a rat race
21
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:54,944
What is life
22
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,677
What is life
23
00:01:57,751 --> 00:02:00,276
A rat race, a rat race
24
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:03,016
A rat race, a rat-rat race
25
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:07,356
Oh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah
26
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:10,453
Oh, yeah, yeah
27
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:13,658
It's a jungle out there
and I know I don't belong
28
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:18,802
So all night long
I just sing my stupid song
29
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,869
Get a body out
in the rat, in the race
30
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:25,411
Get a body out
in the rat, in the race
31
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,039
Get a body out in the rat
32
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:35,655
To the sound of the storm comin'
strictly from the B-A-H-A M-E-N
33
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:50,536
Life ain't nothin'
but a big rat race
34
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,234
Life ain't nothin'
but a big rat race
35
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,538
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
36
00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,171
Life is nothin'
but a slap in the face
37
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,579
Life is nothin'
It's a nothin'
38
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:05,117
Life is nothin'
but a fat rat race
39
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:20,300
Hi. I'm checking out. 14322.
40
00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:24,195
- Mr. Schaffer?
- That's me.
41
00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:28,463
- I have your bill right here.
- Great. Thank you.
42
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:33,069
- How was your luck last night?
- I don't... I didn't gamble.
43
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:37,082
I was here for a friend's bachelor
party. I guess he's the gambler.
44
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:43,214
What's this $ 110?
45
00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:47,692
- Those are your in-room movies.
- I didn't watch any movies.
46
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,662
Okay, let's see. Afro Whores.
47
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:53,892
Afro Whores?
48
00:03:53,966 --> 00:03:57,265
You watched it...
let's see... 11 times.
49
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:04,206
Afro Whores, 2:30. Afro Whores,
4:00. Afro Whores, 5:30.
50
00:04:04,277 --> 00:04:07,713
It says in the morning you watched
The Grinch for ten minutes...
51
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:09,771
and then switched back
over to Afro Whores.
52
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:12,818
I swear I didn't watch it.
I was at a bachelor party.
53
00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:15,115
There were 35 people there.
You can ask any of them.
54
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:18,021
- Take that off my record.
- This is not a record, sir.
55
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:22,551
- It's a delete.
- How many times did you watch it?
56
00:04:22,628 --> 00:04:25,563
None! I didn't watch it.
57
00:04:25,631 --> 00:04:29,624
Are you sure? "Sizzling,
three-way, backdoor action...
58
00:04:29,702 --> 00:04:32,068
featuring
two sexy soul sisters..."
59
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:34,936
I don't need to know what
it's about. I did not watch it.
60
00:04:36,509 --> 00:04:39,740
I didn't.
61
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:44,374
Drove 500, and Chipper Jones
struck out in that key situation.
62
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:48,386
He's 0 for 5,
lost three straight games.
63
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:52,584
This month he has
a one-game winning streak.
64
00:04:55,328 --> 00:05:00,288
Miss? Miss, can I have
another one of these, please?
65
00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:04,302
Oh, sorry.
I thought you were a woman.
66
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,600
I am a woman.
67
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,806
You know, you look
kind of familiar.
68
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,402
Yeah, you do.
69
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,505
You know, I get that
all the time.
70
00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:18,982
I guess I just have
one of those faces.
71
00:05:19,051 --> 00:05:22,680
And now for our loser of the week.
This week it's a no-brainer.
72
00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:25,246
Referee Owen Templeton made
the biggest bonehead call...
73
00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:27,258
in the history of football.
74
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:31,695
It happened last Sunday at Dallas
with the score tied at 10.
75
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:33,994
They were headed towards overtime.
Everything was cool.
76
00:05:34,066 --> 00:05:36,159
They were about to toss the coin
to see who would kick off.
77
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:39,796
- Dallas, call it in the air.
- Tails.
78
00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:42,466
- That's heads.
- That was tails.
79
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,669
- No. It's...
- That was tails.
80
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:48,077
No... Wait! Hang on!
It's... Now, what did I say?
81
00:05:48,147 --> 00:05:50,115
- Tails!
- It's tails.
82
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:53,175
- It's heads.
- What are you doin'?
83
00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:58,019
You saw...
84
00:05:58,090 --> 00:06:00,854
Okay, little brother,
just be cool.
85
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,861
Just be cool.
86
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:19,843
Okay, this is it.
See that glass?
87
00:06:19,912 --> 00:06:23,507
Walk across the lobby, slip on
the glass, let gravity do the rest.
88
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,418
I might "eak" my neck.
89
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:30,547
True. You could break your neck.
It's a risk I'm willing to take.
90
00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:33,558
Why don't "oo" do it?
91
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:36,652
Because, Einstein, one of us
needs to be the victim...
92
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:39,562
and one of us needs
to be the witness.
93
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:42,999
I'm your own brother.
I don't know what you're sayin'.
94
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,196
How's your tongue?
Let me see it.
95
00:06:48,674 --> 00:06:50,005
How's it look?
96
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:55,875
It looks good.
It looks much better.
97
00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:58,282
Okay, here we go.
98
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:02,720
We're on Candid Camera,
so make it look good.
99
00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:16,434
Excuse me. I'm a lawyer.
Gloria Allred.
100
00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:19,232
- What the hell happened here?
- She slipped on that glass.
101
00:07:19,305 --> 00:07:23,639
Those arrogant jerks. They're gonna
pay for this through the nose.
102
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:26,405
How's your neck?
I've never seen such negligence.
103
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,413
This is going to be huge.
104
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,414
She's an angel.
105
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:33,941
What a cute little face.
Would you look at those cheeks?
106
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:36,784
- She's absolutely beautiful.
- She has your eyes.
107
00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:39,017
It's the only picture
I have of her.
108
00:07:39,091 --> 00:07:41,025
It's all worn out 'cause
I'm always looking at it.
109
00:07:41,093 --> 00:07:44,927
- You haven't seen her for 27 years?
- Not till today.
110
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:48,057
- She just called you out of the blue?
- No, I found her.
111
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:52,833
I hired a detective. I spent all
my money. Now we're going to meet.
112
00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:55,897
- You think she'll recognize me?
- Of course she will, won't she?
113
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,909
- Yeah.
- She will.
114
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:20,832
Vera Baker.
115
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,835
My baby...
116
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,770
Excuse me.
I have to take this.
117
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,334
This is Merrill.
118
00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:37,774
No! That's unacceptable!
119
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:41,650
If we don't ship by Tuesday, we won't
be in the stores by Mother's Day.
120
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:44,656
That's unacceptable, so don't
give me any excuses, and do it!
121
00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:47,522
Do it!
Just shut up and get it done!
122
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,632
Oh, honey,
you broke your phone.
123
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:57,795
It's okay. I carry extras.
124
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:03,403
- Why don't we sit down?
- Yes.
125
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:14,817
You probably have
a thousand questions for me.
126
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:19,851
I was young. I didn't tell
anybody I was pregnant.
127
00:09:19,925 --> 00:09:23,554
And I felt I could handle it
at the time.
128
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:26,427
Hi. Do you think
you gals could...
129
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,524
pull yourselves together
and bring us a drink?
130
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:30,626
- Yeah.
- Sure.
131
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,694
Sure. What would you like?
132
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,036
Mimosa.
133
00:09:35,107 --> 00:09:39,043
They both want a mimosa.
134
00:09:39,111 --> 00:09:42,842
So, you sell cosmetics?
135
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:46,578
Yeah. I have my own company.
136
00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,517
And we're going public.
137
00:09:49,588 --> 00:09:52,682
And you're not married?
138
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:56,194
- Lucianne said you wouldn't.
- Who?
139
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:59,493
She's my psychic. She's the one
who told me to come look for you.
140
00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:01,533
She said you needed me.
141
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:05,263
- She did?
- She said you were lonely...
142
00:10:05,337 --> 00:10:09,933
and you were worried about money
and you had trouble sleeping.
143
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:17,145
Who the hell isn't?
144
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,290
See? I told you
we didn't need a bellman.
145
00:10:25,357 --> 00:10:29,054
Yeah, well, congratulations, Randy.
You avoided another tip.
146
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,187
Those nickels and dimes
add up, my dear.
147
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:33,322
- I call this bed!
- Hey, no fair.
148
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:35,663
- You got to pick last night.
- Go to hell, Jason.
149
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,669
- Make me.
- Hey, language, please.
150
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,898
- Bev, his and her bathrobes.
- Yes.
151
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,940
- Look at that view.
- Yeah.
152
00:10:42,007 --> 00:10:46,910
- Nice view.
- Okay, honey. Why don't you unpack?
153
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:49,675
- Okay.
- I'm just gonna go look around.
154
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:53,515
Wait, wait, wait.
You're not going to the casino?
155
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:56,987
No, no, of course not.
156
00:10:57,056 --> 00:11:00,856
I just drove from the Grand Canyon.
Gotta stretch my legs.
157
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:04,453
You swore to me on your mother's eyes
we are here to see David Copperfield.
158
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:08,234
- No gambling.
- I'm just lookin' around.
159
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:12,702
In fact, I'm gonna go
to the gift shop.
160
00:11:12,771 --> 00:11:14,830
I can jump farther than you.
161
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:17,375
- I can jump farther.
- No way. Watch.
162
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:23,641
That's gotta hurt.
Honey, kids need ya.
163
00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:26,048
- Hey, Nick. Nicky!
- Hey.
164
00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:28,416
- You're not leaving?
- I'm in court on Tuesday.
165
00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:31,923
- No, you're not.
- I work for people who are.
166
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:34,789
You pussy. You can't leave.
It's still goin' on up there.
167
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,226
Richie, I have to.
I've had two hours sleep.
168
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:40,197
Steve Cunningham just got another
stripper. You got to see this one.
169
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:42,200
- She's incredible.
- I got to get back.
170
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:45,465
No, you don't, Nick.
I know you. You're scared.
171
00:11:45,537 --> 00:11:48,506
You're scared it's gonna
get out of control up there.
172
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:50,974
Someday you'll be up for attorney
general and it'll haunt you.
173
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,171
- I'm not having this conversation.
- You didn't even gamble.
174
00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:56,544
Not one quarter.
That's no way to live.
175
00:11:56,615 --> 00:11:59,675
In fact, that ain't even livin'.
It's hiding.
176
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:02,414
- I'm not hiding from anything.
- Oh, no?
177
00:12:02,488 --> 00:12:04,979
Okay, then prove it.
178
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,821
Do something, anything.
Break one rule.
179
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:12,830
Here. Look. Nick, a paper.
Come on. Take it.
180
00:12:12,898 --> 00:12:16,561
Take it. Come on, Nick.
Take it.
181
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:22,934
I have a plane to catch, okay?
182
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:25,602
I'll see you in Chicago.
183
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,908
Oh, look, I won! I won!
184
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:32,041
Look at the money comin' down.
185
00:12:32,117 --> 00:12:35,280
Look. Look, look, look.
What's... What's...
186
00:12:35,354 --> 00:12:39,450
"You're a winner.
See guest services."
187
00:12:41,126 --> 00:12:43,856
What? A dollar?
188
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,034
Come on, baby. Come on!
189
00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:07,584
Come on.
190
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:10,283
We won!
191
00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:17,723
- We won one.
- What is this? This isn't money.
192
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,278
That's the prize?
A free buffet?
193
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,443
Actually, it's not a buffet.
194
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:44,114
It's a special reception at 10:00
in the penthouse conference room.
195
00:13:44,189 --> 00:13:46,783
"Where a spectacular...
196
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:50,022
once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity awaits you."
197
00:13:50,095 --> 00:13:52,029
That's all I know.
198
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:54,861
- What do you think?
- I think it's some kind of scam.
199
00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:57,493
Good! A scam! We'll do it.
200
00:13:57,569 --> 00:14:00,538
- I'll need to see some I.D.
- Okay.
201
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:15,812
There. I gambled.
202
00:14:22,394 --> 00:14:23,762
Family vacation? These are
the moments you got to savor, right?
203
00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:26,287
Family vacation? These are
the moments you got to savor, right?
204
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,993
- They'll never come around again.
- Exactly.
205
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:31,661
Excuse me.
Do you know what's going on?
206
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,671
Free grub.
That's what's going on.
207
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:36,207
This room is fabulous.
208
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:39,574
- Does anybody know why we're here?
- Beats me.
209
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:42,614
Oh, my God.
210
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:44,740
You should sue somebody.
211
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:46,341
I did it myself.
212
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:49,854
- What?
- He did it himself from a kit.
213
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:55,189
I knew I recognized you.
You're the referee... the bonehead.
214
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:58,855
That's just the media
blowing it out of proportion.
215
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:03,197
My hairdresser's husband
lost $800 because of you.
216
00:15:03,268 --> 00:15:05,793
- Everybody thinks we flip quarters.
- Can I have a picture with you?
217
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,930
It's really
a commemorative coin. Look.
218
00:15:08,006 --> 00:15:09,940
- Smile.
- Please. You...
219
00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:16,538
Am I too late?
Look. I won a coin.
220
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:21,848
A gold coin.
Isn't this wonderful?
221
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,115
Look at this room.
222
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:29,354
What a beautiful room.
Have you seen this room?
223
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,420
Yes! We're in it.
224
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,691
I am Enrico Pollini.
225
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:42,069
Now, I know what you are thinking.
Enrico is a girl's name.
226
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:44,904
- No, I wasn't.
- No pun intended.
227
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:49,744
- What pun is that?
- Food. Look at all this food.
228
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:55,651
What a beautiful party.
Little cockdoggies.
229
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:57,382
They're called
cocktail wienies.
230
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:02,325
Wienies. I'm so sorry.
My English is not so good.
231
00:16:02,394 --> 00:16:05,158
But I'm learning.
232
00:16:05,230 --> 00:16:07,698
That's it. Vera.
We're outta here.
233
00:16:07,766 --> 00:16:10,098
- I want to say good-bye. Bye, y'all.
- Excuse me.
234
00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:15,037
Thank you all for coming. I'm
Donald Sinclair. I own this hotel.
235
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,268
We don't have much time.
236
00:16:17,342 --> 00:16:23,042
There's a meteor the size of North
Carolina heading straight for Earth.
237
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:28,382
The impact is going to kill every
thing and everyone on this planet.
238
00:16:28,453 --> 00:16:33,288
I built a bunker in the basement
strong enough to withstand the blast.
239
00:16:33,358 --> 00:16:36,418
There's room for eight people. I have
chosen the seven of you, plus me.
240
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:42,195
When this is over, we will repopulate
and re-civilize the planet.
241
00:16:51,209 --> 00:16:55,543
I couldn't resist! I'm sorry.
242
00:16:59,051 --> 00:17:01,713
A joke. He made a joke.
243
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:06,156
Do sit down, please. Merrill, you
and your mother can sit over here.
244
00:17:06,224 --> 00:17:09,887
- How do you know she's my mother?
- Alas, there are no secrets anymore.
245
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:14,228
Actually, that's not quite true.
There is one secret, one last secret.
246
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:18,793
It involves all of you.
247
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:23,730
- I'm getting goose pimples.
- Hey...
248
00:17:24,776 --> 00:17:26,573
Ah, Mr. Schaffer!
249
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:30,376
Curiosity got the better
of you, eh? Come and sit down.
250
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:34,351
- I'm fine. Thanks.
- You haven't missed anything.
251
00:17:34,419 --> 00:17:36,387
We were just
cutting to the chase.
252
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:39,219
Cutting to the chase.
253
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,721
Well, you'll laugh later.
254
00:17:44,796 --> 00:17:48,562
Now, as you know, the odds against
winning a jackpot downstairs...
255
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,933
or hitting the state lottery
are astronomical... millions to one.
256
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:55,701
A serious person doesn't
even bother, but today...
257
00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:59,175
you have the chance
of playing a game...
258
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:02,111
where the odds of winning
are one in six.
259
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:05,047
One in six.
260
00:18:06,284 --> 00:18:07,683
It's one throw...
261
00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:12,180
of the dice.
262
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:18,660
This is my attorney,
Mr. Grisham...
263
00:18:18,730 --> 00:18:22,097
who tragically was born
without a personality.
264
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:26,570
Mr. Grisham insists anyone who wishes
to participate in our experiment...
265
00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:31,575
sign this waiver, absolving the casino
from responsibility or damages...
266
00:18:31,643 --> 00:18:35,477
personal liability,
blah, blah, blah.
267
00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:38,948
So, who do you like, Claude?
268
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:42,009
The young woman in the black coat.
She looks desperate.
269
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:44,521
Yes, but she has
her mother with her.
270
00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:48,286
- That could slow her down, hmm?
- Perhaps.
271
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,796
Now, 563 miles from here...
272
00:18:51,863 --> 00:18:54,957
is a little town called
Silver City, New Mexico.
273
00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:57,297
- Gold rush.
- Quite right, Nick.
274
00:18:57,369 --> 00:18:59,735
Yes, they struck gold there
in 1860.
275
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,575
It was the second largest
gold rush in American history.
276
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:07,236
Very good, Nick. I think
Nick should be our captain.
277
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:13,845
In downtown Silver City,
there's a train station.
278
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:16,649
As you go in the front door,
there's some lockers on the right.
279
00:19:16,722 --> 00:19:19,122
Mr. Grisham,
do you have the keys?
280
00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:22,183
Six identical keys.
281
00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,360
They all open the same locker.
282
00:19:25,431 --> 00:19:28,298
That's locker 001.
283
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:32,064
Inside the locker is a red duffel
bag. Inside the red duffel bag...
284
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:34,435
is $2 million.
285
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:39,307
In cash, fifties and hundreds,
makes a pile about so big.
286
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:42,404
First one there keeps it all.
287
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:48,815
I put transmitting devices in
your key rings to keep track of you.
288
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:52,948
And that's it.
289
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:53,957
Go.
290
00:19:56,662 --> 00:19:58,994
You just can't pick people
at random.
291
00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,430
I can do anything I like, Owen.
I'm eccentric.
292
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:04,000
Go!
293
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:06,799
Wait, wait.
So, it's like a race?
294
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:10,203
A race. It's a race.
295
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,368
I hope I win.
296
00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:14,742
What are the rules?
297
00:20:14,813 --> 00:20:18,579
There's only one rule.
Are you ready? Here it is.
298
00:20:19,318 --> 00:20:22,685
There are no rules.
299
00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:24,689
Go.
300
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:27,982
Go!
301
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:32,394
So now when you say, "Go,"
you mean just go?
302
00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:35,922
Begin, commence, start moving.
303
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:39,937
Theoretically, you have been
racing for about 40 seconds.
304
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,530
So far, Mr. Schaffer is winning...
305
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:45,543
because he's nearest to the door.
306
00:20:53,452 --> 00:20:55,215
You're crazy!
307
00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:59,314
A race! A race!
You have to pace yourself.
308
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:03,327
Carbohydrate is important.
Pasta is good.
309
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:06,023
Breathing is important.
310
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:10,957
Scusi. One...
311
00:21:11,837 --> 00:21:14,704
It's some sort of joke.
It has to be.
312
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:18,106
What kind of jackass
just gives away $2 million?
313
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:20,702
Maybe it's a publicity stunt.
314
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:24,112
What kind of publicity?
He swore us all to secrecy.
315
00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:28,984
- Maybe it's a secret publicity stunt.
- A secret publicity stunt?
316
00:21:29,054 --> 00:21:30,487
Yes!
317
00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:32,615
I don't know what his angle is,
but there's always an angle.
318
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:35,751
Donald Sinclair... People like him
make millions of dollars...
319
00:21:35,828 --> 00:21:38,558
playing people
like us for chumps.
320
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:40,825
- I'm nobody's chump.
- So you don't believe...
321
00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:44,733
11:30, nonstop to Chicago.
I'm gonna be on it.
322
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:47,666
You know what? He's right.
323
00:21:47,740 --> 00:21:50,231
I'm not cuttin' short
my first family vacation...
324
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,834
in three years to go on
some half-assed wild goose chase.
325
00:21:52,911 --> 00:21:56,642
Okay, so,
you're not goin' for it?
326
00:21:58,717 --> 00:22:00,412
I don't think so.
327
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:03,114
- Not me, no.
- No. Great.
328
00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:05,622
- I guess that's that, huh?
- Right.
329
00:22:05,691 --> 00:22:08,387
It was nice meetin' y'all.
I'm gonna take the stairs.
330
00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:11,429
My room's just two floors down,
so nice meetin' ya.
331
00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:13,727
Hey, have a nice vacation.
332
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,198
You know, it's probably stuck.
333
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:27,312
I think I'm gonna
take the stairs too.
334
00:22:35,621 --> 00:22:36,883
Crap.
335
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:42,324
- Go, go, go, go!
- Come on, Vera!
336
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:49,659
Watch out!
337
00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:53,064
Comin' through!
338
00:22:57,843 --> 00:22:59,538
Hold the door, please.
339
00:22:59,611 --> 00:23:02,375
Take your time. No rush.
340
00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:04,472
- Get up!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
341
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:09,214
If we're all gonna go for it,
why don't we go for it together?
342
00:23:09,288 --> 00:23:12,314
You know, split the money 50-50.
343
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:16,191
- Fifty-fifty?
- You know what I mean. Whatever.
344
00:23:16,261 --> 00:23:18,195
Yes, yes, that's a good plan.
345
00:23:18,263 --> 00:23:21,357
It's a race. It's a race.
346
00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:24,561
I'm winning. I'm winning.
347
00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,569
And they're off!
348
00:23:30,776 --> 00:23:35,873
No one... No one is offering you
action like this.
349
00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:39,111
A horse race with animals
that can think and plan...
350
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:44,019
and lie and cheat
and play dirty.
351
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:47,354
It's the gambling experience
of a lifetime.
352
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:51,726
It's my way of saying
I understand men like you.
353
00:23:51,797 --> 00:23:53,628
I know what you want.
I know what you need.
354
00:23:53,699 --> 00:23:58,602
This casino... my casino...
is where you belong.
355
00:24:00,873 --> 00:24:03,307
- I got it!
- Excuse me!
356
00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:05,741
- To the airport.
- You got it.
357
00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:08,439
We're out the door.
I don't see you. Where are you?
358
00:24:08,513 --> 00:24:12,916
- I forgot to tip the maid.
- Forget the maid. There he is!
359
00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:15,385
- Come on! Let's go!
- Okay, okay.
360
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:20,721
Bev, this is a real job!
I swear!
361
00:24:22,127 --> 00:24:23,458
What is it?
362
00:24:25,631 --> 00:24:27,656
The job? What's the job?
363
00:24:29,835 --> 00:24:32,235
Ink for fountain pens.
364
00:24:34,673 --> 00:24:37,642
- And they're in New Mexico?
- Silver City, New Mexico.
365
00:24:37,709 --> 00:24:41,440
I love New Mexico.
Honey, we'll go with you.
366
00:24:41,513 --> 00:24:44,277
- No!
- Why not?
367
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:49,280
Because we've already paid for the
room. Now look who's wasting money.
368
00:24:50,355 --> 00:24:52,323
This was your idea to stop here.
369
00:24:52,391 --> 00:24:55,360
I don't care about David Copperfield.
We're on vacation. We'll go with you.
370
00:24:55,427 --> 00:24:58,919
- But you don't understand...
- We will go with you!
371
00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:03,358
- Fine.
- Yes!
372
00:25:03,435 --> 00:25:06,370
Fine. Fine. Here. Call the bellman.
Have him bring the van around.
373
00:25:06,438 --> 00:25:08,531
- You happy? You happy?
- Okay.
374
00:25:08,607 --> 00:25:13,067
Scusi. Scusi.
I'm in a race. Scusi.
375
00:25:13,145 --> 00:25:15,909
Scusi. It's a race.
376
00:25:30,095 --> 00:25:33,622
- What is he doing?
- I think he's sleeping.
377
00:25:33,699 --> 00:25:35,667
- Sleeping?
- He must be narcoleptic.
378
00:25:35,734 --> 00:25:37,668
It's a rare sleeping disorder.
379
00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:41,103
- But I bet on him!
- So did I. Two million dollars.
380
00:25:41,173 --> 00:25:43,698
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
All the bets are locked in.
381
00:25:43,775 --> 00:25:45,743
Sleeping! Sleeping!
382
00:25:54,252 --> 00:25:56,345
- Look out!
- Don't tell me how to drive!
383
00:25:56,421 --> 00:25:58,048
It's only yellow.
It's only yellow. Run it!
384
00:26:00,092 --> 00:26:03,755
- Where's my video game?
- Seat belts, everyone.
385
00:26:03,829 --> 00:26:08,232
- Honey, what is the rush?
- It's the opportunity of a lifetime.
386
00:26:08,300 --> 00:26:11,064
You're not just a travel agent,
Roger. You're an angel.
387
00:26:11,136 --> 00:26:13,730
There's one charter plane
available in Las Vegas.
388
00:26:13,805 --> 00:26:15,773
We just bagged it.
389
00:26:15,841 --> 00:26:17,775
- Back to pass.
- Get rid of it.
390
00:26:17,843 --> 00:26:21,335
- Looks to his left.
- Get rid of it. Throw the ball!
391
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:23,938
That's why you're not
gonna get drafted!
392
00:26:24,016 --> 00:26:27,042
You'll be lucky to play
arena football in Barcelona!
393
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,952
- You like football?
- Sure.
394
00:26:30,022 --> 00:26:34,049
Did you happen to catch
that Dallas game last week?
395
00:26:34,126 --> 00:26:39,189
It was an obscenity.
It was a crime against football.
396
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:41,994
I lost 20 grand on that game!
And they would have won!
397
00:26:42,067 --> 00:26:45,525
Now I gotta work two shifts
because of that idiot!
398
00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:49,768
Stevie Wonder could have done
a better job calling that game.
399
00:26:51,977 --> 00:26:53,911
Where the hell's the airport?
400
00:26:55,914 --> 00:26:59,509
One flip of the coin and the franchise
goes straight down the crapper.
401
00:26:59,584 --> 00:27:01,711
- That'll be 10.50, buddy.
- Keep the change.
402
00:27:02,821 --> 00:27:06,382
Thanks a lot.
You have a nice flight. Yeah!
403
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,585
You know who that was?
404
00:27:08,660 --> 00:27:12,687
That was the ref. The guy
from the game? The coin toss!
405
00:27:12,764 --> 00:27:15,699
Oh, my God!
You're right! That was him!
406
00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:18,069
I had him in the cab,
and I let him go!
407
00:27:18,202 --> 00:27:20,864
- Where are we going?
- We gotta go. Come on. Just go.
408
00:27:20,938 --> 00:27:24,169
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- Chumps.
409
00:27:49,533 --> 00:27:51,694
Excuse me. Hi.
410
00:27:52,436 --> 00:27:55,872
- I'm not a creep or anything.
- I don't have any quarters.
411
00:27:58,209 --> 00:28:01,474
I never do this, but I'm
reading the same book you are.
412
00:28:01,545 --> 00:28:03,706
Look. See? Lindbergh.
413
00:28:03,781 --> 00:28:05,715
It's fantastic, isn't it?
414
00:28:05,783 --> 00:28:09,617
- What part are you on?
- He just had a sex change.
415
00:28:09,687 --> 00:28:11,780
Who did? Lindbergh?
416
00:28:11,856 --> 00:28:14,290
- Sex change?
- Yeah.
417
00:28:18,395 --> 00:28:19,692
That's funny.
418
00:28:19,763 --> 00:28:21,560
- I thought so.
- That's funny.
419
00:28:21,632 --> 00:28:23,566
I wouldn't be too proud
of yourself though.
420
00:28:23,634 --> 00:28:25,568
I'm the most gullible guy
in Chicago.
421
00:28:29,106 --> 00:28:30,664
Can I buy you a drink?
422
00:28:31,675 --> 00:28:33,233
I can't. I'm flying.
423
00:28:33,310 --> 00:28:38,407
- So, it'll relax you.
- I mean, I'm flying. I'm a pilot.
424
00:28:41,819 --> 00:28:44,652
Pilot? Are there
a lot of female pilots?
425
00:28:45,723 --> 00:28:47,315
There's at least one.
426
00:28:50,494 --> 00:28:53,895
When I walk away, I'm gonna think
of something great to say to that.
427
00:28:53,964 --> 00:28:56,592
Good. Mail it to me.
428
00:29:01,772 --> 00:29:04,036
Flight 115 to
Albuquerque, New Mexico.
429
00:29:04,108 --> 00:29:07,134
- Gate 17. You better hurry.
- Four tickets to Albuquerque.
430
00:29:07,211 --> 00:29:10,044
- Near the front of the plane. Please.
- All right.
431
00:29:10,114 --> 00:29:12,048
Come on!
432
00:29:12,950 --> 00:29:16,078
This is so exciting. I've never
been on a private plane before.
433
00:29:16,153 --> 00:29:18,178
This is bigger than my condo.
434
00:29:18,255 --> 00:29:20,951
- Gentlemen, what's our ETA?
- One hour and ten minutes.
435
00:29:21,725 --> 00:29:24,193
If you can do it in less than
an hour, I'll buy you both dinner.
436
00:29:24,261 --> 00:29:25,956
You're on...
437
00:29:26,030 --> 00:29:29,056
- Watch it. Move. Excuse me. Move.
- Move! Move! Move!
438
00:29:29,133 --> 00:29:31,067
- Who was next?
- I was!
439
00:29:31,135 --> 00:29:32,397
- I was!
- I was!
440
00:29:32,469 --> 00:29:35,199
- What? You were not next!
- Are you callin' me a liar?
441
00:29:35,272 --> 00:29:38,969
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.
We've been in line over 20 minutes.
442
00:29:39,043 --> 00:29:42,410
- Is that the correct time?
- Hey! Whoa!
443
00:29:42,479 --> 00:29:44,709
Yes, it is.
444
00:29:45,716 --> 00:29:47,980
- Who's next?
- They were, right there.
445
00:29:48,052 --> 00:29:50,816
Two tickets to Albuquerque.
446
00:29:50,888 --> 00:29:55,257
I'm sorry. We're completely booked.
There's nothing.
447
00:29:55,326 --> 00:29:58,090
There's a 4:30,
but you have to switch in Dallas.
448
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:07,601
What do you mean that's it? I'm
not givin' up and neither are you.
449
00:30:07,671 --> 00:30:11,368
And neither am I!
I'll tell you something, brother.
450
00:30:11,442 --> 00:30:15,378
If we're not flyin' outta here,
no one is flyin' outta here.
451
00:31:15,306 --> 00:31:16,739
That can't be good.
452
00:31:24,148 --> 00:31:26,742
Duane!
453
00:31:38,829 --> 00:31:40,319
No!
454
00:31:48,739 --> 00:31:51,264
Blaine! Blaine!
455
00:31:54,311 --> 00:31:58,008
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
456
00:32:04,388 --> 00:32:06,015
Shit!
457
00:32:16,867 --> 00:32:20,234
I can't!
458
00:32:20,304 --> 00:32:24,434
What are you doin'?
I don't know where to go!
459
00:32:24,508 --> 00:32:26,442
- Move!
- Trying to kill me?
460
00:32:26,510 --> 00:32:30,810
Duane, stop the car!
Stop the car!
461
00:32:41,892 --> 00:32:45,919
Whoa, girl! Jesus!
462
00:32:59,309 --> 00:33:02,745
Freeze everything, every flight.
Get me Central Operations.
463
00:33:05,015 --> 00:33:06,949
Attention all passengers.
464
00:33:07,017 --> 00:33:09,485
Due to a technical problem
with our radar tracking system...
465
00:33:09,553 --> 00:33:12,021
all flights are postponed
until further notice.
466
00:33:12,089 --> 00:33:15,286
We apologize for
any inconvenience.
467
00:33:16,860 --> 00:33:17,792
We gotta go.
468
00:33:17,861 --> 00:33:19,158
- Hurry up!
- The bags?
469
00:33:19,229 --> 00:33:21,163
Forget the bags! Let's go!
470
00:33:21,231 --> 00:33:23,529
Comin' through!
471
00:33:24,601 --> 00:33:27,832
- This is your license?
- Yes, it is.
472
00:33:28,906 --> 00:33:30,840
- Where was it issued?
- In Guam.
473
00:33:34,778 --> 00:33:37,440
Just head east,
and I'm in a hurry.
474
00:33:38,315 --> 00:33:42,718
Hello again. East it is.
475
00:33:44,254 --> 00:33:47,314
We have a midsized Caprice.
476
00:33:47,391 --> 00:33:49,985
- What color is it?
- We don't care about color.
477
00:33:50,060 --> 00:33:52,688
Just give us whatever car
is parked closest to the door.
478
00:33:52,763 --> 00:33:55,288
Ask about insurance.
479
00:33:55,365 --> 00:33:58,664
Would you be interested
in purchasing liability insurance?
480
00:33:58,735 --> 00:34:01,329
- How much is it?
- It doesn't matter. We'll take it.
481
00:34:01,405 --> 00:34:03,396
Just hurry.
482
00:34:06,643 --> 00:34:09,806
Hit enter. Now shift.
483
00:34:10,881 --> 00:34:13,247
Shift key. Right there. Yeah.
484
00:34:16,987 --> 00:34:18,420
Hey, watch it!
485
00:34:18,489 --> 00:34:21,686
Bus! White people!
486
00:34:24,561 --> 00:34:25,493
Idiot!
487
00:34:26,563 --> 00:34:28,690
Okay, I've got one.
488
00:34:29,766 --> 00:34:32,064
- What?
- A great comeback.
489
00:34:34,338 --> 00:34:36,397
I said, "Are there
a lot of female pilots?"
490
00:34:36,473 --> 00:34:38,464
And you said,
"There's at least one."
491
00:34:38,542 --> 00:34:42,000
I should have said,
"Two if you count Lindbergh."
492
00:34:43,113 --> 00:34:45,104
'Cause you said
he had a sex change.
493
00:34:45,782 --> 00:34:47,716
It's a work in progress.
494
00:34:47,784 --> 00:34:50,116
- I'm Nick Schaffer.
- Tracy Faucet.
495
00:34:50,187 --> 00:34:52,178
So I guess you can have
that drink now.
496
00:34:52,256 --> 00:34:55,714
I told you I'm flying. I'm leaving
for Roswell in five minutes.
497
00:34:55,792 --> 00:34:58,056
Didn't you hear?
Everybody's grounded.
498
00:34:58,128 --> 00:35:02,258
That's for fixed wing. I'm in a
chopper. We use a different system.
499
00:35:08,505 --> 00:35:10,939
Roswell, New Mexico?
500
00:35:12,476 --> 00:35:15,775
- You're flying to New Mexico?
- We've been flying down all week.
501
00:35:15,846 --> 00:35:17,848
They're repainting
the whole fleet.
502
00:35:21,852 --> 00:35:26,152
You can fly.
Nobody else can fly.
503
00:35:26,223 --> 00:35:29,317
But you can fly.
504
00:35:29,392 --> 00:35:32,384
- And you're flying to New Mexico.
- Yeah.
505
00:35:32,462 --> 00:35:35,556
- But nobody else can fly.
- Yeah.
506
00:35:35,632 --> 00:35:38,897
Do you need a ride?
507
00:35:42,372 --> 00:35:44,897
Come on!
508
00:35:50,313 --> 00:35:53,111
- Coconut.
- Coconut! Who had coconut?
509
00:35:53,183 --> 00:35:55,981
I did.
510
00:35:56,052 --> 00:35:57,781
Phil.
511
00:35:59,356 --> 00:36:01,449
That's the kind of car
that I'm gettin'.
512
00:36:01,524 --> 00:36:04,288
- Yeah? Don't count on it.
- Why not?
513
00:36:04,361 --> 00:36:07,353
Because the Volkswagen Beetle
was used by the Nazis.
514
00:36:07,430 --> 00:36:10,695
I would not be comfortable
driving around in one.
515
00:36:10,767 --> 00:36:15,204
- So, don't drive it. I will.
- Dad, I have to go.
516
00:36:15,272 --> 00:36:18,764
- No, you don't.
- Yes, I do. I really do.
517
00:36:18,842 --> 00:36:23,142
- We just stopped!
- The bathroom was too gross.
518
00:36:23,213 --> 00:36:27,309
- Well, can't you hold it in?
- I can't! It's an emergency.
519
00:36:27,384 --> 00:36:29,318
Honey, there's a restaurant.
520
00:36:29,386 --> 00:36:32,355
That's three miles down and
then back. We lose ten minutes.
521
00:36:32,422 --> 00:36:34,652
So what? Your daughter
has to go to the bathroom.
522
00:36:34,724 --> 00:36:37,124
- Please stop, Dad.
- All right.
523
00:36:37,193 --> 00:36:39,821
Jason, look back there
for an empty jar.
524
00:36:39,896 --> 00:36:41,955
Ajar? Girls don't pee in jars.
525
00:36:42,032 --> 00:36:43,966
All right, sorry.
526
00:36:44,034 --> 00:36:47,697
Jason, we're gonna
need a jar and a funnel.
527
00:36:47,771 --> 00:36:50,365
Dad, I don't have to pee.
It's number two!
528
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:54,877
- Sorry, I can't stop.
- Dad, I'm prairie-dogging it.
529
00:36:54,945 --> 00:36:56,378
What does that mean?
530
00:36:56,446 --> 00:37:00,143
Like when a prairie dog sticks
his head in and out of the ground.
531
00:37:04,788 --> 00:37:07,313
I do not want
to picture that.
532
00:37:08,391 --> 00:37:11,019
Yes, sir, Silver City it is.
533
00:37:11,094 --> 00:37:14,393
- Buddy.
- It's about 700 miles.
534
00:37:14,464 --> 00:37:18,833
- You don't mind, do ya?
- Oh, no. No, no, I don't mind.
535
00:37:18,902 --> 00:37:22,303
A job's just
another job for me.
536
00:37:22,372 --> 00:37:25,364
About how much you think
that's gonna cost?
537
00:37:25,442 --> 00:37:30,175
I wouldn't worry about it.
Tell you what.
538
00:37:30,246 --> 00:37:34,444
You just pay me
whatever you think is fair...
539
00:37:34,517 --> 00:37:39,352
'cause I trust your judgment.
540
00:37:39,422 --> 00:37:42,414
I hate you. I hate you!
541
00:37:42,492 --> 00:37:46,758
Nobody look. I'm gonna turn on
the radio, so nobody can hear you.
542
00:37:46,830 --> 00:37:48,764
I'll never forgive you.
I hate you.
543
00:37:48,832 --> 00:37:51,426
Nobody can hear you, honey.
Push away.
544
00:38:00,043 --> 00:38:03,171
I'm gonna drop you off there. There's
a parking lot near the hospital.
545
00:38:03,246 --> 00:38:06,773
- Great. Great.
- So what's wrong with her?
546
00:38:06,850 --> 00:38:09,751
- Who?
- Your sister. You said it's serious.
547
00:38:12,389 --> 00:38:14,653
Yeah. Shark bite.
548
00:38:15,725 --> 00:38:18,489
- A shark bite?
- Yeah.
549
00:38:18,561 --> 00:38:21,189
They took her to Silver City?
550
00:38:21,264 --> 00:38:24,631
They have a really good
shark attack unit there.
551
00:38:32,575 --> 00:38:34,509
How fast was I going?
552
00:38:42,152 --> 00:38:46,111
- Where are we?
- It's a shortcut I know.
553
00:38:46,189 --> 00:38:50,182
- Maybe we should stick to the highway.
- There's a thought.
554
00:38:50,260 --> 00:38:54,492
You say stick to the highway.
I say we should take my shortcut.
555
00:38:54,564 --> 00:38:59,263
- Why don't we just flip a coin?
- It's not what you think.
556
00:38:59,335 --> 00:39:02,634
- Come on, you blind son of a bitch!
- Wait! Stop it!
557
00:39:02,705 --> 00:39:06,436
Give me that goddamn whistle!
I'm gonna shove it up your ass!
558
00:39:06,509 --> 00:39:08,704
Come back here!
559
00:39:11,948 --> 00:39:14,746
Shit.
560
00:39:16,953 --> 00:39:19,478
I'll kill him.
561
00:39:36,940 --> 00:39:38,908
- Squirrel?
- No, thank you.
562
00:39:38,975 --> 00:39:41,409
We're looking for the interstate.
563
00:39:41,478 --> 00:39:45,005
I get that a lot
'cause of the detour.
564
00:39:46,316 --> 00:39:49,149
Now they've lost their way.
565
00:39:49,219 --> 00:39:53,383
Now they can't go home.
You sure you don't want one?
566
00:39:53,456 --> 00:39:55,151
We're sure. Thank you.
567
00:39:55,225 --> 00:39:58,888
They make crackerjack pets.
I taught this one to shake hands.
568
00:39:58,962 --> 00:40:03,058
He's not for sale though. Who wants
to go home with the nice ladies?
569
00:40:03,133 --> 00:40:06,432
"Pick me. Pick me.
Don't be afraid. I don't bite.
570
00:40:06,503 --> 00:40:10,872
- What's your name, pretty lady?"
- Vera.
571
00:40:10,940 --> 00:40:13,340
Ma'am, really.
We're not interested.
572
00:40:13,409 --> 00:40:16,503
Well, I'm not talkin' to you, am I?
I'm talkin' to Vera.
573
00:40:16,579 --> 00:40:21,016
What about Bucky here? He loves
to climb trees and eat nuts.
574
00:40:21,084 --> 00:40:23,177
Ma'am, we do not
want a squirrel.
575
00:40:23,253 --> 00:40:25,380
Do you or do you not know
where the interstate is?
576
00:40:25,455 --> 00:40:28,856
Of course I do. I'm not retarded.
"Tell 'em about the shortcut."
577
00:40:28,925 --> 00:40:31,291
Thank you, Bucky.
578
00:40:31,361 --> 00:40:34,797
I almost forgot.
There's a dandy shortcut.
579
00:40:34,864 --> 00:40:37,560
It'll bring you right to exit 14.
It'll save you 30 miles.
580
00:40:38,601 --> 00:40:40,694
Now listen carefully.
581
00:40:40,770 --> 00:40:44,228
You want to go straight
down here exactly 1.8 miles.
582
00:40:44,307 --> 00:40:48,607
- 1.8.
- Make a left at Totem Pole Ranch.
583
00:40:48,678 --> 00:40:51,442
Go 5.4 miles and
you're gonna go up a big hill.
584
00:40:51,514 --> 00:40:55,109
You'll see a big yellow sign
with some graffiti on it.
585
00:40:55,185 --> 00:40:59,747
Take the dirt road on the right.
It'll take you to the interstate.
586
00:40:59,822 --> 00:41:01,084
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
587
00:41:01,157 --> 00:41:05,526
Wait a minute.
Take some nuts with you...
588
00:41:05,595 --> 00:41:08,257
just in case
you see a squirrel, okay?
589
00:41:09,732 --> 00:41:14,169
"Bye. Bye.
You could have bought me."
590
00:41:14,237 --> 00:41:16,967
You'll make it. You'll make it.
591
00:41:23,580 --> 00:41:25,275
Where am I?
592
00:41:28,818 --> 00:41:31,946
Wow! A Barbie Museum!
Can we stop?
593
00:41:32,021 --> 00:41:36,355
Sorry, Kimmy. We have a plan,
and we're gonna stick to the plan.
594
00:41:36,426 --> 00:41:38,860
Please, Daddy. Please, please,
please, please, please.
595
00:41:38,928 --> 00:41:41,328
- Hey, hey!
- It's not fair.
596
00:41:41,397 --> 00:41:44,025
We never get to stop
anywhere I want to.
597
00:41:44,100 --> 00:41:47,331
I'm sure Jason doesn't want
to go to the Barbie Museum.
598
00:41:47,403 --> 00:41:50,839
You kiddin'? I'll stop anywhere.
I'm wiggin' out back here.
599
00:41:50,907 --> 00:41:54,536
You need to pull over and stop
to give the kids a break.
600
00:41:54,611 --> 00:41:56,511
Yeah, okay,
maybe on the way back.
601
00:41:56,579 --> 00:41:58,604
- Stop the car.
- I can't do that.
602
00:41:58,681 --> 00:42:00,672
- We all need to stop the car.
- No can do.
603
00:42:00,750 --> 00:42:03,116
- You need to stop the car.
- No!
604
00:42:03,186 --> 00:42:04,653
Stop the car!
605
00:42:11,361 --> 00:42:13,886
Okay, fine, but 10 minutes.
606
00:42:13,963 --> 00:42:17,296
Wow! The Barbie Museum.
607
00:42:18,368 --> 00:42:19,699
Klaus Barbie...
608
00:42:19,769 --> 00:42:22,067
sometimes known as
the Butcher of Lyons.
609
00:42:22,138 --> 00:42:26,165
Let the Jew revisionists
talk about their death camps...
610
00:42:26,242 --> 00:42:29,177
and so-called crimes
against humanity.
611
00:42:29,245 --> 00:42:34,706
This museum is lovingly dedicated to
the Klaus Barbie that nobody knows.
612
00:42:34,784 --> 00:42:38,550
The husband, the devoted father,
the wine connoisseur...
613
00:42:38,621 --> 00:42:41,556
and three-time
ballroom dancing champion.
614
00:42:48,665 --> 00:42:51,429
Hey, hey, there's that guy,
the "udgy" one.
615
00:42:53,803 --> 00:42:57,170
Barbie joined
the SS in 1935...
616
00:42:57,240 --> 00:43:01,074
where he soon became one of
the Fuhrer's favorite young officers.
617
00:43:01,144 --> 00:43:03,578
Can we go?
618
00:43:03,646 --> 00:43:06,843
Here we see him standing
beside Hitler's touring car...
619
00:43:06,916 --> 00:43:11,046
the very same car on display
outside in our courtyard.
620
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:12,382
You're leaving?
621
00:43:13,956 --> 00:43:16,015
What...
622
00:43:16,092 --> 00:43:20,825
No... Yes. Well, we have a 4:30
book burning, and then we have a...
623
00:43:20,897 --> 00:43:22,922
- A christening.
- Yes, a christening...
624
00:43:22,999 --> 00:43:27,026
for one of our many white,
Christian, non-Jewish friends...
625
00:43:27,103 --> 00:43:32,769
- Family. Blood relatives.
- The Himmler Hessin Von Sturichberg...
626
00:43:32,842 --> 00:43:35,333
- Thank you so much.
- Yes, love your do.
627
00:43:35,411 --> 00:43:37,436
Thank you. It's beautiful.
We had a great time.
628
00:43:38,781 --> 00:43:40,442
Wow! A gift shop.
629
00:43:40,516 --> 00:43:43,815
Yes, I know, honey. Next time.
I promise. I really do.
630
00:43:43,886 --> 00:43:45,877
Just go. Just go.
631
00:43:45,955 --> 00:43:50,654
- Oh, my God! We've been cut!
- What do we do now?
632
00:43:51,728 --> 00:43:53,195
I say we take
the interstate.
633
00:43:53,262 --> 00:43:56,789
No, "ake" Highway "well."
That's a shortcut.
634
00:43:56,866 --> 00:44:00,563
You don't know what the shortcut
is. It could be a dirt road.
635
00:44:00,636 --> 00:44:04,538
You know what? There are
"oo" of us. Why don't we separate?
636
00:44:04,607 --> 00:44:07,576
- What?
- There's "oo" of us.
637
00:44:07,643 --> 00:44:11,079
"Amy" we should "ust" separate.
638
00:44:11,147 --> 00:44:14,844
You're right. You're a genius.
There's two of us.
639
00:44:14,917 --> 00:44:17,852
If we separate and you steal a car,
we can both go our own way...
640
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:19,888
and double our chances
of gettin' there first.
641
00:44:19,956 --> 00:44:22,516
All right. You take the...
642
00:44:22,592 --> 00:44:24,890
We only got one "ee."
643
00:44:27,330 --> 00:44:31,460
Look, there it is.
Totem Pole Ranch, turn left.
644
00:44:31,534 --> 00:44:35,868
1.8 miles exactly.
All right, squirrel lady.
645
00:44:39,876 --> 00:44:44,609
I can't believe it, Dad. You stole
Adolf Hitler's Mercedes-Benz.
646
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:48,946
Hitler had it comin'.
What goes around comes around.
647
00:44:49,018 --> 00:44:50,986
They're gonna be pissed.
648
00:44:51,053 --> 00:44:55,615
They're always pissed. They're
Nazis. It's like it's their job.
649
00:44:55,691 --> 00:45:00,993
When we get to Silver City, we'll
call 'em. We'll work somethin' out.
650
00:45:06,536 --> 00:45:07,969
North?
651
00:45:08,037 --> 00:45:10,471
A little detour.
It'll just take a minute.
652
00:45:10,540 --> 00:45:13,065
I just wanted to say hi
to my boyfriend.
653
00:45:21,317 --> 00:45:24,980
I can't believe it.
That... That son of a bitch!
654
00:45:25,054 --> 00:45:27,079
That's Charlene's car.
655
00:45:27,156 --> 00:45:30,523
- Charlene?
- His ex-girlfriend, or so I thought.
656
00:45:30,593 --> 00:45:34,791
Come on now. I'm sure there's
a perfectly innocent explanation.
657
00:45:34,864 --> 00:45:37,890
She probably came by just
to pick up some clothes or...
658
00:45:37,967 --> 00:45:40,993
Nice and warm.
659
00:45:47,210 --> 00:45:48,734
What the...
660
00:45:48,811 --> 00:45:51,075
Get down!
661
00:45:53,015 --> 00:45:56,610
Did I come at
a bad time, asshole?
662
00:45:59,255 --> 00:46:02,622
I'll ram this helicopter
right down your throat!
663
00:46:07,763 --> 00:46:08,855
What are you doing?
664
00:46:08,931 --> 00:46:13,698
Don't worry. My father's a navy pilot.
I've been flying since I was 15.
665
00:46:13,769 --> 00:46:16,636
I'm not worried about you.
I'm worried about me.
666
00:46:16,706 --> 00:46:21,268
Shawn, you have a minute? I want
to talk about our relationship.
667
00:46:35,391 --> 00:46:37,154
Suck on that, creep!
668
00:46:39,862 --> 00:46:42,797
- That's...
- Not the truck!
669
00:46:42,865 --> 00:46:45,800
Oh, my God!
670
00:46:45,868 --> 00:46:48,063
Come on. Help me. Open it.
671
00:46:48,137 --> 00:46:49,832
I'm not comfortable...
672
00:46:49,906 --> 00:46:51,840
- Open it!
- Okay.
673
00:46:58,347 --> 00:46:59,780
She's gonna kill me.
674
00:46:59,849 --> 00:47:02,409
- We should get outta here.
- Not yet!
675
00:47:03,519 --> 00:47:07,011
You two-timing,
backstabbing snake!
676
00:47:07,089 --> 00:47:09,250
You worm! You turd!
677
00:47:12,161 --> 00:47:17,861
My God! What was I thinking?
I want my five months back!
678
00:47:19,268 --> 00:47:21,828
I'm getting the tattoo removed!
679
00:47:25,908 --> 00:47:27,876
Stop hitting me!
680
00:47:27,944 --> 00:47:31,380
Where are you goin', baby?
Wait for me!
681
00:47:50,599 --> 00:47:55,366
- I think we just killed him.
- You can't! He's like a cockroach.
682
00:48:01,477 --> 00:48:02,910
Fix the...
683
00:48:07,083 --> 00:48:09,142
Should we be this low?
684
00:48:14,357 --> 00:48:17,724
Come on. Come on.
Let's keep goin'. Come on.
685
00:48:21,230 --> 00:48:24,597
We just violated
about 115 federal laws.
686
00:48:24,667 --> 00:48:27,329
- "We"?
- I'm getting out of here. Coming?
687
00:48:29,271 --> 00:48:31,205
I know things look bad...
688
00:48:33,342 --> 00:48:35,276
Nice meeting you.
689
00:48:38,481 --> 00:48:40,506
Get out of the truck, Shawn.
690
00:48:41,951 --> 00:48:44,044
That's it, Tracy.
You and I are through.
691
00:48:47,623 --> 00:48:49,215
Wait!
692
00:48:56,732 --> 00:49:00,395
Wait. This is the first illegal thing
I've done in my adult life.
693
00:49:00,469 --> 00:49:02,403
How does it feel?
694
00:49:02,471 --> 00:49:05,804
I'm shaking, but that could be
from the helicopter crash.
695
00:49:05,875 --> 00:49:10,141
- Get out of my truck, Tracy!
- It's my truck! I paid for it!
696
00:49:10,212 --> 00:49:11,804
- Who is this?
- Nobody.
697
00:49:11,881 --> 00:49:14,406
- You are nobody.
- Nobody.
698
00:49:14,483 --> 00:49:18,476
You stay away from her, nobody,
unless you're tired of livin'.
699
00:49:18,554 --> 00:49:22,786
While you're here, do me a favor.
Charlene left a bra in the truck.
700
00:49:22,858 --> 00:49:26,259
Could you make sure
she gets it? Thanks, honey.
701
00:49:26,328 --> 00:49:27,386
Help!
702
00:50:15,678 --> 00:50:18,670
- So where's the driver?
- He's in the powder room.
703
00:50:18,747 --> 00:50:22,478
Hell's bells. We're never
gonna get to Santa Fe by 3:00.
704
00:50:22,551 --> 00:50:24,485
- This is ridiculous.
- Ridiculous.
705
00:50:24,553 --> 00:50:28,591
I really wish he'd hurry.
It just seems very unprofessional.
706
00:50:35,531 --> 00:50:38,159
Mister, you gotta help me.
My wife...
707
00:50:38,233 --> 00:50:39,666
She's out back.
She's having a baby.
708
00:50:39,735 --> 00:50:41,703
- She's having a what?
- A baby!
709
00:50:41,770 --> 00:50:43,704
- She's having a baby?
- And it's halfway out!
710
00:50:43,772 --> 00:50:46,138
I can see the head!
711
00:50:46,208 --> 00:50:49,234
- I need your jacket.
- Why?
712
00:50:50,579 --> 00:50:53,480
For her amniotic sac!
713
00:50:53,549 --> 00:50:56,177
- Her amniotic fluid is gushing out.
- Gushing?
714
00:50:56,251 --> 00:50:59,414
The jacket! The jacket!
Give me the jacket!
715
00:50:59,488 --> 00:51:02,423
- And your pants.
- My pants?
716
00:51:02,491 --> 00:51:05,824
Your pants! Yeah, for her,
you know, her "placentia"...
717
00:51:05,894 --> 00:51:08,886
you know,
and her labia and cervical...
718
00:51:08,964 --> 00:51:12,161
Mucus gushing... It's gushing.
719
00:51:12,234 --> 00:51:15,761
It's just a hole and...
720
00:51:15,838 --> 00:51:18,204
Quick! The pants.
And the hat.
721
00:51:18,273 --> 00:51:20,002
Why? Why my hat?
722
00:51:22,111 --> 00:51:23,544
For her...
723
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:26,542
vagina.
724
00:51:29,918 --> 00:51:32,011
Let's go, ladies.
All aboard. We're on our way.
725
00:51:32,087 --> 00:51:36,615
- What happened to Marty?
- His wife's having a baby.
726
00:51:36,691 --> 00:51:40,422
- A baby?
- I'm Owen, your new driver. Let's go.
727
00:51:41,329 --> 00:51:42,921
Quiet. Quiet, everybody.
728
00:51:42,998 --> 00:51:44,932
Simmer down. Hey!
729
00:51:45,667 --> 00:51:48,966
We're gonna be under way
in just a minute. This is Owen.
730
00:51:49,037 --> 00:51:51,870
He's our new driver.
731
00:51:51,940 --> 00:51:54,408
Everyone say hello.
732
00:51:54,476 --> 00:51:58,378
Hello, Owen!
733
00:51:58,446 --> 00:52:01,006
Our next stop is
the third annual...
734
00:52:01,082 --> 00:52:05,109
I Love Lucy convention
in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
735
00:52:05,186 --> 00:52:08,952
- What do ya say?
- Ba-ba-loo!
736
00:52:23,171 --> 00:52:25,469
Ohh! Ohh!
737
00:52:42,424 --> 00:52:45,484
- Is he dead?
- Hey, mister, are you dead?
738
00:52:47,929 --> 00:52:50,989
It's a race.
It's a race. It's a race.
739
00:52:52,067 --> 00:52:55,468
Run, run,
like greased lightning.
740
00:52:56,271 --> 00:52:59,104
Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!
741
00:53:04,946 --> 00:53:07,210
Not good. Not good.
742
00:53:13,621 --> 00:53:16,215
Don't move! Stay there.
I saw the whole thing.
743
00:53:16,291 --> 00:53:17,553
I'll be right down.
744
00:53:17,625 --> 00:53:21,322
Shit! Gloria Allred.
745
00:53:21,396 --> 00:53:24,729
Hey, buddy?
Buddy, you okay? You okay?
746
00:53:24,799 --> 00:53:27,165
You're fine! You look great.
747
00:53:27,235 --> 00:53:29,226
- You want to report this?
- Taxi!
748
00:53:29,304 --> 00:53:31,272
You don't need a taxi.
Come on!
749
00:53:31,339 --> 00:53:33,330
Where you goin'?
Maybe I can drop you off.
750
00:53:33,408 --> 00:53:36,138
Silver City, New Mexico.
I am in a race.
751
00:53:36,211 --> 00:53:38,805
Silver City?
This is your lucky day!
752
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,849
I'm going to El Paso.
It's right on the way.
753
00:53:41,916 --> 00:53:45,750
Come on. But, look, I got
to be there by 7:00 tonight.
754
00:53:45,820 --> 00:53:48,846
- So I'm going to be driving fast.
- Great.
755
00:53:48,923 --> 00:53:49,855
Yeah!
756
00:53:51,292 --> 00:53:55,092
You just want one copy, 'cause
you get an extra one for half price?
757
00:53:55,163 --> 00:53:57,495
Just one and hurry.
758
00:53:57,565 --> 00:53:59,499
This is the best idea
you ever had.
759
00:53:59,567 --> 00:54:02,092
We split up. We take two keys.
We double our chances of winning.
760
00:54:02,170 --> 00:54:03,330
It can't fail.
761
00:54:03,404 --> 00:54:06,862
- You remember where we're goin'?
- Silver City, New Mexico.
762
00:54:06,941 --> 00:54:09,603
Right. Train station, locker 001.
763
00:54:09,677 --> 00:54:11,668
"Ero, ero," one.
764
00:54:11,746 --> 00:54:14,306
Rule number one: Discretion.
Don't talk to anybody.
765
00:54:14,382 --> 00:54:16,407
- I won't. I "romise."
- I'm serious.
766
00:54:16,484 --> 00:54:19,214
We're talking about
$2 million in cash.
767
00:54:19,287 --> 00:54:22,620
People would just kill us
to get their hands on that key.
768
00:54:22,690 --> 00:54:25,750
I love you.
769
00:54:26,728 --> 00:54:28,662
All right, little brother,
you steal a car.
770
00:54:28,730 --> 00:54:31,096
I'm gonna try to steal
that Corvette right there.
771
00:54:31,166 --> 00:54:33,100
I don't care what you get
as long as it's fast.
772
00:54:33,168 --> 00:54:36,399
I'll meet you in Silver City.
Don't forget your key.
773
00:54:38,206 --> 00:54:41,539
That "other-ucking" bastard!
774
00:54:41,609 --> 00:54:44,601
I'll kill 'im! I'm gonna...
775
00:54:48,183 --> 00:54:49,616
There he is!
776
00:54:50,852 --> 00:54:53,616
Go! Go!
777
00:54:54,689 --> 00:54:57,249
Okay, we're at 2.4 miles.
778
00:54:57,325 --> 00:54:58,815
There's the yellow sign
with the graffiti.
779
00:54:58,893 --> 00:55:00,588
- Turn right.
- I see it.
780
00:55:00,662 --> 00:55:02,061
- Do you see it?
- I see it.
781
00:55:02,130 --> 00:55:05,156
I just love this.
This is like a treasure hunt.
782
00:55:07,702 --> 00:55:10,170
- Slow down!
- I can't!
783
00:55:14,642 --> 00:55:16,735
Help!
784
00:55:46,074 --> 00:55:50,443
I guess my favorite episode, if I
had to pick one, would be episode 34.
785
00:55:50,511 --> 00:55:53,776
Ladies, Lucys, Lucys,
stay behind the line, please.
786
00:55:53,848 --> 00:55:57,079
Remember that one when Ricky
wouldn't take his hat off?
787
00:55:57,151 --> 00:56:00,518
I don't remember that one.
It sounds like a masterpiece.
788
00:56:00,588 --> 00:56:03,386
How about the one where
she got caught in the freezer?
789
00:56:03,458 --> 00:56:07,519
Ma'am? Lucy! You have
to put that out, please.
790
00:56:17,105 --> 00:56:19,073
Lucy, your hair!
791
00:56:19,140 --> 00:56:23,440
Thank you. I couldn't decide whether
to keep it up or try something new.
792
00:56:23,511 --> 00:56:26,002
It's on fire!
793
00:56:33,855 --> 00:56:36,483
- Stop the bus!
- We're not stoppin'!
794
00:56:36,557 --> 00:56:39,185
Just put it out!
Just put it out!
795
00:56:39,260 --> 00:56:41,854
Stop!
796
00:56:42,463 --> 00:56:43,657
The bathroom!
797
00:57:13,194 --> 00:57:17,790
Two million dollars. Two million
dollars. Two million dollars.
798
00:57:17,865 --> 00:57:22,427
Two million dollars. Two million
dollars. Two million dollars.
799
00:57:22,503 --> 00:57:25,199
The Donald Sinclair,
the billionaire?
800
00:57:25,273 --> 00:57:28,470
It sounds crazy, I know,
but I think it's on the level.
801
00:57:28,543 --> 00:57:31,478
Here's the thing. We have
to decide yes or no right now.
802
00:57:31,546 --> 00:57:36,210
If everybody else had to drive,
we have a three-hour head start.
803
00:57:36,284 --> 00:57:40,118
- So you're proposing?
- A corporation... Faucet and Schaffer.
804
00:57:40,188 --> 00:57:44,124
If we win, we split everything
50-50. You can even hold the key.
805
00:57:45,460 --> 00:57:47,121
What do ya think?
806
00:57:48,329 --> 00:57:50,854
I don't know what to think.
I'm in shock.
807
00:57:50,932 --> 00:57:56,234
Three hours ago I was in the airport.
I had a job. I was reading a book.
808
00:57:56,304 --> 00:57:58,795
My grandfather used to say,
"Good things take time.
809
00:57:58,873 --> 00:58:01,467
Great things
happen all at once."
810
00:58:07,248 --> 00:58:11,878
- Jason, where'd you get that?
- I found it under the seat.
811
00:58:11,953 --> 00:58:16,151
- Give it to me. You can't play that.
- Why not?
812
00:58:16,224 --> 00:58:19,455
Because it's Hitler's harmonica.
You can't play Hitler's harmonica.
813
00:58:19,527 --> 00:58:23,930
- You're driving his car.
- I'm not touching it with my mouth.
814
00:58:23,998 --> 00:58:27,695
I'm not sucking on the dashboard.
I'm not gettin' his germs.
815
00:58:27,769 --> 00:58:29,794
Dad, look what I found.
816
00:58:29,871 --> 00:58:34,672
- Where'd you get those?
- The floor. Look, I'm Mrs. Hitler.
817
00:58:34,742 --> 00:58:36,801
All right, take those
off right now.
818
00:58:36,878 --> 00:58:39,813
Hey, look at this.
A lipstick. It's dark.
819
00:58:39,881 --> 00:58:41,872
That Eva Braun had style,
didn't she?
820
00:58:41,949 --> 00:58:44,679
- She was Hitler's girlfriend.
- Give us a kiss.
821
00:58:44,752 --> 00:58:47,687
Bev, it's not funny.
Give me that.
822
00:58:47,755 --> 00:58:49,848
- Honey!
- I got it all over my hand.
823
00:58:49,924 --> 00:58:50,891
Oh...
824
00:58:50,958 --> 00:58:52,289
Randy.
825
00:58:58,299 --> 00:59:00,563
- Chain, chain, chain
- R-E-S-P-E-C-T
826
00:59:00,635 --> 00:59:03,035
- Chain, chain, chain
- Find out what it means to me
827
00:59:03,104 --> 00:59:05,698
Respect
Just a little bit
828
00:59:05,773 --> 00:59:08,037
- Just a little bit
- Chain, chain, chain...
829
00:59:08,109 --> 00:59:09,542
Just...
830
00:59:11,479 --> 00:59:14,642
Look at us go.
We are zooming.
831
00:59:14,715 --> 00:59:16,910
I told you.
We're haulin' ass.
832
00:59:16,984 --> 00:59:20,818
We're haulin' ass.
All righty.
833
00:59:24,292 --> 00:59:27,955
- Guess what I got back there.
- You just told me.
834
00:59:28,029 --> 00:59:30,327
Ass. We're haulin' ass.
835
00:59:30,398 --> 00:59:33,026
No, no, no.
That's just an expression.
836
00:59:36,904 --> 00:59:38,166
It's a heart.
837
00:59:39,473 --> 00:59:43,273
- A heart?
- A human heart.
838
00:59:44,278 --> 00:59:47,441
Some lucky bastard
in El Paso's waiting for it.
839
00:59:48,149 --> 00:59:52,950
Normally, they put it on a plane,
but the airport's all closed down.
840
00:59:57,291 --> 01:00:00,692
- You wanna see it?
- See what?
841
01:00:10,104 --> 01:00:12,072
Are we allowed?
842
01:00:12,139 --> 01:00:15,802
Just take a peek. One peek.
What could happen?
843
01:00:17,645 --> 01:00:20,580
It's a heart.
It needs fresh air.
844
01:00:20,648 --> 01:00:23,617
It's been locked up
in that cooler for seven hours.
845
01:00:59,553 --> 01:01:02,351
- Oopsy-daisy. I get it. I get it.
- Shit! Oh, please!
846
01:01:02,423 --> 01:01:04,914
- Don't step on it!
- I think I found it.
847
01:01:04,992 --> 01:01:06,926
No, that's a caramel apple.
848
01:01:19,407 --> 01:01:21,773
This is wrong.
This is so wrong.
849
01:01:21,842 --> 01:01:24,834
God is gonna smote us.
We're gonna get smote.
850
01:01:24,912 --> 01:01:27,642
Come on. We're siphoning gas.
It's not a smoting offense.
851
01:01:27,715 --> 01:01:29,649
What?
852
01:01:36,190 --> 01:01:38,181
Shouldn't be
turning me on, should it?
853
01:01:42,663 --> 01:01:44,324
- Hey!
- Hi.
854
01:01:44,398 --> 01:01:48,232
- What are you doing?
- Seventeen cups of coffee.
855
01:01:52,873 --> 01:01:54,966
I guess...
856
01:01:55,042 --> 01:01:56,976
I guess that's it.
857
01:01:59,013 --> 01:02:02,346
I guess not.
How do you turn this thing off?
858
01:02:02,950 --> 01:02:04,577
Son of a bitch!
859
01:02:12,093 --> 01:02:16,189
- Man! Damn it!
- Keep going. Go! Go!
860
01:02:18,766 --> 01:02:20,700
He's stopping.
861
01:02:20,768 --> 01:02:22,759
'Cause he knows,
don't mess with us.
862
01:02:42,757 --> 01:02:44,691
We gotta wait.
There's too much wind.
863
01:02:44,759 --> 01:02:49,355
- Guys, I need this balloon.
- Hey, what are you doing?
864
01:02:49,430 --> 01:02:51,364
Hey, man, what...
865
01:02:55,970 --> 01:02:58,063
- Hey, hey!
- I know what I'm doing!
866
01:03:02,510 --> 01:03:05,968
I'm coming to get you!
Get back here!
867
01:03:10,618 --> 01:03:14,554
I'll get him. I'm gonna get you,
stupid hardware guy!
868
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:25,226
- Go! Go!
- Stand up. Grab the rope.
869
01:03:25,299 --> 01:03:28,791
I'm gonna get you!
Stand up. Ready? Grab it.
870
01:03:30,905 --> 01:03:32,839
Missed it.
871
01:03:32,907 --> 01:03:37,173
- Duane! Duane, stop the car!
- Hang on, buddy.
872
01:03:37,244 --> 01:03:39,269
Duane, please stop.
873
01:03:42,016 --> 01:03:45,179
I got it! I got it!
Just hang on.
874
01:03:52,993 --> 01:03:57,293
- Stop it! Blaine!
- My God! You're gonna kill me!
875
01:03:58,399 --> 01:04:00,333
The cows!
876
01:04:04,171 --> 01:04:05,502
Move!
877
01:04:09,844 --> 01:04:11,277
Watch out!
878
01:04:31,765 --> 01:04:32,891
Shit.
879
01:04:45,279 --> 01:04:47,406
Oh, God!
880
01:04:56,157 --> 01:04:59,058
Help!
881
01:05:03,631 --> 01:05:05,622
- Give me my key.
- What are you talking about?
882
01:05:05,699 --> 01:05:07,758
Give me back my key.
The key!
883
01:05:10,104 --> 01:05:12,197
Give me the key.
884
01:05:59,987 --> 01:06:03,821
Blaine! Blaine!
It's me.
885
01:06:15,002 --> 01:06:16,936
I got the key.
886
01:06:23,644 --> 01:06:25,236
How's it going, Captain?
887
01:06:25,312 --> 01:06:27,246
So far, so good.
888
01:06:27,314 --> 01:06:31,478
- How about a pit stop?
- Sorry. This is a one-way flight.
889
01:06:31,552 --> 01:06:33,486
There's a bathroom
in the back.
890
01:06:33,554 --> 01:06:36,580
The latch is broken.
Anybody could just come in.
891
01:06:36,657 --> 01:06:42,396
So what? You ain't got nothing
the other Lucys haven't seen already.
892
01:06:42,529 --> 01:06:43,461
Not necessarily.
893
01:06:43,730 --> 01:06:45,755
Please, would you
stop screaming?
894
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:47,658
Damn!
895
01:06:51,571 --> 01:06:53,004
Help me!
896
01:06:53,073 --> 01:06:55,633
For God's sake, help me!
897
01:07:08,488 --> 01:07:10,683
Oh, shit.
898
01:07:16,363 --> 01:07:19,560
Owen!
Owen, what are you doing?
899
01:07:19,633 --> 01:07:21,567
It's a flat tire.
Please, stay on the bus.
900
01:07:21,635 --> 01:07:25,162
- Well, you're turning it the wrong way.
- I know what I'm doing.
901
01:07:25,238 --> 01:07:29,004
- Please, get on the bus. Wait!
- Maybe we should check the oil.
902
01:07:29,075 --> 01:07:33,034
I think you're supposed to change
the air in the tires every 12,000 miles.
903
01:07:33,113 --> 01:07:35,775
- I can fix it.
- Give me that!
904
01:07:37,417 --> 01:07:39,578
Wait! That's the spare!
905
01:07:48,662 --> 01:07:50,186
We'll still catch it.
906
01:08:16,223 --> 01:08:18,885
Turn it around.
Just turn it around.
907
01:08:18,959 --> 01:08:22,520
Please be careful.
Wait, wait, wait. What is that?
908
01:08:24,764 --> 01:08:27,858
- It's a nickel.
- Would you please put it in the bag?
909
01:08:45,452 --> 01:08:49,752
Why don't you check over there?
Maybe it bounced.
910
01:08:52,192 --> 01:08:56,356
- I'm a dead man.
- Don't worry. We will find the heart.
911
01:08:56,429 --> 01:09:00,490
I have lost my heart
many times before.
912
01:09:04,204 --> 01:09:06,138
I make a joke...
913
01:09:06,206 --> 01:09:10,233
to help you forget
how screwed you are.
914
01:09:10,310 --> 01:09:15,145
I don't think it got this far.
Let's check down by the road.
915
01:09:15,215 --> 01:09:17,342
Oh, hello. A doggy.
916
01:09:17,417 --> 01:09:19,749
Hello. Hello. Hello there.
917
01:09:19,819 --> 01:09:22,083
Isn't he a good doggy?
918
01:09:22,155 --> 01:09:24,749
Come on. Come on.
Fetch. Fetch it.
919
01:09:26,526 --> 01:09:29,495
Look at him go.
920
01:09:31,331 --> 01:09:33,993
- Here, boy!
- Doggy!
921
01:09:34,067 --> 01:09:35,500
Good boy!
922
01:09:40,473 --> 01:09:42,100
- It really is a beautiful car.
- Yeah.
923
01:09:42,175 --> 01:09:44,370
- Look at this mahogany.
- Gorgeous.
924
01:09:44,444 --> 01:09:47,538
You just don't see
that anymore, you know?
925
01:09:47,614 --> 01:09:50,708
- I wonder what this is.
- Careful. That's a cigarette lighter.
926
01:09:50,784 --> 01:09:52,718
- No, I don't think they had those then.
- Yes, they did.
927
01:09:53,520 --> 01:09:55,613
Oh, honey!
Did you burn yourself?
928
01:09:55,689 --> 01:09:57,816
- Yeah. Oh, God!
- Oh, I told you.
929
01:10:01,294 --> 01:10:03,285
Sorry.
930
01:10:03,363 --> 01:10:05,854
My husband,
he burned his finger, ma'am.
931
01:10:05,932 --> 01:10:09,663
- He was pulling, then he was waving...
- Bev, Bev, not helping.
932
01:10:10,870 --> 01:10:12,804
- Hi.
- Hi.
933
01:10:15,442 --> 01:10:18,570
I really like
your dike. Bike.
934
01:10:20,814 --> 01:10:21,746
It's nice.
935
01:10:26,886 --> 01:10:29,855
Cut 'em off!
Get in front!
936
01:10:30,624 --> 01:10:33,252
- Hey! What are you, nuts?
- Get down!
937
01:10:33,326 --> 01:10:35,419
Kids, stay down!
This thing won't go any faster!
938
01:10:35,495 --> 01:10:37,895
Stop it! The headlights!
The headlight!
939
01:10:37,964 --> 01:10:42,594
- Oh, my God!
- Are you insane? This is Hitler's car!
940
01:11:00,787 --> 01:11:04,086
Honey, go ask them for help.
Tell them everything that happened.
941
01:11:04,157 --> 01:11:06,557
And ask them
to call the police.
942
01:11:06,626 --> 01:11:08,560
And a tow truck.
943
01:11:52,839 --> 01:11:55,069
- Hello.
- Hello.
944
01:11:55,141 --> 01:11:57,632
- Are you Harold?
- Yes.
945
01:11:57,711 --> 01:12:00,179
I'm Vicky.
946
01:12:01,214 --> 01:12:03,239
Are you gonna
invite me in, Harry?
947
01:12:03,316 --> 01:12:05,409
Or would you rather
party out here in the hallway?
948
01:12:06,352 --> 01:12:07,512
Please. Come in.
949
01:12:11,691 --> 01:12:13,625
Not too shabby.
950
01:12:14,794 --> 01:12:17,490
- Where are you from, Harry?
- From here.
951
01:12:17,564 --> 01:12:21,159
- Las Vegas.
- A local boy makes good.
952
01:12:23,203 --> 01:12:27,003
So, Harry,
what can I do for you?
953
01:12:28,074 --> 01:12:30,304
Okay. Here's what I want.
954
01:12:31,544 --> 01:12:33,102
First we both get naked.
955
01:12:33,179 --> 01:12:37,616
- So far, so good.
- Only we're wearing sailor hats.
956
01:12:38,852 --> 01:12:39,876
And then...
957
01:12:40,954 --> 01:12:44,048
we get into a Jacuzzi...
958
01:12:44,124 --> 01:12:46,388
filled with Pepto-Bismol.
959
01:12:47,193 --> 01:12:48,125
And...
960
01:12:49,195 --> 01:12:51,629
I clip your toenails...
961
01:12:51,698 --> 01:12:53,893
and you shave my buttocks.
962
01:12:55,301 --> 01:12:57,235
Pardon me?
963
01:12:57,303 --> 01:13:01,205
Okay, naked,
Jacuzzi, Pepto-Bismol...
964
01:13:01,274 --> 01:13:04,243
toenails,
shave my buttocks.
965
01:13:04,310 --> 01:13:05,937
How much would that cost?
966
01:13:06,012 --> 01:13:09,504
Geez, honey,
you have quite an imagination.
967
01:13:10,450 --> 01:13:11,849
How much would it cost?
968
01:13:14,020 --> 01:13:16,511
Well, let's see.
969
01:13:16,589 --> 01:13:20,047
A party like that...
970
01:13:20,126 --> 01:13:22,060
three thousand dollars.
971
01:13:22,128 --> 01:13:25,825
Okay, 3,000.
Who has 3,000?
972
01:13:25,899 --> 01:13:27,924
Carlton had 2,800.
He's the closest.
973
01:13:48,488 --> 01:13:51,480
I think it's okay.
What do you think?
974
01:13:51,558 --> 01:13:54,857
What about those little holes?
975
01:13:54,928 --> 01:13:57,761
Are they bite marks?
976
01:13:57,831 --> 01:14:01,835
That's... That's how it was.
I'm... I'm pretty sure.
977
01:14:01,968 --> 01:14:03,799
What am I doing?
978
01:14:03,870 --> 01:14:06,304
I can't go
to El Paso with this.
979
01:14:06,372 --> 01:14:09,500
Look at it.
It's gonna leak like a sieve.
980
01:14:09,576 --> 01:14:12,511
The guy's gonna be alive
for like two minutes and then...
981
01:14:19,586 --> 01:14:22,919
- A drifter.
- A drifter?
982
01:14:23,857 --> 01:14:26,951
We... We find a drifter...
983
01:14:27,026 --> 01:14:28,994
kill him,
cut out his heart.
984
01:14:29,062 --> 01:14:31,792
Nobody's gonna miss him, right?
I mean, he's a drifter.
985
01:14:31,865 --> 01:14:33,924
He's an invisible man.
It's a perfect plan.
986
01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:36,935
Mr. Zack, now you are
giving me the freak-out.
987
01:14:38,538 --> 01:14:41,029
Where...
Where do I find a drifter?
988
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:48,342
Enrico.
989
01:14:49,749 --> 01:14:53,446
- Where did you say you were from?
- Me? I am from Napoli.
990
01:14:54,854 --> 01:14:58,119
And your family,
they're back there?
991
01:14:58,191 --> 01:15:01,957
No. No, my papa, he is dead.
992
01:15:02,028 --> 01:15:06,931
And my mama. All gone.
993
01:15:07,000 --> 01:15:09,662
Any family? Kids?
994
01:15:12,338 --> 01:15:16,399
I am completely alone.
995
01:15:16,476 --> 01:15:18,842
Why...
996
01:15:18,912 --> 01:15:21,710
Why do you...
997
01:15:24,450 --> 01:15:27,283
Look, a drifter.
Let's kill him.
998
01:15:27,353 --> 01:15:29,287
Son of a...
Come back here!
999
01:15:51,744 --> 01:15:55,043
Whatever. Listen, sugar.
You're not going anywhere today.
1000
01:15:55,114 --> 01:15:56,741
You got a crack
in your radiator.
1001
01:15:56,816 --> 01:15:59,410
That's this big tank
in front of this big engine.
1002
01:15:59,485 --> 01:16:02,511
- I know what a radiator is.
- Is there a place we can rent a car?
1003
01:16:02,588 --> 01:16:04,886
- Albuquerque.
- Okay, look.
1004
01:16:04,957 --> 01:16:06,925
We'll just have to patch it.
A quick fix.
1005
01:16:06,993 --> 01:16:10,895
- Patch it? Patch it with what?
- Sand and tire sealant.
1006
01:16:10,963 --> 01:16:14,660
You mix the two. It forms an
adhesive, lasting a couple of hours.
1007
01:16:14,734 --> 01:16:16,668
We only have about
30 miles to go?
1008
01:16:16,736 --> 01:16:19,671
Darlin',
we don't have any sand.
1009
01:16:19,739 --> 01:16:23,106
Hello!
We're in the desert!
1010
01:16:29,081 --> 01:16:31,174
We should've
bought a squirrel.
1011
01:16:38,491 --> 01:16:42,689
Mother of mercy!
Where'd you come from? Car trouble?
1012
01:16:42,762 --> 01:16:46,698
Here. Sit down.
You two look exhausted.
1013
01:16:46,766 --> 01:16:49,701
How long y'all been out there?
Here. Have something to drink.
1014
01:16:49,769 --> 01:16:52,294
Ladies and gentlemen,
members of the press...
1015
01:16:52,371 --> 01:16:56,569
- What's going on?
- Some rocket scientists from L. A...
1016
01:16:56,642 --> 01:16:59,167
they're trying to break
the land speed record.
1017
01:17:02,114 --> 01:17:05,811
A unique combination of automotive
and aerodynamic innovation.
1018
01:17:05,885 --> 01:17:08,149
The vehicle, which
we call Lightning II...
1019
01:17:08,220 --> 01:17:09,949
represents three years
of R & D...
1020
01:17:10,022 --> 01:17:13,389
which was conducted at the
California Institute of Technology.
1021
01:17:13,459 --> 01:17:18,419
The design team was led by Professor
Ken Freedman and Dr. Richard Kramer.
1022
01:17:18,497 --> 01:17:20,965
We believe
that, aerodynamically...
1023
01:17:21,033 --> 01:17:23,729
this is the most perfect
vehicle ever designed.
1024
01:17:23,803 --> 01:17:27,603
The entire vehicle weighs
less than 1,850 pounds.
1025
01:17:27,673 --> 01:17:30,403
The body is a one-piece
Kevlar composite.
1026
01:17:30,476 --> 01:17:32,603
The wheels are
solid billet aluminum...
1027
01:17:32,678 --> 01:17:36,341
and she's powered by twin
JE-79 turbo jet engines...
1028
01:17:36,415 --> 01:17:39,077
the same engines that are
in the F-4 Phantom jet.
1029
01:17:39,151 --> 01:17:41,085
Are there any questions?
1030
01:17:41,153 --> 01:17:43,587
Mr. Calvert, what is
the current land speed record?
1031
01:17:43,656 --> 01:17:45,681
That would be
742 miles per hour...
1032
01:17:45,758 --> 01:17:48,283
but we hope to have
a new record today.
1033
01:17:48,360 --> 01:17:51,818
- Anyone else?
- How do you start it?
1034
01:17:51,897 --> 01:17:53,990
Good question.
1035
01:17:54,066 --> 01:17:56,364
A green lever to the left of the
steering wheel in the cockpit...
1036
01:17:56,435 --> 01:17:59,529
engages the primary thruster,
igniting the JE...
1037
01:18:12,952 --> 01:18:14,886
740, 745...
1038
01:18:14,954 --> 01:18:16,979
- That's a record.
- They'll break the sound barrier.
1039
01:18:20,493 --> 01:18:23,826
Well, that's it. I still don't
think she's gonna hold.
1040
01:18:23,896 --> 01:18:27,024
- What do we owe you?
- Five hundred bucks.
1041
01:18:27,099 --> 01:18:30,466
- What?
- For two quarts of sealant?
1042
01:18:30,536 --> 01:18:33,562
No way.
That's 20 bucks tops.
1043
01:18:33,639 --> 01:18:36,472
Okay, here's 40 dollars.
That's double what it's worth, okay?
1044
01:18:36,542 --> 01:18:38,476
Come on, Nick. Let's go.
1045
01:18:40,045 --> 01:18:41,137
Hold it.
1046
01:18:43,482 --> 01:18:46,144
Another little tool
no mechanic should be without.
1047
01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:51,850
Fine. Here's your $500.
But you know what, Billy Ray?
1048
01:18:51,924 --> 01:18:53,858
What goes around,
comes around.
1049
01:18:53,926 --> 01:18:55,860
This is so unchristian.
1050
01:18:55,928 --> 01:18:57,691
Unchristian?
1051
01:18:58,798 --> 01:19:02,234
Well, if the good Lord don't
like the way I conduct business...
1052
01:19:02,301 --> 01:19:03,962
let him say something.
1053
01:19:04,036 --> 01:19:06,231
Let him give me a sign.
1054
01:19:06,305 --> 01:19:10,241
Oh, Lord, I'm here
and I'm listening!
1055
01:19:10,309 --> 01:19:12,334
Hello!
1056
01:19:17,483 --> 01:19:21,419
- Mach one!
- We did it! We did it!
1057
01:19:27,593 --> 01:19:30,528
Hey, everybody okay?
You all right? Yeah?
1058
01:19:30,596 --> 01:19:34,191
- Randy, you okay?
- There's no Ink Inc.
1059
01:19:34,266 --> 01:19:37,258
- What?
- There's no job.
1060
01:19:38,938 --> 01:19:41,202
It's a race. We're racing.
1061
01:19:41,273 --> 01:19:43,468
Donald Sinclair put
$2 million in a locker.
1062
01:19:43,542 --> 01:19:45,737
And I wanna get there first.
1063
01:19:45,811 --> 01:19:50,748
I do not want
to work at Home Depot!
1064
01:20:21,714 --> 01:20:23,978
Okay, people,
back on the bus.
1065
01:20:24,049 --> 01:20:26,176
George, don't eat that.
1066
01:20:26,252 --> 01:20:29,688
Get back on the bus!
Come on. Back on the bus.
1067
01:20:29,755 --> 01:20:31,689
Simon, put that down.
1068
01:20:31,757 --> 01:20:35,454
You too. Back on the bus.
Come on, everyone!
1069
01:20:35,527 --> 01:20:38,894
We don't wanna miss dinner.
It's macaroni night!
1070
01:20:42,434 --> 01:20:43,833
We came in
the rocket car.
1071
01:20:43,903 --> 01:20:48,363
Oh, a rocket car. Let's hear
all about that on the bus.
1072
01:20:48,440 --> 01:20:50,465
All right,
so we can still win...
1073
01:20:50,542 --> 01:20:53,534
but we have
to leave now, all right?
1074
01:20:53,612 --> 01:20:56,206
- So, come on.
- Dad.
1075
01:20:56,282 --> 01:20:58,477
It's been a living hell.
1076
01:20:58,550 --> 01:21:02,316
Bev, it's... it's $2 million.
1077
01:21:02,388 --> 01:21:05,619
That's a lifetime supply
of hummus.
1078
01:21:13,265 --> 01:21:16,200
Okay. Okay. Yeah.
1079
01:21:16,268 --> 01:21:19,169
I've been selfish.
I understand.
1080
01:21:19,238 --> 01:21:22,537
I'm sorry. Really.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1081
01:21:22,608 --> 01:21:26,806
I'm sorry.
I almost got us killed.
1082
01:21:31,383 --> 01:21:33,374
God!
1083
01:21:41,560 --> 01:21:45,155
- Hi, everybody. Miss me?
- Hey!
1084
01:21:45,230 --> 01:21:48,825
To show there's no hard feelings,
chocolate shakes all around.
1085
01:21:48,901 --> 01:21:51,870
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
1086
01:21:51,937 --> 01:21:54,997
I'm a little disappointed,
but I'm an adult.
1087
01:21:55,074 --> 01:21:57,634
So drink these up, and then
we'll return the Nazi-mobile.
1088
01:21:57,710 --> 01:22:01,373
We'll get that van fixed, go back
to Vegas and see David Copperfield!
1089
01:22:01,447 --> 01:22:05,440
Yea! Okay,
drink up, buddy!
1090
01:22:05,517 --> 01:22:07,246
Is it good?
1091
01:22:07,319 --> 01:22:09,253
Drink it up, honey.
1092
01:22:12,791 --> 01:22:15,351
Oh, don't feel bad.
1093
01:22:15,427 --> 01:22:17,952
- It's not your fault.
- We'll tell the company.
1094
01:22:18,030 --> 01:22:20,430
We won't let them
fire you.
1095
01:22:20,499 --> 01:22:22,967
- I'm no bus driver.
- Don't say that.
1096
01:22:23,035 --> 01:22:26,232
No. I'm not.
I'm not a bus driver.
1097
01:22:26,305 --> 01:22:29,103
Oh, you mustn't be
so hard on yourself.
1098
01:22:29,174 --> 01:22:32,541
Hey, everybody, who's
the world's greatest bus driver?
1099
01:22:39,718 --> 01:22:40,946
Listen. Listen. No, no!
1100
01:22:41,020 --> 01:22:45,116
No! No! Shut up, you crazy
Lucy bitches! Shut up!
1101
01:22:47,393 --> 01:22:50,157
I am not a bus driver!
1102
01:22:50,229 --> 01:22:54,325
I do not work for
the bus company! All right?
1103
01:22:54,400 --> 01:22:58,996
I needed a ride to New Mexico,
so I stole this uniform!
1104
01:22:59,071 --> 01:23:02,939
See this jacket?
This is not my jacket!
1105
01:23:03,008 --> 01:23:04,976
Remember Marty,
the bus driver?
1106
01:23:05,844 --> 01:23:09,211
This is his shirt!
I stole it!
1107
01:23:09,281 --> 01:23:11,681
And these pants, you think
I'd wear these pants?
1108
01:23:11,750 --> 01:23:14,184
These aren't my pants!
1109
01:23:14,253 --> 01:23:16,949
These are Marty's pants.
I stole them.
1110
01:23:20,059 --> 01:23:23,517
I am not a bus driver.
1111
01:23:26,098 --> 01:23:28,999
You're not
a real bus driver?
1112
01:23:29,068 --> 01:23:31,366
You lied to us!
1113
01:23:31,437 --> 01:23:33,962
He ruined
our whole vacation!
1114
01:23:44,083 --> 01:23:47,917
Here they come.
They're all within 50 miles.
1115
01:23:47,986 --> 01:23:50,648
It's the final lap.
Mr. Grisham.
1116
01:23:50,722 --> 01:23:53,850
Now, the airport's back on-line, so
I want you to take the Lear jet...
1117
01:23:53,926 --> 01:23:57,157
scoot on down to Silver City
and report from the finish line.
1118
01:23:57,229 --> 01:24:00,027
Yes, sir.
1119
01:24:00,099 --> 01:24:01,299
Yes!
1120
01:24:23,788 --> 01:24:25,722
Let's go back to Vegas.
1121
01:24:27,725 --> 01:24:30,717
Bev, Bev, wake...
Come on. Wake up. Wake up.
1122
01:24:30,795 --> 01:24:33,730
Bev, wake up. Wake up.
Third Reich's here. Come on.
1123
01:24:33,798 --> 01:24:35,732
Get down. You wanna
have a nice life.
1124
01:24:35,800 --> 01:24:39,236
Okay, okay. Think. Think.
SS in the parking lot.
1125
01:24:39,303 --> 01:24:41,237
Not good. Not good. Think.
1126
01:24:44,875 --> 01:24:45,933
Hi, honey.
1127
01:24:47,011 --> 01:24:48,945
- They gonna be all right?
- Yeah.
1128
01:24:49,013 --> 01:24:52,676
Friend, I don't
think there's room.
1129
01:24:54,318 --> 01:24:56,252
This one's little.
1130
01:24:57,988 --> 01:25:01,185
- There it is. There it is!
- Silver City. We're almost there.
1131
01:25:01,258 --> 01:25:03,590
Yeah! Go!
1132
01:26:31,682 --> 01:26:33,775
Where the fuck are we?
1133
01:27:40,484 --> 01:27:42,782
There were two guys
in there.
1134
01:27:42,853 --> 01:27:44,787
- Where'd they go?
- Hey!
1135
01:27:44,855 --> 01:27:46,447
Thanks for the truck, buddy!
1136
01:28:49,820 --> 01:28:52,015
- Yeah.
- Silver City.
1137
01:28:52,089 --> 01:28:54,182
Next stop, Silver City.
1138
01:28:54,258 --> 01:28:57,750
Silver City?
It is the finish line.
1139
01:28:57,828 --> 01:29:01,059
I made it. I made it!
1140
01:29:03,067 --> 01:29:07,163
The key.
Where is the key?
1141
01:29:10,808 --> 01:29:13,402
What have we... Where is
the key, my little baby?
1142
01:29:13,477 --> 01:29:16,412
- Excuse me.
- I think I am touching it.
1143
01:29:16,480 --> 01:29:20,439
- Get away from him.
- I can feel it. It's very small.
1144
01:29:20,517 --> 01:29:24,920
- I'm calling the conductor!
- I have it! I got it!
1145
01:29:24,989 --> 01:29:28,254
Wait! Wait!
Come back! Don't leave me!
1146
01:29:33,530 --> 01:29:36,124
Come on! Come on, baby!
1147
01:29:37,801 --> 01:29:39,496
Giddyap!
1148
01:29:43,607 --> 01:29:47,475
Come on, baby.
Just one more mile.
1149
01:29:47,544 --> 01:29:49,978
Just one mile.
Come on!
1150
01:29:51,181 --> 01:29:53,115
Randy?
1151
01:29:54,184 --> 01:29:56,345
Hey, honey,
how'd you sleep?
1152
01:30:04,294 --> 01:30:07,491
- Pass. Pass him.
- I can't. We're too big.
1153
01:30:07,564 --> 01:30:11,591
There's Silver City.
We're here. Move!
1154
01:30:14,171 --> 01:30:16,162
They stopped.
1155
01:30:19,076 --> 01:30:20,737
They're moving. Look.
1156
01:30:30,120 --> 01:30:32,054
Come on, Dad! Let's go!
1157
01:30:35,025 --> 01:30:36,083
I can smell it.
1158
01:30:36,160 --> 01:30:40,119
Daisy, Daisy
1159
01:30:40,197 --> 01:30:43,633
Give me your answer true
1160
01:30:43,701 --> 01:30:47,637
Daisy, Daisy
1161
01:30:55,045 --> 01:30:58,071
Hey! Hey!
Stop the bus! Stop the bus!
1162
01:30:58,148 --> 01:31:02,585
- We gotta get off!
- Ladies. You know the rules.
1163
01:31:02,653 --> 01:31:04,814
We're not crazy, lady.
1164
01:31:04,888 --> 01:31:06,788
We should've bought a squirrel.
We didn't buy a squirrel.
1165
01:31:06,857 --> 01:31:09,485
- That's why we took the rocket car.
- We can still win.
1166
01:31:09,560 --> 01:31:12,723
Open the door, or I'm gonna crush
you like a cockroach in the night.
1167
01:31:12,796 --> 01:31:15,287
Open the door!
Tell him! Tell him!
1168
01:31:15,365 --> 01:31:17,299
- Open the door.
- Thank you!
1169
01:31:46,163 --> 01:31:47,460
It's Pollini.
1170
01:31:47,531 --> 01:31:49,761
Enrico Pollini on a train.
1171
01:31:49,833 --> 01:31:53,929
- He just rolled into the station.
- Well, what do you know?
1172
01:31:54,004 --> 01:31:55,995
Rip Van Winkle
pulled it off.
1173
01:31:56,073 --> 01:31:58,132
You gotta love a long shot.
1174
01:32:22,633 --> 01:32:25,625
It's here. It's here.
1175
01:32:25,702 --> 01:32:28,603
- It's here.
- Here he comes.
1176
01:32:28,672 --> 01:32:31,072
- It's you.
- He's holding the key.
1177
01:32:33,143 --> 01:32:35,407
And he's going
to the locker.
1178
01:32:37,047 --> 01:32:40,608
Mr. Pollini, well done, sir.
And congratulations.
1179
01:32:40,684 --> 01:32:43,881
On behalf of Mr. Donald Sinclair,
the Venetian Hotel and Casino...
1180
01:32:49,993 --> 01:32:53,053
Mr. Grisham, is it over?
1181
01:32:59,903 --> 01:33:01,837
- Get out of the way!
- Open it!
1182
01:33:09,279 --> 01:33:11,213
He's sleeping.
1183
01:33:31,301 --> 01:33:33,235
Did I win?
1184
01:33:34,338 --> 01:33:36,431
Vicky.
You let go of this bag...
1185
01:33:36,506 --> 01:33:40,033
or I swear to God, I'll report
you to the escort service.
1186
01:33:40,110 --> 01:33:42,635
Mr. Grisham,
what's going on?
1187
01:33:42,713 --> 01:33:46,547
The hooker... The hooker...
The hooker is taking the money.
1188
01:33:46,617 --> 01:33:50,314
- What hooker?
- Vicky. From the hotel.
1189
01:33:50,387 --> 01:33:54,084
- Pepto-Bismol?
- I told you to wait in the car.
1190
01:33:54,157 --> 01:33:56,751
- What the hell is she doing there?
- I brought her.
1191
01:33:56,827 --> 01:34:00,422
I'm sorry, Mr. Sinclair.
She said she liked me.
1192
01:34:00,497 --> 01:34:04,058
I'm beginning to think she was
only interested in the money!
1193
01:34:08,739 --> 01:34:11,139
- Come with me.
- I'll drive.
1194
01:34:25,389 --> 01:34:28,517
So long, suckers!
1195
01:34:34,831 --> 01:34:37,823
- The bus! The bus.
- You wanna steal a bus?
1196
01:34:37,901 --> 01:34:41,166
- Yes, I do.
- My God, what have I done?
1197
01:34:43,006 --> 01:34:45,600
Help! Somebody help me!
1198
01:34:48,011 --> 01:34:49,945
This thing's got
a mind of its own.
1199
01:34:56,420 --> 01:34:58,888
- Finders keepers, pal.
- That's mine.
1200
01:34:58,956 --> 01:35:01,220
I see it!
I see it! Relax!
1201
01:35:14,137 --> 01:35:16,469
It means it's a scratch.
Nobody wins.
1202
01:35:16,540 --> 01:35:20,306
I'll tell you what it means.
We're going into extra innings.
1203
01:35:20,377 --> 01:35:23,403
Carla, call the airport. Tell them
to get my other Lear ready.
1204
01:35:23,480 --> 01:35:26,506
Gordon, stay here and watch the
board. Tell us where they're going.
1205
01:35:26,583 --> 01:35:30,542
Gentlemen, grab your drinks.
We're going to Silver City.
1206
01:35:40,964 --> 01:35:42,898
- Is that it?
- That's it.
1207
01:35:42,966 --> 01:35:45,196
Thank the pilot.
Tell him to level off.
1208
01:35:46,636 --> 01:35:48,399
Who had Mr. Kimiche?
1209
01:35:48,472 --> 01:35:50,841
- It was me.
- Well done!
1210
01:35:50,974 --> 01:35:53,841
- Congratulations.
- Very good.
1211
01:35:57,781 --> 01:35:58,713
Keep going!
1212
01:35:59,850 --> 01:36:01,841
Come on!
1213
01:36:01,918 --> 01:36:04,443
There it is.
It's coming down right there.
1214
01:36:20,837 --> 01:36:22,896
- Where is it?
- There it is.
1215
01:36:22,973 --> 01:36:24,770
Go!
1216
01:36:27,811 --> 01:36:31,269
- Get it! Get it!
- Grab that money!
1217
01:36:31,348 --> 01:36:33,349
Get it down!
1218
01:36:51,200 --> 01:36:53,498
Now, that is
one hell of an entrance.
1219
01:36:53,569 --> 01:36:55,400
It's Smash Mouth!
1220
01:36:56,505 --> 01:36:59,269
What's going on over here?
1221
01:36:59,341 --> 01:37:01,366
- What's this?
- Money.
1222
01:37:01,443 --> 01:37:03,604
Jesus, how much is this?
1223
01:37:03,679 --> 01:37:05,943
- Two million dollars.
- Two...
1224
01:37:06,014 --> 01:37:10,041
Two million...
Two million dollars, everybody!
1225
01:37:12,521 --> 01:37:14,682
Two million dollars!
1226
01:37:14,757 --> 01:37:17,692
On the bus,
we talked about it...
1227
01:37:17,760 --> 01:37:21,628
and we decide
to share all the money.
1228
01:37:22,631 --> 01:37:24,758
They're gonna share
all the money, everybody!
1229
01:37:26,135 --> 01:37:27,625
Oh, man!
1230
01:37:28,670 --> 01:37:30,331
Get these guys some jackets.
1231
01:37:30,406 --> 01:37:32,840
Get these jack...
Get these jackets over here.
1232
01:37:34,510 --> 01:37:37,707
So what's the story, man? Are you
guys some kind of organization?
1233
01:37:37,780 --> 01:37:41,648
- What's going on?
- No, no. We just met this morning.
1234
01:37:41,717 --> 01:37:44,686
They just met
this morning, everybody!
1235
01:37:44,753 --> 01:37:46,277
Oh, my God!
1236
01:37:46,355 --> 01:37:49,347
I almost didn't come along,
but then I met Tracy and...
1237
01:37:49,425 --> 01:37:51,484
Well, great things
happen all at once.
1238
01:37:51,560 --> 01:37:55,018
Oh, this is beautiful, baby.
This is beautiful.
1239
01:37:55,097 --> 01:37:57,395
Great things happen,
I don't know.
1240
01:37:58,534 --> 01:38:00,468
Feed the earth, baby.
Feed the earth.
1241
01:38:00,536 --> 01:38:04,563
We're gonna check the tote board
now and see where we're at. Okay?
1242
01:38:04,640 --> 01:38:08,132
Come on, baby.
Let it roll. Come on, baby.
1243
01:38:17,786 --> 01:38:19,151
You don't understand.
1244
01:38:24,460 --> 01:38:29,159
Excuse me.
We work for Feed the Earth.
1245
01:38:29,231 --> 01:38:31,062
These are some
of our children.
1246
01:38:36,305 --> 01:38:40,139
I don't know who you people are
or where you came from...
1247
01:38:40,209 --> 01:38:43,440
but God bless you.
1248
01:38:45,647 --> 01:38:46,579
Tonight...
1249
01:38:46,648 --> 01:38:49,208
you've given to these kids...
1250
01:38:49,284 --> 01:38:54,415
and their brothers and sisters
all over the world more than money.
1251
01:38:54,490 --> 01:38:57,254
You've given them back
their faith...
1252
01:38:57,326 --> 01:39:00,727
their faith
in the goodness of people.
1253
01:39:08,303 --> 01:39:13,536
She said, "You are just
like the 12 disciples."
1254
01:39:15,210 --> 01:39:16,802
Aw!
1255
01:39:20,215 --> 01:39:21,375
Aw!
1256
01:39:22,818 --> 01:39:24,479
Thank you.
1257
01:40:12,434 --> 01:40:14,368
Forget it.
1258
01:40:14,436 --> 01:40:17,269
All these other disciples can do
whatever they want with their share.
1259
01:40:17,339 --> 01:40:19,466
- But this money goes home with us.
- What?
1260
01:40:19,541 --> 01:40:22,874
- Period. End of story.
- Put the money in the bag, carrot.
1261
01:40:27,382 --> 01:40:30,374
You don't know me, man.
1262
01:40:30,452 --> 01:40:32,386
Come here.
1263
01:40:34,756 --> 01:40:36,690
It's you.
1264
01:40:38,727 --> 01:40:40,888
I'm so proud of you.
1265
01:40:40,963 --> 01:40:43,989
Giving away
all of your money?
1266
01:40:55,577 --> 01:40:56,976
Come on.
1267
01:41:05,687 --> 01:41:08,918
Mama is watching us
from heaven right now.
1268
01:41:11,426 --> 01:41:13,451
What would she do?
1269
01:41:17,299 --> 01:41:20,996
It's for starving
children, Duane.
1270
01:41:23,238 --> 01:41:25,172
Do it for Mom.
1271
01:41:50,165 --> 01:41:52,292
Excuse me,
ladies and gentlemen.
1272
01:41:52,367 --> 01:41:54,767
I'd like to introduce
the real star of tonight's show.
1273
01:41:54,836 --> 01:41:58,772
None of us would be here tonight
if it wasn't for this man.
1274
01:41:58,840 --> 01:42:02,276
He is the man with the plan,
Mr. Donald Sinclair.
1275
01:42:03,345 --> 01:42:04,277
What?
1276
01:42:04,346 --> 01:42:07,110
One of the wealthiest
men in the world!
1277
01:42:08,650 --> 01:42:11,778
- Mr. Donald Sinclair!
- You are the man.
1278
01:42:11,853 --> 01:42:15,414
Get a camera on him. There you go.
Nice shot. There he is.
1279
01:42:16,825 --> 01:42:20,056
These men, they didn't
have to be here tonight.
1280
01:42:20,128 --> 01:42:22,562
No, they could be off
kicking back in the Riviera...
1281
01:42:22,631 --> 01:42:26,123
or in Vegas blowing their money
on some meaningless idiotic bet.
1282
01:42:28,003 --> 01:42:29,937
They couldn't do that...
1283
01:42:30,005 --> 01:42:32,473
not when there were children
going to bed hungry every night.
1284
01:42:32,541 --> 01:42:35,408
Isn't that right, fellas?
1285
01:42:35,477 --> 01:42:37,411
Whatever.
1286
01:42:37,479 --> 01:42:40,107
Mr. Donald Sinclair
and his partners...
1287
01:42:40,182 --> 01:42:43,379
want you and the millions
of people watching at home...
1288
01:42:43,452 --> 01:42:46,421
to know they plan to match
whatever you raise tonight...
1289
01:42:46,488 --> 01:42:48,513
dollar for dollar!
1290
01:42:48,590 --> 01:42:50,319
- Dollar for dollar!
- Dollar for dollar!
1291
01:42:53,662 --> 01:42:55,323
A matching fund, everybody!
1292
01:42:55,397 --> 01:42:57,831
Let's hit the phones
out there and crank it up...
1293
01:42:57,899 --> 01:43:00,697
because we're gonna feed
the whole world tonight!
1294
01:43:02,070 --> 01:43:04,504
Somebody once told me
1295
01:43:04,573 --> 01:43:07,064
The world is gonna roll me
1296
01:43:07,142 --> 01:43:10,942
I ain't the sharpest
tool in the shed
1297
01:43:11,012 --> 01:43:13,446
And she was lookin'
kind of dumb
1298
01:43:13,515 --> 01:43:15,506
With a finger and a thumb
1299
01:43:15,584 --> 01:43:20,790
In the shape of an "L"
on her forehead
1300
01:43:20,923 --> 01:43:23,289
Well, the years start comin'
and they don't stop comin'
1301
01:43:23,359 --> 01:43:25,623
Fed to the rules and
I hit the ground runnin'
1302
01:43:25,694 --> 01:43:27,662
Didn't make sense
not to live for fun
1303
01:43:27,730 --> 01:43:30,198
Your brain gets smart
but your head gets dumb
1304
01:43:30,266 --> 01:43:31,699
So much to do, so much to see
1305
01:43:31,767 --> 01:43:34,463
So what's wrong with
takin' the back streets
1306
01:43:34,537 --> 01:43:36,402
You'll never know if you don't go
1307
01:43:36,472 --> 01:43:38,633
You'll never shine if you don't glow
1308
01:43:38,707 --> 01:43:41,369
Hey, now, you're an all-star
1309
01:43:41,443 --> 01:43:43,411
Get your game on, go play
1310
01:43:43,479 --> 01:43:48,314
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
1311
01:43:48,384 --> 01:43:51,319
All that glitters is gold
1312
01:43:51,387 --> 01:43:55,414
Only shooting stars
break the mold
1313
01:43:56,959 --> 01:43:58,688
It's a cool place and
they say it gets colder
1314
01:43:58,761 --> 01:44:01,161
You're bundled up now
Wait till you get older
1315
01:44:01,230 --> 01:44:03,095
But the meteor men
beg to differ
1316
01:44:03,165 --> 01:44:04,928
Judgin' by the hole
in the satellite picture
1317
01:44:05,000 --> 01:44:07,195
The ice we skate
is gettin'pretty thin
1318
01:44:07,269 --> 01:44:09,669
The water's gettin' warm
so you might as well swim
1319
01:44:09,738 --> 01:44:12,036
My world's on fire
How about yours
1320
01:44:12,107 --> 01:44:15,008
That's the way I like it
and I'll never get bored
1321
01:44:15,077 --> 01:44:19,036
Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
1322
01:44:19,114 --> 01:44:23,414
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
1323
01:44:23,485 --> 01:44:26,716
All that glitters is gold
1324
01:44:26,789 --> 01:44:32,557
Only shooting stars
break the mold
1325
01:44:35,764 --> 01:44:38,130
Go to the moon
1326
01:44:39,301 --> 01:44:42,395
Go to the moon
1327
01:44:44,106 --> 01:44:46,768
Go to the moon
1328
01:44:46,842 --> 01:44:50,403
Oh, yeah, go to the moon
1329
01:44:50,479 --> 01:44:53,971
Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
1330
01:44:54,049 --> 01:44:58,543
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
1331
01:44:58,621 --> 01:45:01,920
All that glitters is gold
1332
01:45:01,991 --> 01:45:04,926
Only shooting stars
1333
01:45:04,994 --> 01:45:09,624
Somebody once asked could
I spare some change for gas
1334
01:45:09,698 --> 01:45:13,600
I need to get myself
away from this place
1335
01:45:13,669 --> 01:45:15,261
I said yep, what a concept
1336
01:45:15,337 --> 01:45:17,805
I could use
a little fuel myself
1337
01:45:17,873 --> 01:45:22,572
And we all could use
a little change
1338
01:45:22,645 --> 01:45:25,307
Well, the years start comin'
and they don't stop comin'
1339
01:45:25,381 --> 01:45:26,746
Fed to the rules and
I hit the ground runnin'
1340
01:45:26,815 --> 01:45:29,181
Didn't make sense
not to live for fun
1341
01:45:29,251 --> 01:45:31,515
Your brain gets smart
but your head gets dumb
1342
01:45:31,587 --> 01:45:33,521
So much to do
So much to see
1343
01:45:33,589 --> 01:45:35,750
So what's wrong with
takin' the back streets
1344
01:45:35,824 --> 01:45:37,257
You'll never know
if you don't go
1345
01:45:37,326 --> 01:45:39,954
You'll never shine
if you don't glow
1346
01:45:40,029 --> 01:45:43,760
Hey, now, you're an all-star
Get your game on, go play
1347
01:45:43,832 --> 01:45:48,701
Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paid
1348
01:45:48,771 --> 01:45:51,763
All that glitters is gold
1349
01:45:51,840 --> 01:45:56,971
Only shooting stars
break the mold
1350
01:45:57,046 --> 01:46:00,607
All that glitters is gold
1351
01:46:00,683 --> 01:46:07,612
Only shooting stars
break the mold
1352
01:46:09,058 --> 01:46:10,992
Thank you. Good night!
1353
01:52:05,058 --> 01:52:05,992
5@y3
104552
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