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1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:05,129
Na-no, na-no.
2
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:08,000
Ripped By mstoll
3
00:01:31,991 --> 00:01:33,754
Mom.
4
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,155
- Mom.
- You're from Neptune?
5
00:01:35,361 --> 00:01:37,852
My name is Kalnik,
but please call me Kal.
6
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:39,726
You live on Earth? Me too.
7
00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:41,662
No one calls my son a mutant.
Take a hike.
8
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,768
You'll live to regret this, Orkan.
9
00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:48,498
Take your hands off... Ah!
10
00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:52,076
- You're an android.
- And I am also a bomb.
11
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:53,872
A bomb! Hide!
12
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,942
I have a feeling we're never
gonna see this place again.
13
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:05,818
Why do you want to kill us?
14
00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:09,018
Because you're the only ones that can
throw a monkey wrench into my plans.
15
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,626
Nothing is gonna stop Kalnik's men.
16
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,269
They think you're the alien
who's out to take over the world
17
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:19,632
and they're gonna keep hunting
until they find you.
18
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,036
There's only one choice,
but I think it's the only way.
19
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,971
I have to tell the world I'm an alien.
20
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,941
That way they know
I've got nothing to hide.
21
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:27,807
That's the only way.
I've gotta go public.
22
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,710
Mork is the most famous man
in the world,
23
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:33,181
and I'm offering you your own
prime time television show.
24
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:34,615
What?
25
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,414
Oh, Mind, this is so fast.
26
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:43,295
Four days ago I was having
dinner with a lady friend of mine
27
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,930
at my favorite Italian restaurant.
28
00:02:45,064 --> 00:02:46,998
I won't give it a plug,
but you know which one.
29
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,159
The one where the Pope eats when
he's in town, so you know it's good.
30
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,669
Anyway, in the bar
the TV's blasting away
31
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,671
about, uh, some alien
from another planet.
32
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:59,744
Well, I'm not buying it at first, but for
gosh darn it, uh, I turn out to be wrong.
33
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:01,379
Anyway, he's here with us tonight.
34
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,482
He truly is a spaceman
from another planet
35
00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:05,675
and he's here to tell us about it
with his wife.
36
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,379
Will you please welcome to the stage
Mr. Mork and Mindy McConnell?
37
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,859
Oh. Oh. Hi, Tom. Ha, ha.
38
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:21,194
You know, back on my planet,
the green room is flesh colored.
39
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:24,759
- So you're the guy from Ork.
- Yep.
40
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:28,737
Sometimes I get the feeling that half
of my staff here is from Ork. Ha-ha-ha.
41
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,708
I really don't think so, Tom.
42
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:36,737
Reading from the papers, uh, we know
that apparently you are an alien,
43
00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:38,247
but you married him, why?
44
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:41,114
Two billion guys on this planet,
they're not all good lookers,
45
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:43,755
but you couldn't find one
that you liked, for God's sakes?
46
00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,084
No, um, it's not like that at all.
47
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:49,786
It's just that Mork is very special
and loving
48
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:52,863
and he doesn't know
the meaning of the word "deceit."
49
00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:55,592
Remarkable, remarkable.
Now I understand that you have a son
50
00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:57,633
and his name is Steve?
51
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,863
- Mearth.
- Mearth.
52
00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:02,269
Good work, research.
53
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:07,039
Well, I think that's an excellent time
to bring out young Mearth.
54
00:04:07,213 --> 00:04:10,614
Uh, will you please welcome
to the stage Mr. Mearth McConnell?
55
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:16,078
Mork, you're gonna have
yourself a six-footer here. Ha-ha-ha.
56
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,587
Hello, Tom.
57
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,320
Are you ready for this, Mr. Tom?
58
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:22,391
It's super neat.
59
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:25,759
Tell me about the stars and...
60
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:36,170
Uh, so, big fella, you age backwards,
is that it?
61
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:38,810
You're really old but you're
really quite young, is that it?
62
00:04:38,978 --> 00:04:41,276
So when someone says,
"Hey, you look good for your age,"
63
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:45,178
you have no idea what they're talking
about, because I certainly don't.
64
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,679
- What's the matter with him?
- I don't know, son.
65
00:04:49,856 --> 00:04:53,087
I think his eyebrows put too much
pressure on the frontal lobe.
66
00:04:53,259 --> 00:04:55,193
All right, let's get everything straight.
67
00:04:55,361 --> 00:04:56,851
Uh, Mom's a cute little Boulder gal
68
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:59,258
who obviously prefers men
from another planet,
69
00:04:59,432 --> 00:05:02,196
and, uh, Dad's a space jockey,
and, well, now you're all famous,
70
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:03,835
and there's talk
of a TV talk show
71
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:07,131
and you'll probably be put
against old Tom here, huh? Ha, ha.
72
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,333
Oh. Oh. Not a bad idea, hey?
73
00:05:12,845 --> 00:05:14,073
You know something?
74
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:18,013
You look exactly
like our garbage man.
75
00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:26,650
Uh, Tom, you see, one of the reasons
we're considering a television show
76
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:32,128
is we feel that it's the most effective
way to reach a large number of people.
77
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:35,233
See, Mork hopes to promote
a cultural exchange
78
00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:38,393
of, um, understanding and respect
between our two worlds.
79
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:39,730
- Right, Mork?
- Very much so.
80
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,737
That and being on
Battle of the Network Stars.
81
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:45,344
Excuse me, I'm getting a cue here
from my stage manager over there,
82
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:48,139
and, uh, well, McConnells,
you've been really interesting guests
83
00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:51,750
and I'd like to talk to you more
about the, uh, mysteries of the universe,
84
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:54,751
but I got a man in the green room
who makes cities out of toothpicks
85
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:58,254
and he's putting the finishing touches
there on Fort Lauderdale.
86
00:05:58,424 --> 00:05:59,982
So McConnells, uh, good night
87
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:03,390
and, uh, na-na, nu-nu,
or whatever the heck it is you say.
88
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,690
It doesn't matter, Tom.
Any way you want to fly.
89
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,526
We'll be back in
two minutes, five seconds
90
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:11,067
after we hear from our affiliates
across this country coast to coast.
91
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,829
That's it?
92
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:14,700
What a gyp.
93
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,866
You had Charles Manson on
for a whole hour.
94
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,444
Son, son.
95
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,282
Mind, Mind, pull harder.
I can grow another one.
96
00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:40,964
Why don't they just go upstairs
and bother Warren Beatty?
97
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:42,933
Mearth? Oh, hi, sweetheart.
98
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,694
- Hi, Mommy and Daddy.
- We made it.
99
00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,964
I was just talking to the press here.
100
00:06:47,173 --> 00:06:49,300
That is off the record, isn't it?
101
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:56,448
- Thank you.
- Thank you for the snacks.
102
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:05,250
Hello.
103
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,290
Goodbye.
104
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:11,460
- Mork?
- Mind?
105
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:13,963
- We gotta stay calm, okay?
- Mm-hm.
106
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:17,625
I know you feel like you're being pulled
in a million different directions.
107
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:21,137
Yeah, you're not kidding, Mind. I feel
like a fire hose in the South Bronx.
108
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:26,745
Unhand me, Mr. Lawman.
Don't you know who I am?
109
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:27,937
Why, I'm Mork's producer.
110
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,582
I'm who got Arthur Miller
to write that episode on CHiPs.
111
00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:33,275
Mork.
112
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:38,481
There he is, the new media's darling
of the day and his little pooter.
113
00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:41,650
- Hi, Billy.
- Let's talk TV, kids.
114
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:44,353
I think Mork's had enough for today.
115
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:48,125
I was so looking forward to talking
concept and sipping white wine.
116
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,737
You know what? Why don't I
introduce you to your writers?
117
00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,532
- Oh, yes.
- They're absolutely hilarious.
118
00:07:53,739 --> 00:07:56,674
And you know why? Because not one
of them had a date in high school.
119
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,779
Oh, are you the guys who wrote
"But seriously"? I love that.
120
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:02,642
And also, "Hey,
where are you from?"
121
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:06,876
What?
122
00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:08,111
Who?
123
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:11,256
Mommy, Daddy,
do we know a Ron and Nancy?
124
00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:16,623
- No, sweetheart, just take a message.
- We'll call you back.
125
00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:19,128
I don't care what color
your house is.
126
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:22,467
Mork, here is the concept.
127
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:26,696
You are going to be starring in
Those Amazing Aliens.
128
00:08:26,873 --> 00:08:30,206
Now, on the first episode, we're gonna
strap you to the nose of a Concorde
129
00:08:30,376 --> 00:08:34,073
and when you land in Paris, we set
you on fire and make you eat mud.
130
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,009
Isn't that wonderful?
I get to go to Paris.
131
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,810
No. Absolutely not.
132
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,077
Very well, Miss Red Blazer.
133
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:43,517
He can read a poem
at the end of the show. See if I care.
134
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:49,158
The T-shirts were just the tip
of the merchandising iceberg.
135
00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:54,791
I don't care if you are my granddaddy.
136
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:57,732
Mommy said to tell everybody
that they're not in.
137
00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:00,338
Mearth. Dad...
138
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:04,875
Now, listen, Mork, tomorrow we're
going to make you look like an alien.
139
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,342
- But I am.
- We're gonna shave your head...
140
00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:10,209
- No, no...
- We're gonna tint your skin green...
141
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:05,467
I knew you'd be here.
142
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:08,300
Oh, Mind...
143
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:14,135
I couldn't take the pressure.
144
00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:15,940
All those people hounding me, Mind.
145
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,583
How does Slappy White do it?
146
00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:23,120
Oh, Mork, Kalnik gave us no choice.
147
00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,655
But all the notoriety
hasn't changed us.
148
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,952
No. Where's Mearth?
149
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:33,622
Well, he's getting a star
on Hollywood Boulevard today.
150
00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:36,267
Don't worry, he's with Dad.
151
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,465
Well, Mind, what's up for us next?
152
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,199
Are we gonna end up like every other
American flash-in-the-pan?
153
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,342
Making spaghetti westerns in Italy?
154
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:46,969
Oh, Mork,
155
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:51,173
I wish I could tell you all this was
gonna change tomorrow, but I can't.
156
00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:53,614
You're about as cheerful
as an East Berlin cheerleader.
157
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,617
Ha, ha. I'm not finished yet.
158
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:03,160
Sit down.
On what's left of our couch.
159
00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:06,420
Mork, what we've gotta do
160
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:10,228
starting right now
is take control of our lives.
161
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:12,563
Well, I know what I want right now.
162
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:15,036
What?
163
00:11:15,207 --> 00:11:18,233
Nobody can make us do anything
we don't wanna do.
164
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:24,474
Unless they've got a great big
outer space ray gun.
165
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:30,213
Ooh.
166
00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:40,563
All right,
you've got 30 seconds to live.
167
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:43,167
- Twenty-nine, 28...
- Wait a minute.
168
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:44,597
You call that a second?
169
00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,238
It should be 27 Mississippi,
26 Mississippi...
170
00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:49,271
Twenty-five Mississippi,
24 Mississippi, 23...
171
00:11:49,475 --> 00:11:53,241
Stop it! You're crazy. You need help.
172
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:55,403
And so do you.
173
00:11:55,581 --> 00:11:58,379
What do you expect to accomplish
by killing us?
174
00:11:58,551 --> 00:11:59,575
Your death.
175
00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:04,584
You spoiled my plot.
176
00:12:04,757 --> 00:12:06,349
You turned me into a statue
177
00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:09,790
and you made me miss
my parents' 400th anniversary.
178
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:12,225
Four hundred years? Oh, that's terrific.
Mazel tov.
179
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,094
Thank you.
They're wonderful and still very alert.
180
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,291
Oh, really?
181
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:18,766
Don't we deserve to see
our first year anniversary?
182
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,270
Not the way you cook.
183
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,101
I saw you on Merv the other night.
184
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:25,607
I tried your Chicken Kiev recipe.
185
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:27,609
You used too much garlic.
186
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:32,240
You made me ruin my dinner party
and you're gonna pay for it.
187
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,612
Wait.
188
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:35,617
I have one last request.
189
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:41,590
I would like to die with dignity, with
honor and with my penny loafers on.
190
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,790
All right, hurry up. Hurry up.
191
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:47,728
The guys are waiting for me
down in the car. I have a 2:00 tee-off.
192
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:50,164
- Do you need a couple of caddies?
- Nine Mississippi...
193
00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:54,067
All right, all right. Don't rush.
It's not an easy thing to prepare for.
194
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,405
Hold it.
195
00:13:04,683 --> 00:13:06,776
Sissy shoes.
196
00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:10,315
Do you realize what I paid for these?
197
00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:12,582
Oh, Mork.
198
00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:18,821
Oh, will you look at that?
199
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:21,592
Kal, you don't have to kill me.
I'm gonna die of embarrassment.
200
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:24,429
- Put on the shoes...
- I'm trying...
201
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:26,863
This one?
202
00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:30,007
That was "let's go."
203
00:13:38,884 --> 00:13:41,079
- All right. Well, well, well...
- All right.
204
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:45,782
Well, you've been a lovely couple but
it's time to play "You Lose Your Life."
205
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:49,394
Thank you. It's nice seeing you too,
because there's no place like Rome.
206
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,155
There's no place like Rome.
There's no place like Rome.
207
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,799
There's no place like Rome.
208
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,861
Come back here.
209
00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:01,096
Come back here.
210
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,400
Mork.
211
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:04,633
Mindy.
212
00:14:06,612 --> 00:14:09,342
What do you gotta do
to kill somebody around here?
213
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,880
"Time travel shoes.
214
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:18,319
Ruby red. Size eight." Ugh.
215
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:23,325
I fell for the oldest time travel trick
in the books.
216
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:27,227
Sorry, guys, I can't play golf today.
217
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:30,163
I gotta go kill Mork and Mindy.
218
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,698
You did it.
219
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,896
We escaped through time.
220
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:10,906
- Where do you think we are?
- I don't know.
221
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:13,678
- Get us out of here.
- Here we go.
222
00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:16,246
- Hurry.
- Home, James.
223
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,747
- Home, James. Uh-oh.
- Mork.
224
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,318
Something's wrong.
Maybe the insole's short circuited.
225
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:24,388
Well, I hope I have the receipt.
226
00:15:25,991 --> 00:15:27,583
Do you realize where we are?
227
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,193
We're at the dawn of man.
228
00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:30,386
Oh, no, Mind.
229
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:33,292
Finally we'll be able to buy land
in California cheap.
230
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:39,100
Oh, no. Get ready for a fight.
231
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:41,102
Well, I see evolution
hasn't changed you.
232
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,273
I'll soothe the savage beasts.
233
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:46,809
Look.
234
00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:49,007
Yes.
235
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:52,308
Look nice. Nice.
236
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,720
The record company executives
did the same thing.
237
00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:11,767
Rahlu. Rahlu. Rahlu.
238
00:16:11,937 --> 00:16:13,370
Oh, she must think you did magic.
239
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:17,031
Well, either that or she's near-sighted
and has a foot fetish.
240
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:44,530
I knew I should have paid
more attention in eighth period history.
241
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:48,503
I'm trying to remember anything good
that ever happened in a cave.
242
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:07,085
Rahlu. Rahlu.
243
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:11,058
Mind, if we play charades tonight,
I want her on my team.
244
00:17:12,498 --> 00:17:14,329
Macho.
245
00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:31,345
Talk about your Old Spice, Mind.
246
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:34,452
Maybe you just need
partial protection.
247
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:37,913
- No.
- Mind, they're your ancestors.
248
00:17:38,090 --> 00:17:40,024
You talk to them.
249
00:17:40,192 --> 00:17:42,126
- Don't be afraid.
- Uh...
250
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:45,854
Me, ugh, Mindy.
251
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:49,364
Shiksa likes mayonnaise
and Tupperware.
252
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:53,528
- Him, Mork. Mindy, Mork.
- Na-no.
253
00:17:53,705 --> 00:17:58,699
We friends of yours.
254
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:05,407
We come here
from, uh, Boulder, Colorado.
255
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:09,748
Many moons from here.
256
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:13,455
Ah-ah-ah.
257
00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:15,152
Don't worry about them, Mind.
258
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:18,887
I think I have mastered their language.
Watch my lips.
259
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:39,909
Look.
260
00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:41,143
Ooh.
261
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,319
Listen.
262
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:55,096
Rahlu. Rahlu.
263
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:57,667
They're in key, Mind. They're in key.
264
00:18:58,937 --> 00:18:59,961
Rahlu.
265
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,197
Rahlu
266
00:19:01,406 --> 00:19:03,169
Rahlu.
267
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:05,601
Rahlu.
268
00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:08,439
Rahlu, RahluSometimes you ra-win
269
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:10,047
Sometimes you ra-lose
270
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:18,617
Now we have the Rahlu Blues.
Ha, ha!
271
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,203
Oh, uh...
272
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:46,044
Oh, no, uh, my doctor told me
I should cut down on raw zebra.
273
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:52,187
Oh, no thanks.
I really don't like mastodon tartar.
274
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:55,758
I'll stick to bark. I need the roughage.
275
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:59,158
- No.
- No. Not today.
276
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:01,322
Mork, will you just keep
working on that shoe?
277
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:04,162
- Yeah, Mind.
- I am freezing.
278
00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:08,830
I want to go home to our family
and a warm bed.
279
00:20:09,007 --> 00:20:10,838
Oh, yeah, and plumbing.
280
00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:12,704
Oh, and clean clothes.
281
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,470
And Frank Gifford.
282
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:15,841
What?
283
00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:18,209
We're freezing to death
and you miss Frank Gifford?
284
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,283
Don't you?
285
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:23,010
If you're freezing to death,
why don't we go over and pile on?
286
00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:25,850
I mean, that big guy over there
would make a great pillow.
287
00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:30,393
Look at them over there,
all heaped together like that.
288
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,189
I feel so sorry for them.
289
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:36,232
Yeah, they look like a dessert cart
at a cannibal restaurant.
290
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:38,733
Look how hard
they have to fight to survive.
291
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:43,238
Against animals and enemies
and this brutal climate.
292
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,002
I mean, all this tribe has
are a couple of crummy weapons,
293
00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:48,704
and they don't even have a fire.
294
00:20:50,148 --> 00:20:52,776
Help me gather some twigs.
295
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:56,077
Hey, Mind, what're you doing?
You don't have to clean up here.
296
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,621
I mean, you're not gonna invent
maid service, are you?
297
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,816
I'm not cleaning up.
I'm gonna make a fire.
298
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:04,552
Think about what you're doing.
You could be altering history.
299
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:06,891
I mean, then the Wright Brothers
could be wrong.
300
00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:09,226
The Righteous Brothers
might end up being atheists.
301
00:21:09,401 --> 00:21:11,062
What?
302
00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:14,296
Mork, all I know
303
00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:18,307
is the discovery of fire predates
cave paintings by thousands of years.
304
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,809
So that means somehow
this tribe lost that knowledge.
305
00:21:20,979 --> 00:21:23,539
- All I'm doing is giving it back to them.
- Well...
306
00:21:23,682 --> 00:21:26,480
Wouldn't you want someone
to do it for your son?
307
00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:28,643
Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
308
00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:30,685
Help me with the fire.
309
00:21:30,856 --> 00:21:32,118
I'm gonna do it.
310
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,553
Keep blowing.
311
00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:37,059
I'm gonna give these people
a better future.
312
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:41,922
Keep going. It's starting to work.
Keep blowing. Keep blowing.
313
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,091
Oh, you inventors
are so temperamental, Mind.
314
00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:46,669
It's starting to smolder.
I can't believe it.
315
00:21:46,838 --> 00:21:50,604
I saw this on Grizzly Adams,
but I didn't think it was gonna work.
316
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,676
Do you realize
what's happening here?
317
00:21:52,844 --> 00:21:57,474
I'm gonna give this tribe
a new lease on life.
318
00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,173
Can you bring that light over here?
319
00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:03,011
Pardon me.
320
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:04,716
How's this, hon?
321
00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:07,017
Oh, that's much better.
322
00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:14,028
Mind, guess who's
already invented fire?
323
00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:17,958
I am so embarrassed.
324
00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:23,972
Aw. It was a lovely gesture.
Don't you...
325
00:22:24,142 --> 00:22:25,803
Oh, little pooter, come on now.
326
00:22:25,977 --> 00:22:28,309
Mind, I guess we'll just have to invent
the Olympics now.
327
00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:31,012
Sprint.
328
00:22:33,051 --> 00:22:35,542
All right, so they had fire.
329
00:22:35,721 --> 00:22:38,189
But I want to leave these people
with something.
330
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:42,760
I'm gonna teach them how to protect
themselves or how to plant seeds.
331
00:22:42,928 --> 00:22:46,489
I know, the wheel. That's a good one.
Unless they've already invented it.
332
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:47,996
You wanna teach them something?
333
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,895
Teach them
how to invent pantyhose.
334
00:22:50,068 --> 00:22:51,865
Very funny.
335
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:55,370
Mork, think about how often you're
allowed to leave your mark on history.
336
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:01,072
Good morning, campers.
337
00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:04,579
I have such a lovely day
planned for us.
338
00:23:04,750 --> 00:23:06,274
First, I'm gonna vaporize you.
339
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:10,182
Then, the rest of us go canoeing.
340
00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,190
Hello.
341
00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:17,658
Kalnik.
342
00:23:17,796 --> 00:23:19,559
And you said I had sissy shoes.
343
00:23:20,465 --> 00:23:22,797
Stall him, Mind.
Maybe I can get these babies working
344
00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:27,928
Uh, so Kalnik, how'd you find us
out here in the boonies?
345
00:23:28,106 --> 00:23:29,903
It wasn't easy following you
through time.
346
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:34,102
I had tickets to the theater. I ended up
sitting between Booth and Lincoln.
347
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:40,042
But that's history,
and now so are you.
348
00:23:46,124 --> 00:23:47,250
Oops.
349
00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:51,787
Here goes nothing.
350
00:23:59,738 --> 00:24:03,333
Does anybody have any aspirin?
351
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:15,848
- Oh, Mork, I'm scared.
- Oh, don't be, Mind.
352
00:24:16,021 --> 00:24:17,352
Just hold on.
353
00:24:17,522 --> 00:24:19,149
I don't know what's in store for us,
354
00:24:19,324 --> 00:24:22,157
but whatever happens,
we'll have each other.
355
00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:33,100
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